Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / S8 E6 Getting into It with Ashley Spivey and Tanner Tolbert
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
- 0:03Speaker 1: with i R Radio. What a big podcast we have
- 0:08Speaker 1: coming up. As I'm a little nervous because you had
- 0:13Speaker 1: a very I will still want to say life altering
- 0:18Speaker 1: conversation with a Bachelor alum a week and a half ago.
- 0:21Speaker 1: I wasn't here last week, but you briefly brought it up.
- 0:24Speaker 1: You had a little bit of a Twitter war with
- 0:27Speaker 1: Ashley Spivy. I think it's fair to say life altering.
- 0:30Speaker 1: I feel it feels life altering. It hasn't left my
- 0:34Speaker 1: mind since it's happened, in both good and bad ways. Yeah,
- 0:37Speaker 1: I think you're spot on. Okay, Well, if people don't know,
- 0:40Speaker 1: Ashley Spivy was on Bradwallmack season, which is the first
- 0:43Speaker 1: season I started watching. And while she hasn't been like
- 0:48Speaker 1: a big you know, she didn't make a big splash
- 0:51Speaker 1: on her season, she's certainly made a big splash on Twitter.
- 0:56Speaker 1: Over the past couple of years. She's worked hand in
- 0:58Speaker 1: hand with reality Steve Lot and is broken a lot
- 1:01Speaker 1: of stories in Bachelor Nation, including the whole Garrit controversy
- 1:06Speaker 1: and his like instagrams, and now she has tweeted at
- 1:10Speaker 1: you something I want to say it's kind of political. Um,
- 1:15Speaker 1: it's something about well, well, Ben, why don't you explain
- 1:21Speaker 1: what she went after you last week? It's it's pretty
- 1:24Speaker 1: holistic actually, as we as we think about it. So
- 1:28Speaker 1: last week there there's just a lot right now, and
- 1:32Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if in today's age, I
- 1:34Speaker 1: think we can throw around words and we can get
- 1:37Speaker 1: stuck in things and say, oh this in today's age,
- 1:39Speaker 1: were more divisive than ever, not only in religion but
- 1:42Speaker 1: politics and faith and friend groups whatever. It just feels
- 1:45Speaker 1: like there's a lot of divisiveness, and I think at
- 1:47Speaker 1: some level that is true. But we've always had divisiveness,
- 1:50Speaker 1: right you go back to the Civil War, there's been
- 1:52Speaker 1: divisiveness that the country was against each other. And so
- 1:55Speaker 1: what I can control are are it's kind of what
- 1:58Speaker 1: I believe is the solution to this divisiveness. And so
- 2:02Speaker 1: I was laying in bed on let's see here. I
- 2:05Speaker 1: think it was Saturday morning because I was also leg
- 2:08Speaker 1: in bed when I saw these tweets. Yeah, it was
- 2:11Speaker 1: ten eleven, two thousand eighteen, and I tweeted the only
- 2:14Speaker 1: thing I know, and I think anybody out there listening,
- 2:17Speaker 1: my understand where I'm coming from on this, but as
- 2:18Speaker 1: a Christian, I believe that Christianity has been uh terribly
- 2:23Speaker 1: represented in recent years. I believe that we no longer
- 2:26Speaker 1: are focusing on how to accept love and support people
- 2:30Speaker 1: and serve people well. But instead, somehow evangelicals have been
- 2:33Speaker 1: associated with pushing people aside, hating on people, um, bigotry,
- 2:38Speaker 1: and and supporting almost injustice. It's weird to me, but
- 2:41Speaker 1: I know Jesus wouldn't stand for it. And so I
- 2:43Speaker 1: was sitting in bed. I was like, w how do
- 2:44Speaker 1: I as a Christian confront the darkness and the divisiveness
- 2:48Speaker 1: that feels like it's existing in our world today? And
- 2:51Speaker 1: I did this. Sweet It says, we all believe a
- 2:53Speaker 1: bunch of different things, referring pretty much to my faith
- 2:56Speaker 1: in my background, and we all have our incredibly valid reasons.
- 3:00Speaker 1: Were that? But then I said, no matter what you believe,
- 3:03Speaker 1: can we all agree that light conquers darkness? And I said,
- 3:06Speaker 1: darkness equals hate, bigotry, and justice, inequality, etcetera. Those things
- 3:11Speaker 1: will never conquer the light. And I believe this. I
- 3:16Speaker 1: still believe this to this day. I believe that the
- 3:18Speaker 1: only way to confront evil and to really solve the
- 3:24Speaker 1: most evil questions that we have in the world today
- 3:26Speaker 1: is by sharing light, by shedding light, by showing love,
- 3:29Speaker 1: by showing kindness, by sacrificing almost everything for the sake
- 3:34Speaker 1: of service and love. So so yeah, I mean I
- 3:38Speaker 1: read that and I was like, Oh, that's a nice
- 3:39Speaker 1: little message of hope. You know, it's a nice today. Yeah,
- 3:44Speaker 1: on Twitter, best I can do on Twitter. And I
- 3:46Speaker 1: believe this, But not everyone thought that statement was as
- 3:50Speaker 1: simple as I did. Not everybody did. Ashley Spyby was
- 3:53Speaker 1: one of those. She tweeted back and she said this.
- 3:56Speaker 1: I cannot quote her, uh quote verbatim because it has deleted,
- 4:01Speaker 1: but it said, um, it referred to me coming from
- 4:04Speaker 1: a place of white privilege, and I can't help where
- 4:07Speaker 1: I came from. I can't hope that I'm white. I
- 4:09Speaker 1: can't help that my dad has done very well for himself,
- 4:11Speaker 1: and I'm really proud of him for that, and I
- 4:13Speaker 1: can't help that A lot of these situations that I'm
- 4:15Speaker 1: talking about, I don't understand. But what I do know
- 4:18Speaker 1: is my job is to support people in Honduras and
- 4:23Speaker 1: in Africa and here in the United States who have
- 4:26Speaker 1: been um a part of injustices who have had less
- 4:31Speaker 1: opportunities than I have. My my job is to try
- 4:34Speaker 1: and find ways to relate to their situations so that
- 4:37Speaker 1: we can come up with sustainable solutions to help their
- 4:41Speaker 1: lives increase get to a better place. And so I
- 4:45Speaker 1: don't think I was the right target for this. There's
- 4:47Speaker 1: not a lot of things I would say I do well.
- 4:49Speaker 1: One of those things is that one of the things
- 4:51Speaker 1: in life I do do well is at least attempting
- 4:54Speaker 1: to understand people who maybe aren't as fortunate as I
- 4:58Speaker 1: have been. Um, do think I do that? All right?
- 5:01Speaker 1: That's what I do. You can't do. I think you
- 5:02Speaker 1: do a fantastic job with it. You and Ashley actually
- 5:05Speaker 1: got on the phone after a couple back and forth
- 5:07Speaker 1: messages on Twitter, and while you have talked before, we're
- 5:11Speaker 1: also going to have her come on the podcast today
- 5:14Speaker 1: and you're gonna talk it out a little bit more
- 5:16Speaker 1: and explain to people what you guys have learned about
- 5:19Speaker 1: each other. Well your spot on Ashley and I. You know,
- 5:22Speaker 1: we have talked, uh mostly about the tweets and about
- 5:26Speaker 1: the situation, but we've saved a lot for this podcast.
- 5:29Speaker 1: I think when it comes to actionable steps when it
- 5:31Speaker 1: comes to ways for me to be able to get involved,
- 5:33Speaker 1: for anybody out there listening to get involved. For really
- 5:36Speaker 1: the details of where this comes comes from from for
- 5:39Speaker 1: Ashley's and from from Ashley is the things we haven't
- 5:42Speaker 1: talked about yet. We really wanted to save it to
- 5:44Speaker 1: speak publicly. And the reason we want to do that
- 5:46Speaker 1: is because as we were continuing to talk afterwards on
- 5:48Speaker 1: the phone, it felt like we could understand each other more.
- 5:52Speaker 1: But this is something that needs to be spread to
- 5:54Speaker 1: a platform, and what better platform than the Almost Famous
- 5:57Speaker 1: podcast because we have listeners who can here. Before we
- 6:01Speaker 1: bring Ashley on, I do want to take a second
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- 6:53Speaker 1: times this year and couple times I heard, so they
- 6:59Speaker 1: can't get you to be Bachelor, but they can have
- 7:01Speaker 1: you come back for plenty of cameos a little less
- 7:04Speaker 1: of a commitment and uh and prep for the film
- 7:08Speaker 1: of the show, because I mean, if I'm only gonna
- 7:10Speaker 1: be on a couple of times, I've got to make
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- 8:28Speaker 1: into our code Famous. Today, Hey Ashley, I can eddie. Yeah,
- 8:33Speaker 1: before we we you, we bring on Ashley Spivey. I
- 8:36Speaker 1: do have one question because we have a busy podcast today,
- 8:40Speaker 1: huge guests coming on are as evil is good for you?
- 8:44Speaker 1: Yeah they are, They are good for you. I can't
- 8:46Speaker 1: say I've really ever had one, though, but I am
- 8:50Speaker 1: sorry to take care of my inside it's a little
- 8:52Speaker 1: bit better. Like you're trying to take care of your
- 8:54Speaker 1: outside is a little bit better. Yeah, we have been
- 8:59Speaker 1: away from l A for like twelve days now, and
- 9:01Speaker 1: I've just been eating like crap. I couldn't wait to
- 9:03Speaker 1: come home and cook some home cooking with Blue Apron.
- 9:07Speaker 1: Blue Apron their mission is to make incredible home cooking
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- 9:25Speaker 1: does the meal prep for you, and you get dinner
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- 9:58Speaker 1: So check out this week's menu and get your first
- 10:00Speaker 1: three meals for free. A home A home cooked meal
- 10:04Speaker 1: sounds so good right now I'm starving, and it just
- 10:08Speaker 1: really makes a difference too. And I like the way
- 10:10Speaker 1: that these are seasonally inspired, so you're gonna get like
- 10:12Speaker 1: fall recipes for fall, like pumpkin and squash and all
- 10:17Speaker 1: that good stuff. So you can check out this week's men.
- 10:19Speaker 1: You can get your first three meals for free at
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- 10:26Speaker 1: meals for free. Guys, why wouldn't you do that? It's
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- 10:32Speaker 1: three meals for free. Blue Apron a better way to cook.
- 10:36Speaker 1: I like that one, Ashley. You're you're killing it there.
- 10:39Speaker 1: Um I meant it though, I feel like nowadays and
- 10:44Speaker 1: and this is no longer about blue Apron, it kind
- 10:46Speaker 1: of yes, everything you eat that you think is good
- 10:50Speaker 1: for you is actually bad for you at some level.
- 10:51Speaker 1: Like bols I was in getting an e bowl this morning,
- 10:55Speaker 1: somebody in line go I was like, Oh, I just
- 10:57Speaker 1: need some something healthy. They had really want to just
- 11:03Speaker 1: this could be an angry post watering a little bit.
- 11:06Speaker 1: They looked at me and they said, you realize this
- 11:07Speaker 1: has more sugar than pop And I was like, you
- 11:10Speaker 1: gotta be joking me, Like I literally came all the way.
- 11:14Speaker 1: I drove ten minutes to Dinna say ebol because I
- 11:16Speaker 1: was trying to look healthy, feel healthy, be healthy, and
- 11:18Speaker 1: you're going to ruin this for me. Little person who's
- 11:21Speaker 1: standing in front of me. He's really gonna make me
- 11:23Speaker 1: angry before podcast, um, because I don't know if anything
- 11:27Speaker 1: is healthy anymore. I know Blue nothing is like healthy Analyst.
- 11:31Speaker 1: You're eating Rob Rockley, you know there's something wrong with everything.
- 11:35Speaker 1: But but Blue Apron is going to really try your
- 11:37Speaker 1: best to make something tasty and healthy I know. Anyways,
- 11:41Speaker 1: we're about to get deep now. Ashley Spivey is about
- 11:44Speaker 1: to come on, and I just want to let you
- 11:46Speaker 1: know that at the end of this podcast, we're also
- 11:48Speaker 1: going to be talking about the disappearance of Wills Wills.
- 11:51Speaker 1: That's right, not Wells Wills. And then um, we're gonna
- 11:54Speaker 1: have Tanner Tolberg come on to talk about how he's
- 11:57Speaker 1: officiating the wedding and some of you out there, yeah,
- 11:59Speaker 1: some if you were mad at me because I had
- 12:02Speaker 1: once upon a time said something like Ben was going
- 12:04Speaker 1: to officiate, but now Tanners. We're gonna talk about that later,
- 12:08Speaker 1: but first up, we're gonna talk to Ashley Spivy. Ashley,
- 12:12Speaker 1: are you out there? I am Ashley Spivey. Thank you
- 12:16Speaker 1: for joining the Almost Famous podcast. Of course, thanks for
- 12:20Speaker 1: having me. Actually, my co host, Ashley Eddie is sitting
- 12:26Speaker 1: in studio as well. UM, we were really are thrilled
- 12:29Speaker 1: to have you. You've had a ton of responses this
- 12:31Speaker 1: week since kind of announcing that you and I would
- 12:34Speaker 1: be talking on this podcast. Uh, this week, I've already
- 12:38Speaker 1: introduced who you are, how people know you, and then
- 12:42Speaker 1: also the situation at hand. So I think it's best
- 12:46Speaker 1: if we just dive into this. UM. I really want
- 12:49Speaker 1: to hear when you read my tweet what kind of
- 12:53Speaker 1: set you off, And I want you to be as
- 12:55Speaker 1: open and honest. You and I have talked this through, UM,
- 12:59Speaker 1: but I want you to be as open as honest
- 13:00Speaker 1: as possible, because I think the fans and the listeners
- 13:03Speaker 1: of this really kind of needed to relate with your
- 13:06Speaker 1: emotions and why you decided to tweet me. UM, for sure,
- 13:10Speaker 1: And first of all, I just want to say, uh,
- 13:14Speaker 1: thank you for having me on after uh what did happen?
- 13:18Speaker 1: On Twitter? I I do hope that me talking about
- 13:21Speaker 1: it at least start providing some background, what kind of
- 13:24Speaker 1: help people know where my head was at when I
- 13:29Speaker 1: read your tweet. I had just come out a particularly
- 13:34Speaker 1: ros three weeks with the kabinetic hearings and everything like that.
- 13:39Speaker 1: It was very triggering to me as a sexual assault survivor. UM.
- 13:45Speaker 1: I'm not sure if y'all have ever heard me talk
- 13:48Speaker 1: about it or read me talk about it, I'll be
- 13:51Speaker 1: talking about it. But I am in college kind of
- 13:56Speaker 1: experienced something similar to dr Ford. I went to the
- 14:01Speaker 1: College of my dreams. UM, I was drunk at a
- 14:06Speaker 1: fraternity event and raped. UM. I you know, I don't
- 14:14Speaker 1: remember anything that happened, UM luckily, but I do know
- 14:19Speaker 1: that it happened due to some witnesses account and the
- 14:23Speaker 1: way I felt the next day. UM. I'm pretty sure
- 14:28Speaker 1: anyone out there who has been right to tell you
- 14:31Speaker 1: I don't we know the next day. UM. So how
- 14:38Speaker 1: to explain this why my feelings on the matter, UM
- 14:44Speaker 1: are definitely impacted by the situation that I went through. UM.
- 14:49Speaker 1: Going to that school, I had a full scholarship. I
- 14:53Speaker 1: was very excited to go there for the next four
- 14:55Speaker 1: years of my life. After that, I went robbed that
- 15:00Speaker 1: experience because I no longer felt face at that environment. UM,
- 15:05Speaker 1: I became very sick. I became very depressed. I decided
- 15:10Speaker 1: to leave that school. UM due to everything that happened.
- 15:14Speaker 1: He was my dad was also an alumni of that
- 15:19Speaker 1: college as well. He became pretty upset at me due
- 15:23Speaker 1: to me leaving because I think, you know, I was
- 15:26Speaker 1: kind of continuing continuing on UM in his dreams, you know,
- 15:32Speaker 1: but I decided to leave the school. He became pretty
- 15:36Speaker 1: upset at me. I felt like I could never tell
- 15:39Speaker 1: him kind of what happened, just because I wasn't ready
- 15:44Speaker 1: to tell anyone at that point and I didn't want
- 15:46Speaker 1: him to know what had happened to me. And probably
- 15:50Speaker 1: about a year and a half later, he passed away
- 15:53Speaker 1: with me being able sorry, I'm trying to you're right,
- 16:00Speaker 1: without me being able to tell him why I left,
- 16:04Speaker 1: and UM, he was always this very upset and confused
- 16:10Speaker 1: I think about me leaving. I'm so sorry, and I
- 16:17Speaker 1: I don't even want you to think I'm telling you
- 16:19Speaker 1: this story for sympathy, but I want people to know that, UM,
- 16:26Speaker 1: when women were going through the the past months, just
- 16:30Speaker 1: with everything that's been going on, it's been triggering. And
- 16:36Speaker 1: when I saw you talk about light and darkness, UM,
- 16:41Speaker 1: I just I find it hard two look for the
- 16:46Speaker 1: light in this type of situation. UM, And with everything
- 16:53Speaker 1: that went on, it just seems like the darkness is
- 16:56Speaker 1: consuming UM. And I think when I'm angry, or when
- 17:03Speaker 1: anyone is angry, they do not pick their words out.
- 17:07Speaker 1: And I think that I did cross a couple of
- 17:13Speaker 1: lines and the things that I said. UM. I don't
- 17:17Speaker 1: apologize for my anger, but I apologize for the way
- 17:21Speaker 1: that I worded things, and I apologize for my misdirected grade. UM.
- 17:28Speaker 1: But I just hope that and sharing that with y'all
- 17:32Speaker 1: you understand where I'm coming from. And and also and
- 17:36Speaker 1: sharing my story, which I think is important to do
- 17:40Speaker 1: in that learnation, just because a large majority of the
- 17:45Speaker 1: audience as women, women under thirties, who are the the
- 17:51Speaker 1: people that are experiencing the most UM situations of sexual assault.
- 17:58Speaker 1: I think it's important to share these stories and for
- 18:02Speaker 1: our audience to know that there are outlies out there
- 18:06Speaker 1: for them, and there are people who they can talk to.
- 18:09Speaker 1: UM if they have experienced kind of a similar situation,
- 18:15Speaker 1: you know this is and we again, we we talked
- 18:19Speaker 1: about the background everything, and you know, Ashley did something
- 18:24Speaker 1: incredible after these tweets kind of blew up and she
- 18:29Speaker 1: sent me uh an Instagram message and just asked if
- 18:33Speaker 1: we could talk in the phone because at that point
- 18:35Speaker 1: it gotten out of control and I was being compared
- 18:38Speaker 1: to people that I hope to never be compared with
- 18:40Speaker 1: and associated with people that I hope to never be
- 18:41Speaker 1: associated with. And I think at that point, actually you
- 18:45Speaker 1: had seen that and thought I thought this was something
- 18:47Speaker 1: that we need to talk about, um together and so
- 18:50Speaker 1: and so we talked on the phone and all I
- 18:54Speaker 1: all I really want to do is here where actually
- 18:57Speaker 1: was coming from similar to what just happened there, UM
- 19:00Speaker 1: to hear her story and she wanted to hear mine.
- 19:02Speaker 1: And and what we realize is we both actually has
- 19:05Speaker 1: been a victim. And I have somebody that's one of
- 19:07Speaker 1: the closest people in my lives who is also a
- 19:11Speaker 1: victim of sexual assault and rape and it has affected
- 19:15Speaker 1: her life for a really long time. And and and
- 19:23Speaker 1: it's an odd scenario when somebody doesn't feel like there's
- 19:28Speaker 1: a place to talk about it. Um, it carries a burden,
- 19:32Speaker 1: that is something that allows um some asshole to control
- 19:38Speaker 1: you for too long. And so talking to Ashley, we
- 19:43Speaker 1: realize we're on the same team, and that's why I
- 19:46Speaker 1: wanted to have her on this podcast this year. She's angry,
- 19:49Speaker 1: she's piste off, and yes, it came towards me, and
- 19:52Speaker 1: I'm not happy with her about that. She knows that,
- 19:57Speaker 1: but it's allowed us the it's allowed us now the
- 20:02Speaker 1: platform to speak about it. Uh. And so I wanted
- 20:05Speaker 1: actually to come on here and have a platform because
- 20:08Speaker 1: almost famous listeners you are. You're incredible listeners. Uh. You
- 20:14Speaker 1: you have really strong opinions. UM. You engage in our
- 20:18Speaker 1: conversations every time, no matter we're talking about the Bachelor
- 20:22Speaker 1: or we're talking about something that's actually really serious. And
- 20:27Speaker 1: so actually I want to now spend time now that
- 20:29Speaker 1: we're both in the same team. You realize that I'm
- 20:32Speaker 1: really unhappy that I was associated to anything happening in
- 20:35Speaker 1: this world, but I'm also really glad now we have
- 20:37Speaker 1: the platform to talk about it. I want to spend
- 20:39Speaker 1: some time just asking asking you a few questions. Uh,
- 20:43Speaker 1: for anybody out there listening to this podcast saying Hey,
- 20:46Speaker 1: I've been there also, UM, I can relate. I want
- 20:52Speaker 1: to just have you take some time to be their advocate.
- 20:55Speaker 1: So Ashley, based on your situation, him, what advice do
- 21:02Speaker 1: you give to any young person out there struggling as
- 21:06Speaker 1: a victim of sexual assault? My My first piece of
- 21:12Speaker 1: advice was would be to talk to someone, whether it's
- 21:17Speaker 1: a friend, a family member, a therapist. UM, you don't
- 21:23Speaker 1: have to be in this situation alone, and you don't
- 21:26Speaker 1: have anything to be ashamed of. It isn't no way
- 21:29Speaker 1: your fault what happened to you. UM. The sooner you
- 21:34Speaker 1: try to deal with the issues that are going to
- 21:37Speaker 1: arise from this traumatic event, UM, the easier it will
- 21:42Speaker 1: be too kill from this trauma. UM. You definitely don't
- 21:49Speaker 1: have to stuffer alone. UM. I know that sometimes it
- 21:53Speaker 1: can be hard to tell friends or family members Like
- 21:56Speaker 1: I mean, I still haven't, um necessarily even had a
- 22:01Speaker 1: conversation with my mom about it. UM, just because even
- 22:06Speaker 1: at this point it seems just too hard. But I
- 22:11Speaker 1: have been able to speak with a therapist for years.
- 22:15Speaker 1: I have been able to talk to my friends of
- 22:19Speaker 1: my husband is very very supportive. UM, so definitely talk
- 22:25Speaker 1: about it. It helps. We're going to at the end
- 22:28Speaker 1: of this little segment, Ashley Uh and I have UM
- 22:33Speaker 1: we want to focus some attention on a couple of
- 22:35Speaker 1: the organizations out there that you can talk to. We've
- 22:38Speaker 1: picked those out and I'll explain does it a little
- 22:39Speaker 1: bit but but to continue to kind of dive into
- 22:43Speaker 1: this a little bit, actually we've you know, my tweet,
- 22:47Speaker 1: as mentioned before, was focused on being the light in
- 22:49Speaker 1: a dark world and trying to shine a light in
- 22:52Speaker 1: some dark places. I do still strongly believe that that
- 22:55Speaker 1: is the only way to overcome um evil is with
- 23:00Speaker 1: good and with light. And I know that you have
- 23:03Speaker 1: some more tangible you know, because I think one of
- 23:05Speaker 1: ther biggest complaints to me, and I get it, was
- 23:08Speaker 1: that they're very big, fluffy words. I was starring around,
- 23:10Speaker 1: right that can that just seem like they're coming from
- 23:13Speaker 1: a place of um of not heard of, not understanding,
- 23:17Speaker 1: of unrelatability. And I think once we talk, you realize
- 23:19Speaker 1: that maybe could uh not personally relate, but I know
- 23:23Speaker 1: somebody very close to me that can um And so
- 23:26Speaker 1: those words were not light. You know, they have a
- 23:29Speaker 1: meaning behind them, and I want to hear from you,
- 23:32Speaker 1: what are some ways when you say heal from this situation,
- 23:35Speaker 1: what are some ways that you've been pointed or that's
- 23:37Speaker 1: helped you heal from something so traumatic. I think by
- 23:43Speaker 1: just trying to educate everyone around you on the statistics
- 23:49Speaker 1: of how often these events occur, um, and how you
- 23:54Speaker 1: can be a better ally to people who have been
- 23:59Speaker 1: in these types of situations. I think that was the
- 24:02Speaker 1: thing that would the hardest to deal with in the
- 24:05Speaker 1: past couple of weeks is seeing how people respond to
- 24:10Speaker 1: a survivor's story or a victims story, um by not
- 24:14Speaker 1: believing them and by making some false parallels um. I.
- 24:24Speaker 1: I just really feel like the more education we get
- 24:28Speaker 1: out there, and the more we talk about this subject,
- 24:30Speaker 1: and the more we tie to be empathetic and just listen. Um.
- 24:36Speaker 1: You don't automatically have to arrive at a conclusion by
- 24:40Speaker 1: listening to a survivor's story. Just being there for that
- 24:44Speaker 1: person to, you know, tell you their story is going
- 24:49Speaker 1: to make all the difference in the world. And I
- 24:52Speaker 1: think that's a big thing behind the whole Believe women
- 24:57Speaker 1: or Believe survivors is that is we want to be
- 25:01Speaker 1: able to tell our stories without fear of being told
- 25:06Speaker 1: that we're making a false accusation or not being believed.
- 25:10Speaker 1: What do you what are the some of the things
- 25:12Speaker 1: as you see this, and you've stud pretty deep into
- 25:16Speaker 1: um this being your mission and your your passion and
- 25:20Speaker 1: kind of your purpose, what are some of the reasons
- 25:23Speaker 1: that you see on why people aren't believing the victims?
- 25:28Speaker 1: What's what's the communication? Where is the communication missing? I
- 25:34Speaker 1: think that a lot of people get exposed to scare
- 25:39Speaker 1: tactics or misinformation. UM. There was a lot going around
- 25:44Speaker 1: about I forget what even the hashtag was, but it
- 25:48Speaker 1: was like not my son or something like that. UM.
- 25:52Speaker 1: And when you look at these statistics of false accusations,
- 25:58Speaker 1: they're very low, between like two and ten percent. And
- 26:03Speaker 1: even that amount of debt data isn't accurate just because UM,
- 26:09Speaker 1: the police stations or the people reporting these numbers aren't
- 26:13Speaker 1: using the same type of UH data that whenever they're
- 26:20Speaker 1: looking at these UM. So I think the best thing
- 26:25Speaker 1: to do is to volunteer with organizations that do help
- 26:30Speaker 1: women through these types of situations, or to read up
- 26:36Speaker 1: on any type of literature you can consume that deals
- 26:40Speaker 1: with this type of subject. The more we expose ourselves
- 26:45Speaker 1: to these situations and listening to people's stories, the better
- 26:49Speaker 1: we can serve them. I think you're spot on. And
- 26:54Speaker 1: one of the things I've learned from this is and
- 26:56Speaker 1: actually again has been quick to tell me, there's a
- 26:59Speaker 1: lot of things I don't understand. Um, as somebody that's
- 27:04Speaker 1: not a victim myself, there's a lot of things I
- 27:06Speaker 1: don't understand, and I have to admit that. Right, so
- 27:09Speaker 1: somebody actually it's out there that doesn't understand but knows
- 27:13Speaker 1: it's wrong, that maybe has been around somebody that's closely
- 27:16Speaker 1: been affected bisexual assault. Uh, what can I do? How
- 27:22Speaker 1: can I help? How can I relate? Um? How can
- 27:24Speaker 1: I make sure that when I do send a message
- 27:27Speaker 1: out there to say, hey, let's all be better, that
- 27:30Speaker 1: it doesn't come from a place of of not understanding
- 27:33Speaker 1: or unrelatability, but it comes from a place of for
- 27:35Speaker 1: people like yourself to say, there's there's an ally, he's
- 27:39Speaker 1: on my team, he's part of the good ones. I
- 27:42Speaker 1: actually think your first statement was kind of the first
- 27:47Speaker 1: step in all of that. Um. I think it's wonderful
- 27:51Speaker 1: to hear a guy's day that he doesn't understand and
- 27:56Speaker 1: he'll never know what that feels like, but he wants
- 27:59Speaker 1: to Ry. I really do feel like that's the first step.
- 28:03Speaker 1: I think that we all have to step out of
- 28:05Speaker 1: our our gituations of not knowing how things go and
- 28:10Speaker 1: wanting to immediately just or form an opinion and just saying,
- 28:16Speaker 1: you know what, I don't get this, please tell me
- 28:18Speaker 1: more about it. That really is the first step. Um,
- 28:23Speaker 1: I think you've already kind of had experience with this,
- 28:26Speaker 1: but just listening to their story and wanting to help
- 28:31Speaker 1: them kiel through the trauma, I think that's all you
- 28:34Speaker 1: can do. The there's obviously a thousand things here actually
- 28:39Speaker 1: in this interview that I mean, we could talk about
- 28:41Speaker 1: for hours, and um, there's there's some big lessons learned.
- 28:46Speaker 1: I think through our scenario and and this Twitter exchange
- 28:49Speaker 1: and how both of us were unable to fully comprehend
- 28:53Speaker 1: each other's stories just by using Twitter. Something we talked
- 28:56Speaker 1: about all the time on this podcast is the beauty
- 29:00Speaker 1: the pros to social media, but also the cons for
- 29:04Speaker 1: sure for you in in this kind of Twitter exchange
- 29:08Speaker 1: with me and I don't just want to make this
- 29:11Speaker 1: about me, because you know you and I have seen
- 29:14Speaker 1: hopefully that we are on the same team. What are
- 29:17Speaker 1: some of the lessons that you've learned and how you
- 29:19Speaker 1: approach these situations from a distance. I think that in
- 29:26Speaker 1: terms of this situation, I've learned that I I don't
- 29:30Speaker 1: always have to be so aggressive. Um. I'm definitely someone
- 29:35Speaker 1: who has never been scared to bring an uncomfortable element
- 29:40Speaker 1: into my conversation, just because I do feel like a
- 29:44Speaker 1: lot of times change does come from getting uncomfortable and
- 29:49Speaker 1: really digging in deep. But I knew that I could
- 29:53Speaker 1: be a little more aggressive than I said be um,
- 29:57Speaker 1: and for us to really have of these types of
- 30:00Speaker 1: conversations where people can learn a lot and can heal
- 30:05Speaker 1: a lot. Uh, My, my rhetoric isn't always as useful
- 30:11Speaker 1: as it could be, UM, if I'm just so aggressive
- 30:15Speaker 1: out the gate. So I'm definitely going to work on that. UM.
- 30:20Speaker 1: I I do want to be able to be as
- 30:24Speaker 1: optimistic as you. UM. So that's something that I'm definitely
- 30:30Speaker 1: taking from. Here's my conversation. Are many conversations that we've
- 30:34Speaker 1: had Trent fists. UM. So, I mean, thank you at
- 30:38Speaker 1: least for inspiring me to try to be better at
- 30:41Speaker 1: that well, and and you know, we can pat each
- 30:44Speaker 1: other back here because I want to thank you. And
- 30:46Speaker 1: that's the final question before I let Ashley, because I
- 30:49Speaker 1: know she probably has some stuff that she's holding onto
- 30:51Speaker 1: that she wants to ask you. And I know our
- 30:54Speaker 1: our producer hasn't maybe a couple of questions as well,
- 30:56Speaker 1: and I want to open up the form to that.
- 30:57Speaker 1: I also want to take this second to say that
- 30:59Speaker 1: anybody out they're listening. UM, if you have any questions,
- 31:03Speaker 1: if you need someone to talk to you, if you
- 31:05Speaker 1: need somebody really relate with, please email us at Ben
- 31:08Speaker 1: and Ashley. iHeart Meadia dot com. UM. I think we
- 31:12Speaker 1: love to take it in your emails and your stories. Also,
- 31:15Speaker 1: at the end of the pot into the segment, I'm
- 31:17Speaker 1: gonna be pointing you to an organization that has a
- 31:19Speaker 1: hotline you can call to talk to somebody. UM. Please
- 31:22Speaker 1: listen to that. But actually, as I was saying, you know,
- 31:27Speaker 1: I do seem to be um optimistic and my hope
- 31:31Speaker 1: for humanity, but you also challenge me with a statement
- 31:35Speaker 1: that said, Ben, you have a platform, speak on something, UM,
- 31:40Speaker 1: directly stand for something and and don't throw big fluffy
- 31:43Speaker 1: words around, and that that is a charge I want
- 31:45Speaker 1: to take as well. It's hard on social media, but
- 31:47Speaker 1: I want to do that. And so I want to
- 31:50Speaker 1: pass that also over to you to say, what is
- 31:51Speaker 1: your hope for Bachelor Nation. We have a lot of
- 31:53Speaker 1: Bachelor fans listening. Bachelor Nation gets a massive following. There's
- 31:57Speaker 1: a ton of responsibility with this following. Millions of people
- 32:01Speaker 1: follows each year. What is your hope for the people
- 32:04Speaker 1: that come off the show, that participate in the show,
- 32:06Speaker 1: that have been on the show? Um, what do you
- 32:09Speaker 1: hope they use their platforms for? Actually, I do think
- 32:16Speaker 1: that people and batination tend to shy away from I
- 32:23Speaker 1: don't even want to say political statements or kind of
- 32:31Speaker 1: posting about politics, just because I think that they do
- 32:35Speaker 1: have a lot of fear of losing followers or in
- 32:38Speaker 1: some way that would affect their sponsorships or something like that.
- 32:43Speaker 1: But I do think that you know, pretty much everyone
- 32:46Speaker 1: is against rapes. I think that is something that we
- 32:49Speaker 1: all can sign a light on. Uh, say that there
- 32:54Speaker 1: are resources for anyone who has been through sexual assault
- 32:58Speaker 1: or sexual abuse. Um, I is that that was highlighted
- 33:02Speaker 1: more over the past couple of weeks. Um. You don't
- 33:06Speaker 1: have to say that you're a Democrat or Republican, or
- 33:08Speaker 1: a conservative or a liberal or anything like that. You
- 33:12Speaker 1: can encourage more people to vote. You can use your
- 33:16Speaker 1: platform for good in a way that doesn't just include
- 33:21Speaker 1: how many followers we're going to gain or lose or
- 33:25Speaker 1: prevent us from getting a sponsorship. Do you guys think
- 33:28Speaker 1: that social media is a difficult place to have conversations
- 33:35Speaker 1: like this because so much is misconstrued. I think that's
- 33:39Speaker 1: one of my you know, in looking at your tweets
- 33:41Speaker 1: and looking at the things that have happened on social media,
- 33:44Speaker 1: it's a very hard place to really get into discussions
- 33:50Speaker 1: like this, and they seem to go sideway. They're always
- 33:53Speaker 1: hostile when they're done on social media. And what I
- 33:56Speaker 1: wanted to say was just sitting back and listening to
- 33:59Speaker 1: you guys talk. It's so incredible the difference between how
- 34:03Speaker 1: calm and sensitive everyone is when they're actually talking, but
- 34:07Speaker 1: when they're either texting or they're on Twitter, it just
- 34:10Speaker 1: comes across in a completely different way because so much
- 34:13Speaker 1: can get lost in the written word, but when you
- 34:16Speaker 1: have tone and you're talking like this, it just comes
- 34:18Speaker 1: across completely differently, and something's actually done, you know, you
- 34:22Speaker 1: feel like something's been accomplished at the end of the conversation,
- 34:25Speaker 1: not just fighting. So I just wanted to tell you
- 34:28Speaker 1: guys how awesome it was just listening to you talk
- 34:31Speaker 1: that out and I wanted to hear what you guys
- 34:33Speaker 1: think about that. Yeah, I mean, I will definitely say
- 34:37Speaker 1: I think I am very politically active on Twitter or Instagram. UM,
- 34:45Speaker 1: I don't have the followings that y'all have, so I
- 34:48Speaker 1: do try to have this conversation mostly because I can
- 34:52Speaker 1: respond to all of them. I don't know if you
- 34:55Speaker 1: all necessarily can, just because I mean, you have millions
- 34:59Speaker 1: of followeris or hundreds of thousands of followers. I don't
- 35:02Speaker 1: have anywhere close to that number. So I do try
- 35:06Speaker 1: to do the most with my tiny platform, just because
- 35:09Speaker 1: I do know that a lot of people that followed
- 35:12Speaker 1: me UM like to have those conversations. Like I said,
- 35:19Speaker 1: I do think a lot of things can get misconstrued
- 35:23Speaker 1: on Twitter, and if I'm lucky enough like I was, within,
- 35:27Speaker 1: we can continue those conversations and hopefully that's But as
- 35:31Speaker 1: about you UM to these types of interactions, Actually, actually
- 35:36Speaker 1: I wanted to switch gears a little bit and actually
- 35:38Speaker 1: talk about your presence online because for somebody who hasn't
- 35:41Speaker 1: been on a bachelor show for it hasn't been almost
- 35:44Speaker 1: eight years now you actually have quite a presence online. Um,
- 35:48Speaker 1: how have you gotten so involved and known? I know
- 35:51Speaker 1: you've worked a little bit with Reality Steve, but it
- 35:53Speaker 1: does seem like you've sort of become a bachelor investigative journalists. Um.
- 35:59Speaker 1: You know that that investigative journalist stuff just happened by chance. Um.
- 36:05Speaker 1: I don't know how I got this role. Um, but
- 36:09Speaker 1: I will say one thing that I think I have
- 36:12Speaker 1: always tried to do in that's when I said, kind
- 36:16Speaker 1: of be like a truth teller. So after my season,
- 36:19Speaker 1: I started a a recap blog kind of where I
- 36:23Speaker 1: would kind of like lift the veil behind things that
- 36:26Speaker 1: were going on, kind of things that people weren't necessarily seeing,
- 36:30Speaker 1: or clue people in on like that you can get
- 36:33Speaker 1: a bad edit or things like that. Because that didn't
- 36:35Speaker 1: exist back when I was on the show. That's true.
- 36:38Speaker 1: Did you call out production and stuff and did they
- 36:41Speaker 1: come after you? Well, they hired me actually to do
- 36:45Speaker 1: it for ABC dot Com. Um, I mean it was
- 36:49Speaker 1: so different back then. Uh. And then kind of what
- 36:52Speaker 1: happened is that I found out there was a male
- 36:56Speaker 1: task member who was doing a recap that was much
- 36:59Speaker 1: shorter in mind mind, I'm not kidding. Probably took like
- 37:02Speaker 1: twelve hours where I was basically like, make a name
- 37:05Speaker 1: out of all these pictures, um, and he was getting
- 37:08Speaker 1: paid double what I was getting paid to write them,
- 37:11Speaker 1: so I stopped. Um, it's fine because it does. It
- 37:15Speaker 1: took up so much of my time anyway. UM. And
- 37:19Speaker 1: then yeah, I've just I've tried to speak out on
- 37:23Speaker 1: things I didn't love whenever Caitlin was but same during
- 37:27Speaker 1: her season. I was very vocal about that. I I
- 37:30Speaker 1: hated the racism that Rachel had to um injure. So
- 37:36Speaker 1: I want to ask Ashley Spivey sort of a tough question,
- 37:39Speaker 1: and I and I have mixed feelings on it because
- 37:42Speaker 1: I can't see all the tweets, But you same, especially
- 37:46Speaker 1: in this conversation, like you're really open to hearing another perspective,
- 37:50Speaker 1: another side. And we got a lot of you know,
- 37:55Speaker 1: um people reaching out to us that you block them
- 37:59Speaker 1: on Twitter. So I'm more curious where you're where your
- 38:03Speaker 1: thought processes is there because I'm hearing you say you
- 38:08Speaker 1: want to have conversations and you want to be open
- 38:11Speaker 1: and you want to have a dialogue going, and then
- 38:14Speaker 1: the blocking seems to be the opposite of that. Oh,
- 38:18Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, I don't know if Astley and
- 38:21Speaker 1: Ben has ever had this happened to them, and but
- 38:25Speaker 1: I think there's something to be said about having an
- 38:27Speaker 1: actual discussion. And then sometimes when people are definitely trolling
- 38:34Speaker 1: or trying to be hurtful towards you or trying to
- 38:38Speaker 1: say mess the things, sometimes it's just easier to block them. Yeah. No,
- 38:43Speaker 1: I mean that's fair. I think some of the people
- 38:45Speaker 1: that reached out to us don't feel that they were
- 38:48Speaker 1: doing that, but I you know, I'm not in your
- 38:50Speaker 1: head to know why you block a person over another,
- 38:54Speaker 1: And we have had a lot of people come after us.
- 38:57Speaker 1: And one of the things that I'm most proud of
- 38:58Speaker 1: Ben and Ashley is they listen to it every time.
- 39:02Speaker 1: They hear the people out every time. And so you know,
- 39:06Speaker 1: that's just my two cents on that. You can do
- 39:08Speaker 1: whatever you want. But I do think if we are
- 39:11Speaker 1: going to really be open and making progress, we have
- 39:17Speaker 1: to hear other people's perspectives for sure. I mean, I
- 39:22Speaker 1: don't think that I've besides the blocking with I don't
- 39:26Speaker 1: even think I have that many people blocked. And the
- 39:29Speaker 1: only reason I know the number is because whenever Christie
- 39:33Speaker 1: Pagan showed her block list. I think I may have
- 39:38Speaker 1: posted mine or even said how many people I had blocked,
- 39:42Speaker 1: because enough for it's not that great, Um, it's it's
- 39:46Speaker 1: more so like I mean, there were probably some people
- 39:50Speaker 1: from like the Morning Past group or something that had
- 39:55Speaker 1: come after me and had said some things that I'm
- 39:59Speaker 1: will to have conversations with people who are respectful and
- 40:05Speaker 1: not trolling. And if people really did feel like they
- 40:08Speaker 1: were coming to me with those conversations and I blocked them,
- 40:12Speaker 1: I apologize for that, but I really do try to
- 40:17Speaker 1: limit it to people who are being harmful in their
- 40:21Speaker 1: comments or their tweets. Ben and actually have a question
- 40:25Speaker 1: for both of you about trolls. Do you think that
- 40:29Speaker 1: I've always been confused as to what to do with them.
- 40:32Speaker 1: Should I block them and then just get them out
- 40:35Speaker 1: of my life? Or does blocking them show that they've
- 40:38Speaker 1: affected me so much? They've affected me that's exactly why
- 40:42Speaker 1: I'm blocking them. Yeah, yeah, but then I feel like
- 40:46Speaker 1: it almost gives them power, like oh I did my job. Yeah,
- 40:49Speaker 1: I could care less if they felt power in that moment.
- 40:51Speaker 1: I just don't want I don't this and actually I'm
- 40:54Speaker 1: not speaking for you actually talk about it. I'll let
- 40:58Speaker 1: you answer this, but I noticed that. Um well, even
- 41:02Speaker 1: Ashley Spivy Geez called and I promise you would never
- 41:06Speaker 1: bring it up a game, but she called me vanilla
- 41:09Speaker 1: boring like and I hate that, Like it makes me
- 41:13Speaker 1: so angry. I don't know why. And so when people
- 41:16Speaker 1: do that, like it's almost like an automatic like I
- 41:18Speaker 1: don't want to hear your opinion anymore. Um. And then
- 41:20Speaker 1: you make a really good point there, and I think
- 41:22Speaker 1: Ashley spoke to it. But again, my thing is stand
- 41:27Speaker 1: strong on your opinions. But I, Ashley, I think your
- 41:30Speaker 1: message gets lost when you do that, which I think
- 41:33Speaker 1: you addressed. No, that's what I said. Like, I I
- 41:36Speaker 1: know that my anger does not always manifest in the
- 41:40Speaker 1: best of ways. And one of those things is sometimes
- 41:43Speaker 1: I can get a little too fired up and say
- 41:45Speaker 1: hurtful things like many people do when they're angry. Um.
- 41:49Speaker 1: But I have apologized tip In for that and we've
- 41:52Speaker 1: had a cop Hey, Ashley, this is also just a
- 41:56Speaker 1: general question. I wonder if I do it too. Do
- 42:00Speaker 1: you say those things if you were in front of
- 42:02Speaker 1: your face or is that something that you just say
- 42:03Speaker 1: because like he's a public figure and you're on on
- 42:06Speaker 1: Twitter because obviously I talk about into my Cosmo blog
- 42:09Speaker 1: and stuff. I will make fun of people because I
- 42:12Speaker 1: haven't met them yet and I wouldn't say to their
- 42:14Speaker 1: face in person, and then I meet them and I'm like,
- 42:15Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so embarrassing, But like, what do
- 42:18Speaker 1: you think? I have a couple of um instances of
- 42:22Speaker 1: that with previous blotchlor season. Like I said in the
- 42:26Speaker 1: Recat blog, I used to have I think I called
- 42:29Speaker 1: like I think to call it down low like a
- 42:31Speaker 1: vanilla gender or I even even said a couple of
- 42:37Speaker 1: things about other people. And when I met them in
- 42:39Speaker 1: first and they were like, we were ready to like
- 42:42Speaker 1: hate you and think you were a total bit, but
- 42:45Speaker 1: now you're like a little piece of dynamite, like with
- 42:50Speaker 1: a Southern accent. It's I and I think it's funny
- 42:55Speaker 1: because I was kind of wondering what y'all thought I
- 42:58Speaker 1: was going to be like before I came on the podcast,
- 43:01Speaker 1: and I'm starting thought I was going to be like
- 43:03Speaker 1: super angry with like really mean, like scary voice or something.
- 43:08Speaker 1: I did think you're going to have a scary voice.
- 43:10Speaker 1: Then I came on, She's like, oh she is I
- 43:11Speaker 1: thought it, sweetheart. I think you're exactly what you are.
- 43:15Speaker 1: You're trying working hard to do what's right for you
- 43:19Speaker 1: and figuring out how to do that. Yeah. Well, and
- 43:22Speaker 1: I hope too. In terms of trying to do what's
- 43:26Speaker 1: right for me. I'm an impass, so other people's feelings
- 43:32Speaker 1: and her and suffering really affects me. So I'm always
- 43:37Speaker 1: trying to do for other people. I mean, I'm a namy,
- 43:40Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, my my job is
- 43:44Speaker 1: really to try to take care of other people. And
- 43:47Speaker 1: I know probably the best expression of that was not
- 43:50Speaker 1: what happened on Twitter, but it truly is my heart. Yeah, well,
- 43:55Speaker 1: it ended up being used for good, and you were
- 43:58Speaker 1: the catalyst to leving that happen. You reached out to me,
- 44:01Speaker 1: you said, Hey, this doesn't seem like this is going
- 44:03Speaker 1: in a direction on Twitter that is anywhere good or healthy?
- 44:06Speaker 1: Can we talk? And h Ashley, I think Amy brings
- 44:10Speaker 1: up a great point. Um, I've gotten to hear your story.
- 44:14Speaker 1: You're you know, yeah, your story is UM. So many
- 44:18Speaker 1: others out there that just haven't felt like they can
- 44:21Speaker 1: share yet, and a lot of this does get lost
- 44:24Speaker 1: in anger. And so I think a good takeaway from
- 44:27Speaker 1: all of us listening to this and and me including
- 44:30Speaker 1: even talking about is when we do confront these issues too,
- 44:33Speaker 1: we can be angry and we can feel angry, but
- 44:36Speaker 1: make sure we're communicating our message clearly and UM effectively
- 44:40Speaker 1: every time with this, Ashley Spivy and I wanted to try.
- 44:44Speaker 1: We we talked and we tried to figure out what
- 44:46Speaker 1: we could do about this outside of just talking on
- 44:49Speaker 1: this podcast. And so we thought there's a couple of
- 44:51Speaker 1: organizations out there that are really in support of women, UM,
- 44:55Speaker 1: that are in the support of just also hearing anybody's
- 44:58Speaker 1: stories that are victims of sexual assault, because this is
- 45:01Speaker 1: not just something that happens to women. Men are involved
- 45:05Speaker 1: in as well. UM. And so I want to make
- 45:08Speaker 1: sure to to highlight and ask anybody out there listening
- 45:11Speaker 1: to donate UM to RAIN and that's spelled r AI
- 45:15Speaker 1: and and actually has brought this network to my attention, UM,
- 45:19Speaker 1: I want to tell you a little bit about it. RAIN,
- 45:21Speaker 1: the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, is the nation's
- 45:24Speaker 1: largest anti sexual violence organization. RAIN created and operates the
- 45:28Speaker 1: National Sexual Assault Hotline eight hundred six five six HOPE.
- 45:33Speaker 1: You can also visit them online at online dot reigin
- 45:36Speaker 1: dot org. If you are a victim, if you haven't
- 45:44Speaker 1: told your story, or maybe you have and you need
- 45:45Speaker 1: to talk to somebody, please reach out to RAIN. Also,
- 45:48Speaker 1: if you're out there listening and maybe you've been affected
- 45:50Speaker 1: or you haven't been affected, considered donating to RAIN. UM.
- 45:54Speaker 1: This is something that has affected so many and if
- 45:58Speaker 1: I can get on my my soap boxed for a second,
- 46:04Speaker 1: I again, I cannot imagine living a life or something
- 46:10Speaker 1: so personal and something that affects all of us, no
- 46:14Speaker 1: matter who you are or what your practices have been
- 46:17Speaker 1: so much, and not tell your story or not feel
- 46:23Speaker 1: like you have the opportunity to tell the story for
- 46:25Speaker 1: anybody out there that has caused this pain on somebody.
- 46:36Speaker 1: I hope you feel the heaviness and the way and
- 46:42Speaker 1: the impact at which you're affecting lives and the worst
- 46:45Speaker 1: of ways. And I also hope that there is a
- 46:50Speaker 1: redemption and a redeeming quality to all of this. But
- 46:54Speaker 1: none of us will be ever able to understand unless
- 46:58Speaker 1: we start talking about it, and so start having these conversations.
- 47:03Speaker 1: I hope you do not feel ashamed for anybody that's
- 47:06Speaker 1: a victim. I need to talk to somebody please reach
- 47:09Speaker 1: out this podcast and we will make sure to get
- 47:11Speaker 1: you in contact with somebody. Actually, I know you, UM
- 47:16Speaker 1: are going to highlight an organization as close and near
- 47:18Speaker 1: and dear to my heart, and a lot of listeners
- 47:19Speaker 1: know about it. UM, And I just want to give
- 47:21Speaker 1: you kind of the last work, cause I know you
- 47:23Speaker 1: have to get the work, UM on on anything you
- 47:26Speaker 1: want to kind of finish up with. I don't know.
- 47:29Speaker 1: I just I wanted to thank you for allowing me
- 47:33Speaker 1: to come on the podcast and explain myself, and special
- 47:36Speaker 1: thanks to Athlee and Amy because I know y'all were
- 47:40Speaker 1: very happy with me. But I do hope that UM,
- 47:44Speaker 1: through this talk, I've hopefully been able to change your
- 47:47Speaker 1: mind a little bit definitely. And then, UM, like I said,
- 47:53Speaker 1: Ben and I are going to donate to each other's
- 47:57Speaker 1: cause that we brought to each other, UM, just because
- 48:02Speaker 1: I do feel like this conversation was so productive and
- 48:07Speaker 1: I wanted to do it as a joint effort of
- 48:10Speaker 1: faith and the other person that I do appreciate Sin
- 48:14Speaker 1: for what stands for, and I hope he appreciates me
- 48:19Speaker 1: for at least what I've been willing to share with him.
- 48:22Speaker 1: And I do hope that this talk will inspire other
- 48:26Speaker 1: listeners to have those same types of conversations. So thank
- 48:30Speaker 1: you all for having me only fantastic experiences listening to
- 48:35Speaker 1: you guys. Thank you. Actually, actually, Spivey, never stand down.
- 48:41Speaker 1: We can always become better at communicating. But I do
- 48:44Speaker 1: appreciate you. And this has been one of the craziest
- 48:48Speaker 1: weeks and a half of my life on learning and
- 48:52Speaker 1: educating and figuring this out and also just knowing that
- 48:56Speaker 1: you have a story to tell and all of this
- 48:58Speaker 1: comes from a place of of a lot of her
- 49:01Speaker 1: and so um, yeah, let's stand up together. And actually, Spivey,
- 49:05Speaker 1: thanks for coming the podcast. I know it was a risk,
- 49:07Speaker 1: but I hope you feel like it was fruitful. Thanks again,
- 49:12Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Then I do feel better. Actually, okay, wow,
- 49:22Speaker 1: Actually this is the takeaway one of the takeaways that
- 49:25Speaker 1: I have, um and I think we're seeing it today
- 49:28Speaker 1: no matter and actually Spivey spoke on it. I know
- 49:32Speaker 1: there's a lot of criticism out there on you know,
- 49:34Speaker 1: we've dum sacred ized the Me Too movement. Too many
- 49:39Speaker 1: people are claiming it. There's too many false accusations and
- 49:43Speaker 1: I just have a hard time believing that. I just
- 49:46Speaker 1: think there's a lot more victims than anybody ever realized. Um,
- 49:50Speaker 1: I think a lot of people have been affected by
- 49:52Speaker 1: sexual assault, and I think it's shocking right now to
- 49:55Speaker 1: the public when so many people are coming out and
- 49:57Speaker 1: saying I've been hurt. But I also think there's an
- 49:59Speaker 1: important less in there, and one that actually Spivy and
- 50:02Speaker 1: I have spoken about is the me too movement is sacred.
- 50:05Speaker 1: We have to hold it up and say when when
- 50:07Speaker 1: you make a claim, it carries an impact and it
- 50:11Speaker 1: carries a weight to it, right, And so in this
- 50:16Speaker 1: day and age, as we communicate with each other, as
- 50:19Speaker 1: we throw accusations at each other, we have to make
- 50:21Speaker 1: sure that we're doing it in truth. And Ashley Spivey
- 50:23Speaker 1: spoke on that this she wants to be a messenger
- 50:25Speaker 1: of truth. And I think one of the hardest things
- 50:31Speaker 1: that for me and this was that I was being
- 50:32Speaker 1: compared to people that I know I don't ever want
- 50:35Speaker 1: to be compared with her, I know that are not
- 50:37Speaker 1: on my team, and that got scary for me. And
- 50:39Speaker 1: it was also it really did get scary for me
- 50:42Speaker 1: because I felt like there was something that was so
- 50:45Speaker 1: near and dear to my heart a topic that was
- 50:48Speaker 1: affected me closely, um, that I was now being associated
- 50:52Speaker 1: with and I couldn't have a chance to control. So
- 50:54Speaker 1: I think what I'm trying to say is for anybody
- 50:55Speaker 1: out there listening, speak up, talk about it, share the truth,
- 51:00Speaker 1: but make sure you're communicating in truth, and make sure
- 51:03Speaker 1: you're hearing people's stories for first, there's an empathy level
- 51:06Speaker 1: that needs to be brought into this to listen, to trust,
- 51:09Speaker 1: and to know. And so yeah, um, I appreciate Ashley Spivey.
- 51:15Speaker 1: I really do. I didn't last week. I like her too,
- 51:19Speaker 1: because I think she's trying and I respect anybody that's
- 51:25Speaker 1: making an effort. I think what she's experiencing as is
- 51:28Speaker 1: learning as she goes on how to do that in
- 51:33Speaker 1: the right way, and I think she makes missteps all
- 51:36Speaker 1: the time. Well, I mean this was this is definitely
- 51:39Speaker 1: a step in the right direction. Though it was so different. Yeah,
- 51:43Speaker 1: it's so different hearing her talk to you vocally, not
- 51:47Speaker 1: through the computer screen. I agree, I I think I
- 51:50Speaker 1: completely agree. It's just a lot, honestly, it's a lot
- 51:53Speaker 1: less intimidating. It's it feels a lot less uncontrollable because
- 51:57Speaker 1: as we're bouting back and forth at each other on Twitter.
- 52:01Speaker 1: Explanations really aren't getting heard. Stories are not getting heard. Um.
- 52:05Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of lessons to be learned here.
- 52:08Speaker 1: But I was angry at Ashley last week. I mean,
- 52:11Speaker 1: she was my worst enemy about a week and a
- 52:14Speaker 1: half ago, and and now she's somebody that I'm I'm
- 52:17Speaker 1: just I'm gonna always learn from. UM. So again, please
- 52:22Speaker 1: donate to RAIN. I will be donating to RAIN. The
- 52:26Speaker 1: hotline is eight hundred six five six dot Hope. Also,
- 52:30Speaker 1: Ashley Spivey will be donating to Heman and Hope United,
- 52:34Speaker 1: which is a nonprofit that focuses on alleviating human injustice
- 52:38Speaker 1: and Honduras and building successful, standable communities. And one of
- 52:42Speaker 1: the ways they do that is by empowering women and
- 52:45Speaker 1: by supplying jobs for over of the women in these
- 52:48Speaker 1: communities that they work with. So I don't know, it's heavy, um,
- 52:54Speaker 1: but we've talked about it and I think, Uh, the
- 52:58Speaker 1: only way that we will continue to in front this
- 53:00Speaker 1: issue is to have open and honest dialogue with that Actuley,
- 53:04Speaker 1: We've got a big podcast ahead of us, man, Uh,
- 53:07Speaker 1: it's gonna be weird to just jump into another conversation now,
- 53:11Speaker 1: but you go, we gotta do it. It is hard
- 53:12Speaker 1: to transition, um, but it's not hard to transition when
- 53:15Speaker 1: you're transitioning to something so good, right, so positive. We're
- 53:22Speaker 1: gonna be talking at Tannard Tilbert here coming up very soon.
- 53:25Speaker 1: I might be more angry at Tanner Tilbert and you
- 53:27Speaker 1: for the next ten minutes than I ever was Ashley Spivy.
- 53:31Speaker 1: Something I'm not angry at is Bowling Branch. Bullling Branch
- 53:34Speaker 1: makes the softest, most comfortable, organic cotton cheese you'll ever
- 53:38Speaker 1: sleep on. They only sell to you online at Bowling
- 53:41Speaker 1: Branch dot com, so their sheets cost less than half
- 53:44Speaker 1: of the designer brands and are twice the quality. They're
- 53:47Speaker 1: made from a that's not nine that's organic cotton. They
- 53:53Speaker 1: start out soft and get even softer over time. Here's
- 53:56Speaker 1: the funny part. Three U S presidents love Bulling Branches.
- 54:00Speaker 1: This has always been interesting me. I don't know why.
- 54:01Speaker 1: Maybe I want to be president one day because it's
- 54:03Speaker 1: just something about we really don't I didn't know that
- 54:08Speaker 1: was like something that was known because I didn't know
- 54:09Speaker 1: that about myself. But the there's something about presidency that
- 54:16Speaker 1: intrigues me because I feel like they probably have the
- 54:19Speaker 1: best of everything. Um, and I've been watching The West
- 54:22Speaker 1: Wing and I'm on episode of The West Wing. Not
- 54:25Speaker 1: the best show ever. Oh my god, here on episode three.
- 54:30Speaker 1: Yeah just wait, Oh, I don't even want to you
- 54:33Speaker 1: don't even know what is coming. Get more excited because
- 54:36Speaker 1: I actually think it might be the best show ever made.
- 54:41Speaker 1: I've watched it through, just started again at the beginning.
- 54:44Speaker 1: If I like Scandal, I like that my friend Angie's
- 54:47Speaker 1: husband just watches it, watches the whole series, then watches
- 54:50Speaker 1: it again, then watches it again, and watch it again.
- 54:52Speaker 1: And what's crazy, I'm sorry to go off, is that
- 54:57Speaker 1: it seems like it's current, Like well, wait, just wait,
- 55:01Speaker 1: you have no idea. All I want to say is
- 55:04Speaker 1: wait for the end of this season and call me,
- 55:08Speaker 1: because you will be your mouth will be open, and
- 55:11Speaker 1: you will be like fighting tears and shock and not
- 55:16Speaker 1: knowing what to do. Okay, you actually sold me. I'm
- 55:18Speaker 1: going to watch anyway, Branch. So this weekend, I just
- 55:22Speaker 1: got back from Los Angeles last night. I spoke at
- 55:26Speaker 1: Politicon this weekend, which is a political conference that can
- 55:29Speaker 1: that brings in some of the most recent political leaders
- 55:33Speaker 1: of our day to speak and share about where they're at,
- 55:35Speaker 1: what their stories are, and where they're seeing, and what
- 55:37Speaker 1: they viewed the current atmosphere of the United States as today.
- 55:42Speaker 1: Here's a cool part the West Wing. Amy and Ashley
- 55:45Speaker 1: actually did a panel at this conference that I said
- 55:47Speaker 1: in on along with one of the advisors to Obama
- 55:52Speaker 1: UM and so the advisor to Obama literally said, when
- 55:56Speaker 1: they got announced that uh President Obama was going in
- 56:00Speaker 1: the office, they all watched the West Wing to prepare
- 56:02Speaker 1: themselves for their next jobs. Because that's how accurate it actually,
- 56:07Speaker 1: I promise you. They said. The only thing that's not
- 56:09Speaker 1: accurate about the West Wing is the size of the offices.
- 56:12Speaker 1: The officers are actually smaller in real life than they
- 56:16Speaker 1: are in the West Wing. But they said everything else,
- 56:19Speaker 1: like the job of of the Secretary of Communication or
- 56:21Speaker 1: any of that, is actually very very accurate. And so
- 56:25Speaker 1: I started watching it here this week because of that,
- 56:28Speaker 1: And as I watched it last night, the president shows
- 56:31Speaker 1: his room like his his his sleeping quarters, and I
- 56:35Speaker 1: saw the sheets and I was like, I bet they're bulling. Prepare.
- 56:39Speaker 1: You won't believe how comfortable organic cotton sheets can feel
- 56:46Speaker 1: until you try bulling branch. You can try them for
- 56:49Speaker 1: a whole month. If you're not the most comfortable thing
- 56:51Speaker 1: you've ever slept on, or any other way you want
- 56:54Speaker 1: to test drive your sheets, send them back for a
- 56:56Speaker 1: full refund. No risk means no reason not to try us.
- 57:00Speaker 1: You get fifty dollars off your first set of sheets
- 57:02Speaker 1: at Bowling Branch dot com. Use our promo code almost
- 57:05Speaker 1: famous spelled b O l L and Branch dot com
- 57:09Speaker 1: promo code almost famous for fifty dollars off your first
- 57:12Speaker 1: set of sheets Bowling Branch dot com promo code almost famous.
- 57:15Speaker 1: At the end of the podcast, I think we're gonna
- 57:18Speaker 1: take some time to talk about the West Wing. I
- 57:19Speaker 1: know that that's not what you want to do during
- 57:21Speaker 1: the middle of it, but at least we will do
- 57:23Speaker 1: it at the end. So if you want to skip
- 57:25Speaker 1: over the whole thing, great, But if not, Amy Ashley,
- 57:28Speaker 1: We've got to talk. And I know you also want
- 57:30Speaker 1: to talk about something else, very important to you, very
- 57:32Speaker 1: special to you. Actually actually tell us about fat fit Fun.
- 57:35Speaker 1: Fab fit Fund is a seasonal subscription box with full
- 57:38Speaker 1: size beauty, fitness, fashion and lifestyle products. It's a favorite
- 57:42Speaker 1: of mine, It's a favorite of our next guest Hanner
- 57:44Speaker 1: Tolbert's and it only retails, but it always has a
- 57:49Speaker 1: value of over two. Don't ask me how they do it.
- 57:52Speaker 1: They do it, and they do it every single quarter.
- 57:55Speaker 1: Getting your fat fit Fun box in the mail feels
- 57:57Speaker 1: like Christmas four times a year, seriously, and especially as
- 58:01Speaker 1: time goes on and the box gets better and better.
- 58:04Speaker 1: Some of the contents that you can expect to see
- 58:06Speaker 1: in fabfit fund boxes are like skincare from glam Glow
- 58:11Speaker 1: and Juice Beauty, both things that I have in my
- 58:13Speaker 1: glam room and that are big favorites of my skin
- 58:17Speaker 1: fashion items including things from Free People and Michael Stars
- 58:21Speaker 1: and beauty products from Tart, Moroccan Oil and chry. Don't
- 58:26Speaker 1: miss out because they sell out fast. And I know
- 58:29Speaker 1: that some companies go, oh they sell a fast now,
- 58:31Speaker 1: but really, these things sell out in less than a week.
- 58:34Speaker 1: Check out fabfit fund dot com and use the code
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- 58:40Speaker 1: making it only thirty nine dollars and cents. And don't
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- 58:46Speaker 1: fund dot com. Use the code almost famous and treat yourself.
- 58:51Speaker 1: Treat yourself. Ben I'm sorry if you didn't want to
- 58:53Speaker 1: be president, and I just kind of put that on you.
- 58:55Speaker 1: You don't want to be president, then you don't have
- 58:57Speaker 1: to be. I always just imagined you as, isn't it.
- 59:00Speaker 1: I guess it was really just my own mindset. Yeah,
- 59:02Speaker 1: you know what, I really do want to be. So
- 59:04Speaker 1: we'll throw it out there because I think a lot
- 59:06Speaker 1: of the presidents do listen to the almost famous podcast, um,
- 59:09Speaker 1: and I'm sure we have some future presidents listening. You
- 59:11Speaker 1: know what my dream job is, now, what outside of
- 59:14Speaker 1: operating generous is to operate generous and be in an
- 59:16Speaker 1: ambassador um to a country. Okay, I can see you
- 59:20Speaker 1: definitely doing that. I would love to do that. I would.
- 59:22Speaker 1: I just think that sounds awesome. Um. I think I'm
- 59:24Speaker 1: gonna just like step out of here, so angry, I
- 59:28Speaker 1: step out the podcast. Let you and Tanner have your
- 59:31Speaker 1: moment um because I don't feel welcomed anymore. Oh my god. Okay,
- 59:36Speaker 1: we have Tanner Tilbert, one of my very close friends
- 59:38Speaker 1: on the line. Hi Tanner, Hello, Hi, So we just
- 59:43Speaker 1: spent four days together in Puerto Rico. It was the
- 59:46Speaker 1: most amazing vacation Jared and I have just had I
- 59:51Speaker 1: been blessed with wonderful vacations at the w Fort Lauderdale,
- 59:55Speaker 1: UM Real Caribbean and now this amazing week in Puerto
- 59:58Speaker 1: Rico with you guys. Jaden Tanner vacations are the best vacations.
- 1:00:02Speaker 1: And on this vacation, Jared posted an instagram that I
- 1:00:06Speaker 1: thought people already knew. I thought you already knew what
- 1:00:09Speaker 1: was in the captain of this instagram, but I guess
- 1:00:11Speaker 1: they didn't. Um, you will be officiating our wedding next August.
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: And this is something that we've joked about for like
- 1:00:19Speaker 1: like ever since Jared and I got engaged, right, oh yeah,
- 1:00:22Speaker 1: maybe even before that. I know I think so too,
- 1:00:26Speaker 1: But apparently I've made a boo boo and I may
- 1:00:29Speaker 1: have hurt Ben's feelings, and I think I heard some
- 1:00:32Speaker 1: fans feelings out there too. They were very defensive of you, Ben,
- 1:00:36Speaker 1: very defensive when this was announced, because before Jared and
- 1:00:41Speaker 1: I were ever together and the almost famous podcast was
- 1:00:45Speaker 1: just a mere baby. I said something along the lines
- 1:00:48Speaker 1: of Ben, I would love you to officiate my wedding
- 1:00:51Speaker 1: one day, and truly, Ben, if I were not marrying Jared,
- 1:00:54Speaker 1: I'm sure I think you probably maybe would be, Um,
- 1:00:58Speaker 1: it's just that Ared's decision. It's no, it's not Jared's decision.
- 1:01:02Speaker 1: It's it's Jared in my relationship. I can see how
- 1:01:05Speaker 1: this relationship is going to go. Ben, you know it's
- 1:01:08Speaker 1: My relationship with Jared has completely evolved and unfolded and
- 1:01:12Speaker 1: blossomed in front of Tanner Tilbert's eyes. He is closer
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: to it than anyone other than our parents are family.
- 1:01:20Speaker 1: It happened because of Tanner. I love Ben, God bless you. Ben.
- 1:01:24Speaker 1: I love you. But like Tanner, Jared went to Tanner
- 1:01:28Speaker 1: and opened his soul and Tanner said dude, or might
- 1:01:32Speaker 1: have said, bro, you gotta do it. And so my
- 1:01:36Speaker 1: thing is like I'm said, bro, you gotta do it.
- 1:01:41Speaker 1: So Tanner is responsible for what is Ashley and Jared
- 1:01:46Speaker 1: all right Tanner? Yeah, yeah, Ben, don't be don't be
- 1:01:49Speaker 1: mad at me. I mean you got, you got the
- 1:01:50Speaker 1: role of the Bachelor after a season together. Let me
- 1:01:52Speaker 1: have this row, let me have more. Okay, I justn't
- 1:01:56Speaker 1: want it at all, Tanner, I just want it all. Ben.
- 1:01:58Speaker 1: You get to now watch Tanner off shape, which is
- 1:02:01Speaker 1: going to be the funniest thing you're ever going to
- 1:02:03Speaker 1: see in your life because Tanner always has this slight smile,
- 1:02:06Speaker 1: it's a little sly grin, and it's going to be
- 1:02:09Speaker 1: the most perfect thing I've ever seen at the altar.
- 1:02:12Speaker 1: It's going to allow me to laugh through my tears
- 1:02:15Speaker 1: rather than just have an emotional sob past. Well you
- 1:02:18Speaker 1: know what else it does for me, um, It allows
- 1:02:21Speaker 1: me to kick back, relax and have a couple of
- 1:02:22Speaker 1: cocktails in me that I was no longer going to
- 1:02:24Speaker 1: be able to have. So Tanner, it's your job, go
- 1:02:27Speaker 1: for it. I will be celebrating Ashley and Jared from
- 1:02:30Speaker 1: the audience. Tanner, I really want to know that we've
- 1:02:33Speaker 1: talked about it a couple of times. Take us back
- 1:02:35Speaker 1: to the moment where Jared did just release his heart
- 1:02:39Speaker 1: and soul to you. And what was before you even
- 1:02:42Speaker 1: spoke to Jared as he was saying the words, if
- 1:02:45Speaker 1: I think I love Ashley? What was going through your mind?
- 1:02:49Speaker 1: So I had dreamt of that moment for like two years.
- 1:02:53Speaker 1: That couple, yea, I know it is, but Jared, after that,
- 1:02:56Speaker 1: that couple, that was like we traveled well together and
- 1:02:59Speaker 1: there were a couple that we like, the guy and
- 1:03:01Speaker 1: the girl equal, and that's that's the Ray I want
- 1:03:03Speaker 1: to have within a marriage if you actually like both people,
- 1:03:06Speaker 1: not just the guy like the guy, girl like the girl,
- 1:03:08Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. So I feltishly was
- 1:03:11Speaker 1: rooting for this, for this relationship to work out for
- 1:03:13Speaker 1: about two years, just for my own needy reasons to
- 1:03:17Speaker 1: have you know, traveling studdies. But I didn't think it
- 1:03:20Speaker 1: would actually happen. But I was always in their corner.
- 1:03:23Speaker 1: And then, um, I knew the moment when Jared decided
- 1:03:27Speaker 1: to come to Saint Lucian's just for like eighteen hour
- 1:03:31Speaker 1: you know, an eighteen hour period. He didn't even have
- 1:03:33Speaker 1: to tell me. He didn't. He didn't. He waited to
- 1:03:35Speaker 1: tell me till we got down there. But I know,
- 1:03:38Speaker 1: no guys gonna travel, you know, to eight hour flights
- 1:03:42Speaker 1: and over the span of eighteen hours, unless there's a
- 1:03:44Speaker 1: girl involved like that just doesn't. That just doesn't happen.
- 1:03:47Speaker 1: So as soon as you got here, there's as the
- 1:03:49Speaker 1: guts there. He pulled me aside, asked me to low
- 1:03:51Speaker 1: down because I've already kind of talked to Astley about it.
- 1:03:54Speaker 1: Gary spilled his guts and the rest of history. Man, Yeah,
- 1:03:58Speaker 1: it's a good story. Tanner was there when we first met.
- 1:04:01Speaker 1: He was there when we had friend fights about why
- 1:04:06Speaker 1: we were just friends, and then he was there as
- 1:04:09Speaker 1: Jared's confidante when it was time to tell his real feelings. So,
- 1:04:14Speaker 1: come on, you have to understand why she's gotta be
- 1:04:16Speaker 1: are officient. I can't be that man. Now I'm good,
- 1:04:19Speaker 1: I've gotten over it. I was just excited. I I
- 1:04:21Speaker 1: support you. Also, I just feel like Tanner's one up me.
- 1:04:24Speaker 1: You know, he gets Jade, he gets the baby, gets
- 1:04:27Speaker 1: the You don't even want to know what he want.
- 1:04:30Speaker 1: On fan Dueling yesterday, then Tannery had a big week
- 1:04:35Speaker 1: I have it was a very good Sunday. Tiler Household.
- 1:04:38Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, everything's happened in the Tilber household. Hey,
- 1:04:42Speaker 1: for any of the fans listening, Tanner Tilbert was I
- 1:04:45Speaker 1: think one of the most beloved people that I've ever
- 1:04:48Speaker 1: seen in a house uh full of main competing for
- 1:04:51Speaker 1: one woman. So when we were on Caitlin season The
- 1:04:53Speaker 1: bachelorret everybody loved Tanner Tilbert. Everybody loved Jared also, It's
- 1:04:57Speaker 1: just like they kind of were like two in one
- 1:05:00Speaker 1: um and Tanner Tilbert was one of the guys. There
- 1:05:04Speaker 1: was a lot of us at the end of Tanna.
- 1:05:06Speaker 1: I want to kind of go back to this moment
- 1:05:07Speaker 1: we're standing in Ireland on the night that you got
- 1:05:10Speaker 1: asked to go home. I remember we're all standing there
- 1:05:13Speaker 1: after this long journey with Caitlin, and I was one
- 1:05:17Speaker 1: of these guys, but I think there's three of us
- 1:05:19Speaker 1: that started tear up knowing that one of our close
- 1:05:21Speaker 1: friends were going to be going home that evening, and
- 1:05:23Speaker 1: it was really sad, but the romance was real. Yeah,
- 1:05:28Speaker 1: I honestly had a figure. I had a play a
- 1:05:30Speaker 1: bigger connection with you that and I did with Caitlin.
- 1:05:33Speaker 1: Tough moment. Tough moment for me for sure. I mean
- 1:05:37Speaker 1: Jared did kind of have that role that season. Um
- 1:05:40Speaker 1: just kind of where we kept hanging around and obviously
- 1:05:42Speaker 1: there admitted a little further than I. But yeah, yeah,
- 1:05:46Speaker 1: that the love was real between us, bros. I didn't
- 1:05:49Speaker 1: even really know Kalen, but I knew you pretty well. Yeah,
- 1:05:52Speaker 1: we knew each other very well. But everybody in the house,
- 1:05:55Speaker 1: all the men loved loved you you also, And then
- 1:05:58Speaker 1: I know Ashley wants to dig into her lationship and
- 1:06:00Speaker 1: I think it's important that we do. But there is
- 1:06:02Speaker 1: this interesting did you ever kiss Caitlin. I did not
- 1:06:05Speaker 1: on camera. It's just for you know, just for my
- 1:06:08Speaker 1: memory at this point America America didn't think that I did,
- 1:06:12Speaker 1: but you know I laid it on her a couple
- 1:06:14Speaker 1: of times. That's for another story. Yeah, I think I
- 1:06:19Speaker 1: think all the guys in the house just because they
- 1:06:21Speaker 1: knew I was no threat to their relationship with Calan,
- 1:06:24Speaker 1: So that's easy to be like every week. Tanner was
- 1:06:29Speaker 1: shocked that he made it through. He's like, wait, what
- 1:06:31Speaker 1: she called my name again? This is just wrong for sure.
- 1:06:36Speaker 1: Uh um, Hey, tell me about your your last vacation.
- 1:06:39Speaker 1: You went to Puerto Rico together here last week? Yeah, Tim,
- 1:06:42Speaker 1: do we have any stories to share other than just
- 1:06:44Speaker 1: the fact that it was lovely. The thing that I
- 1:06:46Speaker 1: love about Jane Tanner is that we can sit down
- 1:06:49Speaker 1: to like two meals, like to two hour meals every
- 1:06:52Speaker 1: day and we never run out of things to say.
- 1:06:55Speaker 1: We talked the entire time, and they're the friends that
- 1:06:58Speaker 1: you don't go back to the hotel invent about. You're
- 1:07:01Speaker 1: just like, wow, I love them. Wow. I could actually
- 1:07:03Speaker 1: spend every hour together with them exactly. We feel the
- 1:07:08Speaker 1: same way. So yeah, there's not really stories now that
- 1:07:11Speaker 1: we're both like you, I'm married or engaged couples. Nothing
- 1:07:14Speaker 1: cool happens anymore. I go to dinner and go to sleep.
- 1:07:19Speaker 1: There's no there's no juicy stories like there were back
- 1:07:22Speaker 1: and you know the Creatuared Nashally together all yeah, nothing,
- 1:07:27Speaker 1: nothing that comes to mind, right. Actually, we watched some
- 1:07:30Speaker 1: HD HDTV together. That's what we do on This is
- 1:07:33Speaker 1: the most exciting. Like we actually we went back to
- 1:07:37Speaker 1: our hotel rooms by ten thirty and we're like, yeah,
- 1:07:40Speaker 1: it is about house Hunters time. And then we were
- 1:07:42Speaker 1: texting each other from our respective rooms about Hunters. Tanner,
- 1:07:48Speaker 1: I'm very very interested. Has the dynamic between Ashley and
- 1:07:52Speaker 1: Jared changed. I mean obviously a little bit like they're affectionate,
- 1:07:56Speaker 1: but have have have you felt a drastic change now
- 1:07:59Speaker 1: that they're engaged compared to before when they were just friends? Um,
- 1:08:04Speaker 1: I mean they're they still act like they acted like
- 1:08:06Speaker 1: best friends before because they were, and they still act
- 1:08:09Speaker 1: like best friends just now. Jared is just just constantly
- 1:08:12Speaker 1: kissing like Ashley's shoulder instead of sitting on opf the
- 1:08:15Speaker 1: side of the table. He doesn't get off of me.
- 1:08:18Speaker 1: I'm not Jared. Jared is very high and the whole
- 1:08:20Speaker 1: pd I train or pd A train. Who have thought, Like, really,
- 1:08:25Speaker 1: go back nine months and who would have believed you
- 1:08:27Speaker 1: if you said, like, oh, yeah, Jared can't keep his
- 1:08:30Speaker 1: hands up Ashley. Nobody. I remember when you guys were
- 1:08:33Speaker 1: both single and when we were in the Bahamas and
- 1:08:34Speaker 1: I was like begging him to go kiss you, yeah
- 1:08:37Speaker 1: for Instagram. I don't know. Yeah, I was like, I
- 1:08:40Speaker 1: don't know, man, I don't know. Not now forwards two
- 1:08:43Speaker 1: years later, the dude can't keep his hands off of you.
- 1:08:47Speaker 1: Did you change like perfumer or something, ash No. His
- 1:08:51Speaker 1: pheromones have quite an effect on me though. I just
- 1:08:54Speaker 1: love his natural smell, Like his face smells so good
- 1:08:57Speaker 1: to me. I don't know, it's weird, but yeah, Tanner
- 1:09:02Speaker 1: and Jade and Emmy. Emmy was the best on this trip,
- 1:09:04Speaker 1: you guys. She isn't a little adult now, she cried.
- 1:09:08Speaker 1: I think I saw like water come out of her
- 1:09:10Speaker 1: eyes once in four days and we were doing adult
- 1:09:14Speaker 1: stuff like going to fancy dinners and touring around old
- 1:09:17Speaker 1: San Juan, and she was so good and she's starting
- 1:09:20Speaker 1: to talk a little bit. This one time and she
- 1:09:22Speaker 1: said dad, Dad, Like we literally flipped out. Yeah, there's
- 1:09:25Speaker 1: the year. The year is kind of the sweet spot.
- 1:09:27Speaker 1: So when you guys have kids, don't even bother traveling.
- 1:09:30Speaker 1: That first year's not worth it. But after that year,
- 1:09:33Speaker 1: if everything gets much easier, Yeah, tell us about Emmy.
- 1:09:37Speaker 1: You know, Tanner, I get to see it on Instagram
- 1:09:39Speaker 1: and and you and Jade both post these loving pictures
- 1:09:42Speaker 1: of your beautiful daughter. But for anybody out there listening,
- 1:09:45Speaker 1: they're huge fans of you and Jade. You and Jade
- 1:09:47Speaker 1: have made your mark on baschelination. Uh, talk about a
- 1:09:50Speaker 1: little bit about where you guys are at as a couple.
- 1:09:52Speaker 1: And then how am you doing? I mean, you're doing good.
- 1:09:55Speaker 1: You just turned fourteen months. She has not walked yet,
- 1:09:58Speaker 1: but she's a little behind on the we're working on that.
- 1:10:03Speaker 1: Jade and I have been trying to see baby number
- 1:10:05Speaker 1: two for a few months now and we opulation period
- 1:10:10Speaker 1: last days. You know what that means, Well, they can't
- 1:10:16Speaker 1: get pregnant before the wedding. There's is it's like funny
- 1:10:19Speaker 1: because they have to stop trying in December. They can't.
- 1:10:22Speaker 1: They can't do it in December when she's opulating, because
- 1:10:26Speaker 1: then she wouldn't be able to come to the wedding, right, Yeah,
- 1:10:30Speaker 1: we can't have that. We can't have to do days then,
- 1:10:32Speaker 1: So I'm pretty much I got late this week. This
- 1:10:38Speaker 1: is really the last month they can do it because
- 1:10:41Speaker 1: she was at eight months. She had Emmy at eight months,
- 1:10:44Speaker 1: so you know, just really skip November in December for us. Yeah,
- 1:10:47Speaker 1: though I might be celibant until January. Garrett, all right, well, Tander,
- 1:10:56Speaker 1: we've gotta let you go. Thank you so much, um,
- 1:10:58Speaker 1: and hopefully we have you in here soon talking about
- 1:11:02Speaker 1: the preparations for what you're gonna say. Alright, talk to
- 1:11:07Speaker 1: you later. I love you. Bye. Then we have a
- 1:11:12Speaker 1: little bit more to talk about in this podcast. But
- 1:11:16Speaker 1: I have another thing that's happened to me this week
- 1:11:18Speaker 1: that I have to share with you. I got the
- 1:11:19Speaker 1: results of my twenty three in me and I have
- 1:11:23Speaker 1: only four percent Italian. What did you think? I'm having
- 1:11:27Speaker 1: an identity crisis. I just have this feeling that you're
- 1:11:31Speaker 1: like a part of Royalty and I'm gonna have to
- 1:11:33Speaker 1: hear about it forever. Now. Well, I did find out
- 1:11:36Speaker 1: that I'm also like fourteen Irish and British. Who would
- 1:11:40Speaker 1: have thought? So maybe I do have some britt Royalty
- 1:11:43Speaker 1: in me. But I never knew that. So my dad
- 1:11:46Speaker 1: got these results. I got the results back from mine,
- 1:11:48Speaker 1: and then he's looking at them and he's like, Grandpa
- 1:11:51Speaker 1: must have been half Italian and he probably was like
- 1:11:54Speaker 1: half British as well, Like, isn't that insane? If if
- 1:11:58Speaker 1: you feel like we had this covers before, But if
- 1:12:01Speaker 1: if you feel like this world is more divided than
- 1:12:03Speaker 1: ever and you're tired of hearing about all the things
- 1:12:05Speaker 1: that separate us, you're gonna have to check out Spit.
- 1:12:08Speaker 1: Spit is actually a podcast with I Heart Radio and
- 1:12:13Speaker 1: twenty three and Me where they explore all things d
- 1:12:16Speaker 1: n A and how we are all actually nine nine
- 1:12:19Speaker 1: point five percent genetically alike. The host sit down with
- 1:12:24Speaker 1: the biggest stars, including John Legend and Melissa Etheridge and
- 1:12:27Speaker 1: other influencers to talk about how the world of genetic
- 1:12:31Speaker 1: testing is changing who we are in the world around us.
- 1:12:34Speaker 1: They explore a variety of important topics such as how
- 1:12:38Speaker 1: science stacks up against the stories that we've been told,
- 1:12:41Speaker 1: and how much is nature and how much is nurture,
- 1:12:44Speaker 1: and the modern definition of family genetics, race and out
- 1:12:48Speaker 1: sparting our genes, and a whole lot more. Ben I
- 1:12:52Speaker 1: can't wait for you to take twenty three and me
- 1:12:54Speaker 1: and to let me know how surprised you are at
- 1:12:56Speaker 1: your heritage, because now when people are like, what's your ethnicity,
- 1:12:59Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, honestly, every day, I'm just like
- 1:13:01Speaker 1: a European mundy. When you did it, what did you
- 1:13:03Speaker 1: have to do? All you do is you spit into
- 1:13:06Speaker 1: this thing, which is kind of gross, and my sister
- 1:13:08Speaker 1: was hilarous. So you're not supposed to eat and drink
- 1:13:12Speaker 1: for half an hour before you spit into this vial
- 1:13:15Speaker 1: and she couldn't get enough spit. And it does say
- 1:13:17Speaker 1: in the instructions. You're like, you're supposed to it might
- 1:13:20Speaker 1: take five minutes to get as much spit as you need.
- 1:13:23Speaker 1: But in order to make as much saliva as she needed,
- 1:13:27Speaker 1: she had to YouTube videos of pizza salva. Yes so hard.
- 1:13:35Speaker 1: And then and then a couple of weeks later, we
- 1:13:37Speaker 1: found out that we're only four Italian. Wow, did you
- 1:13:41Speaker 1: guys match? I mean your sister so I'm assuming, but
- 1:13:43Speaker 1: like it exactly, it matched. How crazy would it be
- 1:13:47Speaker 1: if it came back different? I'm like, oh my god, yeah,
- 1:13:51Speaker 1: I just wondered, like that'd be super cool. Mom, we
- 1:13:55Speaker 1: have a problem, big issue for my dad's birthday. It
- 1:14:00Speaker 1: is just last week. We got him at twenty three
- 1:14:01Speaker 1: and me, so it should be getting in the mail
- 1:14:03Speaker 1: and I'm like, Dad, why do you need that? You
- 1:14:04Speaker 1: know you have learned my results, but he wants to
- 1:14:06Speaker 1: really see like what his breakdown is. That's right, Hey,
- 1:14:10Speaker 1: we have a couple of questions. We're gonna finish the podcast.
- 1:14:13Speaker 1: Jordan's and Jenna Also, Wills has disappeared. What a Bachelor
- 1:14:19Speaker 1: at Favorite Contestants is just nowhere to be found? Where
- 1:14:23Speaker 1: is he? Let's find out? Only here on the almost
- 1:14:26Speaker 1: famous podcast Julian, Hello, how are you? Hey? Jillian? You're
- 1:14:32Speaker 1: a fan of the podcast and a lawyer, so we thought,
- 1:14:34Speaker 1: how perfect would it be to have you on and
- 1:14:36Speaker 1: talk about the legality of this Jordan's and Jenna drama.
- 1:14:40Speaker 1: Give us your perspective. It's great to talk to you both. Um.
- 1:14:45Speaker 1: I was actually listening to the last podcast and I
- 1:14:48Speaker 1: heard Ben talking about this, and I thought to myself,
- 1:14:50Speaker 1: would be great to provide a little bit of clarity
- 1:14:54Speaker 1: as to what's been going on. M So I've been
- 1:14:56Speaker 1: following the story. I watched Bachelor and Power at Dice
- 1:15:00Speaker 1: than I was really um, kind of captivated by this
- 1:15:03Speaker 1: dispute between the two of them, and UM, you know,
- 1:15:07Speaker 1: in terms of this forensic report, that was really what
- 1:15:10Speaker 1: stood out to me. UM. You know, three pages long.
- 1:15:13Speaker 1: I feel like the average person doesn't even want to
- 1:15:15Speaker 1: read through the whole thing. UM, but I wanted to
- 1:15:17Speaker 1: sort of explain how these things happen. So, you know,
- 1:15:21Speaker 1: usually when there's a legal dispute and there are two
- 1:15:25Speaker 1: very different versions of what happened, a law firm will
- 1:15:29Speaker 1: go ahead and hire a company like Protest three, which
- 1:15:32Speaker 1: is too Jenna's law firm hired UM, and their jobs,
- 1:15:36Speaker 1: just so we're clear, is not to provide a neutral
- 1:15:40Speaker 1: report of the analysis of whatever they're looking at. Um.
- 1:15:44Speaker 1: They're hired by the law firm that was hired by Jenna,
- 1:15:48Speaker 1: and their job is to figure out a way to
- 1:15:52Speaker 1: support her story. UM. So just just so we're clear
- 1:15:56Speaker 1: on that they're not neutral, they're they're kind of coming
- 1:15:58Speaker 1: at it with a bias because they're being paid by
- 1:16:00Speaker 1: a certain side, and ideally the report should the purpose
- 1:16:05Speaker 1: of it should be to clear her name. UM. And
- 1:16:08Speaker 1: what I found really interesting is that even with that
- 1:16:12Speaker 1: being the case, I don't think they even came close
- 1:16:15Speaker 1: to clearing her name. Um. And that really says a
- 1:16:18Speaker 1: lot because that's their job, and so the fact that
- 1:16:20Speaker 1: they weren't able to do that, I don't think is
- 1:16:23Speaker 1: really great for Jenna's story. Um. But at the same time,
- 1:16:27Speaker 1: I think that the purpose of her releasing this report
- 1:16:31Speaker 1: was with the goal of clearing herself. UM. And I
- 1:16:35Speaker 1: feel like maybe the average person might read this and
- 1:16:37Speaker 1: sort of, you know, become suspicious of Jordan's But if
- 1:16:41Speaker 1: you look at the report, clearly there are certain things
- 1:16:44Speaker 1: in there that sort of were red flags to me. Um,
- 1:16:49Speaker 1: you know. And I think the biggest thing that I
- 1:16:51Speaker 1: noticed is that, uh, you know, if you look on
- 1:16:53Speaker 1: the first page of the report, they talked about the
- 1:16:56Speaker 1: fact that there were only two D sixty nine recovered
- 1:16:59Speaker 1: deleted text messages, and that seemed like a very low
- 1:17:02Speaker 1: number to me. Uh, there were all in all pool
- 1:17:06Speaker 1: there were about text messages and only two D sixty
- 1:17:10Speaker 1: nine recover text messages that were deleted. And the phone
- 1:17:14Speaker 1: that she had, if I am right, I think that phone,
- 1:17:16Speaker 1: the iPhone six, was released in two thousand fourteen, so
- 1:17:20Speaker 1: that's a pretty old phone and I just think it's odd.
- 1:17:24Speaker 1: Where are the rest of the deleted text messages, and
- 1:17:27Speaker 1: if you look at the last page and then you
- 1:17:28Speaker 1: pointed this out that really there's this huge disclaimer at
- 1:17:31Speaker 1: the end thing, you know, we we can only really
- 1:17:34Speaker 1: review what we have. You know, we don't really know
- 1:17:38Speaker 1: what happened here. That's kind of what the end of
- 1:17:40Speaker 1: this letter says. And the truth is, if they don't
- 1:17:43Speaker 1: have all of her text messages, there's really no there's
- 1:17:46Speaker 1: nothing about this report that's helpful. It doesn't really say anything.
- 1:17:50Speaker 1: It's a whole bunch of speculation. Who reviews this then?
- 1:17:54Speaker 1: So the report gets put out there, I mean, it's
- 1:17:57Speaker 1: this whole thing is under investigation by I would imagine,
- 1:18:02Speaker 1: But what a judge in whatever district this has been claimed, like,
- 1:18:05Speaker 1: who's reviewing these reports? Now? Okay, that's a great question.
- 1:18:10Speaker 1: So usually a report like this is created with the
- 1:18:14Speaker 1: idea that the case is going to trial, that someone
- 1:18:17Speaker 1: is filing a lawsuit, and usually there's a battle of
- 1:18:21Speaker 1: the expert. So Jenna would have her report and Jordan's
- 1:18:25Speaker 1: or reality Steve would have their own report. Depending on
- 1:18:28Speaker 1: who she's doing, they would probably hire their own expert,
- 1:18:31Speaker 1: and then this goes in front of a judge or
- 1:18:33Speaker 1: a jury and really it comes down to who the
- 1:18:38Speaker 1: person who's trying the case believes. Because this would be
- 1:18:42Speaker 1: a civil case, you don't have to prove who's right
- 1:18:45Speaker 1: beyond a reasonable doubt. There's a much lower burden. So
- 1:18:48Speaker 1: really it's is the question is who do you believe more?
- 1:18:51Speaker 1: It's really who do you believe is telling the truth?
- 1:18:55Speaker 1: Who's more likely to be telling the truth? And my
- 1:18:58Speaker 1: personal takeaway from this, usually with an expert report, at
- 1:19:02Speaker 1: the end of the report you'll have a conclusion, and
- 1:19:05Speaker 1: the conclusion will say, you know, we've concluded within a
- 1:19:09Speaker 1: reasonable degree of scientific certainty that in this case, Jenna
- 1:19:14Speaker 1: did not send these text messages. You'll notice in this
- 1:19:17Speaker 1: report it doesn't say anything close to that, nothing like that.
- 1:19:21Speaker 1: So I mean, I'm almost surprised that she released the report,
- 1:19:25Speaker 1: and the report itself is so weak to me that
- 1:19:28Speaker 1: I doubt she'll ever take this to court because this report,
- 1:19:31Speaker 1: I don't feel really helps her. So I think what
- 1:19:34Speaker 1: she was trying to do, if I had to guess,
- 1:19:37Speaker 1: is hire a company that usually you would use if
- 1:19:40Speaker 1: you're going to file a lawsuit, But she hired them
- 1:19:43Speaker 1: specifically to clear her name uh to the public, just
- 1:19:47Speaker 1: to make herself the innocent and then move forward field
- 1:19:51Speaker 1: bait and switch. So she's hoping that this release is
- 1:19:54Speaker 1: going to look like she didn't do it, but in
- 1:19:57Speaker 1: a lawyer's eyes, it looks even more like you did it. Yes,
- 1:20:02Speaker 1: exactly what who exactly is she suing? I heard Amy
- 1:20:06Speaker 1: kind of asking the background there, and I think it's
- 1:20:09Speaker 1: the question that we've all had because the report mentions
- 1:20:11Speaker 1: Jordan's name but also claims that Reality Steve is at
- 1:20:14Speaker 1: the head of this. It's Reality Steve that she's suing. Correct,
- 1:20:18Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I haven't heard that she's
- 1:20:20Speaker 1: doing anybody. And when she posted this, she wrote onward
- 1:20:24Speaker 1: and upward, which I took to mean that she's trying
- 1:20:26Speaker 1: to walk away from it. If she did try to
- 1:20:29Speaker 1: do I would imagine she would se both Reality Steve
- 1:20:33Speaker 1: and Jordan's um. And then the question is, you know,
- 1:20:36Speaker 1: how can she prove her case? So typically in a
- 1:20:39Speaker 1: defamation case, you have to prove that what's being said
- 1:20:42Speaker 1: about you is false. Um. But worse than that for
- 1:20:46Speaker 1: her is you know, the question becomes is she a
- 1:20:48Speaker 1: public figure or not? So if she is, sorry, she
- 1:20:53Speaker 1: is a public figure, right, So I mean it's It's
- 1:20:56Speaker 1: interesting because if she's a publish figure, which I would
- 1:21:00Speaker 1: think she wants people to think of her as a
- 1:21:01Speaker 1: public figure, um, the burden is a lot higher. So
- 1:21:06Speaker 1: when you're a public figure and you're trying to prove
- 1:21:08Speaker 1: that someone disamed you, you have to prove it when
- 1:21:11Speaker 1: they said what they said about you, they knew what
- 1:21:14Speaker 1: they were saying was fault or they completely disregarded the truth.
- 1:21:19Speaker 1: It's hard to win, right, very hard. It's a lot
- 1:21:23Speaker 1: harder than if she was, you know, just a regular person.
- 1:21:26Speaker 1: So I personally wouldn't think she's going to do I mean,
- 1:21:31Speaker 1: I just I can't imagine that she would. But you
- 1:21:34Speaker 1: never know. This whole thing is just blown up to
- 1:21:37Speaker 1: something that I don't still don't understand, Like it's not good,
- 1:21:41Speaker 1: you know, I don't like that anybody is getting Australis
- 1:21:44Speaker 1: and criticized for this. But it's a breakup, Like why
- 1:21:48Speaker 1: do we have to continue to drag this along? You're
- 1:21:50Speaker 1: in the reality television world. People are going to talk
- 1:21:52Speaker 1: about your breakup like that just happens all the time.
- 1:21:56Speaker 1: Why would I go out there and try to sue
- 1:21:58Speaker 1: every single publication that talked about Lauren and I breaking up.
- 1:22:02Speaker 1: That seems like a big waste of my time. I
- 1:22:04Speaker 1: think if the goal here is for her to repair
- 1:22:07Speaker 1: her public image, she should just leave it with this
- 1:22:11Speaker 1: report and walk away, because I don't really think it's
- 1:22:14Speaker 1: going to be good for her to keep pursuing this.
- 1:22:17Speaker 1: I just don't think it's really going to go anywhere
- 1:22:19Speaker 1: that's positive for her. I agree, I agree. Hey, thank
- 1:22:22Speaker 1: you so much for coming on talking about this. This
- 1:22:24Speaker 1: is something as you heard last week as you listen
- 1:22:26Speaker 1: to the podcast, I didn't quite understand. I don't know
- 1:22:29Speaker 1: if I ever really actually wanted to understand it, but
- 1:22:31Speaker 1: now you really helped me. You really helped me understand it.
- 1:22:35Speaker 1: Thanks for emailing the podcast. It's crazy. Email our podcast.
- 1:22:38Speaker 1: You said, Hey, I have some insight into this, and
- 1:22:40Speaker 1: as a result, now you're educating to both of us.
- 1:22:43Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on them. And I
- 1:22:46Speaker 1: want to say I thought you did a pretty good
- 1:22:48Speaker 1: job of explaining it, So goodated your effort. Absolutely try hard.
- 1:22:56Speaker 1: All right, Thanks guys, it was great talking to you.
- 1:22:59Speaker 1: Thanks Jane. We'll have you on call for our next
- 1:23:01Speaker 1: legal issue in Bachelor Nation. Take care alright, Well, Wills
- 1:23:08Speaker 1: has disappeared. Yeah, that was gonna say we have another
- 1:23:11Speaker 1: mystery on our hands. Yeah, before we go here, Um,
- 1:23:14Speaker 1: this has been what we just talk to you for
- 1:23:16Speaker 1: a second. The off season is usually so slow and
- 1:23:20Speaker 1: so boring, and then we have to come up with
- 1:23:22Speaker 1: crazy little segments like ben Bitches and we still have
- 1:23:24Speaker 1: that on taple. We we're going at a time because
- 1:23:27Speaker 1: there's so much happening this year. When it comes to
- 1:23:29Speaker 1: the almost famous podcast in Bachelor Nation, Ashley tell us
- 1:23:33Speaker 1: about Wills where do You Go? So it was brought
- 1:23:36Speaker 1: to our attention today by producer Amy that they've been
- 1:23:39Speaker 1: talking in the almost famous Facebook group about the disappearance
- 1:23:43Speaker 1: of Wills. Um. Wills is of course from Becca season
- 1:23:48Speaker 1: and then this past season to Bachelor in Paradise, and
- 1:23:50Speaker 1: he hasn't posted anything on Instagram for the past month,
- 1:23:55Speaker 1: which I would be like, okay, so maybe he just
- 1:23:57Speaker 1: doesn't want to take part in the whole Instagram world
- 1:23:59Speaker 1: of the match like that. That's totally fine. Yeah, I
- 1:24:03Speaker 1: mean maybe maybe he was feeling defeated. Maybe you feel
- 1:24:05Speaker 1: like it wasn't getting enough attention on there, so he's like, okay,
- 1:24:07Speaker 1: I give up. But then things got really weird when
- 1:24:09Speaker 1: I texted this morning and I said, hey, it's Ashley. I.
- 1:24:12Speaker 1: We were wondering if you wanted to come on the
- 1:24:14Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast. And it's been three hours and he
- 1:24:17Speaker 1: hasn't responded. Delivered it says delivered. I think that he is,
- 1:24:21Speaker 1: you know, maybe kidnapped. He's on a show. Oh my god,
- 1:24:26Speaker 1: you're so right. That could be spoiling. Did you know that? No,
- 1:24:32Speaker 1: but I guarantee that happens. Like all these guys come
- 1:24:34Speaker 1: on the show now and they get called like EMPTV
- 1:24:36Speaker 1: the Challenge, or they get called on some other dating
- 1:24:38Speaker 1: show like Marriage boot Camp, when all of a sudden
- 1:24:41Speaker 1: they have a secret you then they disappear again. So
- 1:24:45Speaker 1: I guarantee, goodness. Do you think Ben is in the
- 1:24:49Speaker 1: c I A but it delivered And normally their phones
- 1:24:52Speaker 1: are off Renaissance man, I wear a lot of hats
- 1:24:54Speaker 1: amy really clever, clever move that I did not think
- 1:24:58Speaker 1: of their Yeah, So I mean it's it's interesting that
- 1:25:01Speaker 1: the text delivered. You know what he's on? Probably what
- 1:25:05Speaker 1: was that show that was airing after Jersey? Sure that Uma? Yeah?
- 1:25:12Speaker 1: What was excellent? Ex on the Beach. He's on excea
- 1:25:16Speaker 1: career move, terrific career move. Nothing is better than going
- 1:25:20Speaker 1: on X on the beach to really enhance your public image.
- 1:25:22Speaker 1: Let's see if he hits back, because some people, not
- 1:25:25Speaker 1: Ashley or me, don't respond to text so quickly. Like
- 1:25:30Speaker 1: man Bennet hit pretty good. But sometimes he disappears for
- 1:25:35Speaker 1: a day. But like, I'm right back to you. So
- 1:25:37Speaker 1: if you don't get right back to oh my god,
- 1:25:41Speaker 1: you have to at some point in the day. I
- 1:25:46Speaker 1: just put my phone away, So it's all good. Hey,
- 1:25:49Speaker 1: Will just disappeared. Um. Ashley Spivey uh showed up big
- 1:25:54Speaker 1: and came on the podcast to tell her story. We
- 1:25:56Speaker 1: have insight into Jordan and Jenna Tannard told told my
- 1:25:59Speaker 1: arching sist comes on the podcast talk about Ashley and
- 1:26:02Speaker 1: Jared and their love story. It's actually something I love.
- 1:26:04Speaker 1: I don't think it's great that he's doing it. Um
- 1:26:07Speaker 1: or you go. We have an announcement. We have a
- 1:26:09Speaker 1: huge announcement, and I just want to say, I'm gonna
- 1:26:11Speaker 1: have a lot more fun at your wedding now. Actually,
- 1:26:13Speaker 1: now that I'm not doing um the actual wedding, I
- 1:26:16Speaker 1: am going to be an absolute riot. It's savage the
- 1:26:19Speaker 1: things I'm gonna do at your wedding. And I'm going
- 1:26:20Speaker 1: to ruin the whole thing, the little gumby dance that
- 1:26:23Speaker 1: you'll be doing. Um A. I Heart Radio has been
- 1:26:27Speaker 1: a huge, huge supporter of mine. Ashley and I are
- 1:26:31Speaker 1: very thankful for I Heart Radio. It's been a really
- 1:26:34Speaker 1: good partnership over the last two years. And now I
- 1:26:37Speaker 1: heard it's kind of taking it up a notch and
- 1:26:39Speaker 1: doing something for me that is very personal. You've heard
- 1:26:41Speaker 1: me talk about it, Ashley Spivey and I actually just
- 1:26:43Speaker 1: talked about it. UH. Humanity and Hope United is an
- 1:26:46Speaker 1: organization that I care a ton about. It's something I've
- 1:26:49Speaker 1: been working with for the last eight years. I'm on
- 1:26:51Speaker 1: the board and I go to Honduras three or four
- 1:26:53Speaker 1: times a year with this organization to try and find
- 1:26:56Speaker 1: ways to build sustainable solutions in communities that feel forgotten.
- 1:27:01Speaker 1: One of those ways, and I'll speed it up here,
- 1:27:03Speaker 1: is that we have a community that is completely dependent
- 1:27:07Speaker 1: on thirty acres of land. It's called we called the
- 1:27:10Speaker 1: Grand Farm. The Grand Farm supplies plus people with jobs
- 1:27:15Speaker 1: every week, and those jobs and help them pay for education, healthcare, transportation,
- 1:27:21Speaker 1: clean water, et cetera. Well, the Grand Farm is something
- 1:27:24Speaker 1: that currently Humaning Hope United leases, but there's a palm
- 1:27:27Speaker 1: company happens often in Honduras coming in to say we
- 1:27:30Speaker 1: want this land. It's good land. We want to buy
- 1:27:32Speaker 1: it out from underneath you. And the only way that
- 1:27:34Speaker 1: we can stop them from doing that is to buy
- 1:27:36Speaker 1: it ourselves. If we don't buy it, we're gonna lose
- 1:27:39Speaker 1: opportunity for these jobs. Are gonna lose the place for
- 1:27:41Speaker 1: these jobs. And so I was telling the story to
- 1:27:43Speaker 1: producer Amy and Ashley and I Heart Radio, and they said, well,
- 1:27:46Speaker 1: let's do something about it here on the podcast. Let's
- 1:27:49Speaker 1: do a fundraiser to raise money for Humanity, Hope United
- 1:27:52Speaker 1: and the Grand Farm so that people in Honduras continue
- 1:27:55Speaker 1: to have jobs and can continue to invest and the
- 1:27:59Speaker 1: sustainability the and the progress of their lives. So, Amy,
- 1:28:04Speaker 1: I would love for you to explain everybody out there
- 1:28:06Speaker 1: listening the details of this fundraiser what it looks. We
- 1:28:10Speaker 1: have two big ones coming up, so we're going to
- 1:28:11Speaker 1: reveal the first one today and basically next week. You
- 1:28:15Speaker 1: can go to if Only dot com and you can
- 1:28:17Speaker 1: bid on a charity auction to come in studio with
- 1:28:21Speaker 1: Ben and Ashley co host the Almost Famous podcast. Then
- 1:28:26Speaker 1: Ben is going to take you to the brand new
- 1:28:28Speaker 1: Palisades Village where you get a shopping spree at Carbon
- 1:28:33Speaker 1: thirty eight, which is like amazing workout clothes. You get
- 1:28:36Speaker 1: to go to Lauren Conrad store and have a shopping
- 1:28:39Speaker 1: spree there. Her news store is called the Little Market
- 1:28:41Speaker 1: and it's there's a great story behind the Little Market
- 1:28:43Speaker 1: which I will totally go into. But everything is made
- 1:28:46Speaker 1: by women in other countries, UM, and all the money
- 1:28:50Speaker 1: goes back into those communities to help those women. And
- 1:28:54Speaker 1: then Ben's going to take you out to dinner. So
- 1:28:56Speaker 1: if you go to if only dot com and you
- 1:28:58Speaker 1: can search Ben Higgins, but Ben will post the link
- 1:29:01Speaker 1: on his um Instagram story for us with a swipe up,
- 1:29:04Speaker 1: and then you can bid right there. And then we
- 1:29:06Speaker 1: have in a couple more weeks another fundraiser. All I'll
- 1:29:11Speaker 1: tell you is it involves dating someone from the Bachelorette. Oh,
- 1:29:20Speaker 1: Amy Ashley, everybody out there, this is super exciting. I
- 1:29:24Speaker 1: heart radio. I appreciate it. He many hope you appreciates it.
- 1:29:26Speaker 1: Let's raise. We have two dollars to raise by March
- 1:29:30Speaker 1: of two nineteen. I think we can do it, UM
- 1:29:34Speaker 1: and this is a huge step in that. So Amy,
- 1:29:36Speaker 1: thank you so much I heard radio. Thank you actually
- 1:29:38Speaker 1: thank you. Also thank you to bio Clarity. Our listeners
- 1:29:41Speaker 1: will get their first month for off a routine. Plus
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- 1:30:17Speaker 1: first box, making it only and finally, twenty three and
- 1:30:23Speaker 1: me Welcome to the almost This podcast. Make sure to
- 1:30:26Speaker 1: check out full episodes of spit Now on iHeart Radio
- 1:30:30Speaker 1: app or wherever you listen to podcast amy. I know
- 1:30:34Speaker 1: before we go out of a one out of ten,
- 1:30:38Speaker 1: how good is the West Wing? I will continue to
- 1:30:40Speaker 1: watch it no matter what. But anybody out there listening
- 1:30:44Speaker 1: that's like, but let's say fifteen to twenty five who
- 1:30:47Speaker 1: probably weren't started. Should we tell them to watch West
- 1:30:52Speaker 1: Wing a million percent? I don't know how to explain it.
- 1:30:56Speaker 1: Everybody watch a few watch the first season, and get
- 1:30:59Speaker 1: back to me. There's no way you're not going to
- 1:31:00Speaker 1: tell me it's amazing. It's amazing. I watched so much
- 1:31:04Speaker 1: television and I would put this up there in my
- 1:31:06Speaker 1: top five shows of all time, of all all weekend,
- 1:31:12Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna be mad at you the whole
- 1:31:13Speaker 1: time because it's gonna be so good. I think you
- 1:31:15Speaker 1: have like eight years or something. I think he was
- 1:31:18Speaker 1: did two terms, so there's like six to eight seasons.
- 1:31:21Speaker 1: You got a long way to go. Watch me, kid. Hey,
- 1:31:25Speaker 1: this has been an awesome podcast. Thanks everybody came on,
- 1:31:27Speaker 1: thanks to our sponsors, Thanks to Heart Radio. With that,
- 1:31:30Speaker 1: I've been been talked to you next week. Follow the
- 1:31:34Speaker 1: Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart
- 1:31:37Speaker 1: Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts