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The Breakfast Club BEST OF - Best Sellers of 2025 - Mel Robbins, Dawn Staley, Allen Iverson + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake you up, Wake Up program you Alarm the Power
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: one oh five point one on iHeartRadio.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I like what y'all are doing because you're authentic and it.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Has impact, you know, and people hold on to some
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: of these gems y'all made.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: Monk.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Hey, bro, I'm a breakfast cluk.
• 0:19
  Speaker 5: I don't feeding lock off.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Maybe I love you guys watched the Breakfast Cloud flo
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: who's really tuned in?
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Your interviews are quite challenging.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Somebody gotta do it. It's like I watched y'all show
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: in the morning, like you guys have the voices of the.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Morning djam just hilarious.
• 0:42
  Speaker 6: Charlemagne to god, everyone just kept telling the preference crazy
• 0:46
  Speaker 6: scared of Pokey hilarious, crazy scared Pokey hilarious.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: This is your time to get it off your chest
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: cool eight hundred five eighty five one o five one.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club. Hello,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: who's this yo?
• 1:03
  Speaker 7: Boy in Charlemagne DJ Envy me.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Day Day, Seized me Day, get it off your chest.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Brother.
• 1:08
  Speaker 7: Hey, Charlamagne, I gotta talk to you for a little bit.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, sir, Why you have to get that felt up
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: by Asian dudes?
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: Up the nel so on.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: He likes it too. You see his gigy we went back.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Listen.
• 1:18
  Speaker 8: All I said was that when I'm in there sometimes
• 1:21
  Speaker 8: getting the manicure, one of the guys that worked there,
• 1:24
  Speaker 8: he'll come up behind you and give you a little
• 1:26
  Speaker 8: shoulder up, and you know, it was cool.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: He liked to get it to it and it's fun.
• 1:32
  Speaker 7: But the weird thing was that she was like, oh,
• 1:34
  Speaker 7: I don't want Envy to show up, so he don't
• 1:36
  Speaker 7: see it.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: No. What happened with Clipping.
• 1:39
  Speaker 8: Know what happened was last time I was in there,
• 1:41
  Speaker 8: Envy's wife and his daughter was in there, and then
• 1:44
  Speaker 8: I saw Homie lurking, and I was like, man, don't
• 1:46
  Speaker 8: come rub my shoulders right now, because I didn't want
• 1:47
  Speaker 8: them to go back and tell Envy because I know
• 1:49
  Speaker 8: they would have made it weird.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, yeah, go ahead, you telling yourself that.
• 1:54
  Speaker 6: Man, Hey, I love the breakfast club at the Staff
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: Record Label and it's a cruel.
• 2:01
  Speaker 8: But you know what was crazy though, why like like
• 2:04
  Speaker 8: football players, basketball players got male therapist physical trainers that
• 2:08
  Speaker 8: rubbed them down all day. I tell one story about
• 2:11
  Speaker 8: the Asian man giving me a shoulder rub, and now
• 2:13
  Speaker 8: you know, I'm questionable.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: You've always been questionable. That's not the team.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: You've always been questionable. It's not like one time you've
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: been questionable.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Hello, who is this?
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: Shave?
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: Hey? Shave hey shave?
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: What up though? Get it off your chest.
• 2:24
  Speaker 7: Mama that morning.
• 2:27
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I just wanted to let my family know that
• 2:30
  Speaker 9: I'm not mad at all for not telling me that
• 2:32
  Speaker 9: my cousin has been sleep through with my previous boy
• 2:36
  Speaker 9: friend's they're about five years since together. But they she
• 2:39
  Speaker 9: didn't know that that was theim or whatever she was
• 2:43
  Speaker 9: around when he was around. But she said he didn't
• 2:44
  Speaker 9: know that was him. However, I just want to let
• 2:46
  Speaker 9: them know I'm not mad at them, they claimed. I mean,
• 2:48
  Speaker 9: they had funny like I should be the one that's
• 2:51
  Speaker 9: a fit, but they have it. But I'm like, Okay,
• 2:54
  Speaker 9: I'm not mad at all like this whatever, but I
• 2:55
  Speaker 9: just want to let my cousin I'm not.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: Mad at you.
• 2:57
  Speaker 9: Girls ahead, and she allagedly pregnant by himself.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: D you got a new man, you should come with
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: your new man.
• 3:03
  Speaker 6: You got a new man problem.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: She wasn't.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: She got about three of them. That's not a flex man.
• 3:10
  Speaker 10: That don't walk in with all of them.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: That's not a flex okay, but you know what it
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: looks like.
• 3:15
  Speaker 10: It seems like you dodged the bullet dough.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: So that's what's up, definitely.
• 3:18
  Speaker 6: But I just want to let her know I'm not
• 3:19
  Speaker 6: mad at your girl.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Go ahead, your that's how you get BV two. I
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: just want you to know that.
• 3:24
  Speaker 11: But five years do your thank Wow, three.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Or four men, and you an't gonna know where the
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: commedia came from. Hello, who's this man? My name is
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: get Off Jr.
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: What's going on, Charlotte mane ivy uh?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know if about that?
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 3:45
  Speaker 6: About that? Hey man, I'd be a lot. I be
• 3:49
  Speaker 6: vised a lot, doing a lot of different things throughout
• 3:51
  Speaker 6: my years and stuff, doing stuff for the community and
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: all that stuff.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: And I'm the only brother, so.
• 3:57
  Speaker 8: I just.
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: I have the ideal through different things. But she just
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: put out a book, and I just read a book.
• 4:04
  Speaker 7: I just read a book, and and.
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: I just read a book, and your theme had all
• 4:08
  Speaker 6: of the domestic vice that.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: She went through, you know what I mean.
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: And I found out all this stuff I read her book.
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: So I wanted to get this off. My chance to
• 4:17
  Speaker 6: apologize to my sister for not being the big brother.
• 4:22
  Speaker 6: And ain't I already know that she already uh you know,
• 4:25
  Speaker 6: you know, like how they trying to hold it back
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: from their brother.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, stuff like that.
• 4:30
  Speaker 6: You know, But I ain't know it was it was
• 4:32
  Speaker 6: to think I gotta do a lot of things. But man,
• 4:35
  Speaker 6: but like I said, I like he's doing a lot
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: of stuff, man, and really want paying attention. Man, And
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: I just want to like apologize to my.
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: Little sister man, Jackie Gooseby. Man, she got the you
• 4:46
  Speaker 7: know what I'm saying, and she listened.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: She she just put a book out there.
• 4:49
  Speaker 7: Did anybody want to check it out? The call to
• 4:52
  Speaker 7: make my pen cry?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: That's how did she tell you that she was getting.
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: I'm relearning, I'm sir, relearning to make my pen.
• 4:59
  Speaker 8: Cry, relearning to make my paying right? Did she tell
• 5:01
  Speaker 8: you she was getting abused when she was getting abused?
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: Take that again?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Did she tell you she was getting abused when she
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: was getting abused?
• 5:06
  Speaker 11: No, Man, I knew, I knew regular.
• 5:08
  Speaker 7: I knew regular relationship.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: Self.
• 5:10
  Speaker 11: Yeah, you know what I'm saying, But but it ain't
• 5:12
  Speaker 11: it ain't it ain't. It ain't go that, you know,
• 5:15
  Speaker 11: she ain't go that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: Defer, Then when I talked to her when you're talking
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: to her, man, she was telling me that, you know
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: what I'm saying, you don't want to keep her thoullard
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: out of You know, I don't be I don't been
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: in trouble and all that, so you know what I'm saying.
• 5:27
  Speaker 6: So but at the end of today, man, I want
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: to polize my plan.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Seem me very that. Man.
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: I learned a lot of that stuff in that book. Man,
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: and they got me feeling got me really feeling bad.
• 5:37
  Speaker 8: You know, don't beat yourself up too bad because it's
• 5:39
  Speaker 8: not like you knew what was going on and ignore
• 5:40
  Speaker 8: you That's right.
• 5:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, man, all right, I can get anybody your
• 5:45
  Speaker 6: their courage and courage. You know what I'm saying, They
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: ain't not just I mean taking this little free court man.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I appreciate it, Yes, I appreciate you.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Get it off your chest eight hundred five eighty five
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: one O five one. If you need to vent, hit
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: up now. It's the breakfast club. Good morning, telling.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I'm telling what's doing.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Call of you?
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: This is your time to get it off your chest,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: whether you're mad or blessed. Eight hundred five one. We
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: want to hear from you on the breakfast clubs.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Hello, who's this? Good morning? Good morning.
• 6:17
  Speaker 7: I'm a remain anonymous.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know why y'all do this on the radio. Bro,
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: you can't see you. You can say my name is?
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: My name is called Ill.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: What's up called?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Get it off your chest?
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: Bro?
• 6:28
  Speaker 7: There a hey, look man, I'm down here in Charlotte.
• 6:32
  Speaker 7: I wanted to talk about these ice rays and stuff.
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 6:35
  Speaker 7: So I worked at construction, right.
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: And it's crazy.
• 6:38
  Speaker 7: Uh you know it's majority ran by Republicans construction in
• 6:42
  Speaker 7: this year, right, So he got a lot of white guys.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Stuff that are running this. Man.
• 6:46
  Speaker 7: You should see how how much of a panic there
• 6:49
  Speaker 7: because nobody's showing up.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: On these job sites.
• 6:51
  Speaker 8: Bro, I can imagine if I don't even know who
• 6:53
  Speaker 8: the hell he got working on the barroom right.
• 6:55
  Speaker 7: Right, so like like you're talking like full trade. So
• 6:58
  Speaker 7: I was on the job yesterday and he's got still
• 7:02
  Speaker 7: erectors scheduled to come in to start putting up still
• 7:05
  Speaker 7: like the actual structure of the building, but the whole
• 7:09
  Speaker 7: the whole team of still erect it is called although
• 7:11
  Speaker 7: it didn't show up, you know what I mean. And
• 7:13
  Speaker 7: now they're all in a panic and I'm like, y'all
• 7:15
  Speaker 7: vooted for this man?
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Hello, who is Hey?
• 7:19
  Speaker 7: What's going on? Say?
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: Jay? What up?
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Get it off your chest?
• 7:22
  Speaker 11: Jay?
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Man?
• 7:23
  Speaker 11: Look, I just I just want to get a breakfast
• 7:25
  Speaker 11: of a shout out.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 7:27
  Speaker 11: You guys really have been there this multiple times, you know,
• 7:31
  Speaker 11: from from the election to the scandals to the drama,
• 7:35
  Speaker 11: and you just you guys have just kept us just
• 7:38
  Speaker 11: in the zone with your entertainment, your humor. You know,
• 7:42
  Speaker 11: you're adverse thinking. You know, everybody has a collective and
• 7:45
  Speaker 11: I just think that's huge and it's important, especially for
• 7:49
  Speaker 11: our mental health. Man, to some people, some of us
• 7:51
  Speaker 11: don't even have anyone has turned to to talk about
• 7:54
  Speaker 11: our feelings or how we feel. And it's just good
• 7:57
  Speaker 11: to have that outlet.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you. We appreciate y'all. Man, Thank you.
• 8:03
  Speaker 8: The Breakfast Club is America's front porch. You can come
• 8:05
  Speaker 8: sit sit on our front porch any morning.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Get it off your chest eight hundred and five eight five,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: one oh five one. If you need de vic, call
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: us up right now. It's the Breakfast Club.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Good morning morning.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Everybody is DJ Envy just hilarious charlamage the guy.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Law La Rosa is here as well, and we got
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: a special guest in the building.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, Mel Robbins, Welcome.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: Hey, it's good to see you. How you feeling morning,
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: I feel great. How are you doing?
• 8:29
  Speaker 8: Bless Black and Holly favorite. This is your first time
• 8:32
  Speaker 8: in this studio. You were here in twenty twenty one
• 8:34
  Speaker 8: when you had a high five theory.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, but now millions.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Of books later, number one podcast in the world right now, yes.
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: Six year old woman.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: You know it really feels like you've truly arrived. What
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: do you what do you think? You know the success?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: What's made all this new success happen?
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: Well, you know it's not new success.
• 8:55
  Speaker 12: Like what you're seeing is the result of fifteen years
• 8:58
  Speaker 12: of just or grueling daily reps. Like That's what nobody
• 9:04
  Speaker 12: wants to understand, is that you can be successful. You
• 9:08
  Speaker 12: can achieve anything you want.
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: You just have to be patient.
• 9:11
  Speaker 12: You have to get up out of bed every single
• 9:13
  Speaker 12: day and put one foot in front of the other.
• 9:15
  Speaker 12: You got to be willing to do the things you
• 9:17
  Speaker 12: don't feel like doing in the dark, when nobody's watching,
• 9:20
  Speaker 12: and when you think that it's not gonna happen for you.
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: That is what it's about.
• 9:24
  Speaker 12: It's about just consistent, small moves, being patient. I mean,
• 9:28
  Speaker 12: there were so many times where I was just like,
• 9:30
  Speaker 12: am I ever gonna get out of it? Is anyone
• 9:32
  Speaker 12: ever gonna notice?
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 9:34
  Speaker 12: Am I ever gonna get invited to the breakfast club?
• 9:36
  Speaker 12: Like one of the like when is somebody done to notice.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Your spot that you want it?
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 9:42
  Speaker 12: No, but seriously, like you kind of sit there because
• 9:44
  Speaker 12: I mean, every one of us have had those moments,
• 9:46
  Speaker 12: whether you're putting out music or you're starting a YouTube
• 9:49
  Speaker 12: channel or you started a business, and it's so easy
• 9:51
  Speaker 12: to look around at what everybody else is doing and
• 9:53
  Speaker 12: think that you're.
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: Losing some race in life.
• 9:56
  Speaker 12: The real game is with yourself and you keep can
• 10:00
  Speaker 12: you say to yourself, And this is kind of how
• 10:02
  Speaker 12: I would keep myself going in those moments. I would say,
• 10:05
  Speaker 12: I refuse to believe that this is how the story ends.
• 10:09
  Speaker 12: I believe that at some point all of this work
• 10:12
  Speaker 12: is going to pay off. I don't have to know how.
• 10:15
  Speaker 12: I have to believe that it will. And if it
• 10:17
  Speaker 12: hasn't yet, it's not meant to yet. There's some lesson.
• 10:21
  Speaker 12: There's something I'm being.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: Held for that. I don't know what it is.
• 10:25
  Speaker 12: But if I choose to believe in this moment that
• 10:27
  Speaker 12: things are going to get better, that things are going
• 10:28
  Speaker 12: to turn out for me, that all this hard work
• 10:30
  Speaker 12: is going to pay off, that trying to be a
• 10:32
  Speaker 12: better person is going to pay off, at some point
• 10:34
  Speaker 12: I will look back on my life.
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: And say, oh, that's why it didn't happen. Then, Oh,
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: that's why it took longer. Oh that's why.
• 10:42
  Speaker 12: Either you weren't ready or God the universe was holding
• 10:46
  Speaker 12: you for a different moment.
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: And so, you know, a lot of people ask me
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: what is this moment about.
• 10:50
  Speaker 12: I think it's about fifteen years of ridiculously hard work
• 10:54
  Speaker 12: becoming a better person. I think it's about fifteen years
• 10:58
  Speaker 12: of just chipping away at getting out of debt and
• 11:02
  Speaker 12: doing better in my marriage, and being a better mother,
• 11:04
  Speaker 12: and getting control of my emotions and my mental health,
• 11:07
  Speaker 12: chipping away at building a business. And I truly believe
• 11:12
  Speaker 12: that I was being held for this moment like this
• 11:15
  Speaker 12: one thousand percent is my legacy.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you a question, Malt. You talk
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: about the reps, YEP, for you, it worked out and
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: successful and great. What about that person that is just
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: not good, right, that rap of that is not good?
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Like trying that podcast person that is doing the podcast,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: that is just not good. And everybody just stay good
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: good to anybody.
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: Well I don't I see, I don't believe that.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: But when do you stop because you're a sixty year
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: old rapper like you know, I mean?
• 11:41
  Speaker 12: Or maybe why cantheror be a ninety one ninety year
• 11:43
  Speaker 12: old one? See, maybe what the rapping is for is
• 11:47
  Speaker 12: maybe it's not about rapping. Maybe there is something that
• 11:50
  Speaker 12: you're doing when you are rapping and nobody's coming that
• 11:54
  Speaker 12: is teaching you a lesson about patience. Maybe what it's
• 11:58
  Speaker 12: doing is teaching you to believe in yourself when nobody
• 12:02
  Speaker 12: else does. And every time that you show up and
• 12:05
  Speaker 12: nobody's there, every time you post a video on your
• 12:08
  Speaker 12: YouTube channel that only your uncle and your son are
• 12:11
  Speaker 12: subscribed to, every time you post, you're basically saying, you
• 12:15
  Speaker 12: know what, screw the world, I believe in myself. I'm
• 12:18
  Speaker 12: doing this for myself and so for me. When you
• 12:21
  Speaker 12: give the example of like the person who's a rappers
• 12:23
  Speaker 12: is terrible, just there's lots of people out there doing
• 12:25
  Speaker 12: stuff they're just terrible. What I love is that they
• 12:28
  Speaker 12: felt called to do something. I don't care if they
• 12:30
  Speaker 12: felt called to do it because they wanted to make
• 12:32
  Speaker 12: more money. I mean, hell, I was working five six
• 12:35
  Speaker 12: jobs back, you know, fifteen years ago when we were
• 12:38
  Speaker 12: eight hundred thousand dollars in debt because I needed groceries
• 12:40
  Speaker 12: on the table, I needed gas in the tank. And
• 12:43
  Speaker 12: so motivation to be safe and to make money or
• 12:46
  Speaker 12: because of your ambition, that's a beautiful thing. But at
• 12:49
  Speaker 12: some point you're gonna go, I'm not that good at this,
• 12:52
  Speaker 12: but I believe, and this is what I think is
• 12:54
  Speaker 12: super cool about life. Absolutely every experience that you have
• 12:58
  Speaker 12: in life is leading you somewhere and teaching you something.
• 13:01
  Speaker 12: And I'm gonna one of the reasons why I share
• 13:04
  Speaker 12: so much about what I've learned and the mistakes that
• 13:06
  Speaker 12: I've made. I'm like the villain and every book is
• 13:09
  Speaker 12: because I'm stubborn, Like it takes a sledgehammer from the
• 13:13
  Speaker 12: universe for me to wake the hell up and stop
• 13:15
  Speaker 12: doing something like I literally get so into my groove,
• 13:18
  Speaker 12: whether it's drinking too much or taking my stress out
• 13:21
  Speaker 12: on my kids or being a jealous, insecure friend that
• 13:25
  Speaker 12: things have to backfire for me to wake up and go, well, yes,
• 13:28
  Speaker 12: I better try something different.
• 13:29
  Speaker 8: Well, I want to just set it up about the book, man,
• 13:32
  Speaker 8: there's some books that I believe are must reads in life.
• 13:36
  Speaker 8: Delecting Theory by Mel Robbins has been added to that
• 13:38
  Speaker 8: must readless. My wife got it for me a few
• 13:40
  Speaker 8: weeks ago, and the book is just essentially about how
• 13:42
  Speaker 8: you have to stop wasting your life on things that
• 13:44
  Speaker 8: you can't control.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: When did you get to that revelus?
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, fifty four? I am a learner, you know.
• 13:51
  Speaker 12: And the funny thing is is I'm married to the
• 13:54
  Speaker 12: chillest dude on the plan. I mean, I'm married to
• 13:56
  Speaker 12: a man who is not only Buddhist, he is a
• 13:59
  Speaker 12: death duela. And like when you want to talk about
• 14:02
  Speaker 12: like a person, yeah that can just sit in stillness.
• 14:06
  Speaker 12: I'm like a tornado of emotion. And so I've always
• 14:09
  Speaker 12: wanted to let things go. I've always wanted to not
• 14:11
  Speaker 12: care what people think. I've never known how. And see,
• 14:14
  Speaker 12: when you're stressed, or you're easily offended like I used
• 14:18
  Speaker 12: to be, or you have a lot going on, it
• 14:22
  Speaker 12: is very hard to not get wrapped up and what
• 14:25
  Speaker 12: other people are thinking and doing it's very hard to
• 14:28
  Speaker 12: not let what your kids are going through stress you out.
• 14:30
  Speaker 12: And so you know, I've been trying to do this forever.
• 14:33
  Speaker 12: I mean, this is not a new idea. The serenity
• 14:35
  Speaker 12: prayer is the let Them theory. In fact, you know,
• 14:38
  Speaker 12: I sat down with doctor Martin Luther King the third
• 14:40
  Speaker 12: and his wife and Andrea, and they both said, we
• 14:42
  Speaker 12: write about it in the let Them theory. They both
• 14:44
  Speaker 12: reflect on the fact that this concept that you have
• 14:48
  Speaker 12: to give up control in order to gain control, that
• 14:53
  Speaker 12: your power is in your response.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: That this is part of doctor Martin Luther King Junior's.
• 14:56
  Speaker 12: Legacy because your response is what dictates who you are.
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: It's not what's happening out there.
• 15:05
  Speaker 12: It's how you respond to it with your thoughts and
• 15:08
  Speaker 12: your actions and how you process your own emotions. And
• 15:12
  Speaker 12: so I did not know this until I was fifty
• 15:14
  Speaker 12: four years old. And you know, for me personally, the
• 15:17
  Speaker 12: power of these two words because let them.
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: We've all said let them in our lives a bazillion times.
• 15:22
  Speaker 12: I mean, there's a sermon circulating that's twenty years old,
• 15:26
  Speaker 12: Dad Jakes doing this let them sermons. So this is
• 15:29
  Speaker 12: a concept that has been around since the beginning of time.
• 15:33
  Speaker 12: And that's why this is resonated. I'm not teaching you
• 15:35
  Speaker 12: something new, I'm reminding you of what you already know
• 15:38
  Speaker 12: to be true, and I'm handing you this tool so
• 15:40
  Speaker 12: you can snap out of this crap where we're constantly
• 15:43
  Speaker 12: worked up about what other people are doing to take
• 15:45
  Speaker 12: our power back.
• 15:46
  Speaker 13: You talk about managing other people a lot, and I've
• 15:49
  Speaker 13: never heard the term put like that, but you use
• 15:51
  Speaker 13: it to basically talk about how we're still what's you're
• 15:54
  Speaker 13: talking about me?
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 15:55
  Speaker 13: We're worried about other people, but also too, I think
• 15:56
  Speaker 13: it's expectations of other people that we're trying to we're
• 16:00
  Speaker 13: making decisions based around that a lot. When did you
• 16:02
  Speaker 13: realize this whole scale of like managing other people and
• 16:07
  Speaker 13: learning when the clock out of that job of trying.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: To do that?
• 16:09
  Speaker 12: Well, So what's going to happen is this so when
• 16:12
  Speaker 12: you start using the let them theory, and it's so
• 16:14
  Speaker 12: easy to use the next time you're stressed out or
• 16:17
  Speaker 12: annoyed or frustrated, and it's always with other people, just
• 16:19
  Speaker 12: say let them. That's how I use it, Let them,
• 16:21
  Speaker 12: and you're going to immediately feel peaceful. Your mom's in
• 16:24
  Speaker 12: a bad mood. Let her be in a bad mood.
• 16:25
  Speaker 12: Some old friend of yours is talking. Let them talk trash.
• 16:28
  Speaker 12: Why you're not allowing it. When you say let them,
• 16:32
  Speaker 12: you are reminding yourself there's one thing in life I
• 16:35
  Speaker 12: can't control. It's what other people say, do, believe, feel,
• 16:38
  Speaker 12: And it's on my job to So when you start
• 16:41
  Speaker 12: saying let them, and you detach yourself from the responsibility
• 16:45
  Speaker 12: of having to manage somebody else, something interesting happens. You realize,
• 16:49
  Speaker 12: oh my god, I've lived my life in reserve reverse.
• 16:52
  Speaker 12: I actually live my life giving time and energy trying
• 16:55
  Speaker 12: to manage what other people think. I have kept myself
• 16:58
  Speaker 12: in a major or in a relationship or in a
• 17:03
  Speaker 12: situation because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents or my friends.
• 17:07
  Speaker 12: I mean, how many people keep drinking or like, keep
• 17:10
  Speaker 12: going out at night when what they really want to
• 17:12
  Speaker 12: do is launch a business, and so they don't take
• 17:15
  Speaker 12: the weekends to work on the things that they want
• 17:17
  Speaker 12: to work on because they feel like they don't want
• 17:19
  Speaker 12: to disappoint their friends or people going to talk about them.
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: That's you giving power to other people.
• 17:24
  Speaker 12: Like another way that we give power to other people
• 17:25
  Speaker 12: is we get so focused on the headlines that we
• 17:28
  Speaker 12: gaslight ourselves into believing that.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: You have no power. It's complete garbage. Of course you
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: have power.
• 17:33
  Speaker 12: And so when you start saying let them, it's sort
• 17:36
  Speaker 12: of this revelation where you're like, oh my god, I
• 17:40
  Speaker 12: spend so much time and energy worrying about other people.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: I spent so much time and energy letting them stress
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: me out.
• 17:46
  Speaker 13: But is there a level of like when that becomes
• 17:48
  Speaker 13: easier versus harder? Because when you were just talking, I
• 17:50
  Speaker 13: thought about Michelle Obama. Yes, in the podcast, one of
• 17:52
  Speaker 13: the podcasts she did this week, she was talking about
• 17:54
  Speaker 13: how she realized she was doing a lot for other people,
• 17:57
  Speaker 13: not thinking about herself, and she started making decisions for us.
• 18:00
  Speaker 13: So she's going place, so she wants to go and
• 18:01
  Speaker 13: doss like that anything. She's divorced because of it. But
• 18:06
  Speaker 13: it's like, she's Michelle Obama, so it's hard for her
• 18:09
  Speaker 13: to like the noise is so it's a lot louder
• 18:12
  Speaker 13: for her well.
• 18:13
  Speaker 12: Of course, But whether or not you pay attention to
• 18:17
  Speaker 12: that is within your control, whether or not you look
• 18:20
  Speaker 12: at your phone, And we're all guilty of it, whether
• 18:22
  Speaker 12: you are Michelle Obama or you're just going into your
• 18:25
  Speaker 12: middle school. Whether or not you give attention to the gossip,
• 18:29
  Speaker 12: you look for the gossip, you mainline it. That is
• 18:32
  Speaker 12: within your control. If you say, I can never ever,
• 18:36
  Speaker 12: ever stop somebody from lying about me, from making up
• 18:39
  Speaker 12: stuff about me, from you know, saying whatever they're going
• 18:42
  Speaker 12: to say, So why on earth would I spend any
• 18:45
  Speaker 12: time and energy managing it? And then you go, let
• 18:48
  Speaker 12: me This is the second part of the theory. Once't
• 18:49
  Speaker 12: you say, let them, let them think negative thoughts, let
• 18:52
  Speaker 12: them make up all kinds of crap, Because if you
• 18:54
  Speaker 12: know you're not getting divorced, what do you care about
• 18:56
  Speaker 12: these idiots saying let me remind myself that I know
• 18:59
  Speaker 12: the truth. And when you know the truth about who
• 19:02
  Speaker 12: you are, you don't think about other people. When you
• 19:05
  Speaker 12: live your life in a way that makes you proud,
• 19:08
  Speaker 12: you don't think about other people.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: I tell them all you tell me to read.
• 19:12
  Speaker 13: Her book, and I was, and I already had the
• 19:14
  Speaker 13: book because I think Eddie had given it to us
• 19:16
  Speaker 13: a minute. I was like, oh, I got the book,
• 19:17
  Speaker 13: and you got it.
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: It will change your damn. I'm telling you it will
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: change your life.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Because but you have to get to that stage yes,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: because it's it took me a while to get to
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: that stage.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: It took a while to get to that.
• 19:28
  Speaker 10: You think he was born that way, and.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: So I've never truly cared right.
• 19:35
  Speaker 8: But then even when I started to care, I realized
• 19:37
  Speaker 8: things like the serenity prayer, a little simple things that
• 19:39
  Speaker 8: you saw sitting in your grandmother's house. You realize that
• 19:42
  Speaker 8: is absolutely the truth of God, Grammy, the serenity. Accept
• 19:44
  Speaker 8: things I cannot change, courage change the things I can.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: And withn't no difference.
• 19:47
  Speaker 8: And the easiest way to let go of what you
• 19:48
  Speaker 8: can't control is just realizing you never had control to
• 19:51
  Speaker 8: begin with.
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: And here's another thing that's really important.
• 19:53
  Speaker 12: That's why you're gonna love it, is that what ol
• 19:56
  Speaker 12: stirt to happen when you say let them is it's
• 19:58
  Speaker 12: not that you're allowing people to do bad things.
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: They're already doing bad things.
• 20:02
  Speaker 12: You're recognizing that it's not your job to manage other people,
• 20:06
  Speaker 12: because this is a book that's about power and control
• 20:08
  Speaker 12: and peace. Then you say, let me remind myself how
• 20:12
  Speaker 12: I respond to things actually is where my power is.
• 20:16
  Speaker 12: So do I give this any time and energy or not?
• 20:20
  Speaker 12: Do I double down on just living my life in
• 20:22
  Speaker 12: a way that makes me proud of myself, which is
• 20:25
  Speaker 12: where your power is. And the thing that also changed
• 20:27
  Speaker 12: me dramatically is I couldn't believe how much stress I
• 20:34
  Speaker 12: felt and how I was bracing all the time. And
• 20:38
  Speaker 12: when you start to say let them, and you release
• 20:41
  Speaker 12: that kind of obligation to make other people happy or
• 20:46
  Speaker 12: to make everybody know that you're not divorced, or that
• 20:48
  Speaker 12: everything's okay, or like, just let them think whatever they
• 20:51
  Speaker 12: want to think, and live your life in a way
• 20:53
  Speaker 12: that makes you proud. You're going to get all this
• 20:55
  Speaker 12: time and energy back. And what I love about this
• 20:59
  Speaker 12: is when you're less stressed and when you're not bracing
• 21:02
  Speaker 12: all the time, because you.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: Know your boss is narcissistic, so why on earth.
• 21:06
  Speaker 12: Would you walk into work assuming that that he's going
• 21:09
  Speaker 12: to be anything other than what it already has always been.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: Let them be who they are.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I love the Managing Stress chapter.
• 21:15
  Speaker 8: And in that chapter you say you can't control how
• 21:17
  Speaker 8: other adults behave and stressing about it diminishes your power.
• 21:22
  Speaker 8: You'll never reach the full potential of your life if
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: you continue to allow stupid things to rule people to
• 21:27
  Speaker 8: drain your life for can you Yes?
• 21:28
  Speaker 12: Yes, So the two most important resources that you have
• 21:31
  Speaker 12: in life time energy, that's what you got. How you
• 21:34
  Speaker 12: spend your time, where you put your energy, it actually
• 21:38
  Speaker 12: determines your experience of life. And that's why I say,
• 21:41
  Speaker 12: if you have this experience right now where you're exhausted
• 21:43
  Speaker 12: and overwhelmed and nervous and you're not like feeling like
• 21:47
  Speaker 12: you can ever have time for yourself or your goals
• 21:50
  Speaker 12: to start clicking, You're not the problem. The problem is
• 21:52
  Speaker 12: all this time and energy you spend dealing with other people,
• 21:56
  Speaker 12: and so let them is a boundary that you draw
• 21:59
  Speaker 12: where you start to wreck it. Okay, I'm going to
• 22:01
  Speaker 12: let other people think and feel and do and have
• 22:04
  Speaker 12: their opinions, and I'm going to let them be disappointed.
• 22:06
  Speaker 12: I'm going to let them misunderstand me, and I'm going
• 22:09
  Speaker 12: to let me really take that time and energy back
• 22:12
  Speaker 12: and pour it into working on myself and staying in
• 22:16
  Speaker 12: my piece. And what I've found is that when I'm
• 22:20
  Speaker 12: less stressed, which i am because I'm not allowing stupid
• 22:25
  Speaker 12: stuff for other people to stress me out, I'm actually
• 22:28
  Speaker 12: a better person. I make more money because I can
• 22:31
  Speaker 12: use my brain instead of being in fire or flight.
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: I don't like vomit on my kids. My emotions.
• 22:37
  Speaker 12: Like I used to be the kind of person that
• 22:38
  Speaker 12: would come in at you know, after work and yelling
• 22:41
  Speaker 12: at everybody or mad at the dog for crying out loud,
• 22:43
  Speaker 12: and then I'd be like, I'm sorry, it was a
• 22:45
  Speaker 12: bad day.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: At work, stressful day at work with the dogs.
• 22:48
  Speaker 12: You know, they kind of do this, and then they
• 22:49
  Speaker 12: come back and they're really nice because they they literally
• 22:53
  Speaker 12: dogs don't do don't like punish you for that, And
• 22:57
  Speaker 12: it's so sad that I used to leave them worst
• 23:00
  Speaker 12: of me for the people I cared about the most,
• 23:03
  Speaker 12: and then blame it on the stress of the day.
• 23:05
  Speaker 12: That By the way, when you use the let them theory,
• 23:08
  Speaker 12: you have control over whether or not this stuff.
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: Gets to you.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: Let me do it.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I have a question.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in chapter five you say let them think bad
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: thoughts about you, right. The question with that is when
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: a lot of people sometimes especially on social media, right ye,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: nobody facts checks anymore, but that could affect your reputation.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: That can affect your business. That could affect the way
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: that your kids, teachers look at you, or business that
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: comes around.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Of course, what are you doing well?
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: So here.
• 23:35
  Speaker 12: This is a very tricky question because you're talking about
• 23:39
  Speaker 12: the PR and the media swirl. PR is a little
• 23:42
  Speaker 12: bit different in personal like, I think it's really important
• 23:45
  Speaker 12: to understand who you are, whether you're dealing with rumors
• 23:48
  Speaker 12: at a middle school, or you're dealing with rumors in
• 23:50
  Speaker 12: your community, or you've got somebody in your family trash
• 23:53
  Speaker 12: talking you.
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: In order to.
• 23:55
  Speaker 12: Repair your reputation, it is better to show than to tell.
• 23:59
  Speaker 12: In my opinion, you prove the truth based on how
• 24:02
  Speaker 12: you show up in life, not based.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: On the words that come out of your mouth.
• 24:06
  Speaker 12: And if there is somebody spreading things about you, the
• 24:09
  Speaker 12: best way to handle it is to go directly to
• 24:12
  Speaker 12: that person and to ask them about it. Because those
• 24:14
  Speaker 12: kind of people, the people that gossip about you, ultimately
• 24:18
  Speaker 12: end up crumbling anyway, because it always catches.
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: Up with them.
• 24:21
  Speaker 8: You know, you were in the book you talk about
• 24:23
  Speaker 8: how you felt paralyzed by imposter syndrome, especially when you
• 24:26
  Speaker 8: were teaching.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the five second rule. I wonder what's changed since then?
• 24:29
  Speaker 8: We'll gives you the confidence and authority now to feel
• 24:32
  Speaker 8: like you can go out here and teach to.
• 24:33
  Speaker 12: Lect them do That's a great, great question, So you
• 24:36
  Speaker 12: know how well. First of all, impostor syndrome is deeply misunderstood.
• 24:41
  Speaker 12: So imposter syndrome does not mean that you don't belong
• 24:45
  Speaker 12: in the room you're in. Imposter syndrome means you actually
• 24:48
  Speaker 12: want to be in the room you're in, and there's
• 24:50
  Speaker 12: skills or there's experience that you need to gain in
• 24:54
  Speaker 12: order to dominate in that room. Imposter syndrome is actually
• 24:57
  Speaker 12: not self doubt.
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: It's ambition.
• 24:59
  Speaker 13: And so thanks that a bit because it's always been
• 25:01
  Speaker 13: said the other way.
• 25:02
  Speaker 12: Yeah, And so if you really think about it, if
• 25:04
  Speaker 12: you walk into a room and you don't feel impostor syndrome,
• 25:08
  Speaker 12: it's because you don't want to be in that room.
• 25:10
  Speaker 12: You don't care what people think about you in that room.
• 25:13
  Speaker 12: If you walk into a room and you feel a
• 25:15
  Speaker 12: sense of imposter syndrome, it's because you care about what
• 25:19
  Speaker 12: people think about you in that room. It means your
• 25:21
  Speaker 12: ambition wants you to succeed in that room.
• 25:23
  Speaker 14: Oh like push to stay sharp, correct, okay, and also like, hey,
• 25:28
  Speaker 14: I want to actually succeed around people like this, which
• 25:32
  Speaker 14: means what are the skills I need and what I
• 25:34
  Speaker 14: started to understand and I think it explains a lot
• 25:37
  Speaker 14: about why I am who.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: I am is that we're all the same.
• 25:40
  Speaker 12: Everybody is dealing with the same stuff. Yes, it's easier
• 25:43
  Speaker 12: if you have more money and more resources, but at
• 25:45
  Speaker 12: the end of the day, everybody's got a family member
• 25:47
  Speaker 12: that they're worried about. Everybody has ambition they're not tapping into.
• 25:50
  Speaker 12: Everybody has things that they want to pursue in their life,
• 25:54
  Speaker 12: and they're kind of letting themselves down a little bit.
• 25:56
  Speaker 12: Everybody struggles with a little bit of uncertainty and anxiety
• 25:59
  Speaker 12: at time. Everybody has hopes and dreams and feels a
• 26:03
  Speaker 12: little discouraged and overwhelmed. And when you started a baseline
• 26:06
  Speaker 12: that people would love to thrive, and people thrive when
• 26:09
  Speaker 12: they can, and if they can't, I believe it's because
• 26:13
  Speaker 12: they're discouraged, or there's some skill building or some experience
• 26:16
  Speaker 12: or you know, some mentorship that's missing. That's it, but
• 26:19
  Speaker 12: that you're built to thrive. And so when you really
• 26:22
  Speaker 12: start at that baseline, like you know, I make it
• 26:24
  Speaker 12: a practice. By the way, this is this is one
• 26:26
  Speaker 12: thing that will change your life. When you go into
• 26:28
  Speaker 12: a public.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: Bathroom, two things. I always leave the space better than when.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: I found it.
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: I always clean public bathrooms. No, no, no, literally, like
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: I literally that's why I don't go into that stall.
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: But okay, no, just.
• 26:45
  Speaker 12: Because if somebody like destroy especially women, If somebody destroys
• 26:49
  Speaker 12: a seat, peas all over it and then they leave,
• 26:51
  Speaker 12: that is a human being that is so disconnected from
• 26:56
  Speaker 12: the interconnection of the human experience. You are leaving that
• 27:00
  Speaker 12: for another person, and so making sure that you don't
• 27:04
  Speaker 12: leave your mess for another person, making sure that you
• 27:06
  Speaker 12: just kind of wipe down the counter.
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: And then here's the second thing.
• 27:08
  Speaker 12: If there is a human being cleaning that bathroom, please
• 27:11
  Speaker 12: look in the ai and say thank you all the time,
• 27:14
  Speaker 12: thank you like that right there is a simple thing
• 27:18
  Speaker 12: that will make you start to shake out of that
• 27:22
  Speaker 12: woe is me or that stress or that overwhelmed. Let
• 27:25
  Speaker 12: them know you appreciate and see what they're doing, because
• 27:29
  Speaker 12: it changes who you are. And then you start to
• 27:32
  Speaker 12: see all day long that there are like.
• 27:35
  Speaker 15: You know, I can't look at you the cry people
• 27:38
  Speaker 15: are just walking around disconnected, And the power of starting
• 27:44
  Speaker 15: to be the one that wakes people up.
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: Hey, you know I always get to tell or hey,
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: how's everybody doing? Like it's shocking how we.
• 27:52
  Speaker 12: Have gotten so far away from that sense of community,
• 27:55
  Speaker 12: and there's actually research around this. They call it either
• 27:58
  Speaker 12: weak ties. I call them warm connection. Those people that
• 28:01
  Speaker 12: you see in the building every day, that you say
• 28:02
  Speaker 12: hello to the person that's walking the dog, that you
• 28:06
  Speaker 12: know the name of the dog in your neighborhood. These
• 28:08
  Speaker 12: relationships matter because they make you feel human again.
• 28:12
  Speaker 13: When you feel the impact from what you're doing with
• 28:15
  Speaker 13: your book, and to let them theory like, you just
• 28:17
  Speaker 13: got emotional, not even just about your impact, but just
• 28:19
  Speaker 13: talking about just change in the world. How does it
• 28:22
  Speaker 13: make you feel like do you take a moment just
• 28:24
  Speaker 13: of gratitude and be like, because I saw all the
• 28:26
  Speaker 13: tattoos in the book, and I was like, that's on fire.
• 28:28
  Speaker 13: It's hard to make people like actually believe something that's
• 28:31
  Speaker 13: not tangible.
• 28:32
  Speaker 12: One of the things that you know, For me, I
• 28:35
  Speaker 12: spent so many years like hating myself and feeling like
• 28:40
  Speaker 12: I was a really bad person.
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: And when you get stuck in life, it's easy to
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: think you're the only one.
• 28:47
  Speaker 12: And so I'm just literally on a mission to share
• 28:52
  Speaker 12: whatever I could share and give people access just like
• 28:54
  Speaker 12: you guys, give people access to incredible thinkers and experts
• 28:58
  Speaker 12: and resources. So your work is reaching some way halfway
• 29:02
  Speaker 12: around the world that doesn't even have a toilet in
• 29:05
  Speaker 12: their house.
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: And how incredible is that?
• 29:08
  Speaker 12: And if I can save anybody the headaches and the
• 29:11
  Speaker 12: heartaches that I cause myself for the people that I
• 29:13
  Speaker 12: care about, because I didn't know any better. I didn't
• 29:16
  Speaker 12: know what the problem was. I didn't know how to
• 29:17
  Speaker 12: change myself. I didn't know how to push through the
• 29:19
  Speaker 12: emotion that is a life well lived.
• 29:22
  Speaker 10: Why did you hate yourself though? Because you can't do
• 29:23
  Speaker 10: anything about.
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: What you don't Oh my god, hey, we don't have time.
• 29:26
  Speaker 12: I literally like from the amount of cheating I did
• 29:28
  Speaker 12: when I was little, to the undiagnosed anxiety or the
• 29:32
  Speaker 12: undiagnosed to selexy and ADHD, and how that created tremendous anxiety.
• 29:37
  Speaker 12: So the way that childhood trauma impacted me that I
• 29:40
  Speaker 12: didn't even realize was impacting me, Like it's just chronic.
• 29:43
  Speaker 12: I just did not think I was a bad person.
• 29:45
  Speaker 12: And there's a lot of people walking around that have
• 29:48
  Speaker 12: a hundred times more negative thoughts than they do positive ones,
• 29:53
  Speaker 12: And a lot of people develop a habit of being
• 29:55
  Speaker 12: very self critical. It's never enough, like You're never gonna
• 29:58
  Speaker 12: make it like you're always so stupid.
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: Why did you do that?
• 30:01
  Speaker 12: Either because that's how they were talked to when they
• 30:03
  Speaker 12: were little, or because it's this like almost protective thing
• 30:06
  Speaker 12: that if you beat yourself up first, you're going to
• 30:09
  Speaker 12: catch it before other people do. And I got to
• 30:12
  Speaker 12: a point, and this is an important thing. The only
• 30:15
  Speaker 12: thing you need to make your life better is one decision.
• 30:17
  Speaker 12: How I'm living my life right now and how it
• 30:19
  Speaker 12: feels no longer works for me.
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: That's all you need to know.
• 30:22
  Speaker 12: If you can have the courage to say that to yourself,
• 30:26
  Speaker 12: you now have tipped the first domino because you've made
• 30:28
  Speaker 12: a decision that you want to change how your life feels.
• 30:30
  Speaker 12: You made a decision that you want to change how
• 30:32
  Speaker 12: it feels up here. And for me as a mom,
• 30:35
  Speaker 12: like your kids absorb the way that you treat yourself.
• 30:39
  Speaker 12: And so having two daughters that I started noticing, my god,
• 30:42
  Speaker 12: why are these beautiful young women picking themselves apart? Well
• 30:45
  Speaker 12: because I do. Why are they so hard on it?
• 30:46
  Speaker 12: Because I was so hard on myself. That's how they
• 30:48
  Speaker 12: learn it, And so I don't want them to do
• 30:51
  Speaker 12: that to themselves. And you know, the thing I was
• 30:53
  Speaker 12: going to share that's made a huge difference for me
• 30:55
  Speaker 12: is that I keep the impact front and center, and
• 30:59
  Speaker 12: so we send an email out five days a week.
• 31:02
  Speaker 12: There's a person on our team whose job is to
• 31:04
  Speaker 12: assemble all of the things that people are saying all
• 31:07
  Speaker 12: over the world about the books and the podcast, not
• 31:11
  Speaker 12: about Mel, but about what you learned. And I'll tell
• 31:14
  Speaker 12: you every day there's twenty to thirty of them. And
• 31:17
  Speaker 12: just the other day there was a person who talked
• 31:19
  Speaker 12: about how he was a stepdad and the relationship ended
• 31:24
  Speaker 12: and those step kids were his life and he didn't
• 31:27
  Speaker 12: want to be here anymore. And somebody started to share
• 31:30
  Speaker 12: the podcast with him and he would go and take
• 31:34
  Speaker 12: a walk every morning and listen to the podcast, and
• 31:36
  Speaker 12: it started give him a sense of hope. And now
• 31:38
  Speaker 12: he uses the let them theory. This is a person
• 31:40
  Speaker 12: that actually works in like a police operations control center.
• 31:45
  Speaker 12: Never in a million years what I think this is
• 31:46
  Speaker 12: somebody that's listening to the Mel Robins podcast or listening
• 31:49
  Speaker 12: to this kind of conversation. But it goes to prove
• 31:52
  Speaker 12: that everybody wants to do well, everybody wants to thrive,
• 31:56
  Speaker 12: and you know when you're not doing well.
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: You know, when you're not.
• 31:59
  Speaker 12: Thrit The problem for most of us is just kind
• 32:02
  Speaker 12: of feeling like I don't think this could change. And
• 32:05
  Speaker 12: the fact is horse it can change. If you've ever
• 32:07
  Speaker 12: been happy in your life, you can be happy again.
• 32:10
  Speaker 12: If you've ever been proud of yourself, you can be
• 32:12
  Speaker 12: proud of yourself again. If you've ever forgiven somebody else,
• 32:14
  Speaker 12: you can learn to forgive yourself.
• 32:16
  Speaker 8: And you know, also, God doesn't call to qualify. He
• 32:18
  Speaker 8: qualified the called, and you've been called.
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: Meil Robin, I feel that I love you man, I
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: love you too.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: That's right.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Well, we appreciate you for joining us. Thank you, thank
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: you all right. Well it's Meil Robbins. It's the Breakfast Club.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Good morning morning everybody.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne to God. We are
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: building of Icon Living, Dawn Stanley.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Welcome back.
• 32:39
  Speaker 10: How do you feel?
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: Thank you?
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 32:41
  Speaker 16: Y'all usually come back when we win the championship. We
• 32:43
  Speaker 16: lost this year, So thank you all.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: For you're always invited.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Well time uncommon favorite is out right now basketball in
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: North Philly. My mother and the life lessons I learned
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: from all three is out right? Now, how are you feeling?
• 32:58
  Speaker 10: I'm feeling great.
• 33:00
  Speaker 16: My friends have received their books and they have nothing
• 33:03
  Speaker 16: but like great things like my cup running over.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah it did.
• 33:08
  Speaker 16: I gotta give you a shout out. And you sparked
• 33:12
  Speaker 16: the conversation. So many people have asked me to write
• 33:14
  Speaker 16: a book, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah right,
• 33:17
  Speaker 16: but it came from so many different people. And then
• 33:20
  Speaker 16: when I came on the show in twenty twenty two,
• 33:22
  Speaker 16: we talked about it, and you just you kept the
• 33:25
  Speaker 16: conversation going.
• 33:26
  Speaker 10: You're real persistent with it, you know.
• 33:28
  Speaker 16: That's That's what I'm attracted to most, is like somebody
• 33:31
  Speaker 16: that actually is it persistent yet persistent and know the process,
• 33:36
  Speaker 16: like you knew the process. I don't know if you
• 33:38
  Speaker 16: knew my story, so to speak, but you knew enough
• 33:41
  Speaker 16: to know that you know this, this book will be
• 33:44
  Speaker 16: received well.
• 33:45
  Speaker 10: And I appreciate that well.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: People like you don't come around too often.
• 33:49
  Speaker 8: Don like you are a once in a generational just person,
• 33:52
  Speaker 8: you know, and you really learned that when you read
• 33:54
  Speaker 8: the book, not even just as a coach, but as
• 33:55
  Speaker 8: a basketball player, but more so as a child of Philadelphia.
• 33:59
  Speaker 10: Man, I mean I had fun, Like the process was fun.
• 34:03
  Speaker 10: It's liberating.
• 34:04
  Speaker 16: It is you know, you don't really know how you're
• 34:07
  Speaker 16: going to be received, but every person like I'm actually
• 34:10
  Speaker 16: waiting for a critic, Like I'm waiting for somebody saying
• 34:13
  Speaker 16: what didn't go right in the book, and then we
• 34:16
  Speaker 16: have yet to get to that point. And one of
• 34:18
  Speaker 16: my friends was, you know, listening at a long road trip,
• 34:22
  Speaker 16: listened to the entire book yesterday and she was like,
• 34:25
  Speaker 16: I'm in tears, I'm laughing. I get it, like the
• 34:29
  Speaker 16: leadership part of it, Like I mean, the emotions that
• 34:32
  Speaker 16: are in the book, and it's it's me.
• 34:35
  Speaker 10: So some of it is emotional me.
• 34:36
  Speaker 16: Some of it is just I'm able to just get
• 34:39
  Speaker 16: it out because I remembered most of it and I
• 34:42
  Speaker 16: had to call on my siblings and kind of fill.
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: In the gaps.
• 34:45
  Speaker 16: But it's me, like it it's so me, it's so relatable.
• 34:50
  Speaker 16: It's so it was an easy process.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: So was the therapeutic at all to do it?
• 34:55
  Speaker 16: No, it was just natural. It wasn't like it was natural.
• 34:58
  Speaker 16: And I think sharing my story is just relatable to people.
• 35:03
  Speaker 16: It's not like, you know, I don't think it's an
• 35:05
  Speaker 16: overdo it with the accolades. It's like the accolades are
• 35:09
  Speaker 16: intertwined and everybody's accolades won't be like Olympian and actual champions,
• 35:15
  Speaker 16: but on a certain level, like if you graduate high
• 35:17
  Speaker 16: school it's relatable, if you graduate college is relatable. If
• 35:20
  Speaker 16: you can pull yourself out of the projects of any city,
• 35:24
  Speaker 16: it's relatable. And there's no wrong path, like there's no
• 35:29
  Speaker 16: like you can get off tiltered, but then you got
• 35:32
  Speaker 16: to come back by like habits, come back by. The
• 35:36
  Speaker 16: lessons in the book are just just it relates to
• 35:40
  Speaker 16: every single thing that you would want to accomplish in life.
• 35:42
  Speaker 16: And I'm not just saying that the pump the book,
• 35:44
  Speaker 16: but it really is like I'm only giving what other
• 35:47
  Speaker 16: people are giving me, the feedback they're giving me.
• 35:50
  Speaker 10: And it's cool to hear people just relate to the book.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, I love it because you know, people know you
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: from different things, right, Some people know you as a player,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: some people know you as a coach.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: But with this book, it starts from where you came from,
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: which is North.
• 36:02
  Speaker 8: Philly, right, And you talk about rosenhousing projects and you
• 36:05
  Speaker 8: talk about you know, you.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Said growing up in the projects was the best decision
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: your parents made. Explain that a little bit in how
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: that formed to the woman that.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: You are today.
• 36:14
  Speaker 16: Just imagine the people that don't grow up in the projects.
• 36:17
  Speaker 16: What you think happens in the projects. You think probably
• 36:20
  Speaker 16: only one thing, crime like bad things like And for me,
• 36:24
  Speaker 16: it was the foundation of giving me the scars I needed,
• 36:28
  Speaker 16: the chinks and the armor I needed to succeed. Like
• 36:32
  Speaker 16: there was unity in the projects. There was discipline in
• 36:36
  Speaker 16: the projects that was manicure lawns. There was my block
• 36:40
  Speaker 16: I grew up, never had trash in it, like it
• 36:43
  Speaker 16: was captain in a way that would compete with any
• 36:47
  Speaker 16: suburban lawn like or neighborhood. So it was it was
• 36:51
  Speaker 16: all those things that helped build you up, Like I'm
• 36:55
  Speaker 16: unbothered and unafraid to tackle on the most challenging things
• 37:00
  Speaker 16: life because that's nothing compared to what that's nothing like.
• 37:04
  Speaker 10: So I think it gave me the foundation.
• 37:07
  Speaker 16: I needed to just be able to coach every day,
• 37:10
  Speaker 16: like coach young people, like generations are changing. Coaching talent
• 37:14
  Speaker 16: and individuals and young people nowadays, it's very very challenging.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: I love how you embrace your inn a child.
• 37:20
  Speaker 8: That's what I love this picture on that ask what's
• 37:22
  Speaker 8: the moment from your childhood that still shapes how you
• 37:25
  Speaker 8: like handle pressure to day.
• 37:26
  Speaker 16: You know, there's a story that I that I share
• 37:29
  Speaker 16: in the book about my father, who I mean, I'm
• 37:32
  Speaker 16: over fifty now, right, but when he I don't know
• 37:36
  Speaker 16: if I was twelve fourteen, maybe I got invited to
• 37:39
  Speaker 16: play on this team and this competition outside of Philly,
• 37:43
  Speaker 16: like it was a road trip and my father was like, no,
• 37:46
  Speaker 16: you can't go.
• 37:47
  Speaker 10: Like that hurt me, Like it really hurt me.
• 37:50
  Speaker 16: And I remembered it so vividly that for him to
• 37:53
  Speaker 16: deny me that because it was one of the first times.
• 37:55
  Speaker 16: But I'm thirteen, fourteen years old, whose parents gonna let
• 37:58
  Speaker 16: them somebody take their child out of state? Like I
• 38:03
  Speaker 16: wasn't thinking about that. I was solely thinking about basketball.
• 38:06
  Speaker 16: But it was one of the one of the experiences
• 38:09
  Speaker 16: that drove.
• 38:09
  Speaker 10: Me, like didn't I didn't like my father for that,
• 38:13
  Speaker 10: Like I didn't like.
• 38:13
  Speaker 16: Him for the decision parental decision that he made. But
• 38:18
  Speaker 16: as I'm older now and reflecting on and writing a book,
• 38:21
  Speaker 16: it is I need conflict.
• 38:23
  Speaker 10: I know that about myself that I need conflict.
• 38:26
  Speaker 16: Like everything can't be comfortable, Like if I have you know,
• 38:30
  Speaker 16: ten people supporting me, you know here, I need about.
• 38:33
  Speaker 10: Ten to twelve people that hated like I need it.
• 38:36
  Speaker 10: I mean, it helps me. It drives me, like it
• 38:40
  Speaker 10: drives me. While you said, I don't have a critic yet,
• 38:42
  Speaker 10: I'm waiting for the book right now, right, So it's
• 38:46
  Speaker 10: that is the ability.
• 38:48
  Speaker 16: Like you know, we lost to Yukon this year, Like
• 38:51
  Speaker 16: you know, the critics are saying I can't coach, like
• 38:57
  Speaker 16: that's what they say. But I'm like, okay, well but
• 38:59
  Speaker 16: but again, everything that I've needed in my life, you know,
• 39:02
  Speaker 16: failure success happens to me.
• 39:06
  Speaker 10: It's uncommon. Like, but I know our loss this year
• 39:09
  Speaker 10: will somehow help us. It will.
• 39:12
  Speaker 16: I'm not just relying on it helping us. I'm gonna
• 39:16
  Speaker 16: put action to it, so it means something.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: I love them.
• 39:20
  Speaker 8: You said that in a postgame conference. You was like,
• 39:22
  Speaker 8: I hope that they're crying. I hope that my players
• 39:24
  Speaker 8: are crying. I hope that it hurts. That'll make them
• 39:27
  Speaker 8: be better next hit.
• 39:28
  Speaker 16: Yeah, I mean, the most growth takes place when you're uncomfortable,
• 39:32
  Speaker 16: the most if you're comfortable all the time. And I've
• 39:35
  Speaker 16: said this as well, like parents really don't want their
• 39:39
  Speaker 16: kids to feel what they felt like pain, and I'm like,
• 39:43
  Speaker 16: I want them to feel a little pain.
• 39:45
  Speaker 10: I want them to hurt. I want them to be uncomfortable,
• 39:47
  Speaker 10: and I love them enough.
• 39:48
  Speaker 16: To allow them to sit in that space because not
• 39:51
  Speaker 16: for long, but they need to fight their way out
• 39:54
  Speaker 16: of it, because nothing's gonna be given to me.
• 39:56
  Speaker 10: I don't like that place.
• 39:57
  Speaker 16: I don't like to feel that, so fight like hell
• 40:01
  Speaker 16: to try to not feel that, by repering, by doing
• 40:04
  Speaker 16: everything I need to do to not feel that.
• 40:06
  Speaker 10: It's almost like.
• 40:07
  Speaker 16: When you grow up in the projects and you grow
• 40:09
  Speaker 16: up in poverty, you don't want that anymore, Like you
• 40:12
  Speaker 16: don't want that once you've lived and you've you know
• 40:15
  Speaker 16: you've earned a certain keep. You want to keep that
• 40:18
  Speaker 16: because you want to change generations in your in your family,
• 40:22
  Speaker 16: and I hope I'm able.
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: To do that.
• 40:24
  Speaker 8: You seem like you've always been a natural born leader,
• 40:28
  Speaker 8: like throughout your whole life, even when you were the child.
• 40:30
  Speaker 8: So it made me wonder if if coaching never entered
• 40:32
  Speaker 8: your life, where do you think your leadership would have
• 40:34
  Speaker 8: shown up?
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: If that?
• 40:35
  Speaker 10: Oh man, that's a hard question.
• 40:37
  Speaker 16: Like I'm competitive, I probably would have been a losing gambler.
• 40:43
  Speaker 10: Try like trying, like I don't know. I mean, I do.
• 40:49
  Speaker 16: I love kids, so my work would have been with kids.
• 40:52
  Speaker 16: And I'm glad that coaching found me. Like I'm glad
• 40:56
  Speaker 16: somebody saw something in me that I didn't see it myself.
• 40:59
  Speaker 16: I didn't see coaches. I didn't want to coach at all.
• 41:02
  Speaker 16: And I don't know why, because I had great coaches.
• 41:04
  Speaker 16: I had great people in my life that challenged me,
• 41:08
  Speaker 16: that were good at it. But when I had coaching friends,
• 41:12
  Speaker 16: the only thing they talked about were their teams in basketball.
• 41:16
  Speaker 10: And I'm like, yeah, this is what I do every day.
• 41:18
  Speaker 10: I do this every day.
• 41:19
  Speaker 16: Why would I want to talk about it every day?
• 41:21
  Speaker 16: Why would I want my life consume with it? And
• 41:24
  Speaker 16: here I am, twenty five years later, like loving it,
• 41:27
  Speaker 16: like it's I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
• 41:30
  Speaker 16: And when you when you're able to live out your passion,
• 41:32
  Speaker 16: it's the most beautiful, liberating and incredible experience. I know
• 41:37
  Speaker 16: my players really get something out of our relationship. They do,
• 41:41
  Speaker 16: they get they build character, they navigate life. But for
• 41:45
  Speaker 16: me is I'm overjoyed when they graduate. I'm overjoyed on
• 41:48
  Speaker 16: draft night. I'm overjoyed when they're able to see their
• 41:53
  Speaker 16: hard work produce what they wanted, Like, even if they
• 41:56
  Speaker 16: don't make it to the league, they're equipped with being
• 41:59
  Speaker 16: successful with anything in it. Like, seriously, that does something
• 42:03
  Speaker 16: to my heart when young people were able to get
• 42:05
  Speaker 16: what they're supposed to be.
• 42:06
  Speaker 8: You know, you talked about your players, You got a
• 42:08
  Speaker 8: lot of success stories from your time coaching at the
• 42:10
  Speaker 8: University of South Carolina.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: But in the book, you make it no secret that
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Asia Wish is your favorite.
• 42:14
  Speaker 16: Well, I mean, I mean, here's why, And I don't
• 42:17
  Speaker 16: I've coached a lot of great players, Like Asia was
• 42:20
  Speaker 16: the very first player that was the number one play
• 42:24
  Speaker 16: in the country to decide she wanted to come play
• 42:27
  Speaker 16: for us, and I know it's in her backyard. And
• 42:29
  Speaker 16: we didn't We didn't look like a national championship team,
• 42:32
  Speaker 16: Like we never won a national we had never been
• 42:35
  Speaker 16: to the final four. So for her to trust us
• 42:39
  Speaker 16: with that part of her career meant that she believed
• 42:42
  Speaker 16: in us. She trusted us, she knew that we were
• 42:46
  Speaker 16: going to get her to where she needed to go.
• 42:49
  Speaker 16: As far as still being the number one draft pick,
• 42:52
  Speaker 16: like four years later, like when someone and it wasn't
• 42:56
  Speaker 16: just her, it was her entire family believed in it,
• 42:59
  Speaker 16: and it took some at times them thinking did we
• 43:04
  Speaker 16: make the right decision?
• 43:06
  Speaker 10: Because she did. She started her first game and then
• 43:09
  Speaker 10: she was terrible, like scrub like right, scrub like scrub like.
• 43:16
  Speaker 10: So I was like, I gotta gotta.
• 43:17
  Speaker 16: Take you out of starting lineup. But I ain't even
• 43:20
  Speaker 16: taught her that. I told her parents first, and her
• 43:23
  Speaker 16: mom even was like you sure, like you're gonna have
• 43:27
  Speaker 16: to trust me on this one, Like You're just gonna
• 43:29
  Speaker 16: have to trust me, And she was like all right.
• 43:31
  Speaker 16: But at the end of her freshman year, she was
• 43:34
  Speaker 16: National Rookie of the Year, she was first team All SEC.
• 43:38
  Speaker 16: She was Rookie of the Year in the SE's like
• 43:40
  Speaker 16: she got all the accolades coming off the bench. And
• 43:44
  Speaker 16: when someone as a coach and leader and mentored young
• 43:47
  Speaker 16: people believe in you like they really do, when that's reciprocated.
• 43:52
  Speaker 16: Because I believe that, I knew that she was going
• 43:54
  Speaker 16: to be the one that takes us to that next
• 43:56
  Speaker 16: level when you're able to have the same synergy. You know,
• 44:00
  Speaker 16: Asia was hell to deal with, right because she's young,
• 44:05
  Speaker 16: like she with the private school for like twelve years.
• 44:08
  Speaker 16: All of her schooling was a private school, so she
• 44:12
  Speaker 16: needed to be roughened up a little bit to get
• 44:14
  Speaker 16: her ready for what she faced. Like she faces the
• 44:17
  Speaker 16: critics right now, but I know she can handle them
• 44:20
  Speaker 16: because we took her through all of that. Like she
• 44:23
  Speaker 16: had dyslexia right throughout her college career. And I'm like, Okay,
• 44:28
  Speaker 16: you're going to read in front of the team every
• 44:30
  Speaker 16: time we have a game because we have a like
• 44:32
  Speaker 16: a scripture reading and an inspirational reading before every pregame
• 44:36
  Speaker 16: meal and there's somebody that has to read it.
• 44:39
  Speaker 10: So I was like, you're gonna read that. It took
• 44:41
  Speaker 10: her her senior year.
• 44:43
  Speaker 16: Couldn't do it the first second, the third her senior year,
• 44:45
  Speaker 16: she read out loud.
• 44:47
  Speaker 10: And she had fun with it.
• 44:48
  Speaker 16: She had, y'all, this is along, y'all gonna have to
• 44:50
  Speaker 16: bear with me, Like it was that kind of liberation.
• 44:54
  Speaker 16: So when she gave her entire self to me, the good,
• 44:58
  Speaker 16: the bad, the ugly, higher you know, that's why I
• 45:01
  Speaker 16: just have a really strong like relationship with her, Like
• 45:05
  Speaker 16: she could tell me anything, like I'm non judgmental, Like
• 45:09
  Speaker 16: young people won't want to tell you everything because they
• 45:12
  Speaker 16: think you're gonna judge them.
• 45:13
  Speaker 10: I don't judge.
• 45:14
  Speaker 16: Like, there's nothing that any one of my current former
• 45:18
  Speaker 16: future players can tell me that that's gonna rock me
• 45:20
  Speaker 16: that I haven't seen, like everybody's been through. Like there's
• 45:23
  Speaker 16: no new problems. It's the same old, recycled problems. So
• 45:27
  Speaker 16: just give it here so you're not dealing with it
• 45:29
  Speaker 16: longer than you need to.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting record.
• 45:32
  Speaker 8: I was watching you. You did Good Morning in America
• 45:34
  Speaker 8: to view Kobe all of that stuff like that. So
• 45:35
  Speaker 8: you was working, but I still know you still the
• 45:37
  Speaker 8: coach at the University of South Carolina. But I was like, oh,
• 45:40
  Speaker 8: you know what, she'll be fine because she used to
• 45:42
  Speaker 8: play ball and coach at the same time, which I
• 45:45
  Speaker 8: found out about.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: In the book. That was insane. Six years. That's crazy
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: six years.
• 45:50
  Speaker 16: I mean when I got into coaching, I was like
• 45:52
  Speaker 16: in my prime, so you know the ad at the time,
• 45:57
  Speaker 16: he kept asking me, like he was persistent, like I'm like, no, no,
• 46:01
  Speaker 16: I'm not interested. I'm playing in a wnba is And
• 46:05
  Speaker 16: then he just kept asking, and then I ended up
• 46:08
  Speaker 16: having to go meet with him because the final four
• 46:10
  Speaker 16: was in Philly, I'm from Philly. He knew I was
• 46:12
  Speaker 16: going to be there, so I went and sat down
• 46:14
  Speaker 16: with him and he asked me two questions. He was like,
• 46:17
  Speaker 16: can you lead? Did you do your research? Did you
• 46:20
  Speaker 16: like and I was like yeah, I basically was the
• 46:23
  Speaker 16: captain on every team that I played on? Right, And
• 46:26
  Speaker 16: then he was like, can you turn Temple women's basketball
• 46:28
  Speaker 16: program around?
• 46:29
  Speaker 10: I was like, oh, is that a challenge?
• 46:32
  Speaker 16: Like is that really a challenge because I'm drawing the
• 46:34
  Speaker 16: challenges and I never answered the question. I don't even
• 46:37
  Speaker 16: think I answered the question. He was like, hey, can
• 46:39
  Speaker 16: you just come down the hall and meet some people?
• 46:42
  Speaker 16: So I was like, okay, I'm here. He took me
• 46:44
  Speaker 16: in this conference room, sat me at the head of
• 46:46
  Speaker 16: the table and they were like ten to twelve people
• 46:49
  Speaker 16: sitting around this table and they're asking me questions like
• 46:52
  Speaker 16: what do you see yourself in five years? I'm like
• 46:54
  Speaker 16: playing in a WNBA And they were like, do you
• 46:56
  Speaker 16: ever see yourself coaching?
• 46:58
  Speaker 10: And I'm like no, y'all. They were interviewing me.
• 47:01
  Speaker 16: I was on a job interview and I didn't know
• 47:04
  Speaker 16: it because all my job interviews were tryouts, like basketball
• 47:08
  Speaker 16: like physical tryouts. Needless to say, I took the job
• 47:11
  Speaker 16: two weeks later, they just agreed to allow me to
• 47:15
  Speaker 16: continue to play and coach. So I was in like
• 47:18
  Speaker 16: basketball utopia because I was coaching and I'm actually still
• 47:23
  Speaker 16: able to express myself on the court because I wasn't
• 47:26
  Speaker 16: ready to hang up my shoes. I was still very
• 47:29
  Speaker 16: much a player, and I think that allowed me to
• 47:33
  Speaker 16: play a little bit longer than I wanted to, and
• 47:36
  Speaker 16: that allowed me to keep staying fresh with what was
• 47:39
  Speaker 16: up with teaching young people because they were more enthralled
• 47:44
  Speaker 16: with me playing because that's what they wanted, like I
• 47:47
  Speaker 16: was living.
• 47:47
  Speaker 10: Their dream right before their very eyes.
• 47:50
  Speaker 16: And I think it just helped me be a better coach,
• 47:54
  Speaker 16: be a more understanding coach because I was a player
• 47:58
  Speaker 16: receiving information from a coach, and then I just helped
• 48:02
  Speaker 16: the dynamics of what I was doing.
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: I wanted to ask about your father, right.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: You mentioned your father earlier and you said your relationship
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: wasn't that great, but you said it got better over
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: the years. Do you understand some of the things that
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: your father was trying to implement in you as a
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: young girl, because they said that your father looked at
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: women's basketball and felt that wasn't too many opportunities and
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: didn't know if you could sustain at that time. And
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: do you wish that you kind of put yourself in
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: his mentality back then as a child, because even with
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: the name of the book, it says basketball in North
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Philly my mother but not my father.
• 48:33
  Speaker 16: Explain, no, no, no, you know, I think I think
• 48:40
  Speaker 16: even the one like family members that are that are
• 48:44
  Speaker 16: closest to you, Yes, I thought, I, Yes, I should
• 48:48
  Speaker 16: have had had a much more mature outlook on that
• 48:52
  Speaker 16: relationship now that you can reflect on it, now that
• 48:55
  Speaker 16: you can see because I held that and I you know,
• 48:58
  Speaker 16: if you could hear you, I still that instance. But
• 49:02
  Speaker 16: when you're coaching, right, you come into a situation where
• 49:06
  Speaker 16: you hurt a player, like you hurt that player that
• 49:08
  Speaker 16: was like probably twelve years ago, I hurt that player
• 49:11
  Speaker 16: like it drives me to not hurt other players. And
• 49:15
  Speaker 16: I wasn't mature enough or savvy enough to handle that
• 49:18
  Speaker 16: at twelve or thirteen. So I do think it's helped
• 49:22
  Speaker 16: me be a better coach, It helps me be a
• 49:25
  Speaker 16: better person to really like again, I didn't talk about
• 49:29
  Speaker 16: things I held that my father probably didn't probably doesn't
• 49:32
  Speaker 16: he's been dead and gone since two thousand and one, Like,
• 49:37
  Speaker 16: I don't even think he really knew how much that
• 49:40
  Speaker 16: hurt me.
• 49:41
  Speaker 10: But also use that to navigate the nose, like I
• 49:46
  Speaker 10: handle those a lot better because of that.
• 49:49
  Speaker 8: I love to respect the power of habits chapter And
• 49:52
  Speaker 8: in that chapter, you speak extremely highly of South Carolina's
• 49:56
  Speaker 8: on Malaysia for a while, and you even refer to
• 49:59
  Speaker 8: her as a young, good, savvyer version of you. You say,
• 50:02
  Speaker 8: this is a quote I heard from so many adults
• 50:03
  Speaker 8: who gave their own parents hell, only to see that
• 50:06
  Speaker 8: teenagers return to favor. Now it's my turn in the bottle.
• 50:09
  Speaker 8: So when I see you had when I read that,
• 50:11
  Speaker 8: and I was like, she had so much love for Malaysia.
• 50:13
  Speaker 8: What was your initial reaction when she decided to enter
• 50:16
  Speaker 8: the portal? And was it surprising to you?
• 50:19
  Speaker 10: Surprising?
• 50:20
  Speaker 17: No?
• 50:20
  Speaker 16: I think you know, being in this space, you become
• 50:24
  Speaker 16: to expect the unexpected, right, I still have much love
• 50:28
  Speaker 16: for Malisia, like much love, like I want to happy.
• 50:30
  Speaker 10: She and a mom came in. She said, I think
• 50:33
  Speaker 10: I'm want to get into the transfer portal.
• 50:34
  Speaker 16: So I'm like, okay, well you think or you know,
• 50:36
  Speaker 16: And she said, I know, and I said, well, only
• 50:39
  Speaker 16: want you happy, Like I really do, only want our
• 50:42
  Speaker 16: players happy, whether that's with us or somewhere else.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: Just be happy.
• 50:47
  Speaker 16: I told her, don't look back. I know it's probably
• 50:49
  Speaker 16: gonna be hard to not look back to see you know,
• 50:52
  Speaker 16: you leaving your hometown and all that. I said, don't
• 50:55
  Speaker 16: look back like you made this decision. Just go forward
• 50:58
  Speaker 16: with it and don't look back. You're always gonna be
• 51:02
  Speaker 16: a game cock, You're always gonna be welcomed here. I
• 51:04
  Speaker 16: wish her the best. And when I say that, people
• 51:06
  Speaker 16: probably think, oh, but I do, like I really do, like,
• 51:11
  Speaker 16: cause I am what's for us is for us, what's
• 51:14
  Speaker 16: not it was not.
• 51:16
  Speaker 10: Let's keep moving. I don't stay in despair.
• 51:18
  Speaker 16: I don't stay in those spaces for very long. I'm like, Okay,
• 51:22
  Speaker 16: we gotta get recruiting. We gotta get back into this
• 51:25
  Speaker 16: portal to see who we can get to help us.
• 51:27
  Speaker 16: I think she's gonna have a promising career. I do
• 51:30
  Speaker 16: think she's a generational talent that will never leave.
• 51:33
  Speaker 17: Like.
• 51:33
  Speaker 16: She does things on the basketball court that I've never
• 51:36
  Speaker 16: seen a woman do, and she's she'll continue to do
• 51:39
  Speaker 16: that and will continue to be happy for her except
• 51:44
  Speaker 16: the one or two times that we have to play
• 51:45
  Speaker 16: them like.
• 51:46
  Speaker 10: It's on, like it's this. She's gonna be super competitive
• 51:49
  Speaker 10: against us.
• 51:50
  Speaker 16: We're gonna we're gonna want to win, and it's gonna
• 51:52
  Speaker 16: be a pride thing that comes with just being a competitor.
• 51:56
  Speaker 10: And we got much love for her and the family.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Now this this has nothing to do with the boat,
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: but I wanted to ask us were talking about players.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: You know, WNBA has taken a huge jump in the
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: last couple of years and I love it. My daughters
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: love it, my sons love it. What do you think
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: what's going on in the WNBA with it? It seems
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: like they're pitting you know, Caitlyn Clark against angel Reaes right,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: kind of what they did in the NBA back in
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: the day.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: But it was more teams, right, I guess not maybe
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: not teams. It was Magic Bird.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: This one is that one, But this one it just
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: seems like it seems very personable. So what are your thoughts,
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: Like even the other day with that foul and they
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: called it a flagrant foul, I don't necessarily agree, but
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on it?
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 52:31
  Speaker 16: I think the officiating has a hard job. That's one
• 52:34
  Speaker 16: the decipher whether or not that's a flagrant one or not.
• 52:37
  Speaker 10: Hard job. And I do think they understand the dynamics
• 52:41
  Speaker 10: of Angel and Caitlyn.
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: I do.
• 52:43
  Speaker 16: I think it's great for our game because it's like Burke, Yeah,
• 52:46
  Speaker 16: like it's a sport. Treat us like a sport. Don't
• 52:49
  Speaker 16: treat us anything other than being a sport. It happens
• 52:53
  Speaker 16: in every sport, Soccer, basketball, football, it happens in every sport.
• 52:57
  Speaker 10: So let it be.
• 52:58
  Speaker 16: I'm gonna I'm gonna take the lead of Angel and Caitlin.
• 53:02
  Speaker 16: And that lead is they said it was a it
• 53:05
  Speaker 16: was a file. The officials got it right. We're moving on.
• 53:08
  Speaker 10: That's what I'm Saying'm gonna take their lead.
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 53:11
  Speaker 10: I think it's it pulls people in.
• 53:13
  Speaker 16: I do think there are new fans that haven't watched
• 53:17
  Speaker 16: our game and they really don't know so they only
• 53:20
  Speaker 16: they're only singlely focused on Kate one, right, right, So
• 53:24
  Speaker 16: when you're that and that's that's their idol, that's who
• 53:27
  Speaker 16: attracts them. But I just hope that they'll open their
• 53:32
  Speaker 16: eyes to the rest of the talent that is there.
• 53:36
  Speaker 10: Like the product. The product is incredible, like and it's
• 53:40
  Speaker 10: in high demand.
• 53:41
  Speaker 16: We played Caitlin in the National Championship last year, right,
• 53:45
  Speaker 16: twenty million A topped off at whatever.
• 53:48
  Speaker 10: It topped off at the most. I know they saw
• 53:50
  Speaker 10: us like I.
• 53:51
  Speaker 16: Know they saw us. I know they saw us have
• 53:54
  Speaker 16: an undefeated season. I know they saw Camilla Cardozo. I
• 53:58
  Speaker 16: know they saw Ashton Watchase. I know they saw Tessa
• 54:00
  Speaker 16: Johnson have an incredible care career or day. I know
• 54:04
  Speaker 16: they saw my Lasier do some incredible things like so,
• 54:08
  Speaker 16: so open your eyes up to seeing outside of Caitlin,
• 54:11
  Speaker 16: well not even outside included, because she's a part of
• 54:14
  Speaker 16: a part of it all.
• 54:15
  Speaker 10: So you know, I'm looking.
• 54:18
  Speaker 16: Forward to the next time they play too. I'm gonna
• 54:20
  Speaker 16: be glueden just like everybody else.
• 54:21
  Speaker 8: Yes, I want to go back to that that chapter
• 54:24
  Speaker 8: of respect, the power of habits right when you talk
• 54:27
  Speaker 8: about Malaysia, it is with such reference. How do you
• 54:29
  Speaker 8: balance disappointment as a coach with support for somebody like
• 54:32
  Speaker 8: her who just wanted to make a decision for herself.
• 54:34
  Speaker 10: If a young person is going to speak on what
• 54:38
  Speaker 10: they deem, it is good for them.
• 54:40
  Speaker 16: That's half the battle, like half the battles to be
• 54:43
  Speaker 16: able to speak up and you know how hard it
• 54:45
  Speaker 16: was for her to do that, like really hard, really hard.
• 54:48
  Speaker 16: So I understand that dynamics of her decision making. And
• 54:52
  Speaker 16: then it's like, okay, well what do you do with it?
• 54:55
  Speaker 16: Like if she was my player and there was a
• 54:58
  Speaker 16: chance for her to want to come back, or if
• 55:01
  Speaker 16: she decided that this is that, that's not what she
• 55:03
  Speaker 16: wanted to do, I was gonna talk to her about why, why,
• 55:07
  Speaker 16: why did it come to that? What makes you think
• 55:09
  Speaker 16: this isn't a place for whatever? She said we would
• 55:13
  Speaker 16: we would go from there. I thought Malaysia. Malaysia was
• 55:16
  Speaker 16: getting better, like I really, I saw a whole lot
• 55:19
  Speaker 16: of growth on and off the court to where unless
• 55:22
  Speaker 16: she was gonna get the best of her now, Like
• 55:25
  Speaker 16: we went through the you know, we went through the
• 55:27
  Speaker 16: hard part of just kind of smoothing some rough edges
• 55:30
  Speaker 16: and getting her to create good habits, like like I
• 55:34
  Speaker 16: do think habits.
• 55:35
  Speaker 10: Are the thing that allows you to elevate, right, I do.
• 55:40
  Speaker 16: So I think I think what we've given her and
• 55:43
  Speaker 16: what she's given us will allow her to have much
• 55:46
  Speaker 16: better days, much more consistent.
• 55:48
  Speaker 10: Days than she had with us at her next stop, Well,
• 55:51
  Speaker 10: thank you.
• 55:52
  Speaker 8: Don new book uncommon favor of basketball in North Philly,
• 55:55
  Speaker 8: my mother, and the life lessons I learned from all
• 55:56
  Speaker 8: three is available everywhere you buy books.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: Now go get it.
• 55:59
  Speaker 8: You are guaranteed to learn something you are living done.
• 56:03
  Speaker 8: We appreciate your presence on this earth. We thank God
• 56:06
  Speaker 8: for you.
• 56:06
  Speaker 10: Thank you, thank you.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: It's the breakfast Club. Good morning, Damn he did. It's
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: time for donkey, I mean, trying to be donky today.
• 56:16
  Speaker 4: No more.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: not making new people do these.
• 56:20
  Speaker 10: Things called donkey of the day, and it really caught
• 56:23
  Speaker 10: me off guard.
• 56:24
  Speaker 16: Damn son, who got the donkey out of the day today?
• 56:29
  Speaker 8: Well, just hilarious donkey todayve goes to a twenty year
• 56:31
  Speaker 8: old New Jersey man named Edward Kane.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, like the Conqueror King.
• 56:35
  Speaker 8: Okay, he is facing an attempted murder charge after allegedly
• 56:39
  Speaker 8: got to say, allegedly flying to Florida, impressing somebody who
• 56:43
  Speaker 8: was talking crazy on the internet.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: In my mind, I'm all for this.
• 56:46
  Speaker 8: Okay, because you should not be able to talk reckless
• 56:49
  Speaker 8: from the comfort of your own home and not get
• 56:51
  Speaker 8: approached about it.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's the problem. With the Internet.
• 56:53
  Speaker 8: People think they can say any damn thing because they
• 56:56
  Speaker 8: never got punched in their face for saying any damn thing. Well,
• 56:59
  Speaker 8: Edward Cane is a gamer, okay, and he is now
• 57:01
  Speaker 8: facing an attempted murder charge after flying to Florida and
• 57:05
  Speaker 8: attacking a fellow gamer with a hammer over an online dispute.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: Let's go to the First Coast New thirty p police.
• 57:11
  Speaker 17: There's some things that make me say, what in the
• 57:14
  Speaker 17: world was he thinking?
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: That's reaction after twenty year old Edward King flew from
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: New Jersey to Jacksonville, Florida, and attacked a man he
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: argued with during an online game called Archage. Police say
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: King bought a hammer at a hardware store and then
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: went to the victim's home in Fernandina Beach around two
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: am Sunday. The door was unlocked, according to investigators, and
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: the victim was playing a game in his room but
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: took a break to use the bathroom.
• 57:42
  Speaker 17: Once he opened the door, he noticed the suspect standing
• 57:45
  Speaker 17: with a hammer raised in the air in an anticipated
• 57:47
  Speaker 17: strike position. Suspect was wearing all black gloves.
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: And a mask.
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: This is the hammer King used in the attack. The
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: victim fought back, and the victim's stepdad was awoken by
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: this sounds. He then helped the victim hold King until
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: police arrived.
• 58:04
  Speaker 17: The suspect asked our deputy, how much time in jail
• 58:08
  Speaker 17: do you get for breaking an enterim and assault? And
• 58:10
  Speaker 17: I would say, mister Kane, it's gonna be a long
• 58:12
  Speaker 17: time before you play video games again.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: Burn Burn more details if you're wondering.
• 58:20
  Speaker 8: Edward Kane told his family he was going to meet
• 58:22
  Speaker 8: a friend he met years ago through the online video
• 58:24
  Speaker 8: game arch Age, which will no longer be accessible in
• 58:27
  Speaker 8: the United States because of the declining number of back
• 58:29
  Speaker 8: to players. So he flew from Newark to Jacksonville, went
• 58:32
  Speaker 8: to a hotel near the victim's home, purchased a hammer
• 58:35
  Speaker 8: and a flashlight at a hardware store.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: I'm shocked he just didn't buy a gun.
• 58:39
  Speaker 8: Okay, Floyda don't require a permit to buy a gun,
• 58:41
  Speaker 8: nor is there a permit that exists any person from
• 58:43
  Speaker 8: the background check requirement.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: So the moral of the story is, you could have
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: bought a different type of hammer, Edward, but thank god
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: he didn't. Now how did he get to Addie? I
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 58:51
  Speaker 8: This sounds to me like the other online gave it
• 58:53
  Speaker 8: must have dropped the location because he thought he couldn't
• 58:55
  Speaker 8: be touched, and Edward Kane said stop hammer time. Now,
• 58:58
  Speaker 8: I'm gonna tell you something. This is very ninja like it.
• 59:00
  Speaker 8: When I say ninja, I'm not using that as a
• 59:02
  Speaker 8: substitute for the N word. I'm talking actual ninjas, like
• 59:05
  Speaker 8: teenage mutant turtles, like a person skilled in the Japanese
• 59:09
  Speaker 8: art of ninjitsu, okay, wearing all black, black gloves, black masks,
• 59:13
  Speaker 8: sneaking in the unlocked dogs, waiting to tell dude, waiting
• 59:16
  Speaker 8: un till dude got up to go to the bathroom,
• 59:17
  Speaker 8: and then attacking him with a hammer.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: Now, the victim was the.
• 59:20
  Speaker 8: Same age as Edward King, twenty years old, and he
• 59:22
  Speaker 8: was as you heard, you know. He was able to
• 59:24
  Speaker 8: wrestle Edward to the ground, and stepfather woke up and
• 59:26
  Speaker 8: they were able to take the hammo away Florida. I
• 59:29
  Speaker 8: gotta say, man, y'all getting soft, okay, y'all letting people
• 59:32
  Speaker 8: fly from out of state to Florida, arms with nothing
• 59:34
  Speaker 8: but a tool, breaking in y'all houses, attacking y'all and
• 59:37
  Speaker 8: nobody getting shot. I have zero remorse for individuals who
• 59:41
  Speaker 8: breaking the other individual's houses. If you are bold enough
• 59:43
  Speaker 8: to break into my sanctuary of peace, then guess what
• 59:46
  Speaker 8: you will rest in that piece.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, I don't care how old you are.
• 59:49
  Speaker 8: I'm not asking for no damn id. When you're breaking
• 59:51
  Speaker 8: to my place of residence for any reason. You're breaking
• 59:54
  Speaker 8: the people's houses when they are at home, you deserve
• 59:56
  Speaker 8: to get whatever comes with that, even if it's deaf. Now,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 8: you heard the sheriff say they asked Kan what his
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 8: motive was, and he allegedly told deputies that the victim
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 8: is a bad person online. Well guess what, Edward, you
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 8: have grown to be a bad person in real life. Okay,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 8: there's nothing this person said to you online that equates
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 8: to you receiving second degree murder in arm burglary charges. Now,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 8: Edward Kan, you know you heard him ask the officer.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 8: You know how much jail time do you receive from
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 8: breaking and entering? An officer said, I would say, mister King,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 8: will be a long time before you play.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: Video games ever. Again. I like that kind of petty.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 8: This is a prime example of why you have to
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 8: learn from the mistakes of others. Okay, Edward King did
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 8: what so many of us have wanted to do. Okay,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 8: pulled up on someone talking reckless online and beat the
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 8: mother loving ass.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: That was a beet.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 8: Edit, I'll beat your mother loving ass. Why can't I
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 8: love my mother? Even though it may sound good, I'm
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 8: gonna roll up on him and beat his ass. At
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 8: the end of the day, it's not good.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 8: This twenty year old the second degree murder charge and
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 8: a burglary charge, and you know. Sheriff Bill Leeper said
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 8: this incident serves as a stark reminder of the potential
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 8: real world consequences of online interaction.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: I don't encourage behavior like Edward Kan, but.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 8: I understand it, and I truly believe folks should talk
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 8: to people online the way you do in the real world,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 8: because you just never know. Disrespect the wrong person and
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 8: they may be maybe at your front door dressed in
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 8: all black like the omen. Next thing you know your
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 8: friends is singing this is for my homie. Please let
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 8: remy ma give Edward Kang the biggest he haw.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 10: He haw he ha, You stupid mother?
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: Are you dumb?
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: There's nothing left to do but play a game of
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: guess what raise it?
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 8: Edward Kan, twenty years old, from Newark, New Jersey, flew
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 8: from Newarton, New Jersey, to Jacksonville, Florida, and beat up
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 8: a man who was talking spicy online dj NB.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 10: Guess what is.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: Damn?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: It's a tough onec go black, that's why? Tell me
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: why because he was dressed in all wow.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: No no no, because sometimes you push people too much.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: And you said Newark, New Jersey, So I forgure Newark
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: is predominantly black. Right he flew out there, and is
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: it beat the guy's ass?
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, well I figured that, Okay, just hilarious.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 8: Edward Came twenty years old, flew from Newark, New Jersey
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 8: to Jacksonville, Florida, and beat up a man who was
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 8: talking spikes for online.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Yes what racious Asian wop and comingdam start.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 18: My last name is came and then Newark has been gentrified,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 18: still being gentrified.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it's being gentrified that much?
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 7: Is it?
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 4: He is me? I don't know.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 18: You don't know a lot of different races coming through that.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: The only thing is I see black people aint gonna
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: waste their money flying into Florida to beat somebody.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: Your damn line, he's expensive. Now I'm just saying I'm
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: thinking about myself. But yeah, yeah, well but the Asians,
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: you know, they be having points.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 8: One of your one of y'all is correct, one of
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 8: y'all is dead wrong. Okay, d j Envy, you are
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 8: dead wrong.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: Just Alias, you.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 10: Are absolutely correct Edward Kang is.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: Oh you said Kang. Yes, he said king Kang Hang. No,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: you know damn that sounds like you said king. I
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: said king like the conqueror. I ain't say king like
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: Martin Luther.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 10: Yeah, king like lu King.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: That's right exactly.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 18: And I know his first name is not Edward, but
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 18: you know, they get like different names when they come
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 18: over here because it may be something else that we
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 18: don't can't pronounce.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: Gave a little hint during the donkey, but y'all just
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: wasn't paying.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 8: I'm not gonna say because I don't know if it's racist,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 8: is not something, but you'll hear it if you listen
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 8: back to it.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, but I think there's no way you just
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: got that one out the blue? Can you context clues?
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 4: And he.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna play family food with you.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: Then you know the you know the clues, all right,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: it's the breakfast Club good morning, morning everybody. It's DJ
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: n V, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne to God. We are the
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: breakfast Club Lonla Ross here as well. We got a
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: special guest in the.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: Building man, another culture like we having a weaker culture like.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: Con Ai, Alan Chuck, whatever you want to call him.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: M'ster seven five seven. He's in the building.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: New book Misunderstood is out right now traveling obviously, Ladies
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: and gentlemen, are you feeling, man?
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: Good life?
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: Life be life in the same fight, different round for west.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: How much sound we got as much as you like
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: me because I don't know where it's gonna go. But look, man, friends,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: all right, so I know you know what type of
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: I mean. I'm just mean, Jess, But you know, you
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: know how you get to know somebody from afar and
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: you get basically kind of tell what type of person
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: they are.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: Obviously I've known you since I was in high school
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: and big fan of you. Both friendships. Man, It's hard
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: because when you think about your friends, obviously you know
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: you can't choose your family members, you know what I mean,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: You're boring into that, But your friends, you feel like
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: y'all got so much in common with each other, and
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: you have so much love for them because you know
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: they're kind of like a basically a reflection of you,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: or you got the same type of things in common
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: or whatever, and you just grow to love them like family.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: They become you know, the guys become brothers, and your
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: homegirls become your sisters.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 4: But it's rough man navigating through that, you know what
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: I know how much I love my family, my friends.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: I got so much flack when I first got into
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: the league, you know.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 4: What I mean.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: It was the entourage, bring you homeboys from where you're from.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: You trust them so much, you love them. You want
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: them to go on the ride with you. You want
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: them to take this journey, you know through it.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 4: It's new to me.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: I've been poor all my whole life, and then snap
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: of a finger, I'm rich and famous and it's a lot,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 4: So you want to have so many people around you
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 4: that you love me and you trust you know what
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 4: I mean, And the money man just you know what
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 4: I mean. It's just you know what I mean.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: And it's so different from me, and it's so hard
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: for me because with my athletic ability that I was
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: blessed with. I've been like this since I was eight
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: years old. Like I always felt that I was rich,
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: but I was poor. I always been famous, you know
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: what I mean. When I was eight years old, I
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: go into barbershop and guys seventeen, eighteen, twenty twenty five
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: years old, guys like, oh, there you go. You know
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: that's the one right there, that's him. So it's always
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: been that for me. I always had that attention, you
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. I always been like that.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 11: You know.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: Once I got some money, it was no different from me.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: Obviously I could do things with my family and my
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: friends that I couldn't do before.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 4: You know that goes without saying.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: Man, the painful lessons of friends not being who you
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: think they they are when you add.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 4: The were all evil anything something just recently happened. Definitely,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 4: it happens all the time.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: But I feel a pendulum swinging in another direction as
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: far as how I feel about it, Like how it
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: used to hurt me, you know what I mean. You
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: you tell someone you want to find out if somebody
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: your friend, you tell them no one and their reaction
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: with what was said all you know what I mean
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: chuck a man, I got a business, you know, opportunity.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: I want to start this. I want to start that.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: Man can give me a hundred thousand and you don't
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: even have to tell them no.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 4: You can say not right now. You know later on.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: But these are the same people pay their rent, pay
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: that over the years, child support, you know, pay your
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: mom rent.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 4: You know this that.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: Every time you go to a jewelry store, you taking them,
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: you know, because the most awkward feeling is I don't
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: want to be shining and looking good and my homeboys not.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: So when I go see Manny, you know what I mean,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: they going You know what I mean? When I get cars,
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: they get cars, you know what I mean. Like and
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: it's just like when you tell them no, the way
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: they you know they act. You know, somebody saying this, yo, man,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: what's up with your man?
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 4: They are? You know what's up with a man?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Dangn you know what I mean? Like after reading your book,
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: nobody's your question.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 4: You're loyal.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: You'll ever say you took care of me. I'm telling
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: you what you've seen. But do you regret that? Because
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, Virginia, that's you everywhere.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: That's where I say, depending on is swinging.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: That's what That's why I say or feel that my
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: maturation is on a higher level now because back then,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: when something uh traumatic will happen to me like that,
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: and I see how they act for me telling them no,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: I feel myself not giving the damn anymore.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 4: Like you know what I mean.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 8: Even in the book, there's nobody that felt like that
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 8: was around you that didn't help you in some way,
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 8: shape or form.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: So you was repaying them.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 8: Like you talk about how when you was in jail,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 8: they was taking care of your mom, and they were
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 8: the ones that would tell you, you know, you know,
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 8: you're not gonna be hustling, You're gonna be playing ball.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 8: So it wasn't like you just had a bunch of
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 8: leeches around. There was people that looked out for you,
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 8: so you look back out for them.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: You know what, if I look out for one of
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: my homeboys, my homegirls, I don't expect you to give
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: it back, you know what I mean. I ain't never
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: asked for nothing back, you know what I mean. I
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: just feel like me being ahead of a snake. The
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: perfect example is like me being on twenty one team
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: went to the finals. I'm the killer everybody know that
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: this is the guy gonna put the ball in the basket.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 4: This is what he do. Now what we do is
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 4: compliment him.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: We do everything else all his deficiencies and things that
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: he can't do on the defensive end that you know
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: of the court. You know he's leading the league and deals,
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: yeah after year, but you got to gamble and when
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: he gambled, the ken Bay is there to make sure
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: I'm good.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 4: The O is there, the block shots, make sure I'm good.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: They could do all of the things that I couldn't
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: do it and that's what that's what made Voltron, you
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. You put all those things together,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: and that I was. It was me and a bunch
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: of dogs, you know what I mean. And it's the
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: same thing with my friendship. Yeah, he's the guy.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 4: People look at him another way. So I have a role.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 4: You know, I have to do this. This is my part.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 4: This is what I have to do.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 8: Another thing too, And maybe this could be part of
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 8: what you're feeling right now. It seemed like the whole
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 8: team had a dream.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: It wasn't.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 8: It wasn't you supposed to get on in basketball. You're
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 8: supposed to get on in basketball. And everybody was supposed
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 8: to make it in rap so everybody was supposed to
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 8: be doing their own thing.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't have the I didn't have the lebron James
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: crue Ma Rich. I didn't have that blueprint, you know
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: what I mean. I'm like, look, we're gonna get in
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: when we fit in, you know what I mean. Like,
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: I had one of my homeboys tell me, like, I'm
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: going to work every day, working every day.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 4: Mas's supposed to be a superstar by now, you know
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 4: what I mean, you know, going to work.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, like I've had incidents like you know, I'm
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: getting ready to go on the road and it was
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: a casino.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 4: I go to the bank, I get fifty thousand.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: They got thirty thousand and large and twenty thousand and
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: you know, twenties. And I'm getting on the plane. My
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: man come, I give him the twenty thousand. He looked
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: at it like it was something wrong with it because
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: it was all twenties.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 4: You know what i mean. I'm like, Yo, did this
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 4: you know?
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 7: Really?
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 4: Just did that really just happened? You know what I mean?
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: And it's like you can you're thinking you're doing what's right,
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: but you only you're not holding people accountable. You being
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: a crutch for him. It's like putting a band aid
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: on something, you know what I mean. You're not stitching
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: it up, you know what I mean, not stapling it up,
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And they always feel like that,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But like the hurtful part
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: is the response of actually saying no. Aaron Aaron McKey
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: told me, he said, Chuck, just you know what I mean.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: When you when you're cutting your grass, you know what
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, and you getting them snakes out of there,
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: let them ask you for something and tell them no,
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I think I'm doing
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: a great job of cutting it. But you still got
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: a little small you know. The snakes might be gone,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: but some worms in there, some small.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 8: You know. Right now it's Charles Barkley and a whole
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 8: bunch of people saying we was trying to tell him
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 8: this thirty.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 4: Like. It's just like the basketball aspect of everything.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: I ain't never think that I will retire there early,
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Man, I ain't never had
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: no back up playing Like growing up, once my mom
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: told me I could be anything I wanted to be.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 4: I wanted to be a NBA basketball player, and that
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 4: was it. It was no, it was no b C. D.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 4: It was just that that one dream.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 8: You know.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: Coach Thompson used to always tell me, you always listen
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: in to everybody else. You're always listening to somebody that's
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: never been to you know, from A to Z telling
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: you how to get there.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 4: You know, you know what I mean. And that's what
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 4: I was.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: I had everybody that wasn't me and never had the
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: experience telling me how to do it.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 8: I want to ask you about the title of the book, man,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 8: do you think you were misunderstood that's the title of
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 8: the book or did people outside of your circle just
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 8: not take the time to understand you.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 4: You're smart, dude, sometimes a lot. This is one of
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 4: my favorite shows, so I you know, I see the
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 4: good days a bad days.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: I watched Dame come up here. It's for real, it
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: gets real. I think they can answer it better. My
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: perspective is they were learning on the fly to It's like,
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: you know, with my documentary that's coming out, it was
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: like three hours long.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 4: I think I cried like two and a half hours
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 4: of I had to keep walking out of the theater.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: Because you think you know when it comes to people
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: that love you, you think you know how they feel
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: about you know, turbulent times, you know what I mean,
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: And you think you know how your girl feel. You
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: think you know how your mom feel, your uncles, your aunts,
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: your homeboys, your homegirls. But then when they actually tell
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: you from their point of view, how they felt, you know,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: and how they looked at things, and how I didn't
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: see how I was, how they had to try to
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: address me with certain things, like you know, you driving
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: the car, we we riding shotgun. And it's hard to
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: tell somebody, you know, that's trying to live their life
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: what they should do and what they shouldn't do, you
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like I'm twenty one years old,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, when I got into the
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: league at that age, Like you couldn't You couldn't tell
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: me nothing, you know what I'm saying, Like I'm here,
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like the dress code, I'm like,
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: I dressed like the dudes, the drug dealers from my neighborhood.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm dressing like this because you know
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: this is what I the old he is from my name,
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: but this is how they dressed.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean. I just couldn't afford it,
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. My corn rolls.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: I got corn rolls because I was tired of barber's
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: messing my hair. I'm like, damn, if I just grow
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: my hair, you know, I ain't got to deal with that.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 4: You know. Tattoos just got addictive. I got one.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: I couldn't afford him. I would have been got a
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: lot of My daddy was a hustler, you know what
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: I mean. He was in the streets, my mom, in
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: the streets, like I didn't.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 10: Have no sit you down and give you structure?
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 4: Is how you wasn't no.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: Coach Thompson then, you know what I mean. Wasn't those
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: people They weren't in my life yet. So all of
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: all of that was where he was he was, But
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: it was it was he was there when I got
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: to the NBA. Me and his phone calls was you know,
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: we never talked about basketball, all right, Yeah, I'm just
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: checking o how Swamna's good out of kids, you know
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: what I mean?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 4: And that was it.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: He was allowing me and thinking he was preparing me
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: at Georgetown for what was the inevitable me going.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 4: To the lead. You can't prepare for that, bro.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: How was that pressure though? Because the nicest player, right?
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: But you changed culture. But when you changed the culture,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: the NBA pushed back against it, but you never broke.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: You never folded, even though they could have said, they
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: could have been AI said, now we don't want you
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: in our league.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 4: But you never folded.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: You never back down, and you kept it that way,
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: which hurt you at times. Why was that they profited
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: off of too?
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? I would be on.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: One of the things that hurt me is I was
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: on a magazine. They wanted me on a magazine because
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: of my talent and who I was, but they air
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: brushed my tattoos off. Well you want me, but you
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: you know you want some of me. I took the
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: ass whoop before it. But the dress code thing, like
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: I actually was just you know what I mean, I.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 4: Was twenty one. Where am I going after the game?
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 4: Going to the club, you know what I mean?
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: Like before that, they were used to dudes wearing soups,
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: and you know what I mean, I was like, damn,
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: Like I've never wonn a soup.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 4: Growing up, going to church or to a funeral, the
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 4: only time am I theom in the courtroom? Definitely in
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 4: the court room.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: So I never wore a soup to the to the gym,
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: to play, to the to the park sweatsuit, you know
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: what I mean, or whatever.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. So I ain't think I
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 4: ain't think nothing of it.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: David Stern and rest of the NBA was like, ah,
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: because it was all right when I was doing it,
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: but then everybody else said, okay, like he can do that,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: we can do this. So then everybody, you know, you
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: see Kobe coming in with the diamond chains on and
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: the baggy clothes, and you know, everybody started doing it.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: Then the league was like, hold on, you gotta do
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: something about that. So it wasn't it wasn't anything malicious
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: like and that and that. That whole situation showed me
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: a lot and it proved a lot to me at
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: a young.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 4: Age about stereotyping people, because you.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: Know, when you seen John Gotti, John Gotty kept on
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: the two thousand dollars suit, but what was he He
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: get busy.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: So it ain't about you know what you got on
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: on the outside, who you are, and they said that
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: bother you the most where they labeled you a thump.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll be cool with a street dude, cool with
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 4: that because that's what I am.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's where I come from. That's all I've
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: ever been around my life. That's where I grew up around.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: But a thug like nah, that's a that's a stretch.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: I was wondering would you change things?
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 8: And the reason I asked that because even in the book,
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 8: you understood you had to wear a suit the court,
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 8: but you didn't want to do it for press conferences.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 4: In the NBA, I was bad advice like I was.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: You know, I was told to take a go to
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: trial and go off whatever the judge say, opposed to
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: having a jury that, you know what I mean. Some
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: of that I was getting advice from people that never
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: had been through it, you know what I mean. I
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: was told that if I wore a suit then they'd
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: be leanient I was. I was extremely wrong.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 2: So you wish you to just wa.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 4: I remember I remember that same suit.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: I was in a sale it was one hundred degrees
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: with no fans in there, and the older sale. I
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: was in the old man sale with fifteen people, you
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: know what I mean.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 4: And that suit.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: When they came got me, I was in the corner
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: with my boxes on, you know what I mean, soaking
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: wet and the suit was balled up.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 4: In the corner. When they came and got me out
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 4: of there, I had on my box you know what
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 4: I mean. So I don't know what. Do you regret anything? Nah,
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 4: because I wouldn't be you on I am now.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't change anything man in my life, all of
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: these experience, even with the book. Man, it's like I
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: love like my girl always talked to me about why
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: do you let like what I started talking about in
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: the beginning, why do you let that type.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: Of bother you? And I'm like practice press conference.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 4: No, just with my friends, friends, how people you know
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 4: what I mean.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: It's like why and I don't know, you know what
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, Like I love the people that I and
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: it hurt when they show you who they really are,
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: of course, because I'm thinking you somebody else, you know
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: what I mean, And she like, you know, why do
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: you stress out over stuff like that? And one of
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: us you different, you have a talent and you you're
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: blessed to be able to brush that stuff off. It's
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: hard for me now my talent obviously is you know,
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: legendary with who. But I think another blessed blessing that
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: I have is to be an open book, to be someone.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed by practice rant I'm embarrassed about, uh, not
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: really embarrassed. But it wasn't smart for me, you know,
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: because I remember, you know, people telling me Ai, you
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: cannot take care of everybody. And I used to let
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: him go on one air and write out the other like, yo,
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm gonna be the exception
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: to the rule. I'm gonna take care of the people.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 4: That I love. Like that's just me, you know what
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 18: And I think that's why I hurt you so bad
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 18: because your heart, isn't it You love these people? You know,
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 18: you superman, but you still have a heart, you know
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 18: what I mean?
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: And you like but this is but this is my
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: this is my gift, Like this is my gift to
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: this book, this this documentary. My experience is the turbulent,
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: the ups and downs, Like uh, if one kid or
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: one adult whatever read this book and they can take
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: something from it. I have people come to me all
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: the time be like yo, man, you inspired my life. Man,
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: I would have died. If it was for you, I
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: would have went to jail for the rest of my life.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: Like you you changed my life, and that that motivate me.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like I'm to give more,
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: like to even when you embarrass you uncomfortable, you know,
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: talk about it.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 4: Somebody might not have to go through it. Somebody might.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 4: You might save somebody's life, you know what i mean. Like,
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 4: talk about it.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: Man, you was on top of the world. You had
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: all the money, you know what I mean, all you
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: had to do. It's easy for to tell Chuck what
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: to do with his easy for somebody to say what
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: I would have did? Man, that was him, I would
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: have did. You ain't me, you know what I mean.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 4: You don't know how. I'm sorry. You're not me, you
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 4: know what I mean. I make mistakes, I'm human, just
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 4: like you.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: I've seen an interview you gave up drinking six months ago,
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: at that point where you said this is enough.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 4: It was it was I'll be lying if I would
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 4: say it just just stopped the brother, you know what
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 4: I mean? It was it was situations. You know what
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 4: I mean. You know where is you know what I mean?
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 4: Like I know I put it here. You know what
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing having certain guys around you. Everybody
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: when when when they your people, your people know.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 4: When you're drunk, you know, just chill, man, Just.
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: Him some more glasses, dumb and he Yo, man, right now, man,
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: God damn, I need you to you know what I'm saying, man,
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: But this is going on, that going on.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 4: I need you to.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 2: Get this because let me just talk about when I
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 2: get nice.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 4: I wanted to sleep glass line a thousand on me,
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean, But I got twelve hundred.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: What my sniggers, My man, you gave such and such
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: your your your little sniggers, you gave your sister, your
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: your uh your uh, your your fur coat.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 4: You can you know what I mean?
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: Like I mean, that's just that's just small to the
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: the real you know what I mean. Not feeling well,
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean. I mean, I did all
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: this and I was having fun last night. To wake
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 1: up feeling like this, you know what I mean. Then
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: my responsibilities you you you know what I mean. You're
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: missing flights and you know what I mean. I mean,
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: just a it's a pluthor r of things, man.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 4: You just drinking.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like I saw to evaluate
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: and like what good does it do for me? You understand?
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: Like you, I mean, you can you can have fun
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: with your own boys, your homegirls, you know what I
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 1: mean without that. And I talked to God about it.
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: I asked them to help me be strong. I didn't
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: go to no AA or nothing like that. Like I
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm not I'm not doing it.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: And that's what it wasn't. The crazy thing about it
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: is I've been with her for fifteen, for thirty five
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: years and since I was fifteen, And this crazy part
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: about it is she said when I told her I
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: was stopping that after that, she prayed on it. And
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: she said that was the only time that she ever
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: prayed on it. Like I said it plenty times in
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 1: the past, and she said that was the only time
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 1: that she prayed on it.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 10: And I was authentic with it as a husband.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 4: What have you discovered now, boyfriend, your marri.
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 2: Boyfriend. I mean, we got the boy, so you married
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: the boy. Then y'all got right back together like six
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: months later.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, I want to don't I want this point
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: to be made because you think I'm more I am,
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: and I was out of control.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: I was out of control, and.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: This threat was there for years, for years and years
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: and years and years and years, and it's like the
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: boy cried wolf, like whatever, I heard that before.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 1: And then it was like she got to the point
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: where like, yo, I gotta show this, I gotta do
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: something to show him I'm serious.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 4: And that's what happened. You in that courtroom.
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: You're looking over there and you see number one right there,
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: and you're looking down at that paper and them tears
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: hitting that paper and they don't say, you know, I've
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: been Georgetown versus Georgetown and it's been a scrimmage or
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: sixes versus sixers, and you're looking at the stat sheet
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: whatever I'm looking at Iverston versus Iverson, you.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 4: Know what I mean, And like, Yo, it's real, you
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 4: know what I mean?
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 2: Like did you ask suit?
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: Look, I really was defiant then, you know what I mean,
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: Like you got me in here, you know what I mean.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: And I had a judge and judge was vicious, like
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: I couldn't do nothing right.
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 13: Even in that moment, you were defined and I guess
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 13: upset even though you knew because you said you knew
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 13: you were out of control. But so like in that moment,
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 13: why are you defining upset if she's just doing what
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 13: she thinks is going to help, I guess, to get
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 13: you to a better spot for her.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 1: I was selfishly thinking about my Demid because I know
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 1: in my heart and in my mind that I can't
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: live without.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, like I know it, like
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 4: I know it.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: I took, I took her love for me for granted,
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like as far as she
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 1: loving me so much that I felt like you know
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: that she would never she would never go nowhere like
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: this is all I've known. This is the only love
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: that I've ever known, as far as like I never
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: loved someone like this in my life, you know what
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: I mean? Then a lot of times, you know, all
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: women would say, or even guys, you know, anybody that's
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 1: you know, logical about anything, How you love her so
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: much and you do the things?
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 4: And I don't have an answer.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 2: We never do though, as men, we never do. We
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 2: don't know why we do we do?
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 5: So how has not drinking?
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 13: And you know it seems like you're you know, your
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 13: focus is different in this time of your life. How
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 13: has that made you guys rediscover each other in a relationship.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm Claire Huxtable. I'm in Cliff.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: I'm Cliff Huxortable. Now I'm I'm I kind of get
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 1: a feeling like I'm the guy like I felt always
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: felt like, you know, I was the guy.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 4: She always wanted you know what I mean, wanted to be,
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 4: you know, wanted me to be.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: But I really feel like that guy now, Like I
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: feel like it's not the Huxtables around there obviously, but
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: like she love you know this me, you know, because
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: you always getting this me. It's hard to take advantage
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: of somebody that can see clear as hell, you know
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: what I mean, opposed to being nonchalant about everything.
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, Like it's you know, my
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 4: homeboys says a different Chuck. Now you know what I mean.
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: I see, I see what's going on, you know what
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: I mean. All the stuff that I used to, you know,
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: not pay attention to, I'm paying attention to it now,
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I just think, you know,
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: by me making this decision, it's so much better for
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: not just myself, everybody around me.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 4: Man, I can help better.
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: My advice is better, you know what I mean, Like
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: I'm a better friend now, I'm a better family member.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: You know clear, you know what I'm saying, Like I
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: promise you I'm the smartest man in the world because
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: I know him.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: Not saying you got to I do. Got one last question.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 8: Man, you changed the entire culture of basketball, but to me,
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 8: you change black culture. You also change hip hop culture
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 8: from your fashion to your attitude to just your authenticity.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 8: When you see how the NBA in the world embraces individuality.
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 8: Now do you feel celebrated or do you still feel misunderstood?
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: It's I get the opportunity, Like this is opportunity for me,
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like all of those years
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 1: you wanted to you know you wanted this. Oh man,
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: you got me wrong. Talk about it to your family,
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: your friends. Man, I'm misunderstood. Man, they don't They ain't
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: getting it, you know what I mean.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 4: It ain't like that. And then this platform and then
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 4: all the other big platforms.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: You know, just you guys give me an opportunity to
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: come up here and ask me that I want to
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: answer that that I want the world to know.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 4: And this book took years you know what I mean.
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 4: The documentary took years to do.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 1: I'm just happy that I get an opportunity to tell
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: my story or write my story and help.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 4: And help and help somebody. All I want is for
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 4: people to get out of it. Man, It's all right
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 4: to be you. It's all right. You know what I mean.
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: It's it's it's things that's gonna happen in your life,
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: and it's gonna be tough, you know what I mean.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 4: But that's when you're gonna lean on number one. You're
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 4: gonna lean on him. You're gonna lean on God. You
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 4: don't you don't ask them, uh any, You don't question
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 4: him at all? You know what I mean. Whatever happened happened.
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 4: I ain't never my grandma.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 1: Told me when I went to jail, that bowling alley thing.
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: I said, now, why are they doing this to me?
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 1: If they know I didn't do what they said? I
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: did question, never questioned God, and I've never done it
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: since then. You know what I mean, Whatever he do,
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I'm cool with it.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: He driving his car and I'm gonna just sitting there,
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: ride shotgun wherever he take me. That's where I'm going,
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna live with the results. So that's that's
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: the only thing I want. I just think, man, live
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: and laugh, love man.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: We love you, brother.
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 4: You out right now, I got go.
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 2: The breakfast club. Good morning, It's time to get up
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 2: out of here. Charlaman. You got a positive note? Yes
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 2: I do, man, and it's simple. I want to talk
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 2: to you about perseverance. Okay.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 8: People think that perseverance is like this long race. No,
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 8: perseverance is many short races, one after another, and you're
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 8: gonna need it, okay, because success is no accident. It
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 8: is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all,
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 8: love of what you are doing or learning to do.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 2: Have a great day, Breakfast club, bitches, you don't finish
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 2: or y'all done.