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How to Deal With the Feeling of Unfitness for Spiritual Progress When It Arises in the Sadhana · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  It is perhaps a virtually universal experience.
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  An individual takes up a spiritual practice and for a
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  time, particularly when Satwa is in the forefront, he has unique
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  insights, experiences and a sense of progress.
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  At some point, however, these experiences tend to recede and
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  the individual is left to address the need for change in
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  his physical, vital and mental being.
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  At that point, things become more difficult, visible progress
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  is sometimes lacking, and discouragement can set in.
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  Milarepa, the renowned Yogi from Tibet, got to the point of
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  despair, even to the extreme of considering suicide as he felt
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  like he was unfit for the yogic practices he sought, that he had
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  accumulated tremendous burdens of sin and he was not succeeding
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  in making progress in his path towards liberation.
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  While not everyone comes to the point of suicidal thoughts, it
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  is clearly a well known experience to go through a dark
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  night of the soul along the way. The question then arises as to
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  the cause and the solution of this mood.
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  First, one must be able to separate oneself from the
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  external being, that is, having these thoughts and feelings.
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  Once the standpoint of the witness of the nature has been
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  established, seeing and dealing with these changes of mood and
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  their consequences becomes much simpler.
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  The vital nature actually gets a kind of perverse satisfaction
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  from raising up these feelings, as it draws attention and can
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  actually be a form of vanity which the ego personality
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  accepts and flaunts. It is then a seeking for
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  attention and a form of drawing energy from others to
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  commiserate and provide positive support.
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  The next step is to align oneself with the part of the
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  being that has the aspiration for the divine and the spiritual
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  growth. This is the psychic being and
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  once one is established firmly in this connection, the changing
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  moods and feelings associated with the modifications of the
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  three gunas become much less bothersome.
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  This allows the Sodic to experience peace and hold a
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  smiling attitude towards all the circumstances and vicissitudes
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  of life, even while undergoing challenges, facing obstacles and
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  dealing with these dark periods that come along with any attempt
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  to address and effectuate changes in human nature.
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  Sri Orobindo notes quote. Why do you indulge in these
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  exaggerated feelings of remorse and despair?
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  When these things come up from the subconscious, they do not
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  help and make it more, not less, difficult to eliminate what
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  comes. Such returns of an old nature
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  that is long expelled from the conscious parts of the being
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  always happen in Sadhna. It does not at all mean that the
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  nature is unchangeable. Try to recover the inner
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  quietude. Draw back from these movements
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  and look at them calmly, reducing them to their true
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  proportions. Your true nature is that in
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  which you have peace and ananda and love of the Divine.
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  This other is only a fringe of the outer personality, which in
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  spite of these returns, is destined to drop away as the
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  true Being extends and increases.
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  There's no reason to be so much cut down or despair of your
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  progress. Evidently you have had a surging
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  up of the old movements, but that can always happen so long
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  as there is not an entire change of the old nature, both in the
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  consciousness and subconscious parts.
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  The one thing to do is to quiet yourself and get back into the
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  true consciousness and poise. End Quote Reference Sri Orobindo
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  and the Mother Looking from Within, Chapter 4, Ordeals and
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  Difficulties, page 96.