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Malta: Tiny and Amazing, Just Like The Dog · Ridiculous History

0:00
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Histories, a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to the show,
0:28
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always so much for tuning in.
0:32
Speaker 1: Let's hear it from the man the myth Legend, mister
0:33
Speaker 1: Max Williams. Hello, Hello, Hello, sir, I am Ben Bullen.
0:39
Speaker 1: That's mister Noel Brown here as well. It is time, gentlemen,
0:44
Speaker 1: for us to explore once again micro nations or micro states.
0:51
Speaker 1: Noel off Air, Max and I were talking a bit
0:54
Speaker 1: about this concept. I have an old professor who's been
0:58
Speaker 1: off the grid for some time who wrote to me
1:02
Speaker 1: and said hey, and I hadn't heard from for years.
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Speaker 1: He said, Hey, there's a difference between a micro nation
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Speaker 1: and a micro state.
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Speaker 2: What's the difference.
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Speaker 1: The difference is international recognition. So a micro state is
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Speaker 1: recognized by other countries and international bodies. A micro nation
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Speaker 1: may not have the same international credibility, so that's a difference.
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Speaker 2: Got it, Got it? Well, you know I mentioned off
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Speaker 2: Air as well. In the original, well not the original,
1:41
Speaker 2: but the first Tim Burton Batman movie, there's a scene
1:45
Speaker 2: where Vicky Vale is at a party at Bruce Wayne's house,
1:48
Speaker 2: walking around with her buddy from the newspaper looking at
1:52
Speaker 2: his like Bruce Wayne's collection of artifacts from around the world,
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Speaker 2: and there's like this, you know, kind of tribal outfit
2:00
Speaker 2: that's on display, and he says something about the wicker Man,
2:04
Speaker 2: and then Bruce Wayne shows up and says, yeah, I
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Speaker 2: like it. I bought it, and he points out to
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Speaker 2: Vicky Vale that he enjoyed her photojournalism from the Quarto Maltese.
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Speaker 2: And for the longest time I thought this had something
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Speaker 2: to do with the micro nation of Malta, but in fact,
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Speaker 2: upon a curstory Google, the Quarto Maltese is a fictional
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Speaker 2: South American country that exists exclusively within the DC Extended Universe,
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Speaker 2: so no connection at all. But that word Maltese is
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Speaker 2: what's used to describe things relating to the culture of Malta.
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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, exactly. That's our exploration today. We are talking
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Speaker 1: about Malta. This is also an episode for our pal
2:52
Speaker 1: Josh Clark, who a few years ago travel to Malta
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Speaker 1: the country and from everything he told me, just had
3:02
Speaker 1: a wonderful, wonderful time. We're going to learn some more
3:05
Speaker 1: about this because it's a very old place. It has
3:10
Speaker 1: some of the oldest megalithic sites in the world. This
3:14
Speaker 1: is from the CIA World Factbook, which we have a
3:18
Speaker 1: copy of here. I'm doing prop comedy now and of it.
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Speaker 2: So it's coming back. It's coming back in a big way.
3:26
Speaker 1: Shout out, care top find him in Vegas. So Malta's islands,
3:32
Speaker 1: because of their location, they've always been a strategic military possession.
3:38
Speaker 1: They've been under the control of various civilizations throughout human history. Phoenicians, Greeks, Carthaginians, Romans, Byzantines,
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Speaker 1: the Normans, Sicilians, various specific orders of chivalry, the Knights
3:54
Speaker 1: of Saint John, and most recently they've been a British colony.
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Speaker 1: But they gained their independence in nineteen sixty four and
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Speaker 1: in nineteen seventy four they declared themselves a republic. So
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Speaker 1: while it has ancient history, the modern version is relatively new.
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Speaker 1: I don't know, you know. Let's say we get into
4:19
Speaker 1: the we get into the nuts and bolts of Malta's
4:23
Speaker 1: origin story with some help from our research associate, mister
4:28
Speaker 1: Max Williams Oh.
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Speaker 2: Mister Max. Malta, which exists south of Sicily, north of
4:41
Speaker 2: Tripoli and Libya, has been around for, as you said, Ben,
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Speaker 2: quite some time. How do we know this well. It
4:49
Speaker 2: has some of the most extensive World Heritage sites known.
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Speaker 2: According to our pals over at Britannica, the earliest archaeological
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Speaker 2: remains in malt said date back from about five thousand BCE.
5:04
Speaker 2: Neolithic farmers lived in caves a lot like those at
5:08
Speaker 2: the Agar Delam near Birzobuga, or villages like Scorba, which
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Speaker 2: is near Zebiegi. They are wonderful words that I'm probably
5:18
Speaker 2: butchering the pronunciations I've been doing my very best. They
5:20
Speaker 2: sound weirdly scientological. We've cut Zebug and Zemziza and yeah,
5:29
Speaker 2: fun fun stuff to try to say. But they produced
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Speaker 2: pottery similar to that of contemporary Eastern Sicily. A very
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Speaker 2: elaborate religious order, dare we say a cult of the
5:43
Speaker 2: dead worshiping of ancestors evolved around four thousand BCE. Initially
5:49
Speaker 2: we saw some rock cut tombs that culminated in the
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Speaker 2: unique underground burial chambers at Hal softly Any in power
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Speaker 2: oh La, known locally as Rahal Jadid very batmany like
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Speaker 2: racial ghoul kind of vibes, which was designated by UNESCO
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Speaker 2: as a World Heritage Site in nineteen eighty.
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Speaker 1: M Yeah, we know this culture. This ancient culture you
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Speaker 1: just described came to a sudden screeching halt max if
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Speaker 1: we could get a screeching halt perfect. Around two thousand
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Speaker 1: BCE it was replaced with what we call the Tarxian
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Speaker 1: cemetery culture. We know about this civilization because they practice
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Speaker 1: certain burial rights and they used metal. The best guess
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Speaker 1: the historians have today is an interloper showed up to
6:47
Speaker 1: someone changed the way the culture went. And that makes
6:51
Speaker 1: sense because if you're looking at the ancient world as
6:55
Speaker 1: you describe, bit north of Libya, bit south of Sicily,
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Speaker 1: right there at the crossroads between the African and European continents,
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Speaker 1: Malta is a liminal space for a lot of communities
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Speaker 1: and cultures, and around the eighth and sixth centuries BCE
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Speaker 1: it had involvement with the Phoenicians, Carthaginians, you know, trade war,
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Speaker 1: the Classics, all the good slow jazz. We don't know
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Speaker 1: to what degree these things had a lasting impact on
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Speaker 1: what we will call Malta today because the Romans came in.
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Speaker 2: Oh as they do, they tend to sweep in and
7:35
Speaker 2: also change things as they do in their image. During
7:39
Speaker 2: the first two centuries of Roman occupation. These islands were
7:44
Speaker 2: allowed to mint their own currency, also send their own
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Speaker 2: delegates to Rome, and have some nominal control of their
7:53
Speaker 2: own domestic politics policies. They're domestic affairs. They were given
8:00
Speaker 2: the status of what's called a Roman municipium, which I
8:04
Speaker 2: suppose is equivalent to what we consider a municipality today.
8:08
Speaker 2: Saint Paul the Apostle actually got shipwrecked in Malta in
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Speaker 2: sixty CE, and he's believed to have converted the local
8:17
Speaker 2: folks to Christianity. There were these collectives that practiced this
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Speaker 2: underground burial that dated back to the fourth end to
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Speaker 2: the eighth century CE, that represented some of the first
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Speaker 2: archaeological evidence of this Christian belief flourishing there in Malta.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and as we know spoiler alert, the Roman Empire
8:43
Speaker 1: didn't last forever. It's current iteration.
8:46
Speaker 2: I was really betting on them just being around.
8:49
Speaker 1: All right, we'll call the bookie, see if you can
8:51
Speaker 1: change it. Yeah, that's possible, get locked in. And we said.
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Speaker 1: There was this long chain of different controlling cultures over
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Speaker 1: the geographical space of Malta, which is to date, by
9:03
Speaker 1: the way, the smallest country officially in the European Union.
9:07
Speaker 1: But in fifteen thirty there was still a vestige of
9:12
Speaker 1: the Roman Empire of old, the Holy Roman Empire. The
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Speaker 1: emperor thereof Charles the fifth seated Malta and gave it
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Speaker 1: over to an order of knights in Order of Chivalry,
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Speaker 1: the Knights of Rhodes. And they were, you know, they
9:30
Speaker 1: were high muckety MUCKs with the Roman Catholic Church, and
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Speaker 1: they turned Malta into a fortress.
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Speaker 3: And you just jump in here. These Knights of Roads
9:39
Speaker 3: were looking for a new place to live because they
9:41
Speaker 3: were not in Roads anymore.
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Speaker 1: Yes, they had gotten the boot from Rhodes in Greece
9:47
Speaker 1: at some point.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I believe the Colossus of Rhodes is a
9:50
Speaker 2: statue there in Greece erected in honor of the sun
9:54
Speaker 2: god Helos. Yeah.
9:57
Speaker 1: And they were right to build this fortress because the
10:02
Speaker 1: Ottoman Empire was a big thing. And in fifteen sixty
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Speaker 1: five the Ottomans, which we'll talk about in a future episode.
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Speaker 1: The Ottomans attempted to take the fortress and land against
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Speaker 1: strategically valuable land of Malta, but they got fought off.
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Speaker 1: The Knights of Rhodes withstood the siege. This founded a
10:27
Speaker 1: pattern because just ten years later the capital city, Valletta,
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Speaker 1: which was named after the grand Master of the Knights Roads,
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Speaker 1: it became a town of It became a town that
10:40
Speaker 1: was super nice once you got past the walls, but
10:43
Speaker 1: it was very much a gated community.
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Speaker 3: We could call it just to jump in here and
10:48
Speaker 3: be a little silly. We were talking about Civilization six
10:51
Speaker 3: before the recording. Today, because I'm always some video games,
10:54
Speaker 3: Valletta is my favorite city state to be suzerain of.
10:58
Speaker 3: I will say that right now.
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Speaker 1: I don't like this the city states. I feel like
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Speaker 1: they overly complicate the game.
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Speaker 3: They can, it's sometimes it's just like you know, also,
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Speaker 3: especially we're playing against ais as, easy to win them all.
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Speaker 3: But like the cool thing they do in SIV six
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Speaker 3: is each city state that you are Susan enough, you
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Speaker 3: get a special ability, and Valletta's you can buy stuff
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Speaker 3: in your city center and encampments with religion, which is like, okay,
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Speaker 3: that's a that's elite.
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Speaker 1: And it depends upon the predisposition of the city states,
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Speaker 1: right some want you to have science, some want you
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Speaker 1: to have more city states, creating a feedback loop, et cetera,
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Speaker 1: et cetera, and it's based on real world situations, just
11:39
Speaker 1: like what we're describing with Malta. Because these knights are
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Speaker 1: kind of this happened.
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Speaker 2: A lot in Europe.
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Speaker 1: They were aristocratic at this point. They considered themselves above
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Speaker 1: the common people, and they didn't have a lot of
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Speaker 1: social contact with the actual residents of Malta who had
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Speaker 1: been living there for centuries and centuries, or their families
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Speaker 1: had they lived and died like normal people.
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Speaker 2: Became quite a resplendent place, didn't it. The capital city
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Speaker 2: of Valletta, with magnificent palaces right and opulence on display
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Speaker 2: all around.
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Speaker 1: And the knights did leave despite their elitist nature, they
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Speaker 1: did leave the island this tremendous architectural, artistic legacy. If
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Speaker 1: we fast forward, we see that people still recognize the
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Speaker 1: geopolitical importance of Malta. In seventeen ninety eight, there's a
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Speaker 1: guy in the French army. His name is Napoleon Bonaparte.
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Speaker 1: He is perhaps most famous for being kind of a
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Speaker 1: pill about ice cream in the documentary adventures Bill and
12:57
Speaker 1: Ted's Excellent Adventures. Anyway, this guy seventeen ninety eight, he
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Speaker 1: captures the island of Malta, but he's not able to
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Speaker 1: hold it for a long time. Just a few years later,
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Speaker 1: the middle of eighteen hundred or so, British troops are
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Speaker 1: called in to assist the Maltese people, who say, why
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Speaker 1: is this French guy in charge of us? The French
13:21
Speaker 1: hold out for three months. They eventually surrender the islands
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Speaker 1: and it's not until I mean, the British don't hold
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Speaker 1: it that long either. The Treaty of Amends returns the
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Speaker 1: island to the Knights of Rhodes in eighteen oh two.
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Speaker 1: The Maltese say, look, treaties aside. We want to be
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Speaker 1: our own government. We are the Maltese, we have lived here.
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Speaker 1: Get rid of these rich people that you said are
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Speaker 1: in charge of us. And then Britain said.
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Speaker 2: No, that's right. And Malta's political system under the Bridge
13:57
Speaker 2: went through some significant evolution let's call them. They were
14:01
Speaker 2: granted constitutions which were then suspended and or revoked, and
14:07
Speaker 2: they were the victims of some significant exploitation at the
14:11
Speaker 2: hands of the Brits. That doesn't sound right. The Brits
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Speaker 2: wouldn't do that, would they.
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Speaker 1: Have you ever been to a town in the United
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Speaker 1: States where the primary employer is a military base, I
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Speaker 1: sure have. That's what happened to Malta. That was the
14:25
Speaker 1: same thing. The economy became dependent upon the British dockyard.
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Speaker 1: The British run military facilities on the island, where the
14:38
Speaker 1: spine of the local the local job sources. Basically, it's
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Speaker 1: similar again to when a military base opens in a
14:48
Speaker 1: small town here in the US or in any number
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Speaker 1: of other countries, if we're being honest. Malta has this
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Speaker 1: huge impact in various conflicts across the span of European history,
15:02
Speaker 1: the Crimean War, the First World War. We also see
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Speaker 1: that when the Suez Canal opens in eighteen sixty nine,
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Speaker 1: they get into commerce in a big way because Malta
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Speaker 1: becomes an easy shipping point or transit point, a hub
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Speaker 1: for trade. Then, and we shall also say Malta is
15:26
Speaker 1: technically an archipelago, it's a collection of island, it's not
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Speaker 1: a single island. Then it becomes a huge deal in
15:33
Speaker 1: World War Two. It's still a British colony at this point,
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Speaker 1: and so the British are using it as a foothold
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Speaker 1: in the Mediterranean. And Hitler is super peeved about that.
15:46
Speaker 1: Adolf Hitler, Oh yeah, guys, They're just a specify, real alarmists,
15:51
Speaker 1: real reactionary type of cat hot take. And I've said
15:55
Speaker 1: this on other shows. I don't think he was a
15:57
Speaker 1: good dude.
15:58
Speaker 2: Not a good guy. No man. Hitler showed absolutely no
16:04
Speaker 2: quota to Malta, and it was. It became one of
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Speaker 2: the most intensely bombed places in the entire war, more
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Speaker 2: than some much larger and more maybe militarily significant cities
16:19
Speaker 2: like Coventry. Coventry got its own blitz Blitz named after it.
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Speaker 1: Right, Yes, this episode brought to you by the Tourism
16:33
Speaker 1: Board of Coventry.
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Speaker 4: We still exist post blitz.
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Speaker 1: Post blitz Coventry. The population of Malta at this point
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Speaker 1: it's only about two hundred and seventy thousand people, which
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Speaker 1: is a lot of people for a concert, but not
16:53
Speaker 1: a lot of people for a country. And Malta also
16:57
Speaker 1: hosts a bunch of airfields, or multiple airfields, and it's
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Speaker 1: the only British harbor between Gibraltar and Egypt. It also
17:09
Speaker 1: helps become a place to disrupt the supply convoys of
17:13
Speaker 1: the Axis powers, who at this time are still trying
17:16
Speaker 1: to bring Northern Africa into their sphere of influence. I'm
17:21
Speaker 1: thinking about Ethiopia and Italy for instance, and of course
17:26
Speaker 1: several notable historical figures involved in that. The first attack
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Speaker 1: that Malta hits is June eleventh, nineteen forty and if
17:38
Speaker 1: you fast forward a year nineteen forty one, the German
17:42
Speaker 1: Luftwaffe arrive in Sicily and the attacks turn up to eleven.
17:48
Speaker 1: Just like that amp on a spinal tap.
17:51
Speaker 2: It's one louder, it's one louder.
17:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
17:55
Speaker 2: Then during nineteen forty one and forty two we have
17:58
Speaker 2: more than three thousand air raids going down. In the
18:01
Speaker 2: first six months of forty two there was only a
18:03
Speaker 2: single twenty four hour period sans air raids. The folks
18:09
Speaker 2: living there were forced to once again go underground, kind
18:13
Speaker 2: of joining the legacy of their predecessors.
18:16
Speaker 1: Right like that ben Folds five song Brick Underground Ground.
18:24
Speaker 2: There's no brick drowning slowly. What does that even mean?
18:28
Speaker 2: Ben Folds five is a pretty great music. Oh yeah, no,
18:31
Speaker 2: we're very great, bad, fabulous musician. Dear friend of the
18:35
Speaker 2: show and friend personally both of us. Jordan Runta has
18:39
Speaker 2: a key from one of ben folds pianos framed on
18:44
Speaker 2: his wall in his apartment.
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Speaker 1: Congratulations, Jordan, we should have him on the show too.
18:49
Speaker 1: He's got some great ideas, great pitches, Jordan. That is
18:54
Speaker 1: not necessarily Ben Folds. But Ben, if you're listening, come
18:57
Speaker 1: on down. You know what I mean. We're basically the
19:00
Speaker 1: post s Blitz Coventry of podcasts.
19:03
Speaker 2: In the.
19:06
Speaker 1: Case of this subterranean survival, we see that it was necessary,
19:13
Speaker 1: but it led to a very high blood price. A
19:17
Speaker 1: lot of people had health problems. Being squeezed into this
19:21
Speaker 1: environment without proper hygiene led to an epidemic of typhoid.
19:26
Speaker 1: One thousand, four hundred and ninety three civilians died. North
19:31
Speaker 1: of three thousand people were wounded. Children had at the worst,
19:36
Speaker 1: probably the elderly as well. That's how war works the
19:39
Speaker 1: most vulnerable in the population. Thankfully, German military turns out
19:44
Speaker 1: not super great at a lot of things, and thank
19:46
Speaker 1: goodness for that. They also underestimated how difficult it would
19:53
Speaker 1: be to acquire and control Malta. They thought they had
19:57
Speaker 1: the people whooped and they moved move their aircraft. Because
20:01
Speaker 1: they were already in a dwindling resource space. They moved
20:05
Speaker 1: their aircraft to other initiatives and this gave the British
20:10
Speaker 1: military the window that they needed to bring new planes
20:15
Speaker 1: to Malta to defend this location and also to resupply
20:20
Speaker 1: the people and their own military. So raids, decrease defenses,
20:26
Speaker 1: improve A convoy travels from Alexandria Egypt and they bring
20:32
Speaker 1: food to the people of Malta who were riddled with typhoid.
20:36
Speaker 1: You know, many are starving or in what we would
20:39
Speaker 1: call a food insecurity situation. If those planes, those supplies
20:45
Speaker 1: and that sustenance had not arrived, Malta probably would have
20:49
Speaker 1: gone to the Germans and the Lufwaffa would have controlled it.
20:54
Speaker 1: German supply lines would have moved in, and the future
20:57
Speaker 1: of North Africa in World War two would have been
21:00
Speaker 1: markedly different.
21:02
Speaker 2: Can I just say that the phrase and bombs fell
21:05
Speaker 2: on Malta seems like a great name for like a
21:08
Speaker 2: heavy emo band.
21:10
Speaker 1: Or like a Phoenix song.
21:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Like, oh going do I'm want to see
21:14
Speaker 2: Phoenix a couple of days. I'm so excited in Spain
21:18
Speaker 2: they're playing the first night or the first to opening
21:20
Speaker 2: day of prima Vera Sound and they're one of my
21:22
Speaker 2: favorite bands in the whole wide world. So the Luftwaffa
21:25
Speaker 2: did realize they had aired and unfortunately for the Germans,
21:29
Speaker 2: fortunately for Malta, Malta caught a reup on their supplies
21:34
Speaker 2: and along with Allied victories in North Africa, Malta did
21:39
Speaker 2: not fall and according to ciay dot gov, the people
21:44
Speaker 2: of Malta had just a quote. People of Malta had
21:46
Speaker 2: shown extreme bravery in the face of severe threat and hardship.
21:49
Speaker 2: To acknowledge such bravery, King George the sixth made a
21:53
Speaker 2: gesture unique in history. On fifteen April nineteen forty two,
21:58
Speaker 2: he awarded the George Craws to the Maltese nation, an
22:02
Speaker 2: honor still born by the Maltese, on their flag. It's
22:06
Speaker 2: a big, big deal.
22:07
Speaker 1: It makes sense for the vexillologists in the crowd that
22:10
Speaker 1: they would have this on their flag. The George Cross
22:14
Speaker 1: is the highest award the British government can give to
22:19
Speaker 1: anyone for bravery, not in the direct presence of an enemy.
22:25
Speaker 1: They call it gallantry. So they said, Malta, you are
22:29
Speaker 1: a gallant people, and they said we're fixing up the.
22:32
Speaker 2: Flag well again, once again in line with their history
22:37
Speaker 2: of chivalry, right and nightly orders.
22:41
Speaker 1: After World War Two, Malta, which is still a British colony.
22:45
Speaker 1: While all this is going down, they start getting a
22:49
Speaker 1: dare I say, American yearning for independence and autonomy. It's
22:54
Speaker 1: nineteen forty seven where they get again like our vicissitudes,
22:59
Speaker 1: we're talking about our changeable, ephemeral status here. Malta becomes
23:05
Speaker 1: a self governing body in forty seven, but that gets
23:09
Speaker 1: revoked in nineteen fifty nine. Just three years later, they
23:13
Speaker 1: get self government governance again in nineteen sixty two. It's
23:17
Speaker 1: not until September of nineteen sixty four, September twenty first
23:22
Speaker 1: that Malta becomes independent. It becomes a member of the Commonwealth,
23:28
Speaker 1: and then it becomes a member of the Council of Europe.
23:31
Speaker 1: It's not until like nineteen seventy nine that Britain or
23:35
Speaker 1: the United Kingdom fully removes all of their forces. They're
23:40
Speaker 1: finally they're getting out of Malta and they close down
23:44
Speaker 1: their base. The Maltese government marks this as their genuine
23:49
Speaker 1: independence after thousands of years, to be clear, and they
23:54
Speaker 1: become a republic on December thirteenth, nineteen seventy four. In
23:58
Speaker 1: case who want to call off work, folks just say like,
24:01
Speaker 1: I can't come in today. It's Maltese Independence Day, and
24:05
Speaker 1: you can pick like two or three of those dates.
24:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one will call you on that. No one
24:09
Speaker 2: will check you on that. They don't know about your
24:10
Speaker 2: heritage or your history, or your allegiances, you know, or
24:13
Speaker 2: your family crest a bank.
24:15
Speaker 4: Can I have December thirteenth office year?
24:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Multese Independence Day?
24:19
Speaker 2: You guys, you you know if you guys are, of
24:21
Speaker 2: course familiar with the malted confection known as whoppers. Yeah,
24:27
Speaker 2: I'm getting some nods. Okay, we got some? Yeah, you got,
24:31
Speaker 2: you got, you got, you got.
24:31
Speaker 4: Put on favorite candy.
24:33
Speaker 2: It's a good candy, and occasionally you'll get one that's
24:35
Speaker 2: sort of chewy. I like it when you find an
24:37
Speaker 2: occasional chewy one. But there is a whoppers equivalent, you
24:41
Speaker 2: guys know what, They're called Maltesers.
24:44
Speaker 1: Malteser, that's right there in Europe, that's right. Also, Max,
24:48
Speaker 1: your dad's still an absolute madman for cereal, right.
24:52
Speaker 2: Grape nuts? You love grape nuts.
24:54
Speaker 4: Alex is a grape nuts fan too.
24:55
Speaker 1: Which is Alex Williams. Who could post our.
24:58
Speaker 4: Try Alex and my dad are very thick.
25:00
Speaker 1: Did they puts in the cereal?
25:02
Speaker 3: They probably what I mean, yeah, my dad is you
25:04
Speaker 3: know whoppers necho wayfirst candy corn. I think he's just
25:09
Speaker 3: a contrarian. I think my contrarian ism.
25:12
Speaker 2: Do grape nuts even snap? Crackle and or pop?
25:15
Speaker 4: Did you snap your teeth?
25:17
Speaker 2: They just kind of sit there getting softy. This episode
25:20
Speaker 2: brought to you by Coventry and grape nuts.
25:23
Speaker 4: Which we already have a headpiece on. Grape nuts, which
25:25
Speaker 4: we already do.
25:26
Speaker 2: Tis either a grape nor a nut. It's its own thing,
25:29
Speaker 2: grape nuts.
25:31
Speaker 4: They titled it that just to make it sounded go
25:33
Speaker 4: is healthy.
25:34
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, I don't get it.
25:35
Speaker 4: Yeah, listen to our sterial episode.
25:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, please do. Uh this country. If we learn about
25:42
Speaker 1: the geography of Malta, it's always been the same for
25:45
Speaker 1: human civilization, which is still kind of a fad. Malta is,
25:50
Speaker 1: as we mentioned earlier, not a single island. It is
25:54
Speaker 1: instead a chain of islands and archipelago one of my
25:57
Speaker 1: favorite words in this language. Uh. The islands are five.
26:01
Speaker 1: There's Malta the largest one, there's Gozo, Camino, and then
26:06
Speaker 1: there are two you know additional like also rands. They
26:11
Speaker 1: are largely uninhabited or not permanently inhabited by a sizable population.
26:17
Speaker 1: Those are Kiminette or Cominoto and phil Fla fild Fla,
26:23
Speaker 1: which sounds like an Italian word for something you know,
26:28
Speaker 1: for like lint, right, like belly button lint.
26:33
Speaker 2: It also sounds like an Ikea product for like a
26:36
Speaker 2: like a hand towel or something. Yeah, the fild Fla.
26:39
Speaker 2: It's roughly fifty eight miles south of a Sicily and
26:43
Speaker 2: one hundred and eighty miles north of Libya. As we
26:46
Speaker 2: mentioned earlier, Valletta, you know of of Ciev six Fame
26:51
Speaker 2: is the capital and it is located on the northeast
26:55
Speaker 2: coast of Malta. But Malta has a number of even
27:00
Speaker 2: larger cities, like Zibar and previously referred to Zibug with
27:04
Speaker 2: some very interesting accent marks over both the Z and
27:09
Speaker 2: the G. It's like a little dot. I'm not even
27:12
Speaker 2: sure what that one implies in terms of how you're
27:14
Speaker 2: supposed to say the letters.
27:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, those are tricky diacritics. It's also Mediterranean typically the climate,
27:24
Speaker 1: and I guess we should mention those cities are big
27:27
Speaker 1: for Malta, but that's much that's much smaller than your
27:31
Speaker 1: average city in most other countries. Mediterranean climate means the
27:35
Speaker 1: summers are hot and dry, the autumn is or the
27:41
Speaker 1: falls gonna be warm. It's gonna maybe rain in the fall.
27:46
Speaker 1: The winters are pretty short given their location along the
27:50
Speaker 1: equator urban relation to the Equator, the winters are cool,
27:55
Speaker 1: not a ton of snow, but it does have it
27:57
Speaker 1: does rain. It's usually between like the fifth D's in
28:00
Speaker 1: the eighties fahrenheit. For the rest of the world, that's
28:03
Speaker 1: between twelve degrees celsius up to twenty nine degrees celsius.
28:07
Speaker 1: That will change, of course, within your lifetime if you
28:11
Speaker 1: wait a couple of years and you listen to this
28:13
Speaker 1: episode again tell us about the weather in Malta and
28:16
Speaker 1: other geographically vulnerable countries. The population is primarily people who
28:25
Speaker 1: would describe themselves as ethnically Maltese. Their families been there,
28:30
Speaker 1: They've always been there. There will be parts of the
28:34
Speaker 1: population who are descended from Phoenicians, Carthaginians, Italians, other Mediterranean peoples.
28:42
Speaker 1: There are of course, small communities of British nationals, Greeks, Palestinians, Sindes.
28:51
Speaker 1: There has been a growing influx of modern immigration from
28:57
Speaker 1: North Africa. Obviously, it's super close the Balkans and then
29:02
Speaker 1: some sub African countries. Good news if you are an
29:05
Speaker 1: American traveling to Malta. Shout out Josh Clark. Malta has
29:10
Speaker 1: two official languages. The first is Maltese and the second
29:14
Speaker 1: is English, so you can go there in order a whopper.
29:18
Speaker 2: So is there a I mean Maltese? Is there a
29:20
Speaker 2: connection to another language that we're familiar with that might
29:24
Speaker 2: have some analogs or like, I guess I've never even
29:26
Speaker 2: thought of Maltese as its own language.
29:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, it comes from uh Sicilian Arabic.
29:34
Speaker 2: Cool, totally clear. Now, jeez, Louise, I.
29:37
Speaker 1: Feel like you asked one question.
29:39
Speaker 2: I have four more questions a million. I mean, these
29:41
Speaker 2: are all just remixes in the in the Internet of
29:44
Speaker 2: the Game of Telephone, that is language. But I'm sorry
29:47
Speaker 2: Arabic Sicilian, medieval media, gotcha, cat attack.
29:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll keep it in. Doctor Venkman has some opinion.
30:00
Speaker 1: It's on Malta. So we also know that this is
30:12
Speaker 1: a micronation episode. It's a micro state episode. So let's
30:17
Speaker 1: go back to our palace of Britannica. Knowel how big
30:21
Speaker 1: is Malta?
30:23
Speaker 2: Pretty big for a micronation, right, According to Britannica. The
30:27
Speaker 2: total area is one hundred and twenty two square miles,
30:31
Speaker 2: with the population of a little more than half a
30:33
Speaker 2: million souls. Land mass is seven hundred and seventeen point
30:38
Speaker 2: sixty five times bigger than Vatican City. Again we're talking
30:43
Speaker 2: about orders of tiny magnitude. One hundred and fifty two
30:47
Speaker 2: point five times bigger than Monaco, which we know is tiny,
30:50
Speaker 2: five point one times bigger than San Marino, and about
30:54
Speaker 2: twice as big as good old Liechtenstein. So this really
30:59
Speaker 2: is the kind of big brother of micronations, or at
31:02
Speaker 2: least of these. So before you lest you go thinking
31:05
Speaker 2: that this is some sort of massive country, it is
31:07
Speaker 2: in fact fifty nine square miles smaller than Andorra, which
31:11
Speaker 2: was our very first episode in this ongoing series on micronations.
31:17
Speaker 2: And though five hundred and fifty one hundred people call
31:20
Speaker 2: it home, that is not a lot of folks in
31:24
Speaker 2: terms of a total population. Let's see, the total population
31:28
Speaker 2: of the five previous micronations though, comes out to around
31:31
Speaker 2: one hundred and ninety three thousand, five hundred and fifty
31:34
Speaker 2: so it's more than two point five times as many
31:37
Speaker 2: people than all of the previous micronations. But again, compared
31:42
Speaker 2: to the population of a larger country, it's it's pretty
31:47
Speaker 2: pretty dwarfed.
31:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the population for American comparison, of Malta is
31:54
Speaker 1: smaller than Wyoming, which is famously sparsely populated. Far as
32:00
Speaker 1: US states go I was doing. I was looking into
32:03
Speaker 1: this because I remember being surprised at how easy it
32:09
Speaker 1: is to acquire residency in Malta. Interesting costile living is
32:15
Speaker 1: surprisingly affordable. We want to hear about your Maltese adventures,
32:21
Speaker 1: and we thought what better way to end this episode
32:25
Speaker 1: than talking about some other linguistically or thematically related things.
32:33
Speaker 1: I think particular to interest to us as animal lovers is,
32:37
Speaker 1: of course, the Maltese dog breed. So what does that
32:42
Speaker 1: look like? We know it's acknowledged by the American Kennel Club.
32:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, little little lap dog type guys introduced by Malta
32:50
Speaker 2: to the Phoenicians who ruled the Mediterranean before that rise
32:54
Speaker 2: of Greece that we talked about. There are some historical
32:57
Speaker 2: theories as to what les to the breeding of the
33:03
Speaker 2: Maltese dog. Some set the Maltese's birthplace anywhere from Egypt
33:09
Speaker 2: to the Alps, and a lot of the scholarship from
33:14
Speaker 2: Malta sites Terriers, Spaniels and Spitzes as the antecedent of
33:20
Speaker 2: the Maltese.
33:22
Speaker 1: But then a lot of people well, okay, so we're
33:25
Speaker 1: pretty sure the Phoenicians brought the ancestors of the Maltese
33:29
Speaker 1: dog to Malta where it got famous. And you might
33:32
Speaker 1: be surprised to learn that a lot of canine enthusiasts,
33:36
Speaker 1: especially Maltese fancias, will say, no, Malta has its own dog,
33:41
Speaker 1: that's why it's called the Maltese. And a lot of
33:44
Speaker 1: other dog breeds are based on our island or our
33:48
Speaker 1: archipelago's original breed. So be very careful when you speak
33:54
Speaker 1: to the Maltese about canines in general. Just be respectful,
33:58
Speaker 1: and if they seem cool, the next time you're hanging
34:02
Speaker 1: out with a Maltese person, if they seem cool, you
34:05
Speaker 1: can ask them about the infamous Maltese falcon.
34:09
Speaker 2: Ah, the Maltese falcon I. Actually watched this film on
34:14
Speaker 2: a flight not terribly long ago, really really cool noir
34:20
Speaker 2: film starring Bogie Old Humphrey Bogart. So yeah, let's see.
34:26
Speaker 2: According to The Hollywood Reporter, writer Andy Lewis at ranks
34:30
Speaker 2: with the most expensive pieces of movie and TV memorabilia
34:34
Speaker 2: ever sold at auction. It is also a classic example
34:37
Speaker 2: of what is known in cinema and in fiction writing
34:40
Speaker 2: as a mcguffin. It is an object that is the
34:45
Speaker 2: driver of the action of a film or a piece
34:48
Speaker 2: of work, but doesn't really have any meaning on its
34:50
Speaker 2: own a good example. Another good example of that would
34:53
Speaker 2: be the suitcase in pulp fiction. It's sort of this
34:56
Speaker 2: thing that everyone's seeking but doesn't really mean anything out
34:59
Speaker 2: the side of a reason for people to be doing
35:02
Speaker 2: the things they're doing. But you don't really ever get
35:05
Speaker 2: a sense of why it exists or the importance of
35:07
Speaker 2: it outside of it being some sort of valued objects.
35:11
Speaker 1: All right, something that compels and propels the plot. We
35:16
Speaker 1: know that the Falcon statues have been sold in different iterations.
35:23
Speaker 1: It is one of the most expensive pieces of memorabilia
35:27
Speaker 1: ever sold at an auction. Check out our earlier episode
35:30
Speaker 1: on auction houses, and I proposed the portmanteau soln like
35:37
Speaker 1: stolen and sold because a lot of stuff in museums
35:41
Speaker 1: at auction houses is sold anyway. The Falcon statue, as
35:46
Speaker 1: we learn from Andy Lewis writing for Hollywood Reporter, that
35:50
Speaker 1: was sold went for the price of four million and
35:54
Speaker 1: eighty five thousand dollars, including an addition of over half
36:01
Speaker 1: a million dollars. It was one of the two statues
36:04
Speaker 1: made for the movie Maltese Falcon, but it's the only
36:08
Speaker 1: one we know was actually on screen. And according to
36:12
Speaker 1: the auction house that did the sale, the markings on
36:16
Speaker 1: the statue can be matched to the statue on the
36:21
Speaker 1: actual film, like in the final cut. And according to
36:25
Speaker 1: Catherine Williamson, one of the directors at Bottoms, the auction
36:29
Speaker 1: house in charge, quote, the Maltese Falcon is arguably the
36:33
Speaker 1: most important movie prop ever. It is central to the
36:37
Speaker 1: history of cinema. This is also a statement of someone
36:41
Speaker 1: who makes a lot of money by auctioning the Maltese Falcon.
36:45
Speaker 1: Just to be clear, and I think this shows us
36:49
Speaker 1: that there is still a mystery of foot. There is
36:51
Speaker 1: no proof right now as to whether or not there
36:56
Speaker 1: is a real Maltese Falcon statue floating out there, or
37:00
Speaker 1: whether it is one grand game of mcguffin. And thus
37:04
Speaker 1: we conclude our episode the fascinating, fascinating country of Malta.
37:11
Speaker 1: I'd love to go there one day. Oh I gotta
37:13
Speaker 1: mention They've got the fanciest passports too, the Sovereign Order
37:17
Speaker 1: of Malta.
37:18
Speaker 2: What does that mean though? What does that get you?
37:20
Speaker 2: Is it sort of like one of those diplomatic passes
37:23
Speaker 2: or I'm a little confused as to what that means.
37:26
Speaker 1: Oh, they don't have to pay for anything at Dave and.
37:29
Speaker 2: Buster's cool, cool at all and they get the best
37:34
Speaker 2: odds on the gambling. When once that gets rolled out.
37:37
Speaker 1: Right, what's DMB does that? The Sovereign Military Order of
37:42
Speaker 1: Malta issues a very very small amount of passports. The
37:47
Speaker 1: issue diplomatic and service passports. The people who get the
37:51
Speaker 1: diplomatic passports there are only three, the Grand Master, the
37:55
Speaker 1: Grand Commander, the Grand Chancellor. It's just like it's the
37:58
Speaker 1: best passport. I just want to have one for collector's purposes.
38:03
Speaker 1: But that feels bad because if I did have one,
38:06
Speaker 1: that would mean one of three very important people is
38:09
Speaker 1: just sort of ass out at the airport. So we
38:12
Speaker 1: got to think of the greater good. But anyway, this
38:14
Speaker 1: is our Malta episode, thanks so much to our super
38:19
Speaker 1: producer mister Max Williams also conducted the research as we
38:23
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier, for this episode.
38:25
Speaker 2: Indeed, Jonathan the Maltese Falcon, Strickland aka the Quizzler, aj Bahamas, Jacobs,
38:33
Speaker 2: the Puzzler, Eves Jeff Coates here in spirit. Christopher Hasiotis
38:37
Speaker 2: as well.
38:38
Speaker 1: Alex Williams who composed this slap and bop at the
38:41
Speaker 1: beginning end of every episode. We also want to thank
38:45
Speaker 1: our pal doctor Rachel Big Spinach Lance who might be
38:50
Speaker 1: making an appearance. And thanks to you all.
38:53
Speaker 2: Let's get on the road, Let's do it. We'll see
38:55
Speaker 2: you next time, folks. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit
39:05
Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
39:08
Speaker 2: your favorite shows.