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Transcript

Sis, It’s Time to Leave the Dead Places: Christian Healing & Leaving Toxic Relationships · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

• 0:00
  What do you do when your life starts falling apart? When the money dries up?
• 0:03
  When the bills stack up? When the eviction notice hits your door?
• 0:07
  When anxiety is through the roof? When everything feels like it's collapsing?
• 0:11
  What if I told you sometimes that's not destruction?
• 0:15
  Sometimes collapse is the beginning of freedom. Sometimes it's deliverance.
• 0:21
  Real quick, before we get into today's episode, I want to invite you into our
• 0:26
  private Facebook community, AKA our Royal Guard.
• 0:30
  The link is in the show notes.
• 0:33
  Also share this episode with a sister. If there's someone that God impresses
• 0:38
  on your heart to send to, do it in obedience, leaving dead places because God
• 0:44
  is trying to get you to where he wants you.
• 0:47
  And it would bless me big if you could leave me a review on Apple podcast.
• 0:52
  It helps other women find this podcast that need the support and love.
• 0:59
  Let's get into today's episode.
• 1:02
  Hey, sis, welcome back to another episode of Girl Date the Good Guy. It's your girl, Emily.
• 1:08
  And again, the Holy Spirit has just interrupted my planned episodes and said,
• 1:15
  no, we're talking about this.
• 1:17
  So here we are, sis. we pray for freedom, but we rarely recognize it when it shows up as loss.
• 1:25
  In 2025, my life didn't gently transition.
• 1:28
  It completely unraveled. My cleaning job started to seize.
• 1:34
  Clients canceled, income dried up, bills piled up, rent came due,
• 1:39
  and then came the eviction notice.
• 1:41
  I felt completely defeated. Worry filled me.
• 1:45
  Anxiety wrapped around my chest. I had even lost my hair that year from stress.
• 1:51
  17 years of survival had finally caught up to my body. I remember thinking, God, what is happening?
• 1:59
  But now I know. He was removing me from a dead place.
• 2:03
  I had been in a toxic cycle for over 17 years.
• 2:07
  17 years of dysfunction. Spiritual heaviness.
• 2:12
  Emotional chaos. Financial control. I always prayed, God, get me out.
• 2:18
  But I had no idea that when he answered, it would look like everything falling apart.
• 2:25
  One day I went to a client's home. Sweet, sweet friend. Every time I cleaned
• 2:30
  her house, we talked about God.
• 2:31
  And looking back now, I see it so clearly.
• 2:35
  God plants people in your life on purpose.
• 2:38
  She had experienced a toxic relationship herself.
• 2:42
  And that day, she handed me a book, Just Enough Light for the Step I Was On.
• 2:49
  And I read that book in three days. And by the third day, I knew.
• 2:55
  God was calling me to leave the dead things.
• 2:58
  To leave the chaos, to leave the control, to leave the cycle.
• 3:03
  And here's the wild part. I had always prayed for God to get me out.
• 3:07
  I just didn't realize eviction was the exit.
• 3:12
  That night, I called my boyfriend, my good God guy.
• 3:15
  Yes, God had already sent support before I even realized I would need it.
• 3:20
  He lives in another state, and neither one of us had the financial means to rescue the other.
• 3:25
  But we had jesus and that was enough and I knew god was moving,
• 3:32
  But here's the part that almost broke me Leaving meant leaving everything behind
• 3:37
  including my daughters Forget the material things at that point.
• 3:41
  I didn't care about the house the furniture the belongings Because I felt like
• 3:45
  I had lost the one thing I had fought for prayed for endured for for 17 years My baby girls.
• 3:54
  That's a whole different level of pain. I cried for a solid week once it fully hit me.
• 4:02
  I was leaving my daughters, my home, everything I had ever known for nearly two decades.
• 4:08
  My anxiety was through the roof, and the enemy wasn't done yet.
• 4:13
  The night before I left, my ex called me, and he said, You know you're giving
• 4:19
  up your rights to your children the moment you drop them and their stuff at my house.
• 4:24
  The enemy always tries one last time.
• 4:28
  He knew that would hit my spirit. He knew that would pierce the deepest part of me.
• 4:33
  He knew that was the place I was most vulnerable. I felt hopeless.
• 4:38
  Why did I even answer the phone? I have always known what comes from him.
• 4:43
  Chaos, destruction, an evil heart.
• 4:46
  But just like I teach, we hold onto hope.
• 4:50
  Maybe they'll change. Maybe this time will be different.
• 4:54
  Sis, it's just not possible. It takes
• 4:57
  a heart turned towards God and true repentance for someone to change.
• 5:04
  And after 17 years, there wasn't an ounce of it.
• 5:09
  But I remember walking back inside after that phone call, and I completely lost it.
• 5:15
  I screamed, I screamed. I yelled. I slammed doors.
• 5:18
  I threw what can only be described as a full temper tantrum.
• 5:22
  I screamed how much I hated this man. And yes, I am a Christian woman who lost her cool.
• 5:28
  And you would too after enduring 17 years of pain, control, loss,
• 5:34
  and emotional destruction.
• 5:37
  God. And Psalms 34, 18 says, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves
• 5:43
  those who are crushed in spirit.
• 5:45
  He rescued me. He pulled me out of the deepest, darkest, darkest place of my life.
• 5:51
  He did not shame me for breaking down. He did not abandon me in that moment.
• 5:55
  He met me there and I will forever be grateful for his love. The cycle had to break.
• 6:03
  And sometimes the cycle breaks when you finally choose peace over chaos,
• 6:08
  even if it costs you everything familiar.
• 6:11
  Jesus said in John 11.43, Lazarus, come forth.
• 6:17
  He doesn't call you to stay in tombs. He calls you out of them.
• 6:22
  Dead places feel familiar, even when they are painful.
• 6:26
  But peace? peace feels foreign when
• 6:30
  you've lived in chaos for years but what i really needed what you really need
• 6:37
  is peace because what followed that leap of faith was the beginning of complete
• 6:43
  healing and restoration to my soul and spirit.
• 6:47
  Not overnight, but it began. The fear started to lift.
• 6:52
  The fog started to clear. My identity started to return.
• 6:56
  God set me free.
• 6:58
  And if he did it for me, sis, he could do it for you.
• 7:03
  Let's pray. Father God, I pray right now for the woman listening who knows she is in a dead place.
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  The one who feels afraid.
• 7:11
  The one who feels confused.
• 7:14
  The one who feels like leaving will cost her everything.
• 7:18
  Lord, give her courage, not the full plan, not the whole staircase, just the next step.
• 7:25
  Remind her that you are close to the brokenhearted, that you see her tears,
• 7:30
  that you are not asking her to walk this alone.
• 7:33
  If you are drying something up in
• 7:36
  her life, let her trust that you are redirecting her, not punishing her.
• 7:41
  Break every chain of fear. Break every lie that says she cannot survive without chaos.
• 7:46
  Break every attachment to false provision, call her out of the tomb,
• 7:52
  whisper to her spirit, come forth.
• 7:56
  Protect her mind, guard her heart, strengthen her body,
• 8:01
  give her wisdom, and as she leaves the dead things, meet her with peace,
• 8:07
  not fragile peace, but powerful, anchored, heaven-sent peace.
• 8:13
  We trust you, Lord, even when it hurts, even when it costs, even when we don't understand.
• 8:20
  Set her free in Jesus' mighty name, amen.
• 8:25
  Sis, you cannot heal in the place that broke you.
• 8:29
  And when Jesus calls you out, it's time to leave the dead things.
• 8:34
  I love you, and I'll see you Friday for the rest of the story. Bye for now.