Latest / DidiLawren / How My Boyfriend Ghosted Me After 11 Years Of Dating and Securing Bank Loans For His Building Project
Transcript
- 0:31Hello and welcome back to another episode of wanted.
- 0:33Lorenzo on did Lauren TV. My name is Lauren cod4 and I am
- 0:39just going to go straight to today's topic.
- 0:42Sweeter is a different spin on its own.
- 0:46Like if you're not on Twitter, please, please go get your
- 0:51treaties are Gua, Rajasthan desert.
- 0:54Okay? So for today's episode, we're
- 0:57going to be talking about tweets.
- 0:59I Of course, on Twitter. So this lady she's been dating a
- 1:03boyfriend for about 11 years and during all those years of
- 1:09dating. He always claimed that he loved
- 1:13her. She started building with him.
- 1:16She secured alone because he said before he gets married, he
- 1:20want to, like, have a place, you know, you know, when somebody is
- 1:24telling you, I don't marry you because I am not expire,
- 1:27bleached or because I've not gotten a b and c.
- 1:32So she felt okay. Let me help my man to get him
- 1:35set up and then be able to get married to me if that was the
- 1:39stumbling block. So she secured alone.
- 1:43When he said he wanted to build have a building project.
- 1:47She helped insecurity the loan. He started building.
- 1:50She was supporting him financially emotionally, and
- 1:54otherwise she was supporting her boyfriend.
- 2:00And along the line, he took a during the pandemic.
- 2:04Actually, according to her. He took her to the building
- 2:07project to tell her that this will be our hope.
- 2:10She was happy about it. She felt.
- 2:13Okay. Finally, this relationship is
- 2:15getting off the ground. We're going to move to the next
- 2:18step. And one of these things was
- 2:20going on. She had a family friend, who saw
- 2:24through this boyfriend of hers and propose to her said, listen
- 2:28live. This guy marry me.
- 2:29Me, I've always loved you. I want to get married, but I
- 2:35just want to let you know that if you are happy too, we will
- 2:39marry me. I would be very happy to have
- 2:42you as a wife. She said, she discussed with the
- 2:44boyfriend and he said, no, that he's that she is his name like
- 2:51they're getting married already built in their house and it will
- 2:55help them move in and live, a happy married life.
- 3:00So she went back to this guy to see that she's not getting
- 3:03married to him. He should go and get married to.
- 3:05Somebody else. All of a sudden last year.
- 3:10He came to have to say that his parents told him that he cannot
- 3:16marry her. The building project is now
- 3:18completed which was the reason why he didn't want to marry her
- 3:22oldest while. Now she secured The Loon
- 3:25building is completed. He is now giving her advice cues
- 3:29that his theory It's a scene that he cannot get married too
- 3:33hard because of tribal differences.
- 3:37Now mind you, these people are from the same state.
- 3:39She said she's from kogi State and he is also from kogi state
- 3:43board different local government.
- 3:47I think kind of comforting her. They said he did very bad that
- 3:51they are very sure that the parents have nothing to do with
- 3:54it. He just woke up one day to
- 3:56decide. Okay, you are no longer good
- 3:59enough for me. Yeah, I want somebody else now
- 4:02that I think I'm financially stable.
- 4:05And in fact, she said that he came back to her to request for
- 4:09another loan. He came back to ask her to sit
- 4:13you on another loan and she said he's very sure that that loan is
- 4:17what he wants to use to get married to another girl that she
- 4:21refused to to do that for him. And now she has, you know
- 4:25rejected a lot of suitors that wanted to marry her.
- 4:29She's in a meeting. The sees she's single.
- 4:33She don't even know where to start dating from like she the
- 4:37last time she dated was about 11 years ago that she didn't even
- 4:41know where to start from. A lot of people.
- 4:43We are advising her. They said this guy is just you
- 4:47know men are scum. I did not say that.
- 4:51These are Twitter user say you need so don't go for me.
- 4:55Some of them were saying that man has come.
- 4:57You know, how can a man this is somebody that That a lot of men
- 5:01are looking for, this is somebody that, you know, a lot
- 5:04of people want to want to marry as in why this is wife material,
- 5:10and somebody else is just discarding her, just because he
- 5:14has gotten everything he wanted from her and he is now leaving
- 5:18to go, get married to somebody else.
- 5:20I mean, it never years is a long time to have dated somebody and
- 5:24not know. Listen, people can hide their
- 5:28true intention. People can lie.
- 5:30Life, in fact, she said in 2020 during the pandemic.
- 5:36He took her to this video to say that's okay.
- 5:38This is our home. Just to ensure that she was
- 5:42giving him money securing a loan for him to help him achieve all
- 5:47his goal. And now that he has achieved all
- 5:49these things. He's not thinking okay, you're
- 5:51not suitable for me these people.
- 5:54They've created for 11 years and it will no longer than some
- 5:58people have been married before. Or they separate before they get
- 6:01divorced. So a lot of times we see a long
- 6:05relationship like this and, and nobody sympathize with either
- 6:10the man or the woman. Because, as far as they're
- 6:12concerned, he did not marry you as far as they're concerned.
- 6:16You and not in didn't make it legal or you didn't make it
- 6:19official. So most times, especially the,
- 6:23in the case of the women. They are left hanging because
- 6:26they will tell you. Why did you stay that long?
- 6:28Why did you know? In fact, some?
- 6:30Your lunch came to, I was asking her if you're in a relationship
- 6:35and you've dated for over three years and is more like you have
- 6:40to be asking your partner. What are we doing?
- 6:43What are your feelings towards me?
- 6:45And he made mention of something.
- 6:47He said the way the person replies that question is even
- 6:51more important than the answer. They are giving.
- 6:54I am very sure that we all have been in one or two situations,
- 6:58whereby you meet somebody. Do you think?
- 7:00Okay. This is the person.
- 7:01This is last boss top and along the line.
- 7:04You're seeing red flags along the line, You'll see that this
- 7:07person is no longer called as committed, as you want him or
- 7:12her to be 0. Because most times, you just
- 7:16think, where do I start from? I've been in this relationship
- 7:19for five, six years. How do I even start from the
- 7:23beginning? This is where it extend from
- 7:27three years to four years, 25 years. 11 years, 11 years of
- 7:34dating somebody. And this person just wake up to
- 7:37say that I am no longer interested sometimes because of
- 7:40the benefits that they are gaining from that relationship
- 7:45because they are no ready, because they are not ready to
- 7:48settle down the just think, okay.
- 7:50This person is available. Let me just, you know, waste
- 7:53their time. Let me be with them on till I
- 7:56find my own person. Oh, probably They just think,
- 8:01okay, people for lots of love. Let's just put that out there.
- 8:05People date people and then fall out of love.
- 8:09I think when you make up your mind to get married, I think
- 8:12that is when you start seeing different things that you will
- 8:16not previously. See you start noticing things
- 8:19that maybe you did not notice. So I'm not saying he did wrong
- 8:25by coming out to say, it is better to have a broken
- 8:28relationship than have a broken. Marriage, but the question is
- 8:32and this goes out to the guys are War points.
- 8:35Do you need somebody and just feel, okay.
- 8:39This is going to be my wife. Or do you meet somebody after 1
- 8:44year 2 years? 3 years, 4 more points.
- 8:50I just want to double it, I will points.
- 8:52Do you realize that I am going to marry this person?
- 8:56Do you know that from the get-go?
- 8:58From the very first? First day, you meet that person,
- 9:02or do you grow to love that person and then decide to marry
- 9:08that person or do you think? Okay.
- 9:11Do you marry out of pity? Let's say this guy.
- 9:15She has helped him in so many ways.
- 9:19Shell's helped him do so many things complete.
- 9:22His project. Is it okay for him to marry her?
- 9:26Just because he has decayed have 11 years.
- 9:29She has helped him out. To do all these things and when
- 9:33it's time for marriage and he realized that, okay.
- 9:36This is not somebody that wants to get married to and he saying
- 9:40okay. I'm not.
- 9:41I cannot marry you. How long do you date?
- 9:43Somebody to know that this person is the one?
- 9:47Do you know that from the get-go?
- 9:49Do you get into a relationship being prepared?
- 9:53I mean, they started this in their 20s, so I don't think he
- 9:58was ready at that point to get married.
- 10:00Boats, did he see wife in her? Did he see a girlfriend his in
- 10:07her? Did he see a stepping stone in
- 10:10her or did he just see somebody he could while away time.
- 10:14I want to know these things. I mean if you're a guy and you
- 10:18see a girl regardless of you know, the physical appearance, I
- 10:23mean something is going to attract you to that person in
- 10:26the first place, but how do you classify?
- 10:32How do you classify this? Lady's to use.
- 10:35Look at this person? I think.
- 10:36Okay. This is a one-week Affair.
- 10:39You look at it. So the person to say this is a
- 10:41one night stand, how do you classify this?
- 10:44And what keeps you in a relationship for 11 years?
- 10:4911 years, only for you only for you to just come out to say that
- 10:54you're no longer interested in getting married to her.
- 10:56All I can say is guys, if you're in a relationship.
- 11:00Is somebody and immediately you realized?
- 11:03Okay, this is not the person I want to spend the rest of my
- 11:06life with. And if you guys are no longer in
- 11:08your 20s, don't waste somebody's daughters time, especially in
- 11:14Nigeria. Where once you, in fact, when
- 11:16you're in your mid-20s, everybody's looking at you to
- 11:20bring your husband. And if you dating that person
- 11:23and you realize that this is not my wife, or this is not
- 11:27somebody. I want to spend the rest of my
- 11:29life with Please and please on please live a purse and go.
- 11:34Don't be selfish. Don't be selfish.
- 11:38I'm my ladies. Don't wait until you've been in
- 11:41a relationship for 11 years before a man who come out and
- 11:46tell you that they are no longer interested.
- 11:49You've seen those signs. You've seen the red flags.
- 11:52You've known that this person has changed the same when a man
- 11:55change. We know, we know, it's just that
- 11:58we convince ourselves or Maybe he's stressed.
- 12:01He gave you the, the the excuse of he need to build a house
- 12:05before he can marry you. And now that house is built.
- 12:08You know, that that is a lie, but you just want to help him
- 12:11achieve that thinking, okay, that will solve the problem.
- 12:15Now, he did not. So, I am not even blaming the
- 12:18guy for ending things because a broken relationship is better
- 12:23than a broken marriage or do I blame me for taking that long
- 12:27before even coming out to say anything?
- 12:30And the fact that he is blaming this on the family shows that he
- 12:35is not being honest about it. If you're not going to marry
- 12:37somebody, give them. The reason the correct reason
- 12:40why you're not getting married to them.
- 12:43Don't blame it on any anybody take full responsibility for the
- 12:47lady. I would say.
- 12:49It's not going to be easy. You're just going to have to put
- 12:52on your big girl pants and get over it.
- 12:57It's not entirely on him because I know you must have seen some
- 13:01red flags and which you ignored thinking that he is going to
- 13:06come around but he never did. So I wish you all the best and I
- 13:12wish you love happiness and everything you deserve because
- 13:16you sound like a very good person.
- 13:18And for the guy, hmm, karma karma.
- 13:24I'm just going to leave it there Karma.
- 13:27So thank you very much for watching.
- 13:28Today's episode, please. He's like like like like, like
- 13:32and share and then see same time.
- 13:34Bye. Bye.
- 13:30He's like like like like, like and share and then see same
- 13:34time. Bye.
- 13:34Bye.