Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 205. Six Questions Every Empty Nest Mom Should Ask to Discover Her God-Given Purpose
Transcript
- 0:02[SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting.
- 0:08[SPEAKER_00]: Hey mama, I'm Pamela Hinklman and you're listening to the Midlife Mama Podcast.
- 0:13[SPEAKER_00]: The show for Christian moms who want to let go with grace and actually enjoy their empty nest.
- 0:19[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a certified empty nest coach, speaker, and mom of five grown kids.
- 0:24[SPEAKER_00]: I know the challenges this season brings from letting go to setting healthy boundaries, to rediscovering your purpose, and reconnecting with your husband.
- 0:33[SPEAKER_00]: Each week I'll be your guide.
- 0:35[SPEAKER_00]: offering heartfelt conversations, faith-filled encouragement and practical strategies to help you thrive in this next chapter.
- 0:43[SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I are loving the emptiness years and I have strong growing relationships with my adult kids and I want the same for you.
- 0:52[SPEAKER_00]: Don't miss the end of each episode.
- 0:53[SPEAKER_00]: I'll share a quick coaching tip you can apply right away to improve your relationship with your kids or your spouse.
- 1:00[SPEAKER_00]: One favor before we dive in.
- 1:02[SPEAKER_00]: If you find this episode helpful, would you leave a rating and review?
- 1:06[SPEAKER_00]: It helps other moms discover the show.
- 1:09[SPEAKER_00]: There's a link in the show notes with instructions.
- 1:11[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you're following the podcast, so you don't miss a single episode.
- 1:15[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get started.
- 1:18[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Mama!
- 1:18[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the Midlife Mama podcast, the place for faint friendship and real talk for empty nest moms.
- 1:26[SPEAKER_00]: If you've ever found yourself asking, what's next?
- 1:30[SPEAKER_00]: Who am I now?
- 1:31[SPEAKER_00]: Does my life still have purpose after motherhood?
- 1:34[SPEAKER_00]: You are not alone.
- 1:36[SPEAKER_00]: The empty nest is one of the most significant transitions a woman will ever face.
- 1:42[SPEAKER_00]: And most of us don't arrive here with a clear roadmap.
- 1:46[SPEAKER_00]: Today, we're talking about purpose, not the hustle kind, not the pressure-filled kind, but the God-given purpose that continues long after our kids leave home.
- 1:57[SPEAKER_00]: I want to remind you of this truth right from the start.
- 2:00[SPEAKER_00]: Your purpose did not expire when your parenting role changed.
- 2:04[SPEAKER_00]: God is still at work in you, and He's been preparing you for this season all along.
- 2:09[SPEAKER_00]: In this episode, I'll walk you through six thoughtful faith-filled questions to help you uncover what God may be inviting you into next.
- 2:19[SPEAKER_00]: So grab your journal, take a deep breath, and let's go looking for gold together.
- 2:26[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I realized, no woman slides quietly or effortlessly into the empty nest.
- 2:33[SPEAKER_00]: This is a monumental transition and most of us arrive here feeling unprepared for what comes next or unsure that God is still at work in us.
- 2:46[SPEAKER_00]: As we stand on the edge of this new season, the questions get louder.
- 2:51[SPEAKER_00]: What's next?
- 2:52[SPEAKER_00]: Who am I apart from my motherhood?
- 2:54[SPEAKER_00]: And does my life still have purpose?
- 2:57[SPEAKER_00]: And if so, what is it now?
- 3:00[SPEAKER_00]: If you've asked any of these questions, you're not behind your right on time.
- 3:05[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture reminds us for we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do Ephesians 2.10.
- 3:16[SPEAKER_00]: That promise didn't expire when you kids left home.
- 3:20[SPEAKER_00]: God's purposes for you are not tied to one role or one season.
- 3:24[SPEAKER_00]: They're woven into who you are.
- 3:27[SPEAKER_00]: And as an emptiness coach, I have learned something important.
- 3:31[SPEAKER_00]: Clarity doesn't come from quick answers.
- 3:34[SPEAKER_00]: It comes from asking better questions.
- 3:37[SPEAKER_00]: And questions are exactly what we need in the season of shifting identities and fresh possibilities we didn't see coming.
- 3:45[SPEAKER_00]: Let's be honest, we'd all love a clarion call from heaven that says, this is what I created you for, do this.
- 3:54[SPEAKER_00]: But more often than not, God leads us gently, inviting us to look inward and backward before we can move forward.
- 4:03[SPEAKER_00]: The surest way to uncover your purpose is to become thoughtfully introspective to mind your story and your God-given motivations for clues to what he's been preparing you for all along.
- 4:16[SPEAKER_00]: So let's dig.
- 4:17[SPEAKER_00]: Here are six questions to help you discover your purpose in the empty nest.
- 4:23[SPEAKER_00]: Question number one, what are you passionate about?
- 4:27[SPEAKER_00]: What is the one thing your heart keeps circling back to, no matter the season or the responsibilities on your plate?
- 4:35[SPEAKER_00]: Another way to ask this is what sets your soul on fire?
- 4:38[SPEAKER_00]: What topic, cause or activity, stir something deep with a new and moves you to action?
- 4:45[SPEAKER_00]: Passion has a way of rising to the surface without effort.
- 4:50[SPEAKER_00]: It's the thing you could talk about for 30 minutes without notes.
- 4:53[SPEAKER_00]: It's the conversation that energizes you instead of draining you.
- 4:57[SPEAKER_00]: The space where you feel most alive, most yourself, and most engaged.
- 5:03[SPEAKER_00]: This kind of passion doesn't feel forced, it doesn't feel heavy, it feels life-giving, and when you're leading into it, time passes quickly, and fulfillment comes naturally, not because it's easy, but because it's aligned.
- 5:18[SPEAKER_00]: So pay attention to what lights you up.
- 5:20[SPEAKER_00]: God often plants our passions as clues to our purpose.
- 5:25[SPEAKER_00]: And when you follow what he's been stirring in your heart, you may just find that he's been preparing you for this season all along.
- 5:33[SPEAKER_00]: Psalm 374 says, take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
- 5:39[SPEAKER_00]: This verse reminds us that when our hearts are anchored in God,
- 5:42[SPEAKER_00]: The desires he places within us are not selfish or accidental.
- 5:47[SPEAKER_00]: Often, our deepest passions are God-given, planted there to draw us toward the good works.
- 5:54[SPEAKER_00]: He's inviting us into now.
- 5:56[SPEAKER_00]: And as you pay attention to what delights you, trust that God may be revealing something sacred about your purpose in this season.
- 6:05[SPEAKER_00]: Question number two.
- 6:06[SPEAKER_00]: What are your natural gifts?
- 6:08[SPEAKER_00]: God has wired you in very specific ways and those gifts didn't disappear when your kids left home.
- 6:14[SPEAKER_00]: What comes naturally to you?
- 6:16[SPEAKER_00]: What do others consistently thank you for or seek you out?
- 6:20[SPEAKER_00]: to help with.
- 6:21[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're a steady listener, a wise encourager, a creative thinker, an organizer, a teacher, or a natural leader.
- 6:29[SPEAKER_00]: These abilities often feel ordinary to us because they've always been there, but that doesn't make them less significant.
- 6:37[SPEAKER_00]: Your natural gifts are the thing you do with ease and grace often without formal training.
- 6:43[SPEAKER_00]: They're the strings that quietly show up again and again in your relationships, your work, your church, and your
- 6:50[SPEAKER_00]: While passion points to what excites you, your gifts reveal how God is equipped you to serve.
- 6:56[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture tells us we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us in Romans 126.
- 7:02[SPEAKER_00]: That means that your gifts are not random and they're not meant to be compared.
- 7:08[SPEAKER_00]: They are grace-filled and intentional designed to be used for God's glory in this season of your life.
- 7:20[SPEAKER_00]: God often uses what feels most natural to accomplish what is most meaningful.
- 7:26[SPEAKER_00]: Your gifts are not leftovers from a past season.
- 7:29[SPEAKER_00]: They are tools for what he's calling you into now.
- 7:33[SPEAKER_00]: Question number three, how have you served in the past?
- 7:38[SPEAKER_00]: Your past is not something to move beyond or dismiss.
- 7:42[SPEAKER_00]: It's something to mind for wisdom.
- 7:44[SPEAKER_00]: As you look back over the years of raising your children pay attention to the ways you naturally showed up to serve, where you the one who stepped in to lead when something needed organizing or direction,
- 7:56[SPEAKER_00]: The mom who gathered people made plans and carried responsibilities with confidence or were you the quiet servant, the one who noticed needs, offered steady support, and so faithfully behind the scenes with humility and care.
- 8:10[SPEAKER_00]: These patterns matter.
- 8:12[SPEAKER_00]: They reveal how God has shaped you through lived experience.
- 8:16[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture tells us and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.
- 8:24[SPEAKER_00]: Romans 828.
- 8:25[SPEAKER_00]: God has revealed His purposes in the past, and He will continue to do so in the empty next.
- 8:34[SPEAKER_00]: Hey mama, if your house feels too quiet and your heart feels too heavy after launching your child, I've created a guide just for you.
- 8:43[SPEAKER_00]: It's called journaling through transitional grief.
- 8:46[SPEAKER_00]: A gentle, faith-filled resource to help you process the deep emotions of letting go.
- 8:51[SPEAKER_00]: Inside you'll find six reflection questions that will help you name your feelings.
- 8:57[SPEAKER_00]: invite God into the grief and experience his comfort in the middle of change.
- 9:02[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, transitional grief is only a season and God is leading you toward peace, purpose, and joy.
- 9:10[SPEAKER_00]: You can grab your free copy at the link in the show notes.
- 9:13[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get back to our conversation.
- 9:16[SPEAKER_00]: Question number four to discover your purpose is, what motivates you?
- 9:23[SPEAKER_00]: This question moves from what you're good at to what energizes you.
- 9:27[SPEAKER_00]: Motivation is about noticing what stirs you to action, what pulls you forward rather than pushes you from behind.
- 9:36[SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention to what gives you energy instead of draining it.
- 9:41[SPEAKER_00]: What activities leave you feeling more alive, more hopeful, or more engaged.
- 9:46[SPEAKER_00]: What ideas spark enthusiasm and make you want to lean in, rather than check out?
- 9:51[SPEAKER_00]: Motivation often reveals itself in contrast.
- 9:55[SPEAKER_00]: Notice what exhaust you and what fuels you.
- 9:58[SPEAKER_00]: The difference matters.
- 10:00[SPEAKER_00]: When something aligned with how God wired you, it feels life-giving even when it requires effort.
- 10:07[SPEAKER_00]: You may find yourself thinking, this is what I was made for.
- 10:11[SPEAKER_00]: I can do this all day and still have joy.
- 10:15[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture reminds us for it is God who works in you to will to act in order to fulfill his good purposes, Olympians 213.
- 10:23[SPEAKER_00]: That inner drive, the desire to show up, serve, create or lead may vary be God at work within you, nudging you toward what he's calling you to next.
- 10:37[SPEAKER_00]: Listen closely to what motivates you.
- 10:40[SPEAKER_00]: God often uses holy desire to guide us into
- 10:46[SPEAKER_00]: Question number five, what skills have you honed through motherhood?
- 10:51[SPEAKER_00]: Motherhood has been one of your greatest training grounds even if it didn't come with a resume or a paycheck.
- 10:58[SPEAKER_00]: Over the years, you've developed a distinct and valuable skill set, shaped by love, perseverance, and daily faithfulness, think about it.
- 11:07[SPEAKER_00]: Have you become a clear-and-firm communicator, a flexible problem-solver, or an agile planner?
- 11:14[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've built physical strengths from years of wrangling toddlers carrying car seats or simply showing up day after day, perhaps you've grown into a steady leader, a capable
- 11:27[SPEAKER_00]: Many moms have also developed deep compassion and empathy through hardship.
- 11:32[SPEAKER_00]: You've learned how to advocate fiercely for your child, navigate, medical or emotional challenges, or walk through seasons that required courage you didn't know you had.
- 11:41[SPEAKER_00]: Those experiences were not wasted, they refined you.
- 11:47[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture assures us.
- 11:49[SPEAKER_00]: And let us not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
- 11:55[SPEAKER_00]: Galatians 69.
- 11:57[SPEAKER_00]: The good work you've done in motherhood has produced strength, wisdom, and resilience that can now be stewarded in different ways.
- 12:05[SPEAKER_00]: Take time to notice what God has been honing in you all along.
- 12:09[SPEAKER_00]: The skills shaped in one season often become the tools for purpose in the next.
- 12:14[SPEAKER_00]: God truly wastes nothing.
- 12:18[SPEAKER_00]: Question number six, where is God leading you?
- 12:21[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, the surest way to discover your purpose is to ask God to lead you and then trust that he will.
- 12:30[SPEAKER_00]: The one who orders your steps and holds every moment of your life already sees the season clearly, you are not wandering, you are being guided.
- 12:40[SPEAKER_00]: This is who your God is.
- 12:42[SPEAKER_00]: This is how faithfully he cares for you.
- 12:45[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture reminds us, the Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.
- 12:51[SPEAKER_00]: Psalm 3723, God is not vague or withholding with his children.
- 12:57[SPEAKER_00]: He promises to lead to direct and go before you, one step at a time.
- 13:02[SPEAKER_00]: Your role is not to figure everything out.
- 13:06[SPEAKER_00]: Your role is to get before him and prayer, invite his guidance, and then keep your eyes open
- 13:15[SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention to the recurring nudges, open doors, timely conversations, and the quiet peace.
- 13:22[SPEAKER_00]: That settles when something aligns with his will.
- 13:24[SPEAKER_00]: And as you pray, ask God to lead and then listen.
- 13:29[SPEAKER_00]: Connect your prayers to what he's unfolding into your real everyday life.
- 13:34[SPEAKER_00]: Purpose often reveals itself as we walk with God, not before we move.
- 13:39[SPEAKER_00]: There is no need to fear this season, or wonder if your purpose is somehow past you by.
- 13:44[SPEAKER_00]: You serve a faithful God, one who reveals, directs, and gently guides, as you pause, reflect, and get curious about the life he's been shaping within you all along.
- 13:56[SPEAKER_00]: As you pay attention to what stirs your heart, what motivates your steps, and what brings a holy sense of joy to your soul, trust this.
- 14:05[SPEAKER_00]: Your purpose is not lost.
- 14:06[SPEAKER_00]: It's unfolding.
- 14:08[SPEAKER_00]: It's been forming through every season of Motherhood, every challenge you walk through, and every strength got his quietly cultivated in you.
- 14:15[SPEAKER_00]: The empty nest is not an ending.
- 14:18[SPEAKER_00]: It's an invitation.
- 14:20[SPEAKER_00]: an invitation to listen more closely to trust God more deeply and to partner with God as he reveals what's next.
- 14:28[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to rush, you don't have to have it all figured out, you simply have to show up with an open heart and a willing spirit.
- 14:36[SPEAKER_00]: So go ahead, invite God into the process, ask questions, take the next step.
- 14:42[SPEAKER_00]: Your purpose is waiting and God is eager to
- 14:48[SPEAKER_00]: Here's your coaching tip of the week.
- 14:50[SPEAKER_00]: In each episode, I will give you one actionable step to improve your life.
- 14:54[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, you can't change everything, but you can take one step to be better.
- 14:59[SPEAKER_00]: As you reflect on these six questions, I encourage you to bring them to God in prayer.
- 15:04[SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention to what stirs in your heart, what brings peace to your soul, and what feels life-giving in the season.
- 15:12[SPEAKER_00]: God promises to lead his children one step at a time and he will be faithful to do that for you.
- 15:19[SPEAKER_00]: The empty nest is not an ending.
- 15:21[SPEAKER_00]: It's an invitation, an invitation to listen more closely.
- 15:24[SPEAKER_00]: Trust more deeply and partner with God is he gently reveals what's next.
- 15:30[SPEAKER_00]: If you'd support discerning your next steps, I would love to walk alongside you.
- 15:35[SPEAKER_00]: I take my clients through a five-page unique this worksheet which provides outstanding clarity.
- 15:41[SPEAKER_00]: You can schedule a free connection call at the link in my show notes.
- 15:44[SPEAKER_00]: And until next time, remember this.
- 15:47[SPEAKER_00]: Grace and peace mama, you've got this and God's got you.
- 15:52[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for spending time with me on the Midlife Mama Podcast.
- 15:55[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you leave each episode feeling a little more encouraged, equipped, and seen because that's what this space is all about.
- 16:02[SPEAKER_00]: Through the stories, insights, and conversations we share here, I'm coaching you through the ups and downs of the empty nest, helping you rediscover, purpose, deepen faith, and enjoy this new season of life.
- 16:14[SPEAKER_00]: If you're ready for an even more personalized support, I'd love to invite you to book a free connection call.
- 16:19[SPEAKER_00]: The link is in the show notes and we'll talk about how I can walk alongside you as your coach.
- 16:24[SPEAKER_00]: And let's stay connected.
- 16:26[SPEAKER_00]: Follow me on Instagram at PDHankelman, that's PH-E-N-K-E-L-M-A-N, or come find me on Facebook at Pamelaankelman, Empty Nest Coach.
- 16:37[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to figure this out on your own mama.
- 16:40[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for you when you're ready.