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HHBSO 1: Why a Podcast, and Why Now? · He's Hot but Something's Off...

• 0:00
  Hello, welcome to he's hot but something's off of me.
• 0:02
  Just Joey tea. This is the very first episode
• 0:05
  of my new personal podcast. So we'll who thank you for
• 0:09
  clicking into this podcast, which I'm sure I'm going to be
• 0:12
  advertising and all my shows on YouTube on Instagram.
• 0:15
  You have no idea what this podcast is about.
• 0:18
  So the fact that you took a chance and took some time of
• 0:21
  your data, click on it, I am very humbled, I guess, but I've
• 0:26
  been wanting to start my own podcast, my own personal podcast
• 0:28
  for A little while and just give you a little bit of a
• 0:32
  background, know why start a podcast and you know, what is
• 0:36
  this podcast about? So some of you might know me
• 0:39
  from my YouTube channel, just Joey tea.
• 0:41
  And I've been doing YouTube, this is the 10th year is like
• 0:45
  the 10th anniversary of me doing YouTube and let me go into the
• 0:50
  creek history of that. So, back in 2012, I think
• 0:54
  October November of 2012 is when I actually started or 2013,
• 1:00
  2013. Yeah, so I ten years ago, that's
• 1:03
  when I actually started doing YouTube.
• 1:05
  And at that time, I've been following some YouTubers YouTube
• 1:09
  was still pretty new. At the time you had been bought
• 1:13
  out by Google by then, but idea of like personalities on YouTube
• 1:19
  people that do vlogging for like they're living or like a
• 1:22
  substantial amount of their time was still like kind of sort of
• 1:26
  new obviously nowadays, everyone.
• 1:28
  It's a vlogger, any more of a camera?
• 1:30
  To put this up on YouTube and everyone's a vlogger now, and
• 1:32
  everyone's on influencer. But back then there were some
• 1:36
  people that I followed that were like, YouTubers quote-unquote
• 1:39
  that kind of sort of made their living there and I was like, oh,
• 1:43
  maybe I can do this, just for like, some random reason.
• 1:47
  So it was like the fall of 2013 that decided to start doing
• 1:52
  YouTube and when I first started doing YouTube, the videos I were
• 1:55
  putting out back, then is very different than what you see.
• 1:57
  Now, you went to my YouTube channel today.
• 1:59
  I was doing all Diary style Vlog, so I would just be going
• 2:06
  about my regular life in a regular day, I would have a
• 2:10
  camera on my phone with me and I would just feel myself.
• 2:13
  Just doing like regular everyday things.
• 2:16
  And I was like emulating the style of the YouTubers that was
• 2:20
  following up until that time. You look my YouTube channel
• 2:23
  today. You don't see any of that diary
• 2:25
  style Vlogs anymore. I still have all of the videos
• 2:29
  from From like the last 10 years, every video that I've
• 2:33
  ever put on to YouTube, I have like a backup copy of on my
• 2:37
  server in the house somewhere, but back then, when I first
• 2:40
  started out, it was two videos a week two or three videos a week
• 2:45
  and it was about nothing. Super interesting.
• 2:48
  Really, I was doing the night of five.
• 2:51
  I had graduated college, only a few years before that and I was
• 2:56
  just doing like regular everyday things.
• 2:57
  I wasn't like some famous person.
• 3:00
  And I didn't have like a super interesting job.
• 3:02
  I didn't, you know, I was just like a regular person and I was
• 3:04
  just on YouTube and very, very slowly over the years.
• 3:08
  I started traveling more and more and I made new friends and
• 3:12
  I started to go to some of these parties.
• 3:15
  You know, if you know me more recently EBC me more on
• 3:17
  Instagram, especially being watching, more of my recent
• 3:20
  YouTube videos, you see a lot go, a lot of gay cruises.
• 3:23
  I go to a lot of gay circuit parties.
• 3:26
  For example, I travel a lot more now compared to like 8 or 10
• 3:29
  years ago. Go along my current videos all
• 3:31
  focus on that. So I do advise videos for people
• 3:34
  who want to go on gay cruises now.
• 3:36
  So that's kind of sort of been an evolution.
• 3:39
  I started doing these Diaries on YouTube, these Vlogs eight, or
• 3:43
  ten years ago, then I started traveling more and I started to
• 3:46
  Vlog all my travel adventures and then I started doing like
• 3:50
  after movie Style videos on YouTube of like, some of the
• 3:54
  bigger trips. I went to like when I went to
• 3:58
  Mykonos, when I went to Barcelona, Mona.
• 4:00
  When I went to Madrid like all these places.
• 4:03
  When I had all these big trips starting around like 2015, 2016
• 4:06
  or so, I made these like big huge kind of sort of protection
• 4:10
  to me. There were big, huge Productions
• 4:11
  but there are really difficult to edit and it was a lot of
• 4:14
  filming but yeah, it's been an evolution and along the way I
• 4:18
  kind of stopped doing those diary style Vlogs.
• 4:22
  So I haven't done those for a while.
• 4:24
  The last time I did diary style Vlogs on YouTube was when the
• 4:28
  epidemic started. It.
• 4:30
  So when it started in like March, 20 20, I had this idea, I
• 4:34
  was talking to some friends on lying and they had an idea like,
• 4:37
  oh, why don't you do a daily Vlog while we're in quarantine,
• 4:42
  which I thought was an interesting idea.
• 4:44
  I never thought daily vlogging was something that was going to
• 4:48
  be for me because it's a lot of work to daily Vlog.
• 4:52
  I used to Vlog like two or three times a week and that was
• 4:55
  already quite a lot of effort, but when we're in quarantine, we
• 4:58
  literally had nothing to You in March of 2020.
• 5:01
  So I thought you know what have nothing to do so like why not?
• 5:04
  So I gave it a shot. So I started vlogging every
• 5:07
  single day, those daily flocks I did during the early days of the
• 5:11
  quarantine of covet. They are actually up on a second
• 5:14
  Channel. I created on YouTube, called
• 5:16
  more. Joey tea, if you want to go
• 5:18
  check that out, all the daily Vlogs I did during the early
• 5:23
  days in quarantine, they're all up there.
• 5:24
  I counted the other day I think it was over 100 days where Where
• 5:30
  I vlogged every day and I put out a video every single day.
• 5:35
  That's the last time on YouTube that I did some sort of diary
• 5:37
  Style video of any sort, you know, all the other newer videos
• 5:41
  are the crews advice videos. For example, and me doing this
• 5:46
  podcast is kind of sort of a return to the diary style cell
• 5:51
  where I can talk about my every day that I go through.
• 5:55
  You know, the life that I'm living things that I'm going
• 5:57
  through, for example, but in like a A to duty way, doing the
• 6:01
  vlogging meant that whenever I was doing anything throughout
• 6:05
  the day, I would whip up my phone without a camera, and I
• 6:08
  would start filming myself. Doesn't matter if I was at home
• 6:12
  or Outdoors, doesn't matter about at a venue or in a
• 6:15
  restaurant, the gym, or whatever, you know, it.
• 6:16
  Because to do the diary style vlogging, that's kind of sort of
• 6:20
  what you do. Imagine?
• 6:22
  Well, I guess people do that on Tick Tock and Instagram stories.
• 6:26
  That's kind of sort of what people do nowadays but Even in
• 6:31
  Imagine instead of doing the Instagram stories whereas kind
• 6:33
  of like you take 5 10 15 second video at that time.
• 6:37
  And you upload it, you had to stitch all the clips you took
• 6:41
  throughout the day or the week or whatever together.
• 6:44
  And then you have to edit it and then you put onto YouTube.
• 6:46
  So, you know, before we had snap before, we had Instagram stories
• 6:51
  before, we had Tick-Tock, you know, that's the way that people
• 6:56
  influencers were able to do vlogging was putting it on you.
• 6:59
  You. So yeah.
• 7:00
  So that's kind of sort of the history of me doing the YouTube
• 7:04
  and how is kind of sort of let me now to do the podcast, which
• 7:07
  is something. I'm going to try out.
• 7:10
  I don't know if it's going to be something.
• 7:12
  I'm going to do for like years and years on end.
• 7:15
  Honestly, the YouTube the fact that I've been on YouTube for 10
• 7:18
  years and have kind of sort of been putting out videos somewhat
• 7:22
  consistently over the 10 years. It's a bit of a miracle.
• 7:26
  It's like, when I first started doing YouTube, I I had no idea.
• 7:31
  I would get the amount of falling that I have.
• 7:34
  And I'm, by the way, I'm not a famous person by any stretch of
• 7:38
  the imagination on YouTube. I have like a niche that somehow
• 7:42
  I stumbled onto that resonated, with a small number of people.
• 7:46
  I've got a small number of followers on their, but it's
• 7:50
  enough that it kind of motivates me to keep on producing that
• 7:54
  particular niche of content, you know, switched about the gay
• 7:57
  cruises and the gay parties and kind of gauge how Will advise.
• 8:01
  But yeah you know and then the other thing about me and you
• 8:04
  guys can get to know a lot about me as I do these episodes on the
• 8:07
  podcast and get a little personal with some of the stuff
• 8:10
  is whenever I want to do something like, I have an idea
• 8:14
  but I don't have a lot of follow-through and I don't have
• 8:17
  a lot of initiative. So the YouTube thing was when
• 8:20
  those things were okay, I'm just going to go do it.
• 8:24
  Like I just get a camera start filming.
• 8:27
  Throw it together. See what comes Comes out.
• 8:30
  And that's kind of sort of what I need to force myself to do a
• 8:33
  little bit, whenever I try to start some sort of new project
• 8:36
  because I will honestly think about something anything that I
• 8:41
  want to do. And then like eventually
• 8:45
  overthink it and then it will seem too complicated to me and
• 8:49
  then I won't get it started. There's actually a couple of
• 8:52
  side projects right now where I'm doing that exact thing and
• 8:56
  I'm aware of it and it's so hard to bring myself out of that.
• 8:58
  But with the Ass all this equipment that you can sort of
• 9:02
  see in the video so that there's going to be a video version
• 9:05
  that's going to go onto YouTube and I think also Spotify, I'm
• 9:08
  still figuring all the podcasting platforms and how
• 9:11
  it's going to work, but I'm pretty sure the video version
• 9:14
  will be on Spotify. You release it from there and
• 9:16
  I'm going to also upload to Youtube and then all the other
• 9:20
  platforms, all the other podcasting apps where you get
• 9:22
  your podcast, get the audio only version of this.
• 9:26
  Yeah. So I just wanted to do it all
• 9:29
  the cream that you See, right now, I literally acquired over
• 9:33
  the last two or three days. I went on eBay.
• 9:36
  I just bought a bunch of use podcasting equipment for, like,
• 9:40
  kind of sort of cheap on a discount.
• 9:41
  I wasn't going to Splash out the mucho amounts of dollars on
• 9:46
  brand-new podcasting equipment, but I got a pretty decent setup
• 9:49
  here that I'm really excited about using every week going
• 9:52
  forward. Yeah.
• 9:53
  So hope to put some content together for you guys and also,
• 9:58
  I think I'm also doing this. Myself a little bit because I
• 10:01
  find it personally really helpful, you know, people they
• 10:04
  will write in a journal or like a diary and it's like
• 10:07
  therapeutic for them or I people also can go see like a therapist
• 10:11
  and then they can talk someone's ear off for like I don't know a
• 10:14
  thousand dollars an hour or whatever it is.
• 10:15
  But I think for me I've always found a little bit of therapy
• 10:20
  when I was doing those diary style Vlogs before even though
• 10:26
  it was Luke no like, oh look at me, I'm gonna go get yogurt.
• 10:29
  Oh, Look at me, I'm the supermarket buying milk.
• 10:31
  It wasn't really about anything of particular substance.
• 10:34
  Absolutely showing myself just doing everyday things.
• 10:37
  Whereas I think with the podcast just was the format of it.
• 10:40
  I'm able to talk about a lot of topics that I don't get to
• 10:44
  explore a lot with others. You know.
• 10:47
  Obviously I talk to my friends about certain things but I think
• 10:50
  this is an area where I can go really deep on some topics.
• 10:54
  So yeah, I'm just like gonna do it and not worry too much about
• 10:59
  the Long-term longevity of where this is going to go.
• 11:04
  I mean, these days in ages. I mean anything on the internet
• 11:07
  the probably doesn't last that long anyways, but hey, you two,
• 11:10
  it, lasted for 10 years and it's still going.
• 11:12
  So we see where this goes. The first thing I kind of want
• 11:17
  to talk about on this very first episode is I've been on a career
• 11:22
  break and back in December. I decided to quit my honestly
• 11:27
  pretty well paying day job 9. 25, it type of a thing.
• 11:32
  And since December, I've been on this quote-unquote, career
• 11:36
  brick. There's a video pin to the top
• 11:38
  of my Instagram profile with Miss Richfield 1981, who's a
• 11:42
  very famous drag queen super, super funny.
• 11:46
  And I was on an Atlanta screws in January this year on the
• 11:50
  Norwegian primo and I was at her show and she was doing this bit
• 11:55
  where she was kind of bringing some people onto the stage.
• 11:59
  How she picked me up sitting at a certain year, the front and
• 12:03
  yeah. So basically go watch that bit.
• 12:05
  It's pretty funny. It's only like a 15-second bit.
• 12:08
  But anyways, I've been on this career break for five going on
• 12:12
  six months now. And I want to go talk about that
• 12:17
  a little bit because like, no one really knows why I'm on this
• 12:21
  break. I have some close friends that
• 12:22
  I've like, had that conversation with and I kind of like explain
• 12:25
  the ins and outs, but I think most people have no idea like
• 12:29
  oh, It's Joey just like a lazy asshole that decided he just
• 12:33
  doesn't want to work and he's just traveling and partying all
• 12:35
  the time. It's not quite like that and
• 12:37
  it's also not some like trivial reason that could be like very
• 12:42
  easily explain why I took this career break so in the context
• 12:46
  of this podcast but it's my podcast and I can talk about
• 12:49
  whatever I want. Yeah, I want to talk about that
• 12:51
  a little bit more. So we have to rewrite back to
• 12:55
  early 2022. So this is like a little Over
• 13:00
  over a year ago a year and half ago like December 20 like winter
• 13:03
  Christmas 2021 right around there.
• 13:06
  And I've been with the company is working with that time for
• 13:10
  about three years or so two and a half three years and I started
• 13:14
  with them in San Francisco before the pandemic.
• 13:18
  So I was like, going into the office every day.
• 13:20
  It's a company that I really enjoyed working for like the
• 13:24
  company as a whole like in terms of what the company did I what's
• 13:28
  what they still do now? I still really Ali like I still
• 13:32
  really like the company. You know like the their product
• 13:34
  and service was something I really stood behind a really
• 13:37
  understood. I thought it was like a great
• 13:39
  thing that they were doing right.
• 13:40
  You know it's always great when you work for a company where you
• 13:43
  like the product or service. They're putting out there and
• 13:46
  you know you have a good understanding of it so it was
• 13:49
  great to work for and actually had a really good time working
• 13:52
  there. I had a really great team when I
• 13:54
  first started there that's working with I was happy with my
• 13:57
  pay you know I was getting My all the right ways in terms of
• 14:00
  like the work I was doing and that fast forward a little bit
• 14:04
  though into 2021 and the manager of the boss that I had at the
• 14:10
  time, I had some health issues and you know, she had to kind of
• 14:15
  take a little bit of time off. And I kind of sort of had to
• 14:19
  take over as like the lead of the team.
• 14:22
  I'm kind of sort of using air quotes like a little bit because
• 14:25
  it was never officially kind of discussed or talked about, with
• 14:29
  my VP or like, kind of anyone else?
• 14:31
  It was kind of sort of automatically assume that like,
• 14:35
  oh, you know, whoever it's a way.
• 14:38
  So like Joey is just going to like, fill in for her so and I
• 14:42
  did for like about three months or so and when I first started
• 14:45
  doing that I thought like oh this is like a great chance for
• 14:48
  me to show more of my leadership skills you know temporarily kind
• 14:52
  of covering for my boss who kind of like run, it's like a head of
• 14:55
  the department runs the whole team, you know, this is great
• 14:59
  for me, right? Something I can put on my
• 15:00
  resume. This is where I can kind of
• 15:02
  develop some new skills and you know, it's a temporary
• 15:04
  Arrangement so that's great and then in the summertime 2021, my
• 15:09
  boss came back, you know, having kind of kind of resolved, her
• 15:13
  medical issues or whatnot. She came after like three or
• 15:15
  four months or so and then unfortunately she had to like
• 15:18
  kind of go back on like the the medical more treatments and
• 15:22
  things like that. I'm not going to get super into,
• 15:24
  you know, that kind of what she was going through, but I kind of
• 15:29
  came back into me taking over again.
• 15:32
  Unfortunately, her condition in the end didn't improve, like God
• 15:39
  bless her. You know, she's like, smiling
• 15:41
  down from us from Heaven. She was one of the best like
• 15:44
  managers leaders. I love using that word that I've
• 15:47
  ever had and she was like, like a.
• 15:51
  She became a friend to me in that position.
• 15:55
  And I think it's rare for you to find, you know, a manager or
• 15:59
  Someone who's your boss really? Does somebody report to at work
• 16:02
  where you have like a really good relationship with them and
• 16:05
  they kind of sort of become like a work friend type of a thing.
• 16:08
  But I super respect to her. She was like super smart super
• 16:12
  intelligent but she also knew like not to take things like
• 16:16
  super seriously and she wasn't like a boss because I don't
• 16:20
  really like that word in the office context.
• 16:22
  She wasn't the boshy never barked orders down at us, right?
• 16:26
  I like it. When a leader in a company and
• 16:29
  like that the corporate environment if you will.
• 16:31
  You know, the way you show leadership, is show respect for
• 16:35
  the people on your team and you're not there to boss people
• 16:39
  around. Yes, sometimes occasionally, you
• 16:40
  might need someone on the team to do something but that's like,
• 16:44
  you know, delegating a task, that's not like barking ordered
• 16:47
  down. There's a big difference there
• 16:49
  and maybe in the future podcast, I'll talk about that.
• 16:52
  But anyways, my manager basically this is like the fall
• 16:58
  of 2021. She had to go back, you know,
• 17:01
  like leave work again for more treatment and I kind of again
• 17:06
  because I cover for three months, it was automatically
• 17:09
  assumed without any discussion that I would automatically kind
• 17:11
  of pop back into that role but having done it for three months
• 17:16
  by the time I was like, okay, this is like extra work.
• 17:19
  Now, you know, like doing it for three months, was cute.
• 17:22
  But now I'm doing it for like, I don't know how much longer.
• 17:27
  So I jump back into that kind of sort of Head covering Deputy
• 17:31
  what I'm covering for her. Whatever that term is the fall
• 17:35
  of 2021 and then it became winter and time.
• 17:40
  And then I remember in December, I had a talked with my VP and I
• 17:46
  basically let him know that I was getting kind of burnt out
• 17:50
  and overwhelmed in a way and looking back on it.
• 17:55
  Now, I don't know, like hindsight's always 20/20 but
• 17:59
  Lee. That's how it went down.
• 18:00
  I was getting a little bit burnt out, doing kind of like the
• 18:03
  extra work and I talked to my VP about a little bit and long
• 18:10
  story short, you know, when come come to New Year, this is like
• 18:14
  the start of 2022. I kind of felt like, you know
• 18:18
  what I've been doing? I've been covering for my
• 18:20
  manager for a while. Now while still also do my
• 18:24
  regular job to company had kept growing, the team had kept
• 18:28
  growing, you know, I'm I'm doing more than one person's work, but
• 18:32
  over time, even after having people that I work with, like
• 18:36
  when I go into a meeting all this time that I've been
• 18:39
  covering for my manager, they've all said like, oh your manager
• 18:42
  is not here like you must be like really busy and like
• 18:45
  you're, you know, you're covering for her below blah.
• 18:48
  But like that was it there wasn't any like, recognition for
• 18:51
  my VP. There wasn't like, any kind of
• 18:55
  official recognition form recognition, for my department,
• 18:58
  from the company there. An any light increasing like a
• 19:01
  bonus, even like a little extra money here and there.
• 19:04
  And during that time, I was like, I knew people on my team
• 19:06
  that I was helping. When I, when they reporting to
• 19:10
  me, when I was covering for manager, I like double the
• 19:12
  number of ports. I like, at one time, like, 15
• 19:14
  people reporting to me and people management is like,
• 19:17
  sometimes in itself, like a job, all by itself, sometimes 40
• 19:21
  hours a week, and I know that the team when you're, when
• 19:26
  you're a manager on a team, you know, that people on your team,
• 19:28
  sometimes, they put extra weight.
• 19:29
  And you want to reward and recognize that, hey, you know,
• 19:32
  because you're covering for someone else, you have put in
• 19:35
  extra hours, you were extra hard.
• 19:36
  You know, you're doing more than one person's job.
• 19:38
  You want to recognize them and like, because they're going
• 19:41
  above and beyond, right? And I did that for the people
• 19:43
  that we ported to me, for the whole team because I was
• 19:45
  covering for my manager, I did not feel that that was applied
• 19:52
  to me like clearly been covering for someone for the better part
• 19:56
  of a Year. Everyone I'm already knew at my
• 19:58
  VP, knew it All the people, I talked to that, I have meetings
• 20:01
  of all the time knew it. But you know, like came the New
• 20:05
  Year came like animal, the salary adjustment period.
• 20:08
  Can the bonus period? It was like not reflected and
• 20:11
  not even like my BP saying that hey you know what, Joey, you've
• 20:14
  been covering for your manager for X number of months.
• 20:16
  Now, I just want to like, take some time to say, you know what?
• 20:20
  Like I really appreciate that you're doing.
• 20:23
  Like the, it's not even that and I felt like I shouldn't have to
• 20:28
  beg. Be like, hey, recognize me
• 20:31
  because I've been doing like this, extra person's job, so
• 20:36
  that was basically the main trigger for me, leaving that
• 20:41
  company. Oh my God, by the way.
• 20:43
  But now that I'm talking about it, I don't think anyone that
• 20:46
  accompanies, even knows my social media.
• 20:48
  And if they hear this, I feel like I Harbor no ill will
• 20:54
  towards any of the people I work with, you know, some of these
• 20:58
  things. And I know you can hear the
• 21:00
  story and think like, oh, your VP wasn't a very good leader.
• 21:04
  I don't think that's true. You know, he have a ton on his
• 21:07
  plate. I knew.
• 21:10
  But you know what? At the end of the day, if you
• 21:14
  are not happy with your job and you do have the option to go
• 21:19
  find a different job. I mean, if you're not happy with
• 21:21
  your job, You know, you try to work with your company to see
• 21:24
  how we can make your situation better, if that's possible,
• 21:27
  right? Maybe that's not possible all
• 21:28
  the time, but I at the time felt like, you know what, I not, I'm
• 21:35
  not getting extra bonus. I'm not really getting any
• 21:38
  recognition for all this extra work.
• 21:39
  I'm doing, you know, and then with the, you know, with the
• 21:43
  situation, with my manager, being a leave not looking super
• 21:46
  great, which is not her fault. Obviously, I just felt like, you
• 21:50
  know what? I'm kind of sort of getting the
• 21:53
  short end of the deal. I'm doing all this extra work
• 21:56
  for the better part of a year. No extra money.
• 21:58
  No occur. Make sure right?
• 21:59
  Your condition no extra. Thank yous.
• 22:01
  Why should I keep doing it? So that's kind of the mindset
• 22:04
  that I was in and doing all the extra work made me like kind of
• 22:08
  extra burnt out. So now we're in 2022 and like
• 22:13
  the spraying and I started looking for a new job and in the
• 22:18
  summertime like almost exactly in June or July or something.
• 22:22
  I actually had like three different offers from like three
• 22:25
  other companies that luckily landed in my inbox right around
• 22:29
  the same time, it within like a couple weeks and that's when I
• 22:32
  took a new job offer and then I ditch my old job.
• 22:38
  And here's the thing though, I was at the new job to this is
• 22:42
  summer 2022 of last year and I told you I couldn't December, so
• 22:46
  only last in the new job for six months, then that's going to be
• 22:50
  pretty obvious. That that Didn't work out.
• 22:55
  Not to like talk shit about that company because it was not a bad
• 22:59
  company. It's just I didn't I don't think
• 23:04
  I quit my previous job, getting this new job for the right
• 23:07
  reasons and when I took on the new job I found out really
• 23:12
  quickly because if the issues I had was just with how my
• 23:16
  previous work was freely me or that previous work environment.
• 23:19
  If you were to switch to a new company and switched to a new
• 23:21
  job, I thought well that would obviously change what I'm
• 23:24
  getting right up the root cause. But the root cause wasn't just
• 23:28
  because of the previous company. And when I started a new company
• 23:32
  which, you know, to be honest, spill the tea, like, this is the
• 23:38
  hot fresh scolding T like I did not love the manager at that
• 23:46
  job. Oh my God, I hope you didn't
• 23:48
  lose in this but I don't think we got along very well and Yeah,
• 23:54
  I basically I took the I took I switched jobs for maybe not all
• 23:57
  the right reasons. But anyways, I only lasted there
• 24:01
  for six months, you know, it's never my intention to like just
• 24:05
  take on a job like start a whole new job and have them invest in
• 24:08
  me and it's also an investment on my end them as well.
• 24:12
  Just a quick six months later, but in the last couple of months
• 24:16
  of me being there, it was like Joey, this is really not where
• 24:21
  you should be. But the flip side of that coin
• 24:24
  is I have no idea what I needed. And it was just really weird
• 24:29
  head space of like I'm not motivated by this job but like
• 24:35
  I've no idea like how to fix it or like, what was the root cause
• 24:39
  I thought that would cost was because I was not getting what I
• 24:43
  needed from previous job. So I could just trust switch
• 24:46
  companies and maybe get it from a new company in a new position.
• 24:50
  So I try to do that and I was was no better off in terms of
• 24:55
  like my mental health. And actually started seeing like
• 24:57
  a pauper therapist in like April or May kind of at the tail end
• 25:01
  of the previous job. Just like work some stuff out.
• 25:05
  I'm not seeing that therapist anymore but yeah, basically, now
• 25:10
  here we are today where six months in, I'm six months into a
• 25:14
  career break and I don't have all the answers and but I will
• 25:22
  Taking this break was something that I'm very thankful.
• 25:26
  I had the luxury of because I understand a lot of people can't
• 25:31
  just up and leave their job, their primary source of income
• 25:35
  and you know, be able to have enough savings, for example, to
• 25:39
  just kind of keep on going or just have like fun employment.
• 25:46
  I I'm I am more relaxed if you will, but I am very cognizant
• 25:51
  that not everyone is able to do this.
• 25:53
  So I'm, I'm thankful that I did have enough.
• 25:57
  Well, I've some money. Excuse me to be able to kind of
• 26:00
  take this little bit of a break and kind of really work through
• 26:04
  in my head, like, what am I missing?
• 26:08
  And, you know, like what is the next step in my career?
• 26:10
  So in a way it's almost a little bit of like that midlife crisis.
• 26:16
  I'm not life yet. I'm poaching there pretty
• 26:18
  quickly, but I don't think I'm quite there, but at least in
• 26:21
  terms of like, Climbing the ladder and this is the analogy.
• 26:24
  I like to use for myself us to like why I'm taking this career
• 26:29
  break. It kind of felt like up until
• 26:32
  this point in my life. I was on autopilot.
• 26:35
  It's like when you're a kid, you go to school because all kids go
• 26:40
  to school, you just do it kindergarten.
• 26:42
  First grade second grade up to like this 12th grade and then
• 26:44
  when you graduate high school, like you go to college, if
• 26:48
  you're able to because his that's what society and everyone
• 26:51
  your parents It's all your peers are going to college all
• 26:54
  applying to college, but you're in senior year of high school.
• 26:58
  That's like what you're supposed to do, right?
• 27:01
  So I did that, I went to college and you know, I did my
• 27:05
  bachelor's degree and I did internships during my college
• 27:08
  Years. And after that, you know, you're
• 27:10
  supposed to get a job this year. An adult now and you know, you
• 27:13
  need to have your own money, you need to have a career, you need
• 27:16
  to have that type of job. And also when I was growing up,
• 27:20
  I've got parents that are Hong Kong.
• 27:23
  So they kind of have a more traditional sense of what their
• 27:30
  kids are supposed to do when they grow up.
• 27:32
  So, my parents never wanted me to be like, famous, or rich or
• 27:36
  anything of that sort. The only thing they value is
• 27:41
  stability and reliability, so it wasn't like, oh, go like do
• 27:46
  something super incredible where you'd be famous or Rich and
• 27:49
  blah, blah blah. It's more like work for find the
• 27:52
  most Most stable company in the most a witness tree, you could
• 27:56
  like a doctor or like a lawyer, that kind of thing.
• 28:00
  Get a job. You don't have to be like very
• 28:02
  high demand career ladder, but something that like it's going
• 28:05
  to pay your bills. Something we're going to get a
• 28:08
  solid paycheck, like whatever the most stable thing is not the
• 28:10
  most money is, whatever is going to give you the most reliable
• 28:13
  paycheck, right? Large companies are stable, you
• 28:16
  know, like more established Industries are more stable, more
• 28:20
  established occupations are more stable.
• 28:22
  Have a regular paycheck. Don't kick a rock, the boat,
• 28:25
  don't go. Quitting your job for something
• 28:27
  better, just like have a solid paycheck, right?
• 28:30
  That to retirement. So my upbringing was kind of
• 28:34
  sort of have put me into that mindset that I didn't really
• 28:38
  notice, really affected some of the Life Choices.
• 28:42
  I made all along, especially after I graduate college.
• 28:46
  And then after I kind of sort of working, my brother sister, I
• 28:50
  kind of sort of on that like don't stick around A couple of
• 28:52
  typos but thing they've had their jobs for like, many, many
• 28:55
  years. I'm definitely like the outlier
• 29:00
  of like us three kids, but basically, I graduated, and I
• 29:05
  landed a job out of college in 2010, with Google down in
• 29:09
  Silicon Valley, which is like, I'm so thankful that in that
• 29:15
  economic environment back in like 2009 was when I graduated
• 29:18
  college and then I was not bumming around.
• 29:22
  But like I didn't I wasn't able to secure really any type of
• 29:27
  like proper job for like a little bit coming out of that
• 29:31
  time which is, you know, like not really a great time for a
• 29:35
  lot of people in the economy or in the job market to be really
• 29:38
  honest and somehow Google like gave me like a job offer that
• 29:45
  could be like a future podcast topic but basically you go to
• 29:49
  school because that's what you're supposed to do or
• 29:51
  question it. You go to college.
• 29:53
  That's what he's supposed to do, never questioned it and then you
• 29:56
  go get a job, you know, you do because you have bills to pay.
• 29:59
  Now, you're an adult and you know, question it, but statue is
• 30:02
  supposed to do and then if you're in corporate you climb
• 30:05
  the career ladder, you try to get promotions and you get
• 30:08
  raises and you get bonuses. You can increase your salary
• 30:12
  because that's what you're supposed to do.
• 30:14
  You don't question it. And then eventually you're
• 30:16
  supposed to like buy your house because renting a supposedly for
• 30:19
  suckers. But well why?
• 30:22
  Well, that's what you're supposed to do.
• 30:24
  You're supposed to buy a house? That's a sign of success.
• 30:26
  You don't question it. So I was like, doing all these
• 30:29
  things that, I guess, Society thought I was supposed to do.
• 30:34
  I went to college, I got a job. I climbed the ladder pretty hard
• 30:39
  for like, you know, like 10 or so years.
• 30:41
  And then I'm sitting in a condo that I bought.
• 30:45
  I partially, I guess because I thought I was supposed to have a
• 30:48
  mortgage because that's a sign of success in you know you're
• 30:51
  supposed to Want to have a house, right?
• 30:54
  And all these kind of things. But then eventually, at some
• 30:57
  point I was like, you know, I've climb the career ladder to a
• 31:01
  particular point where I don't really want to keep climbing but
• 31:06
  I never wanted to be like a CEO or C.
• 31:08
  Whatever. I never had those Ambitions.
• 31:10
  I was like, you know, I'll make it to like director level or
• 31:13
  something like that mid-management enough money.
• 31:16
  Not too much responsibility. Not too much stress and then
• 31:19
  just like chillax for a bit and I made it To direct a level and
• 31:23
  then suddenly it was like okay I'm kind of sort of where I want
• 31:26
  to be with my career. I have a house What next?
• 31:32
  And it's just like this big Mt question.
• 31:35
  Mark, That's like staring me right in front of my face.
• 31:39
  It's a little bit. Like, you're on a plane and it's
• 31:42
  an autopilot, but you don't know it.
• 31:44
  You think you're fine too plain. So you think you're in control?
• 31:47
  And he suddenly realized you are not find a plan.
• 31:50
  At all the autopilot is doing it, you have no idea how this
• 31:53
  complicated autopilot system works.
• 31:56
  So really, that's like a little bit the analogy.
• 31:58
  So like I'm stuck on this plane and the autopilot is taking me
• 32:02
  somewhere somewhere, maybe to know where to somewhere.
• 32:06
  I'm in the sky I'm going to Cloud.
• 32:07
  I've no idea where I'm at and I don't know how to get off this
• 32:12
  plane. I don't know how to land it.
• 32:13
  I don't know how to make it. Change course, I need to, like,
• 32:16
  kind of sort of figure it out where I want to go.
• 32:18
  I need to find the plane now. So that's kind of some of the
• 32:20
  analogy that I have and I've done a lot of soul-searching
• 32:26
  quote-unquote. I kind of sort of hate that
• 32:27
  term, but that's what came to mind.
• 32:30
  Done a lot of thinking. Definitely.
• 32:33
  So what is next for me? I don't really know.
• 32:36
  I know what I don't / didn't want to do.
• 32:40
  You know after I quit my job in December for a good while, maybe
• 32:45
  a little bit now. Still I was like if I have to go
• 32:48
  out tonight, if I'm going to kill myself, I just couldn't do
• 32:50
  that. But I've definitely been
• 32:52
  exploring hobbies and kind of other things on the side that I
• 33:00
  Basically neglected when it was really bad in terms of like my
• 33:04
  mind State, you know, like in like for a lot of last year, a
• 33:08
  lot of 2022, I lost the motivation to do like a lot of
• 33:12
  things, even fun things, even things that were like supposed
• 33:16
  to be like just for pleasure and kind of not effort at all.
• 33:20
  And that go into that probably in the future podcasts.
• 33:23
  I've got so many different topics I want to talk about
• 33:25
  which is so good, I'm sorry as podcast but yeah, I don't have
• 33:28
  all the answers. Figured out.
• 33:30
  I don't have all the questions figure it out, even AB some
• 33:34
  questions and they lead to more questions sometimes.
• 33:38
  But yeah, I'm not burnt out anymore, which is great and
• 33:44
  it's, you imagine someone who hasn't been working working for
• 33:48
  six months is probably not that stressed and you'd be right.
• 33:51
  I've been going to the gym, a lot.
• 33:53
  The gym has been like, the one thing that throughout all of
• 33:56
  this besides, like, sleeping eating.
• 34:00
  Eating taking a dump every day. That's like the one thing I've
• 34:03
  been consistently doing without fail.
• 34:05
  All the other Hobbies have fallen to the Wayside but be
• 34:10
  doing like the weightlifting which I've been going to the gym
• 34:13
  and I've been weightlifting ever since Seoul.
• 34:17
  I don't know like ten or so years ago and then I got like
• 34:23
  more seriously into it about like Five or six years ago and
• 34:28
  now, you know, it's like right now I'm going to gym six times a
• 34:31
  week because well, I don't have a day job.
• 34:34
  Yeah, that's in the one thing that I've been consistently
• 34:35
  doing in terms of like a hobby, like an activity without fail
• 34:40
  for, like, the last little bit. But yeah.
• 34:42
  So on the bright side, I do feel like in some way, I'm kind of
• 34:50
  ready to go back to the 9 to 5 because honestly I do have some
• 34:57
  financial goals in mind, and probably the best and easiest
• 35:02
  way to make a substantial amount of money.
• 35:06
  For someone like me and my position is to leverage all the
• 35:10
  technical it skills that I've acquired, all that years of
• 35:14
  experience and make money off of that, which is, like, going back
• 35:17
  to the 95. But I'm not, I'm not a posted a
• 35:21
  95, but it has to be like A good fit for the company.
• 35:27
  A lot of people when they go on to job interviews, I get this
• 35:32
  weird sense like companies expect or candidates to be like
• 35:37
  head over heels in love with every company that they apply
• 35:41
  for and like they have such high but also I'm realistic
• 35:47
  expectations of all the candidates and after employees,
• 35:50
  even one of the things I've learned over the last few years
• 35:53
  is that No company will love you.
• 35:57
  Like you love yourself. Companies are not there to love
• 36:01
  you. Companies.
• 36:02
  For-profit companies are literally only there to make you
• 36:06
  a prophet, you know, Google would not be giving office,
• 36:09
  employees, breakfast, lunch and dinner for free.
• 36:11
  If it wasn't for some good business reason, that's actually
• 36:16
  true. We'll get another podcast.
• 36:18
  I've got so many topics. I want to talk about you guys,
• 36:20
  but that's one things I've learned about is great, too.
• 36:24
  Like the company you work for to feel like the company cares
• 36:29
  about you on some level or to a certain extent but never think
• 36:34
  that a company actually loves you.
• 36:37
  You're at that company primarily for a paycheck.
• 36:41
  Most people are, you know, obviously is much better and,
• 36:45
  you know, makes it tolerable or even enjoyable if you like what
• 36:48
  you're doing definitely but we just had a bunch of tech
• 36:52
  companies, for example, that laid off a whole bunch of
• 36:54
  people. 'Well I still know.
• 36:56
  I still know a lot of people from when I was working at
• 36:59
  Google, that's still work there, but some of them got laid off.
• 37:02
  For example, I have one friend who was on one of these cruises
• 37:07
  with me earlier this year and white before the cruise, he was
• 37:12
  laid off by Google. And honestly, he was one of
• 37:15
  like, the hardest working people, when the smartest
• 37:18
  people, I know he cares so much about the company hear so much
• 37:22
  about Google. He cared so much about His work,
• 37:26
  and he was there like for more than just a paycheck and to be,
• 37:32
  I mean, he says, he doesn't work for Google 5 him.
• 37:34
  I can kind of see this now and I had this conversation with him
• 37:37
  and I don't care what good things about anymore.
• 37:38
  That's a whole other topic. I talked about how I left
• 37:41
  Google, there's no story there, oh my God, I'm not talk about
• 37:43
  it. Anyways, I had told him a few
• 37:47
  different times through the years.
• 37:48
  Like look at what your options are outside of Google because
• 37:52
  your life but not be Google forever.
• 37:55
  And unfortunately, the way it ended is Google fired him and
• 38:00
  you know he's been taking some time to like readjust right you
• 38:03
  know any company you work for for a super long time, he was
• 38:06
  with Google for over 10 years like if you spent over a decade
• 38:11
  with any company especially like a newer company like Google a
• 38:13
  how jarring it is to be fired. It's like so traumatizing.
• 38:18
  So it was like one or two weeks before one of these lenses Cruz
• 38:22
  earlier this year, when Google A big wave of layoffs and he got
• 38:26
  laid off and like I Percy couldn't mm like I couldn't
• 38:29
  believe that the lay them off but anyways I was talking to him
• 38:32
  on the ship a little bit about it.
• 38:33
  But yeah, no company is ever going to love you.
• 38:37
  A company is only employing you for them to make more money.
• 38:43
  You get a paycheck, you got a cut of the profits.
• 38:45
  But you know, at the end of the day, a for-profit company is
• 38:48
  like looking open selves, doesn't mean that they're
• 38:50
  heartless but like, hey, you know, business is business So
• 38:54
  it's not that companies are evil, but I think it helps to
• 38:59
  keep things in perspective, right?
• 39:00
  Don't think that a company is doing giving you all these
• 39:05
  benefits purely out of the goodness of their hearts.
• 39:08
  There's definitely a business angle to pretty much everything
• 39:11
  that a for-profit business does which is like a whole other
• 39:15
  topic. And it was my aim to keep these
• 39:18
  podcast episodes to roughly kind of so like 20 to 30 minutes and
• 39:23
  I'm looking at here now I'm talking for 40 minutes.
• 39:26
  Now, this is the very first episode of the podcast.
• 39:30
  So I just wanted you made it this far.
• 39:33
  Like honestly like give yourself a pat on the back and I
• 39:37
  congratulate yourselves but you just sat through 40 minutes of
• 39:40
  me. It I honestly feel like I am
• 39:42
  rambling and yeah I mean I've got a lot of things I want to
• 39:47
  say and I hope that all of you, please subscribe to the podcast
• 39:50
  as I'm recording this. This is not uploaded so I don't
• 39:54
  even No fully how the subscription for podcast and all
• 39:57
  that kind of stuff work. But subscribe to me everywhere
• 40:00
  that you get your podcast. I do hope to have some guests on
• 40:05
  the podcast every so often for example, he doesn't know it yet
• 40:11
  but for the second or maybe the third episode of this podcast,
• 40:15
  I'm gonna have my friend David be a guest on this podcast.
• 40:20
  A he's at EDC Las Vegas right now having the athlete.
• 40:24
  Time of his life. And I want to get his take on
• 40:28
  ATC and I want to talk on a few topics with him as well as
• 40:33
  though he doesn't know it yet, he's just parting an EDC right
• 40:36
  now, but he's gonna be visiting me and crashing with me for a
• 40:38
  little bit when he comes back from Vegas in a few days and I'm
• 40:42
  gonna have him on, on the podcast.
• 40:44
  There's also some other friends that I want to get on to the
• 40:47
  podcast as well as she have a friend, his name is Steve and he
• 40:52
  and his friend they have a podcast called Call Adam and
• 40:56
  Steve not Adam and Eve. If you search for that.
• 40:59
  You see their podcast come up and I was actually on one of
• 41:04
  their episodes of that podcast. I don't know if they've actually
• 41:07
  put out any more recent episodes for whatever reason.
• 41:11
  But yeah, there is an episode of their podcast.
• 41:14
  I was a guest stuff and you talked about a lot of the
• 41:16
  Atlanta's cruises as well, but yeah.
• 41:20
  Please like And subscribe. Do you like podcasts or just
• 41:23
  subscribe to them, right? So like And subscribe things
• 41:25
  what YouTubers say, it's like please like And subscribe abla.
• 41:30
  I don't know like like it if you want to subscribe if you want to
• 41:34
  one of my friends asked me it just group chatter man, and I
• 41:38
  was so so I'm going to start a podcast and one of them asked
• 41:40
  how's it going to monetize it and this is not for money.
• 41:44
  Even the YouTube stuff is like not for money.
• 41:46
  I'm not some I don't have sponsors.
• 41:48
  I'm not some famous person. I don't get like I don't get
• 41:52
  like a big fat paycheck from YouTube Every.
• 41:54
  Every two weeks or whatever that YouTube channel is technically
• 41:58
  monetized, but I'll get a hundred bucks like every couple
• 42:01
  of months that's like pretty much it doesn't even cover like
• 42:05
  the cost of like the camera equipment that I that I used to
• 42:08
  shoot some of those videos. So for me, this is just
• 42:13
  something I'm doing for myself. This is like, you know, one of
• 42:16
  my new hobbies, I guess one of the most fun things it's just
• 42:20
  buying it shopping for all this equipment because I'm a techie
• 42:24
  but I wanted to do this for fun for myself.
• 42:28
  So, this episode of the past is sponsored by me.
• 42:32
  I'm doing it. I'm, I bought all this equipment
• 42:35
  with my own money. There's no, like company
• 42:38
  sponsor, but hey, if there's a company out there that would
• 42:41
  like to sponsor me. I'm not against it, but I'm
• 42:43
  doing this for fun. I'm doing this for myself.
• 42:45
  I want to kind of get back to where I can have some sort of
• 42:50
  Outlet to talk about any kind of topic that I want.
• 42:54
  We and I did a little bit of that when I was doing the
• 42:56
  quarantine daily Vlog. So, yeah, I was feeling myself,
• 43:00
  like, oh, waiting for like the go.
• 43:02
  She delivered a comment like me, wipe it down.
• 43:04
  My groceries have like alcohol wipes or whatever.
• 43:06
  Are you know the quarantine times back in 2010 over like
• 43:10
  really crazy but in those daily Vlogs I did talk about kind of
• 43:15
  some topics here and there like not related to covet because we
• 43:19
  just have so much time to spare and I was putting other video
• 43:21
  every single day that I should have time to like talk.
• 43:24
  But various different topics and I think this is kind of, so,
• 43:28
  like an extension and I think this could be helpful for me and
• 43:33
  then maybe along the way you guys who find this entertaining.
• 43:37
  So I'm also working also want to work on maybe like an intro and
• 43:40
  outro as well. I've never podcast before you
• 43:42
  can probably tell by that. I'm very good at just rambling
• 43:45
  and talking a lot on, and on and on.
• 43:47
  But yeah, if any of y'all have any ideas for topics, you want
• 43:52
  me to talk about. By the way, I told you guys, I
• 43:55
  was going to gym six days a week.
• 43:57
  I've got a lot of gym related topics.
• 44:00
  I want to talk about, especially about gym etiquette and like,
• 44:04
  all the stuff that goes on at the guns gym in West Hollywood,
• 44:07
  which is the gym that I go too bad, you don't have any feedback
• 44:11
  for me. Definitely leave a line on my
• 44:14
  Instagram or I don't know. Can you comment on podcast on
• 44:18
  like apple podcast on Spotify? Can you leave comments?
• 44:20
  I'm not 100% sure. I'm going to figure this out.
• 44:23
  I hope you all join. Join this journey with me.
• 44:25
  Please like And subscribe and then I hope to put out a new
• 44:28
  episode every single week, but until next time, bye.
• 44:24
  Join this journey with me. Please like And subscribe and
• 44:27
  then I hope to put out a new episode every single week, but
• 44:31
  until next time, bye.