Latest / Harder Than Life / 151: Wake Up, Tell the Truth & Reclaim Your Power with Garrett J. White

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151: Wake Up, Tell the Truth & Reclaim Your Power with Garrett J. White · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:23
  Welcome back to the Heart of Life podcast. Today's guest, Garrett J. White, is a high-performance coach, entrepreneur, and founder of the Wake Up Warrior Movement, a revolutionary platform that has helped over 65,000 men transform their lives by aligning their body, being, balance, and business. After losing everything during the 2008 crash, Garrett rebuilt himself from the ground up, physically, spiritually, and financially, and emerged with a new identity,
• 0:51
  Garrett J. White, a man who lives in his truth and leads men to reclaim their power through faith, discipline, and raw authenticity. Today, we're going to talk about the Warrior Book and the Man in the Arena Tour on May 17th in Salt Lake City. Come on! Come on. Welcome, my brother. I am extremely fired up because as I watch your content, and we were recently introduced, I said, there are others like me.
• 1:21
  Why are we so extreme? Yeah. Well, I think you have the choice of extreme, which is you have men who live extremely shitty lives, and then you have men who live extremely empowering lives, and both men are living extremes. You have extreme obesity, and you have extreme fitness. Yeah.
• 1:39
  And there are crazies like you and I, and I'm finding more and more who have been touched by God to stand up as a voice box and a messenger and a beacon to show men a different way, a better way.
• 1:54
  I look at you and you're about a year younger than me. And I think, wow, we both have a full head of hair. That's right. Ripped. Big. And we tried to do this in person and just our schedules are insane. And I had to get this out. But us together are going to be a problem. And I can't wait. And I told you.
• 2:12
  We're going to be friends for a long time. I'm going to come to Miami and cause all kinds of havoc with you. But let's talk about this warrior book. Thank you for sending it to me. I put a post up today about it. I read this book in about three days. I have so much to talk about and we have to share with the men of the world. But so tell me about the evolution of the warrior book and why the second edition was so much more necessary. Yeah.
• 2:35
  So again, I back up. I wasn't trying to lead men. I wasn't trying to lead a movement. I wasn't trying to inspire 26 other men to choose to lead movements with tens of thousands of men. That was not the origin of Genesis of it all. I had an unworkable life.
• 2:54
  Like I was, I'd only made money before in mortgages. I was in mortgage and insurance from 2000, 2008. Prior to that, I was a PE teacher. They called it pedagogist. It's like calling a garbage man, a sanitation engineer. I tried to make a PE teacher sound cool. I was like, I just did PE because I like to lift weights and I wanted to, I was going to play it in the league or I was going to coach football the rest of my life. So once I lost money, I don't know if this has been for you, Kelly, when I hit the first path of making money, I made it one way.
• 3:20
  And then when I lost everything, my brain couldn't compute that you could make money any other way than the one way I had made money for eight years.
• 3:28
  So it was just like stressful. And I'm sitting there with having lost the income that I had made, lost the companies, a hundred employees now gone, millions of dollars upside down, personally, professionally, in a hole. And my whole marriage life was exposed. My wife is young. She was in her late twenties, second baby along the way. She was pregnant. I lose her money, affair, drugs, face down, lost.
• 3:53
  And that place was where it started. I couldn't see a movement. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't see myself. Had no idea what to do. And I meet men like this every single day. Men who have good things and men who have not so good things happening and they're lost. It's actually our highest converting ad right now online. It's not about having sex, more sex. It's not about having more money. It's actually about being lost, lonely, confused, scared.
• 4:20
  And these aren't like, dude, these are not just like, like weak ass Bobby Bud Light dudes on the street. These are like very good men who are just confused. I mean, you see it today. Like you, you're preaching from this, from the rooftops about this. And we keep talking about my story as we go. But like, what are you witnessing just day to day with guys that you're meeting? Like just dudes you run into day to day. Even guys who have the physical part of themselves figured out, but the rest of life isn't working.
• 4:44
  Well, the people that I'm running into are just abandoning themselves. That's what I'm seeing a lot of abandonment and they don't even realize it. So they're choosing everything else but themselves. And they don't even realize it. That's the big thing I'm seeing a ton of. Really killer assassin dudes that are big businessmen, ripped and in shape. And to keep the family together, they're just abandoning themselves. And it's sad. I wasn't trained to actually put myself first weird enough.
• 5:13
  I mean, when I went and made my first round of money in the first eight years, I put myself first in a different way. I was just a whore for money. Like, I put myself so first, I forgot I was married. I forgot I had kids. I forgot I had anything going on in my life except for working six days a week, 18 hours a day. I was making more money than I could spend because I never had any time to spend it. I just went to sleep, came up, and worked again. So as I started to make a shift for me and what we saw in the beginning was the foundational problem that I faced was I lied about everything.
• 5:43
  I just lied. And no one, even when somebody calls you a liar, and I'm like, no, I'm not. And this was the truth. The truth was I couldn't tell the truth about where I was and I couldn't tell the truth about what I really wanted.
• 5:56
  Couldn't say it to my wife. Couldn't say it to my teams. Couldn't say it to. It was so bad to the point that I'd gotten into ultra running after I had lost everything from 2009, 10, 11. And I'm running 25, 30 miles. Like I was 175 pounds. I'm like 230 right now. Very different body at the time.
• 6:13
  And I'm running through the mountains, training every day. And if I ran 32 miles and Kelly, you and I were going to hang out and have coffee afterwards. You're like, so how was your training run today? And you might have no perception running 32 miles as a warm up in the morning. And I could not feel good enough about saying 32. So no matter what I did, it was never enough. And so I would lie about what I'd done. I would tell you I ran 34 miles.
• 6:34
  I can make $800,000 this week, take home cash, and it wasn't enough. So then I would tell you it was 1.1. Or it just didn't matter. It was like I was perpetually trained that no matter what I f***ing did, it was never going to be enough. So everything you're doing is never enough. And inside of never being enough, just tell people lies. Did you grow up in Utah? Yep, I did not grow up in Utah. My wife did. I did grow up Mormon. Okay, that was where I was going. Because I'm wondering, where in your childhood did that, did your never-enough-ism happen?
• 7:02
  get groundworked. The entire culture of Mormonism
• 7:07
  Like everything, everyone I knew. My mom was Catholic, very disciplined. And then she became Mormon. She's very disciplined. My dad was generational Mormon. I'm not against Mormonism. People think I'm an anti-Mormon. I'm not. I'm just telling you, the culture of Mormonism breeds a very interesting dilemma. Because there's this thought process that you are superior to everyone. And you're taught this from the time you were a kid. Oh, you are blessed. You are the best. God loves you the most. You were born in the Mormon church, the only true church that exists on the planet. And so you have this superiority complex.
• 7:35
  Number one. Number two, it's the second part of this, which is we are here to be perfect as God is perfect. And inside of it, here's a long ass checklist, the thing you need to do in order to live that perfect lifestyle. And no matter what you do, you're going to up. And then when you up, you're going to feel guilty and shamed and you're going to be blamed. Sex, intimacy. If you drank coffee, you were a horrible human being. If you had a beer, you were a horrible human being. Now you can eat like a ton of bulls.
• 8:02
  food and be fat as f***ing diabetic in the Mormon culture and no one had a problem with it. So I just was perpetually under this pressure of I'm better, but knowing I wasn't. I'm better than everyone, but knowing looking in the mirror, I'm not. I'm not f***ing better than everybody. Like my life doesn't work. So from the time I was young, I was raised with this thought. Constant guilt, constant shame, shame over my sexuality, shame over even having a sex drive.
• 8:29
  I was raised in a culture that if people, if your husband looked at porn and masturbated, that was a justifiable cause for a divorce. One of my sisters divorced a guy because of that. I was like, that's like 99.9999% of every man that's ever walked the planet has looked at porn and masturbated. I mean, think about this. Every dude that you meet and shake their hand, we know one thing is true. That guy is jerked off with that hand.
• 8:56
  I tell people to think that when they meet their pastors, I'm like, just think of this. Your pastor sometime in the last month was rubbing himself with his hand. And now you just shook it. We just went there. Oh, you're a stitch dude. So what I'm running into, I've never had any of that. Uh,
• 9:14
  You'll fear my whole life. I grew up. I was in fear. So I've used up all my fear. What I run into is I just feel like I am. I temper down who I am not to fit in, but just not to scare people away because that's why I resonate with you. Like.
• 9:31
  You're even more extreme than me. 2.30 in the morning. I'm a 4 o'clock in the morning guy. My daughter's everything. We're very similar, but I've just scaled back just a bit. But I see myself walking in the rooms, bringing my energy down, not because I'm trying to fit in. I don't care. It's none of my business, what you think. But what I'm trying to do is trying to bring more people into this utopian world that I live in and the people around me are in.
• 9:56
  which is I took off this weekend and ran to my Florida house and sat with a piece of paper and a pen and just did your exercise with who am I and what do I want? And I got pages of notes. That's in your book. We're going to talk about that. A couple of quotes that stuck out for me. For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but a power and love and discipline.
• 10:22
  You said align yourself with divine purpose, refusing to accept numbness and mediocrity. You have a phase two of taking a knee in two parts, owning the truth of your current situation and accepting the vision of what God is calling you to become. Why do you believe men are spiritually and sexually bankrupt? We lie.
• 10:40
  Right. I mean, look at this from the foundational place. If the process I found for myself was the stage one is a wake up. This means that you have some kind of a shift in thinking. In Timothy, we see this as a conversation of renewing of the mind. The mind is seeing the game a certain way. God's trying to get into us. God is in us in the kingdom, but we're translating everything we're hearing from spirit, everything we're hearing from God through our stories on our mind.
• 11:02
  This holds us back. It either tells us we're going to move forward. It tells us we're not going to go somewhere. It says, I will do this or I won't do this. And all of those are just self-generated and created. Most of them given to us by our parents, given to us by life, which is why I believe Abraham, when he was going on his purpose with God, was told three specific things. Leave your country.
• 11:20
  leave your family, leave your father's house. Before his journey even began, he's like, Abraham, you can get the f*** out of where you're living. Number two, you got to let go of these stories you have about life and your family. And three, you're going to have to burn the traditions of your parents to the ground. If you'll do those three things, leave where you are currently at, let go of your narratives and stories of your spouse, your children, your family, and then let go of the patterns and routines of your parents.
• 11:46
  which was fundamentally required for me. So when you wake up to this shift, though, you see something different. We either have to have some kind of impact. Something occurs to us. Wife files for divorce. Wife's cheating. We lose money. Our kids are all of a sudden traumatized or teenager starts cutting herself. There's just things that occur that men will react to when they get attacked. Something happens. Now, all of a sudden, I wake up.
• 12:10
  Right, dude's overweight, doesn't want to change his lifestyle Doctor says if you don't lose 100 pounds You're going to be dead within the year Miracles happen, this guy all of a sudden drops 100 pounds But the second one is the hardest Which is the second stage of that is Can I take a knee to what I've been awakened to? Now your wife gives you hard feedback You don't like what she's saying
• 12:33
  You know, two and a half years ago, my wife came to me and she said, look me right in the eyes, beautiful home, $24 million home in California, Dana Point on the beach, cars in the garage I've always wanted, kids are great. I think we're doing great. I'm the leader wake up warrior. I'm launching the man in the arena tour. But there's always levels to growing. My wife, beautiful, bikini competitor, birthed four children, pregnant six times. She's amazing. And she comes up and puts her hand on my chest and she says, I cannot feel you.
• 13:03
  and I have not been able to feel you for the last year. My mind has begun fantasizing and wandering and thinking about f***ing other men, having another powerful man who can see me for what I am, that I can feel. I'm too high-value of a woman to cheat on you. I am not saying I'm leaving you. What I am telling you is we are not going to work if you don't wake the f*** up again.
• 13:33
  I'm just going to say, she's like, wake up warrior. You went there. What'd you do next? That's first of all, I can't wait to meet her. That, that is one vulnerable, authentic kick in the pants that you needed. And I love it. So what'd you do with that? This is where people go wrong.
• 13:49
  They don't communicate. They don't freaking talk. And then they just go do the stupid thing that doesn't get them ahead. So kudos to you guys. My wife was terrified, but she was so done. And I'd been getting messages for a couple of years that my wife's soul was dying. I didn't know what this meant. I kept getting this prompt in psychedelics. I kept getting this prompt in meditation, in prayer. I kept getting this prompt that something was off. And I knew it was off. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't have an idea. Even though I was using all my tools, I couldn't figure it out.
• 14:18
  So as I'm sitting there though, I had, she was like, you could have reacted differently. It's like, I had no idea where you're going. If you went to your ego, you could have just told me to off and we could have been done. She's like, I knew I was risking everything we had built together, but I knew I could not go forward anymore with where I was at.
• 14:36
  And so for a couple of months, I was on my heels. Now I'm very honest about what happens in my world. I'm very honest all the time on my podcast, HY podcast, on stage at Warrior with my students, my clients, because the path of power for me came from just being able to never feel like someone had shit on me. You can't, no one can expose me. It's a very empowering place to live, which is any shit you think you know about me, I've already put on the internet.
• 15:02
  So like, go ahead and talk your shit. Oh, his wife said that. No, I've said that 52 times on podcast. What are you talking about? It's everywhere. Of course, I've told that. Yes, my wife has verified and said this on podcast and on stages with us too. But in that place comes a hard place, which is a willingness to take a knee to the truth that just been given to you. That is incredibly difficult.
• 15:27
  A piece of me wanted to tell her to f*** off. A piece of me wanted to like get defensive, be a victim. Wanted to feel all the dark feelings and run away, hide from it, not deal with it. Part of my mind thought, fine, I'll replace her with somebody else. All the same thoughts any other guy would have.
• 15:42
  But in that, I knew I have to own this. Like, I'm the creator of this. This woman is amazing. And I have put us in a situation. Now, the trio was she had risen in power. She got into bodybuilding competitions. Bikini was winning trophies everywhere. Getting so much validation for her physique. How she looked, she was banging, killing it. And I, at the time, this was like two and a half years ago, I was 190 pounds surfing every day. And this didn't really give a s***. It's not even give a s***. I needed to grow.
• 16:10
  And she was the trigger to make it happen. But it was terrifying. Terrifying for months. Until I started seeing the pathway out and using the same tools that you have in the warrior book. I use the same tools I've been using for the last decade to dig my way out. But this right here is the hardest piece. This is the hardest piece for guys. Is to receive feedback from a wife, feedback from friends, feedback from the world. But most importantly, feedback from God in isolation.
• 16:36
  Because this is the place where we're trying to get deeply, which is just like you going to Florida outside. Can you actually sit and look at your world with no bull****, no aspirational thoughts, nothing? Just what is the reality of my world? And what is actually working and what is not working? I mean, what were some things you came up with this weekend in Florida? What's some of the things that you know have to pivot for you or you want to pivot for yourself?
• 17:03
  Well, five pages of notes, but I want to just go back and I will answer that. Stillness, solitude and silence where all the answers are found. Stillness, solitude and silence. One more ass surrender. That's what you're saying that people I just want to make this in the heart of the life nation.
• 17:20
  terms that people will understand. And we all say the same thing. I'm reading your book. It's like the book I just wrote happier than life. Literally same thing. Do the same things. We just have different spins. What are some of the things I want to invoke change? I believe in a united we stand divided. We fall.
• 17:37
  universe. And I believe in, and loving everything and telling the truth. And it's just, I see this utopian world where we get along and help each other and, and are vulnerable. And as strong men and women working together for happiness, not this fakeness that you see on social media, you know, in the end of the day, this is my takeaway. I've forgotten how to have fun.
• 18:03
  I don't do anything that's just fun for me anymore. And, and I am grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind until I get myself so sick that the grind becomes harder. And I don't know where that comes from. It's a sickness before we came on here. Steven, our podcast producer also produces Ed, my let's show. And I go, I can't wait to talk to Ed and be like, now I get it. I get why successful guys continue to grind. It is a sickness that is inside of us.
• 18:33
  But I'd rather have that sickness than the sickness of being fat, of being poor, of being broke, of being complacent. No thank you. I'd rather be up at the gym every single morning. But I get it. Anybody would trade lies with me right now. But I want more. I want to help more people. I didn't go through all this crap and shit to just sit here on my hands and not help people.
• 18:59
  And I want, I don't want people to hit that crash, that rock bottom that you talk. I want to catch them before they do that and say, there is another way. The warrior way, the Segal operating system. Everybody's got the method that we are the day, the, the, the Crohn's, the Chris Crohn's. And then the lion's not sheep. All the people that you're having bringing together in the man in the arena tour all have a method and they all work. And they're all rooted in one thing. I should say two things.
• 19:28
  Truth. Go back on any of these movements. I'm a comeback. Any of the ones you just listed, man, wealth, pivot, standard, the edge, all these guys that over the years with their protege of mine and, or just inspired strategic partners and encourage them to build planted here in Miami. Miami.
• 19:49
  Another group that's starting right now, like all of it is rounded in truth. If you can't get a man to own his truth with no blaming of his wife or anyone else. And the problem is Adam was the perfect standard mentor. We read in the book of Genesis, the work of man.
• 20:05
  I am naked. I am not ashamed. I am in power with God creating with my naked woman. And we are creating naked, unashamed, and then we do something. In this case, eat an apple, feel guilt, feel shame, hide, and then comes the ultimate. It is my wife's fault. Literally the first guy that blamed his wife for his decisions, Adam.
• 20:31
  Adam, who told you you were naked? Oh, well, you know, that woman that you just created out of my rib, the one with the nice tits and ass, that one that you gave me, I like her a lot. She seduced me to eat the apple. It's all her fault. Dudes have been blaming their wives and women around them for their foulties forever. Now we have a whole generation of men blaming everybody for everything except for taking accountability for themselves.
• 20:53
  I got a thing saying that I said, losers assigned blame, winners fix problems. I say that over and over and over again. And in your book, you wrote here, your reasons do not pay the bills, put food on the table or build relationships. Only results do. And then I love this follow-up. In all labor is profit, but mere talk leads to poverty. My parents used to say money talks and bullshit walks.
• 21:17
  Exactly. My parents seem to say that because my parents didn't have any money. They didn't even know to even talk about the money conversation. Like those were two. If you look at two conversations that men really struggle with, it's a conversation of money. It's a conversation of sex. These are the two. Like we are after 13 years, the fundamental driver for a man, a man will feel purpose underneath when he has nothing and nothing's working. He just wants to reach out to God and find purpose. But the real only purpose he has is get paid, get laid.
• 21:45
  Really, these are it. If a man is not, look at it this way. I mean, Kelly, if you and I are not getting paid, the only purpose that opens in our world is making money. If you can't pay your bills or you can't produce or you just got crushed in business, the central thing that you wake up with every day is get paid. And most guys want to get paid so that they can get laid. Very few dudes are getting laid who don't get paid.
• 22:07
  That's funny. What was the second thing though? You said truth was the first. What was the second? Second piece in it is God, but these are interconnected because where you access truth, you access God. So everybody wants to go to church and we'll go to these places. But if you're a walking liar, it doesn't matter. You can go to all the quote unquote sacred places where God supposedly is. You can open up the Bible. You can open up whatever you want to do. You will not find God.
• 22:33
  You will not find God in a book unless you are a man who is looking through the lens of truth. So you're going to look all over. You can go on pilgrimages. You can go to meditation. You can get high as shit on ketamine. You can do whatever you want. None of that's going to change anything if inherently coming down off that high or whatever the motivational moment was, you come back to a place of I'm still a fucking liar to myself and to the world. Like the topic of sex, it took me forever to get to a point where I could actually look my wife in the eyes and say, sex is a non-negotiable for me in marriage.
• 23:03
  It's oxygen for me. And I tell guys, I'm like, have you taken a stand for this topic? Because the sexlessness in marriage is massive. The frustration and disconnection from most men in their marriages, even married to beautiful women. It doesn't matter. Wildly enough, some of the most beautiful couples have the least amount of sex.
• 23:21
  That's what I talked about choosing everything else, but what you want. And I see that a thousand times, man, it's, it's not okay. That's why cheating happens. You went down that path. Let's go down there. And guys, the warrior books up here. We're going to get into the man of the arena tour. I'm just enjoying breaking bread with my, with my, uh, handsomer younger brother here. Um, how do you coach high powered men to hear the voice of God then?
• 23:43
  We start them in truth. So the exercise you did in Florida is exactly what we do with anyone. We have specific tools inside the warrior system called fact mapping. Everything is founded on what we call the code, which is real, raw, relevant results. Can I own the real facts of my situation?
• 23:59
  This exercise in and of itself as well, because most men do not map their lives this way. They don't look at their body. Then look at being, which we consider God and certainty and purpose and self balance, which is marriage and relationship with wife through communication, sex and intimacy and leadership with their children. And at the same time, look at business. We will get assessment in business. That's an easy one. KPI is very specific. Here's where we're going. Marketing, advertising, sales, process, systems, optics, people, accounting, taxes, cash,
• 24:28
  All simple shit in business. But the rest of life, very few. Some will do body. Some will do business. Very few of any truly assess being in balance. So the first thing we start with is truth. And we go across the board. Okay, let's go. And we have systems and protocols for actually extracting truth from these men in environments where truth is readily spoken by those around them. And a man can share his truth without feeling judged.
• 24:57
  knowing that his truth will not be weaponized against him. Because the challenge of speaking truth in the land of liars, which is the land we live in, is that truth is received as a declaration of war. So even if you don't want to start with people, it will come to your front door. Speak truth on social media and outcome all the talkers and weak ass men who just run their mouths online.
• 25:25
  They do it to you, they do it to me, they do it to everybody who is speaking truth. Oh, I don't like your tattoos. I don't like you're saying that. You're full of . I'll beat your ass. I'm like, yeah, you will. off. Here's my address.
• 25:36
  Well, Wes Wosling actually did that and dude showed up to the gym. That was an interesting one. Like there's this piece with all of us that are sitting there like trying to get to it. And it doesn't matter. Men, that's why like Man in the Arena Tour events and things like this we've done for 13 years work so well. Because truth is a fluid concept in that I can have a guy that makes $100,000 a year and a guy that makes $10 million a year, a guy that makes $50 million a year, put them in the same room and put them in the box of mirrors.
• 26:02
  which is a literal physical environment we've created, which Kelly, you come, literally open the box up. We put you inside. It's an entire box of mirrors, an octagon that you stand in, take your shirt off. You got five minutes by yourself. No music, no simulation, nobody looking at you, no cameras, just you. Don't threaten me with a good time. Put a man in that environment, in reality and energetically, men break. Nothing breaks a man more than silence with himself.
• 26:31
  because it's the one place he can't hide. Can't hide on social media. Can't look at asses on Instagram. He shouldn't be looking at doing all. He can't distract himself. Now it's just him. And when it's just him, God shows up in that environment. And now comes a challenge because most of us in that environment feel deep levels of guilt, deep levels of shame, deep levels of just sadness over decisions we've made or decisions we haven't made or things we've done or things we haven't done before.
• 26:58
  And the higher the producer, the more aware they are, just like bodybuilding, the more built you get, the more aware you are of when you are a little fluffy.
• 27:07
  When you're just, you're like, ah, I'm not taking my shirt off. I'm not that way. I just take my shirt off all the time. I'm just like, I don't care. I've been doing that forever. But I watch in the bodybuilding world, guys are jacked. They're feeling a little too much water right now, so they can't take their shirt off for a picture. I'm like, bro, you're f***ing huge. What are you talking about? So as your awareness goes up, it actually becomes more difficult for men to find environments to be in because everybody looks at them as if they are the king, which they are.
• 27:31
  but they have no place to go sit with other men they respect and be honest about the struggles they're in. This last week, I've sat with well over 15 different guys, all these guys, super producers. Half of these men I've sat with, behind the scenes, it's unraveling. Not in finances. Unraveling because when you produce at a high level, at a certain point, you have to ask yourself, what the f*** am I even doing? Like, why am I even doing this?
• 27:58
  I don't even give a about this business anymore. I don't care how much money I lose over here. I'm so tired of doing this. But then it's back out to the grind because it's what they know. But behind closed doors with men like me, the truth comes out. Truth comes out about marriages. Of guys I sat with last week, I was like, okay, well, do you want to be with her? Yes or no? And then the pause. I'm like, there's your answer.
• 28:29
  Your silence speaks louder than your words, my friend.
• 28:32
  Man, that's deep. Because I know I'm friends close to every single person that you were with last week. And I'm like, whoa, whoa. How crazy is Chris's freaking addition on that house? Oh, dude, it's massive. That $25,000 square foot addition is incredible. Did he show you the pool? Oh, yeah. We were on the pool. They haven't had water in it yet. The pool's crazy. It's like a down pool that goes like this and then back up. It's like it's craziness.
• 28:59
  you ever want to have your mind blown is having conversations with him and how he thinks about bending time and bending reality. And it's,
• 29:08
  we just think differently, but I've never, you got me really into my thoughts about the truth and looking in the mirror because I've done that. That's what the whole harder than life mantra is, is just you and your thoughts and who the hell you are. And if you do the work on yourself and those six inches a year, you will lead a happier than life. And that's the next book that's coming out in the next month is this is how you live happier than life.
• 29:35
  And that's literally all I want is peace, clarity, and freedom. And I'm with you, man. I get there sometimes when I'm looking at my social media and people are ripping me and like, you take steroids. And it's like, dude, you don't even go to the gym. Yes.
• 29:50
  Why do I even listening to you? I don't care. I love that the core four starts with fitness. I get it. We're jacked. That's what we're going to pick. But for me, and I don't think you even know this, is this fitness is what absolutely kept me alive when I was a kid when my parents were beating the living shit out of me. I had a stepfather was six foot one, 265, and he used to beat the crap out of me. So I started lifting because I wanted to kick his ass.
• 30:19
  This is my safety. I don't care if people think this is 30 years of lifting. It doesn't happen by accident. So I don't care what people say, but I tell you, when you look at somebody and they're jacked and they walk in a room, you're taking them seriously because the dedication it takes, the confidence it takes the day in and day out. One of the things that you might not know either. I'm doing 500 workouts this year. It is. I don't know what I was thinking. I was so stupid coming up with this idea. I'm not going to be a good idea.
• 30:48
  I figured I work out every day anyways, 360 days. What's an extra 140? It's a lot.
• 30:56
  I literally, and I think of Chris when I think of this, it's like, I didn't think that one through. That wasn't smart. This morning I did actually work out one 64. And what is today? One Oh four day one Oh four of the year. It's tough, man. I bit off a little more like you. I'm going to knock it out, but it's, you know, I don't finish till November, December. Imagine biting that off. That's a lot of workouts. Like, it's like Andy's 75 hard. I did 75 hard once.
• 31:21
  And I was like, oh, that's no problem. But I didn't want to do average. So I was running six miles at six miles in the lift in the morning and then run six hours, six miles at lunch. Like no problem. I just ripped six real quick, lift in the morning, rip six at lunch. And that was good for about two weeks.
• 31:38
  two weeks, I remember waking up. I was like, this 75 hard. I'm going to walk. There's no reason. Now I know why everybody's walking. I was like, why is that right? Walking, just run or do something else or do two big, heavy workout. No, dude, the beat down for me is I just like that. Like you look at the actual stress that you and I and men face. If you look at just the stress levels, it
• 31:59
  You isolated down to this idea of my business, right? That's enough stress in and of itself, employees and teams and cashflow and dealing with all the things with business. So that's an issue and that's heavy stress. And that's like 70, 80%, 90% of the consumptive thoughts for most entrepreneurs is problem solving in the business. Now you add to this marriage. Hmm.
• 32:20
  It quantifies exponentially the stress because now I'm trying to navigate this relationship of being an entrepreneur with a woman who inherently actually doesn't necessarily understand what it is to be an entrepreneur. It took years for my wife to actually have empathy and it required her to build her own business and build her own eight figure brand and do what she does in the hair industry to actually have respect for the pressure that I was under. She could never understand it.
• 32:43
  Until she did. So then you have kids. How many kids do you have? I have a 16-year-old daughter that is 16 going on 30. So it is tough, man. And then being, she's got to be the daughter of...
• 32:58
  An influencer. So she's got to hear the coaching every day. So she is a fish out of water because she doesn't succumb to all of the societal, the teenage pressures that all the little kids do. And she's like breaking it down. So they look at her like she's an alien. So I got to help coach her through it. And then on top of it, I got my own shit going on. Yep. It's tough. Let me rephrase that. Everybody would trade their problems for our problems, but they wouldn't trade lives.
• 33:25
  No, they would be happy to trade their problems for our problems and be crushed in the first day dealing with these problems. Like I tell people, they come to my house, I'm like, I have four daughters, two teenage daughters, two toddlers. I'm 49 this summer. My wife's 41, she'll be 42 at the end of this month. We've been together for 23 years, almost divorced six times.
• 33:44
  And we're finally in a place where we'll ride or die. Like it took us, it took us 20 years of being together to get to a place that we could both at a soul level, spiritually be like, you're it. I'm it. Let's go. Like last night we're on date night and my wife's looking hot. I'm just like, so into her and just, I'd been gone on a road trip for weeks. It was our first date night since I got back. And I'm just like, Oh, she just giggles like she's a teenager. And she looks at me. She's like,
• 34:09
  God, you're so into me. How are you so into me? I was like, baby, like, I want you. Like, yeah, you get sexually triggered by other women. I was like, I get sexually triggered by hundreds of women all the time. Yeah. But I want you. I don't, the trigger I can't do anything about. That's like God given. I didn't put the sensitivity on the head of my penis. God did that. So if you've got a problem with it, talk to the operator that created it. I can't do the sexual triggers. They just happen. But what I can do is choose who I'm committed to.
• 34:35
  But if you come back to the pressure of this, and most men can't be honest about the pressure of this, the pressure of having teenagers today, the pressure of having a spouse today or dating today. Are you in a dating game or what? I have a serious girlfriend. I'm actually, you'll die laughing. The night I met Sean Whalen at an event, I went there to meet him. He invited me to an event. I go in and I met my girlfriend there about a year and a half ago in Utah.
• 35:01
  And we're going through it right now. I'm doing a podcast about it. We're going through it. It's like, I'm so stressed with getting this brand moving and a second book that she's the odd one out. And it shouldn't be that way. But I just, you know, the time change and the constant back and forth is just kicking our butts.
• 35:22
  And it's tough, man. This is not easy. I'm getting my butt kicked. But I think I met you at the perfect time because I literally, when I saw your information, I sent forward to her and I said, this is going to be us. You literally said something that I want to reiterate to everybody. 23 years he's been with his wife. Almost divorced six times. They just now are starting to figure it out.
• 35:44
  That's the grind people. It doesn't happen overnight. This isn't, there's no elevator. There's no pill that you take. He works, works, works, breaks it down, works, works, works, breaks it down again. And we're sitting in the arena. Funny that you call it, man in the arena. You're in the arena fighting, figuring it out. And I'm proud of you, bro. And I can't wait. We'll bring the girlfriend and she will, the four of us will break bread on the podcast with you and,
• 36:14
  Love it. Whether on the podcast and kill it. The thing about the push is that there is a perpetual, no matter who you are with, and this is the challenge with dating for most of my guys that are single is the fact that they want to have something that matters and is sustainable. They come from divorces. They come from broken situations. It didn't work out. They've had children with some of these guys married and divorced two or three times. And they're like, how do I put this together? I said, listen, you have to find a person who is willing to grow and create with you.
• 36:40
  Because if you're with a growth-minded woman, this woman will not be the same woman 12 months from now. So this idea that you're going to find one person that will complete you and that you're going to find one person and not have to collide and create and recreate yourselves is insanity.
• 36:54
  I'm not married to the same woman, even though I'm with the same woman. She's not the same woman she was a year ago. She's not the same woman she was two years ago. She's definitely the same woman she was five years ago. And I'm not the same guy I was last year. So it's a challenge of monogamous relationships because we're trying to reconnect as we recreate ourselves, which means you're spiritually divorcing and coming back together. But if lying is involved in that exchange and we're hiding pieces of ourselves from our partner.
• 37:18
  And we're not putting it all on the table. Our fears, our doubts, our worries, our power, our struggle, our darkness. Listen, dude, your girl, my wife, they're bitches. They have a piece in them. They're a woman. They're bitches. Every woman's a bitch. And guess what? Every guy's an asshole. The only difference is like somehow like we just can't acknowledge this. Guys can admit they're assholes. Women can't admit they're bitches. And it's not like a derogatory thing. I'm just saying when my wife snaps and like she'll go psychotic, she's a bitch.
• 37:47
  And when I'm in my asshole, that sounds weird when I say it, when I'm in my asshole, you know, when I'm doing that move, Kelly, when I'm in my own asshole, that's good. That's a good one. There's the clip for the social, for the social media. That's a good one for a Tuesday morning. So like when I'm, when I'm there though, I act my worst. She acts her worst. It's a war zone, add alcohol to it. And it's a total war zone. Now, when I'm in my best, I,
• 38:15
  And I'm in power, she can go to that place and I don't move. And the problem is in relation, people are moving too much. They can't stay grounded in themselves. And so they hide pieces of themselves. It's why like, oh, I didn't, this, you weren't who I originally got together with. Well, no, I'm never gonna be who I originally got with. No. And long distance is hard. That's a hard situation too.
• 38:36
  We're going to figure it out. It's, it's, it's just, I'm grinding it. We'll figure it out. She's a good girl. She's done a lot of work. We're both growing. We've grown a lot and we'll figure it out. It's just, it's just having that conversation, you know? And it was, it was also too, and this, I'm going to ask you this question. Then we got to get into the man in the arena tour. Cause we're going to get you out of here too. Is it's more of just understanding what my boundaries were and where my standards were and, and communicating them directly.
• 39:01
  And then understanding what she needed and giving her that. We're working through that right now. So having said that, that's what a high-value man does. So how do you define a high-value man? What's the first step in becoming one? And then we're going to switch over to the man in the arena tour. So high-value man, how do you become one? Well, I was actually on a show in Vegas. It's kind of like Fresh and Fit. It was called Vegas Live. And they had...
• 39:24
  Four girls that were OnlyFans girls, a couple strippers, and then Michael Sartain and a guy named Rolo. And we're sitting there, and it's like Fresh and Fit. They bring in these young girls, and they do the show. I think it's kind of silly. Fun. I get it. It's kind of silly, too. I was like, put my wife and all the women we run with on that board, and they'll f***ing eat these guys to pieces. Yeah.
• 39:43
  The only way we're getting away with this is because they're dealing with like 26 year old strippers. And they're like, OK, but it was it was interesting show to be on. And so I'm sitting there and they were defining this high value man, which I believe with Michael. Michael's great. I have nothing wrong with him. Him and Roll are amazing guys. And they're doing great stuff for guys. I've seen the work they're doing for them, too. So as you sit there and look at what they're trying to define high value man and that the one percent are the high value men and all the women are after the one percent. And realistically, this is true.
• 40:09
  Like guys' value continues to go up as they get older, as long as they continue to play at a high level. But I created a distinction between what you would call high value men and high value Kings. So there are high value men, which really become the boys of our society. And the definition of those guys are they have money, they're fit. And they got a line of women out the door. This has become the young definition of high value man. And it's really narcissistic. If you think about it, that's narcissistic. It's all over social media. High value man has money.
• 40:38
  He has, he's jacked and he's got a line of women out the door. All these guys, Bilzani, these guys all represented a version of what supposedly was a high value man. And then I said, they're high value Kings. High value Kings want one woman. They have desires for hundreds. They choose one because they realize they cannot build a kingdom nor an empire constantly being chasing pussy. And they don't ever have the power of a woman who can cross check them.
• 41:07
  This guy over here, the minute a girl responds any way that's negative, gone next. Miami's filled with these guys. Gone next. Gone next. Give me another hot Colombian. Give me another hot Colombian. Give me another hot Colombian. That's Miami. That Cuban this time. Up. Colombian. Over and over. Now you have guys who are actually committed to building something. And a high-value man in that place or a high-value king is a man who has weaponized his body. Speaks with and communicates with God daily.
• 41:36
  has a monogamous committed relationship and is all in to grow and create with this woman, leads his children spiritually and financially, and is rich. This man lives in abundance, but he's also inspired by a purpose and a mission. It's what you've built. It's what I've built. We felt called beyond just doing business. And you and I both know that there are a lot simpler ways.
• 42:05
  to make money than to do the shit you're trying to do. And I'm done. Are you talking about in the business world? Like I'm in cybersecurity and it's just, whoa, whoa. No, harder than life. I don't wanna talk about cybersecurity. Cybersecurity is a great, got it. I'm the hair industry. I'm a financial services too. Way simple, simple shit. Dealing with human beings and compelling men to rise,
• 42:32
  Guiding humanity to be better is way harder than just make money.
• 42:38
  Have you ever read the book conversations with God? Absolutely. 2009, Neil Donovan. So this weekend, God was talking to me in a different, in a higher pitched voice than me. It might've been your voice now that I'm hearing you and telling me to just keep going. I'm on the right path because there's times where I go, what am I doing this harder than life thing for? It's stupid. It's for charity. I'm donating the majority of the profits to charities. I have three charities. I'm on the board. I'm donating at that.
• 43:05
  But I get my teeth kicked in every day going, why am I doing this? Because it's who God has told me what I got to do. He survived me through all the beatings as a child to be able to pay it forward. So having said that, I show up at the Man in the Arena tour on May 17th in Salt Lake City at the Maverick Center. What am I going to get?
• 43:27
  So there is a unique experience that happens for men. With all this talk about lying and all this talk about not speaking the truth of what you want, men are looking for permission to be powerful. This is why there's even such a thing as male social influencers who are speaking and beating this message. From the Andrew Tates to the you to me to the Wes Watsons to every Andy Elliott's, all these people speaking. Now people have opinions about all of these people, whatever.
• 43:58
  where everyone is dressed in black, the same, wearing this shirt. And there are no women. Women and children have been put to bed. Let's go to war. And men enter this place. They come for rebirth. And people hear that and they're like, that's stupid. No, no, no. The biggest shifts in a man's life have come typically through major pain with his woman or major collision with men that they respect. Right?
• 44:25
  And as you see a pivot, this event is a pivot event. Men enter the arena seeing the world this way, and they exit with tools, systems, and process, and a new vision for themselves that way. But that requires us to hit two foundational truths, which is ownership of all of your world now, and in that, accessing the vision of God for the next version of you that you're going to hunt down. People say, what does that practically mean? We're going to break you and remake you in one day.
• 44:54
  And there's 7,000 people going to be there, right? Yep. Break and remake you. The intensity of a room like this is like nothing. You can take 30,000 people, put them in a stadium with men and women. It's not the same. When you put men together who come for a central focus of breaking and remaking themselves, we got men who are broken that are coming. And we got men who are doing amazing that want to come and rebirth themselves again. Right?
• 45:19
  And they've watched this and we've done this for 13 years. This isn't my first rodeo man in the arena is the brand with 10 men's movements behind me backing this together, bringing our people for this experience. Because I also know there's people in that place. And Kelly, I'm certain in the future and our next tour events will be part of that from that frame, too. Is that there's people who will hear me on this podcast with you who have listened to you for a while and they listen and don't move.
• 45:46
  In my world, there are men who have been watching me for 10 years and they don't move. Their lives are stayed exactly. But all of a sudden they start to hear about harder than life. And all they've been hearing is the warrior drum. And now they hear the harder in life. They hear your story. They hear how you show up. And now thousands of men are like, that's my guy. Like man in arena tour is not an easy thing to put together. It's not a convenient thing to put together. It's not my plan.
• 46:13
  People are like, why are you doing this? God told me to do it. That's it. Not convenient, not simple, heavy, as with everything else I have going on. Why, though? We are about to watch the first massive men's revival begin. May 17th. The last time something like this was done, it was in the 1990s, called the Promise Keepers. The only difference was, back then, it was like New Testament-style Christian men.
• 46:42
  This is now a place of darkness in our country and around the world. It's the Old Testament rolling back into play. Savage men who come from darkness, who have liberated themselves, standing and guiding and leading legions of men to do the same thing.
• 46:58
  So as much as it feels like something's like, oh, it's a motivational event. If this is not 10x, this is not Limitless, Aspire Tour, Clever Investor. These are all great events. It's not a Tony Robbins event. No, what this is is unlike anything you've ever experienced. Because we will go into darkness and we will rise to light. And in that place, you access permission to power to do more in your business, do more in your marriage, do more with your kids, and to do much of the things that you know you need to be doing, but you do not do them.
• 47:26
  Why? Because your current identity does not give you the permission to give you access to power to go. The foundation of the event is truth. The foundation of the event is God. And the foundation of his weapons and tools from 10 different men's movements that we've collaborated together and put together to give men an experience with all of them at once in one place that you could not create outside the arena. You could go higher, all 10 of us.
• 47:54
  Or you can come to the arena and experience the greatest nuclear explosion that will kick off a tour series that we will take over the game in the men's space as a syndication over the next 10 to 20 years.
• 48:05
  The pain is staying the same has to be greater than the pain of change, guys. This is what he's going to do. I'm going to give you some of the names and the movements. Each one of these guys got over 1,000 people in their membership. Sean Whalen, Lions Not Sheet. We Are The They with Jimmy Rex. Keaton, The Muscle. Fleischman's a part of this, right? Yep.
• 48:25
  And then obviously you, the next go around, I'm actually at a wedding of another influencer. So I can't even come and I'm so jealous because I want to get there. But this is where we're committed to 40 different places at once. But I'm coming to Miami for sure. Who else is going to be a part of that? We've got, I'm a comeback, Mark Jenison. We've got thousands of guys in alcohol recovery programs. Mason Kane, Unchained, 6,000 guys in porn recovery. We've got Raul and The Edge out of New York City.
• 48:54
  Hundreds and hundreds of elite men. Nobody in his groups make less than 10 million a year. There are groups. All these guys have been playing in this. The difference in this event is the fact that the foundational trainers of this event are men who actually train men. Yes. Yes. Big groups, guys. It's not a lineup of keynote speakers coming to deliver a story about how they used to play soccer or they climbed Mount Everest or they won a championship in college.
• 49:22
  The truth is men don't give a f*** about any of that. Kino inspiration is not what this game is about for us at all. And every one of the trainers are coming with deep wisdom, five to ten years experience leading in the darkness and the trenches with men.
• 49:37
  One more question, and I want to remind everybody the link for this will be in the show notes. We're going to expedite this to the front of the line. It'll be out next week. Anything I can do to help for the Miami one, you're going to get more of me than you know what to do with. But I want to ask you a final question. What's your take on men who believe but don't know God? Let's end it with that. I think there's a big difference between having a conversation with God and listening to other men tell you about God.
• 50:04
  And the land of the believers is going to die. Because the minute things gets heavy, believers run away. The only men that can stand in power in the fire of this game called life are men who know.
• 50:15
  And the only way to know is to step into truth. And in truth, be guided with tools and weapons like we do here at Warrior to show you how to enter into conversations no different than Kelly and I are talking right now on a daily basis about everything in your life. The greatest mentor you've ever had and could ever access is God. Kelly and I are great. We can help you do some stuff. We're here to do stuff to work and help you get there. But at the end of the day, there's only one person that knows your soul blueprint, and it's the one that made it. God knows your map. The end.
• 50:46
  I want to leave this with my definition of a high value man. It's literally a guy who looks in the mirror, loves himself, and has peace in his heart. It's literally that simple for me. I want to remind everybody about the Man in the Arena Tour, but just know that together we rise. Love everybody. Tell the truth. Garrett, what's your last final thoughts? Get your ass to the arena. I can promise you getting there.
• 51:08
  is going to be pivotal. We've watched this with tens of thousands of men and events with us the last 13 years. They can go back to the line of demarcation and rebirth in their life.
• 51:18
  And the results that they got today and the world they live in in abundance across all four domains of life came because they came to an event, they got their butt in a room, they left their family and their businesses for a day and gave themselves a shot to be surrounded with powerful men committed to living a different way. So check it out at maninthearenatour.com. And Kelly, I appreciate you having me today, brother. I know we're gonna spend a lot of time together.
• 51:39
  Yeah, guys, get out and buy his book if you're not sure. It's no nonsense. We just gave you a tidbit. He's doing a big tour, so we went freaking quick. But the Warrior book jumps right into it. No nonsense. Garrett, I haven't met you, but I love you, and I appreciate you. And this is just the start of the beginning of friendship. I love your authenticity. Keep doing what you're doing.
• 51:59
  I appreciate you, man. Thank you so much for having me today on the show. Thanks, brother. Bye, bro. Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Seagull supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.