Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon Stewart on Trump_s _Meritocracy_ _ Desi Lydic on MAGA Moving Iran Goalposts _ The Daily Show

Transcript

Jon Stewart on Trump_s _Meritocracy_ _ Desi Lydic on MAGA Moving Iran Goalposts _ The Daily Show · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: The World Cup ended yesterday finito with Spain defeating Argentina
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: 1-0 on the pitch, in the footy. The Spain-Argentina final
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: was like a reverse Super Bowl where the players spoke
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Spanish and the halftime show was in English. They had
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Madonna and Justin Bieber and for some reason, the Muppets.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Holy shit. Is that the count? You got all the
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Muppets to choose from. Why in God's name would you
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: make the vampire work during the day? Not only is
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: it the bright glare of the afternoon sun, but for
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: most of the game, the score was 0-0. You're taunting
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: this poor bastard. I sat in traffic for one, two,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: three hours for this. I'm burning alive. By the way,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: congrats to World Cup champions Spain, Espana, clearly the best
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: team in this year's tournament. And they celebrated receiving the
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: World Cup trophy with a trophy hoist, which is traditionally,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: it's a moment that is shared really only by the players.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: It's a special moment that is only for the players.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: It is really just, what the are you doing on
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: the stage? It's for the players. God damn! Why must
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: everything be tainted by the overinflated ego of Kenkel's Muldoon?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I will admit this. Afterwards, Trump had some really insightful
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: post-game analysis.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: I thought it was incredible. It was four times greater
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: than any FIFA ever held.
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: LAUGHTER What's a FIFA? How do you hold a FIFA?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: How could our FIFA be four times greater than any
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: other FIFA?
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: And it's probably about five times, actually, they're telling me today.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Is that what they told you? You know, they're telling
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: you that because everyone around you Lies to you. Because
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: you're a weirdo, baby. Can we go back a second, though?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: And I don't mean to... What's up with the guy
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: behind Trump? Can we see that again? Can you bring
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: that out? What the, who the is this guy? Who
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: the is this? Is this, what? Who in the world
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: is it? Oh my God, is that a backup Trump?
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Is that?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute. Wait, hold on a second. Wait, what? Wait, who?
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: What?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Is that a backup Trump or is that Trump? Wait,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: is the one we've been dealing with backup Trump? Or
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: is that Trump's Let's move on from the World Cup
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: final to something with no actual end in sight, the
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Iran war. The Iran war is reigniting, and as escalation
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: continues with more intense and widespread bombing, there's no sign
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: that either side is prepared in any way to... God,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: this is.
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: You're not in this graphic!
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: You're not in this graphic. We have talked about this.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: You're not in this graphic. Get him out of the graphic.
• 4:07
  Speaker 7: So needy.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Is that real Trump or backup? I don't know what's happening. Anyway, clearly,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: the war is escalating. And Americans are rightly concerned that
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: we will be drawn even further into a war that
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: has already cost too much in American lives and money.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: And so it was that Donald Trump delivered a primetime
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: national speech on Thursday night to address this urgent situation.
• 4:37
  Speaker 8: In mid-2018, China was working to influence the results of
• 4:42
  Speaker 8: the U.S. midterm elections and later the results of the
• 4:45
  Speaker 8: 2020 elections. presidential election and so they wanted to just
• 4:50
  Speaker 8: make you sound like your president wasn't so hot when
• 4:54
  Speaker 8: actually your president has done a great job.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Those Chinese bastards. I'll have you know, both Presidents Trump
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: are hot as and doing a great job. Blue tie
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: is doing a little better than red tie, but still.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: But yes, apparently the President of the United States called
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: this meeting to announce a new entry in his long-running
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: mystery series, 2020 Election. What had happened was.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: With the turn of a dial or the change of
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: a chip, You can press a button for Trump and
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: the vote goes to Biden.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: Illegal aliens and dead people are voting.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: Big technology companies censored the Hunter Biden laptop story, which
• 5:54
  Speaker 6: independent analysis have said it cost Donald Trump millions of votes.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: That surely would have changed the outcome. I remember back
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: in 2020 when we were all wearing masks and socially
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: distancing for fear we would come across a Hunter Biden
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: dick pic. So now they've settled on maybe China did it,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: a theory that lasted all the way until a few
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: minutes after Thursday night's speech when reporters caught up with
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: John Solomon, the guy Trump hired to find any evidence
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: that China did it.
• 6:31
  Speaker 9: Did you acknowledge that there were no votes changed in 2020?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: All I can acknowledge is what the intelligence shows, right?
• 6:36
  Speaker 10: I only know the intelligence community has zero evidence that
• 6:39
  Speaker 10: someone has flipped, that a foreign power flipped a vote
• 6:42
  Speaker 10: in 2020, 22, or 24.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: The 2020 election was, in fact.
• 6:46
  Speaker 7: The results as we, the American public.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I'm still researching. So let me, let me, this is
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: the first.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: But there's no intelligence.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Can he still see me?
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: The man's literally backpedaling. Look, we have fun.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: But I'm not actually worried about our election security because
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: we have a robust cybersecurity and infrastructure agency that monitors
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: threats to our system. Knowing that that's a priority of
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the Trump administration gives me great comfort.
• 7:25
  Speaker 6: Trump fired a third of the workers last year at CISA,
• 7:29
  Speaker 6: the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Agency.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Nope!
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Well, that news... would have me shitting my pants if
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I wasn't already shitting my pants due to the cuts
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to our food monitoring system that has produced... A nationwide
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: diarrhea outbreak. But at least we have that outbreak under
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: control as our incredibly competent FDA has finally identified the
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: source of the outbreak.
• 8:15
  Speaker 11: The Food and Drug Administration now taking back what it
• 8:17
  Speaker 11: said about the source of the cyclospora outbreak. The FDA
• 8:20
  Speaker 11: now says the sample from Mexico-based Taylor Farms was a
• 8:24
  Speaker 11: false positive. The FDA admitted it made a mistake and apologized.
• 8:29
  Speaker 12: Don't apologize to me.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I apologize to this great nation's gaping, burning anus. You
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. We were talking about it
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: in the questions before the show. Many of these people
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: are here, even though, clearly, have diarrhea. But you know what?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Doesn't even matter. It's fine. We're okay. We can still
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: soothe our burning anuses in the cool, crystal clear waters
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: of our nation's Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool.
• 9:17
  Speaker 13: Tonight, the reflecting pool in the nation's capital being drained again.
• 9:20
  Speaker 14: No!
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: The reflecting pool is closed. Where will we wash our lettuce?
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm starting to get the sense that this
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: administration is not as competent. Stay with me. Not as
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: competent as we've been led to believe. And it's not
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: just the pool or the diarrhea. Trump said he was
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: going to cut our energy bills in half. Electricity's up 18%.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: He said gas prices would go below $ 2. bucks a gallon.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It's up to four bucks a gallon. He said he
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: was going to stop new wars. He's bombed at least
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: seven other countries. He said he was going to lead
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: a blooming manufacturing jobs. We've lost tens of thousands of
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: manufacturing jobs. They said they would be saying Merry Christmas again.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: No one's wished me Merry Christmas in my life. This
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: country was going to enter a golden age because only
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: qualified people would be in charge now. They promised no
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: more of the woke bullshit that had held this country
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: down for so long.
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: We will terminate every diversity, equity, and inclusion program.
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: DEI is a cancer. It's a cancer that destroys merit.
• 10:40
  Speaker 8: We want the most competent people.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: They have to be at the highest level of genius.
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: Meritocracy.
• 10:48
  Speaker 8: Is that a beautiful word?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Meritocracy.
• 10:52
  Speaker 12: It is a beautiful word. Where the f * *
• 10:54
  Speaker 12: * is it? Where is this meritocracy? We have seen
• 11:01
  Speaker 12: no evidence of it.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: None.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: It's just another word like diaphanous or jimothy. May I
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: just say something quickly about Jimothy? Hear me out. Hear
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: me out. I f * * * with Jimothy. I
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: f * * * with Jimothy. I f * *
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: * with him heavy. Now, I know some of you
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: were perhaps worried about what I might say because of
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: my previous punch kerfuffle. Let me tell you people something.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Jimothy is everything Punch wishes he could be. Yes!
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Yes!
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Look!
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Look!
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Look at Jimothy! Look at him cavorting! That's his family
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: cavorting with Jimothy when he was a baby. Look at
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: them all! They love Jimothy. That's not my judgment. That
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: is the judgment of the community. They have decided. Not
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: an easy decision, by the way. I'm sure at first
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: they were like, is that a raccoon or an ottoman?
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know what's happening. But I'll tell you what
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I think Jimothy is. A short king. Point is, Jimothy
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: has merit. Unlike all those that were running the government
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: before Trump and Trump's merry band of gifted and talented
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: technocrats that didn't save the day. First stop for them
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: to save the day was the economy. No longer would
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: our nation's growth engine be hijacked by lesbians and Latin exes.
• 12:47
  Speaker 15: No!
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: The best and the brightest would be in charge from
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: here on out, and the results to the economy would
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: be immediate.
• 12:54
  Speaker 10: I think we're off to a great start, and President
• 12:57
  Speaker 10: Trump's going to bring back the golden age.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Yes! But unfortunately, DEI had a greater stranglehold on the
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: levers of our government than we had originally thought. The
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: first quarter, surely Biden.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: All right, well, the first quarter then, Q2, that ends
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: in April. So April is when our best and brightest, finally,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: it's coming and it's coming now. And I tell you what,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: it feels great. Enough about your Epstein testimony. What about
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: the economy?
• 13:34
  Speaker 10: In the not too distant future, I think we will
• 13:36
  Speaker 10: be back to firing on all cylinders.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: So may? Over the next three months. So the economy
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: will be fixed by our meritocracy three months by August
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: of 2025? I think we're gonna really pick up in
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: the fourth quarter. So no later than December of 2025.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I think we are at the cusp of the liftoff
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: in 2026, 2027.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: That is a long liftoff.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Generally, a liftoff is 10, 9, 8, not 10. January!
• 14:29
  Speaker 15: February!
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: March!
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: But you know what? If this ever-competent administration can't turn
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: this woke-laden economy around, they still have options.
• 14:39
  Speaker 16: Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of
• 14:42
  Speaker 16: 30 dolls, you know?
• 14:44
  Speaker 8: And maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of
• 14:46
  Speaker 8: bucks more than they would normally.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: See, that's what the competence has gotten us. That's what
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: the meritocracy has done for us. The economy's going to
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: boom in a month. In a year, in two years,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: you know what? How many f * * * ing
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: dolls do you people need? Just get two and cut
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: them into pieces. Now you got 16. Older kids get
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: the tops. Younger ones get the bottoms. Punch gets whatever's
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: left over.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: This.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: This meritocracy talk was a sham from the get-go. Remember
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: once uber-capable Elon Musk doged out the unworthy woke deep
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: state minorities? We were supposed to have been cooking with
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: whatever is available to use as fuel. Doge firing thousands
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: of IRS workers, creating chaos. Hundreds of layoffs at the
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Centers for Disease Control, the FAA, and FEMA.
• 15:47
  Speaker 11: 3,500 jobs from the FDA.
• 15:49
  Speaker 9: Hundreds of senior staff at the Department of Homeland Security.
• 15:52
  Speaker 14: Making cuts to the National Weather Service as severe weather
• 15:55
  Speaker 14: moves into the South.
• 15:56
  Speaker 17: Laid off nearly all federal workers who investigate firefighter deaths.
• 16:01
  Speaker 17: Accidentally fired some veterinarians and animal health technicians working to
• 16:06
  Speaker 17: prevent the spread of bird flu.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: You fired the people trying to prevent bird flu? Who's
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: going to teach birds how to sneeze into their elbow?
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: All right. Maybe Doge Sending in teenage uber-menches to gut
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: entire departments on ideological grounds might have led to some problems.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: But hey, at least they reduced the federal deficit.
• 16:30
  Speaker 13: I think it was more important to reduce the federal
• 16:32
  Speaker 13: deficit from two trillion dollars.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: To close to zero.
• 16:36
  Speaker 16: Did you reduce the federal deficit?
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: No, we didn't. Well, the real treasure was the friends
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: you made along the way. Oh wait, you made no friends.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Up and down this administration, we were promised meritocracy. We
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: got ideologues and talk show hosts who, as we reignite
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: a new war with Iran to reopen the strait that
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: they closed because of our original war, throw out shit
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: like this.
• 17:05
  Speaker 14: Today, I'm authorizing a new screening program for testosterone deficiency
• 17:10
  Speaker 14: for our service members, ensuring you have the right testosterone
• 17:14
  Speaker 14: levels to operate at your absolute best.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, you can't spell meritocracy without more T. Yeah, that's right.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Watch out, Iran. We just declared war on these nuts.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Or how about Health and Human Services? How's old Robert F.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Kennedy Jr. doing with that?
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: A growing measles outbreak.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: A deadly outbreak of the hantavirus.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: The flesh-eating screwworm is spreading beyond Texas.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: So help me God, if Jimothy gets screw-wormed, I will
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: f * * * ing go crazy. But it's okay, folks.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: There's no need to be concerned that public health will
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: suffer from unqualified, incomprehensible leadership. They've already dealt with the
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: real problem.
• 18:13
  Speaker 9: We cut a billion dollars worth of DEI studies.
• 18:18
  Speaker 16: DEI research has never cured any disease.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: It's never.
• 18:22
  Speaker 9: produced any new drugs.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Now, excuse for a moment that what he just said
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: is factually.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: F * * * ing wrong.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: That the broad nature of what they consider DEI would
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: exclude treatments for sickle cell anemia, autism, pregnancy complications, women's
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: cardiovascular health, and many other great advances made by the
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: people you all consider suspect. but for you, Robert Kennedy Jr.,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: of all people, to have the balls to hop on
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: board the anti-DEI, only meritocracy train, mother. If your name
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: wasn't Kennedy, here's how all your job interviews would go.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: It says, here you are a heroin addict. who eats roadkill.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Do you have any references with that?
• 19:27
  Speaker 9: I mean, I knew Harvey Weinstein.
• 19:30
  Speaker 16: Bill Cosby came to my house.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I was on Jeffrey Epstein's show two times. Welcome aboard.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 19:43
  Speaker 18: It's insane.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: This whole thing is insane. It's one thing to fall
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: short in his duty to country, but Trump's meritocracy is
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: even struggling with the one thing Trump was supposed to
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: be good at, petty revenge, like the cases he tried
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: to bring against James Comey and New York Attorney General
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Letitia James.
• 19:58
  Speaker 13: Tonight, a federal judge throwing out both criminal cases against
• 20:01
  Speaker 13: two of President Trump's biggest political foes.
• 20:03
  Speaker 10: Judge Cameron Curry finding the prosecutor, Lindsey Halligan, was not
• 20:06
  Speaker 10: an attorney authorized by law to conduct grand jury proceedings.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Well, you can't spell meritocracy. Well, I think actually they
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: can't spell it. But forget lawfare. Trump's meritocracy couldn't even
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: do state fair.
• 20:23
  Speaker 6: More hiccups for the great American state fair at the
• 20:25
  Speaker 6: National Mall.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Struggling to draw a crowd.
• 20:27
  Speaker 7: Penn states or territories did not show up.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Pillars that hover above ground.
• 20:32
  Speaker 14: Vinyl-wrapped buildings have crinkled on occasion.
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: The power went out in the food hall at one
• 20:37
  Speaker 6: point and also on the Ferris wheel.
• 20:39
  Speaker 7: Part of the stage fell while dancers were rehearsing. They
• 20:42
  Speaker 7: can't bring their own water.
• 20:43
  Speaker 11: First responders treating people for heat-related illnesses.
• 20:47
  Speaker 14: Others huddling under a replica of President Trump's triumphal arch
• 20:51
  Speaker 14: for shade.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Is there a better image? that represents the rise of
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Trump's meritocracy than the MAGA faithful huddling under a plywood
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: replica of a memorial Trump is going to erect to
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: himself using money that should have gone to the weather
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: services that would have warned these people about the heat
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: wave they were seeking refuge from.
• 21:20
  Speaker 7: Oh, there it is.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, Lord!
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, great Donald Trump! Bring me your heat-stroked, your bored,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: your huddled masses yearning to rehydrate. For this is Trump's America.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: We were told over and over again that the problem
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: in this country is that government only exists to the
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: benefit of the entitled DEI-mooching class. But the reality seems
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: to be that their version of meritocracy only rewards legacies. fealty,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: and access, leaving the rest of us with the real DEI,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: diarrhea everywhere indefinitely.
• 22:05
  Speaker 7: This weekend was the big World Cup final, and I'd
• 22:08
  Speaker 7: like to congratulate Spain, or España, as we called it
• 22:13
  Speaker 7: during my semester overseas. It marks the end of a
• 22:18
  Speaker 7: wonderful month of soccer co-hosted by the United States, Canada,
• 22:22
  Speaker 7: and Mexico. And in a beautiful moment of unity, Trump
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: watched the game alongside the leader of Canada, ushering in
• 22:29
  Speaker 7: a new era of friendship that will last and last
• 22:34
  Speaker 7: and last. Breaking news, the Trump administration says it is
• 22:37
  Speaker 7: slapping an additional 50% tariff on certain Canadian goods. Oh,
• 22:42
  Speaker 7: mother f * * * er. Fighting again with Canada?
• 22:47
  Speaker 7: I thought we were gonna work this out. Okay, now
• 22:52
  Speaker 7: what are we taxing ourselves to punish Canada for?
• 22:55
  Speaker 18: Everything from Canadian wood and paper and furniture to things
• 22:58
  Speaker 18: like hockey sticks and dairy products.
• 23:02
  Speaker 7: No hockey sticks? What's my husband going to keep jammed
• 23:05
  Speaker 7: in the corner of the garage for the past 15 years? Now, obviously,
• 23:10
  Speaker 7: it's very frustrating to be back in this trade war again,
• 23:13
  Speaker 7: but if you're worried that this is another case of
• 23:15
  Speaker 7: Trump abusing his power, relax. These tariffs are legal under
• 23:19
  Speaker 7: the Smoot-Hawley Act, which has been around since 1930 when
• 23:22
  Speaker 7: it helped prolong and worsen the Great Depression. So, cheer up!
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: But where?
• 23:36
  Speaker 19: Where is this sudden anger with Canada coming from?
• 23:39
  Speaker 7: What's this all about?
• 23:41
  Speaker 20: President Trump is blasting Canada for, quote, willful negligence in
• 23:45
  Speaker 20: its forest management, calling the pollution an unhealthy invasion. Trump
• 23:49
  Speaker 20: went on to threaten Canada with more tariffs due to
• 23:52
  Speaker 20: the wildfire smoke.
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: You've got to stop these fires from coming in and
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: poisoning our air.
• 24:02
  Speaker 7: Are you sure you want America to set a precedent
• 24:05
  Speaker 7: for paying for pollution? I feel like your pals at
• 24:09
  Speaker 7: Pesticide Microplastic Death Diarrhea Lettuce Inc. might have other ideas.
• 24:15
  Speaker 7: I will say the one interesting thing about the wildfires
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: was seeing Trump almost come to a realization.
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: We got to stop the fires up there. I've never
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: remembered this happening. Over the last four or five years,
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: you saw it starting to take place.
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: Go on. You're getting warmer.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Warmer.
• 24:34
  Speaker 19: Catastrophically warmer.
• 24:35
  Speaker 7: I love how he's discovering climate change while standing next
• 24:40
  Speaker 7: to his idling jet. Something is causing this and we
• 24:44
  Speaker 7: have got to get to the bottom of it. Keep
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: the engine running, guys.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: All of them.
• 24:47
  Speaker 7: I haven't decided which plane I'm taking. But let's move
• 24:51
  Speaker 7: on from Trump's war on Canada to his war on
• 24:53
  Speaker 7: personally losing elections.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Look.
• 24:56
  Speaker 7: I know a lot of liberals out there think election
• 24:58
  Speaker 7: fraud isn't a problem, but I assure you it's just
• 25:01
  Speaker 7: as much a threat to the United States as Canada.
• 25:03
  Speaker 7: And that's why last week, Trump gave a primetime address
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: from the White House to offer his solution to fix
• 25:09
  Speaker 7: our elections.
• 25:10
  Speaker 8: Congress must pass the Save America Act. This landmark bill
• 25:16
  Speaker 8: requires that all voters must show photo, voter ID. How
• 25:21
  Speaker 8: simple is that? Could I have your photo, please? Photo
• 25:25
  Speaker 8: voter ID.
• 25:29
  Speaker 7: Even he sounds exhausted by his own election bullshit. Hey, hey,
• 25:34
  Speaker 7: once you turn 80, it is harder to maintain an insurrection.
• 25:37
  Speaker 7: Happens to a lot of guys. Now, if you didn't
• 25:46
  Speaker 7: watch this speech, Trump unveiled a devastating set of documents
• 25:50
  Speaker 7: that conclusively proved the 2020 election was stolen and a
• 25:54
  Speaker 7: deep state conspiracy. I'm just f * * * ing
• 25:56
  Speaker 7: with you. He released a bunch of documents that were
• 25:59
  Speaker 7: old news and didn't prove jack shit. And at one point,
• 26:02
  Speaker 7: he even started to glitch.
• 26:04
  Speaker 8: In light of the brand new and irrefutable information I
• 26:09
  Speaker 8: have revealed tonight, my administration is in the process of
• 26:12
  Speaker 8: notifying the state's.
• 26:17
  Speaker 7: It's what I'm always saying. You got to trust the pros-off.
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: Trust it.
• 26:23
  Speaker 7: Now, normally after Trump gives a speech, all his fans
• 26:25
  Speaker 7: at Fox News amplify his message and repeat his lies verbatim.
• 26:29
  Speaker 7: There's just one problem. Trump's talking about election fraud. Remember
• 26:34
  Speaker 7: how this went the last time?
• 26:36
  Speaker 10: Fox agreeing to pay Dominion more than $ 787 million over
• 26:42
  Speaker 10: the network's unsupported claims that the 2020 presidential election was rigged.
• 26:48
  Speaker 7: Fox does not want to pay another $ 787 million. They
• 26:52
  Speaker 7: need that money for settling sexual harassment lawsuits. Sean Hannity,
• 26:58
  Speaker 7: you're live after Trump's speech. Let's see you try to
• 27:01
  Speaker 7: cover this story without tripping over $ 787 million.
• 27:05
  Speaker 9: President Donald J. Trump, from the East Room at the
• 27:08
  Speaker 9: White House, he had a lot to say tonight.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Now, the president, if you go to.
• 27:11
  Speaker 9: WhiteHouse.gov, has and will, is now releasing what he believes
• 27:18
  Speaker 9: is all the corroboration that you would ever need. What
• 27:22
  Speaker 9: is pretty remarkable, what he says are in these documents.
• 27:26
  Speaker 9: I'm sure that anybody that cares about truth will want
• 27:30
  Speaker 9: to do a deep dive into all of this.
• 27:33
  Speaker 7: Um, uh, well, what he said was, um, so it
• 27:38
  Speaker 7: was a little.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 27:39
  Speaker 7: Let's move on to a bigger story. Why does Mamdani
• 27:42
  Speaker 7: want to convert Jimothy the raccoon to Islam? So now
• 27:48
  Speaker 7: MAGA Republicans are in a tough spot. If Trump's speech
• 27:51
  Speaker 7: didn't move the needle, they need to find another way
• 27:53
  Speaker 7: to rally support for it. They need to come with
• 27:56
  Speaker 7: irrefutable evidence that is necessary.
• 27:58
  Speaker 19: They need to take this seriously.
• 28:01
  Speaker 17: 24 states already require photo ID to be presented prior
• 28:06
  Speaker 17: to voting. Heck, you even need to present a photo
• 28:10
  Speaker 17: ID to utilize the Olive Garden's never-ending pasta pass.
• 28:18
  Speaker 7: Okay, or we could compare our election system to Olive Garden. Sure,
• 28:23
  Speaker 7: let's try that. And by the way, for those of
• 28:24
  Speaker 7: you who don't know, the Olive Garden never-ending pasta pass
• 28:28
  Speaker 7: is a real thing, and of course you have to
• 28:30
  Speaker 7: show a photo ID to use it. In fact, my
• 28:32
  Speaker 7: first fake ID was actually a never-ending pasta pass. I'll
• 28:38
  Speaker 7: never forget freshman year when I got marinara poisoning. Had
• 28:41
  Speaker 7: to get my stomach pumped. Before you ask, yes, I
• 28:45
  Speaker 7: check the box to be a pasta donor. That way,
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: God forbid, if something happens to me, a guy who
• 28:49
  Speaker 7: needs a new kidney gets my pasta. But yeah, Virginia
• 28:53
  Speaker 7: Foxx is saying Olive Garden has tighter security than the
• 28:56
  Speaker 7: voting booth. And that's such a ridiculous analogy that everyone
• 28:59
  Speaker 7: on the right is using it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 6: So you need an ID to get all you can
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: eat pasta at Olive Garden.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: You want to go vote?
• 29:07
  Speaker 9: For God's sake, you can't go get pasta at Olive
• 29:10
  Speaker 9: Garden without a picture ID.
• 29:11
  Speaker 7: So you need one for Olive Garden, but not for
• 29:14
  Speaker 7: a stake in our republic, right?
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: You have to show up with a photo ID to
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: prove it's actually you to eat their pasta. My goodness.
• 29:22
  Speaker 21: The fact that eating pasta requires an actual ID before
• 29:26
  Speaker 21: voting in this country is pretty ridiculous.
• 29:28
  Speaker 7: Shout out to Olive Garden. Shout out to Olive Garden.
• 29:34
  Speaker 7: You're not even talking about.
• 29:35
  Speaker 19: Election fraud anymore.
• 29:36
  Speaker 7: You're just ordering lunch. Here's the thing. Olive Garden and
• 29:40
  Speaker 7: elections are completely different things. Voting is a sacred right
• 29:44
  Speaker 7: that can't be restricted just because Donald Trump wants photo ID.
• 29:48
  Speaker 19: But Olive Garden needs.
• 29:50
  Speaker 7: A photo ID for their pasta pass because their mail-in
• 29:52
  Speaker 7: pasta was a total mess. Not falling for that again.
• 29:57
  Speaker 7: But beyond that, your analogy is taking over your argument.
• 30:01
  Speaker 7: You want people to be thinking about election fraud, not
• 30:03
  Speaker 7: the restaurant where your parents tell you that they're getting
• 30:06
  Speaker 7: a divorce. When you're here, you're family. But when we
• 30:10
  Speaker 7: get home, you have to choose. Please, please, just stop
• 30:21
  Speaker 7: making this about Olive Garden.
• 30:23
  Speaker 10: Maybe we just need to change the name of the
• 30:25
  Speaker 10: bill to the Olive Garden Law.
• 30:29
  Speaker 7: You know what?
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: F * * * it.
• 30:30
  Speaker 7: Fine. Let's pass the Olive Garden Law, followed by the
• 30:33
  Speaker 7: Red Lobster War on Greenland Act and the Chili's Baby
• 30:36
  Speaker 7: Back Abortion Ban. So that, that is the current state
• 30:41
  Speaker 7: of Trump's war on voting rights. In the span of
• 30:44
  Speaker 7: a week, he went from an urgent primetime address to
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: watching his base obsess over a Tuscan-themed casual dining chain.
• 30:51
  Speaker 7: It didn't work out for him this time, but the
• 30:53
  Speaker 7: next one might, because at the end of the day,
• 30:55
  Speaker 7: his lies are like spaghetti.
• 30:57
  Speaker 19: Throw it at the wall and hope it sticks.
• 31:00
  Speaker 7: And I think I speak.
• 31:07
  Speaker 7: And I think I speak for all of us when
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: I say, shout out to Olive Garden. You might remember
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: back in March when President Trump quickly launched his quick
• 31:15
  Speaker 7: war in Iran and conservative media told you how quick
• 31:18
  Speaker 7: it was quickly going to go.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: We've already knocked out so much of their capability.
• 31:23
  Speaker 7: It looks like this is just a wrap-up mission at
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: this point.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I don't see how this thing can continue much longer.
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: The war may be over right now.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I just left the president today.
• 31:32
  Speaker 7: It was a great interview.
• 31:33
  Speaker 13: I said to him, Mr.
• 31:34
  Speaker 7: President, you keep talking about the war like, was, was, was.
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: I said, is it over?
• 31:39
  Speaker 7: He said, it's over. She was so happy there, dressed
• 31:45
  Speaker 7: like a pimp on Martha's Vineyard. Kind of like if
• 31:49
  Speaker 7: Katharine Hepburn was in a music video for 3-6 Mafia. Anyway,
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: that was five months ago. So by now, the end
• 31:57
  Speaker 7: must surely be in sight. Tonight, no end in sight
• 32:01
  Speaker 7: in the war against Iran.
• 32:02
  Speaker 8: Mr.
• 32:02
  Speaker 7: President, there are no signs that Iran is ready to
• 32:05
  Speaker 7: stop fighting.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: So what is the plan?
• 32:07
  Speaker 7: Is the plan to just keep bombing until they give up?
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: There are no signs.
• 32:11
  Speaker 8: What, do you know something that I don't know?
• 32:12
  Speaker 7: Well, they continue to attack our allies.
• 32:15
  Speaker 8: You don't know anything. You know something that I don't know?
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Do you know something I don't know?
• 32:21
  Speaker 7: My God, this guy's cranky. Get him to a cabinet
• 32:24
  Speaker 7: meeting so he can take a nap. But yes, it's
• 32:27
  Speaker 7: a little awkward for Trump's media boosters that the war
• 32:31
  Speaker 7: is still going on, and it's especially awkward for Greg Kelly,
• 32:34
  Speaker 7: Newsmax anchor and guy who's definitely been kicked out of
• 32:37
  Speaker 7: an airport Chili's. He's gone all in for Trump, and
• 32:41
  Speaker 7: he really put his reputation on the line.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: I guess this is not a bold prediction on my
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: part because the president just said it, but I predict
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: also this time next week we may be able to
• 32:52
  Speaker 6: declare victory.
• 32:54
  Speaker 7: I tell you what, I tell you what, though, it's
• 32:56
  Speaker 7: still better than his other prediction. Diarrhea-free summer. That did
• 33:01
  Speaker 7: not go well. But yeah, one weekend, Greg predicted that
• 33:04
  Speaker 7: the war would be over soon. And did he flinch
• 33:07
  Speaker 7: a week later when the war was still going? No,
• 33:09
  Speaker 7: he did not.
• 33:10
  Speaker 15: The war in Iran, which is only 17 days old,
• 33:15
  Speaker 15: and from what I'm hearing, this thing is going to
• 33:17
  Speaker 15: be over probably before the 28th day.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: This is contained.
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: There you go, 17 days and over before day 28.
• 33:27
  Speaker 7: Is it over or is it just beginning? Maybe a
• 33:30
  Speaker 7: little bit of both. We are right now.
• 33:33
  Speaker 6: At 30 days.
• 33:36
  Speaker 7: Gotcha, gotcha. We are now at 30 days and the
• 33:39
  Speaker 7: war is over and also just beginning. And before you say, wait,
• 33:43
  Speaker 7: those are opposites, may I remind you that every new
• 33:46
  Speaker 7: beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Closing time. But
• 33:51
  Speaker 7: the point is, chill out, guys. Don't make Greg get sarcastic.
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: Wow, this Iran war has been going on for years, months. No.
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: 52 days.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: 52 days!
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Relax.
• 34:05
  Speaker 6: And quite frankly, we're not even shooting anymore. 73 days.
• 34:10
  Speaker 6: And the coverage is relentlessly negative. Well, by one count,
• 34:15
  Speaker 6: you could say 81 days. However, a more accurate count
• 34:19
  Speaker 6: would say 41 days when you factor in the ceasefire.
• 34:23
  Speaker 19: 81 days!
• 34:25
  Speaker 7: That's nothing! Especially if you call it 41 days! I mean,
• 34:30
  Speaker 7: do you want him to keep going, people? Because he'll
• 34:32
  Speaker 7: keep going. If you add it all up, four months.
• 34:37
  Speaker 13: Oh, sure.
• 34:37
  Speaker 7: If you add up the days, it seems like a
• 34:39
  Speaker 7: lot of days.
• 34:40
  Speaker 8: What?
• 34:40
  Speaker 7: You don't want to add on the 21 days since
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: the first four months, too?
• 34:44
  Speaker 6: Four months and 21 days. How's that for a forever war?
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: Well, it's a start. So basically, Donald Trump is locked
• 34:55
  Speaker 7: in a forever war, has no plan to get out,
• 34:57
  Speaker 7: and has hardly any defenders besides Kirkland's signature Sean Hannity.
• 35:01
  Speaker 19: Is there anything that's going right for him?
• 35:04
  Speaker 7: And I mean anything.
• 35:06
  Speaker 8: The numbers came out yesterday.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: You know who's number one on Tic Tac?
• 35:09
  Speaker 18: I am.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, excuse me.
• 35:21
  Speaker 7: Ooh, number one on TikTok. Not to mention, also very
• 35:25
  Speaker 7: popular on FaceBark and Instagore. Let's see the master at work.
• 35:31
  Speaker 8: As I stand by the Declaration of Independence, which is
• 35:34
  Speaker 8: a great honor, I keep hearing so much about TikTok
• 35:37
  Speaker 8: and all of the influence they have.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I'm number one on TikTok. Can you believe it? I'm
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: number one. Look at those numbers.
• 35:42
  Speaker 8: There's your number, so I think we have influence, too.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: And I'm saying, stop communism.
• 35:50
  Speaker 19: What?
• 35:51
  Speaker 7: Stop communism? Where did that come from? That TikTok was
• 35:55
  Speaker 7: directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Look, I know it doesn't
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: seem like that would be very popular on TikTok, but
• 36:02
  Speaker 7: don't forget they love messy bitches. And it's not just Trump.
• 36:05
  Speaker 7: His whole cabinet is getting on TikTok. They just dropped
• 36:08
  Speaker 7: a new video promoting it.
• 36:15
  Speaker 18: In the end, this team is stronger, smarter, and savvier
• 36:19
  Speaker 18: in the game of leverage and negotiations.
• 36:21
  Speaker 7: And it's always about America first for Trump. Is this
• 36:29
  Speaker 7: a TikTok or a hype video for a 50-year high
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: school reunion? Oh shit, Doug's coming? I thought that guy
• 36:36
  Speaker 7: was dead. But I don't want to prejudge. Let's check
• 36:40
  Speaker 7: out some of these TikToks. RFK Jr., you never do
• 36:42
  Speaker 7: anything weird. Let's see what you got. What the f
• 36:54
  Speaker 7: * * *?
• 36:55
  Speaker 21: Looks like a Terminator who went back in time to
• 37:05
  Speaker 21: stop Sarah Connor from getting vaccinated.
• 37:09
  Speaker 19: Why does he have those laser eyes? Is that how
• 37:11
  Speaker 19: he hunts roadkill?
• 37:13
  Speaker 7: Oh my God, somebody hide Jimothy. I'm glad you guys
• 37:20
  Speaker 7: are having so much fun making TikToks, but remind me,
• 37:23
  Speaker 7: how's your actual job going?
• 37:25
  Speaker 18: U.S.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Measles cases just hit a 35-year record high, and more
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: people are being sickened by that parasitic infection that triggered
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: a major lettuce recall.
• 37:34
  Speaker 20: The CDC has now confirmed more than 4,100 cases of cyclosporiasis,
• 37:39
  Speaker 20: making 2026 the worst year for the parasitic infection on record.
• 37:44
  Speaker 19: Huh, huh, cool, cool.
• 37:46
  Speaker 7: You've got laser eyes and the rest of us have
• 37:48
  Speaker 7: measles and poop lettuce. Thanks for giving us content to
• 37:52
  Speaker 7: watch while we're sitting on the toilet shitting our guts
• 37:54
  Speaker 7: out from a parasite that you're not doing anything to stop. Listen,
• 37:58
  Speaker 7: we are going through real problems, and you guys are
• 38:00
  Speaker 7: making TikToks? You are so cavalier about all of this.
• 38:05
  Speaker 7: All you care about is your image and your power.
• 38:08
  Speaker 7: But guess what? These are American issues, and it's only
• 38:11
  Speaker 7: a matter of time before these American issues affect you too. Actually,
• 38:16
  Speaker 7: can you play that video again and just turn up
• 38:19
  Speaker 7: the audio? And that is the trenchant satire you've come
• 38:38
  Speaker 7: to expect from 30 years of The Daily Show. President
• 38:43
  Speaker 7: Trump was down in Georgia yesterday where he campaigned for
• 38:46
  Speaker 7: Republican Mike Collins. And the GOP desperately needs Trump to
• 38:50
  Speaker 7: give Collins a boost. if they have any chance of
• 38:53
  Speaker 7: keeping the Senate. So, of course, Trump talked about himself.
• 38:56
  Speaker 16: When I inherited this thing on January 20th, I walk
• 39:02
  Speaker 16: into office, I have a press conference first or second day,
• 39:05
  Speaker 16: and they're.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Screaming at me, what are you going to do about
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: high prices?
• 39:09
  Speaker 18: Right?
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: What are you going to do? I said, I just
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: got here. What are we talking about? Tell me. Eggs,
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: eggs have gone up four times. Four times.
• 39:17
  Speaker 16: I said, I just got here.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Give me a break.
• 39:21
  Speaker 7: Give me a break. I didn't expect to jump into
• 39:23
  Speaker 7: work right away. I just ran to stay out of prison.
• 39:28
  Speaker 7: What do you mean you just got here? You already
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: had the job for four years. You probably still had
• 39:33
  Speaker 7: old pens in the desk. The guy's acting like he
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: was expecting an onboarding. This is Joe B. You're going
• 39:39
  Speaker 7: to spend the day shadowing him. I do get it.
• 39:43
  Speaker 7: He just wanted to spend his first day settling in,
• 39:46
  Speaker 7: putting his stuff down, pardoning January Sixers. But the Democrats
• 39:51
  Speaker 7: were just throwing all these new words at him.
• 39:54
  Speaker 16: And they said they used the word first time I
• 39:56
  Speaker 16: heard it. It was a word, you know, made up
• 39:58
  Speaker 16: by the Democrats.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: Affordability.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: They said affordability.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: Affordability.
• 40:04
  Speaker 7: Affordability! Why is the word you're best at saying the
• 40:08
  Speaker 7: one you're worst at doing? And by the way, Democrats
• 40:11
  Speaker 7: didn't invent the word affordability. Costco did. Costco, if you're
• 40:19
  Speaker 7: going to buy a container of mustard, shouldn't you be
• 40:22
  Speaker 7: able to bathe in it? By the way, after 10
• 40:28
  Speaker 7: years of Trump rallies, you can kind of tell that
• 40:31
  Speaker 7: he's not moving crowds like he used to. The people
• 40:33
  Speaker 7: there were yawning. They were bored, not even looking at him.
• 40:38
  Speaker 7: This one kid was just on his phone half the time. Hey, kids,
• 40:43
  Speaker 7: stop playing Roblox. The president is talking about affordability. Come on, Donald.
• 40:48
  Speaker 7: You got to win this crowd back. You were so
• 40:50
  Speaker 7: great at nicknames. Why don't you just announce a new
• 40:53
  Speaker 7: cool policy with a snappy nickname like old times?
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: We'll pass the Great Health Care Plan. It's called our
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: Great Health Care Plan.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: That's the name of it. Wow.
• 41:05
  Speaker 7: Thanks for putting in all that thought. Such a lazy name.
• 41:09
  Speaker 7: That's like making a daily show and calling it The
• 41:12
  Speaker 7: Daily Show. But look, the president wasn't just there to
• 41:16
  Speaker 7: lie about health care. He was there to warn us
• 41:18
  Speaker 7: about a terrible danger.
• 41:20
  Speaker 8: The radical left is actively trying to destroy our children's
• 41:24
  Speaker 8: future with the disaster known as communism.
• 41:28
  Speaker 7: Oh no, quick, hide the means of production. Don't tell
• 41:34
  Speaker 7: me it's communism.
• 41:35
  Speaker 8: Communism is the single greatest threat to our country and
• 41:39
  Speaker 8: its history, including even World War I and World War II,
• 41:43
  Speaker 8: Pearl Harbor, 9-11. I think it's the greatest threat that
• 41:46
  Speaker 8: I've ever.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Seen to our country.
• 41:49
  Speaker 7: That's right. That's right. Communism is the greatest threat to
• 41:52
  Speaker 7: our country, even more than the looming threat of World
• 41:55
  Speaker 7: War I. That is what the president believes, although I
• 41:59
  Speaker 7: think someone else might disagree with him.
• 42:02
  Speaker 8: The threat that we have, the biggest threat, is nuclear war.
• 42:06
  Speaker 8: I think that the border is the biggest threat to
• 42:09
  Speaker 8: this country. Our biggest threat remains the sick, sinister, and
• 42:13
  Speaker 8: evil people from within our country. The weaponization of law
• 42:17
  Speaker 8: enforcement is the greatest threat.
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: Our biggest threat to democracy is stupid people.
• 42:22
  Speaker 7: Might actually be right with that last one, but let's
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: move on from Donald Trump to his son Don Jr.,
• 42:36
  Speaker 7: a New York 5, but a solid Trump 8. Because
• 42:40
  Speaker 7: while the rest of us are suffering, he wants us
• 42:42
  Speaker 7: to know he's doing great.
• 42:44
  Speaker 20: CNN investigation has found that an investment firm where Donald
• 42:48
  Speaker 20: Trump Jr. is a partner has skyrocketed during his father's presidency.
• 42:53
  Speaker 13: Trump Jr.
• 42:53
  Speaker 18: Announced he joined that firm 1789 Capital days after his
• 42:57
  Speaker 18: father's reelection in 2024. Since that time, assets the firm
• 43:01
  Speaker 18: manages have more than tripled.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: What?
• 43:06
  Speaker 19: So lucky.
• 43:07
  Speaker 7: How did he manage to triple his firm's assets in
• 43:09
  Speaker 7: the two years his dad's been in office? He must
• 43:12
  Speaker 7: be so good at business and only that.
• 43:14
  Speaker 18: Businesses the firm invested in have been awarded more than $ 1. 6
• 43:19
  Speaker 18: billion from federal contracts and grants.
• 43:23
  Speaker 7: Unbelievable. What a flagrant abuse of power and access.
• 43:28
  Speaker 19: This just screams corruption and greed.
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: His dad must be so proud.
• 43:33
  Speaker 19: This looks so bad.
• 43:37
  Speaker 7: And Dom Jr. isn't rushing to set the record straight,
• 43:40
  Speaker 7: but there is something else he'd like to clear up.
• 43:43
  Speaker 13: You know, according to the Twitter, I'm the biggest cocaine
• 43:45
  Speaker 13: in the world. You know, shockingly, there's never been a
• 43:48
  Speaker 13: photo or video or anyone with any credibility actually saying
• 43:52
  Speaker 13: that they've seen me do this. So I don't. If
• 43:55
  Speaker 13: I look tired this week, it's actually because I had
• 43:56
  Speaker 13: foot surgery a couple of days ago.
• 44:02
  Speaker 7: But the rumor that you do cocaine is the coolest
• 44:05
  Speaker 7: thing about you. You wanna keep that going or we're
• 44:08
  Speaker 7: gonna have to start talking about what you look like
• 44:10
  Speaker 7: without a beard.