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Becoming Your Parents · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mama's your mama's did
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: you turn into your parents? And if so, how well?
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Let's ask our American mama's Alma Mama and.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Joining us now are American mama's tern Edville and Kimberly Burlison.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: I'm nothing like either one of my pers You look like.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Your dad, you act like your dad.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I stand like my dad.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you walk like your dad.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: We have the same sense of humor.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: So that's a compliment to you.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: By the way, well, thank you very much. My dad's
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: pretty cool. You guys, did you turn into your parents?
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: If so, how well?
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: We were kind of talking about this this weekend. We
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: had all these people over at our house. We were saying,
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: is there something that your parents did that you said
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: you would never repeat, that you completely do repeat.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: So this is something you've turned into your parents, but
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: not in a way you wanted to.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: Yes, exactly that you thought you would. We were saying
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: that what we felt like was our mother said no
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: at every opportunity she possibly could. The answer was no
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: to everything we could just say, Mom, can we no?
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: That was her answer to everything, And what she thought
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: was there is no good that could come I would
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: know what was it? She said, you could be hurt
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: or something could happen to you if you do do
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: this one thing.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: But if we stay out after twelve.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: But if you don't, well, lots of things, but if
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: you don't do it, then nothing will happen. So in
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: her mind, just do nothing so nothing happens to you.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: It's like the old nfl adage that if you throw
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: the ball, there's three things that can happen. Two of
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: them are bad.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that was mom. That was mom's thinking. Her other
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: thing was, you know, because I said so. Because I
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: said so, that's endo story. Because I said so, a
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: lot of these things. We feel like we do the
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: same thing. I do the same thing because I don't
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: want an argument. I now realize we argued all the
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: time and my mom didn't want it. So it's because
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: I said so. And we asked my husband and my
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: head said, I had parents that gave me zero rules.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: I did wherever I wanted I did. He was a
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: full rerange range. He did his own thing. And he said,
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  Speaker 4: what I noticed about me and having parents like that
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: is I let you do the discipline. Yeah, and he said,
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: and that probably wasn't good. And that wasn't fair for you.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: But I never saw an example of it, and so
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: it was very hard for me. So I was more
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: a hand and I was like, yes, yes, you were
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: hands off. That was very frustrated.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: But he also said that he liked the boundaries that
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: they set because he was such a free range and
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: he knew what all could happen. It's kind of like
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: our kids now saying I will never let my kids
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: have phones at the age that y'all let us have phones,
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: you know, that kind of thing. But you know, Mom
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: said something to me one time, and I've already said
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: this to my own children. I was telling her, you know,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: I was a grown adult without children, telling her what
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I was going to do differently, like, you know, just
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: that it's that typical. I don't have kids, but I'm
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: gonna tell you what you need to do with children.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: And I said, I'm definitely the one thing that you
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: and dad did not do that I'm totally gonna do
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: with my children. You didn't let us talk, you didn't
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: let us explain ourselves. You would tell us just no,
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: that's it. I've made the decision that And she said, Terry,
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: she said, look, we're not the blueprint. Your dad and
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  Speaker 3: I did the best that we could with information that
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: we had, with the knowledge we had, with the wisdom
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: that we.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Had, the experience, with the experience.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: That we had, and so why don't you do this?
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  Speaker 3: Take the things that we did good that you liked,
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  Speaker 3: use that with your own children. Whatever you don't like,
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  Speaker 3: have at it. But I promise you this, You're going
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: to have a teenager or a young woman, our young
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: man come up to you, your children one day and
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  Speaker 3: say this is what I didn't like that you and
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: dad did. That I'm going to do different. And it's
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  Speaker 3: so true. And I'll say to my own children, look,
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  Speaker 3: Dad and I are not the blueprint. You just take
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  Speaker 3: those good things are repeated, and my children will be
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: saying the same thing to their children if we know better.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: Lindsay was telling us last night that her term the
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  Speaker 4: helicopter parent is you know her generation. She said to
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  Speaker 4: her son. Anytime she starts giving him any direction, he
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: does his hands up in the air like a swirling
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  Speaker 4: helicopter to let her know she's being a helicopter mom.
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  Speaker 3: And she's like, I don't care whatever.
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, our cousin said something interesting. She said that One
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  Speaker 4: of the best advice she got was to say yes
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  Speaker 4: as much as possible so that when you do say no,
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  Speaker 4: it means something because they're so And I thought, well,
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: that's really good. Maybe it worked for her and some people.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: The best part to that with regard to Kevin and me,
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  Speaker 3: we're so different, is that I could be the yes person,
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  Speaker 3: you know, I could be like the softer place to land.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: He was the leader of our family, so his nose
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  Speaker 3: were that's no unless in the back of our room,
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  Speaker 3: I was like, no, you're going to change that note
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  Speaker 3: to it yes. But when you have that combination, it
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  Speaker 3: really really does work.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: How did y'all do it? Where y'all like that? Were
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  Speaker 4: you a good bad copper? Both in line?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: It was it was always a united front. That was
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  Speaker 1: that was what we always were was it was united front.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: And I told my kids from from the beginning, I'm like,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I might think your mom's wrong, but I will never
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: let you know that. Yeah, so you're you're you're not
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: going to get the ask dad and that works, then
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: go ask mom. That's that's not And if I find
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: out you do it, you'll be in huge amounts of trouble.
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  Speaker 1: You're not going to get there's not going to be
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  Speaker 1: a square inch.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Uh.
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  Speaker 1: And and my biggest rule was you do not disrespect
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: your mother. Yes, and so we I mean those were
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: that's kind of how we we did that discipline stuff.
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  Speaker 1: But I think it was yeah, I don't think it
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: was everything just wait till your dad gets home. I
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: think we were both kind of hands on. I'm looking
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: at Win right now, nodding along. So we were as
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: as usual. We were always united from If you like
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: to ask our American Mama is a question, go to
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: our website American ground Radio dot com, slash Mama's and
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: click on the ass the Mama's button. Terry Nut Boo,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Kimberly Brother listen, Thank you so much