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34. Boundaries Are Like Broccoli · Burning Brightly

• 0:00
  listening
• 0:00
  to
• 0:00
  episode
• 0:00
  30,
• 0:00
  four
• 0:01
  of
• 0:01
  burning
• 0:01
  brightly
• 0:02
  boundaries
• 0:02
  are
• 0:02
  like
• 0:02
  broccoli.
• 0:04
  This
• 0:04
  is
• 0:04
  burning
• 0:05
  brightly,
• 0:05
  a
• 0:05
  podcast
• 0:06
  for
• 0:06
  Christian
• 0:06
  moms
• 0:07
  who
• 0:07
  are
• 0:07
  feeling
• 0:07
  called
• 0:08
  to
• 0:08
  build
• 0:08
  a
• 0:08
  business
• 0:08
  and
• 0:08
  share
• 0:09
  their
• 0:09
  light
• 0:09
  with
• 0:09
  the
• 0:09
  world.
• 0:10
  I'm
• 0:10
  Bonnie
• 0:11
  Wiscombe,
• 0:11
  a
• 0:11
  life
• 0:11
  coach,
• 0:12
  mom,
• 0:12
  and
• 0:12
  entrepreneur.
• 0:13
  And
• 0:13
  I'm
• 0:13
  honored
• 0:14
  to
• 0:14
  be
• 0:14
  your
• 0:14
  guide
• 0:14
  as
• 0:14
  you
• 0:14
  face
• 0:15
  this
• 0:15
  business
• 0:15
  building
• 0:15
  adventure
• 0:16
  full
• 0:16
  of
• 0:16
  highs,
• 0:17
  lows,
• 0:17
  and
• 0:17
  everything
• 0:18
  in
• 0:18
  between.
• 0:19
  This
• 0:19
  is
• 0:19
  where
• 0:19
  we
• 0:19
  help
• 0:20
  each
• 0:20
  other
• 0:20
  find
• 0:20
  the
• 0:20
  courage
• 0:21
  to
• 0:21
  shine.
• 0:31
  Welcome
• 0:31
  back
• 0:31
  to
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  podcast.
• 0:32
  My
• 0:32
  friends,
• 0:33
  before
• 0:33
  we
• 0:33
  get
• 0:33
  started,
• 0:33
  I
• 0:34
  wanted
• 0:34
  to
• 0:34
  tell
• 0:34
  you
• 0:34
  about
• 0:34
  an
• 0:35
  awesome
• 0:35
  audio
• 0:36
  summit
• 0:36
  that
• 0:36
  I
• 0:36
  am
• 0:36
  putting
• 0:37
  on
• 0:37
  starting
• 0:38
  next
• 0:38
  week.
• 0:39
  And
• 0:39
  it
• 0:39
  is
• 0:39
  going
• 0:39
  to
• 0:39
  be
• 0:40
  for
• 0:40
  any
• 0:40
  life
• 0:40
  coach
• 0:41
  who
• 0:41
  is
• 0:42
  new
• 0:42
  or
• 0:42
  stalled
• 0:43
  and
• 0:43
  really
• 0:43
  struggling
• 0:44
  to
• 0:44
  get
• 0:44
  their
• 0:44
  business
• 0:45
  up
• 0:45
  and
• 0:45
  running.
• 0:45
  I
• 0:45
  have
• 0:46
  six
• 0:46
  expert
• 0:46
  guests,
• 0:47
  including
• 0:47
  myself
• 0:47
  talking
• 0:48
  about
• 0:48
  all
• 0:49
  the
• 0:49
  topics
• 0:49
  necessary
• 0:49
  to
• 0:50
  bust
• 0:50
  through
• 0:50
  those
• 0:51
  challenges
• 0:51
  that
• 0:51
  we
• 0:51
  have
• 0:51
  at
• 0:51
  the
• 0:52
  beginning
• 0:52
  of
• 0:52
  launching
• 0:52
  our
• 0:52
  coaching
• 0:53
  business.
• 0:53
  Including
• 0:54
  how
• 0:54
  to
• 0:54
  find
• 0:54
  on-camera
• 0:55
  confidence,
• 0:56
  how
• 0:56
  to
• 0:56
  balance
• 0:57
  work
• 0:57
  and
• 0:57
  family,
• 0:58
  how
• 0:58
  to
• 0:59
  find
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  right
• 0:59
  niche,
• 0:59
  create
• 1:00
  the
• 1:00
  perfect
• 1:00
  offer,
• 1:01
  overcome
• 1:01
  tech
• 1:02
  overwhelm,
• 1:03
  all
• 1:03
  the
• 1:03
  things
• 1:03
  that
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  see
• 1:04
  new
• 1:04
  coaches
• 1:04
  struggle
• 1:04
  with
• 1:05
  so
• 1:05
  much.
• 1:05
  So
• 1:06
  registration
• 1:06
  opens
• 1:06
  on
• 1:06
  Monday,
• 1:07
  November
• 1:07
  27th.
• 1:08
  Check
• 1:08
  out
• 1:08
  the
• 1:08
  link
• 1:09
  in
• 1:09
  the
• 1:09
  show
• 1:09
  notes
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  make
• 1:09
  sure
• 1:10
  that
• 1:10
  you
• 1:10
  register
• 1:10
  it
• 1:10
  is
• 1:11
  totally
• 1:11
  free.
• 1:11
  And
• 1:11
  I
• 1:11
  And
• 1:12
  I
• 1:12
  want
• 1:12
  you
• 1:12
  to
• 1:12
  have
• 1:12
  access
• 1:12
  to
• 1:13
  all
• 1:13
  these
• 1:13
  amazing
• 1:13
  experts
• 1:14
  so
• 1:14
  that
• 1:14
  you
• 1:14
  can
• 1:14
  finally
• 1:15
  get
• 1:15
  that
• 1:15
  business
• 1:15
  up
• 1:16
  and
• 1:16
  running.
• 1:16
  Boundaries.
• 1:20
  Boundaries
• 1:20
  are
• 1:20
  a
• 1:21
  real
• 1:21
  hot
• 1:21
  button
• 1:22
  topic
• 1:22
  right
• 1:22
  now.
• 1:23
  Thankfully,
• 1:23
  I
• 1:23
  think
• 1:24
  more
• 1:24
  and
• 1:24
  more
• 1:24
  of
• 1:25
  us
• 1:25
  are
• 1:25
  waking
• 1:25
  up
• 1:26
  to
• 1:26
  the
• 1:26
  importance
• 1:26
  of
• 1:27
  mental
• 1:27
  health.
• 1:28
  And
• 1:28
  we're
• 1:28
  understanding
• 1:28
  what
• 1:29
  boundaries
• 1:29
  are,
• 1:30
  why
• 1:30
  we
• 1:30
  need
• 1:30
  them,
• 1:31
  how
• 1:31
  to
• 1:31
  enforce
• 1:31
  them.
• 1:32
  What
• 1:32
  happens
• 1:32
  when
• 1:32
  they
• 1:32
  break
• 1:33
  down
• 1:33
  or
• 1:33
  we
• 1:33
  do
• 1:33
  not
• 1:34
  enforce
• 1:34
  them.
• 1:35
  And
• 1:35
  hopefully
• 1:36
  we're
• 1:36
  all
• 1:36
  getting
• 1:37
  a
• 1:37
  better
• 1:38
  grasp
• 1:38
  of
• 1:38
  how
• 1:39
  important
• 1:39
  these
• 1:39
  boundaries
• 1:40
  are.
• 1:40
  So
• 1:41
  I
• 1:41
  hope
• 1:41
  it
• 1:41
  is
• 1:41
  obvious
• 1:41
  why
• 1:42
  I
• 1:42
  named
• 1:42
  this
• 1:42
  episode
• 1:43
  a
• 1:43
  little
• 1:43
  tongue
• 1:43
  in
• 1:43
  cheek
• 1:43
  that
• 1:44
  boundaries
• 1:44
  are
• 1:44
  like
• 1:44
  broccoli,
• 1:45
  because
• 1:46
  they
• 1:46
  are
• 1:46
  something
• 1:46
  that.
• 1:47
  Our
• 1:48
  minds
• 1:48
  desperately
• 1:49
  need
• 1:49
  it,
• 1:49
  just
• 1:50
  like
• 1:50
  our
• 1:50
  bodies
• 1:50
  need
• 1:50
  broccoli,
• 1:51
  but
• 1:51
  they're
• 1:51
  not
• 1:51
  always
• 1:52
  fun
• 1:52
  to
• 1:52
  eat.
• 1:54
  Like
• 1:54
  vegetables,
• 1:54
  right?
• 1:55
  Now
• 1:55
  I
• 1:56
  almost
• 1:56
  called
• 1:56
  it
• 1:56
  boundaries
• 1:56
  or
• 1:56
  like
• 1:57
  Brussels
• 1:57
  sprouts,
• 1:57
  but
• 1:57
  I
• 1:57
  actually
• 1:58
  love
• 1:58
  brussel
• 1:58
  sprouts.
• 1:59
  Why
• 1:59
  did
• 1:59
  they
• 1:59
  get
• 1:59
  such
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  bad
• 2:00
  rap?
• 2:00
  I
• 2:00
  don't
• 2:00
  know.
• 2:00
  They're
• 2:01
  one
• 2:01
  of
• 2:01
  my
• 2:01
  favorites,
• 2:01
  but
• 2:02
  boundaries
• 2:02
  are
• 2:02
  similar
• 2:03
  to
• 2:03
  those
• 2:03
  vegetables
• 2:03
  that
• 2:03
  you
• 2:04
  could
• 2:04
  take
• 2:04
  or
• 2:04
  leave,
• 2:05
  Not
• 2:05
  your
• 2:05
  favorite.
• 2:05
  You
• 2:05
  know,
• 2:06
  you're,
• 2:06
  they're
• 2:06
  good
• 2:06
  for
• 2:06
  you.
• 2:07
  And
• 2:07
  actually
• 2:07
  boundaries
• 2:08
  are
• 2:08
  not
• 2:08
  only
• 2:08
  good
• 2:09
  for
• 2:09
  you,
• 2:09
  coincidentally,
• 2:09
  they
• 2:10
  are
• 2:10
  good
• 2:10
  for
• 2:10
  the
• 2:10
  people
• 2:10
  around
• 2:11
  you,
• 2:12
  but
• 2:12
  they're
• 2:12
  not
• 2:12
  particularly
• 2:13
  fun
• 2:13
  to
• 2:13
  deal
• 2:13
  with.
• 2:14
  Kind
• 2:14
  of
• 2:15
  like
• 2:15
  how
• 2:15
  you're
• 2:15
  probably
• 2:15
  not
• 2:16
  going
• 2:16
  to
• 2:16
  sit
• 2:16
  down
• 2:16
  with
• 2:16
  a
• 2:17
  plate
• 2:17
  of
• 2:17
  broccoli
• 2:18
  and
• 2:18
  just
• 2:18
  eat
• 2:18
  it
• 2:18
  for
• 2:18
  a
• 2:18
  snack
• 2:19
  during
• 2:19
  an
• 2:19
  Netflix
• 2:20
  binge
• 2:20
  session,
• 2:20
  not
• 2:21
  your
• 2:21
  idea
• 2:22
  of
• 2:22
  a
• 2:22
  favorite
• 2:22
  snack,
• 2:23
  Not
• 2:23
  the
• 2:23
  most
• 2:24
  fun,
• 2:24
  but
• 2:24
  very
• 2:25
  necessary.
• 2:27
  Also
• 2:27
  easy
• 2:27
  to
• 2:27
  ignore
• 2:28
  them
• 2:29
  but
• 2:29
  they're
• 2:29
  critical
• 2:29
  for
• 2:29
  our
• 2:30
  health
• 2:30
  and
• 2:30
  the
• 2:31
  health
• 2:31
  of
• 2:31
  our
• 2:31
  relationships.
• 2:32
  So
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  have
• 2:33
  an
• 2:33
  analogy
• 2:33
  for
• 2:33
  you
• 2:34
  guys,
• 2:34
  shocker,
• 2:35
  the
• 2:35
  queen
• 2:35
  of
• 2:35
  analogies.
• 2:35
  But
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  always
• 2:36
  have
• 2:36
  to
• 2:36
  have
• 2:36
  something
• 2:36
  to
• 2:36
  compare
• 2:37
  these,
• 2:37
  concepts
• 2:37
  to,
• 2:38
  to
• 2:38
  help
• 2:38
  me
• 2:38
  understand
• 2:38
  it
• 2:38
  a
• 2:38
  little
• 2:39
  bit
• 2:39
  better.
• 2:40
  Think
• 2:40
  about
• 2:40
  the
• 2:40
  last
• 2:41
  time
• 2:41
  that
• 2:41
  you
• 2:41
  went
• 2:41
  on
• 2:41
  a
• 2:41
  rollercoaster,
• 2:42
  one
• 2:42
  of
• 2:42
  those
• 2:42
  really
• 2:43
  crazy
• 2:43
  ones
• 2:43
  that
• 2:43
  shoots
• 2:44
  you
• 2:44
  60
• 2:44
  miles
• 2:45
  an
• 2:45
  hour
• 2:45
  and
• 2:45
  flips
• 2:45
  you
• 2:45
  upside
• 2:46
  down
• 2:46
  and
• 2:46
  does
• 2:46
  all
• 2:46
  these
• 2:46
  crazy
• 2:46
  things.
• 2:47
  You
• 2:47
  sit
• 2:48
  down
• 2:48
  in
• 2:48
  the
• 2:48
  seat.
• 2:49
  You
• 2:49
  pulled
• 2:49
  down
• 2:49
  the
• 2:49
  harness
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  what's
• 2:50
  the
• 2:50
  first
• 2:51
  thing
• 2:51
  you
• 2:51
  do
• 2:51
  once
• 2:51
  that
• 2:51
  harness
• 2:52
  locks.
• 2:53
  You
• 2:53
  push
• 2:53
  against
• 2:54
  it.
• 2:55
  Now,
• 2:55
  why
• 2:55
  are
• 2:55
  we
• 2:56
  pushing
• 2:56
  against
• 2:57
  the
• 2:57
  harness?
• 2:58
  we
• 2:58
  hoping
• 2:59
  the
• 2:59
  restraint
• 2:59
  mechanism
• 3:00
  will
• 3:00
  fail?
• 3:01
  No,
• 3:02
  we're
• 3:02
  pushing
• 3:02
  back
• 3:02
  to
• 3:03
  ensure
• 3:03
  that
• 3:03
  it
• 3:04
  is
• 3:04
  secure.
• 3:05
  We
• 3:05
  want
• 3:05
  to
• 3:05
  know
• 3:05
  100%
• 3:07
  whether
• 3:07
  or
• 3:07
  not
• 3:08
  this
• 3:08
  thing
• 3:08
  will
• 3:08
  hold
• 3:08
  us
• 3:08
  in
• 3:09
  because
• 3:09
  it's
• 3:09
  freaky
• 3:10
  and
• 3:10
  scary
• 3:10
  when
• 3:11
  we're
• 3:11
  flipping
• 3:11
  upside
• 3:11
  down.
• 3:12
  So
• 3:12
  the
• 3:12
  analogy
• 3:13
  was
• 3:13
  actually
• 3:13
  first
• 3:13
  explained
• 3:14
  to
• 3:14
  me
• 3:14
  in
• 3:14
  terms
• 3:14
  of
• 3:15
  teenagers
• 3:15
  and
• 3:15
  how
• 3:15
  they
• 3:15
  push
• 3:16
  back
• 3:16
  against
• 3:16
  boundaries
• 3:17
  and
• 3:17
  restrictions.
• 3:18
  Sometimes
• 3:18
  now
• 3:19
  they're
• 3:19
  not
• 3:19
  hoping
• 3:20
  that
• 3:20
  those
• 3:20
  boundaries
• 3:20
  fail.
• 3:21
  They
• 3:21
  want
• 3:21
  to
• 3:21
  know
• 3:22
  where
• 3:22
  the
• 3:22
  line
• 3:23
  lies
• 3:23
  so
• 3:24
  that
• 3:24
  they
• 3:24
  can
• 3:24
  feel
• 3:24
  safe
• 3:25
  in
• 3:25
  their
• 3:25
  relationship
• 3:25
  with
• 3:25
  us
• 3:26
  and
• 3:26
  in
• 3:26
  the
• 3:26
  big
• 3:26
  wide
• 3:27
  world
• 3:27
  that
• 3:27
  they're
• 3:27
  exploring.
• 3:29
  So
• 3:29
  that's
• 3:29
  a
• 3:29
  whole
• 3:30
  other
• 3:30
  discussion
• 3:30
  about
• 3:30
  how
• 3:30
  important
• 3:31
  boundaries
• 3:31
  are
• 3:31
  with
• 3:32
  kids,
• 3:32
  but
• 3:32
  the
• 3:32
  same
• 3:33
  holds
• 3:33
  true
• 3:33
  with
• 3:33
  boundaries
• 3:34
  for
• 3:34
  others,
• 3:34
  for
• 3:35
  the
• 3:35
  adults
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  our
• 3:35
  life.
• 3:36
  People
• 3:37
  often
• 3:37
  push
• 3:37
  back,
• 3:38
  especially
• 3:38
  if
• 3:39
  they
• 3:39
  don't
• 3:39
  know
• 3:39
  how
• 3:39
  to
• 3:39
  honor
• 3:40
  a
• 3:40
  boundary.
• 3:41
  Now,
• 3:41
  maybe
• 3:41
  you
• 3:41
  haven't
• 3:41
  taught
• 3:42
  them
• 3:42
  how
• 3:42
  to
• 3:42
  honor
• 3:43
  your
• 3:43
  boundaries,
• 3:43
  or
• 3:43
  maybe
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  just
• 3:44
  haven't
• 3:44
  even
• 3:44
  communicated
• 3:45
  with
• 3:45
  them
• 3:45
  that
• 3:46
  it
• 3:46
  is
• 3:46
  a
• 3:46
  boundary.
• 3:47
  So
• 3:47
  just
• 3:47
  notice
• 3:48
  that
• 3:48
  when
• 3:48
  there
• 3:48
  is
• 3:48
  pushing
• 3:49
  back
• 3:49
  on
• 3:49
  the
• 3:49
  boundaries
• 3:49
  that
• 3:50
  you
• 3:50
  set
• 3:50
  up,
• 3:50
  it's
• 3:50
  totally
• 3:51
  okay.
• 3:51
  It
• 3:51
  doesn't
• 3:52
  mean
• 3:52
  you
• 3:52
  need
• 3:52
  to
• 3:52
  drop
• 3:53
  the
• 3:53
  boundary.
• 3:53
  It
• 3:53
  doesn't
• 3:53
  mean
• 3:54
  that
• 3:54
  you've
• 3:54
  done
• 3:54
  anything
• 3:54
  wrong.
• 3:55
  It
• 3:55
  just
• 3:56
  requires
• 3:56
  a
• 3:56
  little
• 3:56
  bit
• 3:57
  of
• 3:57
  education,
• 3:57
  a
• 3:57
  little
• 3:58
  bit
• 3:58
  of
• 3:58
  adjustment
• 3:58
  in
• 3:59
  order
• 3:59
  for
• 3:59
  you
• 3:59
  to
• 3:59
  enforce
• 4:00
  it.
• 4:01
  Now,
• 4:01
  let
• 4:01
  me
• 4:01
  also
• 4:01
  point
• 4:01
  out
• 4:02
  here
• 4:02
  that
• 4:02
  the
• 4:02
  looser,
• 4:02
  the
• 4:03
  boundary
• 4:03
  is
• 4:03
  just
• 4:04
  like
• 4:04
  the
• 4:04
  restraint
• 4:04
  on
• 4:04
  a
• 4:04
  rollercoaster.
• 4:06
  The
• 4:06
  more
• 4:06
  uncomfortable
• 4:07
  we
• 4:07
  are.
• 4:07
  Imagine
• 4:08
  going
• 4:08
  on
• 4:08
  a
• 4:08
  crazy
• 4:09
  flip
• 4:09
  you
• 4:09
  upside
• 4:09
  down
• 4:10
  rollercoaster
• 4:10
  and
• 4:10
  the
• 4:10
  restraint
• 4:11
  is
• 4:11
  wiggling.
• 4:12
  I
• 4:12
  would
• 4:13
  be
• 4:13
  screaming
• 4:13
  my
• 4:13
  head
• 4:13
  off
• 4:14
  more
• 4:14
  so
• 4:15
  than
• 4:15
  what
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  normally
• 4:15
  do
• 4:15
  on
• 4:15
  a
• 4:15
  rollercoaster.
• 4:16
  Same
• 4:17
  thing
• 4:17
  with
• 4:17
  boundaries.
• 4:17
  It
• 4:17
  makes
• 4:17
  everyone
• 4:18
  uncomfortable
• 4:18
  when
• 4:19
  we're
• 4:19
  not
• 4:19
  sure
• 4:19
  where
• 4:19
  the
• 4:20
  line
• 4:20
  lies.
• 4:21
  So
• 4:21
  those
• 4:22
  tight
• 4:22
  boundaries
• 4:22
  in
• 4:23
  our
• 4:23
  relationships,
• 4:23
  they
• 4:23
  keep
• 4:23
  us
• 4:24
  safe
• 4:24
  and
• 4:24
  comfortable.
• 4:25
  And
• 4:25
  keep
• 4:25
  everyone
• 4:26
  happy.
• 4:27
  Now
• 4:27
  before
• 4:27
  we
• 4:27
  go
• 4:27
  any
• 4:27
  further,
• 4:28
  let's
• 4:28
  define
• 4:28
  what
• 4:29
  a
• 4:29
  boundary
• 4:29
  is.
• 4:30
  The
• 4:30
  best
• 4:30
  definition
• 4:31
  I've
• 4:31
  ever
• 4:31
  heard
• 4:31
  is
• 4:32
  that
• 4:32
  a
• 4:32
  boundary
• 4:32
  is
• 4:32
  where
• 4:33
  one
• 4:33
  person
• 4:33
  ends
• 4:34
  and
• 4:34
  where
• 4:34
  another
• 4:35
  one
• 4:35
  begins.
• 4:36
  It's
• 4:36
  kind
• 4:36
  of
• 4:36
  like.
• 4:37
  Uh,
• 4:37
  personal
• 4:38
  space
• 4:38
  fence
• 4:38
  only.
• 4:39
  It
• 4:39
  goes
• 4:39
  well
• 4:39
  beyond
• 4:40
  just
• 4:40
  personal
• 4:40
  space.
• 4:41
  But
• 4:41
  part
• 4:42
  of
• 4:42
  what
• 4:42
  we
• 4:42
  learn
• 4:42
  as
• 4:42
  we
• 4:42
  grow
• 4:43
  up
• 4:43
  where
• 4:43
  one
• 4:44
  person's
• 4:44
  personal
• 4:44
  space
• 4:45
  or
• 4:45
  desires
• 4:46
  ends
• 4:46
  and
• 4:46
  where
• 4:47
  ours
• 4:47
  begins.
• 4:48
  At
• 4:48
  the
• 4:48
  beginning
• 4:49
  when
• 4:49
  you're
• 4:49
  a
• 4:49
  child.
• 4:50
  That
• 4:51
  doesn't
• 4:51
  exist.
• 4:51
  Right?
• 4:51
  all
• 4:51
  over
• 4:52
  your
• 4:52
  mom
• 4:52
  all
• 4:52
  the
• 4:52
  time.
• 4:52
  You're
• 4:52
  in
• 4:53
  the
• 4:53
  bathroom
• 4:53
  with
• 4:53
  her.
• 4:54
  We
• 4:54
  all
• 4:54
  know
• 4:54
  as
• 4:54
  moms
• 4:54
  that,
• 4:55
  that
• 4:55
  just
• 4:56
  kids
• 4:56
  don't
• 4:56
  get
• 4:56
  that,
• 4:57
  that
• 4:57
  kind
• 4:57
  of
• 4:57
  personal
• 4:57
  space
• 4:58
  boundary.
• 4:59
  But
• 4:59
  this
• 4:59
  is
• 4:59
  something
• 4:59
  that
• 4:59
  eventually
• 5:00
  we
• 5:00
  all
• 5:00
  learn.
• 5:01
  Most
• 5:01
  of
• 5:01
  us
• 5:02
  actually
• 5:02
  don't
• 5:02
  realize
• 5:02
  that
• 5:03
  we
• 5:03
  have,
• 5:03
  or
• 5:03
  need
• 5:04
  these
• 5:04
  boundaries
• 5:04
  until
• 5:05
  someone
• 5:05
  crosses
• 5:06
  one.
• 5:06
  So,
• 5:07
  let
• 5:07
  me
• 5:07
  give
• 5:07
  you
• 5:07
  a
• 5:07
  few
• 5:07
  examples
• 5:07
  to
• 5:08
  make
• 5:08
  this
• 5:08
  a
• 5:08
  little
• 5:08
  bit
• 5:08
  clearer.
• 5:09
  Who
• 5:10
  is
• 5:10
  allowed
• 5:10
  to
• 5:11
  come
• 5:11
  into
• 5:11
  your
• 5:11
  home
• 5:12
  without
• 5:12
  knocking.
• 5:12
  Is
• 5:13
  there
• 5:13
  anyone
• 5:13
  in
• 5:13
  your
• 5:13
  life
• 5:13
  that
• 5:13
  can
• 5:14
  just
• 5:14
  walk
• 5:14
  in
• 5:14
  your
• 5:14
  house
• 5:15
  besides
• 5:15
  your
• 5:15
  immediate
• 5:16
  family
• 5:16
  members?
• 5:17
  So
• 5:17
  that
• 5:17
  might
• 5:17
  be
• 5:18
  an
• 5:18
  extended
• 5:18
  family
• 5:19
  member.
• 5:19
  It
• 5:19
  might
• 5:20
  be
• 5:20
  a
• 5:20
  close
• 5:20
  neighbor
• 5:20
  or
• 5:21
  a
• 5:21
  best
• 5:21
  friend
• 5:22
  might
• 5:22
  be
• 5:22
  one
• 5:22
  of
• 5:22
  your
• 5:22
  kid's
• 5:23
  friends.
• 5:24
  Maybe
• 5:24
  there's
• 5:24
  nobody
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  allowed
• 5:25
  to
• 5:25
  do
• 5:25
  that.
• 5:26
  That
• 5:26
  is
• 5:26
  a
• 5:26
  boundary
• 5:26
  that
• 5:26
  you've
• 5:27
  created..
• 5:28
  Another
• 5:28
  example,
• 5:28
  who
• 5:29
  is
• 5:29
  allowed
• 5:29
  to
• 5:29
  hug
• 5:29
  you
• 5:30
  without
• 5:30
  first
• 5:30
  asking.
• 5:31
  Another
• 5:32
  boundary.
• 5:33
  What
• 5:33
  pet
• 5:33
  names
• 5:33
  or
• 5:34
  nicknames
• 5:34
  can
• 5:34
  people
• 5:35
  call
• 5:35
  you?
• 5:36
  Boundary,
• 5:36
  so
• 5:36
  all
• 5:37
  of
• 5:37
  these
• 5:37
  are
• 5:37
  instances
• 5:37
  of
• 5:38
  boundaries
• 5:39
  and
• 5:39
  very
• 5:39
  often
• 5:39
  instances
• 5:40
  where
• 5:40
  these
• 5:40
  boundaries
• 5:41
  get
• 5:41
  crossed.
• 5:42
  And
• 5:43
  all
• 5:43
  of
• 5:43
  this
• 5:43
  is
• 5:43
  relative.
• 5:44
  Everybody
• 5:44
  has
• 5:44
  boundaries
• 5:45
  that
• 5:45
  are
• 5:45
  different,
• 5:46
  which
• 5:46
  is
• 5:46
  why
• 5:47
  it
• 5:47
  requires
• 5:47
  some
• 5:47
  given
• 5:48
  take
• 5:48
  in
• 5:48
  a
• 5:48
  relationship
• 5:49
  to
• 5:49
  understand
• 5:49
  where
• 5:49
  someone
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  comfortable
• 5:50
  versus
• 5:51
  where
• 5:51
  you're
• 5:51
  comfortable.
• 5:52
  Let's
• 5:52
  say
• 5:52
  for
• 5:52
  example,
• 5:53
  that
• 5:53
  in
• 5:53
  my
• 5:53
  mind,
• 5:54
  once
• 5:54
  I
• 5:54
  have
• 5:55
  your
• 5:55
  number
• 5:55
  programmed
• 5:55
  in
• 5:55
  my
• 5:56
  phone,
• 5:56
  I
• 5:56
  think
• 5:57
  that
• 5:57
  means
• 5:57
  I
• 5:57
  can
• 5:57
  just
• 5:57
  walk
• 5:58
  into
• 5:58
  your
• 5:58
  house.
• 5:59
  Or
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  can
• 5:59
  just
• 5:59
  call
• 5:59
  you
• 6:00
  anytime
• 6:00
  I
• 6:00
  want
• 6:00
  and
• 6:01
  talk
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  you
• 6:01
  for
• 6:02
  an
• 6:02
  hour.
• 6:02
  Maybe
• 6:03
  my
• 6:03
  neighbor
• 6:03
  does
• 6:03
  nothing.
• 6:04
  That's
• 6:04
  the
• 6:04
  case.
• 6:05
  That
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  have
• 6:05
  to
• 6:05
  be
• 6:05
  friends
• 6:05
  with
• 6:06
  her
• 6:06
  for
• 6:06
  10
• 6:06
  or
• 6:06
  15
• 6:06
  years
• 6:07
  before
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  can
• 6:07
  ever
• 6:08
  walk
• 6:08
  into
• 6:08
  her
• 6:08
  house.
• 6:09
  Then
• 6:10
  we're
• 6:10
  going
• 6:10
  to
• 6:10
  have
• 6:10
  a
• 6:10
  little
• 6:10
  bit
• 6:10
  of
• 6:10
  a
• 6:10
  clash.
• 6:11
  We'll
• 6:11
  eventually
• 6:11
  have
• 6:12
  to
• 6:12
  come
• 6:12
  to
• 6:12
  some
• 6:12
  sort
• 6:12
  of
• 6:13
  an
• 6:13
  agreement
• 6:13
  about
• 6:13
  what
• 6:14
  boundaries
• 6:14
  she
• 6:14
  has,
• 6:15
  what
• 6:15
  boundaries
• 6:15
  I
• 6:15
  have
• 6:15
  and
• 6:16
  where
• 6:16
  we
• 6:16
  can
• 6:16
  meet
• 6:16
  in
• 6:16
  the
• 6:16
  middle.
• 6:17
  Now,
• 6:18
  I'll
• 6:18
  say
• 6:18
  here
• 6:18
  that
• 6:18
  very
• 6:19
  often,
• 6:19
  we
• 6:19
  are
• 6:19
  surrounded
• 6:20
  for
• 6:20
  most
• 6:20
  of
• 6:20
  our
• 6:20
  life
• 6:21
  by
• 6:21
  people
• 6:21
  who
• 6:21
  have
• 6:21
  similar
• 6:22
  boundaries
• 6:22
  as
• 6:22
  us,
• 6:23
  especially
• 6:23
  if
• 6:23
  we
• 6:23
  were
• 6:24
  raised
• 6:24
  in
• 6:24
  the
• 6:24
  same
• 6:25
  town,
• 6:25
  siblings
• 6:26
  were
• 6:26
  raised
• 6:26
  in
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  same
• 6:26
  household
• 6:27
  with
• 6:27
  us.
• 6:27
  Very
• 6:27
  often.
• 6:28
  We
• 6:28
  grow
• 6:28
  up
• 6:29
  expecting
• 6:29
  people
• 6:29
  to
• 6:29
  behave
• 6:30
  similarly
• 6:31
  to
• 6:31
  us
• 6:31
  because.
• 6:32
  They're
• 6:32
  just
• 6:32
  in
• 6:33
  our
• 6:33
  same
• 6:33
  community
• 6:34
  in
• 6:34
  our
• 6:34
  same
• 6:34
  family.
• 6:35
  But
• 6:35
  I
• 6:35
  promise
• 6:35
  you
• 6:36
  that
• 6:36
  as
• 6:36
  the
• 6:36
  date
• 6:36
  is
• 6:37
  long,
• 6:37
  eventually
• 6:38
  someone
• 6:39
  will
• 6:39
  come
• 6:39
  slamming
• 6:40
  through
• 6:41
  your
• 6:41
  boundaries.
• 6:42
  And
• 6:42
  very
• 6:42
  often
• 6:42
  they
• 6:42
  will
• 6:43
  have
• 6:43
  zero
• 6:43
  clue
• 6:43
  that
• 6:43
  they
• 6:43
  are
• 6:44
  doing
• 6:44
  it.
• 6:44
  And
• 6:44
  that
• 6:45
  is
• 6:45
  when
• 6:45
  there's
• 6:45
  a
• 6:45
  boundary
• 6:45
  problem.
• 6:46
  That
• 6:46
  is
• 6:47
  when
• 6:47
  your
• 6:47
  eyes
• 6:47
  open
• 6:47
  up
• 6:48
  to
• 6:49
  this
• 6:49
  phenomenon
• 6:49
  of
• 6:49
  boundaries
• 6:50
  and
• 6:50
  you
• 6:50
  go,
• 6:51
  oh,
• 6:51
  hold
• 6:51
  on
• 6:51
  a
• 6:51
  second.
• 6:52
  That
• 6:52
  is
• 6:52
  not
• 6:52
  okay
• 6:53
  with
• 6:53
  me.
• 6:54
  Now
• 6:54
  think
• 6:54
  for
• 6:54
  a
• 6:55
  second
• 6:55
  about
• 6:55
  what
• 6:55
  it
• 6:55
  feels
• 6:56
  like
• 6:56
  to
• 6:56
  have
• 6:56
  someone
• 6:57
  slam
• 6:57
  through
• 6:58
  a
• 6:58
  boundary
• 6:58
  like
• 6:58
  that.
• 6:59
  It
• 6:59
  feels
• 6:59
  a
• 6:59
  little
• 6:59
  violating
• 7:00
  Think
• 7:00
  for
• 7:01
  a
• 7:01
  second,
• 7:01
  if
• 7:01
  a
• 7:01
  random
• 7:01
  stranger
• 7:02
  were
• 7:02
  to
• 7:02
  come
• 7:02
  up
• 7:02
  to
• 7:02
  you
• 7:02
  and
• 7:02
  hug
• 7:03
  you
• 7:03
  out
• 7:03
  of
• 7:03
  nowhere.
• 7:04
  Oh,
• 7:04
  violating.
• 7:05
  Or
• 7:05
  if
• 7:05
  you've
• 7:05
  ever
• 7:06
  been
• 7:06
  pregnant,
• 7:06
  a
• 7:06
  random
• 7:06
  stranger
• 7:07
  come
• 7:07
  up
• 7:07
  and
• 7:07
  rub
• 7:07
  your
• 7:07
  belly.
• 7:08
  Happens
• 7:08
  all
• 7:08
  the
• 7:08
  time.
• 7:09
  Super
• 7:09
  awkward.
• 7:10
  Or
• 7:11
  somebody
• 7:11
  just
• 7:11
  hops
• 7:12
  in
• 7:12
  your
• 7:12
  car
• 7:12
  without
• 7:12
  permission.
• 7:13
  Feels
• 7:14
  a
• 7:14
  little
• 7:14
  violating.
• 7:15
  So
• 7:15
  these
• 7:16
  are
• 7:16
  boundary
• 7:16
  violations
• 7:17
  and
• 7:17
  admittedly,
• 7:17
  they
• 7:17
  are
• 7:18
  extreme
• 7:18
  examples,
• 7:19
  but
• 7:19
  a
• 7:19
  neighbor
• 7:20
  who
• 7:20
  may
• 7:20
  be
• 7:20
  overstays
• 7:21
  her
• 7:21
  welcome
• 7:21
  could
• 7:22
  also
• 7:22
  be
• 7:22
  a
• 7:22
  boundary
• 7:22
  violation.
• 7:23
  Or
• 7:23
  a
• 7:23
  friend
• 7:24
  who
• 7:24
  calls
• 7:24
  over
• 7:25
  and
• 7:25
  over
• 7:25
  and
• 7:25
  over
• 7:25
  and
• 7:25
  over
• 7:26
  on
• 7:26
  the
• 7:26
  same
• 7:26
  day.
• 7:27
  And
• 7:27
  doesn't
• 7:27
  seem
• 7:27
  to
• 7:27
  understand
• 7:28
  that
• 7:28
  you
• 7:28
  have
• 7:28
  other
• 7:28
  things
• 7:29
  to
• 7:29
  do
• 7:29
  so
• 7:30
  these
• 7:30
  smaller,
• 7:30
  simpler,
• 7:31
  maybe
• 7:31
  a
• 7:31
  little
• 7:31
  bit
• 7:31
  more
• 7:32
  innocuous,
• 7:32
  examples
• 7:33
  can
• 7:34
  still
• 7:34
  elicit
• 7:34
  that
• 7:35
  that
• 7:35
  same
• 7:35
  sort
• 7:35
  of
• 7:35
  response
• 7:36
  of
• 7:36
  feeling
• 7:36
  violated,
• 7:37
  but
• 7:37
  maybe
• 7:38
  in
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  lesser
• 7:38
  sense.
• 7:39
  So
• 7:39
  pay
• 7:39
  really
• 7:40
  close
• 7:40
  attention
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  the
• 7:41
  emotions
• 7:41
  that
• 7:41
  come
• 7:41
  up
• 7:42
  for
• 7:42
  you
• 7:42
  when
• 7:42
  you're
• 7:43
  around
• 7:43
  certain
• 7:43
  people
• 7:44
  and
• 7:44
  certain
• 7:44
  behaviors.
• 7:45
  And
• 7:45
  then
• 7:45
  you'll
• 7:45
  be
• 7:45
  able
• 7:46
  to
• 7:46
  acknowledge
• 7:47
  when
• 7:47
  someone
• 7:47
  is
• 7:47
  violating
• 7:48
  a
• 7:48
  boundary
• 7:48
  that
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  have,
• 7:49
  but
• 7:49
  maybe
• 7:49
  haven't
• 7:50
  acknowledged
• 7:50
  before.
• 7:51
  So
• 7:51
  that
• 7:52
  has
• 7:52
  been
• 7:52
  what
• 7:52
  has
• 7:52
  happened
• 7:52
  to
• 7:53
  me
• 7:53
  historically.
• 7:53
  It
• 7:53
  didn't
• 7:54
  really
• 7:54
  understand
• 7:54
  boundaries.
• 7:55
  I
• 7:55
  didn't
• 7:55
  really
• 7:55
  have
• 7:56
  stated
• 7:56
  boundaries
• 7:56
  in
• 7:57
  my
• 7:57
  mind
• 7:57
  and
• 7:57
  to
• 7:58
  tell
• 7:58
  people,
• 7:58
  cross
• 7:58
  them.
• 7:58
  And
• 7:58
  I
• 7:58
  went,
• 7:59
  oh,
• 8:00
  okay.
• 8:00
  That
• 8:00
  didn't
• 8:01
  feel
• 8:01
  great.
• 8:01
  Something's
• 8:02
  happening
• 8:02
  here?
• 8:02
  What
• 8:03
  is
• 8:03
  happening?
• 8:03
  And
• 8:03
  as
• 8:03
  I
• 8:03
  learned
• 8:04
  this
• 8:04
  work,
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  understood,
• 8:05
  oh,
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  person
• 8:06
  crossed
• 8:06
  the
• 8:07
  boundary
• 8:07
  that
• 8:07
  I
• 8:07
  never
• 8:08
  communicated
• 8:08
  to
• 8:08
  them.
• 8:09
  I
• 8:09
  need
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  make
• 8:09
  sure
• 8:09
  they
• 8:10
  know
• 8:10
  this
• 8:10
  is
• 8:10
  something
• 8:11
  that's
• 8:11
  important
• 8:11
  to
• 8:11
  me.
• 8:12
  And
• 8:12
  then
• 8:12
  to
• 8:13
  enforce
• 8:13
  it,
• 8:13
  which
• 8:13
  we'll
• 8:13
  talk
• 8:14
  about
• 8:14
  in
• 8:14
  just
• 8:14
  a
• 8:14
  minute.
• 8:15
  Now,
• 8:15
  what
• 8:15
  does
• 8:15
  this
• 8:15
  emotional
• 8:16
  response
• 8:17
  look
• 8:17
  and
• 8:17
  feel
• 8:17
  like
• 8:18
  when
• 8:18
  a
• 8:18
  boundary
• 8:18
  is
• 8:18
  crossed?
• 8:19
  Well,
• 8:19
  for
• 8:19
  me,
• 8:20
  like
• 8:20
  I
• 8:20
  said,
• 8:20
  it
• 8:20
  feels
• 8:20
  a
• 8:21
  little
• 8:21
  bit
• 8:21
  violating
• 8:22
  depending
• 8:22
  on
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  severity
• 8:23
  of
• 8:23
  the
• 8:23
  boundary
• 8:23
  crossing,
• 8:24
  my
• 8:24
  nervous
• 8:25
  system
• 8:25
  reacts.
• 8:25
  So
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  go
• 8:26
  into
• 8:26
  a
• 8:26
  little
• 8:26
  bit
• 8:26
  of
• 8:26
  fight
• 8:27
  or
• 8:27
  flight.
• 8:28
  My
• 8:28
  heart
• 8:28
  spikes
• 8:28
  a
• 8:28
  little
• 8:29
  bit.
• 8:29
  Maybe
• 8:29
  I
• 8:29
  get
• 8:29
  a
• 8:29
  little
• 8:30
  bit
• 8:30
  sweaty.
• 8:31
  feels
• 8:31
  like
• 8:31
  I'm
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  little
• 8:32
  bit
• 8:32
  under
• 8:32
  attack,
• 8:32
  maybe.
• 8:33
  But,
• 8:34
  like
• 8:34
  I
• 8:34
  said,
• 8:34
  those
• 8:34
  little
• 8:34
  lesser
• 8:36
  boundary
• 8:36
  crossings,
• 8:36
  don't
• 8:37
  always
• 8:37
  elicit
• 8:37
  that
• 8:37
  kind
• 8:38
  of
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  response.
• 8:39
  Maybe
• 8:39
  more
• 8:39
  of
• 8:39
  an
• 8:39
  extreme
• 8:40
  boundary
• 8:40
  crossing
• 8:40
  would
• 8:40
  make
• 8:41
  me
• 8:41
  feel
• 8:41
  really
• 8:41
  fight
• 8:41
  or
• 8:41
  flight,
• 8:42
  or
• 8:42
  if
• 8:42
  it's
• 8:42
  something
• 8:42
  that
• 8:42
  was
• 8:42
  repeated
• 8:43
  over
• 8:43
  and
• 8:43
  over
• 8:44
  and
• 8:44
  over.
• 8:45
  Other
• 8:45
  emotions
• 8:45
  you
• 8:45
  can
• 8:46
  experience
• 8:46
  when
• 8:46
  this
• 8:46
  comes
• 8:46
  up
• 8:47
  unexpectedly
• 8:47
  are
• 8:48
  things
• 8:48
  like
• 8:49
  anger.
• 8:49
  Or
• 8:50
  resentment
• 8:50
  towards
• 8:50
  the
• 8:50
  person
• 8:51
  who's
• 8:51
  crossed
• 8:51
  the
• 8:51
  boundary.
• 8:52
  Maybe
• 8:52
  just
• 8:53
  annoyance
• 8:53
  and
• 8:54
  you
• 8:54
  weren't
• 8:54
  quite
• 8:54
  sir
• 8:54
  closing
• 8:55
  down
• 8:55
  in
• 8:56
  that
• 8:56
  person's
• 8:56
  presence.
• 8:57
  So
• 8:57
  let's
• 8:57
  say
• 8:58
  you
• 8:58
  have
• 8:58
  a
• 8:58
  friend
• 8:58
  who
• 8:58
  constantly
• 8:59
  gossips
• 8:59
  every
• 8:59
  time
• 8:59
  you
• 8:59
  get
• 9:00
  together
• 9:00
  and
• 9:00
  you
• 9:00
  hate
• 9:00
  it
• 9:01
  and
• 9:01
  you've
• 9:01
  asked
• 9:01
  her
• 9:01
  not
• 9:02
  to,
• 9:02
  and
• 9:02
  she
• 9:02
  still
• 9:02
  keeps
• 9:03
  doing
• 9:03
  it,
• 9:03
  then
• 9:04
  you're
• 9:04
  going
• 9:04
  to
• 9:04
  probably
• 9:04
  start
• 9:04
  closing
• 9:05
  off
• 9:05
  that
• 9:05
  relationship.
• 9:06
  Maybe
• 9:06
  not
• 9:06
  accepting
• 9:07
  phone
• 9:07
  calls
• 9:07
  or
• 9:07
  lunch
• 9:08
  dates.
• 9:09
  You
• 9:09
  asked
• 9:09
  her
• 9:09
  to
• 9:10
  not
• 9:10
  gossip
• 9:10
  because
• 9:10
  that
• 9:11
  made
• 9:11
  you
• 9:11
  uncomfortable.
• 9:11
  She
• 9:12
  kept
• 9:12
  doing
• 9:12
  it.
• 9:12
  You're
• 9:13
  probably
• 9:13
  gonna
• 9:13
  start
• 9:13
  pulling
• 9:13
  away
• 9:13
  a
• 9:13
  little
• 9:14
  bit.
• 9:14
  So
• 9:14
  here
• 9:15
  is
• 9:15
  the
• 9:16
  crux
• 9:16
  of
• 9:17
  boundaries.
• 9:17
  It
• 9:18
  is
• 9:18
  so
• 9:18
  easy
• 9:19
  to
• 9:19
  blame
• 9:19
  another
• 9:20
  person
• 9:20
  for
• 9:20
  violating
• 9:20
  your
• 9:21
  boundary,
• 9:21
  but
• 9:21
  it
• 9:22
  is
• 9:22
  not
• 9:22
  their
• 9:23
  fault,
• 9:24
  especially
• 9:24
  not
• 9:24
  at
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  beginning.
• 9:25
  Why.
• 9:26
  Because
• 9:26
  likely
• 9:27
  you
• 9:27
  haven't
• 9:27
  yet
• 9:28
  told
• 9:28
  them
• 9:28
  that
• 9:29
  is
• 9:29
  the
• 9:29
  boundary
• 9:29
  for
• 9:29
  you.
• 9:30
  You
• 9:30
  have
• 9:30
  likely
• 9:31
  not
• 9:31
  even
• 9:31
  told
• 9:32
  them
• 9:32
  that
• 9:32
  that
• 9:33
  is
• 9:33
  a
• 9:33
  boundary
• 9:33
  violation
• 9:34
  and
• 9:34
  it
• 9:34
  makes
• 9:34
  you
• 9:34
  uncomfortable.
• 9:36
  You
• 9:36
  might
• 9:36
  feel
• 9:36
  anger,
• 9:37
  resentment,
• 9:38
  annoyance,
• 9:38
  like
• 9:38
  we
• 9:38
  said,
• 9:38
  frustration
• 9:39
  with
• 9:39
  this
• 9:39
  other
• 9:39
  person,
• 9:40
  but
• 9:40
  if
• 9:40
  you
• 9:41
  have
• 9:41
  not
• 9:41
  expressly
• 9:41
  stated
• 9:42
  that
• 9:42
  it's
• 9:42
  a
• 9:42
  boundary,
• 9:42
  it's
• 9:42
  not
• 9:43
  their
• 9:43
  fault.
• 9:43
  It's
• 9:44
  yours.
• 9:45
  Which
• 9:45
  is
• 9:45
  a
• 9:45
  little
• 9:46
  bit
• 9:46
  of
• 9:46
  tough
• 9:46
  love,
• 9:46
  but
• 9:47
  I've
• 9:47
  had
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  learn
• 9:47
  this
• 9:47
  over
• 9:48
  and
• 9:48
  over
• 9:48
  and
• 9:48
  over
• 9:48
  that
• 9:49
  hurts
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  hear
• 9:49
  it.
• 9:50
  But
• 9:50
  expressing
• 9:51
  what
• 9:51
  a
• 9:51
  boundary
• 9:52
  is
• 9:52
  and
• 9:52
  isn't
• 9:52
  your
• 9:52
  loved
• 9:53
  ones
• 9:53
  is
• 9:53
  a
• 9:53
  hard
• 9:54
  thing
• 9:54
  to
• 9:54
  do
• 9:54
  sometimes.
• 9:56
  I'm
• 9:56
  sorry
• 9:56
  to
• 9:56
  always
• 9:56
  call
• 9:57
  out
• 9:57
  us.
• 9:57
  Wonderful
• 9:58
  Christian
• 9:58
  women.
• 9:59
  But
• 9:59
  sometimes
• 9:59
  we
• 10:00
  struggle
• 10:00
  with
• 10:00
  this
• 10:00
  because
• 10:01
  we
• 10:01
  don't
• 10:01
  like
• 10:01
  to
• 10:02
  hurt
• 10:02
  people's
• 10:02
  feelings.
• 10:03
  So
• 10:04
  many
• 10:04
  of
• 10:04
  us
• 10:04
  are
• 10:04
  people
• 10:04
  pleaser.
• 10:05
  We
• 10:05
  just
• 10:05
  want
• 10:05
  everyone
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  be
• 10:06
  happy.
• 10:07
  We
• 10:07
  don't
• 10:07
  want
• 10:07
  anyone
• 10:07
  to
• 10:07
  think.
• 10:08
  We
• 10:08
  don't
• 10:08
  like
• 10:08
  them,
• 10:08
  or
• 10:09
  we
• 10:09
  don't
• 10:09
  like
• 10:09
  what
• 10:09
  they're
• 10:09
  doing
• 10:10
  or
• 10:10
  that
• 10:10
  we
• 10:10
  just
• 10:11
  want
• 10:11
  them
• 10:11
  to
• 10:11
  go
• 10:11
  away.
• 10:12
  We
• 10:13
  just
• 10:13
  want
• 10:13
  everyone
• 10:13
  to
• 10:13
  be
• 10:13
  happy
• 10:14
  and
• 10:14
  smiling
• 10:15
  and
• 10:15
  sing
• 10:15
  kumbaya.
• 10:15
  Every
• 10:16
  time
• 10:16
  they
• 10:16
  come
• 10:16
  around.
• 10:17
  But
• 10:17
  the
• 10:18
  boundary
• 10:19
  is
• 10:19
  not
• 10:19
  for
• 10:20
  you.
• 10:21
  Okay.
• 10:22
  When
• 10:22
  we
• 10:22
  enforce
• 10:22
  a
• 10:22
  boundary,
• 10:23
  it's
• 10:23
  not
• 10:24
  because
• 10:24
  it's
• 10:24
  going
• 10:24
  to
• 10:24
  make
• 10:24
  us
• 10:25
  feel
• 10:25
  better.
• 10:25
  Likely
• 10:26
  it's
• 10:26
  going
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  make
• 10:26
  us
• 10:26
  feel
• 10:26
  worse
• 10:27
  for
• 10:27
  a
• 10:27
  short
• 10:27
  period
• 10:28
  of
• 10:28
  time.
• 10:29
  Although
• 10:29
  eventually,
• 10:29
  hopefully
• 10:30
  it'll
• 10:30
  make
• 10:30
  you
• 10:30
  feel
• 10:30
  better.
• 10:31
  A
• 10:32
  boundary
• 10:32
  is
• 10:33
  for
• 10:33
  the
• 10:34
  relationship.
• 10:35
  How
• 10:35
  do
• 10:35
  we
• 10:35
  know?
• 10:36
  Because
• 10:36
  when
• 10:37
  we
• 10:37
  allow
• 10:37
  boundaries
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  be
• 10:37
  crossed
• 10:38
  relationships,
• 10:39
  suffer
• 10:39
  every
• 10:40
  time.
• 10:41
  Every
• 10:42
  time,
• 10:42
  there's
• 10:42
  a
• 10:42
  boundary
• 10:42
  that
• 10:42
  someone
• 10:43
  does
• 10:43
  not
• 10:43
  enforce
• 10:44
  and
• 10:44
  it
• 10:44
  gets
• 10:44
  regularly
• 10:44
  violated
• 10:45
  that
• 10:45
  relationship
• 10:46
  suffers.
• 10:46
  I
• 10:46
  promise
• 10:47
  you,
• 10:47
  it
• 10:47
  happens
• 10:47
  every
• 10:48
  time.
• 10:48
  So
• 10:48
  if
• 10:48
  you
• 10:49
  are
• 10:49
  struggling
• 10:50
  to
• 10:50
  enforce
• 10:50
  a
• 10:50
  boundary
• 10:51
  and
• 10:51
  tell
• 10:51
  someone.
• 10:52
  I
• 10:52
  love
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  so
• 10:52
  much,
• 10:53
  but
• 10:53
  I
• 10:53
  just
• 10:53
  can't
• 10:53
  respond
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  your
• 10:54
  texts
• 10:54
  all
• 10:54
  day,
• 10:54
  or
• 10:55
  I'd
• 10:55
  prefer
• 10:55
  if
• 10:55
  you
• 10:55
  only
• 10:56
  called
• 10:56
  me
• 10:56
  on
• 10:56
  Fridays.
• 10:57
  Can
• 10:57
  we
• 10:57
  limit
• 10:58
  it
• 10:58
  to
• 10:58
  once
• 10:59
  a
• 10:59
  week,
• 10:59
  whatever
• 11:00
  it
• 11:00
  might
• 11:00
  feel
• 11:00
  uncomfortable
• 11:01
  to
• 11:01
  do
• 11:01
  that,
• 11:02
  but
• 11:02
  the
• 11:02
  relationship
• 11:03
  will
• 11:03
  thrive
• 11:03
  because
• 11:04
  then
• 11:04
  you
• 11:05
  will
• 11:05
  no
• 11:05
  longer
• 11:05
  show
• 11:06
  up
• 11:06
  with
• 11:06
  resentment
• 11:06
  and
• 11:06
  anger
• 11:07
  towards
• 11:07
  the
• 11:07
  person.
• 11:08
  Now
• 11:08
  let's,
• 11:08
  let's
• 11:08
  go
• 11:09
  back
• 11:09
  to
• 11:09
  our
• 11:09
  dating
• 11:09
  days
• 11:10
  for
• 11:10
  just
• 11:10
  a
• 11:10
  minute
• 11:10
  to,
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  share
• 11:11
  an
• 11:11
  example.
• 11:12
  If
• 11:12
  you're
• 11:12
  a
• 11:12
  people
• 11:12
  pleaser,
• 11:13
  like
• 11:13
  I
• 11:13
  am,
• 11:13
  you
• 11:13
  probably
• 11:14
  experienced
• 11:14
  this
• 11:14
  a
• 11:14
  lot
• 11:15
  when
• 11:15
  dating.
• 11:16
  You
• 11:16
  went
• 11:16
  out
• 11:16
  with
• 11:16
  a
• 11:16
  guy
• 11:17
  who
• 11:17
  was
• 11:17
  cute.
• 11:18
  Mildly
• 11:18
  interested
• 11:18
  in
• 11:19
  really
• 11:19
  nice.
• 11:21
  And
• 11:21
  then
• 11:21
  at
• 11:21
  the
• 11:21
  end
• 11:21
  of
• 11:21
  the
• 11:21
  day,
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  realize
• 11:22
  I'm
• 11:22
  not
• 11:22
  really
• 11:22
  interested,
• 11:23
  but
• 11:23
  he
• 11:23
  is,
• 11:24
  and
• 11:24
  he
• 11:24
  wants
• 11:24
  to
• 11:24
  see
• 11:24
  you
• 11:24
  again.
• 11:26
  What
• 11:26
  do
• 11:26
  you
• 11:26
  do?
• 11:27
  Well,
• 11:27
  many
• 11:27
  of
• 11:28
  us.
• 11:28
  To
• 11:29
  our
• 11:29
  utter
• 11:29
  shame.
• 11:30
  Would
• 11:30
  you
• 11:30
  say
• 11:31
  yes
• 11:31
  to
• 11:31
  another
• 11:31
  date?
• 11:32
  Or
• 11:32
  even
• 11:33
  worse,
• 11:33
  we
• 11:33
  would
• 11:33
  just
• 11:34
  Dodge
• 11:34
  phone
• 11:34
  calls
• 11:35
  over
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  over
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  over.
• 11:36
  Why
• 11:36
  do
• 11:37
  we
• 11:37
  do
• 11:37
  that?
• 11:37
  Why
• 11:38
  would
• 11:38
  we
• 11:38
  not
• 11:38
  just
• 11:38
  say,
• 11:39
  Hey,
• 11:39
  I
• 11:40
  had
• 11:40
  so
• 11:40
  much
• 11:40
  fun,
• 11:41
  not
• 11:41
  really
• 11:41
  interested
• 11:41
  in
• 11:42
  another
• 11:42
  date.
• 11:42
  See
• 11:43
  around.
• 11:44
  Because
• 11:44
  that
• 11:45
  would
• 11:45
  make
• 11:45
  us
• 11:46
  uncomfortable
• 11:46
  and
• 11:47
  make
• 11:47
  us
• 11:47
  feel
• 11:47
  like
• 11:48
  the
• 11:48
  bad
• 11:48
  guy.
• 11:49
  That's
• 11:49
  all
• 11:50
  we
• 11:50
  would
• 11:50
  have
• 11:50
  to
• 11:50
  say.
• 11:50
  And
• 11:51
  now
• 11:51
  that
• 11:51
  I'm
• 11:51
  sitting
• 11:51
  here
• 11:51
  as
• 11:51
  a
• 11:52
  43
• 11:52
  year
• 11:52
  old
• 11:52
  mom
• 11:53
  of
• 11:53
  a
• 11:53
  bunch
• 11:53
  of
• 11:53
  kids,
• 11:53
  it
• 11:54
  blows
• 11:54
  my
• 11:54
  mind
• 11:54
  that
• 11:55
  I
• 11:55
  didn't
• 11:55
  have
• 11:55
  the
• 11:55
  courage
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  have
• 11:56
  a
• 11:56
  15
• 11:56
  second
• 11:56
  conversation
• 11:57
  with
• 11:57
  guys
• 11:57
  sometimes.
• 11:58
  To
• 11:58
  spare
• 11:59
  their
• 11:59
  feelings
• 11:59
  later
• 11:59
  on.
• 12:00
  seems
• 12:01
  so
• 12:01
  mean
• 12:01
  to
• 12:01
  me
• 12:01
  now,
• 12:02
  but
• 12:02
  in
• 12:02
  the
• 12:02
  time
• 12:02
  I
• 12:02
  was
• 12:02
  just
• 12:03
  like,
• 12:03
  oh,
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  can't,
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  can't
• 12:03
  say
• 12:03
  that
• 12:03
  that
• 12:04
  would
• 12:04
  hurt
• 12:04
  his
• 12:04
  feelings.
• 12:04
  No,
• 12:05
  you
• 12:05
  know,
• 12:05
  it's
• 12:05
  going
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  hurt
• 12:05
  his
• 12:05
  feelings
• 12:06
  is
• 12:06
  you
• 12:06
  constantly
• 12:07
  pushing
• 12:07
  them
• 12:07
  off,
• 12:07
  over
• 12:07
  and
• 12:07
  over
• 12:08
  and
• 12:08
  over
• 12:08
  thinking.
• 12:09
  He's
• 12:09
  not
• 12:09
  going
• 12:09
  to
• 12:09
  notice.
• 12:10
  He's
• 12:10
  going
• 12:10
  to
• 12:10
  notice.
• 12:11
  Now
• 12:11
  he
• 12:12
  avoids
• 12:12
  you
• 12:12
  forever
• 12:12
  because
• 12:12
  you're
• 12:13
  a
• 12:13
  jerk.
• 12:13
  Because
• 12:13
  you
• 12:14
  couldn't
• 12:14
  just
• 12:14
  come
• 12:14
  out
• 12:14
  right
• 12:15
  away
• 12:15
  and
• 12:15
  say,
• 12:16
  I
• 12:16
  don't
• 12:16
  want
• 12:16
  to
• 12:16
  continue
• 12:16
  a
• 12:16
  dating
• 12:17
  relationship.
• 12:18
  Now
• 12:18
  allowing
• 12:19
  someone
• 12:19
  to
• 12:19
  continue
• 12:20
  crossing
• 12:20
  your
• 12:20
  boundaries
• 12:21
  is
• 12:21
  cruel
• 12:21
  and
• 12:21
  unnecessary
• 12:22
  to
• 12:22
  both
• 12:22
  you
• 12:23
  and
• 12:23
  the
• 12:23
  other
• 12:23
  person,
• 12:24
  because
• 12:24
  you
• 12:24
  will
• 12:24
  not
• 12:25
  be
• 12:25
  able
• 12:25
  to
• 12:25
  control
• 12:25
  your
• 12:25
  emotions
• 12:26
  if
• 12:26
  they
• 12:26
  keep
• 12:27
  crossing
• 12:27
  it.
• 12:28
  Like
• 12:28
  I
• 12:28
  said
• 12:28
  it
• 12:28
  damages
• 12:29
  the
• 12:29
  relationship
• 12:29
  every
• 12:30
  time.
• 12:30
  And
• 12:31
  one
• 12:31
  simple
• 12:31
  conversation
• 12:32
  can
• 12:32
  change
• 12:32
  everything.
• 12:33
  It
• 12:33
  can
• 12:33
  ensure
• 12:34
  that
• 12:34
  people
• 12:34
  don't
• 12:34
  waste
• 12:34
  time
• 12:35
  with
• 12:35
  you,
• 12:35
  like
• 12:35
  in
• 12:35
  the
• 12:36
  dating
• 12:36
  example,
• 12:37
  or
• 12:37
  it
• 12:37
  can
• 12:37
  help
• 12:37
  you
• 12:37
  to
• 12:37
  cultivate
• 12:38
  a
• 12:38
  relationship.
• 12:39
  That
• 12:39
  is
• 12:39
  so
• 12:40
  much
• 12:40
  deeper
• 12:41
  because
• 12:41
  you're
• 12:41
  not
• 12:42
  allowing
• 12:42
  that
• 12:42
  person
• 12:42
  to
• 12:43
  cross
• 12:43
  that
• 12:43
  boundary.
• 12:44
  Let's
• 12:44
  talk
• 12:44
  about
• 12:44
  the
• 12:44
  selfish
• 12:44
  aspect
• 12:45
  now
• 12:45
  for
• 12:45
  a
• 12:45
  minute
• 12:45
  of
• 12:46
  requiring
• 12:47
  our
• 12:47
  boundaries
• 12:47
  to
• 12:47
  be
• 12:48
  honored.
• 12:48
  Ensuring
• 12:49
  that
• 12:49
  our
• 12:49
  own
• 12:50
  needs
• 12:50
  are
• 12:50
  being
• 12:50
  met
• 12:51
  is
• 12:51
  the
• 12:51
  best
• 12:52
  way
• 12:52
  of
• 12:52
  having
• 12:52
  healthy
• 12:53
  whole
• 12:53
  relationships.
• 12:54
  Too
• 12:55
  many
• 12:55
  of
• 12:55
  us
• 12:55
  enter
• 12:56
  into
• 12:56
  relationships
• 12:56
  and
• 12:56
  just
• 12:56
  thinking
• 12:57
  I'll
• 12:57
  just
• 12:58
  sit
• 12:58
  here
• 12:58
  and
• 12:58
  be
• 12:58
  a
• 12:58
  doormat
• 12:59
  so
• 12:59
  that
• 12:59
  everybody
• 13:00
  is
• 13:00
  happy.
• 13:01
  No.
• 13:02
  Sure
• 13:02
  fire
• 13:02
  way
• 13:03
  to
• 13:03
  anger
• 13:03
  and
• 13:03
  resentment.
• 13:04
  So,
• 13:05
  let
• 13:05
  me
• 13:05
  just
• 13:05
  repeat
• 13:05
  that
• 13:05
  really
• 13:05
  quickly,
• 13:06
  ensuring
• 13:07
  our
• 13:07
  own
• 13:07
  needs
• 13:08
  aren't
• 13:08
  being
• 13:08
  met.
• 13:09
  Is
• 13:09
  the
• 13:09
  best
• 13:10
  way
• 13:10
  to
• 13:10
  make
• 13:10
  sure
• 13:11
  we
• 13:11
  have
• 13:11
  healthy.
• 13:11
  A
• 13:12
  whole
• 13:12
  relationships.
• 13:14
  I
• 13:14
  know
• 13:14
  this
• 13:14
  because
• 13:14
  I'm
• 13:15
  a
• 13:15
  mother
• 13:15
  to
• 13:15
  a
• 13:15
  bazillion
• 13:16
  children.
• 13:17
  If
• 13:17
  my
• 13:17
  needs
• 13:17
  are
• 13:18
  not
• 13:18
  being
• 13:18
  met,
• 13:18
  I
• 13:18
  am
• 13:19
  a
• 13:19
  crappy
• 13:19
  mother.
• 13:20
  I
• 13:20
  have
• 13:20
  a
• 13:20
  terrible
• 13:21
  relationship
• 13:21
  with
• 13:21
  all
• 13:22
  my
• 13:22
  kids
• 13:22
  because
• 13:22
  I
• 13:23
  am
• 13:23
  damaged
• 13:24
  in
• 13:24
  some
• 13:25
  way.
• 13:25
  I
• 13:25
  have
• 13:25
  to
• 13:25
  make
• 13:25
  sure
• 13:25
  that
• 13:26
  my
• 13:26
  needs
• 13:26
  are
• 13:26
  being
• 13:26
  met
• 13:26
  first.
• 13:27
  I'm
• 13:27
  just
• 13:27
  yelling
• 13:28
  and
• 13:28
  freaking
• 13:28
  out
• 13:28
  all
• 13:28
  the
• 13:28
  time
• 13:28
  because
• 13:29
  emotionally,
• 13:29
  spiritually,
• 13:30
  physically,
• 13:30
  I'm
• 13:31
  a
• 13:31
  mess.
• 13:31
  So
• 13:32
  we
• 13:32
  do
• 13:32
  not
• 13:32
  have
• 13:32
  to
• 13:33
  Harbor
• 13:33
  resentment
• 13:33
  against
• 13:34
  other
• 13:34
  people
• 13:34
  because
• 13:35
  we
• 13:35
  get
• 13:35
  to
• 13:35
  communicate
• 13:36
  which
• 13:36
  behaviors
• 13:37
  are
• 13:37
  okay.
• 13:37
  And
• 13:38
  which
• 13:38
  are
• 13:38
  not.
• 13:39
  So
• 13:39
  instead
• 13:39
  of
• 13:40
  sitting
• 13:40
  here
• 13:40
  and
• 13:40
  stewing
• 13:41
  about
• 13:41
  how
• 13:41
  Susie
• 13:41
  just
• 13:42
  keeps
• 13:42
  calling
• 13:42
  me
• 13:42
  over
• 13:43
  and
• 13:43
  over
• 13:43
  and
• 13:43
  over
• 13:43
  and
• 13:43
  doesn't
• 13:44
  get
• 13:44
  the
• 13:44
  hint.
• 13:45
  You
• 13:45
  get
• 13:45
  to
• 13:45
  just
• 13:45
  say,
• 13:46
  Susie,
• 13:46
  I
• 13:46
  love
• 13:47
  you.
• 13:48
  But
• 13:48
  life
• 13:48
  is
• 13:48
  crazy.
• 13:48
  Can
• 13:49
  we
• 13:49
  hang
• 13:49
  out
• 13:49
  like
• 13:49
  once
• 13:50
  a
• 13:50
  quarter,
• 13:50
  once
• 13:50
  every
• 13:50
  three
• 13:51
  months,
• 13:51
  I
• 13:51
  would
• 13:51
  love
• 13:51
  to
• 13:51
  take
• 13:52
  you
• 13:52
  to
• 13:52
  lunch
• 13:52
  and
• 13:52
  we
• 13:53
  can
• 13:53
  just
• 13:53
  talk
• 13:53
  for
• 13:53
  hours.
• 13:54
  Isn't
• 13:54
  that
• 13:54
  so
• 13:55
  much
• 13:55
  better
• 13:55
  than
• 13:56
  you
• 13:56
  just
• 13:56
  sending
• 13:56
  Susie
• 13:56
  to
• 13:57
  voicemail
• 13:57
  every
• 13:57
  single
• 13:57
  day
• 13:58
  until
• 13:58
  she
• 13:58
  finally
• 13:58
  thinks
• 13:58
  you
• 13:59
  hate
• 13:59
  her.
• 13:59
  Of
• 14:00
  course
• 14:00
  it
• 14:00
  is.
• 14:01
  Make
• 14:01
  sure
• 14:02
  your
• 14:02
  own
• 14:02
  needs
• 14:02
  are
• 14:02
  being
• 14:02
  met
• 14:03
  first
• 14:03
  and
• 14:03
  then
• 14:03
  kindly
• 14:04
  and
• 14:04
  compassionately.
• 14:05
  I
• 14:05
  communicate
• 14:06
  that
• 14:06
  to
• 14:06
  the
• 14:06
  other
• 14:06
  person.
• 14:07
  Now
• 14:08
  we
• 14:08
  get
• 14:08
  to
• 14:08
  talk
• 14:08
  about
• 14:09
  my
• 14:09
  favorite
• 14:10
  aspect
• 14:10
  of
• 14:10
  boundaries
• 14:11
  and
• 14:11
  that
• 14:11
  is
• 14:11
  the
• 14:11
  part
• 14:12
  that
• 14:12
  all
• 14:12
  the
• 14:12
  Christians
• 14:12
  bring
• 14:12
  up.
• 14:13
  Did
• 14:14
  Jesus
• 14:15
  have
• 14:15
  boundaries?
• 14:17
  And
• 14:17
  the
• 14:17
  answer
• 14:17
  is
• 14:18
  absolutely.
• 14:19
  He
• 14:19
  did.
• 14:20
  If
• 14:20
  we're
• 14:20
  going
• 14:20
  to
• 14:20
  look
• 14:20
  to
• 14:21
  Christ
• 14:21
  as
• 14:21
  the
• 14:21
  ultimate
• 14:21
  example
• 14:22
  of
• 14:22
  behavior,
• 14:23
  we
• 14:23
  want
• 14:23
  to
• 14:23
  see
• 14:23
  where
• 14:23
  he
• 14:24
  enforced
• 14:24
  boundaries
• 14:24
  as
• 14:25
  well.
• 14:25
  So,
• 14:25
  this
• 14:25
  is
• 14:26
  a
• 14:26
  really
• 14:26
  fun
• 14:26
  activity.
• 14:26
  The
• 14:27
  next
• 14:27
  time
• 14:27
  you
• 14:27
  read
• 14:27
  the
• 14:27
  new
• 14:27
  Testament,
• 14:28
  go
• 14:28
  and
• 14:28
  look
• 14:29
  for
• 14:29
  Jesus
• 14:29
  and
• 14:29
  his
• 14:30
  boundaries.
• 14:31
  There
• 14:31
  are
• 14:32
  quite
• 14:32
  a
• 14:32
  few
• 14:32
  examples.
• 14:32
  I'll
• 14:32
  share
• 14:33
  here
• 14:33
  with
• 14:33
  you.
• 14:33
  First
• 14:34
  one.
• 14:34
  He
• 14:35
  loved
• 14:35
  everyone.
• 14:36
  And
• 14:37
  he
• 14:37
  forgave
• 14:37
  the
• 14:37
  sinners.
• 14:39
  And
• 14:39
  then
• 14:39
  he
• 14:40
  told
• 14:40
  them
• 14:40
  to
• 14:40
  go
• 14:40
  and
• 14:40
  sin
• 14:41
  no
• 14:41
  more.
• 14:42
  That
• 14:42
  was
• 14:42
  his
• 14:42
  boundary.
• 14:43
  I
• 14:43
  will
• 14:43
  forgive
• 14:44
  you.
• 14:44
  Now
• 14:44
  I'm
• 14:45
  commanding
• 14:45
  you
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  not
• 14:45
  do
• 14:45
  this
• 14:45
  again.
• 14:47
  He
• 14:47
  calmly
• 14:48
  sat
• 14:48
  outside
• 14:48
  the
• 14:48
  temple
• 14:49
  and
• 14:49
  braided
• 14:49
  a
• 14:49
  whip.
• 14:50
  And
• 14:50
  then
• 14:50
  he
• 14:50
  drove
• 14:51
  the
• 14:51
  money
• 14:51
  changers
• 14:51
  out,
• 14:52
  not
• 14:52
  calmly,
• 14:53
  not
• 14:53
  peacefully.
• 14:54
  He
• 14:54
  drove
• 14:54
  them
• 14:54
  out
• 14:55
  of
• 14:55
  this
• 14:55
  temple
• 14:55
  because
• 14:55
  the
• 14:55
  boundary
• 14:56
  was,
• 14:56
  you
• 14:56
  do
• 14:56
  not
• 14:56
  change
• 14:57
  money
• 14:57
  in
• 14:57
  my
• 14:57
  father's
• 14:57
  house.
• 14:58
  He
• 14:59
  taught
• 14:59
  and
• 14:59
  blessed
• 15:00
  and
• 15:00
  loved
• 15:00
  the
• 15:00
  multitudes
• 15:01
  of
• 15:01
  people.
• 15:02
  And
• 15:02
  then
• 15:02
  he
• 15:02
  also
• 15:02
  regularly
• 15:03
  removed
• 15:04
  himself
• 15:04
  from
• 15:04
  them
• 15:04
  to
• 15:05
  rest
• 15:05
  and
• 15:05
  to
• 15:05
  pray
• 15:06
  to
• 15:06
  his
• 15:06
  father.
• 15:07
  He
• 15:07
  took
• 15:07
  care
• 15:08
  of
• 15:08
  the
• 15:08
  things
• 15:08
  that
• 15:08
  needed
• 15:09
  to
• 15:09
  be
• 15:09
  taken
• 15:09
  care
• 15:09
  of
• 15:09
  spiritually
• 15:10
  and
• 15:10
  physically,
• 15:11
  so
• 15:11
  he
• 15:11
  could
• 15:11
  show
• 15:12
  up.
• 15:12
  In
• 15:12
  his
• 15:12
  best
• 15:13
  form
• 15:13
  for
• 15:13
  the
• 15:13
  people.
• 15:14
  Isn't
• 15:14
  that
• 15:14
  amazing.
• 15:15
  I
• 15:15
  love
• 15:16
  showing
• 15:16
  Christian
• 15:17
  women
• 15:17
  that
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  coach
• 15:18
  that
• 15:18
  boundaries
• 15:18
  are
• 15:18
  absolutely
• 15:19
  a
• 15:20
  Christian
• 15:20
  eternal
• 15:21
  phenomenon
• 15:21
  and
• 15:21
  something
• 15:22
  that's
• 15:22
  so
• 15:22
  important
• 15:22
  for
• 15:22
  us
• 15:23
  to
• 15:23
  learn.
• 15:23
  Now,
• 15:23
  if
• 15:24
  you
• 15:24
  want
• 15:24
  to
• 15:24
  learn
• 15:24
  more
• 15:24
  about
• 15:25
  boundaries,
• 15:25
  especially
• 15:25
  from
• 15:26
  a
• 15:26
  Christian
• 15:26
  perspective,
• 15:27
  I
• 15:27
  highly
• 15:27
  recommend
• 15:27
  the
• 15:27
  book
• 15:28
  called
• 15:28
  boundaries.
• 15:29
  It's
• 15:29
  by
• 15:29
  two
• 15:29
  authors,
• 15:30
  their
• 15:30
  names
• 15:30
  are
• 15:30
  Henry
• 15:31
  cloud,
• 15:31
  John
• 15:31
  Townsend.
• 15:32
  And
• 15:32
  the
• 15:32
  full
• 15:33
  title
• 15:33
  is
• 15:33
  boundaries.
• 15:33
  When
• 15:34
  to
• 15:34
  say
• 15:34
  yes,
• 15:34
  how
• 15:34
  to
• 15:34
  say
• 15:35
  no
• 15:35
  and
• 15:35
  take
• 15:35
  control
• 15:36
  of
• 15:36
  your
• 15:36
  life.
• 15:36
  So
• 15:36
  go
• 15:37
  look
• 15:37
  that
• 15:37
  one
• 15:37
  up,
• 15:37
  add
• 15:37
  it
• 15:37
  to
• 15:37
  your,
• 15:38
  to
• 15:38
  relist.
• 15:39
  It
• 15:39
  is
• 15:39
  a
• 15:39
  great
• 15:39
  one.
• 15:40
  And
• 15:40
  I'm
• 15:40
  so
• 15:40
  glad
• 15:41
  that
• 15:41
  they
• 15:41
  created
• 15:41
  it
• 15:41
  from
• 15:42
  this
• 15:42
  Christian
• 15:42
  perspective,
• 15:42
  because
• 15:43
  I
• 15:43
  think
• 15:43
  Christ
• 15:43
  is
• 15:43
  just
• 15:44
  an
• 15:44
  absolutely
• 15:44
  excellent
• 15:45
  example
• 15:46
  of
• 15:46
  boundaries
• 15:47
  as
• 15:47
  a
• 15:47
  human
• 15:47
  need.
• 15:48
  Just
• 15:48
  like
• 15:48
  food,
• 15:49
  water,
• 15:49
  and
• 15:49
  rest.
• 15:50
  We
• 15:50
  are
• 15:50
  not
• 15:51
  expected
• 15:51
  to
• 15:51
  be
• 15:51
  a
• 15:52
  doormat
• 15:52
  that
• 15:52
  is
• 15:52
  not
• 15:53
  a
• 15:53
  Christian
• 15:53
  phenomenon.
• 15:54
  Okay.
• 15:55
  So
• 15:55
  remember
• 15:55
  boundaries
• 15:56
  are
• 15:56
  where
• 15:56
  we
• 15:56
  end
• 15:57
  and
• 15:57
  where
• 15:57
  someone
• 15:58
  else
• 15:58
  begins.
• 15:59
  Please
• 15:59
  don't
• 15:59
  allow
• 16:00
  your
• 16:00
  boundaries
• 16:00
  to
• 16:00
  be
• 16:00
  crossed.
• 16:01
  If
• 16:01
  they
• 16:01
  are,
• 16:02
  we
• 16:02
  have
• 16:02
  some
• 16:02
  work
• 16:02
  to
• 16:02
  do.
• 16:03
  We
• 16:03
  have
• 16:03
  to
• 16:03
  start
• 16:03
  enforcing
• 16:04
  them.
• 16:05
  We
• 16:05
  need
• 16:05
  to
• 16:05
  communicate
• 16:06
  our
• 16:06
  boundaries
• 16:06
  very
• 16:07
  lovingly,
• 16:07
  and
• 16:07
  then
• 16:08
  we
• 16:08
  need
• 16:08
  to
• 16:08
  continue
• 16:09
  to
• 16:09
  communicate
• 16:09
  them.
• 16:10
  because
• 16:10
  it
• 16:10
  takes
• 16:11
  people
• 16:11
  time
• 16:12
  to
• 16:12
  learn.
• 16:12
  I'm
• 16:12
  sure
• 16:12
  all
• 16:13
  of
• 16:13
  us
• 16:13
  have
• 16:13
  been
• 16:13
  guilty
• 16:13
  of
• 16:13
  doing
• 16:14
  this
• 16:14
  to
• 16:14
  someone
• 16:14
  else.
• 16:15
  And
• 16:15
  hopefully
• 16:15
  that
• 16:16
  person
• 16:16
  has
• 16:16
  taught
• 16:16
  us
• 16:17
  lovingly
• 16:17
  and
• 16:17
  slowly
• 16:18
  and
• 16:18
  consistently
• 16:19
  how
• 16:19
  to
• 16:19
  honor
• 16:19
  their
• 16:20
  boundaries.
• 16:21
  If
• 16:21
  someone
• 16:21
  doesn't
• 16:22
  understand
• 16:22
  this
• 16:23
  and
• 16:23
  continues
• 16:23
  to
• 16:23
  cross
• 16:24
  those
• 16:24
  boundaries.
• 16:24
  even
• 16:24
  if
• 16:24
  you
• 16:25
  communicated
• 16:25
  with
• 16:25
  them,
• 16:26
  The
• 16:26
  most
• 16:26
  logical
• 16:26
  consequence
• 16:27
  to
• 16:27
  enforce
• 16:27
  is
• 16:28
  less
• 16:28
  access
• 16:28
  to
• 16:29
  you.
• 16:29
  if
• 16:29
  someone
• 16:30
  keeps
• 16:30
  walking
• 16:30
  into
• 16:30
  your
• 16:31
  house
• 16:31
  without
• 16:31
  permission
• 16:31
  or
• 16:32
  showing
• 16:32
  up
• 16:33
  in
• 16:33
  a
• 16:33
  way
• 16:33
  that
• 16:33
  you've
• 16:33
  asked
• 16:33
  them
• 16:33
  not
• 16:34
  to,
• 16:34
  then
• 16:34
  chances
• 16:34
  are
• 16:34
  good.
• 16:35
  You're
• 16:35
  just
• 16:35
  going
• 16:35
  to
• 16:35
  pull
• 16:35
  back.
• 16:36
  That's
• 16:36
  probably
• 16:36
  going
• 16:36
  to
• 16:36
  be
• 16:36
  the
• 16:37
  best
• 16:37
  thing
• 16:37
  for
• 16:37
  the
• 16:37
  relationship.
• 16:38
  So
• 16:38
  you
• 16:38
  don't
• 16:38
  keep
• 16:38
  showing
• 16:39
  up
• 16:39
  out
• 16:39
  of
• 16:39
  anger
• 16:40
  and
• 16:40
  resentment.
• 16:40
  Towards
• 16:41
  this
• 16:41
  person
• 16:41
  all
• 16:41
  the
• 16:41
  time.
• 16:42
  That
• 16:42
  is
• 16:42
  how
• 16:43
  we
• 16:43
  can
• 16:43
  do
• 16:43
  this
• 16:43
  with
• 16:43
  love
• 16:44
  and
• 16:45
  kindness
• 16:45
  from
• 16:45
  this
• 16:45
  Christ-like
• 16:46
  place.
• 16:47
  And
• 16:47
  to
• 16:47
  better
• 16:48
  benefit
• 16:48
  the
• 16:48
  relationship.
• 16:49
  All
• 16:49
  right.
• 16:49
  So
• 16:49
  how
• 16:50
  do
• 16:50
  we
• 16:50
  enforce
• 16:50
  these
• 16:51
  boundaries?
• 16:51
  All
• 16:51
  right.
• 16:51
  Well,
• 16:52
  most
• 16:52
  of
• 16:52
  us
• 16:52
  want
• 16:52
  our
• 16:52
  home
• 16:53
  to
• 16:53
  be
• 16:53
  a
• 16:53
  very
• 16:53
  safe
• 16:53
  place.
• 16:54
  So
• 16:54
  let's
• 16:54
  continue
• 16:54
  with
• 16:54
  this
• 16:54
  example
• 16:55
  of
• 16:55
  someone
• 16:55
  just
• 16:55
  walking
• 16:56
  in
• 16:56
  your
• 16:56
  house.
• 16:56
  Let's
• 16:56
  take
• 16:56
  your
• 16:56
  brother
• 16:57
  loves
• 16:57
  to
• 16:57
  do
• 16:57
  this
• 16:58
  and
• 16:58
  you
• 16:58
  have
• 16:58
  to
• 16:58
  tell
• 16:58
  them,
• 16:58
  Hey,
• 16:59
  but
• 16:59
  I
• 16:59
  love
• 16:59
  you
• 16:59
  so
• 17:00
  much.
• 17:00
  It's
• 17:00
  so
• 17:01
  fun
• 17:01
  when
• 17:01
  you
• 17:01
  come
• 17:01
  over
• 17:01
  and
• 17:01
  hang
• 17:02
  out.
• 17:02
  But
• 17:02
  I
• 17:02
  just
• 17:02
  need
• 17:03
  you
• 17:03
  to
• 17:03
  know
• 17:03
  that
• 17:03
  anytime
• 17:03
  you're
• 17:04
  coming,
• 17:04
  just
• 17:04
  shoot
• 17:05
  me
• 17:05
  a
• 17:05
  quick
• 17:05
  text
• 17:06
  and
• 17:06
  please
• 17:06
  knock
• 17:06
  before
• 17:07
  you
• 17:07
  come
• 17:07
  in.
• 17:07
  That
• 17:07
  makes
• 17:08
  me
• 17:08
  feel
• 17:08
  a
• 17:08
  little
• 17:08
  bit
• 17:08
  more,
• 17:08
  more
• 17:09
  comfortable.
• 17:09
  He'll
• 17:09
  say.
• 17:09
  Yeah,
• 17:10
  totally.
• 17:10
  No
• 17:10
  big
• 17:10
  deal.
• 17:10
  I'll
• 17:10
  do
• 17:11
  it.
• 17:11
  Next
• 17:12
  time.
• 17:12
  He
• 17:12
  might
• 17:12
  not,
• 17:13
  he
• 17:13
  might
• 17:13
  forget
• 17:13
  to
• 17:14
  text.
• 17:14
  He
• 17:14
  might
• 17:14
  forget
• 17:14
  to
• 17:14
  call
• 17:15
  it's
• 17:15
  a
• 17:15
  habit.
• 17:15
  He
• 17:15
  maybe
• 17:15
  he
• 17:16
  just
• 17:16
  walks
• 17:16
  right
• 17:16
  in
• 17:16
  again.
• 17:17
  And
• 17:17
  then
• 17:18
  an
• 17:18
  a
• 17:18
  kind
• 17:18
  reminder
• 17:19
  is
• 17:19
  necessary.
• 17:19
  Hey,
• 17:20
  remember,
• 17:20
  I
• 17:20
  just
• 17:21
  really,
• 17:21
  really
• 17:21
  need
• 17:21
  you
• 17:22
  to
• 17:22
  knock
• 17:22
  before
• 17:22
  you
• 17:22
  come
• 17:22
  in
• 17:23
  I
• 17:23
  really
• 17:23
  need
• 17:23
  to
• 17:23
  make
• 17:23
  sure
• 17:23
  I'm
• 17:24
  not
• 17:24
  walking
• 17:24
  around
• 17:24
  in
• 17:24
  my
• 17:24
  underwear.
• 17:25
  Please
• 17:25
  knock.
• 17:26
  When
• 17:26
  you
• 17:26
  come
• 17:26
  over,
• 17:26
  I'd
• 17:26
  really
• 17:27
  appreciate
• 17:27
  that.
• 17:28
  And
• 17:28
  then
• 17:28
  it
• 17:29
  gets
• 17:29
  to
• 17:29
  be
• 17:29
  up
• 17:29
  to
• 17:29
  you.
• 17:30
  How
• 17:30
  many
• 17:30
  times
• 17:30
  you
• 17:30
  allow
• 17:31
  that.
• 17:31
  boundary
• 17:31
  to
• 17:31
  be
• 17:31
  crossed
• 17:32
  before.
• 17:33
  Maybe
• 17:33
  you
• 17:33
  start
• 17:33
  limiting
• 17:33
  access
• 17:34
  to
• 17:34
  you.
• 17:34
  Maybe
• 17:35
  when
• 17:35
  your
• 17:35
  brother
• 17:35
  comes
• 17:36
  over,
• 17:36
  you
• 17:36
  start
• 17:36
  locking
• 17:36
  the
• 17:36
  doors.
• 17:38
  Or
• 17:38
  maybe
• 17:38
  you
• 17:38
  just
• 17:39
  conveniently
• 17:39
  aren't
• 17:39
  home
• 17:40
  on
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  times
• 17:40
  when
• 17:40
  he
• 17:40
  usually
• 17:41
  swings
• 17:41
  by,
• 17:42
  you
• 17:42
  need
• 17:42
  to
• 17:42
  communicate
• 17:43
  this
• 17:43
  boundary
• 17:43
  first
• 17:44
  though,
• 17:44
  and
• 17:44
  give
• 17:44
  several
• 17:45
  reminders
• 17:45
  before
• 17:45
  you
• 17:45
  start
• 17:46
  doing
• 17:46
  that,
• 17:46
  because
• 17:46
  otherwise
• 17:47
  it's
• 17:47
  just
• 17:47
  passive
• 17:47
  aggressive.
• 17:48
  Because
• 17:48
  then
• 17:49
  when
• 17:49
  your
• 17:49
  brother
• 17:49
  wonders,
• 17:49
  why
• 17:50
  is
• 17:50
  she
• 17:50
  never
• 17:50
  home?
• 17:50
  Or
• 17:50
  why
• 17:51
  are
• 17:51
  the
• 17:51
  doors
• 17:51
  locked?
• 17:51
  He'll
• 17:52
  realize,
• 17:52
  oh,
• 17:52
  she
• 17:53
  did
• 17:53
  ask
• 17:53
  me
• 17:53
  to
• 17:53
  knock
• 17:53
  and
• 17:53
  I
• 17:54
  haven't
• 17:54
  done
• 17:54
  that
• 17:54
  for
• 17:54
  the
• 17:54
  last
• 17:54
  four
• 17:55
  times.
• 17:55
  Maybe
• 17:56
  I
• 17:56
  should
• 17:56
  start
• 17:56
  knocking.
• 17:57
  That
• 17:57
  would
• 17:57
  be
• 17:57
  the
• 17:58
  respectful
• 17:58
  thing
• 17:58
  to
• 17:58
  do.
• 17:59
  Hopefully
• 18:00
  the
• 18:00
  people
• 18:00
  that
• 18:00
  you
• 18:00
  love
• 18:00
  will
• 18:01
  start
• 18:01
  honoring
• 18:02
  those
• 18:02
  boundaries
• 18:02
  because
• 18:03
  they
• 18:03
  value
• 18:03
  the
• 18:03
  relationship
• 18:03
  as
• 18:04
  well.
• 18:04
  But
• 18:04
  you
• 18:04
  might
• 18:05
  have
• 18:05
  to
• 18:05
  do.
• 18:05
  a
• 18:05
  little
• 18:05
  bit
• 18:05
  of
• 18:05
  education.
• 18:06
  You
• 18:06
  might
• 18:06
  have
• 18:06
  to
• 18:07
  say,
• 18:07
  Hey,
• 18:07
  you
• 18:07
  know
• 18:07
  what?
• 18:08
  When
• 18:08
  you
• 18:08
  just
• 18:08
  walk
• 18:08
  into
• 18:08
  my
• 18:08
  house.
• 18:09
  I
• 18:10
  actually
• 18:10
  makes
• 18:10
  me
• 18:10
  really
• 18:11
  feel
• 18:11
  angry
• 18:11
  towards
• 18:12
  you.
• 18:12
  And
• 18:12
  I
• 18:12
  don't
• 18:12
  want
• 18:12
  to
• 18:12
  feel
• 18:12
  angry.
• 18:13
  I
• 18:13
  love
• 18:13
  you.
• 18:14
  And
• 18:14
  I
• 18:14
  actually
• 18:14
  love
• 18:14
  when
• 18:14
  you
• 18:15
  come
• 18:15
  over,
• 18:15
  but
• 18:15
  I
• 18:15
  don't
• 18:15
  want
• 18:16
  to
• 18:16
  be
• 18:16
  upset
• 18:16
  and
• 18:16
  that's
• 18:17
  not
• 18:17
  on
• 18:17
  you.
• 18:17
  That's
• 18:17
  on
• 18:17
  me.
• 18:18
  So
• 18:18
  I'm
• 18:18
  asking
• 18:18
  you
• 18:18
  to
• 18:18
  please
• 18:19
  knock
• 18:19
  so
• 18:19
  that
• 18:19
  I
• 18:19
  can
• 18:20
  be
• 18:20
  calm
• 18:20
  and
• 18:21
  rational
• 18:21
  when
• 18:21
  you
• 18:21
  come
• 18:21
  over.
• 18:22
  Now,
• 18:22
  let
• 18:22
  me
• 18:22
  be
• 18:23
  clear.
• 18:23
  Here
• 18:23
  we
• 18:23
  are
• 18:23
  not.
• 18:24
  Uh,
• 18:24
  delegating
• 18:25
  our
• 18:25
  emotions
• 18:25
  to
• 18:26
  someone
• 18:26
  else.
• 18:27
  With
• 18:27
  coaching
• 18:28
  week.
• 18:28
  No,
• 18:28
  we
• 18:29
  can
• 18:29
  manage
• 18:29
  our
• 18:29
  mind,
• 18:30
  but
• 18:31
  if
• 18:31
  at
• 18:31
  all
• 18:31
  possible,
• 18:32
  we
• 18:32
  want
• 18:32
  to
• 18:32
  change
• 18:33
  a
• 18:33
  circumstance
• 18:34
  that
• 18:34
  is
• 18:34
  driving
• 18:34
  us
• 18:34
  crazy.
• 18:35
  We
• 18:35
  don't
• 18:36
  purposely
• 18:36
  become
• 18:36
  doormats
• 18:37
  and
• 18:37
  then
• 18:37
  just
• 18:37
  try
• 18:37
  to
• 18:37
  manage
• 18:38
  our
• 18:38
  emotions
• 18:38
  when
• 18:38
  everybody.
• 18:39
  Crosses
• 18:39
  our
• 18:39
  boundaries
• 18:40
  all
• 18:40
  the
• 18:40
  time.
• 18:40
  So
• 18:40
  that
• 18:41
  boundaries
• 18:42
  is
• 18:43
  circumstance
• 18:43
  work.
• 18:44
  It's
• 18:44
  where
• 18:44
  we
• 18:44
  go
• 18:44
  to
• 18:45
  our
• 18:45
  loved
• 18:45
  ones
• 18:45
  and
• 18:45
  say,
• 18:46
  I
• 18:46
  would
• 18:46
  love
• 18:47
  for
• 18:47
  you
• 18:47
  to
• 18:47
  honor
• 18:47
  this
• 18:47
  boundary.
• 18:48
  And
• 18:48
  if
• 18:48
  you
• 18:48
  don't,
• 18:49
  then
• 18:49
  I'm
• 18:49
  not
• 18:49
  going
• 18:49
  to
• 18:49
  be
• 18:50
  available.
• 18:50
  As
• 18:50
  much
• 18:50
  as
• 18:50
  before,
• 18:51
  because
• 18:51
  it's,
• 18:51
  this
• 18:52
  is
• 18:52
  really
• 18:52
  hard
• 18:52
  for
• 18:52
  me.
• 18:53
  So
• 18:53
  that
• 18:53
  makes
• 18:53
  sense.
• 18:53
  So
• 18:54
  we're
• 18:54
  not
• 18:54
  delegating
• 18:55
  our
• 18:55
  negative
• 18:55
  emotion
• 18:55
  to
• 18:56
  somebody
• 18:56
  else
• 18:56
  and
• 18:56
  telling
• 18:56
  them
• 18:56
  it's
• 18:56
  their
• 18:57
  fault.
• 18:58
  It's
• 18:58
  still
• 18:58
  up
• 18:58
  to
• 18:58
  us
• 18:58
  and
• 18:58
  we
• 18:59
  can
• 18:59
  manage
• 18:59
  those
• 18:59
  thoughts,
• 19:00
  but
• 19:00
  it's
• 19:00
  so
• 19:00
  much
• 19:01
  easier
• 19:01
  to
• 19:01
  do
• 19:02
  if
• 19:02
  we
• 19:02
  acknowledge
• 19:03
  that
• 19:03
  our
• 19:03
  nervous
• 19:03
  system
• 19:03
  doesn't
• 19:04
  love
• 19:04
  when
• 19:04
  people
• 19:04
  walk
• 19:04
  into
• 19:05
  our
• 19:05
  house
• 19:05
  without,
• 19:06
  knocking.
• 19:06
  Hopefully
• 19:06
  that
• 19:06
  makes
• 19:07
  sense.
• 19:07
  You
• 19:07
  guys
• 19:07
  sometimes
• 19:08
  with
• 19:08
  a
• 19:08
  loved
• 19:08
  one,
• 19:08
  this
• 19:09
  is
• 19:09
  very,
• 19:09
  very
• 19:09
  hard
• 19:10
  to
• 19:10
  do,
• 19:10
  but
• 19:10
  I
• 19:10
  promise
• 19:11
  it's
• 19:11
  not
• 19:11
  impossible.
• 19:12
  And
• 19:12
  by
• 19:12
  doing
• 19:12
  so
• 19:12
  and
• 19:13
  being
• 19:13
  really
• 19:13
  vulnerable
• 19:13
  with
• 19:14
  the
• 19:14
  person
• 19:14
  and
• 19:14
  really
• 19:14
  honest,
• 19:15
  it
• 19:15
  can
• 19:16
  make
• 19:16
  the
• 19:16
  relationship
• 19:17
  just
• 19:17
  thrive
• 19:18
  if
• 19:18
  you
• 19:18
  are
• 19:18
  consistent
• 19:19
  with
• 19:19
  this.
• 19:20
  So.
• 19:21
  That's
• 19:21
  it,
• 19:22
  this
• 19:22
  is
• 19:22
  how
• 19:22
  boundaries
• 19:23
  are
• 19:23
  like
• 19:23
  broccoli.
• 19:24
  They're
• 19:24
  So.
• 19:24
  good
• 19:24
  for
• 19:24
  you.
• 19:25
  And
• 19:25
  they
• 19:25
  can
• 19:25
  be.
• 19:26
  Painful
• 19:27
  to
• 19:27
  eat
• 19:27
  sometimes
• 19:28
  painful
• 19:28
  to
• 19:28
  implement.
• 19:29
  So
• 19:29
  I
• 19:29
  hope
• 19:30
  you
• 19:30
  guys
• 19:30
  get
• 19:30
  your
• 19:30
  vegetables
• 19:31
  in
• 19:31
  the
• 19:31
  form
• 19:31
  of
• 19:31
  enforcing
• 19:32
  boundaries.
• 19:32
  If
• 19:33
  this
• 19:33
  is
• 19:33
  a
• 19:33
  hard
• 19:33
  phenomenon
• 19:33
  for
• 19:34
  you,
• 19:34
  just
• 19:34
  take
• 19:34
  a
• 19:34
  few
• 19:34
  minutes
• 19:34
  to
• 19:35
  do
• 19:35
  some
• 19:35
  journaling.
• 19:36
  Write
• 19:36
  down
• 19:36
  your
• 19:36
  thoughts
• 19:37
  about
• 19:37
  what
• 19:37
  comes
• 19:37
  up
• 19:37
  for
• 19:38
  you
• 19:38
  when
• 19:38
  you
• 19:38
  need
• 19:38
  to
• 19:38
  enforce
• 19:39
  a
• 19:39
  boundary
• 19:39
  for
• 19:39
  someone
• 19:39
  and
• 19:40
  write
• 19:40
  down
• 19:40
  some
• 19:40
  examples
• 19:41
  of
• 19:41
  boundaries
• 19:42
  that
• 19:42
  you
• 19:42
  have
• 19:42
  felt
• 19:42
  that
• 19:43
  have
• 19:43
  been
• 19:43
  crossed
• 19:43
  and
• 19:43
  you've
• 19:44
  liked
• 19:44
  to
• 19:44
  have
• 19:45
  enforced,
• 19:45
  but
• 19:45
  maybe
• 19:45
  not
• 19:45
  had
• 19:46
  the
• 19:46
  guts
• 19:46
  to
• 19:46
  do
• 19:46
  so.
• 19:47
  And
• 19:47
  then
• 19:47
  make
• 19:47
  sure
• 19:47
  you
• 19:48
  are
• 19:48
  protecting
• 19:48
  yourself
• 19:48
  from
• 19:49
  those
• 19:49
  who
• 19:49
  refuse
• 19:50
  to
• 19:50
  honor
• 19:50
  your
• 19:50
  boundaries.
• 19:50
  Even
• 19:51
  if
• 19:51
  you,
• 19:51
  after
• 19:51
  you've
• 19:51
  had
• 19:52
  kind
• 19:52
  conversations
• 19:53
  with
• 19:53
  them.
• 19:54
  We
• 19:54
  want
• 19:54
  to
• 19:54
  have
• 19:54
  good
• 19:55
  relationships
• 19:55
  with
• 19:55
  people,
• 19:55
  but
• 19:56
  some
• 19:56
  people,
• 19:56
  if
• 19:56
  they
• 19:56
  don't
• 19:57
  respect
• 19:57
  us,
• 19:58
  Don't
• 19:58
  deserve
• 19:59
  a
• 19:59
  relationship
• 19:59
  with
• 19:59
  us,
• 19:59
  Okay.
• 20:00
  I
• 20:00
  want
• 20:00
  you
• 20:00
  guys
• 20:00
  to
• 20:01
  be
• 20:01
  honored
• 20:01
  and
• 20:01
  respected
• 20:02
  in
• 20:02
  your
• 20:02
  relationships.
• 20:02
  I
• 20:02
  want
• 20:03
  you
• 20:03
  to
• 20:03
  have
• 20:03
  great
• 20:03
  thriving,
• 20:04
  deep
• 20:04
  relationships
• 20:05
  with
• 20:05
  your
• 20:05
  loved
• 20:05
  ones
• 20:06
  and
• 20:06
  with
• 20:06
  your
• 20:06
  friends
• 20:06
  and
• 20:07
  boundaries
• 20:07
  are
• 20:08
  the
• 20:08
  way
• 20:08
  to
• 20:08
  do
• 20:08
  it.
• 20:09
  I
• 20:09
  hope
• 20:09
  you
• 20:09
  guys
• 20:09
  had
• 20:09
  a
• 20:09
  wonderful
• 20:10
  Thanksgiving
• 20:10
  This.
• 20:10
  week
• 20:10
  and
• 20:10
  enjoy
• 20:11
  your
• 20:11
  weekend.
• 20:11
  We'll
• 20:12
  talk
• 20:12
  to
• 20:12
  you
• 20:12
  next
• 20:12
  week.