Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 17: The Force Behind the Sisters
Transcript
- speaker-0: Welcome to the speaker-1: The just speaker-2: Sisters podcast. Life doesn't come speaker-1: with a manual. So we made a speaker-2: Welcome to Just Us Sisters. Today on episode number we are talking about the force behind the sisters, which is our parents, Charles and Sandra Rouse. And we have the opportunity to have them today with us. So we're going to start off with just asking some questions to them about raising us. being parents, being grandparents. So Susan, why don't you start off first? speaker-1: We'll be glad to start off our time. And I'll introduce everyone. I'm Susan, the oldest. Cheryl's hosting. She's second. Third is Shelly and our baby Stacy. What was the most challenging thing about parenting in the era that you parented us? And then the second question would be: what is the most challenging thing about grandparenting in this era? speaker-4: Well, I think and depends on what time, you know, y'all were raised through the Vietnam War, a lot of unsettled things in our nation and our school and our communities. That was sort of a challenge because of the unknown that was quite prevalent at that particular time. But as far as the raising of y'all, it just took off and y'all use the c same clothes and Right on down, so that wasn't a problem. ⁓ speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: It wasn't a problem for me. speaker-4: No it was But as far as raising families, ⁓ we were not wealthy, but we magnified all the money that we did make. And I think that we tried to show y'all many, many things that I think would be prevalent in your lives. And we had food on the table each day. We had good breakfastes, school lunches, and from time to time we did go out, but very, very few times to to eat. We were able to ⁓ all go to Grand and Pop's and and ⁓ to Stuart and and Mother and they were an integral part of racing y'all. They would take us all to eat or they would buy presents that we weren't able to buy and they just were a lot of support in all aspects of your young life. speaker-1: What did y'all find to be challenging as grandparents? ⁓ speaker-0: think that's really much of a challenge to us, but we really made a effort to go to everything we possibly could. speaker-4: And we made a commitment that we would take each grandchild on a trip when they were nine years old. And we would save money because that was something extra. We enjoyed that as much as anything we've done. Yeah. We were able to get one on one with the kiddos and get to know ⁓ real well. And they look forward to it. And every time that we get together one of them would mention something that happened maybe in Washington D C or or somewhere and they appreciated it so much. It was nice. speaker-0: And we did too. Yeah. ⁓ We also did the graduation. And there were two s really separate types. But to me it was a binding that will never break. We had a binding in in our lives with each one of those kids. And sometimes we took two at a time because they were graduating at at the same time. But it was just a really special time. And this challenging thing about parenting and grandparenting I wrote was money because we just didn't have the money that a lot of people had. And to do this I don't think have any idea that the kids realized that that was a challenge for us, but it was a blessing. ⁓ speaker-2: Would you think it was your biggest goal as parents raising us as daughters? speaker-0: For me, I've actually prayed for your husbands while y'all were still in my womb because I felt very led that it's important that God has had a little bit of interest in this. And actually Andy's mothers told me I prayed for Andy's wife, whoever she would be. And I thought that was pretty neat 'cause he she was actually born couple of months before him. And I just thought that was really special. speaker-1: I'm pretty sure Tom's mom prayed for his wife too. I'm just not sure it was speaker-0: Me ⁓ yeah. Because I couldn't see ⁓ well you know what? If she prayed he answered the prayer f for Tom. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yeah. ⁓ speaker-1: Sing or play the piano. speaker-5: Any point did you regret not having a boy? speaker-0: Weeds have talked about that never, never. Matter of fact, Dad said, you know, I don't think that it was meant ever for me to have a boy. I'd probably killed him. speaker-3: Hahaha! speaker-1: Or we would have. Yeah. speaker-0: Or y'all would have. No, but never I I can't ever remember saying all ⁓ speaker-6: I think that speaker-4: No, we never even talked about it. I think one of the things that I wanted out of our family, I wanted to make sure that y'all were able to survive in school, in life, in church, with friends, with situations, anywhere, any place that you were dropped into. I wanted y'all to be tough. ⁓ I wanted y'all to be grateful for the things that you did have. I wanted y'all to be able to speak fluently to friends and to people that you don't know and want to make friends with and just prepared the best that we could for life. Now I've heard in some of these podcasts that you have that we didn't push you academically. Actually we we didn't because of My history has been listening to parents push kids and it doesn't always work out the way that you think it works out. A lot of people resist or a lot of people when they get older say, I wish they wouldn't have done that. I I would feel a lot better if they left it up to me to do the things that I needed to do. speaker-0: The speaker-6: What part of yaw do you see in each of us the most? speaker-4: Well, I can see a little beyond speaker-0: And now ⁓ a little bit of each of us and b all of y'all. speaker-4: I can see Mama and a lot of y'all and I can see myself and the way that you react to people. I think that you all would stand up well speaking to anyone and I think you make friends well. I think you have energy and you you care about being in a physical condition and things like that. I think are very speaker-1: You know, one thing that I appreciated is that y'all raised us around our grandparent and so being around older people does not phase us at all. All age people. And I ⁓ I really appreciated that growing up. We're we're I know. We are we are the old people, but speaker-6: Now Susan. speaker-1: What I'm finding out is, you know, I thought that was normal, but it it wasn't normal. A lot of people our age at the time when we were growing up, they didn't know how to talk around older people. Yeah. So what was the hardest lesson to teach us? And who had the hardest time learning it? speaker-4: I think that Carol and the speaker-3: Ha ha ha! speaker-4: Came in college and ⁓ she was gonna run the whole place. ⁓ try to. And ⁓ she ⁓ had a hard time just with any type of rule. So it came to the point where I said, Which way do you wanna go on the bus? To the west or the east, because I'm fixing to go down and buy a ticket. speaker-3: You speaker-2: Hey. I I ran away when I was five, so speaker-3: No. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: Dairy Queen. Dairy Queen did it. ⁓ speaker-2: I have my priorities. Well speaker-1: I would have been back for Jerry Queen too. speaker-6: I can come home for speaker-1: So was there a hard lesson to teach us other than discipline? speaker-4: Rad a hard lesson with speaker-0: No, of course, you know, there was the little pinches in church and things like that, but you don't call that hard. ⁓ no speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-4: I I did feel bad being the high school principal. I know that it threw y'all into a different group of people and ⁓ the boys didn't come around. They were actually afraid to come around. ⁓ yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-5: Region. speaker-2: Take that. speaker-3: I speaker-1: We'll go with that one. Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. speaker-1: Well, I do know this, Dad. I know at one point when we were trying to teach one of our sons a lesson about cheating, you know, we took him out of football and I mean we took him out of everything. And we decided, you know what, let's call Papa. Let's see what he thinks. And we were like, Hey, listen, we're we're taking no out of this and this and this and you said, What did he do? Murder someone? And we we realized, ⁓ maybe we've come down too hard. He said, You have no leverage. And that That was such a great lesson for us as parent. If you take them out of everything, you don't have any leverage. And that was a lesson for us, you know, raising a teenager. So that was a very wise thing to tell us. speaker-4: Well, I think ⁓ extracurricular activities were very good for y'all. Regardless of what it was, be basketball or track or whatever. I think it it was a good thing for your growth. Mm-hmm. Because somebody else was saying no besides the mother and dad. That's speaker-2: I was wondering if there's any funny family memories that y'all still talk about or that make you laugh. speaker-0: No, Dad laughed real hard when he looked at these questions. speaker-3: You speaker-0: There was so many funny things that happened in our lifetime and I think that's what's made our life such a blessing is laughter and the fun we've had together and Marley's cousin was here and she said, Your family does a lot of things together And she said, I wished I had that. Yeah. speaker-4: I laughed I still laughed at the time that Shelly Cole and said that she had been doing their laundry and somebody took it all. speaker-0: ⁓ that was that was not that was not funny. speaker-4: Mamma, she was going around in circles trying to figure out what to do. speaker-0: Well, I drove probably a hundred miles an hour the first time in my life to get up there. Make sure she had some panties and bras. speaker-3: Okay. speaker-6: Yeah. speaker-1: Because you can't wear ⁓ in two times in a row. I didn't know. speaker-5: They stole everything. Everything. Everything. I yeah. It was not a good speaker-0: Okay. I got a whole new wardrobe. speaker-6: Dad said that he taught us to basically be independent n no matter where we were. And I remember probably between my sophomore and junior year, I rode with a friend up to Tyler. I was gonna go visit friends in Hawkins and he was gonna be a cheerleader at Tyler Junior College. And we had a blowout and he was like, I don't know how to change a tire. And I remember thinking How do you not know how to change a tire when I had changed that tire? And ⁓ I was thankful that time. ⁓ yeah. speaker-2: Yeah. We had to learn how to change the tire before we could drive. speaker-1: That's something that they did. They did give us leeway because I remember I think it was our juni my junior year, it between my junior and senior year, y'all let us drive to Oklahoma to see Grand and Pa. I think Cheryl, you were in the car and a couple of friends. Do you remember that? Yeah. We had Yeah. And we had to call y'all in Austin, Dallas, Denton. We would do a a collect call, but you would not answer. speaker-2: Yeah, Rose, I mean I'm right. speaker-1: We would let it ring twice or you would collect call and you would not take it. But you knew that we were where we were supposed to be. And yeah, I remember that one of y'all dropped their senior ring off their finger. And I was like, We can't stop. And my ⁓ mom knows what time we're gonna be there. ⁓ speaker-2: We can't. speaker-3: you speaker-2: On the highway and you would not turn around and let me go look for it on thirty-five. speaker-1: No. speaker-5: The next call was this is a collect call from Denton. speaker-1: Yes. And mam all knew when we should be there. So I was not going to delay that. speaker-3: Thank you. Ha speaker-5: So what was your funniest parenting fail that you can admit now that everyone survived, besides the way Dad taught us to swim? speaker-1: That was a fail. Well then we are learning. And water for me it was speaker-2: We still dog patterns. speaker-5: I don't speaker-2: Very many failures. ⁓ speaker-0: Teaching y'all to cook. I don't know how to cook. Susan and Stacy survived it. speaker-6: I just speaker-1: I took I took cooking classes. speaker-0: I know, but I'm I did. Now I'm look back, I wish that was something I had done with each one of you. Mm. speaker-5: It wouldn't have mattered for me 'cause I'm like Stacy. I I don't like it. I don't enjoy cooking. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-6: I know how. I just don't I used to. I got burned out all those years. speaker-1: ⁓ I bet you did burn out. No, I love it. I love it. speaker-0: Lisa, she can really whip up stuff fast. I don't know how. Takes me all morning to do what Yeah, she's like Granny. Cookie. speaker-4: Black granny. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-6: something that y'all always wanted to tell us but haven't. speaker-0: I haven't thought about that. We've always tried to teach each one of you to first follow God's direction and live each day with love and joy. speaker-4: I think that the little note that I dropped ⁓ to each of you I think sums up what I wanted to say. Yeah, that was nice. Y'all did a good job with your life and and I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated the way that y'all ended up. And the toughness. That's another thing. I hate to have these women that are whiny all the time about one thing or another and they they won't stand up and take charge or they're always complaining about something. We don't see that in Orfadler. speaker-1: No. No. No, I think that one of the things that I feel like and I think someone said it one time on a fe on a past podcast, I feel like that we were girls raised some like boys. Mm-hmm. But with you know, with the emotions and stuff. But you know, it was like when we got hurt, it was like rub dirt on it. Get up, rub dirt on it. And it just taught us to just overcome. Overcome adversity, overcome pain, overcome not that it doesn't hurt, but it also taught us to be tough. Yeah. Get over it. Move on. Next thing. speaker-4: One yeah, one thing that y'all had that a lot of children don't have, your grandparents loved y'all so much. And pop and gran and ⁓ my gosh, he would fawn over y'all all the time and granny they just loved y'all. You could just feel the love in the family. I think it's very important. speaker-5: Dad, tell everyone what you said is the secret to a happy sixty eight year marriage. ⁓ speaker-2: Can this be air? speaker-4: Yes, ma'am. speaker-1: Can you teach Tom that? speaker-2: It's too late. speaker-0: Too. speaker-3: Yeah. ⁓ speaker-6: Yes it is. I love it. speaker-2: Mom and Dad, what was the hardest season of parenting in your opinion of all of us? speaker-4: Mom ⁓ was a good mother. ⁓ it was hard having four children, especially when Shelly was born and she had two other children to take care of. Then if Stacey's born, she had three. I think it was hard on her to do ⁓ all that she did. And she's working. Yes. Yeah. And teach you what? To cook? speaker-6: Close. Yeah. speaker-0: I didn't know Clean made a priority. Clean. ⁓ speaker-1: No. speaker-6: That was the speaker-1: Your heart is speaker-4: I used to enjoy listening to y'all talk about Stuart Jackson. The way he drove and ⁓ the way he talked and so forth. And he enjoyed that so much. I've never seen a person enjoy ⁓ girls like he did. He was just still a joy you could just feel me coming out of me. Now Pop was more reserved, but ⁓ he loved you and ⁓ he'd let you do anything, so he never said anything about driving a truck or riding a horse or Bailing hay or anything. That was kind of an expectation. speaker-1: Yeah. So once we all got married, what was the hardest thing to let go of when we got when we all got married? speaker-0: Well, ⁓ really, three of you were in college when you got married. Mm-hmm. speaker-4: But how how happy were we when y'all got married? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: We went and played tennis. We just left home for college. ⁓ ⁓ speaker-1: Yeah, I remember I remember phone calls that yeah, we're just sitting on the front porch in our rocking chairs waiting for y'all to come. speaker-0: Yeah. No, it it wasn't hard to let go, I don't think. No. What what we wanted more than anything is not to lose the family touch. And we wanted the spouses to be as much a family as we all are. And I I really feel we've worked hard for that. And feel that way with them. Yeah. speaker-5: Stacey asks, Who's your favorite daughter and why is it her? speaker-6: Yeah. speaker-0: You want me to. speaker-5: That I added that to your list. speaker-0: Well let me tell you. speaker-6: Right. Let me ask. speaker-0: I'm gonna start with Susan. You are our favorite first daughter. You actually taught us so much because Peppa was in college. We hadn't been around a baby hardly any time in our life out outside of ⁓ James. And it was really an experiment. And an experiment and an example on on what to do. And I sad about the fact that we used you as a example because we didn't know but you were very tiny, you came a little early and your feet was folded up and we had to work with your ankles every day to smooth them down. And Grant Grant and Pop bought her some shoes. I thought very expensive. I don't think we could have ever afforded them. And that helped and then you went on to be able to ru play basketball and run tracks, so I think you did okay. And you s have stopped running yet. ⁓ Then the next one was Sure. That's me. speaker-2: Yeah yeah, number two. speaker-0: Cheryl, we knew you were going to be a little too not a poo poo lip, but but she's never liked to be in a closed condition and when I was caring her for five months she would start making contractions and kicking me to get out of there and I had to stay in bed or wear a brace to speaker-2: Or poop. speaker-0: time to take care of. So I just thought that's so much like Steryl. She has always not liked closed places and she started that out as a little one. But she's always kept me laughing and on my toes. Then Stelle, we loved her as our favorite third daughter. But really she was a miracle. daughter to us because we were told by someone who decided they was gonna read Papa's fortune on his hand said we'd never conceive again. Well we got Shellin and War were so and Boo boo. Shelly ⁓ I got a beep. She being the favorite third one. She's caring and consistent and been such a blessing to have her and Andy living here. I mean, you would not believe how mu they help us when we need it and probably sometimes when we don't need it. speaker-4: She was the one that stomped the foot when she got mad. speaker-0: But if we're asking about a computer, a T V or a iPhone question, then that might get tiresome to ⁓ But she was ready to get out of that room also and even though I went in and they thought I was I was having contractions, they gave me a shot. to stop us. We went home and I said, Turn around and go back because I'm having this baby And she was. She's gonna come out of there whether I was ready or not. And we did. We went and barely made it. speaker-5: The last time I was early for anything. speaker-6: Ready to get started. speaker-0: But when Shelley was born, I called her my special angel. She was just like a little angel. She was tiny, she is kind of pale skinned, blonde. And you know what? She's still my special angel. And I'm so glad she's in our lives. And Stacy, you know you're our favorite last daughter. speaker-2: A favorite baby. speaker-0: You were a Christmas present for sure because we were in a program for Cheryl, I think, wasn't it? Yeah. And at a school Christmas program and I told whoever I was with that I was gonna go to the restroom, so I went to the restroom and a lady followed me in and she said, Are you in labor? And I said, I I'm bothered but I don't know. I don't think so. It's not time. And she said, Well my husband is a he's doc a doctor that specializes in that and he said, You're in labor and you need to get down to do this. speaker-5: No, he was timing her contractions from behind her. speaker-0: ⁓ Yeah. So she's bound and determined that she was going to get here and I wanna say this, Stacy, you've made us very proud. speaker-4: Carol was gonna sing and we didn't get to hear it at these Christmas. speaker-0: No, we didn't get to hear. speaker-2: It was good. I can promise you, it was good. speaker-1: Can you sing it for us now? ⁓ speaker-5: We don't have the rights to that song. speaker-3: Ha ha! speaker-4: I was gonna say what do you hope we remember about you? speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-2: was one of my questions. What is it? speaker-4: I just hope that y'all know that we did our best. That's all I can say. We did the best we could do every day, striving to make sure that y'all were strong women. And we've accomplished that a lot. Yeah, don't back down from anybody if they're if they're wrong. Yeah. speaker-1: Y'all were successful. speaker-0: One other thing, what's something unique that each daughter brings to the family? Well, Susan, I think hospitality and joy. Susan makes you feel so comfortable in her home. You walk in and she's got everything going and she's busy but always keep conversation going. She's hospitality is just really special in her life and has been ⁓ great help in in Tom's career, I'm sure. And Cheryl, I think with laughter and joy. When we're with Cheryl and Johnny, we're laughing. There's something funny going on because Cheryl makes us so happy. And with Shelley, it's the care and consistency of her and joy. She has such a caring heart. And that not just for us, but for everybody. Everybody she comes in contact with, yeah, she brings joy and care into their life. And Stacy is an encourager and she's always encouraging someone and joy. And she sure does make me feel good because she keeps me encouraged. And they all are so supportive and want us to have fun and yet stay healthy. And that's what each of you bring to us. Like what we speaker-1: We hope you're we hope you're around a long, long time. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-6: And we have so much joy because we say we've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in our speaker-0: Down in our heart down in our heart. Down in our heart. speaker-1: When speaker-2: We have enjoyed having our parents on today. We just love ⁓ so much and are so glad that they're still around. And like I've said before, they're parents to not just us, but to so many of our friends. And so we just want to say thank you to mom and dad and we love you very much. speaker-0: Yes and we love y'all too. speaker-2: Thank you for joining us today. And just remember, life is messy meaningful, but it's better when shared. Just stay tuned for episode number because it's gonna be a mystery, even to us. Thank you. speaker-1: Don't forget to like us. speaker-2: ⁓ Sherry. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-6: Subscribe. speaker-2: Mom, Dad, love y'all. Mom, we do this 'cause Grants did it and you ended it. Death. speaker-0: Did what? Did ⁓ yeah. speaker-4: This here. speaker-2: So that's how we say goodbye now on the show. speaker-0: Yeah.