Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / Ep 25 - The Lie: I Can Handle This Alone | The Power of Community (Part 1)

Transcript

Ep 25 - The Lie: I Can Handle This Alone | The Power of Community (Part 1) · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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  Let me ask you something, and I want you to be brutally honest
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  with yourself. When was the last time you told
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  someone the truth about how you're really doing?
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  Not the polite version, not the church version, not the I'm fine
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  God's good version. I mean the truth that's been
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  sitting in your chest for weeks. The truth that you push down
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  during the day and wrestle with at night as you're lying in bed.
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  The truth that you don't want anyone else to see.
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  Because here's what I've learned.
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  Some of the strongest, most capable, most responsible people
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  that you know are quietly falling apart on the inside, not
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  because they want to suffer, but because they've been convinced
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  of a lie. A lie that says I should be able
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  to handle this alone. But what if that lie was the
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  very thing that was keeping you stuck?
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  What if the healing that you have been praying for is on the
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  other side of a conversation that you've never had?
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  Today, today we're going to talk about that.
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  Welcome to Unmasked, the podcast where we peel back the layers
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  and we hide behind a step into the kind of honesty that leads
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  to real freedom. I'm your host, Wesley
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  Farnsworth, and today we're starting a new four part journey
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  called The Power of Community. And in this first episode, we're
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  confronting a lie that almost every one of us has believed at
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  one point. And that lie is that I can
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  handle this alone. So let's dig into it.
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  This lie, This lie is sneaky because it disguises itself as
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  maturity. It often sounds like
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  responsibility, humility, or strength.
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  We say things like, I don't want to burden anyone, People have
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  enough going on, It's not that big a deal.
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  I can handle it myself. I should be strong enough to get
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  through this. But underneath all those
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  sentences are lies of a deeper fear.
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  And that fear says that if people really knew what I was
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  carrying, they'd see me differently.
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  So instead of risking vulnerability, we default to
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  isolation. And we call it strength.
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  But silence isn't strength, it's survival.
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  And survival is not the life that God intended you to live.
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  See, here's the truth about strong people.
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  They're often the most isolated, not because they enjoy
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  isolation, but because people assume that they don't need
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  anything. You always seem so confident.
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  You're the stable one, you're the leader, you're the
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  encourager. You're the one that we depend
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  on. Those are all things that they
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  often hear. And slowly, without meaning to,
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  your identity becomes wrapped up in being the strong one.
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  So you don't let people see the cracks.
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  You don't let people hear the fear.
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  You don't admit the struggle. But something dangerous begins
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  to happen over time. People stop checking on you
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  because they assume that you don't need it.
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  And you, you stop asking for help because you assume that you
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  should need it. And if that's you, you're not
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  failing. You're human.
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  Even Jesus didn't walk alone. See, every one of us carry
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  internal rooms that no one else sees.
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  There are rooms for fear, rooms for disappointment, rooms for
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  anxiety, rooms for mistakes, rooms for shame, rooms for
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  unspoken pain, rooms for temptations or habits, and rooms
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  for grief that you've never processed.
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  Those rooms hold on to things that we don't want to talk
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  about. We close the door, we hide the
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  key, and we tell ourselves that I'm fine, I'll just deal with it
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  later. But here's the truth.
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  Hidden rooms don't shrink over time, they expand.
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  Eventually, what's hiding on the inside begins leaking into
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  everything else. Your peace.
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  Your relationships, your sense of identity, your spiritual
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  life. The isolation is not neutral,
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  it's corrosive. So let me speak honestly from my
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  own life, in general terms, but with complete authenticity.
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  There was a long stretch of my life where I was surrounded by
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  people, yet I lived internally alone.
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  I was serving, I was leading, I was creating, I was helping
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  others through their struggles. I was showing up in every way
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  that I knew how. But on the inside, there were
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  rooms that I never let anyone go into.
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  Not because I was hiding from God, not because I didn't trust
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  people, but because I believed that it was my responsibility to
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  fix myself before involving anyone else.
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  I didn't want to disappoint the people who looked up to me.
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  I didn't want to add weight on anyone else's life.
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  I didn't to be a burden. I didn't want to seem weak.
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  And so I kept everything internalized.
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  I kept it hidden away in those rooms, locked up, bolted shut,
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  barricaded so that no one else could get in.
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  And from the outside, it looked like I was doing great.
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  But on the inside, man, I was exhausted.
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  Maybe you know exactly what that feels like.
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  See, isolation presents itself like a safe shelter, a private
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  fortress where nothing and no one can hurt us.
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  It convinces us that if we stay quiet, no one will judge us,
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  misunderstand us, or reject us. It tells us the silence protects
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  our image, and it Shields us from disappointment.
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  The isolation hides its true cost.
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  Overtime, that private fortress becomes a lonely prison.
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  The walls don't keep paying out. They keep healing out.
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  They don't bring peace. It amplifies fear, and the
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  privacy doesn't lighten the burden.
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  It makes the burden heavier. Isolation promises safety but
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  delivers suffocation. It feels protective, but it
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  becomes destructive. The Bible doesn't treat
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  community as optional. It treats it as an essential
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  Before sin even entered the world, before humanity was
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  fractured, before mistakes or shame even existed, God said
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  that it's not good for man to be alone.
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  Think about that. Adam was a first human being
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  ever created. When he was made, he was
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  perfect. Adam wasn't broken, he wasn't
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  sinful, He wasn't in crisis. He was just alone.
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  And God saw it and said this is not good, and so he made woman.
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  And in Ecclesiastes it tells us if one falls, another can help
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  them up. But pity the one who falls with
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  no one there. Notice it doesn't say if you
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  fall because it assumes that you will, because falling is a part
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  of being human. Sin is a part of being human.
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  Proverbs warns us that the person who isolates themselves
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  breaks out against all. Sound judgement in isolation
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  warps perspective. In Galatians it calls us to
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  carry each other's burdens, which implies that some burdens
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  are too heavy for one person to carry.
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  And in James 516 it tells us to confess your sins to one another
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  and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
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  The forgiveness comes from God. Healing often comes through
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  people you were designed for. Connection and healing is meant,
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  and healing isn't meant to be done in the dark.
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  Before anything shifted my life, before things got better, before
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  transformation began. There was a whisper, a quiet,
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  steady, firm whisper that said you can't do this alone.
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  At first I didn't want to hear it, because admitting that I
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  needed people felt too vulnerable, way too risky, and
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  far too unfamiliar. But God wasn't exposing
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  weakness. He was inviting me into healing.
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  He was pulling me out of shame. He was pulling me closer to him
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  to restore me. Maybe he's whispering the same
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  thing to you right now. If there's one tactic that the
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  enemy depends on, it's isolation.
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  He isolates before he destroys. He always has.
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  When you're isolated, fear grows louder.
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  Lies become more convincing. Shame grows heavier.
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  Anxiety multiplies. Temptation increases.
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  Hope drains out. Perspective collapses.
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  Isolation is where the enemy's voice is the loudest.
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  Because there's there's no other voice to challenge it.
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  But community disrupts the enemy's plan.
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  It brings truth into the places where lies have lived for far
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  too long. Over the years, every
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  transformation that I've seen, every breakthrough that I've
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  experienced, all began with a single moment of courage.
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  A moment when somebody said I'm not OK.
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  Not a confession to an entire room.
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  Not a dramatic breakdown. Just one honest sentence to one
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  safe person. That moment cracks the door open
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  and light only needs a crack to begin filling the room.
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  It only takes a crack to begin to be able to take off your
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  mask. So what are you carrying alone?
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  Take a deep breath for a moment and ask yourself, really ask
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  yourself, what have I been carrying alone?
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  Is it a habit, A fear? A regret?
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  A hidden grief? A weakness you hate?
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  A temptation, A struggle that you can't name?
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  A sadness you're embarrassed by, a pressure you've never
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  admitted, A problem in your relationship, in your marriage,
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  in your friendship. Whatever it is, hear me.
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  Carrying it alone is costing you way more than you realize.
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  And you don't have to keep doing that.
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  Community brings clarity into your life by helping you see
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  truth when your own thoughts feel foggy.
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  It gives you the courage. Because standing with somebody
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  else always feels less frightening than standing alone.
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  Those things you're carrying alone will become easier when
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  you're standing and fighting with somebody else.
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  Healthy community also brings accountability, the gentle,
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  loving kind that nudges you forward when you feel tempted to
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  go backwards. It offers comfort by bringing
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  you to a place that you can be heard, understood and supported.
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  Community gives you strength by allowing others to lift what you
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  can't carry alone when you're tired.
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  It brings perspective. It helps you to see angles and
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  possibilities that you would have missed on your own.
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  Community restores hope as others remind you of what's true
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  when your own hope is running low.
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  And maybe most importantly, community gives you a sense of
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  belonging, the deep assurance that you don't have to navigate
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  life by yourself anymore. Friends, I've been there.
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  I've tried to carry things alone.
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  I've tried to fight my battles alone.
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  I've tried to beat things alone. And it's hard and it weighs you
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  down. It weighed me down.
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  But community makes all the difference in the world.
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  Having somebody that can lean on you, that having somebody that I
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  can lean on made things a lot easier.
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  When I was feeling down, they spoke life into me.
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  They encouraged me and kept me moving forward even when I
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  wanted to stop. So this week, I want you to take
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  one step. I want you to say one honest
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  sentence to one safe person. Just one.
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  You don't have to share your whole story, you don't have to
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  unpack everything. You don't have to relive the
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  pain or explain the details. Just tell one person one honest
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  thing. Because honesty breaks.
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  Because honesty breaks isolation.
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  And once the isolation is broken, then healing becomes
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  possible. Thanks for joining me today for
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  episode 25 of Unmasked and the first part of our series, The
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  Power of Community. Next time we go deeper, episode
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  27 is called Sacred Spaces, How honesty heals us.
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  And we're going to talk about the environments that God uses
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  to heal us, the kind of people who make vulnerability safe, and
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  what happens when we finally stop hiding.
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  Until then, I want you to remember that you were never
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  meant to carry life alone. Healing begins with honesty, and
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  honesty begins with connection. In connection, it begins with
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  one brave step. God bless you.