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Andy Stanley - Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Part 6_ The Relationship Question · Andy Stanley Sermons

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Speaker 1: So today we're wrapping up our series Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets,
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Speaker 1: And the big idea in this series is the often
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Speaker 1: overlooked relationship between good questions and good decisions. Good questions
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Speaker 1: actually set us up to make good decisions. And I'm
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Speaker 1: convinced that if you've been following along in this series,
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Speaker 1: that you're convinced as well that if you will ask,
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Speaker 1: answer honestly, and act on your answer to the five
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Speaker 1: questions we're talking about in this series, you will make
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Speaker 1: better decisions and consequently you will live with fewer regrets.
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Speaker 1: Your life will be better, and the people who look
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Speaker 1: to you and depend on you their lives will be
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Speaker 1: better as well, because we aren't the only people impacted
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Speaker 1: by our decisions, right, and we're not the only people
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Speaker 1: impacted by our regrets either. Quick review, The first question
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Speaker 1: we explored was the integrity question. The integrity question, Am
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Speaker 1: I being honest with myself? Am I being honest with myself? Really,
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Speaker 1: you will never get to be where you want to
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Speaker 1: be until you are honest about where you currently are.
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Speaker 1: The most difficult person to lie is always the person
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Speaker 1: in the mirror. So whenever you're making a decision of
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Speaker 1: any consequence. Before you commit to an option, ask yourself,
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Speaker 1: Am I being honest with myself? Am I being honest
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Speaker 1: with myself about why I'm doing this? Choosing this, purchasing this,
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Speaker 1: calling him, calling her back. Second question was the legacy question.
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Speaker 1: The legacy question is what story do I want to tell?
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Speaker 1: When the decision that you're in the process of making
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Speaker 1: right now, relational, financial, academic, professional, When the decision you're
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Speaker 1: in the process of making right now, when it's nothing
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Speaker 1: more than a story you tell, what story do you
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Speaker 1: want to tell? Make it a story you're proud to tell.
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Speaker 1: In fact, better than that, Be the hero in your
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Speaker 1: own story, not the villain. Be the person who exercised
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Speaker 1: self control, not the person who lost control. Use your superpower.
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Speaker 1: We've talked about that, your respond ability. That's your superpower.
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Speaker 1: And you decide your story one decision at a time,
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Speaker 1: because as far as it's up to you, you write
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Speaker 1: story of your life, one decision at a time. I
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Speaker 1: want you to write or decide a great story. Our
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Speaker 1: third question was the conscience question. Is there attention that
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Speaker 1: deserves my attention? Is there attention that deserves my attention?
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Speaker 1: You're considering an option, and you're thinking about doing something specific.
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Speaker 1: You're about to pull the trigger on the decision, and
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Speaker 1: everybody's nodding. You know, everything looks good on paper, but
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Speaker 1: there's just something about it that doesn't seem right, something
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Speaker 1: that you can't put your finger on. When that happens,
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Speaker 1: pause and pay attention to that tension. Now, last time
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Speaker 1: we were together, we explored the fourth question, the maturity question,
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Speaker 1: And the maturity question is what is the wise thing
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Speaker 1: to do? In light of your past experience and light
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Speaker 1: of your current circumstances, in light of your future hopes
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Speaker 1: and dreams, what is the wise thing for you to do?
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Speaker 1: An option may be legal, or acceptable or permissible, not
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Speaker 1: exactly immoral, but is it wise? Remember this, a decision,
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Speaker 1: a decision, can be not wrong and not wise at
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Speaker 1: the same time. Unwise decisions. Remember this, Unwise decisions are
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Speaker 1: gateway decisions. They lead to regret. In fact, your greatest regret,
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Speaker 1: your greatest regret, was preceded by a series of unwise decisions.
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Speaker 1: How do I know that? Because it's true for all
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Speaker 1: of us. The decisions that preceded your greatest regret. They
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Speaker 1: weren't wrong, they weren't illegal, but looking back, they were
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Speaker 1: terribly terribly unwise, So decide wise. And that brings us
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Speaker 1: to our last question. Our fifth question is actually the
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Speaker 1: relationship question. Now again, if you've been a part of
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Speaker 1: this series, you know by now that most of these questions,
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Speaker 1: most of these questions are a bit terrifying because they
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Speaker 1: are in fact so clarifying. And by clarifying, I am
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Speaker 1: referring to the fact that, in most instances, you know
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Speaker 1: the answer to the question even before you finish asking
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Speaker 1: the question, right, and once we know, we can't unknow,
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Speaker 1: and once we know the answer to these questions, we
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Speaker 1: feel accountable. We feel accountable to ourselves, which is good,
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Speaker 1: and honestly, it's a bit terrifying. It actually reminds me
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Speaker 1: of a question my mentor, Reggie Campbell, used to ask me.
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Speaker 1: He used to say this, He say, Andy, Andy, what
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Speaker 1: do you hope I don't ask you about? Now? That's
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Speaker 1: a terrifying question, right, Andy, what do you hope I
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Speaker 1: don't ask you about? So I would dodge this question
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Speaker 1: and I would say this, Well, you can't ask that question, Reggie.
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Speaker 1: You got to dig around a little bit. That's cheating.
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Speaker 1: You got to discover that for yourself. And he would laugh,
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Speaker 1: and then he would repeat the question, Andy, what do
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Speaker 1: you hope I don't ask you about? So our fifth
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Speaker 1: and our final question is perhaps the most clarifying question
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Speaker 1: of all, but honestly, in some ways it's the most
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Speaker 1: terrifying question of all. It's clarifying and clarity, come on.
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Speaker 1: Clarity is often the thing we need to push us
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Speaker 1: past our resistance to making a good decision, and I
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Speaker 1: promise you there will be resistance with this one. In fact,
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Speaker 1: this may be the question you will be most tempted
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Speaker 1: not to answer, honestly, because it will require the most
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Speaker 1: of you. So once again the disclaimer. You don't have
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Speaker 1: to act on your answer, but you owe it to
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Speaker 1: yourself to know the answer to this question because what
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Speaker 1: you won't know, what you refuse to know, can hurt you.
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Speaker 1: And in this case, what you refuse to know or
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Speaker 1: acknowledge or admit is going to hurt the people closest
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Speaker 1: to you as well. Again, this is the relationship question.
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Speaker 1: And as I mentioned last time, when you envision your future,
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Speaker 1: and it's true, when you envision your future, you never
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Speaker 1: envision yourself alone. There's always somebody beside you. This is
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Speaker 1: true of all of us, and perhaps that somebody is
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Speaker 1: already besides you. Our final question, this fifth question, will
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Speaker 1: help you keep them there. Perhaps you're looking for that
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Speaker 1: someone getting in the habit of asking this question. Now,
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Speaker 1: if you do that, you will become the person that
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Speaker 1: the person you're looking for is looking for, because you
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Speaker 1: know who you're looking for. You're looking for someone amazing, right,
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Speaker 1: so are they? Asking and acting on this fifth question
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Speaker 1: will increase your amazing quotion. I guarantee you, But the
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Speaker 1: benefit of asking this question, this relationship question that actually
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Speaker 1: extends beyond that special somebody. This question, when asked and
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Speaker 1: answered honestly and then acted on, it has the potential
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Speaker 1: to enhance the quality of every single relationship you're in.
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Speaker 1: It has the power to restore broken relationships, heal relationships.
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Speaker 1: It has the power, honestly to rekindle romance, to restore
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Speaker 1: what was lost. But before the big reveal, another disclaimer.
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Speaker 1: Unlike the other four questions in this series, this one
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Speaker 1: does not come with a guaranteed ROI return on investment.
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Speaker 1: The other four do, but not this one. Here's what
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Speaker 1: I mean. You will always come out ahead by being
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Speaker 1: honest with yourself. Really, you'll always have something to show
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Speaker 1: for writing a story you're proud to tell. There will
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Speaker 1: be a measurable return for paying attention to the tension
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Speaker 1: and doing the wise thing you ask those other four questions,
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Speaker 1: you are going to benefit. Our first four questions always
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Speaker 1: yield a favorable return, sometimes immediately, but always eventually. But
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Speaker 1: our fifth and final question is different. There may be
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Speaker 1: no tangible, measurable, or even noticeable return on your effort
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Speaker 1: and asking this question. While the first four questions are
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Speaker 1: demanding in the moment, our final question is demanding throughout
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Speaker 1: every waking moment. And the reason being, our final question
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Speaker 1: isn't about making your life better. It's about making someone
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Speaker 1: else's life better, which may make your life better, but
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Speaker 1: honestly it may not. However, this fifth and final question,
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Speaker 1: should you have the courage to ask it and act
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Speaker 1: on it, positioned you to make the world better. So
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Speaker 1: here we go throughout jesus ministry. When you follow Jesus
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Speaker 1: through the gospels. Throughout his ministry, he was constantly hinting
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Speaker 1: at the fact that something new was on the horizon,
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Speaker 1: something designed to actually replace much of what was in
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Speaker 1: place in first century Judaism. And while many people were
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Speaker 1: hoping for political reform, Jesus had something entirely different in mind,
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Speaker 1: something much bigger than political reform, something far more inclusive.
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Speaker 1: His hints, his parables, his foreshadowing, they were all designed
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Speaker 1: to create a sense of expectation and the minds and
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Speaker 1: the hearts of his followers. So when he entered Jerusalem
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Speaker 1: for his final visit you know this story, crowds lined
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Speaker 1: the streets to welcome him. They knew something was up,
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Speaker 1: but their expectations were political, regal, messianic. He had their attention,
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Speaker 1: but they did not understand his intention. In fact, even
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Speaker 1: his twelve apostles were confused about his ultimate aim. Right
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Speaker 1: up to the very end. Right up to the very end,
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Speaker 1: they are jockeying for positions of power and the soon
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Speaker 1: to be re established independent Kingdom of Israel. So on
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Speaker 1: the night of his arrest, he gathers them to gather
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Speaker 1: for what would be their final passover meal, and he
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Speaker 1: finally reveals his intentions. He makes He makes his intentions clear.
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Speaker 1: To begin with, He announced that he was leaving, and
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Speaker 1: that was a problem. As we've talked about before, Jesus
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Speaker 1: was their security blanket. Wherever Jesus went, crowds gathered and
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Speaker 1: the crowds kept jesus enemies from getting close. So if
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Speaker 1: Jesus leaves, if Jesus goes missing, odds are the Apostles
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Speaker 1: are probably going to go missing as well, and not
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Speaker 1: in a good way. Besides, why would Jesus leave now?
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Speaker 1: They were on the precipice of a revolution, I mean,
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Speaker 1: the kingdom was about to be restored. So on this
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Speaker 1: final night together he spells it out for them in
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Speaker 1: terms that well, in terms that have become so familiar
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Speaker 1: to many of us. I'm afraid that they leave little
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Speaker 1: to know or make little to know impact. Now, we
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Speaker 1: don't doubt they're true. We don't doubt what Jesus says
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Speaker 1: is true. After all, Jesus spoke these words. But they
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Speaker 1: these words don't rock us back on our heels. They
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Speaker 1: don't send us rushing home or back to work, or
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Speaker 1: back to the neighborhood with an apology on our lips.
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Speaker 1: These words, this command from the lips of our lord.
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Speaker 1: Think about that. They just don't stand guard over our
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Speaker 1: words like they should. They don't stand guard over our response,
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Speaker 1: as our actions, or our attitudes the way they were
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Speaker 1: intended to. In fact, when I read Jesus' words, to
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Speaker 1: you in just a moment. You may be tempted to
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Speaker 1: respond with, Oh, I've heard that before, Oh that again,
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Speaker 1: Which is unfortunate, because these words spoken by Jesus to
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Speaker 1: his closest friends, men who would earn their reputation for
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Speaker 1: turning the word upside down. These words explain the event
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Speaker 1: that we cling to when we sin, when we fall short.
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Speaker 1: Isn't this true when you wonder where you stand with God?
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Speaker 1: When you wonder where you stand with God in those
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Speaker 1: moments as a Christian, what do you lean into? You
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Speaker 1: lean into the event of Christ's death on the cross
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Speaker 1: as the payment for your sin. Right. Jesus died for me,
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Speaker 1: so I have a right standing with God. But his death,
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Speaker 1: his death on the afternoon after he spoke these words,
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Speaker 1: was actually an illustration of these words and a reminder
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Speaker 1: of how central these words are to our experience. It's
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Speaker 1: Jesus followers they represent, in a way, the epicenter of
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Speaker 1: the Christian faith. These these words are really what the
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Speaker 1: Kingdom of God looks like on earth. Paul, who was
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Speaker 1: unclearly rocked back on his heels by these words and
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Speaker 1: actually never recovered when he wrote his letter to Christians
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Speaker 1: living in the Roman province of Galatia. He said, he said,
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Speaker 1: the only thing, the only thing that matters, is these words.
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Speaker 1: And then at first Corinthians, he declares that if we
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Speaker 1: don't get this one thing right, it doesn't even matter
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Speaker 1: what else we get right. He understood what we miss
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Speaker 1: and here's the thing, and I understand this. We want
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Speaker 1: we want deeper, And Paul would respond to that, we
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Speaker 1: want deeper. Requests like this, you want deeper, You want deeper.
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Speaker 1: You want deeper because you've never witnessed a man being
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Speaker 1: flogged to the point to where he wants to die
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Speaker 1: but can't. Because the soldier inflicting the pain knows exactly
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Speaker 1: when to stop. Not out of mercy, but because the
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Speaker 1: goal was to inflict as much pain as possible. Death
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Speaker 1: would be merciful, but out of a desire to cause
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Speaker 1: as much suffering as possible. They would stop when we
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Speaker 1: think there's got to be more. It's because we've never
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Speaker 1: whitness a crucifixion. We've never seen someone choose days ahead
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Speaker 1: of time to lay down their life for an enemy.
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Speaker 1: There is nothing deeper, There is nothing more profound, there
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Speaker 1: is nothing more contrary to fallen human nature. There is
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Speaker 1: well there's nothing with more potential to change everything than
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Speaker 1: jesus instructions to his followers the night of his arrest.
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Speaker 1: His words represent a paradigm shift of there's no exaggeration
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Speaker 1: to say of epic proportion. They would again, they would
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Speaker 1: turn the world upside down because they established a kingdom
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Speaker 1: that looked upside down to the world. And what began
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Speaker 1: as a harmless threat to the Empire, a harmless threat
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Speaker 1: to the Temple, a Nazarene sact occult would eventually engulf
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Speaker 1: the Empire, and his words to his disciples during that
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Speaker 1: last passover meal. They serve as the context. They serve
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Speaker 1: as the fuel the match for our fifth and final question.
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Speaker 1: Here's what he said, and I wish, for a moment
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Speaker 1: you could hear them as if you're hearing them for
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Speaker 1: the very first time. Allow these words to set you
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Speaker 1: back on your heels, to leave you scrambling for your
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Speaker 1: slice of the conflict pie in your relationships. I hope
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Speaker 1: they will compel you to forgive, to be kind, to
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Speaker 1: loan your strength, to tame your tongue, to adjust your pace,
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Speaker 1: to open your wallet, to reshuffle your values. Here's what
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Speaker 1: he said, A new command, a new command I give you,
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Speaker 1: And of course they didn't need any new commands. They
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Speaker 1: had had plenty. Besides, earlier, Jesus had just reduced the
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Speaker 1: entire list to two. Love God and love your neighbor.
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Speaker 1: Those are the two we know, right, So why do
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Speaker 1: we need a third? And besides that, why was he
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Speaker 1: talking about commands they needed to make plans? I mean?
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Speaker 1: And what gave Jesus the right to add any new commands?
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Speaker 1: And only God could? Only God had the authority to
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Speaker 1: add commands? Exactly right. As it turned out, Jesus wasn't
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Speaker 1: adding a command to an existing list of commands. He
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Speaker 1: was doing something far more radical. He was replacing the
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Speaker 1: existing commandments, all of them. And one reason, one reason
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Speaker 1: that this new command doesn't have its desired effect on
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Speaker 1: many of us, is because we were raised to believe
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Speaker 1: that his new command was simply another command, another command
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Speaker 1: to be added to the Big ten or the Big
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Speaker 1: six hundred plus. But it wasn't. Jesus had come to
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Speaker 1: replace much of what was in place a new command,
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Speaker 1: I give you love one another, which wasn't really actually new.
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Speaker 1: But then, as we've said before, Jesus wasn't actually through.
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Speaker 1: He wasn't commanding them. And he wasn't commanding me, and
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Speaker 1: he wasn't commanding you to feel something. He was commanding
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Speaker 1: us to do something. And what came next, well, what
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Speaker 1: came next was unthinkable. But what came next changed the world.
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Speaker 1: What came next trump the Golden Rule. What came next
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Speaker 1: trump love God, and love your neighbor as I have
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Speaker 1: loved you, So you must love one another. This was
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Speaker 1: so disturbing. In this moment, Jesus establishes himself as the
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Speaker 1: standard for love, the standard against which we are to
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Speaker 1: measure and evaluate our behavior. If we're Jesus followers. You've
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Speaker 1: heard it said, believing is all that matters. If you
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Speaker 1: were raised in certain kinds of church, It's all about believing,
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Speaker 1: Jesus would say to you, if you're going to participate
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Speaker 1: in my kingdom, loving as I have loved is what
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Speaker 1: matters most. Doing for others what one hoped others would
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Speaker 1: do for them in return. That was so last century,
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Speaker 1: that was so old Covenant. Jesus tells his followers on
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Speaker 1: the night of his arrest, to do unto others as
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Speaker 1: he had done unto them. Now, this was extraordinarily, extraordinarily
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Speaker 1: personal for the guys seated around the table, right. I
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Speaker 1: mean when we read as I have loved you, you
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Speaker 1: know you're to love one another, we think of the cross.
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Speaker 1: They didn't they fought back over the previous three years.
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Speaker 1: I mean, Jesus could have gone around the table and
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Speaker 1: call them all out, one by one. Matthew, Matthew, you
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Speaker 1: remember what you were up to when we met, Yes, Sir,
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Speaker 1: I was working for Rome from home. I was well.
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Speaker 1: I was pretty much a government sanctioned thief with bodyguards.
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Speaker 1: I remember, because good people, well, they kept their distance
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Speaker 1: from me. And Jesus said, Matthew, do you remember what
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Speaker 1: I said to you that afternoon when we met. Yes, Sir,
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Speaker 1: you invited me to follow you, and no one had
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Speaker 1: ever done that before. In fact, when people thought when
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Speaker 1: people thought I was following them, they just rushed home. Exactly, Matthew.
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Speaker 1: Extend that same grace to every single person you meet
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Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. As I have loved you, Matthew,
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Speaker 1: That's how I want you to love. And he could
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Speaker 1: have worked his way around the table one by one. Love,
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Speaker 1: as I have loved you, extend the same grace, the
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Speaker 1: same forgiveness that I have extended to you so real quick?
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Speaker 1: How about you? What? Let's put you in Matthew's seat
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Speaker 1: for just a minute. What were you up to? What
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Speaker 1: were you up to when you first understood and accepted
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Speaker 1: the call to follow Jesus? Think about that sea of
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Speaker 1: your life, and to think he loved loves you anyway.
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Speaker 1: He hears your prayers, He forgives you over and over
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Speaker 1: for the same dumb stuff. Right me too, I mean,
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Speaker 1: in my case, I have no excuse. I mean, I
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Speaker 1: have no excuse not to extend grace, forgiveness and mercy,
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Speaker 1: second and third chances to everybody I meet, because I've
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Speaker 1: been commanded to love as I have been love, and
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Speaker 1: I have been given second and third chances by my savior.
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Speaker 1: And is as Jesus looked around the table that night,
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Speaker 1: he could have added in, gentleman, if you think you've
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Speaker 1: seen me love, you haven't seen anything yet. Because tomorrow,
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Speaker 1: covered in my own blood, I'll put on a demonstration
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Speaker 1: of love that will take your breath away. But more important,
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Speaker 1: it's gonna take your sin away, and it's gonna take
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Speaker 1: your excuses away not to love. I have loved Tomorrow.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to give my life away for you and
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Speaker 1: for my enemies. And then he continues, and this is
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Speaker 1: the part. If we ever got this right, if I
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Speaker 1: ever got this right, it would change maybe it would
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Speaker 1: change everything. He said, gentlemen, by this, by this, everyone
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Speaker 1: will know that you are my disciples if you love
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Speaker 1: one another. Now, the term this is a demonstrative pronoun,
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Speaker 1: remember those. A demonstrative pronoun is used to point to
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Speaker 1: something very specific, and in this particular case, it's a
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Speaker 1: singular demonstrative pronoun. Jesus is pointing to one specific thing
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Speaker 1: that was to be the identifying characteristic of his followers, namely,
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Speaker 1: the way we love. This new command, this new command
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Speaker 1: brand of love, was to serve as the unifying and
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Speaker 1: the defining characteristic for his new movement, the Church. His
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Speaker 1: new command was to serve as the governing ethic against
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Speaker 1: well against which all of our behavior should be measured.
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Speaker 1: And this stood in stark contrast to the current first
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Speaker 1: century way of thinking. Unfortunately, it stands in stark contrast
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Speaker 1: to the way that many of us were raised to
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Speaker 1: think in the church today. This litmus test, this would
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Speaker 1: be the litmus test for being a Jesus follower. And again,
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Speaker 1: the new litmus test was not some sort of ritualistic
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Speaker 1: day of the week, festival driven don't forget your goat,
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Speaker 1: don't forget to say your prayers, worship of an invisible
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Speaker 1: and somewhat distant God. Following Jesus would not be looking
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Speaker 1: for ways to somehow get closer to God, who dwelled
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Speaker 1: out there somewhere. Jesus followers, according to what Jesus said
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Speaker 1: that night, Jesus followers would demonstrate their devotion to God
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Speaker 1: by putting the person next to them in front of them,
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Speaker 1: as he would do the following afternoon. Authentic Jesus followers
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Speaker 1: would not authenticate their love for God by looking up.
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Speaker 1: They would authenticate their devotion to God by looking around,
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Speaker 1: by loving the people around them. And then this was
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Speaker 1: so unprecedented. In an unprecedented move for a religious figure, especially,
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Speaker 1: Jesus didn't leverage his position, or even his equality with
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Speaker 1: God or his messianic authority to stir his followers to action.
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Speaker 1: He didn't say, hey, and guys, you better do this,
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Speaker 1: because well, do you know who I am? He didn't
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Speaker 1: anchor his new command his divine right as king. Paul
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Speaker 1: said it best that Jesus did not regard equality with
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Speaker 1: God as something to be leveraged for his own benefit instead.
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Speaker 1: Do you know what he used to inspire his followers
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Speaker 1: to action? Do you know what he used to inspire
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Speaker 1: you and me to action? He leveraged his sacrificial love.
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Speaker 1: Why should his disciples obey this command to love? Because
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Speaker 1: he loved them first, He went first. They were to
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Speaker 1: do unto others as Jesus had already done and was
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Speaker 1: about to do unto them. A new command. I give
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Speaker 1: you love one another as I have loved you, So
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Speaker 1: you must love one another. Jesus knew all encompassing command
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Speaker 1: was well. It was far less complicated than the prevailing system,
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Speaker 1: but it was far more demanding. There are no loopholes,
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Speaker 1: no workarounds in this brand of love. It's why we
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Speaker 1: avoid it. It's why we are tempted to take the
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Speaker 1: new command and simply add it to a list of commands,
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Speaker 1: perhaps hoping it will get lost in the mix. And
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Speaker 1: that brings us at last to our fifth and our
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Speaker 1: final question, the relationship question, the question honestly that paves
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Speaker 1: the path to relational health, the question that really lays
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Speaker 1: a foundation for mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying relationships, A
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Speaker 1: question that honestly brings inescapable clarity to just about every
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Speaker 1: relational decision you will ever bump up against. A question
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Speaker 1: them I think a question everyone should ask, but a
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Speaker 1: question that Jesus followers, Well, we have to ask it.
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Speaker 1: Our fifth question is this, what does love require of me?
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Speaker 1: What does love require of me? This clarifying, and as
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Speaker 1: I said earlier, terrifying question should stand guard over our consciences.
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Speaker 1: It should serve as a guide, a signpost, a compass
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Speaker 1: as we navigate the complexities of relationships. It should inform
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Speaker 1: how we date, how we parent, how we boss, how
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Speaker 1: we manage, how we coach. It should form a perimeter
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Speaker 1: around what we say and what we do. And our
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Speaker 1: roles is spouse, coworker, neighbor, friend. This question gives voice
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Speaker 1: to God's will for us on so many issues. On
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Speaker 1: issues where the Bible is silent, it fills the gaps.
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Speaker 1: It succeeds where concordances fail. If you're a Christian, that
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Speaker 1: it crushes that insipid justification that we all grew up using.
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Speaker 1: But the Bible doesn't say there's anything wrong with right.
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Speaker 1: This question closes all those loopholes. In fact, it exposes
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Speaker 1: our hypocrisy. It stands as judge and jury. It's so simple,
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Speaker 1: but it is so inescapably demanding, and it intersects with
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Speaker 1: every imaginable relational scenario. I mean, we're all attempted to
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Speaker 1: ask or wonder, sometimes relationally, how little can I get
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Speaker 1: by with? Right? The very thing we don't want the
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Speaker 1: person on the other side of us to consider. This
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Speaker 1: question calls us to account. So relationally speaking, when you're
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Speaker 1: not sure of what to say or do, simply ask
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Speaker 1: what does love require of you? When unsure of what
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Speaker 1: to say or do, ask what does love require of you?
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Speaker 1: And then do unto others as your heavenly father through
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Speaker 1: Christ has done until you. He did what was best
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Speaker 1: for us. We are, in turn to do what's best
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Speaker 1: for others. We are to love as we have been loved,
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Speaker 1: and when we fall short, we're to own it quickly.
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Speaker 1: We're to own it before anyone even has to bring
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Speaker 1: it to our attention. And if that sounds like too
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Speaker 1: much to ask congratulations, then now you know that you
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Speaker 1: understand exactly what Jesus is asking of us. If there's
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Speaker 1: something in you that's like I just don't know if
26:40
Speaker 1: I can live up to that then you understand what
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Speaker 1: he's calling us to. Now. I imagine that you're smart
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Speaker 1: enough and emotionally dialed in enough to know what love
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Speaker 1: requires of you most of the time, even if we
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Speaker 1: don't want to admit it. Right, but just in case
26:54
Speaker 1: if love one another is not specific enough, the New
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Speaker 1: Testament is actually full of real world outplications of what
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Speaker 1: Jesus' new command brand of love looks like. In fact,
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Speaker 1: the authors of the New Testament did not add to
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Speaker 1: Jesus' new command. This is an area where it gets
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Speaker 1: confusing really quickly. They didn't come along and add to
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Speaker 1: jesus new command. They simply explain what it looks like.
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Speaker 1: They tell us how to apply it, and the apostle
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Speaker 1: Paul provides us with I think the clearest applications in
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Speaker 1: his letters to Christians living in the Roman province of
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Speaker 1: Galatia we mentioned earlier, He insists. He says this, when
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Speaker 1: it comes to relationships, God will always nudge you. The
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Speaker 1: Spirit of God will always nudg you in the direction
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Speaker 1: of kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. When when
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Speaker 1: you're tempted, when you're tempted to try to control someone else,
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Speaker 1: Paul says, the spirit of God is going to nudge
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Speaker 1: you in the direction of self control, because that's what
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Speaker 1: love requires well of you when in doubt, simply max
27:59
Speaker 1: these out. But this was actually the apostle Paul's abridged list.
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Speaker 1: His most detailed description of what real world love looks
28:06
Speaker 1: and acts like, is found in his first letter to
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Speaker 1: Christians living in corinth Right, We've talked about this so
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Speaker 1: many times. In fact, that list is so familiar. I
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Speaker 1: fear it doesn't even create so much as a ripple
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Speaker 1: in our conscience sometimes, especially for most modern readers. And
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Speaker 1: that's unfortunate, because Paul's description in First Corinthians is the
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Speaker 1: gold standard of what love looks like in the real world.
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Speaker 1: What does love require of us? You know this, he says, Well,
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Speaker 1: it's patient, it's kind. This brand of love doesn't envy,
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Speaker 1: it doesn't boast, it's not proud. It does not dishonor others.
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Speaker 1: Love never treats another person dishonorably, disgracefully, indecently. Again, Love
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Speaker 1: never treats another person dishonorably, disgracefully, or indecently. One more time.
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Speaker 1: Love never treats another person dishonorably, disgracefully or indecently, because
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Speaker 1: Jesus never treated another person, including you, dishonorably, disgracefully, or indecently.
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Speaker 1: What if we just got that right love? He goes on.
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Speaker 1: He says, love doesn't create regret. It's not self seeking,
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Speaker 1: it's not easily angered. It doesn't keep score. Love conveniently
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Speaker 1: forgets the bad and elevates the good. Love forgives and
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Speaker 1: pretends to forget. That's what love requires. Love doesn't. Love
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Speaker 1: doesn't delight and evil, but it rejoices with what's true.
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Speaker 1: It always protects. In other words, love never smuggles something
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Speaker 1: harmful into the relationship. Just the opposite, Love keeps harmful
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Speaker 1: things out. Love doesn't seek to win arguments. Love works
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Speaker 1: to protect the relationship. Love chooses to trust. He finishes up,
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Speaker 1: finishes up this powerful piece of literature. He says, love
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Speaker 1: always hopes, and it always preserves, It always protects. That's
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Speaker 1: what love requires of us. That's why our fifth question
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Speaker 1: is not for the fate of heart. But before you
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Speaker 1: decide to remove it from the list of questions to ask,
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Speaker 1: whenever you're making a decision, I want you to consider this,
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Speaker 1: isn't that or aren't these things, what you hope for
30:42
Speaker 1: or even expect from the people closest to you, your spouse,
30:45
Speaker 1: your fiance, your significant other, your kids, isn't isn't this
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Speaker 1: what you hope for from your friends and your neighbors
30:52
Speaker 1: and the people you work with. I mean, if these
30:54
Speaker 1: are the behaviors or responses we consciously or even subconsciously
30:58
Speaker 1: expect from others, shouldn't they be required of us as well?
31:03
Speaker 1: So before you react to someone, before you over respond
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Speaker 1: to someone, before you remind them of their past, before
31:14
Speaker 1: you get out of the car and go into the
31:16
Speaker 1: house to straighten everybody out, before you walk into his
31:20
Speaker 1: or her office. As you're contemplating that invitation, before you decide,
31:27
Speaker 1: ask what does love require of me? What does love?
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Speaker 1: I know what I've done in the past. I know
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Speaker 1: what everybody expects. I know what everybody else does. I
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Speaker 1: know what my pattern in my habit has been. I
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Speaker 1: know what they deserve. But what does love require of me?
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Speaker 1: If you're a Jesus follower, this is like asking what
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Speaker 1: does my Lord require of me? It may require you
31:55
Speaker 1: to get up out of your chair in just a
31:56
Speaker 1: few minutes and walk into the kitchen or the bedroom
31:59
Speaker 1: and apologize eyes. It may require you to pick up
32:02
Speaker 1: your phone and rebuild a bridge that you burn down
32:05
Speaker 1: with your unassailable logic sarcasm. You were right, but being
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Speaker 1: right wasn't what love required. You may need to write
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Speaker 1: a letter or rewrite an email and know the other
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Speaker 1: party may not be interested in what love requires of
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Speaker 1: them or what love requires of you, But that's okay. Right.
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Speaker 1: Chances are is and this true. Chances are there was
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Speaker 1: a time when you weren't interested in what God's love
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Speaker 1: for you required of heim, but he didn't quit pursuing you.
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Speaker 1: There are things, and this may be hard for you
32:35
Speaker 1: to take coming from me, but you know there are
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Speaker 1: things that I'll never understand. In fact, there are things
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Speaker 1: that Jesus said I'm not exactly sure what to do
32:43
Speaker 1: with in the modern world. But my lack of understanding
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Speaker 1: never impedes my capacity to put others first. A's complicated,
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Speaker 1: as so many things are. Is there's so many things
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Speaker 1: I'll never understand. But when it comes down to this question,
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Speaker 1: as much as I don't know, I almost always know
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Speaker 1: what love requires of me. And if Jesus was correct,
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Speaker 1: apparently that's enough. If Jesus was correct, that's what it
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Speaker 1: means to be his follower. That's the center, that's the
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Speaker 1: kingdom of God on earth. What does love require of
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Speaker 1: you