Latest / The Trauma Therapist / Living In Integrity with Michael Shaw
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma THEAPIS podcast. My name is gamcpherson.
- 0:04Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who dedicated their lives to helping
- 0:07Speaker 1: those who have been impacted by trauma. Here we go,
- 0:11Speaker 1: so five four, three, two and one, our folks, wilcome
- 0:16Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Very excited to have as my
- 0:18Speaker 1: guest today, Michael Shaw.
- 0:20Speaker 2: Michael, welcome, Thank you, happy to be here.
- 0:24Speaker 1: So Michael, founder, excuse me of the Mastery Mindset Library
- 0:28Speaker 1: is a psychology trained coach with over thirty years of
- 0:31Speaker 1: experience helping high achieving professionals overcome anxiety and depression without
- 0:35Speaker 1: relying on medication or years of traditional therapy. Drawing from
- 0:39Speaker 1: his background as a personal trainer, mental performance coach, and father,
- 0:44Speaker 1: Michael developed a unique belief based approach mental wellness that
- 0:47Speaker 1: empowers clients to create lasting change from the inside out. Today,
- 0:52Speaker 1: he's recognized as a leading voice in transforming mental health
- 0:55Speaker 1: to mindset, resilience and purpose. All right, as my voice goes,
- 1:02Speaker 1: just a little bit about you before we get going, Michael,
- 1:05Speaker 1: share with the listeners where you're from originally and where
- 1:07Speaker 1: you are currently.
- 1:09Speaker 2: Well. First off, thank you for having me.
- 1:11Speaker 3: You've created an incredibly valuable space for those of us
- 1:14Speaker 3: who want to learn and grow from our trauma.
- 1:16Speaker 2: Trauma.
- 1:17Speaker 3: So I really appreciate you and employed you for that.
- 1:21Speaker 3: I am originally from New York, born and raised, born
- 1:25Speaker 3: in the Bronx, raised on Long Island, and I now
- 1:29Speaker 3: I'm speaking to you from my home in New Jersey.
- 1:32Speaker 3: I split time between New Jersey and Naples, Florida.
- 1:36Speaker 1: Awesome. Awesome. I'm born in New York as well.
- 1:40Speaker 2: Appreciate that. Yeah, I lived on Long Island.
- 1:43Speaker 1: Awesome. All right, So let's start. How the hell did
- 1:48Speaker 1: you get into this field? How did this start for you?
- 1:50Speaker 3: Well, you know, I never set out to become a
- 1:53Speaker 3: mindset coach, let alone someone who helps people grow through
- 1:57Speaker 3: their trauma. My path start art in the fitness world
- 2:01Speaker 3: as a personal trainer, earning twelve bucks a session at
- 2:06Speaker 3: a small mom and pop studio, and that was in
- 2:09Speaker 3: nineteen ninety four, and within a year I became the
- 2:13Speaker 3: head trainer, and three years later I bought the business Wow,
- 2:17Speaker 3: And eventually I opened New York Personal Training in Manhattan,
- 2:22Speaker 3: which was my masterpiece.
- 2:24Speaker 2: It was a fifth Avenue facility.
- 2:26Speaker 3: I had forty five trainers, physical therapy, chiropolcitic and a
- 2:31Speaker 3: client roster that read like the who's who of Manhattan elite.
- 2:37Speaker 3: And from the outside, everything about me screamed success. But
- 2:43Speaker 3: inside I was still carrying trauma that I had never addressed.
- 2:47Speaker 3: And that inner work started after a devastating breakup where
- 2:52Speaker 3: I went through betrayal, heartbreak, and even losing my home.
- 2:57Speaker 1: Well, let me pause you for a second. How old
- 2:59Speaker 1: are you with this we're talking about here?
- 3:01Speaker 2: Now?
- 3:02Speaker 3: I was forty at that time during that breakup, okay,
- 3:07Speaker 3: and so suddenly I'm a father trying to hold it
- 3:13Speaker 3: together for my kids, when while I'm falling apart inside
- 3:18Speaker 3: and it hit me that I had spent a life
- 3:21Speaker 3: building physical strength, but I didn't have the tools for
- 3:25Speaker 3: emotional recovery. And that's especially disorienting when your entire identity
- 3:33Speaker 3: is built on being the strong one. I was a
- 3:36Speaker 3: personal trainer, I was a competitive bodybuilder, a triathlete, a
- 3:39Speaker 3: multai fighter, and I was breaking down. And that moment
- 3:44Speaker 3: put me on a different path, not sets and reps,
- 3:48Speaker 3: but emotional clarity, structure, and reflection. And that's where the
- 3:54Speaker 3: real coaching started. And if I'm honest, the roots of
- 3:59Speaker 3: the work actually started much earlier, because I grew up
- 4:04Speaker 3: in a household where love.
- 4:05Speaker 2: And trauma co existed.
- 4:08Speaker 3: My parents absolutely loved us, but they had their own demons,
- 4:13Speaker 3: which meant I lived through domestic violence and psychological manipulation.
- 4:19Speaker 3: One minute life was normal, the next it exploded into chaos,
- 4:23Speaker 3: my dad's rage, my mom's control, and me stepping in
- 4:27Speaker 3: to protect my mom and sister. And that's where the
- 4:31Speaker 3: hero complex became part of my wiring. And then later
- 4:36Speaker 3: watching my daughter, who is a brilliant Ivy League at
- 4:41Speaker 3: the time, was a brilliant IVY League student struggling with
- 4:45Speaker 3: crippling anxiety during her college years, and that changed everything
- 4:50Speaker 3: for me. We'd spend entire days on FaceTime just to
- 4:54Speaker 3: get her out of bed, and it taught me how
- 4:58Speaker 3: to meet someone exactly where they are. It wasn't about
- 5:02Speaker 3: giving advice, it was about presence, and that lesson became
- 5:09Speaker 3: the foundation of how I coach today.
- 5:12Speaker 1: Let me just stop a second. First of all, I
- 5:14Speaker 1: want to thank you for sharing that. I mean, that's intense, Yeah,
- 5:20Speaker 1: I mean it's it's just to hear you sharing all
- 5:22Speaker 1: that is very intense, and it was very interesting to
- 5:26Speaker 1: hear you talk about your your business and yourself and
- 5:36Speaker 1: the external world of how you were kind of armoring
- 5:38Speaker 1: yourself and then go back to talk about your family
- 5:44Speaker 1: and that groundwork that.
- 5:46Speaker 2: Was laid there.
- 5:49Speaker 1: I really appreciate you sharing that when you you just
- 5:54Speaker 1: talked about your daughter and kind of meeting her where
- 5:56Speaker 1: they're at. At what point were you when that was happening.
- 6:02Speaker 1: Was that after your own breakup?
- 6:04Speaker 2: Yes?
- 6:04Speaker 3: Yes, okay, that was probably ten years later, okay, ten
- 6:09Speaker 3: twelve years later?
- 6:10Speaker 2: Yeah, okay?
- 6:12Speaker 1: Was this shift and I realized not everything is just
- 6:15Speaker 1: happens in a second. But was this shift for you
- 6:21Speaker 1: from the external world in a sense, I'm being very
- 6:26Speaker 1: simplistic here to understanding that you needed to do some
- 6:29Speaker 1: inner work? Was Was that a hard for you? Was
- 6:32Speaker 1: that a challenge for you? Was just like Jesus, something
- 6:35Speaker 1: needs to be done? Talk about that?
- 6:38Speaker 2: Yeah? You know it?
- 6:39Speaker 3: Actually, you know, once once I worked through the initial
- 6:46Speaker 3: shock of losing the relationship I was in and the
- 6:53Speaker 3: reality of the betrayal in that relationship, and you know,
- 6:57Speaker 3: when you have a business and when you have children
- 7:00Speaker 3: and you don't have time to sit and lick your wounds,
- 7:03Speaker 3: you have to figure out what's next. But I've always
- 7:07Speaker 3: been a very introspective person, and I love to learn.
- 7:12Speaker 3: So it just became a new mission of why am
- 7:19Speaker 3: I here? How did I end up here? I had
- 7:21Speaker 3: seemingly done everything right? How do I end up here?
- 7:26Speaker 3: And coming from a background, especially a bodybuilding where you
- 7:32Speaker 3: learn how to make incremental gains, you know, you work
- 7:37Speaker 3: at something, you reach a limit, and then you make
- 7:40Speaker 3: and you use that experience to make a gain, I
- 7:42Speaker 3: kind of approached it the same way, and I said, well,
- 7:46Speaker 3: let me just as I did when I was a
- 7:49Speaker 3: beginner in the gym, starting from the very beginning. Let
- 7:51Speaker 3: me go back to the beginning and understand where I
- 7:55Speaker 3: come from, who I am, who I have been. And
- 7:59Speaker 3: that led to examining belief systems and where belief systems
- 8:03Speaker 3: come from, and does my belief am I stuck in
- 8:06Speaker 3: a belief system built from trauma? And do those beliefs
- 8:13Speaker 3: serve me now?
- 8:14Speaker 1: And now did this involve like therapy traditional therapy?
- 8:19Speaker 2: This was all me, This was all you, Okay.
- 8:23Speaker 1: So what were your beliefs at that point?
- 8:25Speaker 2: Well?
- 8:26Speaker 3: So what I learned was that my beliefs were built
- 8:30Speaker 3: from that initial childhood trauma of living in a household
- 8:34Speaker 3: with domestic violence and having a hero complex right, and
- 8:40Speaker 3: and that belief system served me very well during my
- 8:45Speaker 3: childhood and even in my early adulthood in taking on
- 8:50Speaker 3: the responsibility of building a business and what have you.
- 8:53Speaker 3: But many of the beliefs in that belief system will
- 8:59Speaker 3: keeping me stuck there and putting out an energy that
- 9:05Speaker 3: kept bringing back the same type of result in a cycle,
- 9:09Speaker 3: which is what happens with belief systems and with trauma.
- 9:12Speaker 3: Until you go back and reconcile that trauma, you use
- 9:16Speaker 3: your adult eyes and you walk hand in hand with
- 9:19Speaker 3: your childhood self and you you look at you look
- 9:23Speaker 3: at the trauma and how you responded to it with mature, educated,
- 9:29Speaker 3: adult eyes, which is what I do when I walk
- 9:31Speaker 3: hand in hand with my clients and and we reconcile
- 9:35Speaker 3: with that drama. We tell our childho self, it's okay.
- 9:39Speaker 3: You know, it wasn't your fault. You did what you
- 9:41Speaker 3: had to do. But and we thank the beliefs that
- 9:44Speaker 3: got us to where we are. But if they're no
- 9:46Speaker 3: longer useful to us, we thank them with love when
- 9:49Speaker 3: we say goodbye.
- 9:51Speaker 1: It's so it's so inspiring to talk to you, because
- 9:54Speaker 1: you know it's it's I learned a little bit about
- 9:59Speaker 1: you for this. I read your bio, read look at
- 10:03Speaker 1: your website, but it's so much interesting, more interesting to
- 10:10Speaker 1: hear you talk and walk through this process. I mean,
- 10:13Speaker 1: you've obviously been through a lot and done your own
- 10:18Speaker 1: inner work, and I find it very inspiring. So how
- 10:26Speaker 1: did what did you want to do with this new
- 10:31Speaker 1: what power that you had? In a sense, it's awareness
- 10:35Speaker 1: that you had.
- 10:36Speaker 2: Sure, So.
- 10:38Speaker 3: There are many factors in that answer. What happened as
- 10:44Speaker 3: I went through my own rebirth reawakening is I started
- 10:51Speaker 3: a new relationship and I met my wife, who I've
- 10:55Speaker 3: been married to now for fifteen years. And it dawned
- 10:59Speaker 3: on me, you know, waking up one day that I
- 11:03Speaker 3: have the most incredible life now, Like I I my
- 11:08Speaker 3: life is filled with like laughter and joy and happiness
- 11:13Speaker 3: and and the self sacrifice and just rewarding and I
- 11:20Speaker 3: know how I got here. So I now want to
- 11:23Speaker 3: share this with other people and help them attain the
- 11:25Speaker 3: same thing. And so I repeat your question. So I
- 11:32Speaker 3: answered exactly.
- 11:34Speaker 1: My question was what did I mean you you're talking
- 11:38Speaker 1: about you use the word rebirth. I said, there's obviously
- 11:43Speaker 1: a new awareness that you gained from all these different
- 11:46Speaker 1: experiences you had. What did you want to do with it?
- 11:49Speaker 1: What was that process? Obviously you started this new business.
- 11:52Speaker 3: Right right, so right, So what I wanted to do
- 11:57Speaker 3: was my definition of a true OUTFA is someone who's always.
- 12:01Speaker 2: Learning and always teaching.
- 12:03Speaker 3: So that I went through this incredible journey and I
- 12:07Speaker 3: was able to really learn this process, I wanted to
- 12:11Speaker 3: share that with as many people as possible, so I
- 12:15Speaker 3: created the you know, my Mindset coaching business, which is twofold.
- 12:23Speaker 3: I work one on one with clients, and I then
- 12:26Speaker 3: also created this library where because I recognized that not
- 12:32Speaker 3: everybody can afford to work with a coach, which is
- 12:37Speaker 3: something I went through in my fitness and personal training
- 12:40Speaker 3: career as well. It's great, you know, and it's great
- 12:43Speaker 3: because as a business person, you work with very high level,
- 12:46Speaker 3: successful people, but there are many people there who need
- 12:50Speaker 3: your services as well but cannot afford it. So I
- 12:53Speaker 3: created this library where literally just about everybody could access
- 12:59Speaker 3: all of these lessons and go through it on their
- 13:01Speaker 3: at their own pace.
- 13:03Speaker 1: No, just just to be clear here, so this library
- 13:06Speaker 1: is we are the video lessons.
- 13:09Speaker 2: This is this is an online.
- 13:13Speaker 3: An online collection of coaching lessons, hundreds and hundreds of
- 13:18Speaker 3: coaching lessons that I add to every day under every
- 13:23Speaker 3: possible topic from grief to mindset to goals to you
- 13:28Speaker 3: name it, emotional intelligence.
- 13:30Speaker 2: Et cetera.
- 13:31Speaker 3: Where for each each lesson, I give a video introduction
- 13:36Speaker 3: and then there's a downloadable lesson and that you you
- 13:39Speaker 3: work through on your own.
- 13:43Speaker 1: Has has this change? I mean you obviously you're you're
- 13:49Speaker 1: you're you're describing a journey. You're describing a change from
- 13:53Speaker 1: some from one person who was you know, muay Thai
- 13:59Speaker 1: body building to someone else. Obviously there are different parts
- 14:03Speaker 1: of you, but I'm just it's a very interesting journey
- 14:07Speaker 1: you're talking about. Sure, do you sometimes look at yourself
- 14:13Speaker 1: and say, how the hell did I get here? Or
- 14:17Speaker 1: how did this other part of me? Where was it
- 14:20Speaker 1: all this time? It's just it's very interesting.
- 14:23Speaker 2: You know, I really don't, because.
- 14:28Speaker 3: I was very present in my evolution, so.
- 14:34Speaker 2: I remember.
- 14:37Speaker 3: How I was feeling and where I was at all
- 14:39Speaker 3: points in time. So it's not surprising to me. I
- 14:44Speaker 3: do go back and say and tell myself, I didn't
- 14:48Speaker 3: even know this level of love and joy and happiness existed.
- 14:56Speaker 3: Because we're so conditioned to set our sits on financial security,
- 15:03Speaker 3: material objects. Oh you know, as a kid growing up,
- 15:07Speaker 3: when we didn't have any money, I would sit on
- 15:10Speaker 3: a corner and I would look at all the cars
- 15:11Speaker 3: that would stop at a traffic light and be like, Oh,
- 15:13Speaker 3: I wish I could have that car. I'd be happy
- 15:15Speaker 3: with that Car'd be happy with that car. So you know,
- 15:18Speaker 3: you look at the house you want, and you look
- 15:20Speaker 3: at the car that you want. You think, if I
- 15:22Speaker 3: get those things, i am on the vacation I want.
- 15:25Speaker 3: That's happy. And I got those things, and then it
- 15:29Speaker 3: all blew up in my face. So I still have
- 15:32Speaker 3: those things now. But now no matter where I am,
- 15:40Speaker 3: no matter what I'm doing, no matter what car, it
- 15:43Speaker 3: doesn't matter. I have this internal satisfaction and my life
- 15:48Speaker 3: is so rewarding coming from everywhere because I'm living this
- 15:54Speaker 3: life where I know who I am. I've declared who
- 15:57Speaker 3: I am and you could see it. I wear it
- 15:58Speaker 3: around my neck.
- 16:00Speaker 1: What is it I see I am?
- 16:02Speaker 2: What is it so so I am?
- 16:06Speaker 3: Is something that I teach that is called your I
- 16:09Speaker 3: Am declaration, So you it's it's a set of for me,
- 16:15Speaker 3: probably a dozen statements declaring to the world who I
- 16:20Speaker 3: am and which allow knowing that allows me to hone
- 16:25Speaker 3: in on my core values and live in alignment with
- 16:30Speaker 3: that I AM declaration and those core values.
- 16:32Speaker 2: And if everything I.
- 16:33Speaker 3: Do is in pursuit of those values and that declaration,
- 16:38Speaker 3: then then I'm living a life in alignment with my
- 16:41Speaker 3: true self and I can't be anything but happy.
- 16:46Speaker 1: It's so easy to feel like we are living in alignment,
- 16:52Speaker 1: when in fact, oftentimes a lot of us aren't. A
- 16:56Speaker 1: lot of times, if someone was to ask, you know,
- 16:59Speaker 1: one what their beliefs are and like, oh, I guess
- 17:02Speaker 1: I believe in being healthy while I'm meeting my Krispy
- 17:07Speaker 1: Green Donuts.
- 17:08Speaker 3: And do you know how many people I've asked what
- 17:11Speaker 3: their core values are and one of their core values
- 17:15Speaker 3: will be autonomy and entrepreneurship, and they're stuck in a
- 17:20Speaker 3: nine to five job they hate, or a corporate job
- 17:23Speaker 3: that they hate. And I'm like, well, you're not living
- 17:25Speaker 3: in alignment with your values. But I can't give.
- 17:27Speaker 2: Up my job. It feeds my family, it feeds my
- 17:30Speaker 2: you know what I mean, It's who I am.
- 17:33Speaker 3: But you're not ever going to be happy because you're
- 17:36Speaker 3: not living in alignment with your core values. It's I say.
- 17:41Speaker 3: I always use the airplane example. When you go on
- 17:44Speaker 3: an airplane and they're describing the safety to you. They
- 17:48Speaker 3: always tell you put your mask on first so you
- 17:50Speaker 3: can take care of whoever's next to you. You have
- 17:53Speaker 3: to take care of yourself first.
- 17:55Speaker 2: You have to learn. You have to determine what those
- 17:59Speaker 2: values are. Those handful of values.
- 18:01Speaker 3: Is it love, knowledge, empathy, security, humor? Those would be
- 18:08Speaker 3: mine easy.
- 18:11Speaker 2: I know then I live in pursuit of.
- 18:15Speaker 3: Them, and I can guarantee you anytime I'm feeling out
- 18:21Speaker 3: of sorts, something is not in alignment with that, I'm
- 18:25Speaker 3: acting out of integrity. It's called I'm not in integrity
- 18:30Speaker 3: or alignment with my values.
- 18:32Speaker 1: It feels to me like a lot of our culture
- 18:36Speaker 1: here in America is built upon kind of the antithesis
- 18:41Speaker 1: of those values. A lot of we get caught up
- 18:44Speaker 1: in this, just like you were describing, you know, what
- 18:47Speaker 1: should I have, what should I be, when in fact,
- 18:53Speaker 1: many of us don't even know what our values are
- 18:56Speaker 1: or belief systems are. They've just come they've by osmosis,
- 19:01Speaker 1: we've adopted them.
- 19:04Speaker 3: Well, I hate to sound like like like the old man,
- 19:09Speaker 3: but when you spend your your the majority of your
- 19:14Speaker 3: time scrolling on your feed looking at the highlight wheel
- 19:17Speaker 3: of other people's lives and comparing your everyday life to
- 19:21Speaker 3: their highlight reel and comparison is the thief of joy.
- 19:26Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
- 19:28Speaker 2: Ha ha. You know it.
- 19:31Speaker 3: It's a destruction and it's a of of yourself and
- 19:37Speaker 3: it creates a false belief system or it or it
- 19:42Speaker 3: emboldens your false belief system or reaffirms it.
- 19:50Speaker 1: Who do you work with?
- 19:53Speaker 3: So I work with? I mean there are segm There
- 19:57Speaker 3: are segments of people I work with. Anyone who feels stuck,
- 20:05Speaker 3: anyone who's usually tends to be a high performing person
- 20:11Speaker 3: but yet feels unfulfilled. And that comes in many shapes
- 20:18Speaker 3: and forms. It can come in the form of a
- 20:23Speaker 3: man in his forties who is successful in his career
- 20:29Speaker 3: but just cannot make his relationship work and is feeling
- 20:34Speaker 3: stuck there because he feels the responsibility for his family
- 20:38Speaker 3: and his children, but he's just not happy and he
- 20:40Speaker 3: cannot or a woman in a similar situation, or as
- 20:44Speaker 3: I mentioned before, somebody who is in their corporate job
- 20:48Speaker 3: and just is always feeling out of place and feeling
- 20:54Speaker 3: like they're pressing their nose against the window of life
- 20:58Speaker 3: because they actually have an entrepreneurial spirit and want to
- 21:01Speaker 3: be doing something else on their own. It's it all
- 21:05Speaker 3: always leads back to the same place of have you
- 21:08Speaker 3: addressed your trauma? What are your belief systems? We need
- 21:14Speaker 3: we need to examine those belief systems so we can
- 21:16Speaker 3: come out at the end of the day with a
- 21:18Speaker 3: group of beliefs that do serve you. So you can
- 21:21Speaker 3: declare to the world who I am, and you can
- 21:25Speaker 3: tell me with absolute certainty what your values are, and
- 21:30Speaker 3: then we can work on Well, that's simple. This you want,
- 21:33Speaker 3: you are, this, you value that. We're going to take
- 21:36Speaker 3: these steps so you can those two can be in
- 21:40Speaker 3: alignment and you will be happy and everyone around you
- 21:45Speaker 3: will be happier because you are serving them better because
- 21:48Speaker 3: you're you've served yourself.
- 21:52Speaker 1: That's that sounds very easy to do. It's not easy
- 21:57Speaker 1: to do. I mean, it sounds very clear or you
- 21:59Speaker 1: just said, but I could just imagine. I know, it's
- 22:02Speaker 1: not easy to do.
- 22:04Speaker 2: It's not easy.
- 22:06Speaker 3: It's like anything else, you know what, Getting on stage
- 22:10Speaker 3: in a banana hammock and posing it in front of
- 22:12Speaker 3: thousands of people as a bodybuilder isn't an easy thing
- 22:14Speaker 3: to do either, right, Okay?
- 22:16Speaker 2: And if you are someone who.
- 22:21Speaker 3: Does not have a bodybuilder build, but you decide you
- 22:25Speaker 3: want to do that, that's a huge undertaking. That's a
- 22:29Speaker 3: multi year undertaking of weight training, conditioning, dieting.
- 22:35Speaker 2: You know.
- 22:36Speaker 3: So if you look at it, that's an impossible road.
- 22:39Speaker 2: I can't do that.
- 22:41Speaker 3: But if you determined that that is your path and
- 22:46Speaker 3: you take the first step, like I told you earlier,
- 22:50Speaker 3: it's just a progression. You're just constantly building on your
- 22:55Speaker 3: on your previous little tiny success, whatever that may be,
- 22:59Speaker 3: And every single journey is the same way.
- 23:04Speaker 2: You need the.
- 23:04Speaker 3: Tools that allow you to take the first step and
- 23:08Speaker 3: to recognize your success in that step and build on it.
- 23:13Speaker 2: And listen.
- 23:16Speaker 3: I'm going to keep with the bodybuilding example just because
- 23:18Speaker 3: it's simple, but we could apply it to anything. The
- 23:20Speaker 3: pinnacle of being a bodybuilder would be winning Mister Universe.
- 23:24Speaker 2: Okay.
- 23:26Speaker 3: I graduated high school. I was one hundred and twenty pounds.
- 23:30Speaker 3: I was never going to be mister Universe.
- 23:32Speaker 2: Okay, but.
- 23:35Speaker 3: I did land somewhere between one hundred and twenty pounds
- 23:38Speaker 3: in Mister Universe. I did compete on stage. I did
- 23:44Speaker 3: realize this incredible goal of literally rechanging my reforming my
- 23:49Speaker 3: physical self, which was what gave me the confidence to
- 23:54Speaker 3: reform my psychological self. It was the same journey, just
- 23:58Speaker 3: a different goal. And every journey is like that. You know,
- 24:04Speaker 3: they say shoot for the stars. If you land on
- 24:07Speaker 3: the moon, you know you still travel twenty something thousand
- 24:11Speaker 3: miles or however many miles that is, And it's a
- 24:14Speaker 3: lot better than standing in the same place you wear
- 24:16Speaker 3: on the ground.
- 24:18Speaker 1: What do you think, Michael, gives you the I mean,
- 24:23Speaker 1: I can hear it for me. I think I know
- 24:25Speaker 1: the answer, but I want to hear you articulated. What
- 24:29Speaker 1: do you think gives you the ability to do this work.
- 24:35Speaker 3: To do the work of coaching. Well, it's my lift experience. Okay,
- 24:43Speaker 3: I didn't learn this through textbooks. I learned all of
- 24:47Speaker 3: this through lift experience, through breaking down, rebuilding and learning
- 24:52Speaker 3: how to truly meet people where they are and help
- 24:55Speaker 3: them move forward.
- 24:56Speaker 1: How did you learn that, because that's not an easy
- 24:59Speaker 1: thing to do, even for trained therapists.
- 25:03Speaker 3: Well, you know, you don't come right out of the
- 25:06Speaker 3: box now and everything. There's a lot of trial and error,
- 25:11Speaker 3: and so you know how most coaches or therapists they jump,
- 25:16Speaker 3: They jumped straight into solving the problem. Okay, they've got
- 25:20Speaker 3: the blueprint, they have the system, they have the five
- 25:23Speaker 3: step strategy, and they assume if you just follow the formula,
- 25:28Speaker 3: everything will fall into place. Well, what I do is
- 25:33Speaker 3: I start by learning who you are before we ever
- 25:36Speaker 3: talk about where you're going. And that I learned from
- 25:42Speaker 3: making mistakes in my earlier in my career. You know,
- 25:47Speaker 3: I would make the mistake of assuming that the tools
- 25:49Speaker 3: were enough, whether it was fitness, mindset, or performance. I
- 25:54Speaker 3: had the science, I had the structure, but I didn't
- 25:57Speaker 3: yet have the sensitivity, and so I wasn't asking what
- 26:01Speaker 3: brought you here? What beliefs are shaping your behavior? What
- 26:05Speaker 3: pain are you still trying to protect yourself from? So
- 26:10Speaker 3: I was offering strategy without understanding, which is structure without safety.
- 26:16Speaker 3: And when someone has unresolved trauma that that doesn't create change,
- 26:21Speaker 3: it creates resistance. So now my coaching starts with curiosity,
- 26:27Speaker 3: not certainty. I don't assume your readiness or resilience. I
- 26:33Speaker 3: learned your emotional landscape first, so we can build something
- 26:38Speaker 3: that not only creates a better future, but it gently
- 26:42Speaker 3: repairs your past. And that shift, didn't you know, It
- 26:48Speaker 3: made me a better coach, but it also made me
- 26:50Speaker 3: a more present, grounded and compassionate human being.
- 26:55Speaker 1: Well, I love that I could imagine that people come
- 27:01Speaker 1: to you with this idea of you know, they want
- 27:05Speaker 1: to get motivated, and they want to get inspired, and
- 27:08Speaker 1: and at some point they're like, what I got to
- 27:12Speaker 1: do with my trauma?
- 27:16Speaker 2: Yeah? True, And.
- 27:19Speaker 3: I'm not I'm not here to motivate, Okay. I'm here
- 27:23Speaker 3: to connect you. I'm here to take a journey with you.
- 27:28Speaker 3: I'm here to meet you where. I'm here to meet
- 27:30Speaker 3: you where you are, learn where you want to be,
- 27:34Speaker 3: revisit where you've been, and and and rebuild. I'm not
- 27:39Speaker 3: here to be a cheerleader.
- 27:43Speaker 1: Michael. What's the best way for people to learn more
- 27:46Speaker 1: about what you're doing?
- 27:49Speaker 3: Well, you can always go to go to my website,
- 27:51Speaker 3: Michael shawmindset dot com. But you can also I also
- 28:03Speaker 3: visit my visit my instagram. But you know, I wanna
- 28:10Speaker 3: tell people that I anyone who's listening. If if you
- 28:16Speaker 3: feel like you've hit your breaking point, just know this,
- 28:20Speaker 3: You're not broken.
- 28:22Speaker 2: You're carrying.
- 28:23Speaker 3: You're just carrying more than your system was designed to
- 28:26Speaker 3: carry alone. And strength doesn't come from pretending. It comes
- 28:32Speaker 3: from being witnessed, supported and challenged with love. And that's
- 28:36Speaker 3: what I do, not as a therapist, but as a
- 28:38Speaker 3: guide to revisit what you ask me before, and someone
- 28:43Speaker 3: some just someone who sees you, honors where you've been,
- 28:47Speaker 3: and walks besides you as you bi as you build
- 28:50Speaker 3: who you're becoming. And if this resonates, if you're feeling stuck,
- 28:55Speaker 3: if you're feeling overwhelmed, or you're just ready for more
- 28:58Speaker 3: purpose and clarity, then and the coaching that I've developed
- 29:02Speaker 3: was built for you.
- 29:05Speaker 2: So if you want to find out.
- 29:06Speaker 3: More about me or how to work with me, I
- 29:09Speaker 3: have created something as a thank you for listening and
- 29:14Speaker 3: guide to you for creating the space and sharing.
- 29:16Speaker 2: It with the world.
- 29:18Speaker 3: I have two very powerful tools that I usually reserve
- 29:23Speaker 3: for my private clients that I want to give to everybody.
- 29:27Speaker 3: And first is a free Mindset Mastery Breakthrough session, which
- 29:33Speaker 3: is sixty minute deep dive with me where we uncover
- 29:37Speaker 3: what's holding you back and we create a plan to
- 29:40Speaker 3: move you forward with confidence. And the second is I
- 29:44Speaker 3: want to give you twenty percent off of a full year,
- 29:48Speaker 3: full year's access to the Mastery Mindset training library. And
- 29:53Speaker 3: as I said, it's constantly updated resource. It's packed with
- 29:56Speaker 3: practical and empowering workshops that you can you and set
- 30:00Speaker 3: your own pace and to claim both either or both.
- 30:06Speaker 3: Just DM me the word mastery and okay, m A
- 30:09Speaker 3: S T e r y Mastery at my Instagram which
- 30:12Speaker 3: is at Michael Shaw dot mindset m I C h
- 30:15Speaker 3: a E L s h A W dot m I
- 30:18Speaker 3: N D s E T so go to Michael Shore mindset,
- 30:21Speaker 3: send the word mastery and I'll personally send everything over
- 30:25Speaker 3: to you.
- 30:26Speaker 1: Awesome. I appreciate that, Michael. We'll have that all that
- 30:28Speaker 1: linked up here at the show notes page at the
- 30:30Speaker 1: Trauma Therapist podcast dot com. Uh, Michael, I know you
- 30:34Speaker 1: say you don't want to motivate, but you're certainly freakin
- 30:37Speaker 1: inspiring and you're welcome back here anytime.
- 30:40Speaker 3: Ed Oh, I thank you so much. The spaceship created
- 30:43Speaker 3: is amazing. I love talking to you.
- 30:45Speaker 1: All right, we'll be in touch
- 30:46Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, take care, bye bye