Latest / Daily Influence / 774. A Pause Is Not a Period: Lorraine Smith on Resilience, Rejection, Breast Cancer, and Returning to Your Dream
Transcript
- 0:10[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
- 0:14[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
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- 0:48[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to Daily Influence, I'm Greg Plano.
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- 1:06[SPEAKER_02]: Today on Daily Influence, we're joined by Lorraine Smith, an award-winning author who's story is rooted in resilience,
- 1:14[SPEAKER_02]: patients and the courage to return to a dream that life once required her to pause.
- 1:20[SPEAKER_02]: The rain road her man is script called Still Searching in the early 90s, face dozens of rejections stepped fully into motherhood and later returned to the work with renewed determination.
- 1:33[SPEAKER_02]: Along the way she navigated, single motherhood, professional responsibilities, breast cancer treatments, publishing delays, and a disruption of COVID-19, yet her message is clear and deeply relevant, a pause in life is not a period.
- 1:49[SPEAKER_02]: her journey reminds us that influence is not only found in achievement, it is found in perseverance in choosing purpose after disappointment and showing others that there is never too late to follow what has been placed on your heart.
- 2:05[SPEAKER_02]: Lorraine, welcome to Daily Influence.
- 2:07[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much.
- 2:08[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for having me.
- 2:10[SPEAKER_02]: During your story, carry such a powerful message, a pause in life is not a period.
- 2:15[SPEAKER_02]: Before we talk about the book itself, take us back to the beginning.
- 2:19[SPEAKER_02]: What's shaped your lover writing and what early influences help you believe your voice mattered?
- 2:25[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I actually started my love of writing from the age of 9 or 10.
- 2:29[SPEAKER_01]: My teachers, they saw that my creative writing, my was, I had the it, and they really encouraged me to write and be creative because they thought it, and they said, yeah, Lorraine, you have something.
- 2:44[SPEAKER_01]: And just don't stop, just keep going.
- 2:47[SPEAKER_01]: And it really started like an elementary school.
- 2:50[SPEAKER_01]: So I had a neck for the writing.
- 2:55[SPEAKER_02]: That's wonderful, and that foundation is important because so many people have a gift or a dream that starts early, but life does not always give them a straight path to follow it.
- 3:05[SPEAKER_02]: You sent out 60 manuscript copies of Still Searching in the early 90s and received 60 rejections.
- 3:12[SPEAKER_02]: Many people would have taken that as the end of the road.
- 3:16[SPEAKER_02]: How did you process that to support men and what can listeners learn about separating temporary rejection from permanent defeat?
- 3:23[SPEAKER_01]: Well, at the time, well, I wrote the manuscript and I had a newborn at the time, and we'll just even start before then.
- 3:33[SPEAKER_01]: I had a break up and I, you know, had a newborn, you know, and at the time, you know, doing break ups, a lot of people bail, go to hog and dogs or bond bonds or some other, you know, fix.
- 3:51[SPEAKER_01]: And it just poured out of me, you know, it started and just wouldn't stop.
- 3:56[SPEAKER_01]: So at the end of it, I realized that there was a manuscript, like, oh, wow, you know, and I read it.
- 4:03[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, I have something, you know, this is good.
- 4:06[SPEAKER_01]: And I like a couple of other people read it.
- 4:08[SPEAKER_01]: And they said, living this is gold, you know, you, you might want to do something with this.
- 4:13[SPEAKER_01]: So I said, okay.
- 4:14[SPEAKER_01]: And at the time, this is back in the 90s, there were we didn't have a computer.
- 4:19[SPEAKER_01]: So I couldn't push a button and send it to, you know, various publishers.
- 4:23[SPEAKER_01]: So what I did was I went to kinkles and printed 60 copies of my manuscript and then I took those 60 copies and took it to the post office and made 60 manuscripts throughout the country to these publishing companies.
- 4:47[SPEAKER_01]: But I know it's good and people said it was good.
- 4:50[SPEAKER_01]: My teacher said I could write what's wrong with these publishers.
- 4:54[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 4:54[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so, but
- 4:57[SPEAKER_01]: I said, well, maybe, you know, it's not my time, you know, and how I dealt with rejection, which no one likes rejection, I was like, what does someone with these people?
- 5:08[SPEAKER_01]: But I just figured, it just wasn't my time, you know, you have a newborn, but, you know, concentrate on raising your child, being the best mother you could be.
- 5:17[SPEAKER_01]: And if it happens
- 5:22[SPEAKER_01]: You tried it and you know, at least you tried it, you know, that sort of thing.
- 5:27[SPEAKER_01]: So fast forward 2000 15ish I was at work and the manuscript was in my drawer and that had to go in that drawer for something.
- 5:39[SPEAKER_01]: I don't remember what it was at this time.
- 5:41[SPEAKER_01]: So I opened the drawer and I've seen the manuscript sitting there and there's like an inch of dust on it.
- 5:46[SPEAKER_01]: And I looked at it.
- 5:48[SPEAKER_01]: I got what I needed out of the cabinet and I just closed the cabinet.
- 5:52[SPEAKER_01]: And that little voice that Lorraine pulled the manuscript out and I said, no, you know, who wants to be rejected yet again, you know, so much went by a year 18 months and I kept hearing that little voice, you know, pull it out, pull it up and usually when I don't listen to the, the little voice of the intuition, I would end up regretting that so I said, okay fine, I hear you, so I pulled it out, that's it off.
- 6:22[SPEAKER_01]: It's some reediting.
- 6:22[SPEAKER_01]: It's time we have computers.
- 6:27[SPEAKER_01]: So I just hit a button, sent it out to this time.
- 6:30[SPEAKER_01]: I cut it in half.
- 6:31[SPEAKER_01]: I did 30 publishing companies instead of 60.
- 6:36[SPEAKER_01]: And um, there was an interest.
- 6:38[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, you know, and I find with a small publishing company.
- 6:44[SPEAKER_01]: And because I wanted someone to hold my hand being the first time author, you know, I want to go with the major publishing company, we can get lost in the shuffle sort of speak.
- 6:53[SPEAKER_01]: So I signed with this small publishing company and they were amazing.
- 6:57[SPEAKER_01]: So step by step, I knew, you know, they, they held my hand and you know, walk me through the process.
- 7:04[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and October, I signed my contract and in December of that year.
- 7:12[SPEAKER_01]: I had my mammogram and your mammograms and I received that call usually it's no big deal Lorraine you find you get a little light in the mail so you're next year that sort of thing well this time I got a call and it says Lorraine you have breast cancer triple negative breast cancer let schedule you know surgery that sort of thing we get a team together and I'm like
- 7:36[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you know, just the wind just up right out of me, you know, what do I do now, you know, so I said, okay, you know, what do we have to do, what do we have to do to make this happen, I want to stick around, so let's make it happen.
- 7:55[SPEAKER_01]: So I spoke with my publishing company said, Lomeran, we'll follow your lead.
- 7:58[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever you want to do, we could put this on hold.
- 8:00[SPEAKER_01]: We could go with it.
- 8:01[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever you want to do, and I said, you know what?
- 8:03[SPEAKER_01]: I need this, because this is going to be my distraction.
- 8:07[SPEAKER_01]: So I was going through surgeries, chemo, radiation, and various appointments.
- 8:16[SPEAKER_01]: We were editing the book and going back and forth with my publishing company.
- 8:23[SPEAKER_01]: They were searching in wooden publish when our target date, but eventually it was published and I was cancer free and still searching was published.
- 8:36[SPEAKER_01]: It was great.
- 8:36[SPEAKER_01]: Everything was wonderful.
- 8:38[SPEAKER_01]: And then, um, book sales were going great.
- 8:42[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing book signings and you're speaking engagements, you know, things we weren't really nice.
- 8:48[SPEAKER_01]: And then call it hit.
- 8:52[SPEAKER_01]: So the world shut down, no one was buying books.
- 8:55[SPEAKER_01]: There were no bookfines, you know, people were more concentrated on how to live.
- 9:00[SPEAKER_01]: So I was like, okay fine, you know, so we, you know, world stopped, so I stopped.
- 9:06[SPEAKER_01]: Fast forward, my publishing company said, Lorraine, let's after COVID, let's republish the book, you know.
- 9:15[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm like, okay fine, so we republished the book
- 9:22[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it seems like the sky opened up and the sun and the rainbows and everything happened, you know, I was started winning awards.
- 9:33[SPEAKER_01]: I opened, you know, the book reached a larger audience.
- 9:38[SPEAKER_01]: Um, because the things were just happening and I'm going out to LA and, and I just think now it's my time.
- 9:44[SPEAKER_01]: My son is an adult now.
- 9:46[SPEAKER_01]: He's, you know, married.
- 9:47[SPEAKER_01]: He's, you know, out of grad school and
- 9:52[SPEAKER_01]: It's me.
- 9:53[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I can concentrate on Lorraine.
- 9:55[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, there are no distractions.
- 9:57[SPEAKER_01]: I can just concentrate on my writing and me and things are growing great.
- 10:01[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, we're sharing that I truly believe time is everything.
- 10:06[SPEAKER_02]: You know, that kind of persistence is not just personal determination.
- 10:10[SPEAKER_02]: It affects the people watching us, especially children, colleagues and people within our community.
- 10:17[SPEAKER_02]: During that season, you chose to put publishing on hold and focus on being the best mother you could be looking back.
- 10:24[SPEAKER_02]: How did that decision reflect responsible influence not just chasing a goal, but considering who your choices impacted?
- 10:36[SPEAKER_01]: that I, you know, things happen the way they did because if it happened, if I would say hypothetically, you know, if.
- 10:49[SPEAKER_01]: The goals, if I were to sign back in the 90s, and that sort of thing, I don't know if I would have been mature enough responsible enough because I had so many balls in the air being the single mother, starting basically a new career, you know, it was just a lot.
- 11:08[SPEAKER_01]: And there was no, I would don't know if I would have be able to reach the audience that I'm reaching now, there was no internet.
- 11:18[SPEAKER_01]: And now I'm reaching people in various countries as opposed to back then, probably not.
- 11:25[SPEAKER_01]: And it impacted, you know, I was able to raise my son's name is Joshua.
- 11:33[SPEAKER_01]: I was able to, you know, spend more quality time with him.
- 11:37[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, focus on him unconditionally, you know.
- 11:47[SPEAKER_01]: And there's a bond there that, you know, I don't think if the book was published, I would have had the time to concentrate on him the way I did, in fact, that it wasn't published.
- 11:59[SPEAKER_01]: So things happen for a reason, and the man upstairs knows what he's doing.
- 12:05[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, he's a well-adjusted, wonderful young man, and now I'm doing my thing and he's doing his.
- 12:13[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, that is such an important distinction.
- 12:16[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes influence isn't not about pushing harder.
- 12:19[SPEAKER_02]: It's about knowing what deserves your attention in a particular season.
- 12:24[SPEAKER_01]: And I also, and all my ducks were in a row.
- 12:27[SPEAKER_01]: I did what I,
- 12:29[SPEAKER_01]: had to do.
- 12:30[SPEAKER_01]: And it was just, okay, just be patient, Lorraine.
- 12:34[SPEAKER_01]: You've done your part.
- 12:35[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, I'll do mine.
- 12:37[SPEAKER_01]: You know.
- 12:38[SPEAKER_01]: So, and that's basically, I strongly believe that's how it was and how it is.
- 12:43[SPEAKER_01]: As long as you do, you do the work.
- 12:45[SPEAKER_01]: And then I'll take it from here.
- 12:47[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what happened.
- 12:49[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 12:50[SPEAKER_02]: Since publishing and republishing still searching, is there one reader event, a conversation or a moment that made your realize your story was positive, influencing someone else?
- 13:01[SPEAKER_02]: And if there was what happened and what did it say with you?
- 13:06[SPEAKER_01]: The fact that everyone could relate to the main character.
- 13:12[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Brenda Peakson, who she was a young woman who just didn't want to settle for those traditional, what everyone else was doing.
- 13:28[SPEAKER_01]: She wanted to step out of the box, there's more to life than the same day-to-day mundane way of life.
- 13:43[SPEAKER_01]: I think even though I attend, that was the theme.
- 13:48[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Brenda, I can relate.
- 13:50[SPEAKER_01]: You're writing about me.
- 13:53[SPEAKER_01]: So that was the major positive takeaway.
- 13:57[SPEAKER_01]: It was very relatable.
- 13:58[SPEAKER_01]: And people could relate to the main character.
- 14:02[SPEAKER_01]: And so that was Dr. Major take away.
- 14:08[SPEAKER_01]: That really stood out to me.
- 14:12[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, those moments often reveal the larger purpose behind the work.
- 14:15[SPEAKER_02]: They show us that what we create can travel far beyond what we ever expect.
- 14:21[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I had no idea.
- 14:22[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm just writing, you know, just came out of me and it's a story that so many people can relate to.
- 14:32[SPEAKER_02]: that's beautiful.
- 14:33[SPEAKER_02]: For someone who is listening, who is a dream that they've paused years ago, whether it is writing a book, starting a business, changing careers, rebuilding after an illness, what practical steps would you tell them to take in the next 30 days to begin again?
- 14:54[SPEAKER_01]: Don't be afraid.
- 14:55[SPEAKER_01]: Don't let fear freeze you.
- 14:57[SPEAKER_01]: Do your research.
- 14:59[SPEAKER_01]: It's more as, you know, if you want to write a book, you know, find, well, regardless of a business or book or whatever, find mentors.
- 15:07[SPEAKER_01]: I had some amazing, you know, mentors, you know, that helped me tremendously.
- 15:14[SPEAKER_01]: So, they're very, very, very important.
- 15:18[SPEAKER_01]: Have a cheering section.
- 15:19[SPEAKER_01]: Do your research, have a cheering section, have mentors.
- 15:24[SPEAKER_01]: They're going to be peaks and valleys.
- 15:27[SPEAKER_01]: And just, you know, I know it's a cliche, but you just can't give up.
- 15:31[SPEAKER_01]: If it's your purpose, and you know, this is what you want, and in your heart, and in your gut, you know that, I can do this, and this is my purpose, and this is what I really want to do.
- 15:42[SPEAKER_01]: go for it.
- 15:43[SPEAKER_01]: And my thing, you don't want to have any regrets because we have one life to live and you don't want at the end if I could have shot of.
- 15:53[SPEAKER_01]: And that's my lesson, that's my takeaway.
- 15:57[SPEAKER_01]: Just don't have any regrets or as few regrets as possible.
- 16:00[SPEAKER_01]: And just, you know,
- 16:02[SPEAKER_01]: All the path and you find great mentors, a great sharing section, do your homework, do your research.
- 16:12[SPEAKER_01]: There's no dumb question and just persevere.
- 16:17[SPEAKER_01]: And they're going to be a sleepless night, they're going to be, you know, am I crazy why am I doing this?
- 16:23[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, go to the end.
- 16:27[SPEAKER_01]: Never, never, never give up if that's your true, true passion.
- 16:32[SPEAKER_01]: Go for it.
- 16:34[SPEAKER_02]: That's great advice.
- 16:35[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
- 16:37[SPEAKER_02]: You were editing your manuscript while working two jobs and going through surgery.
- 16:42[SPEAKER_02]: Chemotherapy, appointments, and radiation.
- 16:45[SPEAKER_02]: When life was physically and emotionally demanding, what habits, mindsets, or accountability practices helped you keep
- 16:57[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I just kept thinking about my child.
- 17:00[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my son was my motivating factor.
- 17:05[SPEAKER_01]: He's my only child.
- 17:08[SPEAKER_01]: And I just wanted to be here for him and my thing was, what do I have to do to continue being on this earth for my son?
- 17:18[SPEAKER_01]: And that was it.
- 17:19[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's enough, I think.
- 17:22[SPEAKER_01]: He was my motivating factor.
- 17:24[SPEAKER_01]: I just wanted to be
- 17:26[SPEAKER_01]: Here for him, I wanted to see him graduate from undergrad, graduate from grad school, kid Mary, just be here for his support, you know, and it's like, you know, whatever.
- 17:44[SPEAKER_01]: is doctors you have to do whatever, you know, because okay, I was working the two jobs, and I was helping him with the on grad school and that sort of thing.
- 17:52[SPEAKER_01]: And it wasn't easy.
- 17:53[SPEAKER_01]: And there are days that, you know, I just didn't want to get out of bed, but I know, you know, if not me who.
- 17:58[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, I didn't.
- 18:03[SPEAKER_01]: all of my doctors instructions and you know, did you know, eight the right foods and you know, did my exercises and do my walking and you know, just did everything I could to, you know, get back on the healthy track.
- 18:17[SPEAKER_01]: So I could be here for him.
- 18:19[SPEAKER_01]: So he was my motivating factor, you know.
- 18:24[SPEAKER_02]: I put a beautiful story.
- 18:25[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for sharing that I'm so grateful you had him.
- 18:31[SPEAKER_02]: When listeners hear your story, I do not think that takeaway is simply follow your dreams.
- 18:37[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's deeper than that.
- 18:39[SPEAKER_02]: Be intentional with the influence your perseverance creates.
- 18:44[SPEAKER_02]: So what is one action?
- 18:46[SPEAKER_02]: You would challenge each listener to take today.
- 18:49[SPEAKER_02]: So they stop treating a pause as a period and start moving towards what still matters.
- 19:00[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, just, you know, the perseverance and just follow it having a good support system and, you know, just believe in in yourself, because they're going to people go to say, no, they're going to be so many more nose and yeses or 60 rejections like those.
- 19:19[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, you're going to, you know, build the press.
- 19:22[SPEAKER_01]: Then, you know, I'm not, you're going to start doubting yourself.
- 19:25[SPEAKER_01]: And that's sort of thing, but you just got to, you know, when you
- 19:31[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna say good girlfriends, good people who really believe in you and pick you up when you want to fall and just have that good support system around you and that's good mentorships and I just can't reiterate that enough.
- 19:50[SPEAKER_01]: So that's my takeaway.
- 19:53[SPEAKER_01]: Just a great girl friends and a
- 19:59[SPEAKER_01]: and great mentors and do your research and your homework and just find good people.
- 20:07[SPEAKER_01]: I was in LA a couple of months ago and at a book there.
- 20:13[SPEAKER_01]: And I just met randomly, another author.
- 20:15[SPEAKER_01]: And I was in LA a couple of months ago,
- 20:20[SPEAKER_01]: she was from Massachusetts had no clue and we're now we're like best buds and you know she's much younger than I am but and you know just like she just never know where your blessing is coming from and you know we
- 20:37[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, weird, each other's mentor, each other's cheerleader.
- 20:42[SPEAKER_01]: She's writing the book right now, and I am as well, another book, and we bounce ideas back and forth off of each other, and that sort of thing.
- 20:49[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just like, you know, just, just, you know, good people, and there's tons of good people out there.
- 21:00[SPEAKER_01]: Contrary to believe, but there are still good people out here who want to be there for you and help you and be a chair leader, and you know, what to see you succeed, you know, it's not all this cut throat, you know, I'm just out for me, you know, there are great people out there great, you know, just if you just find, you know, you're good, and you find them in the places that you, I had no clue that I was going to meet this woman, you know, it was just a random I was just walking and then,
- 21:27[SPEAKER_01]: And I had on a pink dress and her book was pink and and that was, you know, we're grateful to the color pink brought us together, you know, so you just never know.
- 21:39[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just, you know, that that's my take away just, you know, great people to your research never give up and you know, because they're going to be days that you want to but.
- 21:50[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you just have to find it deep sometimes you have to go deep in there and pull it out and say, you know, and have those, you know, people around you pick up the phone and say, I'm not, I don't know if I could do this.
- 22:03[SPEAKER_01]: And there's, and basically, yes, you can, you've invested too much and we know we believe in you.
- 22:10[SPEAKER_01]: And we're going to be at the finish line with you cheering for you.
- 22:13[SPEAKER_01]: And we're going to be at the Academy Awards or at the best business, you know, whatever award show.
- 22:19[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, cheering you on saying, we know you had it and look at you now.
- 22:23[SPEAKER_02]: So that's a beautiful advice, Lauren.
- 22:27[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for sharing that.
- 22:29[SPEAKER_02]: If our listeners want to get in touch with you, what does the best way to do so?
- 22:32[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you can reach that on all the platforms, Instagram,
- 22:46[SPEAKER_01]: We Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, you know, all the platforms are just Lorraine Smith.
- 22:56[SPEAKER_01]: I keep it sent all right.
- 22:59[SPEAKER_02]: We'll put that information on the show notes for our listeners.
- 23:01[SPEAKER_02]: Lorraine, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your stories and your advice today.
- 23:06[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so grateful for you.
- 23:07[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you so much, Greg.
- 23:09[SPEAKER_01]: I had a wonderful time.
- 23:10[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the rain story reminds us that life may interrupt our plans, but interruption doesn't have to mean completion.
- 23:18[SPEAKER_02]: A pause can be protection, preparation, or redirection, but does not have to be the final sentence.
- 23:27[SPEAKER_02]: As you move through your day, think about one dream, one conversation, or one act of courage you have been delaying.
- 23:36[SPEAKER_02]: take one intentional step toward it.
- 23:38[SPEAKER_02]: That step may be small, but your influence begins when you choose to move with purpose.
- 23:44[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for tuning into daily influence.
- 23:46[SPEAKER_02]: If today's episode inspired you, please share it with those in your life that could use a daily dose of positivity.
- 23:52[SPEAKER_02]: Remember, small actions create big impact.
- 23:55[SPEAKER_02]: Keep showing up, leading and growing one day to time.
- 23:58[SPEAKER_02]: Until next time, stay inspired and keep having a positive, responsible influence.
- 24:03[SPEAKER_02]: Bye-bye.