Latest / BECOME Empowered / 8 Minutes Gone: Jeff Luther on Rebuilding Life 30 Seconds at a Time
Transcript
- speaker-0: ⁓ and then it detected some electrical signals. So it shocked me. And the first time it shocked me, it didn't work. ⁓ and it gives that audible flat line, like like on the movies, you know, that you you hear it. And everybody kind of panicked and didn't know what to do. And fortunately, our weightlifting coach, he and I had the same weightlifting coach, and she was there and she just grabbed him because he he lost his mind. So she grabbed him and pulled him away, and then the other people at the gym stood in between him and me so he couldn't see what was happening. speaker-1: Every great story has a moment, the one where everything shifts. Welcome to the Become Empowered Podcast, where real leaders pull back the curtain and show you exactly how they did it. I'm Sabine Kwenberg, performance communication coach, keynote speaker, author, and your host. I have spent my career on stages, real ones and invisible ones, and I know this: the most powerful transformations don't happen in the spotlight, they happen in the quiet moments. of decisions, resilience, and radical courage. Before we dive in, if this podcast moves you, challenges you, or gives you that one thing you needed to hear today, please follow, like and share it with someone who needs it too. That's how we grow this community together. Some episodes I'm sitting down with entrepreneurs, authors, speakers, coaches, and bold leaders who have faced the hard stuff and kept going. Other times, it's just you and me. Going deep into the mindset, strategies, and the gumpchant it takes to become who you were always meant to be. Either way, we talk confidence, leadership, resilience, and the real story behind the growth. This is Become Empowered. Let's get into it. Imagine collapsing mid workout in front of your own son. No pulse, no breath, and coming back eight minutes later into a life you no longer recognize. That's not hypothetically for my guest today, Jeff Luther. It's the moment his story actually begins. After a sudden cardiac arrest changed his health, his a fitness and ultimately his belief, Jeff went searching across the country for answers and found that the real transformation wasn't in the diagnosis. It was in the stories he told himself afterward. Today we are stepping onto Jeff's stage, the one he never auditioned for, the talk about resilience, mindset, and What it actually feels like to rebuild a life 30 seconds at a time. Welcome, Jeff. speaker-0: Sabine, thank you. That was such a great intro. I can't wait to listen to this podcast. speaker-1: Well, I can't wait to have this conversation and to learn more about your experience. So let's dive right into it. Take us back to that moment at the gym, not just what happened physically, but what was going on inside your mind in those eight minutes you were gone. What do you actually remember thinking about in the Literal process of dying. speaker-0: Man, I you know, I remember everything. I remember going out. I remember everything I thought going out. And then I remember the second that I woke up, I do not remember anything in between. Nothing. ⁓ speaker-1: So when when when you said you remembered the ⁓ moment you went out, w what thought flashed in front of your eyes? speaker-0: two things that stand out. ⁓ the first, so so I was I was doing I was in the middle of the workout and I was doing wall balls and I started to feel just a really rapid heart rate. And it had happened to me several times before, but it would go away really quickly, like you know, eight or ten seconds. So it started happening and I felt it and I stopped. I was like, okay, well this will go away. And it did it. It kept going. And then I started getting lightheaded and to to give your audience an idea of what was happening is my heart goes into ventricular fibrillation. It just vibrates. It doesn't beat. ⁓ so it's like three hundred and sixty beats a minute. So it's just it's just pulsating. So it doesn't pump blood. So I started getting lightheaded. And then I went to a knee and then I went to another knee and I was still getting lightheaded. And here's one thing that really stood out is there was a guy beside me working out and he noticed that I was down on my knees. And he leaned over and he put his hand on my shoulder. And he said, Are you okay? And the second that his hand touched my shoulder, all I could think was, I'm scared, I'm vulnerable, I don't know what's happening. Get your hand off me. Like get away from me. And then in an instant, like milliseconds, all I could think was, I'm scared, I'm vulnerable, I don't know what's happening. Please don't take your hand off of me. Just Don't let me go. Which is so bizarre. And I remember that emotion like like it was this morning. And then the next thing in that process as I was laying down, I was I knew I had to lay down. I knew that I was going out. The last thing that I saw was my son's shoes walking towards me. I was laying on the gym floor and as his his shoes were coming towards me. I knew that he was coming over to check on me, and I I had to get up. And I remember telling myself, Jeff, you have got to get up. You've got to get up. And I couldn't. And it was you know, like in the movies where the the good guy gets shot and he's laying on the ground and he crawls over to the gun to kill the bad guy and save the girl. I could I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. And that was the last thing I remember. It was almost like just a sense of just despair. And then I was out. speaker-1: Wow. I mean, maybe some of the listeners can relate to it when you, you know, went to surgery, to surgery and you, you know, got sedated and you went out. And and it's that moment, and I had it like two years ago, where I got ⁓ dental surgery. So I got all that inform that whatever they pump in in your vein. And I was thinking it's something similar. ⁓ just thinking something and before you know it, I I woke up. That's you know, I can only ⁓ imagine. The difference is you were scared and then you woke up, and you don't remember anything in between, but you woke up and what was your first thought that came into your mind when you woke up? speaker-0: My first thought, my very first thought was that I got drunk the night before and I passed out. That is my first and that's the honest truth. I'm not much of a drinker, but I had this horrible taste in my mouth. Like, you know, like a hangover. my mouth was super dry and it just had it just tasted horrible. And I was like, ⁓ my gosh, I must have gotten drunk and I passed out. Because when I first came to, I couldn't I I was like, what just happened? And I remembered, you know, I knew where I was, I remembered where I parked, I remembered everything, but I couldn't remember the night before. I like I I didn't know I didn't almost didn't know what city I was in. I travel a fair amount. So I almost didn't know what city I was in. It was just so foggy. And then and that's when I thought, ⁓ my gosh, I how embarrassing is this? I got drunk. And came to a workout and passed out. That was my very, very first thought. But before that, I will tell you this when I woke up, I woke up to screaming. I woke up to really loud screaming. I'm in a big gym. It's a metal building, no insulation. And you could hear the scream echoing. And the scream was me. Yeah, that's what that's what I woke up to. That was bizarre. speaker-1: Wow. Wow. So what happened? Did they use ⁓ those those fibs to put on your chest to bring the heart back to to beating? speaker-0: They did, yes. And the way so they had a an AED, an automated external defibrillator in the gym that for you know, I'm just lucky there was somebody there that even thought about it and knew how to use it. ⁓ but the way those things work is you have to have a rhythm. You have to have some type of electrical signal for that to shock you. You know, it's not like on the movies where somebody's dead and they shock ⁓ and they come back to life. Yeah. So they they put that on me and it detected no no heart rhythm. So it said just do chest compressions. ⁓ and then it detected some electrical signals, so it shocked me. And the first time it shocked me, it didn't work. ⁓ and it gives that audible flat line, like like on the movies, you know, that you you hear it. ⁓ and my son, who was sixteen at the time, was standing over me when that happened. You know, and he wow he tells it. He tells it now he didn't he didn't talk about it for a while. ⁓ but now he'll he'll say, you know, it it gave that sound, that long beep, and everybody kinda panicked and didn't know what to do. And fortunately, our weightlifting coach, he and I had the same weightlifting coach, and she was there and she just grabbed him 'cause he he lost his mind. So she grabbed him and pulled him away, and then the other people at the gym stood in between him and me so he couldn't see what was happening. speaker-1: Wow. And ⁓ was ⁓ was a like did they call nine one one w where somebody speaker-0: Yep, they they'd called 911 when they got the defibrillator. ⁓ so then it's you know it it shocked me it didn't work, and then it says continue to do chest compressions. So they kept doing chest compressions, and then it shocked me again, and a second time it didn't work. And then and that was, I think everybody was kind of defeated. and so they left it on, they kept doing compressions. And that was about the time the paramedics came in. And then it shocked me a third time. And that's and that's when I woke up. That's when it worked. speaker-1: Wow. So tell me now that you realized okay, I basically I was gone for what eight minutes. And what what happened afterwards? You you you you talked about rebuilding your life 30 seconds at a time. What does that mean? Walk us through what actually looked like in practice. speaker-0: Okay. I i so I'll give you the exact story. If I go long, just you tell me to shush. speaker-1: No, no, no. ⁓ speaker-0: I I woke up and the I and honestly I got my wits about me. I figured it all out and I and you know the paramedics are there, they're asking me these questions, I'm hooked up to all this stuff, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. No, no, no, I'm I'm fine. I no, I am fine. Are we gonna finish this workout? Like that's the important thing here. So they that finally they I wasn't even gonna go to the hospital. So they finally, you know, they convinced me to go to the hospital. I'll go to the hospital. I'm there for four days. They finally give me a diagnosis. They implanted defibrillator. And so I had major surgery and they were like, Well, you know, in you can't do anything for thirty days. And my diagnosis was arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy. ⁓ ARB. Yeah. ⁓ And the the disease is degenerative, but it's exacerbated by exercise, which is what I have my ego wrapped up in. Yeah. ⁓ so when my 30 days was up, I did what any smart male athlete would do that has his ego wrapped up in exercise. I went back to the gym to exercise. And yeah, I actually I I worked out with my son, I did would did it for a couple of weeks, ⁓ and then on July the nineteenth. It happened again. This time, yeah. But this time, I knew that I was dying. I knew what was happening. You know, it wasn't it wasn't like you're at the dentist getting the getting the propofol. Right. I knew that I knew that I was dying. I knew that's what was happening. And that's when everything changed. ⁓ because before I was tough. I was like, ⁓ they're wrong. I don't have this. speaker-1: No. speaker-0: This isn't gonna happen to me again. I'm strong. Look how fit I am. I just ran a 50K the week before. I came in second place. I I was fit. And then I became paralyzed with fear. I mean paralyzed. Like my life effectively ended. I was scared to drive a car. I was scared to I was scared to go upstairs. although I forced myself to do it, I was scared to take a shower because I didn't want to be in the bathroom alone. And that was my life for I d I don't know, probably the next two months or three months. ⁓ and I was bitter and I was angry and I was so mad. Why did this happen to me? God abandoned me. Just everything. It was it was horrible. and I was going through a divorce at the time that I didn't want. And it got to a point where the best two seconds of my day were when I woke up. When I woke up, I forgot what my life was like. And then it would hit me. So it to that's a long way to get to answer your question. I knew that I had to do something different. ⁓ and so you know, I had to find gratitude. I started, I just had to be grateful that, you know, I had to be grateful about just a pen. There were some days where I was grateful that I had a pen. And that led to, okay, well, what's great about this disease? Well, nothing. Okay, well, something was, what would it be? Well, you know, I could probably still do this or still do this. So I went back to the gym. I found a coach. I did some research and ⁓ we found some workouts that I could do. And I went back to the gym and I said, you know, I need I need a quiet place, no music. You can't cheer me on. Just make sure I don't die. Can you do that? And he said, ⁓ yeah. And I said, Well, you're an idiot. So So I I started a workout and it was the first time back and I worked out for about four or five minutes and I quit. And I said I said, Phil, I can't I can't do this. And and I'm bawling crying, bawling, crying. I mean like wiping snot off of my face. I was a mess. And I really Sabine, I really I gave up. ⁓ and if anybody's ever felt that that's listening, I am so sorry. It is a horrible feeling. And if and if you've never felt it, I hope that you never do. speaker-1: So so what got you out of that funk, so to speak, that never gave up and then you know going on with your life and now even sharing it in in in your book? So what was that moment? Was there a moment in time that things shifted or did you make a decision to change everything? So Bring us to that moment or that development. speaker-0: Sure. Yeah. So so he the the coach asked me what was wrong. He said, Does that thurt? You know, I've got a defibrillator installed. He said, Does that defibrillator hurt? I don't know. Why are you crying? And I said, 'Cause 'cause I I quit. I can't do it. I'm scared. And he said, What are you scared of? And I said, I'm scared of dying. And he looked at me so serious and he said, But you have that thing. I was like, you know, you're right. So we argued for a little bit. He said, look, can you just you can quit, but I need you to give me thirty seconds. Just work for 30 seconds so that we end on a win and then you then you can stop. And so I did. I gave 30 seconds and he said, That's amazing. You did it. You won. I said, You know, I think I can give you another 30 seconds. And so I did. I gave another 30 seconds and I didn't die. And then he said, that's you you've done it. That's it. That's a win. And we'll come back next week. I said, no, I can do 30 more. He said, okay, do 30 seconds at a time. Work 30 seconds and rest 30 seconds and go as long as you want. And I finished that whole workout by just going 30 seconds. And I've literally got my life back. And when it was over, I said, okay, well, I can do 30 seconds. I can do 30 seconds and wait. And that and I knew I was like, I have so much to repair and so much to rebuild and I can do it in one small little step. And that's where I started. That was the literal change. I wish it was some real exciting, elaborate story, but that was the change. speaker-1: I mean sometimes those little things are more profound than like this big wow. And it also helps people when they listen to it, ⁓ I can do that too. Thirty seconds, I can do that too. Because this is why I love this podcast so much, because when I talk with individuals like yourself, what they share Sometimes it doesn't have to be, you know, glass shattering and big. Nobody can do this. But those little things that make a huge difference. And I believe when we stand in front of something that is maybe overwhelming, and I hear this a lot from my clients, ⁓ I'm I'm afraid to get on stage and speak. And it's the same thing. It's like Well, you don't have to give a keynote right away, right? Right. Yeah, just do little things. And and sometimes I say, Hey, yes, there is a little bit of of fear and doubt that creeps up. It's okay. But you acknowledge it and start with small steps. It can be something like doing a thirty second pitch in front of your dog or your cat, right? And then you do it in front of your friend and then you finally pick up and do maybe a live for a minute. And the more we do things, we get more confident and ⁓ it wasn't too bad. I didn't die. And talking about that, did you know that seventy percent of people say their number one fear is public speaking before death. It's crazy, right? So ⁓ yeah, you you you can tell them mm no. I can speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: So ⁓ you know when I read your your bio, there was some sentence that really stood out. ⁓ your line, our beliefs don't just shape our future, they shape our present. I mean, that was a gut punch. Can you give us a real example of a belief that you had to catch yourself versus, you know. A surviving day. speaker-0: ⁓ yes. ⁓ several. ⁓ I I took a lot of blame for my divorce. I I had a lot of shame and a lot of guilt around it. And so in order to validate that shame and that guilt, I had to find really bad things about myself and and I don't have to look far. You know, you know, it's easy to find all these bad things about yourself. So I would find bad things about myself, and then I would find bad things, the things that I that I did that I wish I would have done different. And I would just beat myself up. And then one day I said, you know, this is this is Jeff, this is what you're shaping yourself to be right now. Maybe, maybe that was you. But that's not you right now. And it was so little. And I I would love to say that that it changed everything, but it took a while. You know, I had to continue to do it. It was a discipline. And then I started to ask myself, because that's a who am I? Right? That's like a who am I? And I would l say these bad things and I would say, okay, stop. Who am I becoming? And that was a big shift for me. When I would think about the you know, all I would find all the things wrong, and I'll say, okay, maybe that was you. That's behind you. You're not going that way. Right now, this is who you are. And that was helpful for me. speaker-1: So true. And this is the tagline of this podcast: Become Empowered. We have to become the person we are meant to be to live the life we are destined to live. And we are in a constant stage of becoming. We always become our next greater self. And as you said, when I look back at When I was younger and the things I said and did in that time, looking at it now, it's like, ooh. But that's behind. That's behind me. And and we learn from those things. We learn from our missteps. We learn from ⁓ that was not good. And now we can apply that to become better and be the role models. Right? speaker-0: Yeah. So that's so well said. That is so well said. speaker-1: Yeah. And and and that is w one of the things I I somet I see it now. I didn't see it many years back, but sometimes you have people in front of you they say and talk a lot about ⁓ this is how you should do it, this is look at me how I am, this is what I do, da di da di da. But their words Or the actions speak so loud that we don't that we don't hear their words. They it there is that contrast there. And it takes a while to get in alignment with that. But what you said is so important to have the gratitude, number one, for everything that you have, and have the gratitude also even for your past mishaps and failures. Because those failures, if we learn from it, these are the stepping stones for our future success. speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. if b may I speak j on gratitude really quickly. speaker-1: Абсолютні. speaker-0: I I am not proud of this, but I had a real problem with gratitude. I didn't know that. I did not know that as an adult. I was not grateful. Not because I didn't think, okay, yeah, I'm glad I have this. I'm glad I was able to do this. I'm glad I had this lesson. But it just I never acknowledged it. And I didn't realize that. And so when I started this whole relationship with gratitude, I felt like an absolute idiot. Like I felt so dumb, I couldn't find it. And I all I realized two things. One, gratitude does not have to be, I'm so grateful that I that I went into that burning building and saved that dog and I'm on you know, it doesn't have to be this like this elaborate thing. Yeah. But also what I learned is that gratitude and and bitterness, they can't share the same real estate in my brain. think most brains work that way. But they but I couldn't do I couldn't do both. And that was really powerful for me. Now I don't want to I I I don't want to say, hey, I just think of I just think of this pen and then I and then everything's fine. You know, I still struggle with it, but but the two the two can't run in parallel. speaker-1: And the other thing is ⁓ what what I learned too. You know, I think everybody goes through it. Well, start a gratitude journal and then I I don't know even what to to write down, right? Because you think you have to write down those big things. No. I am grateful that the sun is shining right now. I I am grateful for the the air in my lungs. I'm grateful that I have A glass of water, and there's so many people who e don't even don't have ⁓ clean drinking water. I mean, little things. And the more you practice, the the easier it becomes. And you feel it l at least for me, and I hear this from a lot of people, you feel a shift at one point. You just feel a shift. And the more you do it, I'm I'm just grateful. And even if it's just something simple, getting out of bed saying, Thank you, God, thank you, God, thank you, God. I mean, just little things like that, right? Whatever your belief is. What that's one one of the things that I say. So yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. So it it's it's and that those little things that we tell ourselves are are big. speaker-1: Yeah, the self-talk. Hmm. You said that you searched for answers you wanted to hear, but mostly got the answers you didn't. So what was the hardest truth that someone told you perhaps that matters most or mattered most to you? speaker-0: I I will say that every time you say that you said I get nervous 'cause I don't know what I've said. the hardest truth speaker-1: Maybe you said it to yourself, or maybe someone else said something to you and that maybe even your coach, I mean, literally, who said, Well, you know what? I think you can do 30 seconds. What that really made that okay, that got you through. And sometimes we hear things, someone says something to us that we even didn't realize. And I know it's hard f even for me if I have to think about something to to put this up in the front. But I'm sure that we all had someone or there is a situation that we experienced that that was like, hmm, I never saw that about myself or thought it about myself. So I dun I don't know it yeah. speaker-0: Yeah, that so that's very helpful. Thank you. I will tell you the hardest thing and this I like I'm exposing my soul here. The the hardest part was realizing how ego driven I was. When when I started to try to after it happened the second time and I was and then I was trying to navigate this new world, when I started to to try to find exercise and to do things like I didn't run for almost two years. And the only reason I didn't run is because I would never be as fast as I used to be. That was why I let I let that comparison to my former self steal every piece of joy about running. And I'll add that the way I started running again is my coach, he kept programming running and I kept ignoring him. And I kept telling him I couldn't. And I, you know, all made up all these excuses. And finally one day he said, Hey, I have running in here. I know you don't want to run. It's short and it's slow. If you're not going to do it, then I need you to pay someone to take your dog for a run because your dog needs to run. And that's stung. speaker-1: Wow, yeah. That's right. That's right. I love it. And thanks for sharing. And thanks for being vulnerable because at the end, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, that's when the greatest shift in our lives happens. And I I I see it. And one of my great mentors, the late Doctor Wayne Dyer, in his book Excuses Be Gone. That made a great impact on me because we our lives is full of excuses. And after I read his book, I knew this is gone. I'm not making excuses anymore and not blaming anybody else anymore. Because when we do that, when we blame someone else about anything, really anything, we take away. The power to fix it. And yes, do I have control over the ⁓ the big market crash, the housing crash, or whatever, the economy? No, I don't have control over that. But what I do have control over is how I respond to it. Right? And and and I share that in in my my new book, Gump Chin. There there is one incidence that led us to declare bankruptcy. And it had something to do with a housing crisis. And you know, I could blame everything on that, but I had to step back myself and said, Look, you weren't smart enough or you weren't aware enough were ignored the signs that we're already there. You could have done something there. So in one sense, it also is upon me that it even went this far. Because I sometimes have that, you know, I can go through it. I did it now, I said I would do it, so I'm gonna go through it, right? That's I guess it's my German it was in me or something. Determined. But speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: I had to realize that, hmm, okay, it is what it is. And I take hundred percent responsibility for the circumstances that I found myself in. And then talking about gratitude, there was this one moment that I describe in my book when there was literally the only thing in our lake house was a blow up mattress and a feather bed. It was freezing outside. We only had our two dogs that gave us a little warmth because the heat went out a day before, and the next day we were to turn over the key for our lake house that we had as collateral. Again, one of the things that I should have never done. However, it was a great lesson and I would never sit here now doing what I'm doing if this had happened. But talking about gratitude, and I want to finish with that because I think that wraps it all up, is that in that moment that I had nothing, I had to give up, I was freezing cold. I was grateful. And the thing that went through my mind was, you know, I don't care. At this point, I could sleep under a bridge as long as I have my loved ones. And this case it was my husband and my two dogs that I loved. Those were living beings. As long as I have that and I have the air in my lungs and I have the spirit that I have, I'm happy. I can be happy no matter what. And that got me through that very tough time that I went through. And and that's what I share in my book, Gam Chen, that is being released on August fourth. the stories and the wisdom that I learned along building a business alongside moving from Germany to to America and many, many other things. I just want to take a minute to say thank you to you, the loyal listener, for supporting this podcast and being here. And as a thank you, I have a gift. It's my bold move kit. Four small things that move you from the quiet nudge inside to the brave step you can take today. And that is all from my new book Gumchen. Sacred Whispers, Bold Move and The courage to become. I will share in that kit an audio of my of one of my chapters, read by the author, me. The Gum Chum Practices, eight practices for the courage to become, and you can pin them wherever you see them. The Bold Move activation, which is a one page that turns the whisper into a step with a date on it. And you also get another s sneak peek from one of my other chapters. And if you so want to order or pre order your own version of Gamchen, you can do this as well. And if you do it before August fourth, I will send you the E version so you can read it right away. And if you see this after August fourth, you can get my book at Any bookstore, go to your favorite bookstore, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, wherever, and let me know. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. And now let's get back to the show. I wanted to thank you for sharing your story, being vulnerable. Now, if one last thing that I want to ask you, if if somebody's listening and said, you know, I I really ⁓ wanted to get in touch with Jeff, how how can they do this? Wha what are you doing now to help others perhaps through your books or coaching or anything in between? Please share with our audience. speaker-0: Yeah, of course. Thank you for asking. ⁓ I'm doing coaching now. I also do public speaking. I speak on resilience. you can find me on Instagram, ⁓ Jeff Luther. And then also you can find me at JeffLuther dot com. And right now I'm doing I my coach has asked me to do fifty calls. I have to do fifty conferences, fifty clarity conferences. They're ⁓ they're complimentary. I just love to have a conversation. If anybody is interested, you can find me at jeffleuther dot com. And you can you can find me you can see my workout antics at JD Luther two point ⁓ on Instagram. speaker-1: And I make sure I have all that information in the show notes. If you want to leave our listeners with one piece of advice, ⁓ something ⁓ if they stand in their own version of no pulse, no breath, right? Maybe not literally, but they're stuck or unsure about something. What would you say for them to take the first bold move or first step? speaker-0: That's exactly what I would say. Take a step because I promise you I promise you if you will take a step, the ground will find you. It will find you. speaker-1: Wow, that's it. That's it. Thank you so much, Jeff, for being here and I can't wait for your book to come out. speaker-0: ⁓ my gosh. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks thanks for giving me a platform and for being so kind. speaker-1: Thank you for spending this time with me on Become Empowered. If this message spoke to your heart, make sure you follow, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Until next time, let your voice rise, let your light shine and keep becoming empowered.