Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / A Catch Up with Clayton

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A Catch Up with Clayton · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with I our radio. It's another episode of the Almost
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Famous podcast. Today we are very very fortunate, very lucky,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I would say, to have a very special host with me, Layton.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast. Man. Man, last time I saw you,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: you were kicking everyone's button golf, and now here we
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: are on a maybe a little bit more equal playing field.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I like my chances of speaking a lot versus playing golf,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: so I might be able to hang with you this time.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: This is gonna be a good episode because you just
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: said the one compliment in the world to me that
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: means the most to me. So thank you for recognizing
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: that it's gonna be blast. Yeah. Last that we were together,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: you shot like one. We did go golfing at a
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: beautiful place. You surprised everybody because you don't play golf typically.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: You're a monstrous man. You make a club look very
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: small in your hands, although you're undersized clubs too, I
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: should say part of it. I think they were bigger
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: than mine and you make them look small. And then
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: we went back to the house. I had to actually
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: head out of town for another event, and I'm on
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the plane and I'm on this plane, and all of
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: a sudden, your name is blowing up everywhere on my
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Google alerts, like everywhere. Walk us through what happened after
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: the golf round that day? And did you expect your
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: videos with Rachel and Michelle to do what they did? Ben,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: You're coming out hot man, I wasn't. I was. I thought,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: we're gonna warm up. We are warm enough. This is easy,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: this is easy stuff. Oh great, I can't even wait
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: for what's gonna what's to come? Yeah, you know what
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: I mean. Well, you know, we were there for a
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: couple of days and just feeling the situation out right.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Day one, when I came out of the airport and
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I first saw Rachel, I was like, do I need
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: to get ready to duck something a water bottle or
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: But now she was super sweet and and so we
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: were all having a good time. And then uh yeah,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: when you left, we were all sitting there and we thought,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: you know, let's let's just have some fun with this, right,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Like we've how far we've come, and now we can
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: sit in a room together and and laugh and understand
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: one another, and we've made amends and let's just have
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: some fun with this. So uh, yeah, we as I
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: don't normally don't do anyways, but um, the ideas came
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: up with TikTok. And I'm not the visionary, but I
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: can usually add on to things here and there. So
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: we started talking and so this would be fun if we,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: you know, set this up this way, and so we
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: did and then it popped off and then all of
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: a sudden, I you know, then I just had to
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: start answering to some things. And uh but you know again,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: for me, more than anything, it just showed that, um,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: you know, how far we've all come and how we're
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: able to to look past kind of all the all
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: the pain that had presented itself years prior. So, um,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: this is a fun moment. But of course people in
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: the Internet like to like to gas everything up and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: and just see if there's something more than what they're
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: is there, and so of course then all these questions
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: came and followed. I thought it was super fun. I
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: think it's really cool just to give perspective because I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: talk on this show every week, right, and so it's
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: always good for people to hear a different perspective. Two
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: questions for you. One was just the first time you've
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: ran into somebody on your season that was in the
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: top four other than Susie. And then two, can you
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: just speak to a little bit because I know that
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: it's a very real thing, but some people watch the
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: show and they don't think like real life and the
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: show ever connect, Like how odd is it being around
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: like a Rachel or a Michelle even you know, what
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: are the nerves? Like what are you feeling walking into
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: a room where you know you're gonna be around both
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: these people maybe for the first time. Yeah, So to
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: answer your first question, I have not I have not
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: run across Gabby yet. Uh and then um, then Serene
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: would have been the other person. But yes, I've I've
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: run across three and a few times because Brandon and
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I are very close. Um. And so that was funny
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: the dynamic when we uh well first like hung out together.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: He was like, whoa easy on the hug there, And
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: he'd be like, hey, hey, y'all are getting too close.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: So he was, you know, playing that dynamic of you guys,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep my eye on you guys. But it
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: was it was playful and of course like him and
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I are such close friends, and and and Serene and
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I had had a good um, you know, we have
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: a good friendship now and I think things ended um
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: a lot better with her on the show than like
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: with the with the final three. So there wasn't much
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: uh there to have to be baby concern about it
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: or or have to overcome uh. So yeah, I guess
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I've I've I've hung out with now three of the
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: four final yeah individuals. So um, who knows if olive
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: across the pass a Gabby. I know she's super busy.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: But to answer the second half of your question, I
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: don't really like the nerves for me and and you
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: can answer. You could probably attest to this. I feel
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: like after you go through so much, you put your
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: entire life on display for everyone to judge every facet
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: of you. They they're gonna look at how you kiss,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: They're gonna look at your game, They're gonna look at um,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: you know how if you have empathy or not. They're
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: going to judge your career, They're gonna judge what you're
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: doing after the show. After all this, these constant eyes
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: on you, it just kind of starts to become you
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: just be you, just kind of not I don't know
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: if hardens the right word, but you're kind of like
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: battle tested, and so you you just feel that then
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: whenever you're faced with it with circumstance that maybe normally
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: would be uncomfortable for most I typically just think, here's
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: all the things that you've went through and done um
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: and a lot of these things now just don't really
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: incite fear in me or concern. My biggest thing is
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: it's when I step into a situation like that, is
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: just first off reading the room and making sure, hey,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: like do we have that mutual respect? And I want
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: to make sure we're all good on this and then
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: and then yeah, can we kind of be playful or
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: is it something that we need to like step aside
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: to have a conversation with one another? And so that's
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: the way I look at it. But I wasn't necessarily
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: nervous um when I first bumped into Rachel. You know,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: it had been a year and the last time we
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: talked was at Afar. But more than anything, you just
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: want to make sure that person's okay and that and
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: that you're cordial and if there's some beef you got
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: to settle, then it's like, okay, let's go do this
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: as two mature individuals. Um. So that's the way I
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: look at it. And with Michelle as well. I mean,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: the connection we never got to that place that I
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: got with maybe someone like Rachel or Gabby or Susie.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Right like with rachel Or, with Michelle, I was taking
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: out at number eight, So we never had that that
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: strong of a connection, and we've always been cordial in
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: that front. So um, I try not to overthink it
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: these days, which is a big, big statement, but I
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, you have you run into people
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: from your final four and how do you approach that? Yeah,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I have. I think at this point I've everybody but Kayla.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I've seen or Ina the jojo at an airport okay
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: um and the airports many dude it was and you
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: for me, I do get nervous. I'm with you where
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you're a little more hardened, you're a little more prepared.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: That stuff doesn't affect you. But when I know that
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going on a trip, or when i know that
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be in the same place as somebody
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: that was on my season, I do get anxious. And
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you why. And it might be my own issue,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: but I always had this idea that all these women
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: are on a text thread and all these women are
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: living in the house, and I'm kind of on my
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: island alone, and You're really only gonna make one person
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: potentially happy on your season. Everybody else is going to
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: be mad at you for some reason, and also rightfully
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: trying to like say whatever they can, you know, to
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: make themselves feel better about not, you know, the experience
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: not going the way maybe they thought it would, even
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: though they all end up very okay over the years.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And so I always walk into these like insecure, feeling
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: like kind of the the the enemy, the outsider, and
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: especially when there's more than one of the women on
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: my season in the same room at sometime, I just
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm gonna walk into this room and they're
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: all like gonna be giggling, like you know, and making
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: fun of me, and I'm gonna be like, yeah, okay,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: now you know you can, and I'm taking it all in.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: So I do get nervous. Maybe not as much anymore,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: but at the beginning, I remember being very anxious for
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: these moments and very uncomfortable. I thought you handled it
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: really well. I mean I watched it, you know, I've
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: been able to be around Rachel now a few times
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: since her season ended and catch up with her on
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: her personal life and you know the things she's up
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: to and her fears and how she's walking through the
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: process post being a lead. And so I knew the
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: storyline going into that weekend, like I knew that was
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: gonna be a thing and kind of be awkward maybe,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: And I thought you just handled it well. I thought
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: you rolled with it. The weekend ended up being a
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: lot of fun. And I think a lot of that
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: is how you and Michelle and Rachel handled yourselves, like
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: you just made it one and you made it funny.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: You can have to laugh at it. Maybe that's a
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: you know, a piece of advice or anybody going through
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: a breakup and you run into that person again is
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: maybe if you just can put a smile on your
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: face and try to have the best time possible, it
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: makes a lot easier. But yeah, I thought the whole
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: weekend went well because of the way you three handled yourselves.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: You could have gone south. And I will say, yes,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: those text threads do exist. I've seen them to some degree,
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I've heard of them. But beyond that, though I agree
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: with you, I went through the same thing that you
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: went through, where I started to a lot of times, yeah,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: project what I thought people were going to how they
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: would react when they saw me, because I was like, okay,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: that they're talking this way about me, so when I
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: get into a room with them, they're going to be
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: thinking these thoughts internally. But what I've found a lot
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: of times and where I've gotten to today, and I
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: went through everything that you just said that you went through.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I went through the exact thing. But I finally told
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: myself a lot of times I will project, and then
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the outcome will never occur that projecting. So I thought,
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: if I just go in with an open mind and
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: with a smile on my face, and I approach it
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: and say like, let's just speak like like let me
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: go in here and really just try to be who
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I am authentically, but show that I'm willing to just
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: try to make this work out and establish this this
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: friendship or whatever it may be. I feel like, what
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: however you carry yourself is what is going to then
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: project and rub off onto that other individuals. So if
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I'd have walked in with that first interaction and I
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: would have you know, avoided eye contact and just kind
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: of like gotten the car right away without saying hello
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: that entire week it would have been awkward. Right, Like,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: whatever energy you project is probably going to be received,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: And so I just thought, hey, I'm just gonna walk
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: out with a smile and just be like, hey, how's
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: it going, but like in a kind of a humorous
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: light way of you know, how how are we? But
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you know? Again, I think like that energy reads and
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: and then I found that when you do that a
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: lot of times it will put someone's guard down and
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: they go okay, I mean we both. I also did
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: ask ahead of time, does she know I'm coming or
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: like she does? I said, okay, well if she hated me,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: then as she knows I'm coming, unless she's gonna just
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: hurl something at me, we're probably okay because she's aware.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: So I did check. And then from that point forward,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I thought their interaction is going to be whatever you
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: make it. So if you decide to be awkward about
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: it'll be awkward. If you decide to be rude, it'll
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: be rude. But if you decide to be kind, caring
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: and attentive, that's the way it'll take it received. And
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: it was that's what she gave back to me, Well,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: I was really glad that we get to spend h
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: that I get to meet you in person. Right, There's
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: there's a quality about you obviously that's done. Um, that
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: there's a quality about you that displays a lot of wisdom.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I think this is just one, you know, for the
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: TikTok video that came in up. Fans watch it and
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: they react and they, like you said, they blow it up.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: They have their which tektok video because I keep having
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: more come out. Oh the one with the with Rachel
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: and Michelle, Well, the one that really got popular. Um.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: You know, but I always, especially on this show, like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to go to the behind the scenes and you just
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: explained it like your mental preparation, how you how you
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: prepared yourself to meet somebody that you didn't exactly know
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: how the response would be. And so there's a lot
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: of wisdom. Um, there's a lot of care um for
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: your mental state, uh and and how you handle yourself.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And it also displays in your newest project. And we're
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: gonna get to the show and this episode and we're
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: gonna you know, blab on about what happened on this episode.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I say, I got a lot a lot to talk
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: about Man and that show episode and it deals with
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: with it with the mental aspect side of it too,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: the mental health side. So I care, yeah your opinion, Yeah,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: well your perspective is going to be great. But before
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: we get to that, I do want to take a
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: second and highlight, um, a project that you just came
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: out with your book. Um, something that we got to
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: speak about out on the way to the golf course,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: something that matters and means a lot to you, that
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: you worked on very hard for a long time. So
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: just give your best promo and kind of what people
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: can expect out of this book before we get to
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: the opinions of the episode. Yeah, well, I put a
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: lot into that book. It took me nine months to write,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: so it was my baby basically, right, So, and it
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: really boils down to a story of how an individual
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: can go from self doubt to self belief and how
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: individuals can harness that hope that if I've went through that,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: then they can as well. So I open up and
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: just get very candid and try to destigmatize the conversations
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: around mental health. And the book is for anybody else
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: who is struggling with depression. Anxiety, comparison, culture, social media,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: cyber bowling. It's if anyone's going through a struggle in
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: their life and feels that they're walking down this path
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: that's a dark path, and they don't feel like they
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: can see the light, then, to me, this is what
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: that book's about. It's it's meant to show somebody, Hey,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I'm I was, I'm walking alongside you right now, you're
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: not alone in this. Uh. And and as you hear
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: my story, you may start to see these connections, and
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: then you'll be able to start pivoting the way that
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: you view your own reality, and then we can hopefully
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: get you to a place where you start to see
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: that light off in the distance and you start walking
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: toward it. So, um, that's essentially what the book is.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: In a nutshell, I've had to get really good at
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: trying to nutshell it because it's just so much that
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I'm passionate about that's in the book. But uh, it's
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: a story of self doubt to self belief and that
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: that that path and how to get there. Um and
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and just yeah, that's that's the best way I can
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: describe it. What's the name of the book? Where can
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: people pick it up and find it. I don't know
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: A agrees uh, And it's if you go on my Instagram,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I keep everything funnel there. Click on the link in
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: my bio and it'll take you to that Amazon link.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: It's on Amazon um for purchase. So to close here,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Why why is this topic important to you? I mean,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: it's obviously important for you personally. You saw that this
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: was your story. You wanted to work on things and
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: move through things and grow as a human. But why
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: do you I mean, why do you care if anybody
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: else does it? Because I think we're all more alike
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: than we realized. We all have these insecurities, but I
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: think where a lot of us struggle as we don't
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: address them, we just continue to suppress them. And the
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: more we suppress them, we don't know if anyone else
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: is going through it because we're not willing to have
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: the conversations. This will tie into the episode from last
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: night because it's I saw a lot of it and
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: it really hit home with me where I was relating
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: to a lot of the women relating to Zach as well,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: and where these insecurities can start to bubble up and
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: when you feel that you're not able to talk about
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: it because you're afraid of how it might be received.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Then you end up getting into your own head, you
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: end up projecting, you end up making these assumptions, and
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: you can't be your one hundred percent authentic self and
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: you either close off or you have an outburst of emotion.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: And so that's why I'm having these conversations. I thought
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: it was just very timely and and you know, to
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: watch the episode and to see this happening with a
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: few within the individuals and the show, and I thought,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: this is not just show related though, this is real
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: life related. Right. We oftentimes we struggle, but we just
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: don't talk about it. And if we did, we'd realize
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: that if you open up to the right people, it
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: brings you closer together, it doesn't tear you farther apart.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: So that's why I'm talking about it because I'm like, hey, guys,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: look look at me. I'm happy and after everything I
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: went through, and I'm opening up and I continue to do.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: So why am I opening up? Because I must be
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: getting some type of positive response and it's helping me.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: So that's if someone sees that, they go, well, maybe
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I can do it too. And everyone that I talked
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: to you. They do it and they feel a lot
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: better and they think, why didn't I open up years ago?
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: So that's why I'm having this conversation, just to get
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: more people to feel comfortable with doing it. Yeah, well
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: for me to you, you know my opinion. Um, we're
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: probably close to the same age. How do you twenty
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: nine three zero? Yeah, some thirty three okay, so we're
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: not too far apart. But you know, I've I was
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: young when I went on the show and have had
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: you know, six and a half seven years of going
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: through this process. And um, it's always interesting when you
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: get to meet a lead. We didn't get to speak
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: before your season, but it's always interesting for me when
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: when I get to meet the lead post show, because
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: things change. No matter if you believe there are going
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: to or not right, the criticism happens. That's part of
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: what you sign up for. You don't know it at
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: the time, but you sign up to be criticized, and
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: you sign up to be celebrated, and you signed up
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: to be critiqued. Then you sign up for all these
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: things because people watch the show for entertainment, and after
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: a while, you kind of just accept that because it happens,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: and it happens to Everybody's happened to me, it's happened
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: to you, it's happening to zac Um. But it's one
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: of the coolest questions that I get to hear somebody ask,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: or maybe I get to ask to a lead Bachelor
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: or Bachelor post show, is what do you want to
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: do with this? Like you have, necessarily, the world's not
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: your oyster right. You don't have every opportunity in the world.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna hire you to host the coolest, biggest show
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: on TV, and most of the time you have to
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: kind of figure out your own lane, which we talked
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: about as well. But the big question is what do
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: you want out of all of this or what do
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: you want the world to benefit from from you having
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: this platform? And it's it's incredible. Not everybody does it,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: and I didn't do it at first. I kind of
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: had to learn the hard way, but it's incredible to
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: see somebody a year out from their season, spending your
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: platform in your time to try to benefit not only
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: yourself but the fans and the people that have followed
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: your story and our interest in your story. So that's
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: kudos to you because the world will be a better
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: place because of this book and because of having these conversations.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: And I think that's a big deal. I was going
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: to ask you for me. I feel like I found
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: my why. Um, and it's really cool to have gotten
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: to that point. Did you did you feel like you
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: found your why after the show? It? Did it kind
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: of push you into figuring out who I am and
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: what I want in life? Or were you already did
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: you already know that prior to the show? Um? What
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: what did the show kind of do for you outcome wise?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: When when you came off it? Because I know I
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: know your backstory. I mean, I I guess I beat
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: your record a record. I wasn't trying to be. You
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: told two people that you love them, and I decided
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: to I decided to go to the extra mile. So, um,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: but I I know you're well. I heard you were
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: well received. But I mean, overall, what did the experience
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: do you afterwards? I mean, did you have to do
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: a deep dive as well and to your identity and
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: figure out like what am I going to take from
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: this and where do I go from here? It's a
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: great question. Um. At first, I became very excited about
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: the fame, and I didn't realize I was being excited
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: about the fame, right, You'd be invited to these red carpets,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: you'd be at these parties, you'd still be on the
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: cover of magazines. People will be talking about you. You'd
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: be getting emails every day and turning down opportunities, and
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: that slowly, not slowly, that quickly goes away, kind of like, yeah,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: it goes quick. But I was still doing cooler stuff
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: than I'd ever done before. And there was a moment
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: in time that it hit me. I was in an
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: airport after an event where I met I forget who
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: what actor. I think it was Samuel L. Jackson, And
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I called up my family and I was telling him
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: this and they were like, that's awesome, Like how was he?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, that's not the response I
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: was expecting. Like I don't know what I was expecting,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: but I was expecting you to think I was super
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: cool for being at the same party as Samuel L.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Jackson and like celebrating me because I was at the
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: same party and now I've made it, and like they didn't.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: And then I called my friends kind of expecting the
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: same response. And they didn't at all give me the
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: same response. They never could. They never cared about what
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I was doing. They just wanted to hang out and
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: watch football and group, yeah, I do. And I got
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: very lonely, and so I called up one of my buddies,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: who's a good counsel to me and a very wise friend,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: and I I was telling him my feelings and my
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: emotions here and like what I was expressing, and how
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: I was getting angry at my family and my friends
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: because they weren't celebrating me like I thought they should
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: or would. And he goes, Ben, what if this whole
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: thing was meant to be for something bigger than yourself?
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: What if this was never meant to be about you?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And that statement alone changed everything for me. Now, my work,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: my passions, and the things I really cared about existed
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: before the show. But what the show did was it
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: handed me a platform that allowed that why to be
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: kind of catalyzed to a bigger like purpose. And so
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: now I had this platform that wasn't about me standing
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: relevant and wasn't about me staying famous, and wasn't about
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: me making headlines. But now that platform allowed me to advocate,
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: to share, to connect to build community around things that
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I already had a purpose in, but I just didn't
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: feel like I can make the impact, Like I didn't
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: know what my impact was within those organizations or those
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: social causes until really the show and now I have,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: you know. Luckily, for me, I don't know where I
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: would have been without the show. Luckily, that platform has
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: handed me a the ability to have a skill set
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: like I can now, you know, with a push of
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: a button advocate on behappy people. So I think the
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: show helped me afterwards just feel like I had a
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: purpose in my why where I don't know. I hope
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I would have found that purpose without the show. I
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: think I could have. I just don't I don't know
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: how that journey would have looked. So Yeah, I mean
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: the show helped a lot in my why, but it
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: helped it was for the most part, it was it
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: was a growing process for me, which it sounds like
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: it is for you and you hope it is for
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: every person that comes off the show, cast, member, or
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: lead that the show helps them grow at some level. Yeah,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I think what I've seen in my own as I've
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: observed individuals as there's two ways you can go about it.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: You can become more egotistical because you can come off
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: the show and say I was the guy or the
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: gal and I'm the big time and everyone's been kissing
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: my butt and they'll continue to and I'm I'm up
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: here right. I've seen people just go completely through the
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: roof with their ego, and then I've seen other individuals
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: that have sacrificed to ego more than ever. They they
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: see it and they say, this is bigger than me.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: You know, this is what I have now, I'm grateful for.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: But I'm going to stay humbled and I'm going to
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: be able to use this for good however it may go.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: So it's hard, though, I don't blame anybody for getting
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: a little egotistical. When everyone's patting you on the back
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: and you're getting all these backstage events and everyone's telling
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: you how great you are and how you know you're
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: you're you know what doesn't stink, and everyone's just right
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: there beside you, and so you get pumped up, pump
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: up up, pump up. You're used to it, and then
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like you said, it gets pulled
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: out from you under you very quickly, and then you
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: start to question like, well, am I just not who
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I used to be? Am I not worthy of that
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: those compliments anymore? In reality was is people were probably
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: pushing you up a little bit more than what you know.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: They probably treated you a little bit more in a
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: higher regard than like what they maybe should have, because
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: it was all a lot of those individuals who just
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: around you and maybe want to be in the same
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: room as you. But to your point, you know you
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: got good friends when the entire time they're just like,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I don't care, man, let's watch football. I don't want
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: to want. I don't care about the fact that you
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: met so and so or that you got this back.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: That's cool, buddy, But like you know, let's just talk life.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: But it's hard because you, as the lead, you balance
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: that of you know, everyone puts me up here, So
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: where do I land? Am I up here? Or am
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I here? Where do I? Where do I fit? And
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: what are the expectations of me? Too? And there seems
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: like there's so many especially being the lead, it's like
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: perfection or nothing. If you're not perfect, good luck. And
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: we can jump into that because I know we were
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: talking about it. We'll talk about it coming up here,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: but I've was you know, I've seen some of the
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: things that he's done and people have ripped him to
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: shreds for and I'm opinionated on that and I got
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: something to say about it when we get to that point,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: because I'm like, what do you expect out of someone
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: to be perfect for two months? I mean, I'd love
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: to see the relationships of everybody that seems to be
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: condemning individuals, because I'm like, let's put a camera on
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: you for two months and see if if we catch
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: you at your lowest moment one time. Chances Sorry, we
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: got sixty days to do so I'm sure we can. Yeah. Well,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: as we've teased, we're going to you can you can
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: follow in the almost famous thread right after this episode,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: we're going to break down the Bachelor and the Bachelor headlines.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: It's going to be great, And I'm gonna try to
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: play in that episode a little Devil's advocate to you
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: because i want you to come at the positive perspective
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna push you a little bit so that
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: we can really get to understand what it's like to
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: be the lead and the good and the bad and
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: the uglies and where you can mess up with all that.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I'm excited to do that with you. I haven't done
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: it with a with a co bachelor in a long time.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: But a final question for you on our little catch
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: up here, Clayton, something else I've respected about you that
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I've watched from a distance is something that I can't
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: claim to have had. I don't have a bad relationship
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: with Lauren my X from the show. We have a
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: good relationship right He's married, two kids, and I'm married,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: and we're living our two separate lengths. But there hasn't
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: been really a place in time where there's been mutual
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: public support. We never like really healed. We just kind
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: of moved on, which is good and fine for where
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: we're at now. But you and Susie seemed to support
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: each other in a humorous way, also in a very
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: real way, in a way that seems very healthy to me,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: like something I'm learning from from an outsider, and it's
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: convicting me in a lot of ways that I wish
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I would have maybe done things differently, or at least
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: tried to do things differently. So if you can, obviously
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: people care and want to know what is your relationship
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: like with Susie today and also within that if you
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: could speak to how you got to the Police of health, um,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: so that you could be like you two are today,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: How in the world did that happen? And was it
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: intentional and unintentional? Just give us some insight. Yeah, you know,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I think it took a conscious effort and decision to
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: decide how are we going to move forward with this?
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I think when you when you experience a breakup, there's
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: so much pain that's involved, right, and usually we're at
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: the height of our emotions, and that's when we can
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: say things we don't mean we can we can go
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: down this this dark path of attacking because we're hurt, right, Like,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: we feel that a part of us was stripped from
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: us when we weren't ready for it to be taken,
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: and so and then we start to think, well, what
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: did I do wrong? It must have been my fault. Well,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: then we'll go from that to well, no, it's not me,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: it's them, they're the problem. And then it doesn't help
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: that we have friends and family that say they don't
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: know what they're looking for, they're missing out on a
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: good person, and so then they validate, they validate that
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: that belief of it's not my fault, it's their fault.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: And so then you start to think about all the
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: things that they did that you didn't like, and you go, yeah,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: they're not worthy, and so then you start to think, well, yeah,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: this is their fault. And I think that's where in
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: the past I've had this with relationships where then I
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: start to point the finger. Somebody asked me why, you know,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: why why did so and so and you not work
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: out because she had this issue or she did this
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: and I couldn't put up with it. But I didn't
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: like that. I never when I did that in my
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: past relationships, I always felt that I harbored this motion,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: that I could never let go of it, and it hurts,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: and it closed me off to other relationships because I thought,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go back to that. I don't
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: want to experience that again. So then I thought, let
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: me reframe this. How what is it I feel like
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I should be able to walk away from a relationship
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: and be grateful, because why do we have this negative
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: view point on somebody that we spend years of our
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: life with and all of a a sudden we act like
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: we hate them and we have nothing but bad things
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: to say about them. It's like, what about all the
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: good times you had three years or however many, how
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: long it was, how about all the good times? You
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: stayed with him for a reason. You loved him for
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: a reason, You fell in love with him for a reason,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: So what are those reasons? And I think for me,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I started to think about all that with Susie. I
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: thought why did I fall in love with this woman?
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: And I remember I always thought every time I was
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: around her, she made me want to be a better person,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: and so I every time I woke up, I was
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: trying to be a better version of myself. And she
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: pushed me, and she held me accountable, and she was
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: there and consoled me when I needed it. And there's
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: so many things. I could sit here for an hour
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: and say all the things that she did for me,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: But I had to reflect upon that every time I
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: would get emotional and think why did this not work
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: out between us? Why couldn't you try harder to make
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: this work? I had to take a step back and think,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: everything happens for a reason. I believe in that. But
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: understand all the things that she did for you, and
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't be the person you are today if it
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: wasn't for her. And so I kept when I had
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: negative self talk, I kept instantly putting positive self talk in.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: I was like, second I had a negative thought about it,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like, nope, nope, nope, don't replace that. And I
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: kept fighting it until finally I thought, you know what,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I am a legitimately better person because of her, and
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: if I would have never met her, I would not
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: be half the person I am today. And then I
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: thought back to my other relationships previously, and I thought, well,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: she taught me, you know, the she taught me manners. This,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: this girl taught me the power of chivalry. This this
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: she taught me the ability to show my emotions and
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: open up. And so I thought, you know, there's all
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: this positive things that I've I've taken from people in
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: my life. I just need to remember those when I
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: remember that person, so I have a positive association with them.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: And then what I found was all the negativity that
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I heart harbored m was just pain. But really I
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: let it all go. And so when I think of
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: my exes now, I think all the lessons they taught me,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: not the pain that they caused me. And that's why
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: I can always have a positive outlook on them and
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I can speak highly of them because the first when
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: you say Susie, I think of all the things she
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: did for me, not all the pain she caused me.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: And so that reframe has been critical, and I've been
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: really grateful to have learned that, because now I mean
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I'm her biggest supporter, and I'll be you know, I'll
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: be anyone else's bigges supporter that I've crossed paths in
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: the past, because I'm like, you helped me now, I
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: want to be able to help you, and if I
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: can build you up, I'm here for it. Because that
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: positivity is contagious and otherwise more angry harbor. It just
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: eats at you. And I got tired of that anger
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: eating at me. It made me a miserable person. How
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: in the world do you do that? Then? With the
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: girl that said on TikTok that she met you one
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: night on a couch or something, how in the world
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: do you bring that positive perspective into that situation? You know,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: I guess I should say this in a fantasy land
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: there you would love to have there always be a
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: positive that comes out of every situation, right I'm not
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: trying to tell people there's I think there's such thing
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: as like overdoing it, and there's a there's a term
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: I'm just blanking on it when you are overtly positive
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: and it's like you're just trying to force positivity. I'm
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: not saying that everyone should just be like, oh, this
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: really bad circumstance to happen to me. I need to
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: find the positive. No, we should like sometimes there are
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: just some unfortunate situations that happened to us, you know.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: I think though, in that it's circumstance. With that girl,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: it taught me a lesson that there that people come
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: from all different backgrounds and you have to understand that
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: everyone you interact with has a different mindset. For me,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: it taught me that to practice, you know, forgiveness. She
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: taught me the power forgiveness because I thought, you know what,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: this girl is out of line. But she's also young,
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: she's immature, and you know, five years from now, she
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: won't be hopefully the same person. She'll look back and
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: be like, yeah, you know, second thought, I probably shouldn't
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: have done that. And so for me, that's the lesson
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: she taught me was I need to look at people
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: and give them grace and understand that you know what, hey,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you did this. It was dumb, whether or not I
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: believe like you actually believe it was me or you
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: just made it up. One day, you know, I thought
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: maybe she possibly made it up for just more more,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: you know, more followers. But one day she'll look back
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: at that and be like, you know, I wish I
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have done that, and so and I feel bad
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: for it. And so I try to see people as
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: not just one fixed point in time, but you know,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: how this individual can be over the how they can
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: grow the same way I did. And I'm like, you know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: people make mistakes. I should just forgive them for it,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: unless they continue to make the same mistake at some
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: point you say, okay, that's just who you are. But
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, forgiveness is what that situation taught me.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Because I was angry. I mean I really want I
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: wanted to I wanted to see her to the high heavens,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: like I was so ready to bury her. But then
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: I had to step back and go Clayton again, your emotion,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: you want to bury her? How are you going to
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: feel about that? If you ruin her? If you ruin
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: her and subject her to all that pain and everyone
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: comes in her DMS and starts telling her how how
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: terrible she is. Now you've impacted her her health negatively,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: and you don't want that. So it helped me. She
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: taught me to kind of like step back and let
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: my emotions subside and then make a judgment. Call man,
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: the last year has been a big year for you.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be a good year for so many who
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: pick up this book and just continue to follow along
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: with you. But it's been a big year. Um. It
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: sounds like from me from my perspective on growth and
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: understanding and forgiveness and positivity and all these things that, yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: you know, I would think that you look back on
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: years from now and be like, I'm glad I went
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: through that season. Even you know there's some unfortunate parts,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: but I'm glad I went through that season because I'm
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: guessing that your your impact is going to be great
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: thousand percent. Yeah. I the person I am today is
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: because of everything I went through, so very grateful, um,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: and and so much positivity I had so ben I know,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I got I know, I got asked the co host,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: So I really feel like I'm gonna start firing questions
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: off of you, so we're gonna we're gonna balance this
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: thing back out here. I appreciate you checking in on me,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: but I think, uh, it was that was the final question.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I think it's time for us to do a little
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: deep dive and to talk some bachelors. Man, all right,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: I felt I feel took me. It took me back.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I kind of, I kind of felt a little. I
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: was like, WHOA, this is weird watching the show again.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about this. Yeah, we
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: are going to balance the act after this episode, which
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: ends right now, tune into the next episode to hear
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Clayton and I Clayton being positive, me being critical of
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: this season of The Bachelor. Follow the Benn and Ashley
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I Almost Famous podcasts on iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: listen to podcasts.