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816. The Science of Kindness: How Small Actions Create Big Impact · Daily Influence

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IA Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and share Daily Influence with someone who could use a little extra positivity today.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And make us part of your Daily routine, whether it's during your commute, on a walk, or an quiet momentous for you, because you're influenced matters.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence, I'm Greg Kalino.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Before we dive in, I want to share a quick note.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: We recently launched the Smart Advantage newsletter, which offers practical insights on leadership, accountability, workplace culture, and building a stronger business delivered to your inbox weekly.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're looking for simple, actionable ideas, you can apply in your business or leadership role, you can find the link to subscribe in the show notes below.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And now let's move into today's conversation, where we'll continue exploring the ideas, actions and influence that helps us lead and live with greater influence.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Today's guest is Jacqueline Lindsay, co-founder and CEO of Kindness.org, a global nonprofit advancing the science of kindness and turning research into practical solutions for schools, workplaces, and communities.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Under Jacqueline's leadership, Kindness.org has created evidence-based programs that have reached more than 500,000 students worldwide.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Her work challenges the idea that kindness is simply a pleasant personal quality.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Instead, she demonstrates how intentional kindness can strengthen trust, deep in human connection, improve organizational culture, and produce measurable results.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Jacqueline is also an author, keynote speaker, and host of The Why Kindness Podcasts.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Today we will explore what it takes to turn kindness from a good intention into a deliberate leadership practice and how each of us can use it to influence the people and communities around us more responsibly.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Jacqueline, welcome to Daily Influence.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks, Greg, so happy to be with you.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Jack, before kindness.org became a global organization, there was your own personal journey.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: What experiences most shaped your understanding of kindness not simply is something nice to offer, but is something capable of changing the direction of a person's life?
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'll start with the positive, which is a very much credit my parents for instilling,
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even have to use the word kindness as much as they showed through action how we treat all humans and how we serve and give and live basically.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: They just, there's so many examples I have of childhood and the way they raised me to think about others and being, being helpful.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: I also had unkindness happen and that was through experiences around bullying when I was
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that tension, this idea of what kindness can do to advance positivity, goodness, well being in our society, and then the paradox of what unkindness can do, especially to developing child and what I saw it due to me personally in my own mental health journey, I realized there was something really important around promoting kindness.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: by default helping to overcome unkindness.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Your story helps explain why this mission is so personal, I would like to move from what shaped you to what you have seen kindness make possible for others.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Through kindness.org, you have worked with students, leaders, organizations, and communities around the world.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is there one person classroom or community whose response made you stop and realize this work is creating an impact far beyond what we can immediately see?
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what did that experience teach you about the ripple effect of your influence?
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's so many examples, but what I'd like to share is actually right at the start of when we launched 10 years ago.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: We put a video out to the world
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the idea was a gentleman going around the city of London, asking strangers if he could help them with anything, and they didn't know that there was a camera watching him do this, but you got to see all these interactions and responses.
• 5:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: So anyone listening if you want to look for, we can maybe I don't know put in the show notes, but what happened is the video goes viral.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's viewed in over a hundred countries within the first hour.
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: It ends up being seen hundreds of millions of times.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we started receiving this outpouring of emails and forums to our website of just there's so many, too many stories to share.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: But that moment of receiving hundreds and hundreds of inbound stories of people telling us how just watching that one video and being reminded,
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: of humanity, of being sad and depressed and feeling uplifted, of being in a dark time and seeing how people can show up to do good.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: That was the reminder, we're on to something.
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it happened within the first day of launching.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: We turned our site on.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: We released this video.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: We launched some research.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: We kind of have this big multi-prone strategy.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And there was a lot that happened those first 24 hours, but those stories were the things that I said, okay, this is what it's for this is what it's about.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you have worked to support kindness with research and measurable outcomes.
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Many leaders say they value kindness, yet it can remain vague, inconsistent, or disappear when pressure increases.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: How can a leader or individual translate kindness into specific observable behaviors?
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so since the beginning, we've had to really overcome this narrative that kindness is fluffy, soft, weak, feminine, nebulous, intangible.
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a value.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's a lot of ideas of what kindness is, and that does make it really difficult for someone who might feel a bit skeptical to think about what it really means practically.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: What does the application of kindness really look like?
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then further more,
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: in the environment where you might need it to such as the workplace.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: So a few things, kindness and niceness are not the same thing.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Kindness is something where especially within business.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is evidence-based that it will improve your bottom line.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: It will improve retention, it will improve engagement.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: All of the things that most leaders care about.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: kindness will benefit you.
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: But beyond that, it is something that takes courage of a leader to do, and teams will respond to that, you know, your colleagues will respond to that.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: So when an individual struggling, I go to the simplest way we think about it, which is how we define kindness.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: We call it the ABCs of kindness.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Kindness is an action.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not a feeling.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, this idea that's in you, that's nebulus, it is a behavior, it's a choice, it's an action, it's intended to benefit so you are doing this in service of the person you're doing the act for and it typically costs something and why I reiterate that is because it takes our energy, it takes our willingness to do it, it can take our time, which is our greatest commodity, it can sometimes cost money even.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but that's what makes it so worthwhile.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so as you're thinking about what that looks like for you, just know any one of us can start with a tiny action and that will cause the ripple effect.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: and being intentional also means recognizing the kindness is not always easier comfortable.
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Kindness is sometimes confused with being agreeable, protecting people from discomfort or avoiding difficult conversations.
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do you distinguish responsible kindness from people pleasing or permissiveness?
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a time when the kindest decision required honesty boundaries or accountability?
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we actually have a really fun social series right now called kindness is not and you'll see post that say kindness is not being agreeable kindness is not people pleasing kindness is not niceness kindness is not letting go of your boundaries because I do think so much of this work is about reframing and almost rebranding people's perception and understanding of kindness.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do you distinguish it really easily?
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Kindness is niceness is not telling someone when they have food in their teeth.
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And kindness is telling them when they have food in their teeth.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I know it, you know, seems a little silly, but that is the illustration to everything.
• 9:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: It can be a little uncomfortable sometimes to choose kindness or to hold a boundary or to forgive or to not just agree because it seems like that's like the kind thing.
• 9:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Actually, it's being willing to challenge.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's asking hard questions.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's being curious.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And those are the things that I hope people will feel empowered in and separating this idea that nice and kind or the same thing or agreeable, you know, being agreeable and kind or the same thing.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's a great way to frame it and, you know, that distinction becomes especially important when we face resistance, setbacks, or situations where our intentions do not produce the outcome that we expected.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So building a global nonprofit around an idea that some people may initially dismiss as saw must have required persistence.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: What challenge?
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: mistake or failed initiative, most change the way that you lead kind of step or I think the challenge was that everyone thought I was crazy for doing this because it seemed really difficult to have a sense of impact and how do you take a virtue and turn it into a movement or into something that can change systems change people.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: So even from day one, my mountain was believing this was worthwhile.
• 11:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I felt it.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: I felt instinctually, this was the most important mission I could focus on, but it was really hard to overcome that.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And what I saw as an opportunity, both in the space of kindness, also became the area where we used it to overcome these challenges, which was leading with science and evidence.
• 11:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, 10, 11 years ago when I was even just starting to think about the work of kindness, kindness dot org as a non-profit and as a movement and a mission didn't exist yet.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was just interested in the ecosystem of kindness and I did a market analysis and I, you know, went on what I called a learning tour and met with really kind and generous researchers and scientists.
• 11:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: between science into applied solutions for a kind of world.
• 12:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not to say people weren't thinking about it or maybe even working on it in some way, but it didn't really seem that there was a mainstream group or organization that was really trying to combine science to solutions for a kind of world.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that not only became our way to quote unquote disrupt this space or to solve a pain point,
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it also became the way that we were able to show, oh, this isn't pointless.
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is truly worthwhile.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is meaningful.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is measurable, bringing measurement to kindness was something really that hadn't been done before.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we tried to set out to change that using evidence and using records.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we could show why this was so important for all areas of our lives.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one way you're helping people become more intentional is giving them tools to better understand how they practice kindness and kindness that org develop the kindness quotient or KQ to help people and organizations understand and strengthen their kindness for someone listening who wants to become more intentional what is a simple daily or weekly framework that they can use to assess their influence.
• 13:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: So start with your KQ, you can go to Kindness.org slash KQ slash, I think, technically, but it's on our site and you can take a KQ towards your neighbor or towards your coworkers.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And what this does at the end is not only give you your cake you, which is your score of how kind you are, but it gives you act recommendations to start nudging you through small behaviors that you can do to grow your kindness muscle.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: The ideas that kindness is never stagnant.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: We all have good days.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have bad days.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have days where it's hard to choose kindness.
• 13:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: but we can always wake up and keep doing it and keep trying and keep getting better at it.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so we're here to provide research back ways where we show you these are the acts that are most effective.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the micro actions you can do that are low energy, low effort where they have this kind of impact.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: So by bringing all of that to people, we hope it incentivizes them to see kindness a little differently with the KQ when it launched, which is about two years old now.
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: predicated on years of research that we did to try to understand how to measure kindness.
• 14:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we've now had people take the KQ from over 190 countries and they come in and share, you know, kindness is something we all can do no matter where you live and what language you speak.
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so it's this reminder that we all can use a little nudge no matter who we are to keep choosing kindness
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, we can.
• 14:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is for sure.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you've spent years helping others understand their capacity to influence the world through kindness, I would like to close by bringing that perspective back to your own journey and then to each person listening.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: So first is knowing what you know now.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: What would you tell your younger self about kindness, leadership and influence she was capable of having.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I.
• 15:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: lost who I was through, you know, meanness and bullying.
• 15:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I became someone I didn't like.
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I just wish I could go back and let her know kindness will always win, kindness will always win.
• 15:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's across everything still to this day, you know, I may not always get things right, but I always try to commit to choosing kindness and leading with kindness.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's never let me down and it's not always easy and I might not always end up on, you know, the right side of things in that or, you know, people don't like certain ways on doing it or think about it.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it's about staying true to yourself and I would encourage anyone who's listening anyone who's had tough times anyone who's spaced a bully anyone who's got a negative relationship in their life anyone who's struggling with this tension of what it really means to show with kindness one.
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: you can email us and we try to respond to every single message you're not alone and kind of school win.
• 16:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is great and for the person listening who believes their individual actions are too small to matter, what is one intentional act you would challenge them to take today?
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, one, I want you to know your act matters.
• 16:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: So this is going back to the science just very quickly, Greg, I have to say because this is part of where people struggle to understand, well, why
• 16:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: smiling at a stranger really matter.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Most people don't think about where we are today as a species in this way and even myself, it wasn't until I understood the science that I could really appreciate who we are as humans and how we got here.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: But we're here because of kindness, millions of years of working cooperatively.
• 17:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: working together has allowed us to flourish, has allowed us to be where we are and to make the progress we've had.
• 17:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And there's so many examples throughout history of the role kindness has played.
• 17:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And there's bad parts of history of course, but there's also the parts that we want to celebrate and remind ourselves the thread kindness has had throughout human history.
• 17:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so then today in a modern sense and modern context, you know, one act we know
• 17:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: is the most effective way to improve the well being of you and another person.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: There is actually nothing else you could do to boost your well being in the moment than a kind act, even the simplest one, which I'll give you some ideas and then a few other things.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: To share it's good for you physically it's good for stress and blood pressure and it can lower anxiety.
• 17:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And there's even new research that shows it's considered the most effective way to boost overall societal mental health and well-being.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we're really talking about a fair, very, very powerful tool and antidote to overcoming many modern problems we're facing.
• 18:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: So if you're still unsure, try one small thing, go out and smile at that stranger.
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: go check in on a neighbor and just let them know, you know, good morning.
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: I see you how are you.
• 18:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: You don't even have to say that just acknowledging them.
• 18:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And send a text message to someone to let them know you're thinking about them.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whoever's coming to your mind right now that is played a role in your life that has shown you kindness.
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Reach out and let them know.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I promise those things will go a very long way.
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: You may not even know the effect they will have, but I assure you they will be good for you and they will be good for their recipients.
• 18:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that is so true.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And thank you for sharing the science behind it, Jacqueline.
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's really important message to share.
• 18:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: If our listeners want to get in touch with you, what's the best way to do so?
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, you can email me.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to learn more, Jacqueline at kindness.org, you can also fill out a forum on our site, depending on what you're interested in.
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: We do work with schools, with workplaces, and there's different forms for what people are most interested in.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then engage with us on social,
• 19:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, we're always out there trying to highlight the goodness out in the world and, you know, especially work like you, that you're doing great, but anyone listening, I imagine you're our tribe so come engage with us, we'd love to hear from you and I just thank you for having me and getting to share more about this work.
• 19:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, Jacqueline, I'm so grateful for you and the wonderful work that you're doing.
• 19:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we will put all that information to show us for our listeners, Jacqueline, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your story and your advice and for all that you're doing to make this world a better place.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm truly grateful for you.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, Greg.
• 19:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: So happy I could be here.
• 19:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And to everyone listening, your influence is already reaching the people around you.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: The question is whether you are using it intentionally.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Before today ends, identify one person, one conversation, one situation where you could choose a more thoughtful and responsible response, and then act on it.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is how positive influence becomes more than an idea.
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It becomes something other than people can experience.
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for joining us.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Help us continue to spread the positivity by subscribing and sharing daily influence.
• 20:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Remember small actions create big impact.
• 20:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Keep showing up leading and growing one day to time.
• 20:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, stay inspired and keep having a positive responsible influence.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Bye bye.