Latest / Wellness, Actually with Emily Oster & Perry Wilson, MD / Tamron Hall's Late-Night Panic Google

Transcript

Tamron Hall's Late-Night Panic Google · Wellness, Actually with Emily Oster & Perry Wilson, MD

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: This is parent Data. I'm Emily Oster. Hi Tammer and Hall.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Hi Emily Ost.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: So in case anyone doesn't know who you are, can
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: you tell us who you are, what you do, and
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: what kind of children you have?
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: I am Tammeron Hall, who happens to be the daughter
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: of Mary Newton and the amazing step daughter to Clarence Newton,
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Senior Master Sergeant in the Army. I am also a
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: two time Emmy Award winning talk show host, and I
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: have one kid who is super awesome. I'm his biggest fan.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: His name happens to be Moses, and his sister pet
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: is Exodus. So clearly I like the Bible from time
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: on the time.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: What kind of pet is Exodus?
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: She is a burna doodle, oh who is three years old,
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: and prior to her, I had a Chihuahua. Pretty much
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: my entire life, I've had small dogs and I lost
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: my dog during like twenty twenty, the year twenty twenty,
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: and I decided to get my kid a dog because
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: I've always had pets.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I've had chickens, dogs, ducks, geese, you name it.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: I grew up in Texas, so there wasn't anything that
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: we didn't try to domesticate. And so having a kid
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: in New York City, who my biggest fear I was
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: probably befriending a rat, said let's get an animal. And
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: so we have a bird named Josephine Burger and we
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: have the dog Exodus, who's his dog.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: So it's a carnival around here.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: It's amazing. My kids want a dog. And we told
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: my daughter that she could have a dog when she well,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: we told her when she was that when her brother
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: was three, we would talk about getting a dog. But
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: fortunately we said we'll discuss it when he's three. Now
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: he's almost ten, and we are every year she's like,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: have about now, and we're like, we've discussed, but we've decided.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: No. Oh' that's a masterful. See my kid didn't even
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: know he wanted to talk.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: But I would tell you certain things are just ingrained
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: in me. I believe you should play a sport, even
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: if you're not good at the sport. I believe you
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: should have a I believe you should have a pet
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: because it just teaches you a level of compassion that
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I don't unless it's a bird, which my bird is
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: a different head case.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: But I think that even.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: A cat or something that reminds you constantly of the
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: potential innocence of life, because even a kid at some
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: point recognizes that life is an innocent but a pet
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: in a proper environment always has the innocence of life.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I have snails.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know what they think they do.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Well, I can tell you they think every day is
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: a good day because they wake up.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: They wake up and something spraying water on them and
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: they have let.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Us come on. It's like that. I can't believe me.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: What is there? Come on?
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: All right, Tameron? What's your late night panic?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Google?
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: My late night panic? Google lately? Oh my late night
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: the last one. I'll be very honest.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I'll give you the last one, because this is the
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: give me last one.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I live in New York City. It's thirty degrees late
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: night panic. I was underdressing my child for the weather.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: They had a field trip. And I know that sounds
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: tiny to some people, but it's one of those things
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: that no matter how many books on how to raise
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: a kid and all these great things. And we just
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: had Jonathan Hyde on my talk show and the whole
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: digital download. I've never found a book on how to
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: dress a kid in the winter or in the summer,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: and it's I sent my kid out with a little
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: white muscle shirt underneath, and then a thermal shirt and
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: then another shirt, and then I sent him to with
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: two pairs of shoes, one winter style shoe and one
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: regular sneaker, two different pairs of socks, all in a
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: ziplog bag with a note attached to it. And I
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: still called his teacher this morning and said, if his
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: feet get hot, can you remind him that I sent
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: him with sneakers so that he could change, only for
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: her to say, we cancel the field trip.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Oh god, you tell me that won't keep you upen night.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: You tell me where you find that answer to how
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: to dress your kid in the winter, because they're articles
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: and I googled, and it's not a straight line you ask,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: so you're gonna get it.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: There's no straight line. People.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Some people say kids run warmer, some people say they
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: run cooler, But there's no webinar, no webmar indeed that
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: answers it.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Your son is like five, it's five going on fifty,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: and he's warm today.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: And but what what you. Have you yet encountered the
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: part of this where your kid refuses to wear temperature
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: appropriate clothing.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: I've only encountered the desire for naked. He's like, he
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: doesn't like go like yeah, He's like, what do I
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: need this for? No, but it's not. He doesn't like hats.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: But I finally got him to appreciate hats. He's a
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: lot of hair, really big curly hair, and so I
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: he's cool with that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: He does.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, I have resistance on finger gloves versus mittens. He's
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: kind of lazy, so he just wants to do the
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: mitten thing. And then I say, no, you need the
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: fingers because that allows you to, you know, climb, and no, no, no,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: and he said, this is frustrating.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, but it's not. Just count your fingers,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: open your hand, slide in. But no, not that.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: And he's very proud that he does the I'm not
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: sure if you're familiar with the upside down coat flip
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: where you put your own coat on.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: It's the greatest. That's the greatest.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I remember when my kids learned that in preschool and
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh. The people who teach
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: pre school are the world's greatest geniuses.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: But I need to know that's will keep me up tonight.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I need to google when that became like a learned thing,
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: because I didn't learn to put my coat on that way.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: We were like spinning around trying to put our arms
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: and you're falling down. And then your mom gets frustrated,
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: say just put the coat on this way. You know
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: all of that, but no, my kid to your point,
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: just as you came home, uh preschool, and he the
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: coat was on the floor and I'm like, pick your coat,
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: and I'm putting my coat on.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like what And then he flips the coat and
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like what who created this this is?
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: And by the way, it is not conventional wisdom because
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: we were in Texas for Thanksgiving and he did it
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: in front of one of his cousins who's like twenty
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: and the cousin's like, wait, what what are they?
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: What is the coolest thing I've ever seen.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I know exactly, it's amazing, But I would
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: love to know when that light became.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Who came up.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: And the law like it was passed around every pre
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: k kid, you know, teacher and they all got the
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: memo it's amazing.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Do you think that you worry about the way your
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: kid is dressed because you're worried that he will be
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: hot or cold, or because you think that the like
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: his teacher will be like, oh, I can't believe he
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Tamori Center kid without nine pairs of socks. What kind
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: of parenting is that.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: I think it's because I'm always worried that he won't
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: be prepared, you know. I mean it's so for example,
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: you know anything in life. You know, the other day
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: he said, somebody there was a scuffle in Lego Robotics,
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: and he said, you know, the kid kicked him. And
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, you know, that was my first like
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: moment blah, And I said, so then we we we
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: do a rehearsal of if a kid kicks you, what
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: you do, and we go through this whole you know
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: thing of they're gonna do this, and you'll do this,
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: and you'll say this, and you'll say this, and so
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: it's it's it's I think the worry of them being
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: in the world unprepared or be and so that's what
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: it is. I don't I don't think his teacher would judge.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: She's amazing and I've seen her also not properly warmly
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: dressed that I'm going to give her some advice on scarves.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: But she's like thirty year old young teacher and it's
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: called liked put a scarfne.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: You're gonna get anment? What's wrong with you?
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: I think it's, to be honest with you, I think
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: it's the fear that whatever your kid faces, whether they
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: are two or twenty two or thirty two, that somehow
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: you have not prepared them for the world. Yeah, it
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: starts with weather. It starts with peer to peer interaction.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: You know, maybe you don't get on the team or
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: your first heartbreak. I mean prior to having my son,
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: which you know I refer to myself as a late
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: to the party parents.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: I was forty eight years old.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: My brother and his wife have They were younger parents,
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: and a great portion of my nephew who's now twenty
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: seven and his sister's twenty two. The other is now eighteen,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: that's fifteen, but the two older kids. A great part
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: of my journey was helping my brother and his wife
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: because they were still getting their footing and they were
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: in their early twenties when they became pregnant with their.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Kid and got married very young.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: And so Isaiah, who ty seven, is like my first
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: child truly. He's first vacations with me, first being everything
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: he's ever done, calls me first about everything. And his
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: sister is the same way, but he definitely is and
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: I very much. So remember he's going to kill me
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: for this, but his very first heartbreak and he called me.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: He was in college and he said, you know, this
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: situation happened and he was sad, and I wanted to
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: get on the plane and knock on her door and say.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about this. Let's be sensible here. He's a
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: great guy. A mistake, you're making a mistake.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: But pretty woman, A huge, a big mistake, you know.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: I remember this is how corny I am.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I remember.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: When he said to me, he's about nine or ten
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: and he said, Aunt tammern, I just want to stay
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: a kid forever. And he was just saying something and
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: it hit me in a different way, you know, because
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: when a kid says I just want to stay a
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: kid forever, You're like, yes, you do you know? Because
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: I in a flash all of the things that he
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: would face and will face, and that we all face
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: and you know, are around the corner, and it just
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: I remember sobbing, like just crying because I that that
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: response meant something so different to me than to him.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think it's it's so interesting and light.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: You said you had John hight On this sort of
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: feeling of like kind of wanting wanting to give the independence,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Like what does it mean to prepare somebody to not
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: just not to like to prepare them for a time
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: when you won't pack their socks? You know, he's not
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: like the whole thing of parenting is like to prepare
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: your kid to remember their own socks.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and preparing your bird to fly.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: We we have a house in like this little rural
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: area and there's this mama bird. And this sounds like
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: some kind of like a little house on the prairie story,
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: but it's true.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: She comes back every year and she lays.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Her eggs right in this awning that I have and
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: elsewhere three years in a row. I don't know if
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: she's the same bird or she just spread the word
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: as a safe tree are getting. She's like this lady
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Camvert Hall has the best daycare ever.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Nice. This awning is amazing it's free. She doesn't close
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: the awning. I mean, like I let them hold my
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: aunting hostage. I don't open it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Clothes we're like swelping in the heat, and I'm like, girl,
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: it's yours, but you know it's it's we know, like
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: the Mama bird and Mama Bear, all of these things
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: that we talk about, this protection of your offspring, and
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: it is the biggest part is preparing them.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And it looks different. I mean I grew up, as
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I said, in rural Texas.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: So I look at my son's life sometimes and well
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: he takes the bus van. Now he's so proud of him.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: So this year he takes a van school. But he
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: was walking last year. And we live in the heart
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: of New York City. And I had this this moment
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: of crisis because the corner we walk past every day
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: happens to be a corner that is heavily populated by
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: people experiencing homelessness. I don't know if there's a shelter near,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: but I never found out exactly why this particular corner
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: and it's just fourteenth and Fifth.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's not like a ran right in middle
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: heart of New York City.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: This one corner and we would walk past people, and
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: I didn't know quite how to have this conversation. First,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: he's four three or four years old, And I said,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: God is living in New York City preparing my child
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: to be a more compassionate person or a person who
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: sees a person sleeping on the street as usual. And
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: the reason why I bring that up again is not,
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm on some high horse kick about oh
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: what kind of kid am I raising? But it was
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: so different from my childhood and that I would have.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: And by the way, not just because I was born
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: in nineteen seventy. None of my you know, family members
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: see that on the regular where we live, you don't.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: You see other.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Stripes and struggles of course, of course, but not that
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: particular thing. So as you're preparing your child, as we're
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: talking about, for whatever life presents, life doesn't that map
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: is not the same for all of us. But yet
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: we all have this opportunity at some point potentially to
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: encounter each other. So we come with different skill sets.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: So I'm trying to allow him to have the skill
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: sets that I had as a child, growing up, a
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: very free child. I ran down the street at all
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: kinds of things that. I mean, my favorite memories were
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: me and my cousin like crawling under the house because
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: this cat had had a baby. We're gonna get the
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: babies and raise them as our own because we're like
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: feral as a cat.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Now we know where the bird story is coming.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: My whole childho was rescuing and homeless cats and things.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: But but now having my son and trying to give
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: him a little bit of what I had, and also
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: the skill set that he has now that he'll need
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: if he continues to live in New York. But yeah,
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: it's all about preparing them and going back to the
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: core of what you asked.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: The thing that kept me up was the Google thing
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: with with the coat.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: And it might sound like watch not to put our kids,
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: but it is the fear of not having them prepared.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I think it's such a great illustration that these things
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: that seem like small fears are all kind of a
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: part of some bigger thing, which is just like it's
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: hard to parent and it's scary to try to do it,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: to try to do it right. It is Tameron, thank
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: you for being here
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Welcome, Thank you for having me