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Rabbi Moshe Haber - Divine Mercy and Forgiveness Through Family Connection 9.28.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Is a book, a well known book that's classic.
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  It's called Tomah Dibuya. And the idea behind the SIPID is
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  there's a pursuit that describes God's attributes told us to our
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  people, which means God's care, sensitivity and uniquely God's
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  ability to overcome people wronging him, basically doing
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  things wrong to him. And that pursuit gives us word
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  by word a description of us, some strengths in that area.
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  And it's brought down that there's a major concept.
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  As we know, the pasuk says you have to be like Hashem.
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  So when they say be like Hashem means be like Hashem in these
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  areas. And these are of course, very
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  complete areas that only Hashem probably can attain to the full
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  degree. But there's something to adopt
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  from there. Explain what's the pasuk?
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  Pasuk is as follows. Pasuk.
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  And we have me MI El camojo. There's no God like, you know,
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  say, Avon, who's able to read the exact English.
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  He bears sin while Vera Peshar removes, including the Sheridan
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  Nahala Tor Nahala Tor to the remnants of his inheritance.
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  Lazig la that boy, he doesn't hold an anger, wants mercy.
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  Yahshuvi La Jimeno goes on and on all different details.
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  Yekbosh Abu Nathaniel God swashes our sins that Sukhumah
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  Soyam throws them into the river.
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  Kokhat Otam he did. Emily Arkov.
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  God is true with us, merciful with us.
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  I changed about the love Lieutenant.
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  We make it them because you swore to do so since the
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  beginning. OK, all attributes all big time
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  broad attributes in them one by one.
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  They detail have mercy. There's a couple that I think
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  that are everyone is is unbelievable.
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  This book is actually a beautiful book and it really
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  shows you real legitimate character, but it's two that I
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  want to focus on right now. 1 is that it says when Hashem is so
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  merciful and caring and specifically so forgiving, he's
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  forgiving Le Sherid Nakhalato to the remnants of his inheritance.
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  What does Sherid Nakhalato mean? What does that mean remnants of
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  inheritance? It means that God sees us as
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  family. He sees us as his inheritance,
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  his offsprings, his family. And part of his mercy comes from
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  the fact that he sees us as his family.
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  Let's break this down. Let's break it, bring out a
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  point over here and that is that a lot of time they're dealing
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  with other people and our minds are told others, especially if
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  they roam us as we, if they're not really so good to us, our
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  mindset toward them. The immediate mindset is to
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  separate mentally to see them as outsiders, as distant.
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  And that makes it easier for a fight.
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  When you feel that a person is part of you, that it's much
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  harder to get into a fight. You feel the person is your
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  other half and it's much more difficult to get into a fight
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  because the more you fight, the more you're hurting yourself in
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  the sense. So the idea of God forgiving us,
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  it's almost a trick to the system and that is that because
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  I show him seasons as his inheritance doesn't do him any
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  good to get angry at us and to keep the distance long term.
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  I give you a clear example. Marriage is simple.
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  I wasn't with the wife once again upset at his wife.
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  Very nice. His wife is something wrong?
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  She insulted him. The dinner wasn't what he
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  wanted. Whatever the examples are, they
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  only give you the classic example of burnt dinner.
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  I don't know. My husband, thank God for a few
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  years to me, the item has never been burnt.
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  Dinner. I don't know.
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  I don't care about food that much.
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  I don't think any of us care about dinner being burnt.
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  We don't care what the food tastes like.
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  We care about other things. But that's not that it's going
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  to take us off. But that's the example that was
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  given. The classic examples.
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  Anyhow, when your man gets nervous or upset at his wife,
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  who is your after 10 minutes, he's only hurting himself
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  because what happens? He has tension in the home.
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  Now he has stress. Now he has to do double the work
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  to fix it up. Now he's under pressure.
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  Now everything is going wrong and everything unravels.
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  We all know that. So you're getting upset because
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  you feel like getting upset and maybe you feel like it has the
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  right to get upset, but ultimately you're getting upset
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  at yourself. And the same is true if parents
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  get disappointed with their children.
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  So you get disappointed with your child, you get so
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  frustrated. OK, it happens.
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  You get frustrated with your children, you're upset with
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  them, and now you're walking around a bad mood to all your
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  children. Ultimately tell me that your
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  offspring is not going to succeed and isn't succeeding.
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  And who lives at home? Ourselves.
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  So when it says Hashem forgives and Hashem overcomes his anger
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  toward us, it's le sherid nakhala Tor.
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  It's because he sees us as his children and because he says
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  it's a good investment, it's worth it, it's smart.
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  It's a smart move to treat them as family.
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  I mean, family I want as a selfish angle.
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  This is a selfish angle. I want to get along with family
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  because it's better for me. One of my opinions that I've
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  seen over time is that when people don't get along with
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  other people, the first move is that they're not really the
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  lives are not the same lifestyle.
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  Because if I live in I live in Brooklyn and someone I used to
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  be very close to lives in deal and they do something wrong to
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  me, it's much easier to no, you don't get into as many fights
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  with them because an hour round, but it's much easier to slice
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  the onion to peel off the onion a little bit because then I'm
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  involved in my life. And when I don't have anything
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  to do with them, it's not really going to make a difference.
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  But if they're my actual family that I spend every day with,
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  it's a lot harder to get into a real fight because it's going to
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  really keep sticking its face back into me.
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  I would come to keep seeing it over over again.
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  And the mindset has to be is that they may live and deal
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  with. They may not be part of your
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  life, but they're always part of your life.
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  You want to always get along. In order to do so.
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  Recognize them as part of yourself.
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  This is the mindset they shared Nakhala to see them.
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  Hashem sees us as his offspring, and we should see each other as
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  family. And the more we see each other
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  as family, the easier more we're motivated to get along.
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  Because it's very hard to have a family meal.
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  And that guy's not talking, right?
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  It's much easier. That guy's not part of the meal
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  anymore. You're not talking to him, no
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  problem. But if he's bought the meal, you
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  want to talk to him, and the minds it should be, that's
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  always buy the meal. And there are people out there
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  who think, doesn't really matter if I get along with him anymore,
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  they're not part of my life. You keep sliced onion, enough
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  hands that matter. You keep cutting out this person
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  and cutting out that person and the other person.
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  Eventually you start to feel it. You may not feel it right away,
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  but eventually you start to feel it because your circle gets
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  smaller and smaller. And the mindset should be the
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  opposite of that. The mind should be, There is
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  nobody whom I want to be outside my circle.
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  Of course, we have all this, all exceptions to these rules, but
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  the overall mind, it should be, I'm going to forgive and forget
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  as much as it can because I want my circle to be full, to be
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  complete and to be whole. And we should try for that as
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  much as we can. I remember, I'll give you an
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  example. It's a classic exam.
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  I remember there was a man in the old days, probably 30
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  something years ago. And I always kept track of this,
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  my father's life, my study was that by the time he passed away,
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  any person who had anything that went wrong at all, and these
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  people were, I have to tell you first hand, watching any person
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  by the end that I fought his life.
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  They came around. I probably told you this once
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  before. One of the people was a man who
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  got involved in something in the shul over there.
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  I don't know what it was exactly.
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  This guy was a real problem. I remember he called my father
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  down to the hospital bed. He was on hospital bed today.
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  I said I followed forgiveness. I remember that was one example.
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  I was always stuck with me because I knew my father was a
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  nice person. So I felt bad if you had any
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  fights with anybody and he didn't have any fights with this
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  one person who had this complaint.
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  This person was out of his mind, honestly.
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  But yet he called, I followed it down.
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  I remember he used to walk out and he called fall down to his
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  hospital bed. That's forgiveness.
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  There was one example, another person similar, and I always
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  appreciate the fact that I followed it passed away.
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  We don't know Emeritus. He passed it with a circle.
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  It was pretty much complete, which means there wasn't a
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  person out there who was able to say, I am still, you know, now
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  we can't always do this. And again, in the business
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  world, extremely difficult. And, you know, you're dealing
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  with people over the years, you've had partners and you've
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  had people who never paid you and you have these different
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  examples. It's not so simple to just try
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  to have complete closure in every area.
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  But it is important to try to say in my daily life, the
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  regular people, especially my family, they really are my
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  family. I don't care if I have a lot of
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  siblings. I don't care if I have a lot of
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  children on my own. And if I don't need my siblings
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  anymore, I don't need my cousins.
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  You want to keep it as whole as possible if you can, because it
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  is constantly shadid. Nakhalato Hashem kept his family
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  as one, as one example. The other example is is what was
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  the other example I want to tell you Pasuki brings another word.
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  He brings in the Pasuki Lozique lad.
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  APOR doesn't hold on to the anger.
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  People can get upset temporarily, That's all natural.
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  Reactionary is very normal to get you a character to be at a
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  degree. You don't even react.
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  Is is the Malak. We all react, but once we react,
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  the next step, which is holding on and trying to keep ourselves
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  angry for no reason, There's no purpose in that.
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  And that is just keeping a fight going and who needs that?
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  What do I gain from them? So there's 1°, which is saying
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  to yourself, my family, my circle of my family is very
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  large and keeping it that way. And the other degree is making
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  sure once the anger subsides, allow it to go.
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  Allow that anger to subside. Don't try to find reasons to
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  remain in the fight. Don't try to convince yourself
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  that because I was right, I need to remain right.
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  That was then, that is over now, and that no longer matters.
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  There's no longer a reason to remain angry.
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  These are two points from this Basu.
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  If we adopt according to this, safer according to this concept,
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  if we adopt these two concepts, God will adopt the exact same
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  for us. So if I have a huge family,
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  Hashem will consider me part of His huge family and treat me
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  like a child. And if I am willing to, overtime
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  takes time, but all the time soften anger and chill out a
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  little bit. Once the original anger subsides
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  and there's out the shame, whatever we messed up on will
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  also go away because that original angles of silence
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  stopping these two things.