Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Playing hooky

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Playing hooky · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing. Here is another world famous
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: cranky from Darren Wackheads, something exclusive to KFM mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: All right, so there's this this boomerang flu whatever it
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: is that we just call it flu and we don't
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: really know. Okay, we're all sniffing along, we're all coughing
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: and spluttering, and it's going week after week after week,
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: and then you feel better and then here it comes.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Again, and then the cycle continues.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm on around two now for me. Read its
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: ugly head yesterday in fact, yeah, I.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Had your number twice. Hey, listen, you had a good run.
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: It had a couple of years of attacking and diving.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: But the thing is with this, it's not even like
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: that debilitating.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: It's just annoying, constant.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: It's just like all in the head in the face.
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: You know, just saying not debilitating, but also not if
• 0:59
  Speaker 5: you're But he does that now four times. At some point,
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: how much can the body take?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: At some point you must take sick leaf.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Sure, I don't even know how much sick leave we get.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: At some point you must take sick leave, Darren.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: But you have probably a month, we all have.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: We get thirty days in a three year cycle.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Thirty days in three years.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's not thirty per years.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: No, I've taken I've been at this company twenty three years,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: taken one day sickly per year, one in twenty three years.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, y one.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I took that because because look, I don't want to
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: be a I remember, like a hero.
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: No one's going to give you a medal for not
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: taking sick day, for not taking sickly.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: And that was because it was in the middle of COVID.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I got COVID and then I was still working through
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: COVID sweating.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, what a hero.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: And then I woke up the one morning voice not
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: all heroes capes and what a man? And I lost
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: my voice. I like, the first time I life, I'd
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: lost my voice.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: You had to sign yeah.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: And then yeah. Then I was asked for a sick note.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember you see, regardless.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Exactly, I'm like, one day in twenty three years, now
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: you're asking for a sick note.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: But also it's just how it works.
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: But also if nothing personal, HR just trying to do
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: a char job.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: But for you, it took your voice.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: So I was like, even.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: The government was like, you need to stay you were like, no,
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: I'm going to work.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I'm want to work until your voice was gone.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: So you know I can be stubborn. So I said
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: to them, well, if that's the case, I'm never taking
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: a sick day again.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: That'll show man.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: They're like, you're the employee is threading it to work.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I'm never putting you in a position where you can
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: ask me for a s.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Power for a you show.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Absolutely right, you're a tool bag Simmer. Okay, So I've
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: never actually physically had to call in sick because that
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: was COVID times. It wasn't even a manager, you know.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Man put some respect. Never was managing.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Everyone was doing no one was doing it.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: We were just doing whatever. We were doing.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Radio dramas, yes, hold on award winning radio dramas that
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: we won awards for.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: It's one of those things where you have to say
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: you had.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: To be there.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: I mean, Brad, I think you were the one who
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: introduced us to the or me to the what's for?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Donkin showldn careful this conversations we have offering ones on
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: that sounds even worse, but donkings on your private browns.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Everything in the accent that was.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: The fifties voice, Yeah, the fifties narrator. Okay, so listen,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I might bring it back. I don't know that.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Sounds something like you got it. It's it's it's safe
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: search stuff on Google. That's incognito search. Okay, so listen.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: So I've never heard it had a call in sick
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: at work. So now I'm going to call in sick
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: to a place that I don't actually work at that work,
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll see, Okay, I'm just gonna and
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: this places in Australian Coles Coles Superman, Big Superman. But
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: it's actually it's actually quite interesting when you call in
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: sick to a place that you don't work out. We'll
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: see how they handle it down under in Australia.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Mane, good morning, Hi, suit.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to say I'm not feeling so good today,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: and I'm not sure you're speaking to Jeff. I'm not
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: sure if it's something that I ate that's wanted you
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: passed the word on that I can't make it to
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: work today.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Where do you work there?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: By you, Sue, I'm just I'm a bit feeling a
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: bit dizzy and I've broken out in a bit of
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: a rash.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel department.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I feel a bit clammy as well.
• 5:41
  Speaker 6: Do you listening to me?
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I got a bit of a cough. I'm not
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: sure if it's a flu or if it's something more serious.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: What what what the department?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Are you in? Frozen produce in the dairy? Yeah? And
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: there's a bit of oozing coming out of my ear
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, so I really am sick.
• 6:02
  Speaker 7: All right, But I don't know you Jeffrey.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Just one moment, he's right here.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I help you, Hi, jeff I try to
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: say that I'm not feeling so good today and I
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: don't think i'll be able to come into work. What's
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: your name is, jeff I just I don't want you
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: to think that I'm trying to take a long weekend. Okay,
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: please don't think that about what you're working. How can
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: you ring?
• 6:28
  Speaker 8: I need to know what the departments you're working?
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: The ringing? I can replace your mate. I really, I
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: really am sick, boss man. What's your surname?
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: You can dock my pay at her mind.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: If I can assure you that you'll be your pay
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: will be.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Do young men?
• 6:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Department dairy? Do you Yeah? At what store? Yeah? At
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: your store at my store last shift work it was Saturday.
• 6:54
  Speaker 8: You worked on Saturday?
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was packing the milk and all that stuff.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: But do you think you guys are going to need
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: me today? Yeah? Yeah, I'm listening to you. You don't
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: work if you don't in the store, well, am I
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: being fired? Please don't find me, Jeff. I've got two
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: males to feed at home. I'm a single I'm a
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: single parent, and I don't believe. I don't think it's
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: it's it's good for me in my sickly state that I'm.
• 7:30
  Speaker 7: Just confused because I work seeing you.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Hopefully I'll be back.
• 7:35
  Speaker 8: Are you listening?
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Listening? You work easy on the four x mate, you're
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: not drinking mate, religion anyway, so.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: You won't be in that right.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But now, if there's anything urgent that you need
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: to get hold of me about, you can always just
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: call me on the home phone. Like if you're not
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: sure on the dates of the milk and stuff, just
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: give me a shout. What is your home phone? Mate?
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Six x two nine one three eighty seven.
• 8:02
  Speaker 8: No worries it all then, Jeff.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: And it's South Africa code. It's a South African code.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Isn't it.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're actually on a South African radio station
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: at the moment, is that right? Yeah, it's wacked Simpson. Yeah,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: and I just thought i'd call in sick to a
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: company that I don't work for. You, Right, you're a lunatic, mate.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: What was that accent?
• 8:26
  Speaker 7: That was?
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: That's a regional Australian accent from Darwin.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, very entertained.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Proved me wrong.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: You really don't know.
• 8:35
  Speaker 8: You immersed yourself in that role. That's oussy. It's a
• 8:41
  Speaker 8: Northern territory born and raised in the Art Bank, in
• 8:46
  Speaker 8: the Simpson Desert there.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: It's wilder and wilder as you went on.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know some people have perfected the art
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: of phoning in sick.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Eh So so what's what's the trick? How do you
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: do it?
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Well? Well, I don't know, I'm that was my first time.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Do you have something against those of us who not
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: at all in sick? Do you have an agenda?
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Imagine again that guy being your age.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'll be terrible today. Told me maybe here
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: on KF Morning's twenty five minutes after eight o'clock, this
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: man has perfected a technique. Apparently, how's it? Bred a
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: good morning?
• 9:36
  Speaker 6: Good morning there, and gee are you all doing good?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: And new bread?
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, Brad, what is your technique for calling in sick?
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Apparently this makes you actually sound sick. You don't even
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: have to put it on, eh, Brad?
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: Yes, yes, I'm guessing to that. And yeah, so what
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: I did or usually all not usually do, but I
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: did it quite a few times, but a lot. So
• 9:59
  Speaker 6: I lay on my deck on on the bed left
• 10:03
  Speaker 6: with my head laying down on ts and it will
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: sound like you're cuckling to breathe in your it's a
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: it's like you're started to breathe in. You start to
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: also automatically, so you make your sounds very sick. Yeah, yeah, okay.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: So you're back on the bed in your head dangling
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: upside down over the edge of the bed, and then
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: you make.
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: The yes yes, yes, yeah white the position.
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: Brad, How did you discover this technique?
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: I think I read it somewhere on.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: This is what we're teaching together, and and and so
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: you are undefeated in this position, so.
• 10:51
  Speaker 6: Far undefeated under confett.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Now I want to ask, so do you use it
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: when you're not sick.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: Do you just use it when you sick, but you
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: just want to sound more sick.
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: When I'm actually not chick, but I want to be.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when he's calling in a sick you know, and
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: straight of this sting is underfeated.
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: Understand underfeated. Sometimes you're not supposedly you just chick to
• 11:23
  Speaker 6: go to work.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Can you do an actual like reenactment for us? Bread?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Where are you now? You have the office.
• 11:32
  Speaker 6: Outside?
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Now k the pavement and put your head in the gutter.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: All right? Are you at work now? Or you far
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: from work?
• 11:47
  Speaker 6: I mean give you a break now?
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you can't show.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Them your yeah, okay, Bread, listen, we'll let you off lightly.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: You don't have to show it to us, all right,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: But thanks for people are banking that right now.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: For sharing your wisdom with us.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: And you know what, sometimes you just a personal day,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: It's yeah, like Brad said, I'm not sick, I'm just
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: work sick.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: All right, thanks Brad. But but but good to know
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Bread does at work today? All right? By maybe not
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: after the storm is all Blacks game on Monday? Joh
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: bye bye. We've got some messages here from the prank plenty.
• 12:32
  Speaker 7: People that think the sickly is annually, which as soon
• 12:39
  Speaker 7: as that six calendar kicks in for that three year,
• 12:42
  Speaker 7: you get the three days it's being used. Luckily, Bran Siner,
• 12:46
  Speaker 7: you can already tell somebody is coming in and rubbing
• 12:49
  Speaker 7: his stomach. You know he's going to be all sick
• 12:51
  Speaker 7: the next day and a day after that as well.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: That's someone who works in HR.
• 12:57
  Speaker 6: She knows.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: But I mean, I I a doctor's notice is fantastic
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: because they actually give you more time than you think
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: you need. You know, so you think, okay, I'm down
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: the street, maybe I'll take two days, but then they'll.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Be like, take the whole week. So doctors are also,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: you know, advising that we rest. We rest professionals.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Are advising that, you know, it's a good trick to do.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: And then how many of us actually take all of
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: the days.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: You know, what's a good trick to do. Go into
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: the office and tell everybody you're feeling terrible sick, I've
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: got a stomach bug, something that's contagious, and then give
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: it a day or two and wait to see how
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: many people because you got to broadcast it in the office. Guys,
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I got a stomach bug,