Latest / DA CREW Podcast / LET THE HEALING BEGIN 1+1=1 YOU + ME = US APOSTLES LEE & DR KIMBERLY THOMAS

Transcript

LET THE HEALING BEGIN 1+1=1 YOU + ME = US APOSTLES LEE & DR KIMBERLY THOMAS · DA CREW Podcast

0:00
Speaker 1: Said, it's my home.
0:05
Speaker 2: Take me to.
0:10
Speaker 1: Truth is I'm tied options off. I'm trying to pray,
0:22
Speaker 1: but where are.
0:26
Speaker 3: I?
0:27
Speaker 1: I'm all church d hurding of.
0:36
Speaker 3: I can't pray?
0:38
Speaker 1: What is that to?
0:45
Speaker 3: Marriage isn't always perfect, but healing is always possible. Welcome
0:51
Speaker 3: to Let the Healing begin. With your hosts, Apostle Sleep
0:56
Speaker 3: and Kimberly Thomas. This podcast tackles real life issues with
1:01
Speaker 3: raw truth and a powerful his and her perspective. We
1:06
Speaker 3: talk marriage, we talk sex, we talk lost love and
1:11
Speaker 3: relational challenges. Couples don't always say out loud. If you're
1:16
Speaker 3: ready for honest dialogue, faith filled insight, and a practical
1:22
Speaker 3: wisdom that restores connection and strengthens your marriage, you're in
1:28
Speaker 3: the right place. Come journey with us as we let
1:33
Speaker 3: the healing begin.
1:44
Speaker 4: Hey, good evening, Good evening, and.
1:47
Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome to Let the Healing Begin. We are your
1:51
Speaker 1: hosts and Kimberly Thomas, and we are so glad that
1:55
Speaker 1: you have decided to join us here tonight. We want
1:59
Speaker 1: to welcome you to Let the Healing begin. Where we
2:02
Speaker 1: talk about real life issues. We talk about sex, we
2:06
Speaker 1: talk about marriage, we talk about those conversations that most
2:10
Speaker 1: people do not want to talk about, and we are
2:14
Speaker 1: here for it. So we are glad that you have
2:16
Speaker 1: joined us here tonight. Before we get started, we just
2:19
Speaker 1: want to open up with this disclaimer. We do not
2:23
Speaker 1: claim to have perfected this thing called marriage, nor do
2:27
Speaker 1: we claim to have the monopoly on marriage. But one
2:31
Speaker 1: thing that we do have is a marriage, and we
2:34
Speaker 1: have experience in this marriage. And most of all, we
2:38
Speaker 1: have a mandate from God to share this journey with you,
2:43
Speaker 1: this journey called marriage. So we are so grateful that
2:45
Speaker 1: you have joined us here tonight. We have another hot topic,
2:50
Speaker 1: one that we think is going to really bring about
2:54
Speaker 1: some conversation tonight.
2:56
Speaker 4: Many things that we have experience.
3:00
Speaker 1: So tonight we're gonna do a little bit of marriage addition.
3:06
Speaker 1: When one plus one equals one, Okay, one plus one
3:11
Speaker 1: equals one in this thing called marriage, and so I
3:15
Speaker 1: want to bring forth the topic tonight. One plus one
3:19
Speaker 1: equals one. And most of all, I'm not married to
3:23
Speaker 1: your people.
3:25
Speaker 2: Hold on, we got married. So you're trying to tell
3:27
Speaker 2: me that it's not about my people and us. It's
3:31
Speaker 2: just you and I, just you and I.
3:33
Speaker 1: One plus one equals one, and that's so important. For
3:36
Speaker 1: us to understand in marriage, because so many marriages are
3:42
Speaker 1: ending because of the simple fact that many couples do
3:46
Speaker 1: not know marriage. Addition, they don't understand the fact that
3:50
Speaker 1: one plus one equals one, not many. And so we
3:54
Speaker 1: want to talk. We want to tackle this tonight because
3:58
Speaker 1: when you get married and when you actually when you
4:02
Speaker 1: tell your relatives, your family, or whomever that you're getting married,
4:06
Speaker 1: they have their opinions about the person that you're gonna marry.
4:10
Speaker 1: Once you are married, they have their opinion about what
4:14
Speaker 1: you should or should not be doing in your marriage
4:17
Speaker 1: and how things should work. So one thing I want
4:20
Speaker 1: to open up with tonight is this is not your
4:24
Speaker 1: mama and daddy's marriage, or.
4:27
Speaker 2: Your sister, brother, cousin, uncle, auntie, and anybody else that's
4:32
Speaker 2: close to you that feels as though they have control
4:37
Speaker 2: of your life. When you get married, you come into
4:41
Speaker 2: a union. She's not above you, you're not beneath her.
4:45
Speaker 2: You become one and in that oneness we're supposed to
4:49
Speaker 2: be just as one. If I see it and tell
4:53
Speaker 2: her it's there, that that means she saw it. If
4:56
Speaker 2: we're one, that's the key. We have to be one.
5:01
Speaker 2: But oftentimes in marriages, people feel like they have to
5:05
Speaker 2: interject their thoughts they know how and most of the
5:10
Speaker 2: time what they've been through in their marriage that has
5:15
Speaker 2: nothing to do with your marriage.
5:20
Speaker 1: And that's so true. That's why I really want us
5:23
Speaker 1: to stress the point that you know, our marriages are
5:26
Speaker 1: not our mama and daddy's marriages, because for most of
5:31
Speaker 1: us that have parents that were married, sometimes as our mothers,
5:37
Speaker 1: they have gone through some things that we wouldn't stand
5:41
Speaker 1: for today. You know, some of the things that many
5:44
Speaker 1: women experience, and they stay and they go through things
5:48
Speaker 1: and they're just like, okay, it's okay, it's not really okay,
5:53
Speaker 1: it's not. And so we have to understand that what
5:58
Speaker 1: God has joined together, let no man put us under.
6:01
Speaker 1: And so when He tells us in the word, then
6:04
Speaker 1: when we get married, we cleave to one another, not
6:08
Speaker 1: to our parents.
6:10
Speaker 4: We are no longer cleaving to our parents.
6:13
Speaker 1: We are now cleaving to our spouses, and we become one.
6:17
Speaker 1: So that means that the only voices that matter in
6:22
Speaker 1: our marriage is our voice and the voice of God,
6:26
Speaker 1: nobody else's. We can take, we can accept some of
6:32
Speaker 1: the things that our family members may say. You know,
6:36
Speaker 1: some of the things that our parents may say, especially
6:38
Speaker 1: if they have some years together, But it is not
6:42
Speaker 1: the golden rule for your marriage, because what happened or
6:46
Speaker 1: worked for them may not work for you.
6:49
Speaker 2: It's a different age, you know, at a different time.
6:53
Speaker 2: Back during the time when my parents got together. You know,
6:56
Speaker 2: it was the man leads, which he should, but you
6:59
Speaker 2: were still support spposed to be one. But what I
7:02
Speaker 2: say go that law changed a long time ago. Now
7:06
Speaker 2: we understand that the one is supposed to submit and
7:10
Speaker 2: she's supposed to be your help me. That law stands
7:14
Speaker 2: because that's the word. But the thing of it is,
7:18
Speaker 2: are you able to stand in that position where you
7:21
Speaker 2: should be one plus one equals one? Which is you
7:25
Speaker 2: and I? Yes, you know. You don't dictate to me,
7:29
Speaker 2: you don't force me, you ask me, because at the
7:34
Speaker 2: end of the day, we're still one with two different
7:37
Speaker 2: individuals that have became one.
7:41
Speaker 1: And that's so important. You know, Rashanda said that one
7:47
Speaker 1: plus one equals one. That's us and not family and friends.
7:50
Speaker 1: And that is so true. That is so true because
7:54
Speaker 1: so many times we as women and I'm going to
7:57
Speaker 1: talk to us and I'm going to say some stuff
8:00
Speaker 1: that probably a lot of us will not really agree
8:04
Speaker 1: with right off, but if you really think about it,
8:07
Speaker 1: I think you'll get with me. Some of us have
8:10
Speaker 1: friends that are not married. Some of us have friends
8:14
Speaker 1: that are single friends. Some of us have some friends
8:18
Speaker 1: that are bitter divorced friends. Some of us have some
8:21
Speaker 1: friends that are in lifelong shacking. So you know, and
8:27
Speaker 1: they want to always interject what they think, what their
8:32
Speaker 1: opinion is. First and foremost, a married woman has no
8:38
Speaker 1: business sharing her marriage and the things that are going
8:43
Speaker 1: on in her marriage with her friends, especially if she
8:47
Speaker 1: is single. There are times when we come together as
8:52
Speaker 1: friends when we can talk to one another, but there
8:55
Speaker 1: are things that we should never divulge in our marriages
8:59
Speaker 1: because us, for one, we may think somebody is our
9:02
Speaker 1: friend and they really are not our friend. They are
9:05
Speaker 1: looking at your maid and they are going to give
9:09
Speaker 1: advice based on what they would like to see happen
9:13
Speaker 1: in your marriage. And so these are the things that
9:16
Speaker 1: we have to think about. It's so easy for people
9:20
Speaker 1: to talk about somebody else's business.
9:22
Speaker 2: The think of it is with that it's not your marriage.
9:26
Speaker 2: When you have friends that are not married, or some
9:29
Speaker 2: people that you deal with that you bring into your marriage,
9:32
Speaker 2: they see themselves exactly with your maid, whether it be
9:37
Speaker 2: a man or a woman. Yes, if it was me,
9:40
Speaker 2: I would do it like that. And a lot of times,
9:43
Speaker 2: you know, females would throw themselves at your husband, and
9:49
Speaker 2: men all say and do little slick things as well. Yes,
9:53
Speaker 2: but at that point we can't be like we used
9:57
Speaker 2: to be, you know, just kind of brushing under road.
9:59
Speaker 2: I didn't want to tell you no, that's the first mistake.
10:02
Speaker 2: Let them know immediately. Your mate, well he said or
10:06
Speaker 2: she said, someone did something that was inappropriate. You know,
10:11
Speaker 2: he gonna get mad or she's gonna get mad because
10:13
Speaker 2: you know it was wrong. So if you know this,
10:16
Speaker 2: then the person that did it definitely know this. But
10:18
Speaker 2: you're giving them power by not saying.
10:21
Speaker 1: Anything right, So that's like the green light. That's like saying, okay,
10:26
Speaker 1: well what you did that was out of line. It
10:28
Speaker 1: was okay, and it's not okay. And so we have
10:31
Speaker 1: to learn how to draw lines, and especially when it
10:34
Speaker 1: comes to family, because so many times, you know, a
10:38
Speaker 1: mother or a father may have a particular person that
10:43
Speaker 1: was their favorite, that you may have dated back in
10:46
Speaker 1: the past, and so you know they might have been
10:49
Speaker 1: able to get by with some things that some people
10:51
Speaker 1: may have done, you know, because like mothers when their
10:55
Speaker 1: sons have girlfriends that bring good gifts and different things
10:59
Speaker 1: like that and do little stuff for them, they tend
11:02
Speaker 1: to gravitate to those. But then when you come on
11:05
Speaker 1: the scene and you like, I'm not I'll have to
11:08
Speaker 1: buy you. You know, I'm not daying you. I'm dain
11:10
Speaker 1: your son. And so when you come on the scene
11:14
Speaker 1: and that's your mentality that you know, I don't have
11:17
Speaker 1: to I don't have to pay to be in a
11:20
Speaker 1: relationship with your child. I don't have to do that.
11:25
Speaker 1: And the mother then begins to say, oh, well, you
11:29
Speaker 1: know this is a little sadity hell for she. She
11:31
Speaker 1: ain't trying to cotton to me. You know, she ain't
11:34
Speaker 1: doing this for me. She not doing that for me.
11:36
Speaker 1: And so then the mother begins to drop little subtle hints,
11:40
Speaker 1: and then she may even begin to if she still
11:43
Speaker 1: has contact with the ex girlfriends or whomever. Then all
11:47
Speaker 1: of a sudden, the ex girlfriends just start popping up
11:50
Speaker 1: at different little family functions and different little things.
11:53
Speaker 4: And so if you don't know who these people are, as.
11:58
Speaker 1: Least stated earlier, one thing about it. People are, especially
12:04
Speaker 1: some women some women are just loose and they don't care.
12:07
Speaker 1: They don't care. They can know that you married, and
12:10
Speaker 1: they could give less than a flip flop that you
12:13
Speaker 1: are married, because they're just going to put all their
12:17
Speaker 1: cards on the table. They're gonna flash do whatever they
12:20
Speaker 1: gotta do to try to get the attention of your mate,
12:24
Speaker 1: and then that's gonna cause friction if you don't know
12:28
Speaker 1: who you are and where you stand in a marriage.
12:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, they do that for the simple fact that you know,
12:36
Speaker 2: had it, lost it and they think it's gonna cost
12:39
Speaker 2: to get it back. But you can't get it back,
12:43
Speaker 2: you know, because you've moved on. And what happens is
12:47
Speaker 2: I start to be closer to the mother to get
12:52
Speaker 2: under your skin because I'm bringing these gifts and stuff
12:56
Speaker 2: like that. But at that point you have to really
12:58
Speaker 2: talk to your mate and be one hundred with them. Look,
13:01
Speaker 2: that's your mom or that's your dad or whatever. We
13:04
Speaker 2: don't have to go over there. And here's the key.
13:06
Speaker 2: I don't have to go over there and I don't
13:08
Speaker 2: have to subject myself to that type of treatment because
13:13
Speaker 2: you already know what it is. Now, either you like
13:16
Speaker 2: what's going on, or you got to make a decision,
13:20
Speaker 2: but once you become one, there's no decision to be made.
13:24
Speaker 2: We're together. It's at forsaken all others. Yes, all is all,
13:29
Speaker 2: and that's all. It's us, not all. It's just us,
13:33
Speaker 2: you and I. And the thing of it is, we
13:36
Speaker 2: have to be mindful of how this comes about because
13:40
Speaker 2: what used to be in anymore.
13:43
Speaker 1: And that's so true because you know, when you really
13:46
Speaker 1: start to think about all of the different things, how
13:51
Speaker 1: we sometimes allow our families to have influence in our marriage.
13:56
Speaker 1: They don't know how to really the line. You know,
14:01
Speaker 1: there are some couples that don't know how. They don't
14:03
Speaker 1: know how to tell people to tend to their business. Basically,
14:08
Speaker 1: that's just what it all boils down to. Ten of
14:10
Speaker 1: your business. Mind your business, because my marriage is not
14:13
Speaker 1: your business. And you can say whatever you want to say,
14:16
Speaker 1: but I'm just gonna let you know that's not your business.
14:20
Speaker 1: You know, you need to tend to your business. And
14:23
Speaker 1: a lot of times people feel as though it's going
14:27
Speaker 1: to cause major friction and family relationships or whatever, to
14:32
Speaker 1: the point to where they will just suck it up
14:34
Speaker 1: and not say anything, and that only causes more problems
14:38
Speaker 1: because when you cannot be open and honest about the
14:43
Speaker 1: fact that this is our marriage. We are ones and
14:47
Speaker 1: whatever we're going through, we're gonna deal with it. We're
14:50
Speaker 1: gonna work it out. What have you? You know, because you,
14:53
Speaker 1: like I said, you have these parents that sometimes drop
14:56
Speaker 1: these subtle hands where you know when you and so
14:58
Speaker 1: and so with together when it well, me and so
15:00
Speaker 1: and so we never got married, Me and so and so,
15:03
Speaker 1: we were just an item. Me and so and so
15:06
Speaker 1: have nothing in common now because I have a wife.
15:10
Speaker 1: I don't know if they got a husband, but I
15:13
Speaker 1: got a wife, or I have a husband, and me
15:15
Speaker 1: and so and so we don't have anything anymore. Because
15:20
Speaker 1: what me and so and so had, it's done is
15:23
Speaker 1: over with. And this is the thing that we have
15:26
Speaker 1: to understand that when it comes to our marriage, we
15:30
Speaker 1: have to realize that it is just us. You have
15:33
Speaker 1: to learn how to do the addition of marriage one
15:38
Speaker 1: plus one equals one. Not everybody. We can't allow them
15:43
Speaker 1: to begin to come and take over our marriages. If
15:50
Speaker 1: it really is crazy to me, because we have spoken
15:56
Speaker 1: with some people and just to hear grown men say
16:01
Speaker 1: that they can sit and have a conversation with their
16:05
Speaker 1: mother about their sex life with their wife and all that.
16:09
Speaker 1: That's not mama's business. That's not mama's business. Mama don't
16:13
Speaker 1: have no business knowing what's going on in your business.
16:18
Speaker 2: But when it comes like that, see, that's that's I'm
16:21
Speaker 2: glad you touched on that because a lot of times
16:25
Speaker 2: some men are mama's boys and me and Mama was
16:29
Speaker 2: always down. You know, it's always gonna be my mama
16:31
Speaker 2: and us. But it's not Mama and us, right, it's
16:35
Speaker 2: us and hey, mama, how you doing. I'm gonna look out.
16:38
Speaker 2: But it's it's a it's a it's a line that
16:41
Speaker 2: you must draw because I've heard several times, well before
16:45
Speaker 2: you was with this one, you used to do this
16:48
Speaker 2: and you used to do that. And I was the
16:51
Speaker 2: one that did that in my family. I looked out
16:54
Speaker 2: for my family because that's all I had until my
16:58
Speaker 2: wife came in on the scene. And when she came
17:01
Speaker 2: on the scene, I had somebody that loved me for me,
17:04
Speaker 2: not for what I could do. And whenever we learned that,
17:09
Speaker 2: I think we were being taken advantage of it in
17:11
Speaker 2: a lot of different situations. I cut it off, and
17:15
Speaker 2: then they cut me off like I was the villain,
17:20
Speaker 2: you know, because I didn't do what I used to do,
17:23
Speaker 2: but I tried for a long time. I'm gonna throw
17:26
Speaker 2: something this way, I'm gonna throw something that way. But
17:28
Speaker 2: you know what all it does at the end of
17:30
Speaker 2: the day is bring turmoil to your family, you know,
17:35
Speaker 2: because sooner or later, when it doesn't work or we
17:38
Speaker 2: didn't break up or anything of that nature, then they
17:40
Speaker 2: started dropping up that, well can I get another so
17:43
Speaker 2: and so you brought it to me. Left Now you're
17:45
Speaker 2: looking like wow, why And then when you go home, well,
17:49
Speaker 2: when did you give them that? Well, see what happened
17:53
Speaker 2: was I did this? But what about us when we
17:57
Speaker 2: need this, that and the third they have theirs? What
18:00
Speaker 2: about us? When you take your life back, know that
18:04
Speaker 2: you're gonna become the villain. It doesn't take Mama, It
18:08
Speaker 2: doesn't take that. It takes you and I. And once
18:12
Speaker 2: you learn that it's you and I against the world,
18:15
Speaker 2: then we can make it. We can we can be
18:17
Speaker 2: catapulted to the next level because we're no longer like them.
18:22
Speaker 1: And that's one thing that we have to we have
18:24
Speaker 1: to really deal with when it's just when we realize
18:29
Speaker 1: that it's me and you, we have to break the
18:35
Speaker 1: cycle of the secrets.
18:37
Speaker 2: There you go, there you go.
18:39
Speaker 1: We have to break the cycle of the secrets. It
18:41
Speaker 1: can't be that daddy's calling me saying that he needs something,
18:46
Speaker 1: and so I'm running and I'm slipping daddy a little something,
18:49
Speaker 1: and Mama calling you telling you that she need a
18:52
Speaker 1: little something, and you running and slipping Mama a little something.
18:55
Speaker 1: And then when it comes time for us to balance
18:58
Speaker 1: our check books and figure out our bills, then we
19:03
Speaker 1: see the little something over here and the little something
19:05
Speaker 1: over there. It's mentioning. So what happened to that money?
19:08
Speaker 1: Where that money came from, where that money went? And
19:10
Speaker 1: you know, and likely said they will wait until they
19:13
Speaker 1: get you right in front of somebody else, right in
19:16
Speaker 1: front of your partner, when they have asked you, and
19:19
Speaker 1: you're saying no, I can't do it, Well, why you
19:21
Speaker 1: can't do it this time? You've been doing it. And
19:23
Speaker 1: so now here's the problem because now our one plus one,
19:28
Speaker 1: we've added somebody else to the mix, and now they're
19:32
Speaker 1: putting their spind and their twists to manipulate the situation
19:36
Speaker 1: to where they wanted to be. And now there's friction
19:39
Speaker 1: in the marriage. But when we break the cycle of
19:42
Speaker 1: the secrets. And if we're gonna do something, we're going
19:46
Speaker 1: to come together when one come. If Daddy comes to
19:50
Speaker 1: me and say, hey, I need to get a little something,
19:53
Speaker 1: until whenever, okay, let me ask my husband or my wife.
19:58
Speaker 1: And that's how it should be. Shouldn't be, well, well,
20:01
Speaker 1: that's my daddy, and I'm gonna do this for my
20:03
Speaker 1: daddy or whatever. You can't stop me from doing because
20:06
Speaker 1: there are times when I can see farther than you,
20:10
Speaker 1: and you may be able to see farther than me.
20:13
Speaker 1: You can see the manipulation. You can see what's being done.
20:17
Speaker 1: You can see how they're playing us against each other
20:21
Speaker 1: just to get what they want.
20:23
Speaker 2: Because I don't want that because now it's it has
20:28
Speaker 2: cut off what I was receiving. Yes, you know, and
20:33
Speaker 2: you're no longer under my dumb No, I'm no longer
20:37
Speaker 2: your boy or your daughter. I'm a grown man with
20:41
Speaker 2: a family. She's a grown woman with a family. Yes
20:45
Speaker 2: you know. It's not that I'm throwing you to the
20:47
Speaker 2: wolves or nothing like that. But what at the end
20:50
Speaker 2: of the day, what about us? Not me? Us? See?
20:54
Speaker 2: Because what happens is when you start saying, well, look
20:57
Speaker 2: this was my money. You don't have We have no money.
21:00
Speaker 2: When we are one, that's our money. Yes, don't allow
21:06
Speaker 2: those words come out you other. That's my car, that's
21:09
Speaker 2: your car. When you start having manyo situations. That's my girlfriend,
21:13
Speaker 2: that's my boyfriend. That's not my wife, that's not my husband.
21:16
Speaker 2: I had someone say that to me one time. Man,
21:19
Speaker 2: your wife be driving like I said, well, what you
21:21
Speaker 2: say now? Your wife? I said, say it again. I
21:24
Speaker 2: can understand. Your wife said, stop right there. What do
21:26
Speaker 2: you say my wife? Yes? I said, did you catch that?
21:29
Speaker 2: My wife, not yours. Everything that's out that she can
21:33
Speaker 2: drive it. Do whatever, deal with your household because it's
21:39
Speaker 2: not a Mayo situation here. When we purchased our home,
21:44
Speaker 2: my wife was working down south and she said, just
21:48
Speaker 2: sign it. I said, oh no, we can't do that.
21:53
Speaker 2: I said, cause I've been in a situation before where
21:55
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't sign my name on the job.
21:58
Speaker 2: My name is on the bottle. Guess what, I don't
22:02
Speaker 2: have no say so my name on the top. That's it.
22:05
Speaker 2: So I said, I don't fix this. They said, well
22:06
Speaker 2: you can't do that, and then I can't buy it
22:09
Speaker 2: because we're gonna be here together. If we get mad,
22:11
Speaker 2: you go in that room. I'm goa go on this one.
22:12
Speaker 2: But they know you go and I stay, or I
22:14
Speaker 2: stay and you go. It's definitely gonna be one. And
22:19
Speaker 2: once we get that and break that cycle of speaking,
22:22
Speaker 2: because we have our words have power, right. This is ours, yes,
22:27
Speaker 2: not my yo. If you drive to put gas in it.
22:32
Speaker 2: Don't argue about money. Money, it will break up everything.
22:36
Speaker 2: Don't argue about food. What I just bought, so what
22:40
Speaker 2: buy some? Oh? You know you need it? Yes, just
22:44
Speaker 2: that simple. Yes, don't argue about money. The cagniqu gas
22:49
Speaker 2: put it in there. That's all. Once you get past that,
22:53
Speaker 2: we can live now because it's ours. I'm not gonna
22:57
Speaker 2: hurt you, and I pray to God you ain't gonna
22:59
Speaker 2: hurt me when we come to one. We don't even
23:01
Speaker 2: have to pray about that because I already know you're
23:03
Speaker 2: looking out for my best interest.
23:06
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. When we become one, it's no
23:10
Speaker 1: longer ours and it's not a problem for us. It's
23:13
Speaker 1: not a problem for me to say that's mine or
23:16
Speaker 1: that's yours. No, this is ours. You know, this is ours.
23:20
Speaker 1: This belonged to us, and so that's the thing that
23:23
Speaker 1: we have to understand. When that one plus one equals one,
23:26
Speaker 1: that means on every level it's one, which means it's ours.
23:32
Speaker 1: It's not a mind your situation, because when you begin
23:36
Speaker 1: to take credit and ownership, Oh that's mine, I bought this,
23:41
Speaker 1: that's that is that brings about a lot of dissension
23:46
Speaker 1: and because of the simple fact that maybe I wasn't
23:49
Speaker 1: able to buy it, maybe my my my money didn't
23:54
Speaker 1: didn't link up or add up to what it costs.
23:58
Speaker 1: Maybe I couldn't do it. And so now that you
24:02
Speaker 1: know you're saying, well I had to do this or
24:05
Speaker 1: I had to do that, that brings about a lot
24:07
Speaker 1: of division and dissension, and that brings about hurt feelings.
24:11
Speaker 1: And so this is the thing that we have to understand.
24:14
Speaker 1: And so when we start looking at that, we have
24:17
Speaker 1: to think about it, you know, because, like I said,
24:20
Speaker 1: a lot of marriages, a lot of marriages break up
24:23
Speaker 1: because of bringing other people in, listening to what other
24:28
Speaker 1: people say. When you have friends that have gone through
24:32
Speaker 1: divorces and their divorce, they're not end well, they didn't
24:36
Speaker 1: get everything that they wanted in their divorce. They their
24:39
Speaker 1: spouse may have cheated on them, and they are just bitter.
24:43
Speaker 1: They are just bitter, bitter, bitter and nothing. Every man
24:47
Speaker 1: is a dog. And if they met right or a woman.
24:52
Speaker 1: If they see your maids standing up talking to somebody
24:55
Speaker 1: they don't even know if it's their relative, it could
24:57
Speaker 1: be their daddy, it could be their mama, they sisters,
25:00
Speaker 1: so they brother somebody they don't even know. Then here comes,
25:03
Speaker 1: oh child, I seen him over here with so and
25:05
Speaker 1: so and so here a dog. I told you you
25:07
Speaker 1: need to leave him. I told you this dad and
25:09
Speaker 1: the other thing. You cannot allow.
25:11
Speaker 4: Somebody else's marriage and what they went through, or their
25:15
Speaker 4: marital woes that they went through to come in to
25:20
Speaker 4: your marriage, because somebody can drop one negative nugget and
25:24
Speaker 4: have you running around like a hit dog chasing your tail.
25:28
Speaker 2: You know, we were just looking earlier, and these were
25:33
Speaker 2: two friends. The one friend was there when the other
25:37
Speaker 2: friend had a divorce and she was just being a
25:41
Speaker 2: good friend. Now the friend that was there for you
25:46
Speaker 2: start dating someone else. So they decided to do a
25:49
Speaker 2: little background check on them because they had the ability
25:52
Speaker 2: to check in their history. She came to it. She said,
25:56
Speaker 2: I know you told me not to be looking at
25:59
Speaker 2: his history. And all that you got this, she said,
26:02
Speaker 2: but I just got to tell you, and I hope
26:03
Speaker 2: you don't get mad. She said, whatever, she said, he's married.
26:07
Speaker 2: Then she got mad at her and she said, well,
26:08
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Two days later, after she calmed down a
26:12
Speaker 2: little bit, the woman came to apologize. She said, I
26:16
Speaker 2: don't need an apology. I needed you to allow me
26:19
Speaker 2: the opportunity to be my own woman and figured out
26:23
Speaker 2: myself because there are things that you don't know or
26:27
Speaker 2: understand about this relationship. Yes, the man was married, that
26:33
Speaker 2: was true. The woman lived overseas. Paperwork being done is
26:38
Speaker 2: just taking so much time to get back on the forward.
26:41
Speaker 2: But you see how that brought the vision into that relationship.
26:46
Speaker 2: People will come and drop a nugget when it ain't
26:48
Speaker 2: their business because they what they went through not your business.
26:55
Speaker 2: Harp over, stay in your lane, handle your business now.
26:59
Speaker 2: If you ask me, make sure you want to know
27:01
Speaker 2: the truth, because I'm gonna tell you the truth. But
27:04
Speaker 2: don't ask me if you don't want to know. And
27:06
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna di bulge that to you, because one
27:09
Speaker 2: thing I do know that's gonna hurt you. One. It
27:12
Speaker 2: ain't my marriage, it ain't my situation. Learn to stay
27:17
Speaker 2: in your lane. Now somebody asked you, tell them the
27:20
Speaker 2: whole truth. But if they don't ask you, I ain't
27:23
Speaker 2: got nothing to do with that, say, because what I
27:25
Speaker 2: happened in the long run is simply this. They back together,
27:29
Speaker 2: they won't show enough now and you the building, and
27:32
Speaker 2: they don't like you, and you were just trying to
27:35
Speaker 2: help and help yourself out the situation. Same thing with
27:40
Speaker 2: your marriage with your parents. I wouldn't do this and
27:43
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do that. And because of the way you
27:46
Speaker 2: feel and love your parents, you don't want to say no, no, no,
27:50
Speaker 2: But the Bible said, we won. We won, not divided.
27:55
Speaker 2: We won. Look, Mama, I'm grown, Daddy, I'm grown. This
28:01
Speaker 2: is my wife. Leave that alone. And when you become
28:05
Speaker 2: grown for real, you can put your foot down and
28:07
Speaker 2: say that and don't feel bad about it, because you
28:10
Speaker 2: know what. I guarantee you. You can't go to your
28:13
Speaker 2: mother or father and tell them that they tell you
28:17
Speaker 2: to get it. You mind your business, stay in your
28:18
Speaker 2: place right.
28:19
Speaker 1: And that's so true. And because because of that, you know,
28:23
Speaker 1: and it's just like you said so many times, we
28:27
Speaker 1: may go through something and if we bring the family
28:31
Speaker 1: into it. The family then begins to turn on the
28:37
Speaker 1: respective spouse. So now they're mad with whoever. If I'm
28:42
Speaker 1: mad and I'm bringing it to my family, now my
28:45
Speaker 1: family's mad with you, and vice versa. You mad and
28:48
Speaker 1: you're bringing it to your family. Now your family's mad
28:50
Speaker 1: with me. So then we make up, We make up,
28:55
Speaker 1: and we come to the family function. But everybody's still mad.
29:00
Speaker 1: Nobody's still mad at me, and everybody's still mad at ye.
29:02
Speaker 2: It's right here, though, think about this now, Like my
29:07
Speaker 2: father used to say, if what you say is true,
29:11
Speaker 2: right now, you told your version of the story. Now
29:15
Speaker 2: everybody mad at me. But they didn't ask me. Now,
29:18
Speaker 2: they just took your side. That's right, and now me
29:21
Speaker 2: and you good. They're not good with me. And then
29:24
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I tell my side. Now you
29:25
Speaker 2: looking long face, because oh I didn't know that. First
29:29
Speaker 2: of all, it shouldn't have been your business. Right if
29:31
Speaker 2: they come to me, Hey, I gotta do it that.
29:34
Speaker 2: I gotta do it that. Now you want to talk
29:35
Speaker 2: about it that. I hear all that, but I ain't
29:37
Speaker 2: gonna do it that. I have no dog in the fight.
29:40
Speaker 2: I have no rebuttal for you with your wife or
29:43
Speaker 2: your husband. I listen all day long, but look ain,
29:48
Speaker 2: something had to be right if you said I do true.
29:52
Speaker 4: And that's why we don't bring the opinions of others
29:55
Speaker 4: into our relationship. So even if we come, even if
29:59
Speaker 4: we're talking or what have you. Oh well, okay, so
30:03
Speaker 4: I'm giving you this. I need somebody to venting. I'm
30:06
Speaker 4: venting to you.
30:07
Speaker 1: So this is not for you to take it and
30:10
Speaker 1: then turn on this on my spouse. This is not
30:14
Speaker 1: for you to do that. That's why you have to
30:16
Speaker 1: be careful and you have to know who you're talking to,
30:19
Speaker 1: because when we make up, you're still mad about something
30:24
Speaker 1: that I told you, and I could have just been
30:26
Speaker 1: in my feelings at the time. I could have been
30:29
Speaker 1: mad because I didn't get my way, whatever it is.
30:32
Speaker 1: That's why we have to understand the addition of marriage.
30:36
Speaker 1: One plus one is one. That's why communication is key.
30:41
Speaker 1: When we get mad with each other, we need to
30:44
Speaker 1: talk it out. Don't bring everybody else in the mix.
30:47
Speaker 1: Let's talk, Let's communicate. Let's not sit here and act
30:52
Speaker 1: like nothing is you know, Oh well, we in this house,
30:56
Speaker 1: but I don't have to speak to you. I'm not
30:57
Speaker 1: gonna speak to you for weeks. I'm just gonna walk
30:59
Speaker 1: around like you're not here. Don't say nothing to me.
31:02
Speaker 1: Every time you say something, I'm gonna snap at you,
31:04
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do all this. That's immature. That is immature.
31:09
Speaker 1: Grown people have grown people conversations. Grown people sit down
31:14
Speaker 1: and talk because communication is key. In every marriage, in
31:19
Speaker 1: every relationship, communication is key. And we have to learn
31:23
Speaker 1: how to communicate with one another so that we are
31:28
Speaker 1: able to have healthy marriages and we can let the
31:31
Speaker 1: healing begin. And we're gonna take a break and we're
31:34
Speaker 1: gonna come right back with you. Stay tuned. We'll be
31:37
Speaker 1: right back.
31:53
Speaker 2: And you're listening angel the sound.
32:00
Speaker 1: I want to I want my hormitat homter so everybody brown.
32:09
Speaker 1: You're trying to make it out so cool. Out of time?
32:14
Speaker 1: Where you go, Man, get shut the magnet. Ready, got
32:18
Speaker 1: a habit everything you everything, They're gotta have it.
32:22
Speaker 3: Not wants no time.
32:24
Speaker 1: Think Jesus about people want to get it back paper.
32:28
Speaker 1: What they don't know is when you go home and
32:31
Speaker 1: get a high cone or man, you hit the phone
32:33
Speaker 1: and but it takes me is your home? Don't nesle
32:36
Speaker 1: the next time? Begin to just tell them it's a guy,
32:39
Speaker 1: get home. It's the gout anything, it's anything is the
32:46
Speaker 1: gut is.
32:49
Speaker 5: It's a guy.
32:50
Speaker 4: They go so brush and they go and they got.
32:54
Speaker 1: At the cat. It you get my stay makes she nighttimes,
33:03
Speaker 1: look at home, whim wi main no whip.
33:05
Speaker 2: Time, look at her crib and you're thinking she paid
33:08
Speaker 2: looking her night night and she got it made everything
33:11
Speaker 2: she got.
33:12
Speaker 1: The girl's been giving. She can't hit her blessing? Did
33:15
Speaker 1: you gonna living? Then it come to money, she can
33:18
Speaker 1: be a hero. She writes them checks for a whole
33:21
Speaker 1: lot of zenoes. What you don't know is when she
33:24
Speaker 1: get home and get behind the call thog mat she
33:27
Speaker 1: hit the falling. What you can't she she'll tell you, Hey,
33:50
Speaker 1: we're that Hey. As we were on break, we were
33:53
Speaker 1: reviewing a few of the comments. We want to thank
33:55
Speaker 1: you guys for your comments tonight, thank you for joining us.
33:58
Speaker 1: And so there was comment that really kind of stuck
34:01
Speaker 1: out about partners being able to be mature enough to communicate.
34:06
Speaker 1: So you know, when it comes down to communication, and
34:11
Speaker 1: there are people in marriages that have friends, I'm not
34:18
Speaker 1: I'm not quite what I'm not gonna say. I don't
34:22
Speaker 1: have friends, but I don't have people that I hang
34:25
Speaker 1: out with or people maybe people just don't like me.
34:27
Speaker 1: You know, I've had that told to me before. You know,
34:31
Speaker 1: I don't have friends because nobody likes me because I
34:34
Speaker 1: tell the truth. But hey, it's okay because the truth
34:38
Speaker 1: is what makes us free. So I'm good with that
34:40
Speaker 1: because God is my friend. He's my best friend. And
34:44
Speaker 1: so when I think about that, thinking about you know,
34:47
Speaker 1: sometimes we do have individuals that we call friends or associates.
34:52
Speaker 1: So what have you that we want to, you know,
34:55
Speaker 1: maybe go hang out with. So, ladies, let me ask
34:59
Speaker 1: you a question. When it comes down to those of
35:03
Speaker 1: you who have friends and you're married and you have friends,
35:07
Speaker 1: and you and your friends want to get together, and
35:09
Speaker 1: y'all want to go and hang out, do you get permission?
35:14
Speaker 3: Oo?
35:16
Speaker 1: Do you ask permission?
35:17
Speaker 2: You bruised ahead on that one. Now, how many people
35:21
Speaker 2: you think listening and you say that, and what do
35:24
Speaker 2: you mean?
35:26
Speaker 1: They're throwing at the screen. They throwing at the screen,
35:31
Speaker 1: like my grandma said, they chunking something. But it's okay
35:34
Speaker 1: because the thing is we are we are supposed to
35:39
Speaker 1: get permission. We don't just say, hey, well, you know
35:43
Speaker 1: I'm doing this so I'm doing that. No, we get permission.
35:46
Speaker 1: We're and it's not like, well, you know, I gotta,
35:50
Speaker 1: I gotta just you gotta give me permission to do
35:53
Speaker 1: everything that I want to do. But being a married woman,
35:58
Speaker 1: being a married woman, I ask so and so, and
36:05
Speaker 1: I would like to do such and such. Is that okay?
36:10
Speaker 1: Or is it okay if I go and do this
36:12
Speaker 1: with so and so.
36:15
Speaker 2: See, here's the thing with that, right now, y'all, let's
36:18
Speaker 2: not take it out of context. This is the deal.
36:21
Speaker 2: It's called mutual respect. I do the same thing, you know.
36:28
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. This is another way of keeping
36:32
Speaker 2: people out of your business. And if you have daughters,
36:36
Speaker 2: you can show them because it's not that I'm a
36:38
Speaker 2: lord over you. But you know what, You go do this,
36:43
Speaker 2: that and the third, and I decide to start going
36:47
Speaker 2: to do that, and then all of a sudden there's
36:49
Speaker 2: a crack. And that's how the devil get in. A
36:53
Speaker 2: crack becomes a gully. A gully becomes a pawn, a
36:57
Speaker 2: pond becomes a late, late becomes a Then we so
37:01
Speaker 2: far apart, we don't know how we lost it. There's
37:04
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that, because hold on, let'm go talk
37:05
Speaker 2: to my wife about that. I be right back with you,
37:08
Speaker 2: and I had someone to ask. You said, talk to
37:11
Speaker 2: your wife, ain't you the man? I said, yeah, I'm
37:12
Speaker 2: the ahead of my house. I trust. Let me believe that,
37:14
Speaker 2: not that it's your business, but that's my wife. I
37:17
Speaker 2: don't know what she got planned for us, or what
37:19
Speaker 2: she wants me to do or what she wants us
37:22
Speaker 2: to do. You see, once you learn to respect each
37:27
Speaker 2: other's boundaries and place, that's it, you know, because at
37:30
Speaker 2: least that at that point, I know where you're at,
37:32
Speaker 2: you know where I'm at. I ain't got to wonder,
37:35
Speaker 2: you know, because say, for instance, we just had a
37:38
Speaker 2: heated fellowship, or I'll be back, but see you so mad?
37:43
Speaker 2: You ain't gonna ask me where I'm going. You want
37:45
Speaker 2: to know, but you ain't gonna ask that question because
37:48
Speaker 2: I'm not talking to you because we've been even being
37:51
Speaker 2: childish not saying that. I end up being through that
37:55
Speaker 2: because I donet walked in the house, but we ain't
37:57
Speaker 2: had nothing say for weeks, and I was like, man,
37:59
Speaker 2: this is crack. But you know what, I wasn't married either,
38:04
Speaker 2: so you know, it comes. It brings about a change,
38:09
Speaker 2: and you need to know how to grow up and
38:13
Speaker 2: be that way. You know, yeah, let me talk to
38:15
Speaker 2: my husband. Baby, Yeah, go ahead. I never say no,
38:21
Speaker 2: why because I know who she is. But you know,
38:25
Speaker 2: I have said, well, who's going with you? And I've
38:29
Speaker 2: seen some people say I know, he oh baby, not
38:33
Speaker 2: to know because you got to do what's going on
38:36
Speaker 2: over here? You run your house like you run yours,
38:39
Speaker 2: but we run this differently. It's about mutual respect, that's all.
38:45
Speaker 2: And that's it and.
38:46
Speaker 1: One thing that we have to remember. And this is
38:49
Speaker 1: kind of going back to our last show where we
38:52
Speaker 1: talked about whose body is it? Because I belong to
38:57
Speaker 1: him and he belongs to me. So it's important for
39:03
Speaker 1: me to first of all, as a woman, I submit
39:09
Speaker 1: to my husband, and in that submission, I know that
39:15
Speaker 1: I just don't grab my person, just be like, okay,
39:18
Speaker 1: I'm out. I'll be bad. I don't do that, even
39:21
Speaker 1: if I'm just going to the store. Hey, I'm going
39:24
Speaker 1: to the store. You want to ride to the store
39:26
Speaker 1: with me? Or you know I need to run over here?
39:28
Speaker 1: Would you like to go or what have you? And
39:31
Speaker 1: maybe that's because I don't have no friends. I always
39:33
Speaker 1: include I always include him because I don't really have
39:41
Speaker 1: people that like to hang with me for some reason.
39:44
Speaker 1: I got one. Now we'll ride, we ride out, and
39:48
Speaker 1: I'm waiting on our date, you know. But there, I
39:54
Speaker 1: just don't have that. I don't and I'm not ashamed
39:58
Speaker 1: to say that I don't have it because I know
40:00
Speaker 1: that I'm peculiar, I know that I'm different. I know
40:04
Speaker 1: it takes a special one because I've had many I've
40:09
Speaker 1: had many associates. I've had many people to say, you know,
40:14
Speaker 1: they know me, they know my looks, they know my ways,
40:18
Speaker 1: they know my actions. I'm not one for a whole
40:21
Speaker 1: lot of foolishness and befoolery. I'm I'm not one for that.
40:24
Speaker 1: And I like to go. I like to laugh. I
40:26
Speaker 1: like to have a good time. And when me and
40:27
Speaker 1: my one get together, we can sit and laugh and
40:30
Speaker 1: drink coffee for hours because that's just who we are
40:35
Speaker 1: and how we're connected. But the thing about it is
40:38
Speaker 1: even in that when I do ministry events, God has
40:43
Speaker 1: given me the mandate to do a ministry event, But
40:48
Speaker 1: if it is leaving outside of the city limits, I'm
40:53
Speaker 1: asking is it okay? Is it okay? Because he may say, well,
40:59
Speaker 1: you know it is, But I want to ride with you.
41:02
Speaker 1: I need to go with you because I'm his. I
41:09
Speaker 1: am his. This body belongs to him. And so that's
41:15
Speaker 1: when we realize that we are one. We are one.
41:20
Speaker 1: When we took our vows standing before Man and God,
41:24
Speaker 1: we were no longer two individuals. We became one. And
41:29
Speaker 1: so therefore we walked together in unity as one, not
41:34
Speaker 1: leaving a foothold for the devil.
41:36
Speaker 2: And while she's saying that her body belongs to me,
41:41
Speaker 2: mine belongs to her. See, that's what happened when you
41:45
Speaker 2: become one. So I have to say that and put
41:48
Speaker 2: that out there because some people be like, oh, it's
41:50
Speaker 2: like no, no, no, we belong to one another, right,
41:53
Speaker 2: you know, it's just that simple. I appreciate that.
41:59
Speaker 1: And that's the truth, because you know, sometimes people take
42:01
Speaker 1: things out of context. But one thing that that you're
42:05
Speaker 1: going to get here, you're gonna get it uncut and
42:10
Speaker 1: you're gonna get it raw, and so that's that's just it.
42:15
Speaker 1: And and we're gonna we're gonna give you scripture as well,
42:19
Speaker 1: so you know, this is this is how we live.
42:22
Speaker 1: And we're not saying that that our way is the
42:26
Speaker 1: only way or nobody else has a better way, or
42:30
Speaker 1: you know, this is the this is the downright way
42:34
Speaker 1: that you got to go. No, you you govern yourself
42:37
Speaker 1: and your marriage as you govern yourself. But as for
42:40
Speaker 1: me and my house, this is how we govern ourselves.
42:44
Speaker 1: This is how we have been able to maintain a marriage.
42:49
Speaker 1: This is how we have been able to walk together
42:52
Speaker 1: and not allow the wedges that have been driven to
42:57
Speaker 1: even affect us. We can walk through so stuff, and
43:00
Speaker 1: we have walked through some stuff unbothered because we are one,
43:05
Speaker 1: because we know that we are we are. It's it it.
43:11
Speaker 1: I can't be persuaded by my family. He cannot be
43:15
Speaker 1: persuaded by his family. And baby, let me tell you.
43:18
Speaker 1: Both of them have tried. Both of them have tried
43:21
Speaker 1: and still tried. But one thing about it.
43:24
Speaker 4: When you know that your convictions are true, and you
43:27
Speaker 4: know who.
43:28
Speaker 1: You are, and you know that this is my marriage,
43:33
Speaker 1: and when I took my vowels, I took my vowels
43:35
Speaker 1: very seriously, and I stand on them, and so there
43:40
Speaker 1: is no dishonor. I remember I was working and in
43:45
Speaker 1: my former position, I used to have to talk to
43:48
Speaker 1: different individuals all throughout the state on a daily basis,
43:53
Speaker 1: and there was this one particular individual. I would have
43:56
Speaker 1: to talk to them because I was over their region,
44:00
Speaker 1: and I would talk to them on the phone. And
44:02
Speaker 1: every time they would call my office. This is my
44:06
Speaker 1: office now. Every time they would call my office phone,
44:09
Speaker 1: when I answer the phone, they start singing, you are
44:12
Speaker 1: so beautiful. And I used to laugh and I used
44:16
Speaker 1: to blush, and I was just like, I was so giddy,
44:19
Speaker 1: like a little girl. And it would be so funny
44:22
Speaker 1: because I would actually put them on speaker. Every time
44:25
Speaker 1: I would see their name come on the caller ID
44:28
Speaker 1: in my office, I would put them on speaker. So
44:31
Speaker 1: my partners would come over and they would be laughing.
44:33
Speaker 1: We'd just be giggling and everything. And so this individual
44:40
Speaker 1: was down in the southern part of Florida, came up
44:43
Speaker 1: for a training, asked me to go to lunch. I said, no,
44:45
Speaker 1: I cannot go to lunch with you because I am married.
44:48
Speaker 1: And they said, so what, I'm married? Also, I said, well,
44:51
Speaker 1: I don't do that. I don't do that. So if
44:55
Speaker 1: that passed on phone kept ringing every time I answer,
45:00
Speaker 1: you are so beautiful. And it was so funny because
45:03
Speaker 1: at one point, you know, I started digging this and
45:06
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, he ain't he called today, I ain't
45:10
Speaker 1: getting nobody. I didn't get the phone call, no singing,
45:13
Speaker 1: no nothing. You mean I ain't beautiful today? You know,
45:15
Speaker 1: I'm tripping.
45:17
Speaker 2: I'm dripping.
45:18
Speaker 1: And then the Holy Spirit checked me and I came
45:22
Speaker 1: home and I was in tears, and I confessed. I said,
45:26
Speaker 1: you know, I said, every day I have one of
45:29
Speaker 1: the officers in my region that caused me and sings
45:33
Speaker 1: to me. And he's singing, you are so beautiful, and
45:37
Speaker 1: I like, take it. I mean, I'm in tears. I'm
45:41
Speaker 1: just balling, and Lila, I said, man, what are you
45:47
Speaker 1: crying for? I said, because I liked it? And he
45:51
Speaker 1: laughed at me. And I'm getting mad at him because
45:54
Speaker 1: I'm like, why are you laughing. It's not funny. It's
45:58
Speaker 1: not funny. I should like that, And he said, why not?
46:02
Speaker 1: You are beautiful. And then the thing about it, the
46:05
Speaker 1: light bulb comes on. I've never seen this man a
46:07
Speaker 1: day in my life. He was looking at a staff
46:10
Speaker 1: look up picture. He has never laid eyes on me,
46:13
Speaker 1: so he don't know whether I'm pretty ugly. I might
46:16
Speaker 1: have just been having a good day the day that.
46:18
Speaker 2: I took a day listen this is the deal right here.
46:24
Speaker 2: I laugh because I know who I am, I know
46:28
Speaker 2: who she is. Those type things don't bother me. If
46:31
Speaker 2: a man is not looking, then you know, I might
46:33
Speaker 2: have to wonder what I got. But here's the thing,
46:37
Speaker 2: I look deeper than that, for the simple fact that
46:41
Speaker 2: I tell you. I'm telling you all just a little
46:45
Speaker 2: crack as all the devil needs to get in. I
46:49
Speaker 2: preach this one time subtle. Then suddenly that's how the
46:56
Speaker 2: devil operates. He comes so subtle you don't even see it,
47:00
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden you all are in it,
47:03
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh my god, how did I get here?
47:06
Speaker 2: You let the door be open, because if you were
47:09
Speaker 2: looking at some situations, and I'm sure you know what
47:12
Speaker 2: I'm talking about, and you start singing that song to
47:15
Speaker 2: some other individual, that would be called what harass man?
47:20
Speaker 2: You lose your job, you lose your position. So the
47:23
Speaker 2: devil comes at you all the way around the table.
47:28
Speaker 2: Know that you're beautiful. Your husband ought to tell you
47:30
Speaker 2: regularly if he marriage, and you should tell him too,
47:34
Speaker 2: because here's the thing. Women are subtle and slick and sneaky,
47:38
Speaker 2: and men are slicking at the cannon off because just
47:42
Speaker 2: like you got eyes, they got eyes. I can look
47:44
Speaker 2: at you and tell that, oh he ain't patting her,
47:46
Speaker 2: rubbing on her nowhere else. You're heart as a break.
47:48
Speaker 2: Look he walking, he got a frown on his face
47:52
Speaker 2: because something ain't happening a woman looking. When you're a
47:54
Speaker 2: real man, a real woman, you know you old enough
47:57
Speaker 2: to know something ain't right. So you just keep throwing
47:59
Speaker 2: a little more. To keep throwing some more. I guess
48:01
Speaker 2: what afterwhile, you're gonna get a bite because you're gonna
48:04
Speaker 2: catch it just right. Okay, she looking mad and she
48:08
Speaker 2: hadn't been to luncheon forever. You don't have to say
48:10
Speaker 2: a word. You walk by and you done heard what
48:13
Speaker 2: she like? You drop a treatment?
48:14
Speaker 5: Well?
48:15
Speaker 2: Why he did that? But you know what, you're hungry
48:17
Speaker 2: and it was good, and that's what I like. You
48:21
Speaker 2: just got had by chick for la chie Because after
48:25
Speaker 2: a while, I ain't gonna bring you no chick fil ake.
48:27
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna buy a twenty dollars? Why you keep
48:30
Speaker 2: doing that? Aren't you hungry?
48:33
Speaker 4: Right?
48:34
Speaker 1: Don't you want to? Ay?
48:36
Speaker 2: Did your husband bring it? I mean I hain't. I mean, look,
48:38
Speaker 2: you ain't gotta take it? Well, well, okay, well get
48:42
Speaker 2: your food. Then I'm gonna walk off because sooner or
48:44
Speaker 2: later you're gonna be just like that. I ain't get
48:47
Speaker 2: no call. We have to see that the devil is
48:51
Speaker 2: subtle and suddenly things are all wrong. See when you
48:56
Speaker 2: don't know who you are, and then it's a problem.
48:59
Speaker 2: But you have to watch yourself when you're in ministry.
49:02
Speaker 2: You know, you have to be extra careful. I don't
49:06
Speaker 2: see where I don't mind having friends, but you know what,
49:10
Speaker 2: when we're going out and we're hanging out and stuff
49:12
Speaker 2: like that, it's gonna be with another couple. It's not
49:14
Speaker 2: gonna be me and my wife and me and my homeboy.
49:16
Speaker 2: I me and my wife and her rod girl. You
49:19
Speaker 2: don't give the devil an opportunity to come in in
49:23
Speaker 2: any form. Now we've been friends forever the day. That's fine,
49:27
Speaker 2: But see, sometimes you ought to have common sense. You
49:29
Speaker 2: and your friends. Why I'm hanging out with them because
49:32
Speaker 2: you know I live this way and they lived that way.
49:35
Speaker 2: If we truly friends, we still gonna be friends. But
49:38
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna go buy your house or hang out
49:40
Speaker 2: with you when I know your.
49:41
Speaker 1: Wife home right, And that's so important, you know, and
49:44
Speaker 1: that's the thing. You know. I share that testimony in
49:49
Speaker 1: one of my conferences before, and somebody asked me, well,
49:54
Speaker 1: why did you tell him? Because had I not told him,
49:57
Speaker 1: the devil would have had a foothold. He would have
50:00
Speaker 1: had that little crack. Because every time that I would
50:04
Speaker 1: have thought about it, you know, I'm like, whoa, you.
50:06
Speaker 4: Know that's a secret. We don't keep secrets.
50:09
Speaker 1: So we have to learn how to break the cycle
50:13
Speaker 1: of secrets. Because the thing is, it was needed. I
50:18
Speaker 1: needed to say that, I needed to tell him. I
50:21
Speaker 1: needed to allow the enemy to know that you don't
50:24
Speaker 1: have a foothold here, so there are no secrets. So yeah,
50:29
Speaker 1: this is the thing that we have to understand. We
50:32
Speaker 1: have to break the silence. We have to break that
50:34
Speaker 1: cycle of secrets. We can't carry secrets because secrets in
50:39
Speaker 1: secrets will end up causing you to do things that
50:43
Speaker 1: will bring somebody else into your marriage and cause detriment.
50:48
Speaker 1: Whether it's a man, whether it's a woman, whether it's
50:52
Speaker 1: your family, whether it's a friend, it does not matter.
50:56
Speaker 1: You cannot keep secrets because when you keep seeking secrets
51:01
Speaker 1: bring about all types of division and dissension and can
51:06
Speaker 1: ultimately cause you to end up being single with your secrets, because.
51:13
Speaker 2: One thing about it, when you keep secrets, some reason
51:16
Speaker 2: or another, it always finds a way to get out.
51:20
Speaker 2: And some people are very vindictive. I've been calling you
51:23
Speaker 2: and you en listening all this time, so I know
51:26
Speaker 2: that it's got to be something, And just so happened.
51:30
Speaker 2: I come to the job that they out the blue
51:32
Speaker 2: and you up here in the staff meeting and they
51:34
Speaker 2: looking at you making google out. But who is this?
51:36
Speaker 2: I've been talking to you every day. You never told
51:38
Speaker 2: me you were marriage. You never asked. And then when
51:42
Speaker 2: you get on, well who was that? What was that
51:45
Speaker 2: all about? Come on, man, we look at we passed
51:48
Speaker 2: twelve and we're over twenty one. Yes, be grown.
51:51
Speaker 1: That's it.
51:52
Speaker 2: Be grown, that's it.
51:54
Speaker 1: And we have to we have to maintain our position
52:00
Speaker 1: in our marriage, and most of all.
52:03
Speaker 4: We have to know how to do marriage.
52:06
Speaker 2: Edition one plus one equals one and us.
52:11
Speaker 1: That's it.
52:12
Speaker 2: You and I trust you, and I trust you.
52:18
Speaker 1: We want to thank you guys for joining us tonight
52:21
Speaker 1: for another edition of Let the Healing Begin. We appreciate
52:26
Speaker 1: you for stopping by tonight, and we hope that it
52:30
Speaker 1: was something that we said tonight that would help you
52:33
Speaker 1: in your journey in this life. Call marriage. Join us
52:38
Speaker 1: again on the third Sunday night. We will be back
52:41
Speaker 1: here for it. Remember one plus one equals one.
52:46
Speaker 5: Let the healing begin. See you guys.
53:11
Speaker 2: Here in this place we humbly bound our hearts a way.
53:17
Speaker 1: Speak to us now. There is no time here, only