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Why You Keep Starting Over (And How to Finally Break the Cycle) · FitMitTuro Fitness Podcast

• 1:09
  Turo Virta: Hey and welcome back to the fit me Turo Podcast.
• 1:13
  Turo Virta: Today, I want to talk about something I see all the time, and maybe this is you, if you are someone who is starting on Mondays, because you feel motivated. You eat well, you train. And then something happens. There is a bad day, a busy weekend, a weekend, and suddenly you feel like that, I messed it up. I need to start again. So what do you do? You restart next Monday or next month, and this cycle repeats again and again. So today we talk about why you keep starting over and how to finally break this cycle. So let me describe a pattern I see all the time. So often it goes like this, that on Monday, you are perfect.
• 2:07
  Turo Virta: Tuesday, you are almost perfect, or perfect or very good.
• 2:12
  Turo Virta: Wednesday, you are okay. Then Thursday, it starts to often, already slipping a little bit.
• 2:21
  Turo Virta: And then Friday comes and you are already like that. No, it doesn't it was such a hard week, it doesn't matter anymore. And then on weekend, you are telling yourself that, what is the point? I failed already, and I will start again Monday. If that sounds familiar, this is what I like to call the Monday reset trap, and it feels productive, but it's actually the reason you are stuck. So imagine you are walking up a mountain, and every time you sleep, you go back to the bottom, not just one step back, but all the way down. And that's what people do with their habits. One bad meal means always that you are restarting from 01. You are missing. One workout you need to restart. But progress doesn't work like that, and because the real problem is that how you define failure, and this is where it gets very interesting. The problem is not your behavior. The problem is how you interpret it. So you think I ate something unhealthy, it means that I failed. I missed a workout again, I failed. But I want you to look it little bit differently. If you have planned that, you are going to plan you are going to do three workouts this week and you did two. Is that failure, or is that progress? And if you if this happens, like also, at least, I don't know about you but myself and most people I work with, if you if I plan three workouts a week and I do two, I don't feel proud of myself that I did those two. I feel like that. I am pissed off with myself that I missed that one workout because I wanted to do three, but I did only two, and there is a huge change in how you are, how you feel, or at least how I feel. Is that if I plan two workouts, I do both of them, I feel that, Wow, I did everything. And if at some point i i found time, and I'm found find motivation, and I get extra workout as a third workout in I feel like, holy shit, I'm doing such a great job, because I did even something extra, what was not planned, but I because I felt like it, I did three i i did more than I was I supposed to do. So this is it says that those expectations, what you set for yourself and what we set for ourselves, and it don't need to be that it there is some certain amount of workouts, what you need to be doing. It's that changes. At least for me, it changes every single week. And the way how I do it is that I plan, I look my calendar for the following week, and I decide on Sunday or during the week, and that okay next week, my plan, it looks very busy week. Realistically, I will be doing two workouts, and good example is for one of my my clients. I talked the other day.
• 6:05
  Turo Virta: We were talking like she was struggling exactly with this issue, and Johanna was, she have been very consistent, but now past couple of weeks, it has been family issues, work workload like, you know, life is happening And and she originally, she, we reduced already her workouts for instead of three sessions of 30 minutes, we reduced them. She said that, okay, that it's kind of that starting is the hardest part.
• 6:37
  Turo Virta: And she said that, you, you know, you could get, she could get the same amount of exercise if she would do 245 minute sessions. And then, obviously, I already told earlier that Be careful if you know your schedule, if it's about starting, okay, this is it's fine, but especially if there are weeks that are getting busy, the goal is never to finish your workout. So if you find yourself finding excuses, or maybe they are not even excuses. They are real situations that you don't have 45 minutes time, but you would get in at some point, maybe 15 minutes, maybe 20 minutes, maybe 10 minute workout, and that is preventing you to starting. It's not there is no point of starting, and it's at least for me, in my app, what I use for myself and for my clients, there is an option that you set your own workout goal.
• 7:34
  Turo Virta: For me, the goal is two times per week, eight to 10 sets. So I chose, for Johanna, was goal is eight sets per week. So eight working sets. It means that, for example, you choose four exercises, you do 10 repetitions, and you do it two times. So that is two working sets. So it she would to hit her eight sets per week. She would need four exercises, two sets of each and you would have already won. So even she have a planned 45 minute workouts, the goal is never to finish whole workout, but to get you could even picking. You could even pick your favorite exercises. That's what I love to do for myself, too, and if, because that is what I call bare minimum. I want to keep my consistency strike going so you get every time you hit eight sets or 10. For myself, I put I have 10 sets. So it would mean three exercises of three sets, or five exercises of two sets to get that then, then sets per week, and once I hit that, it's always there is a first of all, once, I said, because that is the easiest way to talk myself, or not to talk myself out of starting. I said, this I can do. I do only my favorite exercises, and it takes 10 to 15 minutes to do the workout, the bare minimum. And this way I keep because the consistency it matters more. And this is I used to believe also that if you know, what is the point of doing 10 minute workout, but through this that, especially maintaining your muscle it needs, it requires a very, very little work. So it's and once you are consistent, it's so much easier to keep that strike going, even on the busiest weeks and and it it's so much easier to keep going week after than starting over. So if you have that kind of, first of all, those expectations, bare minimum what you are going to do, and then you keep promises yourself, and that is going to be so much easier when you don't promise too much, and the goal is never, like I said, to aim for magical amount of workouts, but adjust it week by week. And because that is the real progress, progress is stay to stay consistent and not starting over. So because here is some principle, and this is from behavioral psychology, because if you think that your brain likes those clear categories, it's good versus bad, success versus failure. But real life is not like that. It's a spectrum.
• 10:44
  Turo Virta: And if you only accept perfect, you will always feel like you failed. So, and I want to, I want to give you another, a simple example. So, because this is, this is probably you have heard about it, but it's, I think it's fit so well for this conversation, what we are having. So imagine you are driving a car, and you get the flat tire. What do you do? Do you fix the tire and keep going?
• 11:16
  Turo Virta: Or you slash the other three tires because today is already ruined. Of course, the answer is A, but in fitness, people do b1.
• 11:26
  Turo Virta: Bad choice, it ruins today, one mistake, everything is lost. And that makes no sense if you really think it, but that's exactly how people behave. So next, I want to talk a little bit about the addiction to fresh starts. So this part is little bit deeper, because people love starting over, and because starting feels good. You have a new plan, you have a new motivation. There is a new week, and that gives you hope without effort. But the problem is that you never learn to continue. So here is one principle from habit research, so consistency is not about starting, it's about continuing after disruption. So that's the and that's the real skill, and most people are not able to do this. They are not, or they are not. They don't have very good the skill. And I, I definitely was one of these people. So I was kind of all or nothing thinker. And with my background as an athlete, like I said, there was it was always like that. It's not worth of it, especially those sort of workouts. There is no point of doing something if you are not sweating, if you are not if you are not feeling tired after workout. So what is the point to do something so small and but and then, you know, you talk yourself out or, or life happened and you couldn't work out, or you made a bad choices for entire week or entire month or even whole year, or years so.
• 13:16
  Turo Virta: But then, and how to actually, then fish fix it. It's, it's continuing and aiming for something what is realistic. So I want to make this a little bit practical, and it's my favorite rule. It's the 80% rule. It's not perfect, but consistent. So instead of aiming for 100% perfect, aim for a process. For example, if your goal is to do three workouts, do you aim for perfect nutrition? You aim for mostly good meals. If you you are making those all or nothing, kind of rules? Don't you make rules like, I'm not going to eat no sweets or or no sugar, or that kind of rules, or no carbs, whatever, you know, all these kind of rules. Instead of that, you have some rules like some sweets, but it's somehow controlled. So that's how the real progress is actually working. So you are not aiming for 100% but you have some clear rules and aiming for 80% consistency. So was, this is, it's, it's something like, if you think like brushing your teeth, if you miss one time, you hopefully don't quit forever.
• 14:54
  Turo Virta: You just continue, and the fitness should be the same. So because you are you forget for some reason, or you are not, you can't brush your teeth. You don't say that. Oh, I fucked it up. I started on Monday. No, you hopefully do it on the next day or next morning or next evening, whenever is the time. But in fitness, you we often, if you really think it, it's very stupid, but in fitness, people are doing it so and but it should be the same like brushing your teeth. So what you and you don't, you don't need to make it up, like, for example, brushing your teeth, if you miss it once, you don't need to press it twice in right after other. So it there is you don't need to compensate something what you missed. You just get back on it.
• 15:54
  Turo Virta: You keep brushing your teeth, next morning, next evening, when you can. And there is no good or bad or or something that you need to compensate it. It's just you keep going and and next one, I want to talk little bit about the MO, one of the most powerful tool tools I teach. And this, I haven't been talking too much in podcast or or in my social media, but this is what we talk with my clients, and this is the next decision, because that matters more than the last one.
• 16:32
  Turo Virta: If you had a bad meal, fine. Now what most people think that I already messed up, so they continue making bad choices, and they use that one bad decision the justification for their next choices. And most people think that I already messed up. So what is the point? If I can't hit it perfectly? So it doesn't matter anymore. You might even jump on the scale, see the number, what you don't like, and now you think that, no, now it's everything is ruined. So what is the point? But what if you think my next decision? Now my next decision is the only thing that matters, and if you are able to do it, instead of thinking your last decision, you think the next decision, and that changes everything.
• 17:32
  Turo Virta: So what you need is to build a no restart system, because that is the key idea. You don't need to restart. You need to continue. So I tell my clients, there is no restart. There is only continue. Even after a bad day, bad weekend, Miss training, you just go back to your plan and you repeat, what is the next planned action. Practical examples for this could be that, if you miss the workout, you do the next one, if you had a bad weekend, eat your normal meal next day, and especially breakfast. Many people are thinking that you know you either you start to skip the meals or you eat something differently. No, you go exactly like you would do after a perfect day. So it's don't think about past, think about your next decision and act like nothing happened. And this is what I what I used to change like I especially when I was younger, I was punishing I was punishing myself. Either I went, maybe I went out for a weekend, felt bad, then I thought that now I need to compensate. So either I was going for a run or or doing some punishment exercise, skip the meals or let it go like that. Now it doesn't matter. So I was, I have been in both end of this myself, so it's either either punishing with the workout skipping meals or said that. Now I fucked it up. So what is the point to keep going so now it doesn't matter, and I get back on it on Monday. So, so this is, this is just that, what, what is like, what you should like, think only your next decision, and when I when I fixed it myself, and I decided my breakfast, for example, it's always the same. It's always the same. Doesn't matter what happened the last days. That helps. Then later on, even in the moment, it feels like it Can I hit it. Of course, you can eat the same thing, what you are used. It may be a little bit less if you feel already full that you are not hungry, you don't need to stop yourself, but there is no reason to feel guilt about something. What? What have happened? Just think your next decision and then just continue.
• 20:21
  Turo Virta: And because if you think people who are consistent, they don't restart, they adjust, and they think that I'm someone who continues, not that I'm someone who starts again, because That's a big difference. And then about this restarting often it's then, what about then injuries?
• 20:52
  Turo Virta: Because I want to talk something. This is very important, because there are many people fall out, out there from their routine completely, and that's those injuries. So what I often see is that someone gets injured and they think that I can train now. So what happens? They stop everything.
• 21:16
  Turo Virta: No there is no training, there is no structure, there is no routine. And after a few weeks, they feel like that, they have to start again from zero. So you, what you what I recommend in because obviously these are situations that unfortunately happen, and if I don't, I don't know any people who who never got insert or sick or something.
• 21:46
  Turo Virta: So what I what I recommend in these situations, is shifting the question. So instead of asking, What can I not do? Ask, what can I still do safely? And this is huge difference. So for example, if you twist your ankle, you can't use your leg, okay, can you train your upper body, do some core work? Go for a light walk, if possible, of course. If not, the answer is no. But often we are using these kind of things as a justification that, okay, now I have this injury. I can't do anything. But there is always if it's even if it's not the training. But then there is you can. You can do some different like I'm, I'm a school teacher, teaching 1314, year old kids, athletes, some of them, and one athlete broken, broke his or insert his leg, and now he, he loves to play ice hockey and, and we were talking like that, what like, of course, in the Beginning it's a big shock. You know, you can't do those things, what you love to do, and there is a huge change. So it's okay for a couple days, even week. If it's a longer, longer thing to do, to not do anything, that's totally fine. That's normal, normal. But then at some point you have to. There is so many things you can do your core work you can do upper body if you can do that. For example, in this situation is that there is some like a nervous system training, what you need, like a eye coordination, you you could be chuckling a balls, like there is always something, what you what you can do. You can learn from your nutrition. You can try to track your food, asking what, where to get your protein, how much you are currently eating.
• 23:57
  Turo Virta: You know, there is so many things you can always do so because it's almost always that there is something what you can still do. So maybe it's some mobility work. You know, things what you maybe you are not enjoying as much as something else, but there is always something like, I like to keep it always like, think that this is time when even you can do the thing, what you enjoy the most, what you should be doing most of the time. But then you have always when, especially for me, like when I have some kind of injury, and I can, for example, strength train, what I know that I need to be doing. Then I said, Okay, I shift my focus from mobility work and do only mobility, because this is something, what I when everything is, well, I tend to skip because it's not something what I I should be doing more, but I know that I don't get myself doing it. And this is the time where you can work on these elements, what you know you should be doing, but you haven't took time. Or you find yourself finding excuses because you can do everything, but then in these times that okay, now you focus on something else, what you also should be doing. And that goes, if you think it like this, that if one room in your house is broken, you don't stop using the whole house. You just use the other rooms. Your body is the same. So it's, it's, it's not that you have to stop using it completely, because consistency matters more than perfection, and even those small actions matter 10 minutes, one exercise, light movement, because it's not about progress in that moment.
• 25:56
  Turo Virta: It's about keeping the habit alive, keeping the identity, keeping the routine and very important point of recording injuries. If you always have the same injuries or same type of injuries, that's a signal. It's not bad luck. It's to signal, and it usually means that you have too much of the same movement, you do not have enough strength work, you do not have enough mobility, you do not have enough recovery. So instead of just waiting and hoping for better luck, use the time to improve your system at maybe some strength training, mobility work better structure, so you come back stronger and not just recovered, what most people think so simple rule is this, that never stop everything, always do something, even if it's small, because the biggest loss is not the injury, it's losing the routine and and this is like I when I talk with the people, I often see the patterns, like I yesterday, talked with my friend. We were playing tennis, and he always he he have similar type of injuries all the time. And then he asked me that what what should be, what should I be doing? And I said, Do you want to answer what you want to hear, or what you need to hear? And of course, he said that answer what I need to hear. And I said, you need to do some resistance training, strength training. And his reaction was, but I don't enjoy doing something with weights that okay, you don't need resistance training is not only with weights, but something for your muscles. Because if you don't like someone being over 40, over 50, if you don't do some resistance training, you don't need to wonder that you start to have those pains and axes and injuries more frequently than it was. And it's not only about bad luck, it's it's just the physiology, how things are going. So if you start to your muscles start to lose muscle mass and strength.
• 28:27
  Turo Virta: Its injuries happen more often.
• 28:32
  Turo Virta: They are same type of injuries and and even it's then it's up to your decision if you are claiming or you are blaming for that bad luck, or if you actually start to work to do something, and it's not. It's not, I know if it's something what you naturally don't enjoy doing. And trust me, I don't enjoy doing my strength training too, but that, but I know that I need to be doing it to be able to be as much as possible, pain free, live the best quality life. What I possibly saw, I'm able to do things, what I love a lot more, like playing tennis or ice hockey or something, than strength training or walking.
• 29:19
  Turo Virta: And if I don't do my strength training, I won't be able to do those things. What I enjoy more?
• 29:24
  Turo Virta: So it's it's so for people, often it's those three elements.
• 29:32
  Turo Virta: You need to work on your strength, on your muscles, you need to work on your mobility, and you need to do some form of endurance training, Psych, cardio. It could be walking, it could be playing some sports, but those three elements you have to include in your plan to be able to first of all, be pain free, have better energy and be the best person of yourself. So I want to keep this very simple, and if you are someone who are always starting over, you are not definitely not alone. But here is what you need to change.
• 30:18
  Turo Virta: You have to stop restarting. You have to redefine your failure.
• 30:25
  Turo Virta: You have to focus on the next decision, not the last one, and aim for consistency, not perfection. And remember this one that day doesn't ruin your progress. Restarting does. And if this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you want to help building a plan, you can actually stick to reach out to me. I will help you build something that works in real life. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you in the next episode.