Latest / Finding New Waters / Bogie Bowles on Early Sobriety, Music, and Why “It’s Just Weed” Isn’t True
Transcript
- 0:00The top level potency was like 3% and that was enough to help
- 0:05me wreck my life. And you're doing stuff in the 60
- 0:08to 80, and if you're in dabs, you're doing stuff from the 90%
- 0:12range. It's a whole different
- 0:14psychoactive substance now. It's completely different.
- 0:19All right. Welcome back everybody to
- 0:20another episode of Finding New Waters.
- 0:22My name is Bea Reeves. I'm the Director of Business
- 0:24Development at New Waters Recovery in Raleigh, sitting
- 0:26here with our CEO, Justin McClendon.
- 0:29Very special guest today, Bogey Bowles, who is the Clinical
- 0:33Director at Ascend Recovery in Utah and definitely has a lot of
- 0:37North Carolina connections, which we'll talk about.
- 0:39So welcome, Bogey. Thank you.
- 0:44Yeah, we're so glad to have you. I just give a little bit of my
- 0:47own personal relationship, which is a loose word with Bogey.
- 0:51And like, Justin kind of talked to him about like likelihood
- 0:54they've met somewhere, probably in a professional setting.
- 0:57There's a high likelihood you and I have been at a party or a
- 1:00wedding together, something over the years.
- 1:03I think you're about five years older than me, something like
- 1:06that. And but my mom and your Aunt
- 1:10Holly are very close friends. And my dad and your uncle and
- 1:14my, you know, my, our families are very good friends, put it
- 1:17that way. And I'm friends with your
- 1:18cousins and, and I think this is right.
- 1:22I remember distinctly your band knocked down smiling because I
- 1:27was in late middle school, early high school when they were like
- 1:31a big deal around here and even beyond.
- 1:34And, and I think this is right. And I don't, I, I chose not to
- 1:37ask you this yet, but I do think that you played at my friend's
- 1:42bar mitzvah, which would have been in 1990.
- 1:48Does that track? Not quite.
- 1:54I don't. I mean, we did any gig we could
- 1:56do and I love that. I love that you're pulling out
- 2:00the knock down smiling part because it's like some of my
- 2:03favorite, you know, music from from my history.
- 2:05But we got together in the spring of 91, which was which is
- 2:10actually after I got sober. Kind of the tell and all that.
- 2:14I'm that I'm, I'm misremembering.
- 2:16It's a, it's a the Mandela Effect.
- 2:19I wanted to be true, though. OK, well, so.
- 2:24Yeah. All right.
- 2:24Well, that did not happen. I wonder who that really was.
- 2:28I've always thought that I just. I mean.
- 2:31That's how I remember the deal. If it was 1990, there's a fair
- 2:34chance I may not have remembered it.
- 2:36But I mean, you know, knock, knock down smiling didn't form
- 2:40until 91, so that's probably what we're going to bank on.
- 2:45Yeah. Well, all right, so you, so you
- 2:47this, you were in at Carolina when Knockdown Smile was formed
- 2:51in 91 and you got sober in when you were 18.
- 2:58So a freshman at Carolina. So what, what?
- 2:59How does that tell us about like all that stuff in that era?
- 3:02OK. So I had been using probably for
- 3:07five or six years. So, you know, got it, got an
- 3:10early start out of the gate as as a lot of us did and then
- 3:14still do, you know, from time to time.
- 3:16But I went to, you know, I got, I got shipped off to a boarding
- 3:20school and I had a great experience there and I got an
- 3:23amazing education there. But I also really got like
- 3:26advanced training and how to get away with stuff.
- 3:28And, and so my, my use really escalated there.
- 3:32And by the time I got to college, I was just primed to
- 3:36crash and burn. And so I got to, to Chapel Hill
- 3:41and I was there for about 3 months before I was politely
- 3:44asked to leave. You know, the, the Dean pulled
- 3:48me in his office and, and you know, I'll, I'll never forget
- 3:52it. And the, the reason I'll never
- 3:54forget it is because I had always been able to get away
- 3:58with it. I'd always been able to just
- 4:00pull off one more angle to, you know, one more hook in the rug,
- 4:05right? And he just called it.
- 4:07He goes, no, man. He goes, you know, he said,
- 4:10we've been tracking your attendance and that comes off
- 4:13your grade point average and you could make 1000 on your exams.
- 4:19You're not going to pass. And I went, wait a minute, you
- 4:25know, I just did. My head blew up and, and, and
- 4:29then he looked at me. Excuse me?
- 4:30Then he looked at me and he said, look, I think you have a
- 4:33problem and I think you need to take care of that problem, but
- 4:38you can't do it here. He said, no, if you go home and
- 4:42you take care of that problem, you could do some correspondence
- 4:45courses. I'll let you back in.
- 4:47But you got a problem and you can't stay.
- 4:50And that was the first real hard line consequence I had had in,
- 4:56in maybe even ever as far as that goes.
- 4:58And so, so I went home, you know, with my tail squarely
- 5:03between my legs, You know, I mean, I just kind of thought my
- 5:08life was over. Not, not only had I had I failed
- 5:10out of Carolina, like now I had hosed the family legacy, you
- 5:15know, I mean, like both my sisters went there.
- 5:17My dad went there. I mean, he, he was a false start
- 5:20too, which is kind of funny 'cause the last thing you're
- 5:22ever going to do is be like the old man, you know, So he had a
- 5:27false start and then went to Georgia.
- 5:29He didn't go back to Carolina, but, but, you know, so my
- 5:34grandfather, Holly, my aunt, you know, Martha, I mean, everybody,
- 5:38Erskine, everybody in my family had been there and I was going
- 5:41home. And, and so then I, I met with,
- 5:45with a family doctor. I met with my parents and my
- 5:47dad, you know, kind of called it out.
- 5:49And, and I, I got honest with them, you know, for for the
- 5:52first time really, you know, and, and just said, yeah, that's
- 5:56what's going on. You know, 'cause he asked me if
- 5:59it was alcohol and drugs. I said, yeah, it is.
- 6:02And it was, it was a pivotal moment really in my relationship
- 6:07with him because I had always felt, you know, like we were
- 6:12combatants, you know, and, and, and in this meeting, we were.
- 6:16But the second I copped to, yes, that's what's going on, he
- 6:21really shifted and was like, hey, look, we can get you help.
- 6:24We can figure this out. And, and so we, we, you know,
- 6:28and I was like, whoa, I don't need help, you know, hang on.
- 6:31I, I got a plan. I'll, I'll handle this.
- 6:35But anyway, he had me meet with a, with a family friend that was
- 6:39a doctor, doctor and addiction medicine and George Grimble and
- 6:45I met with him and George really kind of pulled that 12 step
- 6:48thing on me, just like relating to me, talking about his
- 6:53experience, you know, validating stuff I've been through.
- 6:57And, and then he goes, Hey, man, you want to take a ride?
- 6:59And I was like, sure. And he took me on a tour of the
- 7:01rehab that I would eventually go to.
- 7:04And, and I went and I met the, the director of the program
- 7:08there and he did the same thing, just kind of telling me about
- 7:11some of the stuff, you know, the capers he used to pull and all
- 7:13that and getting me comfortable. And then like saying, Hey, man,
- 7:18this, we think you're in the position where you might want to
- 7:20make a change. And I wholly disagreed that I
- 7:25would need any of their help to do that and told George that on
- 7:29the way back he goes, what do you think?
- 7:31I said, well, George, I think that place is wonderful for
- 7:34people that need it. I'm clearly not one of those
- 7:38people. And and George started laughing
- 7:41and and he said, he goes, he goes, what are you going to do,
- 7:45bogey? And I was like, look, I'm going
- 7:46to quit on my own. And you know, I'm, I'll just,
- 7:50I'll, I'll get it together. I, you know, I, I know I can't
- 7:53do it anymore. I've got, I've got a plan.
- 7:55And he goes, oh, OK, because you can't do that.
- 7:57And I'm like, what, who are you? Dude?
- 7:59You don't even know me. I've known you for an hour and a
- 8:01half, you know, and I was like, why don't you think I can do it?
- 8:04And he and he said, bogey, I know you can't do it.
- 8:06And I was like, this guy's coming at me now, you know, this
- 8:10is the hard line of accountability, right?
- 8:12And he goes bogey. I know you can't do it because I
- 8:15couldn't do it. And I'm an alcoholic in recovery
- 8:21and I and all my 18 year old Peston Vinegar said, well,
- 8:25George, I'm sorry to hear that, but I got a plan.
- 8:32So my, my plan was again to, to just stop on my own.
- 8:36But you know, of course I left George's house and went and did
- 8:39what we do when we're emotionally in turmoil, right?
- 8:42I went and got loaded, spent the rest of the afternoon trying to,
- 8:45trying to get, you know, out of those feelings and, and it
- 8:49didn't work, obviously. And then I went home, had a
- 8:53conversation with mom, dad was on the phone.
- 8:55They said, you're going to rehab tomorrow.
- 8:56And I was like, the hell I am. And they're like, no, you are.
- 9:01And then and then my dad said this and it was really, I mean,
- 9:05man, you talk about a a God universe moment, you know,
- 9:11because I talked to my dad about this later on, you know, if he
- 9:14remembered saying this and he didn't, you know, it was just
- 9:17kind of one of those things that's there in the moment.
- 9:19But he said this, he goes, look, Boogie, we think you need to go
- 9:23and Doctor Grimmel thinks you need to go and you know, you
- 9:26need to go. So why don't you just go?
- 9:30And then that third part when he went, you know, you need to go.
- 9:39This thing in me went off and it was so different than anything I
- 9:42had felt before. I'm getting all emotional about
- 9:45it now. I, I mean, I do this from time
- 9:46to time, what I think about it because it was really powerful.
- 9:49Like I didn't have any pushback. I didn't have a real, I don't
- 9:54have any answers. I was out of ideas and he was
- 9:56entirely correct. I did know that I needed to go
- 9:59and it was at that point a thing in my chest, which we all know
- 10:02is the vagus nerve correcting your connecting your head and
- 10:05your heart, right? But it really went off and I
- 10:07just had nothing. And I went, all right, I'll go.
- 10:10And and then he said, OK, it's not going to do you any good to
- 10:13go out and get ape shit tonight. So, you know, just stay at home.
- 10:16And I was like, what, you kidding?
- 10:18If this is my last night, it's going to be epic.
- 10:23So I spent the rest of the night, you know, drinking too
- 10:26much and doing whatever. And then I, I remember, I do
- 10:29remember throwing up behind a dumpster and, and making it home
- 10:32on time. And I know I was home on time
- 10:35because I got home on time and my mom said, oh, you're home on
- 10:39time. And I was like, yeah, remember
- 10:41that. Like what?
- 10:44I need credit for that somehow. I'm going to play that later for
- 10:47all, you know, like, Hey, I can do what's right.
- 10:50Anyway, next day I went, I was in detox for a couple days and
- 10:53then they they put me into into wellspring, which is, I think
- 10:57still their part of the and Med system down in South Carolina.
- 11:00And and I had a real moment in there too.
- 11:03You know, where much that, that they want our thing, you know,
- 11:07where I just really surrendered and it's been different ever
- 11:10since and I've been sober ever since.
- 11:12You know, so I'm, I'm a I'm a one and done from treatment.
- 11:16But, you know, I explained that to, to patients and to parents.
- 11:20That doesn't mean I don't know what relapse is like, because
- 11:23there were plenty of times in my life when I tried to stop on my
- 11:25own and I couldn't. I I I had to have that.
- 11:32I man, I yeah, I've never heard it said exactly like that
- 11:34because for today I'm a one and done from treatment.
- 11:39But you know, I've heard it said, you know, kind of in a
- 11:41joking fashion. I did all my relapse before I
- 11:43got sober, but I, but I definitely know what it's like
- 11:45to try to stop and not be able to stop.
- 11:47So I but I like that one and done from treatment.
- 11:51And I think you said that the the treatment this was 35 years
- 11:55ago. What?
- 11:56How many years ago was it? Yeah, 35 years. 35 that's
- 12:01unbelievable. Yeah, Congrats.
- 12:03That's amazing. And but you did you say it was a
- 12:05two week model. So early 90s, brief treatment
- 12:09was kind of, you know, the thing and I went in on a Wednesday
- 12:13afternoon. So I got to hang out for 2 1/2
- 12:15weeks. Had I gone in on Wednesday
- 12:18morning, it would have just been a week and 1/2.
- 12:20And I'm really glad I had that extra, you know, three days
- 12:24'cause it took three or four days for it to really for me to
- 12:27have that real surrender moment. And that basically what that
- 12:30looked like was I had a a knock on drag out with my counselor,
- 12:35told him, you know, all kinds of things that he could go and do
- 12:40when he told me I couldn't do what I wanted to do.
- 12:42And, and I went and called everybody to come and get me
- 12:45that I could think of and nobody would come.
- 12:48Not, you know, not mom, not anybody.
- 12:50I didn't call dad. I knew how that goes.
- 12:53But but I called mom, you know, she was always the, the weak
- 12:56wink in the chain and and man, mom held the line and I had
- 13:02nothing. And, and then I, I went and I
- 13:06was in the gym pretending to know Kung Fu so that people
- 13:10wouldn't mess with me and, and, and what came to me and I've,
- 13:15I've said this, you know, in in some some podcasts and stuff
- 13:19before, but what came to me in that moment?
- 13:21Like my head was really loud. So y'all know how we get, you
- 13:24know, everything, everything just spinning and, and I had a
- 13:28moment and, and it all stopped and it got really quiet.
- 13:31And then this came to me and it was Bogey.
- 13:35You've been fighting your whole life to live the way you want to
- 13:37live, and it got you here. Everybody here says they want to
- 13:42help you. Why don't you just let them out?
- 13:47And that thing in my chest went off, and I had no answer.
- 13:52And I just went OK, and that was it, man.
- 13:58It's, that's when it really got different, you know, and I, you
- 14:01know, again in the, in the 12 step thing where, you know, you
- 14:03admit the powerless and the unmanageability and then you
- 14:06come to believe and then you make the decision.
- 14:08You know, I kind of look at like that conversation with my dad,
- 14:12you know, is it alcohol and drugs?
- 14:13Yes, it is. There's Step 1, you know, you
- 14:16know, you need to go. There's Step 2 and that, you
- 14:20know, why don't you just let him help you?
- 14:22OK, That was Step 3. And and there I was.
- 14:29Man, I hear you. That's amazing.
- 14:30So did you. How long was it before you were
- 14:33back in Chapel Hill? Yeah, I was thinking the same
- 14:36thing, that the the transition now from sober to I'm going to
- 14:41go back to school and finish my degree and become 18, right.
- 14:44Yeah, well, but also be in a band it's sober in college for,
- 14:48I mean, four more years of it, right?
- 14:50Yeah, well, there's a there's a gap in the old educational part.
- 14:55So and this I actually. I'm familiar with that, but I.
- 14:59Love this because I'm very familiar with that.
- 15:01Early recovery does not mean stability, right?
- 15:05You know, there's all kinds of all kinds of regression in it.
- 15:09There's all kinds of of, you know, just honestly chaos
- 15:14because we don't know from a whole lot else.
- 15:17But so I went home and I was living at home for about 5
- 15:20months and I visited Chapel Hill a couple of times, friends, all
- 15:25friends and went to meetings and, and I was going to like 2
- 15:28meetings a day for about the first three, 3 1/2 years.
- 15:32I went to a couple of meetings a day.
- 15:34My life at the time would allow that.
- 15:36You know, I know that not everybody can do that, but, but
- 15:39that's what I was doing. And, and so with, with five
- 15:43months, I went back up to Chapel Hill.
- 15:45I did summer school for a couple of sessions and then I did, I
- 15:51did fall and spring and then I did the fall again.
- 15:56And then guess what? I was academically ineligible
- 16:02because I didn't have it together, right?
- 16:04My executive functioning was not there, man.
- 16:07I didn't have it. I was still a 19 year old kid,
- 16:10you know? And then so my advisor called me
- 16:13and told me you weren't you, you, your GPA isn't up to where
- 16:16you're eligible to continue. You got to probably go and do
- 16:20night school or all that kind of stuff.
- 16:22And that point, I was like, man, I really just kind of want to be
- 16:25in this band, which was knocked out, smiling and, you know, take
- 16:28over the world with that. So, you know, finding out about
- 16:31the Holy Roman Empire. I don't care.
- 16:33I'm good. And so I left school that, you
- 16:37know what? No, I didn't leave school.
- 16:39I wasn't able to go to school. I mean, be accountable for that.
- 16:42So I just made my peace with it all, like, well, I didn't want
- 16:45to do it anyway. And so I did music for the next
- 16:4820 years. I was in knock down smiling
- 16:51until 97. And then we all felt like that
- 16:55had run its course. I was wanting, you know, to
- 16:58really pursue more of a career than just kind of the, the
- 17:02circuit on the East Coast. And so I moved to LA and what's
- 17:05the LA Music Academy out there got plugged into the recovery
- 17:09community out there too. And that's a great thing about
- 17:11the recovery community. It's everywhere, it's worldwide.
- 17:14So I did that. I was in, I was in that program,
- 17:16finished that program for a year and then they asked me to teach
- 17:20there and I was living in Pasadena and teaching at school
- 17:24and doing gigs around town and it's recording sessions.
- 17:27And then I got the gig with Kenny Lane Shepherd and that was
- 17:31a big, you know, it's my first like tour bus gig.
- 17:34And so I was out with Kenny for a year from the fall of O4 to
- 17:37the fall of O5. And the last two months of that
- 17:42we were open for B.B. King and Joe Bonamassa was the
- 17:46other opening act. So I met Joe there.
- 17:48And then when my tour ended with Kenny was probably home a month
- 17:52or so. And then Joe called and said,
- 17:54hey, do you want to come and fill in for a couple of weeks?
- 17:56My guys taking off for a minute. And I was like, yeah, that'd be
- 17:59great. And so I did that.
- 18:02And then after that, you know, I think it was sometime in
- 18:05January, he called and said, what are you doing in the next
- 18:08couple of months? I was like nothing.
- 18:11And and so he said, well, I'm going to Europe and, you know,
- 18:14loves what we did and you want to come and join.
- 18:16And that turned into five years of work with him.
- 18:19And so that was that was touring the world nine months out of the
- 18:23year for those five years. We did over 1000 shows together.
- 18:26It's like over 200 shows a year. And so, you know, being in
- 18:32recovery, being sober, having my, you know, professional stuff
- 18:36together, but as well as my emotional stuff together, it
- 18:39empowered me to do that gig 'cause trust me, a tour bus is a
- 18:43basic submarine experience. You are in close quarters.
- 18:46I hear of. You, you are in close quarters
- 18:48with, with your peers all day. And if you cannot coexist and
- 18:54not cause problems, you will not last.
- 18:57And that's my recovery allowed me to be at peace with, you
- 18:59know, things that are going on that I might not agree with
- 19:02whatever, but and to enjoy the experience of what I've worked
- 19:06hard for. And, and so I got to do all
- 19:08that, you know, it, it ran its course, you know, with me really
- 19:13in, in just in my life. And I had decided, I think it
- 19:18was probably August of, of 2010 that I wanted to, to get off the
- 19:23road and, you know, do do other things.
- 19:26And this was one of them. That was like, you know, what
- 19:28guy I knew that I, I, I'd finally gotten in touch with the
- 19:31fact that I want a family. And so I want to do that.
- 19:33And it was like, well, what can I do that's fulfilling still?
- 19:37And, you know, I can, I could feel good about what I'm doing.
- 19:40And I'd always been a fan of therapy as a patient.
- 19:45And and so I was like, you know, the service part of my recovery
- 19:48had been missing while I was on the road.
- 19:50Like I could go to meetings and I could work the steps, but I
- 19:54couldn't sit down with anybody, you know, and really like, help
- 19:57them one-on-one. And and I was missing that.
- 19:59And I and I felt that void and, and I said, OK, you know, that's
- 20:03this, this will work. And so talk to my good friends,
- 20:07Harold Owens. Harold at the time was part of
- 20:12music airs and, and we just talked about like, you know
- 20:16what, what are the pathways to this food?
- 20:19And Harold helped me kind of like plotted out and and so
- 20:21that's what we did and had an offer to move to Salt Lake.
- 20:24My girlfriend at the time, who's not my wife and and we have our
- 20:27kids together. She was living here and had an
- 20:32offer to come up and do some studio stuff here and then also
- 20:35go to work at Cirque Lodge with Gary Fisher and the gang at the
- 20:39time, Bev Rush and all them. And so the universe just went
- 20:43yes and here you go And then that's that's when I moved here
- 20:48and was here for a few years and then chipping away at that
- 20:51degree. I went back to school right at
- 20:5338. I was, you know, you know, the
- 20:55the Rodney Dangerfield, the pros, the world's oldest living
- 20:58freshman, and. Great.
- 21:03Film Yeah. So so did that and and and then
- 21:06got into got into the University of Utah, their grad school.
- 21:11I was finishing up there for undergrad and got into their
- 21:13grad school and I went, man, I wonder if I could get into
- 21:17Carolina. You know, I left there on now
- 21:20the greatest terms. It's one of the top five social
- 21:22work schools. That would be really cool.
- 21:25So I applied and then the universe said, hey, kid, come
- 21:28make it right. And so 20 years later, I went
- 21:31back to Chapel Hill and got my master's day.
- 21:35That is. Awesome.
- 21:36Yeah, yeah. Super, super cool.
- 21:39And so you get your masters and then you did work here locally
- 21:43to us at least at Duke, right? Yep.
- 21:47As as as part of that, yeah. As part of that, while you're
- 21:50while you're getting your masters, OK.
- 21:52And then now you're, you're been in a sin since 18, right?
- 21:56Yeah, yeah. End of 18, early 2019.
- 21:58Yeah. OK, cool.
- 22:01Yeah. Nice man.
- 22:02Well, we Gary is a former guest on the podcast and a good friend
- 22:08of mine. I see him all over the place.
- 22:11Very lucky to know him. You know, he famously says when
- 22:14we're out in some beautiful location, playing golf or
- 22:16otherwise, boys, look what we drank ourselves into.
- 22:22That's so Gary. It's true, right?
- 22:24It's true. Well, I mean, so are you able
- 22:27to, to, I mean, what is your, the, the music piece of your
- 22:31life now, the recovery piece of your life and your professional
- 22:35life? How are they intertwined at the
- 22:36moment? I get to do music assisted
- 22:40therapy here, which is really fun.
- 22:42That's awesome. We've got a studio, you know,
- 22:45drums, guitars, you know, all kinds of stuff in there and what
- 22:50I and we do a a weekly music group.
- 22:53But what I love to do in those groups, it gives you a different
- 22:55access points to people's anxiety and inner critic, right?
- 23:00You know, you, you get somebody learning something different
- 23:02that they've never done before. You just watch it come up and
- 23:06all that. It's like, all right, let's talk
- 23:08about what's going on. And so that's what I do every
- 23:11week, you know, I try to get them into a different
- 23:13experience. And, and the other part, I mean,
- 23:15ascend is a very relationship, you know, attachment based
- 23:19model, OK. And so to do that one-on-one in
- 23:23a session is great and you know your therapist is a safe place
- 23:26and all that stuff, But to do it in front of your peers is a
- 23:29different experience. And to watch your peers not only
- 23:32show up for you, but have that same experience is a really,
- 23:36really fun thing to witness because they really do show up
- 23:40for each other. The encouragement is there and
- 23:41then they relate. It's like, man, if I was up
- 23:43there doing that and I'm like, well, you're next.
- 23:46But you know, I, I, I get them behind the drums, I might give
- 23:49them guitar. And the fun thing about it for
- 23:50me is I don't know how to play guitar.
- 23:52I don't know anything about that.
- 23:53Like I can play chords on a piano, but I'll have to sit
- 23:57there and in front of them, figure out something on guitar
- 23:59or bass and then hand it to them and be like, all right, so try
- 24:02that, you know? And so there's a process of, you
- 24:06know, openness and, you know, discovery to it that really kind
- 24:10of enriches the experience. But once you get access to that
- 24:14inner critic, I mean, that's a real driving force of the
- 24:17addiction and, and the mental health drugs cause those are
- 24:20the, those are the messages we tell ourselves all the time.
- 24:23And when we could, when we could figure out how to show up for
- 24:27ourselves more compassionately, we're going to show up for our
- 24:30relationships differently, too. When you say you being somebody
- 24:37who got sober at 18 and then you travel the world while you know
- 24:42as a musician and keeping your recovery, you know, staying
- 24:44close to the program, even if you weren't, you know,
- 24:47constantly around other the the fellowship other than going to
- 24:50meetings in city to city and then now working in the field
- 24:53and you're with a lot of young adults.
- 24:55What do you what, what do you see is some obvious and maybe
- 24:59some not so obvious differences in what you're what people are
- 25:02kind of in treatment for versus, you know, when you were in the
- 25:05treatment in the 90s at 18 versus now in 2026?
- 25:08Man, it is vastly different now. I mean, let's talk cannabis
- 25:15induce psychosis, right? I mean, that's a whole other
- 25:19planet. And I, and I tell them this, you
- 25:22know, I'm like, what? When I was doing that stuff, the
- 25:25top, the top level potency was like 3% and that was enough to
- 25:32help me wreck my life. And you're doing stuff in the 60
- 25:36to 80 and if you're in dabs, you're doing stuff in the 90%
- 25:39range. It's a whole different
- 25:41psychoactive substance now. It's completely different.
- 25:45And the psychosis, I mean, I've had people here that did not
- 25:51really land OK for months now. That's a very different place
- 25:59than when I was gone from right. And so I, I see a real need for
- 26:05longer term stuff for the stabilization part, for the
- 26:08helping them land and, and figuring that out.
- 26:10And also, I mean, you know, unfortunately sometimes people
- 26:14don't land after that. You open doors that won't close
- 26:19and you know you're going to need to find out how long it
- 26:22might take and if they don't, OK, now what kind of structure
- 26:26and support you need. And the brief treatment model in
- 26:28the 90s would never give you that because there's not enough
- 26:31time. You know, the other thing it
- 26:33doesn't give you is there's not enough time to build
- 26:35relationship and trust and do real in depth work.
- 26:39You know, my recovery got so much deeper when I got with a
- 26:45great therapist in LA and she took me further down, you know,
- 26:50used all the tools that I had. You know, I was seven years
- 26:53sober, almost almost eight years sober when I started seeing
- 26:57Donna and she was able to take all of that stuff that we
- 27:01learned, you know, rigorous honesty, self reflection, you
- 27:04know, all of that and really use it to our advantage.
- 27:09You know, so I, I'd really heavily inspired by her and,
- 27:14and, and try to model that with the people here.
- 27:17Like, OK, because, because most people don't get to ascend as
- 27:20their first stop. You know, they've, they've had a
- 27:23few false stars in treatment and some of them have even maybe
- 27:27even had some time in recovery. And, and I'm like, OK, well,
- 27:29let's, let's work with the strengths that are there.
- 27:31Let's use what you got and, and see where we can take this.
- 27:35But the, the difference now, I would really say that what we're
- 27:38seeing, I mean, five years ago it was really more of the opiate
- 27:41piece that was so prominent and not that that's not still an
- 27:45issue, it certainly is. But what's walking through our
- 27:48doors has been more of that psychosis stuff.
- 27:51But now I would say the, the last, the last two to three
- 27:55years, it's been more of that cannabis piece.
- 27:58I'd say the last year or so we're seeing much more mental
- 28:03health, like prominent, you know, like kind of self
- 28:06medicating use to deal with the mental health components and a
- 28:11real lack of resiliency because of, you know, everything that
- 28:15they haven't had to endure or explore to gain their access to
- 28:19their strengths. And, and so we're really working
- 28:23hard with executive functioning, helping them start to, you know,
- 28:28once, once we do the inner work, once we really get in like we
- 28:30have a lot of trauma to. And, and so once we really, you
- 28:34know, get into that and, and start helping you feel some
- 28:36relief there, it's like, OK, we, we've got a foundation now we
- 28:40got to work on how do we walk out of here and execute?
- 28:43And that's the, what we do in Phase 2 is focus on the
- 28:46executive functioning, you know, life skills, maintaining a lot
- 28:50of that relationship connection that you've built in phase one
- 28:53in residential to prepare you for what is for us phase three,
- 28:57which is several of the IOP. And like you're going back to
- 29:01work, you're doing all of the things that a regular life has
- 29:03and you're going to be able to find fulfilment there.
- 29:07And, and, and so you know, the, the patients have responded
- 29:10well. But the, the main thing I would
- 29:12say again over the last year or so, it's been that that struggle
- 29:16to integrate and find your own strengths and, and really feel
- 29:20resilient and be able to kind of weather the storms like we're
- 29:23talking about earlier, you know, the regressions that happen in
- 29:26early recovery. Absolutely.
- 29:32And you how long are the clients out there, patients out there?
- 29:38I mean. Much like the average.
- 29:39Yeah, I hit them pretty hard with like, look, this is not a
- 29:43day count, right? And I don't care what your
- 29:46insurance says. I don't care what it covers.
- 29:49That's not my game. You know, what's going to move
- 29:52you is actual clinical readings. When you're ready, I'm going to,
- 29:55I'm going to move you on. If you're not, I wouldn't be in
- 29:59my clinical integrity to set you up to fail.
- 30:02That's horrible, you know? So 30 days and goodbye.
- 30:05No, I'm not doing that. Typically though, it residential
- 30:1060 days ish somewhere around there.
- 30:13And then phase two, phase two, PHP 30 to 45 ish.
- 30:18You know, we've had people in in phase two for, you know, two to
- 30:22three months. Again, just depending on like
- 30:24how long it takes them to really kind of grab on to their own
- 30:27strengths and be able to execute that stuff and, and, and
- 30:30maintain all of that and, and endure the regression.
- 30:34So anyway, typically 3045 days, maybe 60.
- 30:38And then we look for a A2 to three month commitment at
- 30:41several learning. So you can, you can do the whole
- 30:44thing in probably 5 to 6 months, but most people end up staying
- 30:49probably 6 to 9. That's great.
- 30:54That's awesome. Yeah.
- 30:55I mean that, that, that go ahead well.
- 30:57I was going to say, and what's the typical demographic?
- 30:59Does it skew young or do you see kind of a a wide span of ages?
- 31:04Yeah, I mean, we, it, we're, we take 18 and up.
- 31:06I mean, you know what we're not is, hey, you're a professional
- 31:10in your mid 40s with a solid career and you hit a bump in the
- 31:13road. We're that probably wouldn't do
- 31:15so well here. We've had a few of those and
- 31:18we've been able to do good work. And, and it's because they were
- 31:21open to it, you know, but typically it's kind of that
- 31:25early 20s to like maybe early 30s ish.
- 31:28You know, we've got a guy here right now who's 38 and, and is
- 31:32doing fine. He's in Phase 2 now and, and all
- 31:34that. And again, cannabis induced
- 31:37psychosis and it really set him back.
- 31:39So he needed the stabilization a lot.
- 31:42But yeah, usually it's early 20s.
- 31:43Somewhere in there you know to to late 20s, early 30s.
- 31:50Something we talk about on this podcast a lot and in general,
- 31:55and I just kind of want to hear your thoughts.
- 31:57I can imagine what they are, I think.
- 31:59But you know, we are a little bit older than me, but when I
- 32:03was in high school in the 90s, this 3% weed you're talking
- 32:07about was almost harmless, even though, you know, it definitely
- 32:11didn't help me with my life and contributed to my demise.
- 32:15But it was still basically like made you tired, made you hungry,
- 32:18made you laugh, sends stems and seeds, whatever.
- 32:24But I remember. But The thing is, but starting
- 32:27in the 60s or maybe even before there's, you know, with peace
- 32:32and love free, you know, the summer of love, like around that
- 32:34time, there's this kind of movement to legalize it, you
- 32:37know, And so that product and that that drug was the one that
- 32:45they were trying to make legal with, you know, good intentions,
- 32:48let's say. The momentum kept going while
- 32:52the product became a completely different thing.
- 32:54And even though it's not legal everywhere, it's legal a lot of
- 32:58places and it's basically accepted everywhere and
- 33:01decriminalized in most other places.
- 33:04So all that time while it's getting, you know, the
- 33:06reputation is becoming less stigmatized and it, it's
- 33:11basically fine, if not legal, it's becoming a completely
- 33:13different thing. And so the culture, it's like,
- 33:16oh, but it's, it's fine. It's fine.
- 33:19And it's just wrecking people. I guess peek behind the curtain
- 33:25and you know, we're seeing the same stuff you're saying bogey
- 33:28is. Well, yeah, I'm supposed to say
- 33:29it's not fine. I mean, there's there, you're
- 33:31opening doors you can't close or closing doors you can't open or
- 33:34whatever. You just said that that was not
- 33:36the case. No.
- 33:37In 1994. Right.
- 33:38No, not even. And and you said it well.
- 33:41We're we're. Go ahead.
- 33:44Go ahead, Bogey. No, No.
- 33:46No, go ahead. I, I was, you know, you said it
- 33:47well, it's like the movement was around, you know, one type of
- 33:52substance, you know, the, the hippie lettuce.
- 33:56It was about that, right? It was not about this
- 33:59psychoactive thing. But like then then it became an
- 34:02industry and like, dude, it's it's a whole other world.
- 34:07Yeah, it's out of control and it's really detrimental.
- 34:11And and that's The thing is, unfortunately, I think we still
- 34:14have this lingering, you know, attitude that, you know, it's
- 34:18fine, it's harmless, it's not that bad and it's, it's really
- 34:21is not. And then, you know, and then
- 34:22that's the the legal stuff, right?
- 34:24That's the actual cannabis. And then, you know, we won't go
- 34:26too far down that rabbit hole. But all this Delta THCA products
- 34:31that are not bad, and they're really just like this chemical
- 34:35that is completely unregulated and like, you know, God, it's
- 34:38just, it is. It is.
- 34:40It's bad. It's real bad, Yeah.
- 34:43Well, it's kind of like the, you know, when it's the, it seems to
- 34:47be having the effects of these sort of urban legend horror
- 34:50stories. We used to hear about a guy who,
- 34:52you know, had a, you know, a sheet of acid in his pocket and
- 34:55got caught in the rain and he turned into a blueberry muffin
- 34:59and that was it. And now and, and now that's
- 35:03happening on a regular basis, you know, slowly where people
- 35:07and, you know, parents not blaming them, but they just are
- 35:10like, oh, it's just weed. You know, when I was in college,
- 35:12it was just, you know, but it's not.
- 35:14It's turning these people into blueberry muffins.
- 35:16And that's slowly, sometimes quickly.
- 35:18That's the lack of education that, you know, our generation
- 35:22has. We have one connotation with
- 35:25what it is and, and we're we're quite comfortable there, right?
- 35:29You know, it's good to know what you know, it feels good, right?
- 35:32And to challenge that requires a degree of openness that not
- 35:36everybody in the world has. And if your kids doing it,
- 35:39there's a real fear of like that could go wrong.
- 35:42And man, it's real easy to lean into like, oh, but it's OK
- 35:45because, you know, I know what it is.
- 35:47There's a comfort zone there. You're not, you're not inclined
- 35:50to challenge that and be honest because of how scary it really
- 35:53can be. Absolutely.
- 35:57And don't, you know, don't want to admit we were wrong.
- 36:00I mean, that's hard for people, including me sometimes.
- 36:04But yeah, I mean. It's real.
- 36:05Scourge, I mean it really, it really is.
- 36:07Yeah. Yeah.
- 36:08Well, don't speak for me, but yeah, we're, we're seeing it a
- 36:12lot too. So we're, you know, we're seeing
- 36:13it and it's mostly younger people, but you know, I had a
- 36:16friend I grew up with who was now 50, who or will be this
- 36:20summer, who, you know, it came to us and it was, he just
- 36:23basically completely scrambled his brain from, from, from THC.
- 36:29And it's not limited to these kids who don't know any better.
- 36:32You know, it's, it's crazy. I've, I've had people here with,
- 36:36with law degrees, OK, yeah, incredibly smart people that
- 36:42took high concentrates and are not the same person they were,
- 36:51you know. We had AI had we had a guy who's
- 36:53a friend of mine in the field and he is recovery guy, but
- 36:59where he's a clinical interventionist and a therapist.
- 37:01And he was said, you know, I mean, I, I basically smoked
- 37:03crack every day for five years and I'm fine, you know, you
- 37:09know, but people who smoke dabs and D9 every day for five years,
- 37:14they're not fine. They're not and they're, they're
- 37:16likely not coming back. And that's, that's what that's
- 37:18the thing. It's like the parents, you'd
- 37:21find out their kids smoking crack, they're like, Oh my God.
- 37:23And rightfully so. But when they find out they're
- 37:25just constantly smoking this other stuff, they're like, it's
- 37:27just a kid. It's just the stuff they sell at
- 37:28the store or it's just weeds and it and it's just, it's I, I just
- 37:32I. It's frustrating and sad.
- 37:35And I mean, again, back to we're comfortable in what we know.
- 37:39We know crack was the devil, right?
- 37:41That's what we grew up with. The message was very clear.
- 37:44So of course, it scares the hell out of us, you know, and we were
- 37:48safer. So it doesn't scare us as much.
- 37:51Yeah. Well, go ahead.
- 37:54Now I was just going to say there's so many thoughts that
- 37:56come up with that. The first one is I think we all
- 37:58know like the Reefer madness thing.
- 37:59And I think it was like this desensitization to, you know,
- 38:03it's like, oh, it's so scary and everybody's like, it's not
- 38:06scary, it's fine. And then that just stuck.
- 38:08And now it's like we're back to saying like, hey guys, this is
- 38:11scary. And everybody's just.
- 38:12Like, you know, it's like it's just boy who cried wolf.
- 38:15Yeah. And that's, that's so perfect
- 38:17because, you know, be your right.
- 38:20And you mentioned this, it's like we were told the horror
- 38:22stories of like, you know, if you smoke weed, you get to jump
- 38:26off the bridge, you know, and all that kind of stuff.
- 38:28And you know, I don't know about y'all, but nobody in my sphere
- 38:32did. And so I saw my buddy doing that
- 38:36stuff and he was look like he's having a pretty good time and
- 38:40like real, no real danger there. And so I'm like, all right,
- 38:44well, the messages I'm getting are really bullshit.
- 38:47You know, he's, these people are lying to me.
- 38:50Yeah. And, And so I'm going to go and
- 38:52do this stuff and figure it out. And, and now that's not a Horror
- 38:56Story. That is a very, very significant
- 38:59piece of reality. Totally.
- 39:02And there there's a, there's a movie I remember seeing, I think
- 39:04it's called Desperate Lives. Helen Hunt is in it.
- 39:07Before she was famous, it was like almost like an after school
- 39:10and somebody does smoke weed and like jumps off a building and
- 39:13commits suicide during school and we're all like, oh, that's
- 39:16ridiculous. But that's the thing.
- 39:18It's like that It was almost they were ahead of their time.
- 39:20You know, interesting. Yeah.
- 39:24Well, hey man, we're we're kind of up against it here.
- 39:27I just, I mean, this has been awesome.
- 39:32And and while, while we still have a few minutes, I mean,
- 39:35just, you know, we've talked about ascend and I mean, we
- 39:38always ask people, you know, how do they find you?
- 39:41How do they find Ascend? I mean, so Cam, Cam Cameron can
- 39:48is, is our admissions director and and he's he's, he's a go to.
- 39:52I know that y'all y'all know each other for a long time.
- 39:55Absolutely. Yeah, he's my buddy.
- 39:57Yeah. I told him that you were going
- 39:58to be on. He was like, no way.
- 39:59Should have told me that so he's he's the go to.
- 40:03We have a website that'll connect you to him all that kind
- 40:05of stuff. But most of the time it's.
- 40:08It's interventionist, it's AD consultant that, you know, it's
- 40:11reference that that bring us people that we have
- 40:13relationships with. You know, they know us, they
- 40:15know our work and, and all of that.
- 40:17And they've, you know, come out and met the team and, and seen
- 40:20the place and, and all that. They understand what our
- 40:23capacity is, you know, to handle really complex cases and, you
- 40:26know, mental health and trauma and substance abuse and all of
- 40:29that together. And so they they know us and
- 40:31they trust us, and they send us people that they're entrusted to
- 40:34care for. Love it.
- 40:38Very good. Awesome.
- 40:40Well, hey man, thank you so much for being here.
- 40:42It's great to maybe meet you for the first time.
- 40:46Apologies for the misremembering of the knock on smiling Bar
- 40:49Mitzvah show. I'm going to my first order of
- 40:51business when I leave here is to call my friend's mom and find
- 40:54out who who that really was. And man, this is just awesome.
- 40:59And it's been great to reconnect with you even though we just you
- 41:02know, and Holly's going to be so excited about this.
- 41:04I promised my mom I would tell her after we recorded in case
- 41:07this didn't happen for some reason.
- 41:08So. Well she she shot me attacks.
- 41:10She found out that I was going to be honest, she did so.
- 41:13So she shot me a text. Nice.
- 41:16Well, you know, and I love her so much and she has been, she
- 41:21was when I first got sober and like, I mean, I think she called
- 41:24me the day I got home from treatment.
- 41:25And she has always been so supportive of me and my recovery
- 41:28and just just so just in my corner.
- 41:32And I thank her so much for that.
- 41:34I'm doing it right here publicly in front of her nephew.
- 41:37So thank you again for being here.
- 41:39And I look forward to seeing you in real life soon, hopefully out
- 41:41in Utah. Absolutely my friend.
- 41:42Thank you all so much for having me an honor.
- 41:44Yeah, buddy. Thank you.
- 41:45Buggy. Thank you, buddy.
- 41:47All right, see you, Buggy. If you liked what you heard
- 41:49today or just want to know more, give us a call on 9196708119 or
- 41:55visit us at newwatersrecovery.com.