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Transcript

Love Bombing: The 4 Stages of the Narcissist's Trap · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Have you ever felt like you met your soul mate in the first
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  week, like the first week of getting to know somebody?
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  Like this is my soul mate. This is my twin flame.
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  We both hot, we burning each other.
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  Like this person was the only person on earth who truly got
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  you, who understood you from a like a cellular perspective,
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  right? You are not you like you weren't
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  in love. You are being love bombed.
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  You are getting a love bomb dropped on you.
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  And as a diagnosed self aware narcissist, I'm going to tell
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  you the truth. Love bombing isn't about how
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  much we like you. It really isn't.
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  It's about how much we need you to be addicted to us.
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  Like today I'm breaking down the four stages of the love bombing
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  phase so you can get so you can get off the hook before it
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  completely sets in. Yeah, tell me I ain't doing work
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  on these intros. Tell me I ain't working on them.
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  Tell me, tell me now. If you're new here, Lee Hammock
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  diagnosed narcissists. That helps people understand the
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  mind of narcissists. And let's hop right into it.
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  Y'all in 2026. Like we just don't like
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  narcissists. Just don't guess what you like.
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  We study you. We analyze you.
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  Guess what? Guess how, Lee?
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  How do you study us and analyze us if you don't know us?
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  I'm gonna give you one second to guess.
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  Instagram, TikTok, dating apps, your repost the things you like
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  and dislike online, like your comment history.
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  The stuff that you're commenting on lets us know exactly who you
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  are. And when we know who you are, we
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  can become what you want. We could become what you like.
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  We could become what everything you're looking for in a person,
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  right? So that's when you hop into
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  stage 1, mirroring, mirroring, holding a mirror up to you.
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  When you fall in love with us, really in reality, what you're
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  doing is you're falling in love with a different version of
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  yourself. You're falling in love with you,
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  right? Just think about like this, if
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  you like hiking, I'm suddenly going to be going to be an
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  outdoorsman. If you have trauma with an ex,
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  if you have childhood trauma, guess what?
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  I'm the safe person that wouldn't do that to you or OR.
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  I also understand your trauma because I've went through
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  similar see it mirroring. Like I'm literally becoming a
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  custom built version of the person you've been looking for,
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  everything you're looking for in a significant other.
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  I'm them, I'm him, I'm me. This is what happens.
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  Y'all if what, what it feels like a connection, but it really
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  is a just a data-driven mask, a mask that we have cultivated
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  from talking to you, from dealing with you, from being
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  with you and doing things like that.
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  This what happens Y'all seriously, they might tell
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  people you you have to slow down and really get the knows of 1
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  and that's how we go into stage 2, the second stage of the love
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  on me face. Y'all, they call it the rush.
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  Did you feel that? Did you feel that rush right
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  there? The rush or the gas pedal stage
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  right? Narcissistic people are in a
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  rush. We are in a rush like think
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  about like I want you to fall in love with me as fast as
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  possible. I really, truly do like speed.
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  Y'all might have heard me say this before, but speed is the
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  weapon of a narcissist. It absolutely is.
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  Speed is the weapon of a narcissist.
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  The faster we go, the less you know who I am.
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  The faster this relationship moves.
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  The less you know me, the the faster I sweep you up off of
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  your feet, the faster I can drop you on top of your head.
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  This is why when you're when you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, when you're being love bombed, you're rushing.
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  I love you. The first week we're living
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  together. Within the second week we got we
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  talking about kids, family. I'm future faking the hell out
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  of you, right? I'm selling you this dream right
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  here. I'm rushing you through it.
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  That's why I like when you were talking to other people and like
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  doing this during this stage, not only do we rush you to fall
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  in love with us, we're all sure also rushing you to rushing to
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  isolate you as well. We're putting the gas pedal on
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  the isolation. The faster I can get you to
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  myself, the easier it is for me. Think about it just like that,
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  the faster I can eliminate your friends and family because your
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  friends and family don't like me.
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  They just, they just don't want you happy.
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  They're jealous of us. Guess what?
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  Now I got you. You see how it goes right there?
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  Now I really do have you. Now I got you.
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  Now you're here with me all alone.
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  Your family and friends are of the picture.
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  Now you have no one here but me. This is why I tell y'all when
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  I'm doing my one O ones over zoom mental illness.net.
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  I tell people all the time, slow your ass down.
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  The faster you go the better it is for that narcissist.
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  And that's just the truth right there y'all.
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  The faster we move the better it is for that narcissistic person.
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  This is what happens right here. This is why you end up like Will
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  Lee. I met this person on on Black
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  Planet, On a Black Planet or Zoosk or Plenty of Fish, and
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  within two weeks we were living together and I was pregnant.
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  Or we were pregnant. I'd ever knew.
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  Yeah, 'cause you don't know the person.
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  You're rushing, right? You're rushing.
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  I tell people like this, if this is supposed to be forever, why
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  are we rushing? Let's savor it.
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  Let's take our time. Slow the hell down.
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  It really is like you have to be able to slow down in stage 3.
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  I'm going to say slow down. I mentioned this in Stage 2, but
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  stage stage 3, we're going to go more into it.
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  Isolation. The third phase of the Love
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  Mummy phase is isolation. You got to think about it like
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  that. This is where we tell you that
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  all of your friends and family are jealous of us.
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  They don't like us. They don't want us together.
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  They look. I might even tell you that your
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  best friend hits on your best friend hits on me.
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  You know your best friend really likes me, right?
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  Your best friend was sending me messages.
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  I quote your best friend looking at my butt.
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  I quote your best friend looking at my muscles.
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  I quote your best friend like in my pictures.
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  Your best friend added me. I'm planting seeds.
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  Your mom doesn't like me because your dad left.
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  Your dad hates me because I'm just like him.
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  Like he can't stand to see somebody that's better than him,
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  so he does. Your dad doesn't want you happy.
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  Your mom doesn't want you happy. Your best friend, your brothers
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  and sisters, they don't like me either because they really,
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  truly are jealous of you. They don't want you to be happy,
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  though. They don't want what's best for
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  you. How do they?
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  How can they want what's best for you when they don't like me
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  and I'm best for you? Don't you love me?
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  Don't you care about me? Don't you want to be with me?
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  Have I gave you any reason to not trust me?
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  Not believe me? You see how that works right
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  there? I know it's cold.
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  I like, like, damn, what the hell?
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  You see what I'm saying? During this isolation stage,
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  that narcissistic person is going to create a bubble, right?
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  They're going to, they're going to bubble you off or build a
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  wall between you and your support system, you and your
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  community, you and your best friends, you and your coworkers,
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  you, you, you, you have nobody else, right?
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  We want like, we want to be your only source of validation.
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  We're getting validation from you, but we won't.
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  We want to cut your validation off to only us, right?
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  Your only source of validation, your only source of your only
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  source of the truth. Like, if I can make myself your
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  entire world, then I control your reality.
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  Because that's what it's all about right there.
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  In the end, it's all about control.
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  I want control. Untethered control.
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  Unchallenged control. Unmatched control.
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  Now, what some narcissists will try to do right here is make it
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  seem like they're protecting you.
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  I'm just worried about you. I'm just trying to protect you
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  from your mom. I'm just trying to protect you
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  from your friend. I'm trying to protect you, blah
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  blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB. They're not really trying to
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  protect you. They're trying to control you.
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  That's literally what they try to do right there.
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  That's literally a big part of it.
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  That's literally how the mindset of a narcissist works.
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  They try to sell you on this is just me trying to protect you,
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  but in all actuality, it's not protect, protect, protection,
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  protection. It's control.
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  It's ownership. It's obsession.
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  Baby care of y'all in the last stage of the love bombing phase
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  is let me hear what your guess is.
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  Devaluation. If you didn't guess, look, if
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  you didn't guess the evaluation, guess what happens right here.
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  Gotcha. During that, like I said, in
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  stage 4 of the love bombing process, right when the work is
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  done, when you're hooked, you've changed your life for me.
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  Now I got you. Now the love bombing typically
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  comes to a halt, slams on brakes.
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  It's like you look, it's like you are you have a you get a
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  emotional whiplash because you went from being so in love and
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  so in this relationship right here to now, you're getting
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  treated like crap. You're getting treated like like
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  literally like poop on a stick. You know what I mean?
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  Poop on a stick. Where the hell did they come
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  from? That was a no, that was a bad
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  one. I can't believe I can't.
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  That's a bad one. That's a bad what's a bad
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  metaphor? That's a bad one and no
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  knowledge, whatever it was like, that's what it is.
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  That sucks right there. I promise you I won't do that
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  again. I'll come with more, I'll come
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  with more fire. Now this is a metaphor because
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  that was not it right there. They're cheating, just treating
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  you just like crap. Not even on this.
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  No stick needed, right? It it goes from hot to cold,
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  from up to down, from high to low to a peak, from a peak to a
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  valley, from a just an upbeat relationship to a crash.
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  You're crashing now, right? It was look, it went from super
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  red hot to suddenly now I'm cold, I'm distant.
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  I'm not giving you any more affection.
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  I'm not telling you that I love you like I used to.
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  I'm not caressing you. I'm not touching you.
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  I'm not kissing you, I'm texting you back slower.
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  I'm ignoring your calls all day. I was busy.
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  Sorry. I can respond to your message.
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  I was busy today. Nobody's that busy y'all.
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  They can take y'all. They can take 12 seconds out of
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  the day to text you or to call you.
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  They absolutely can. And that's what ends up going on
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  like that, y'all. So that's what you have to deal
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  with. Like they can.
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  They they can go from wanting to be in your presence all the time
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  to enjoying your smell, enjoying your touch, to now everything
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  you say is annoying. You're annoying me.
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  You get on my nerves. I'm tired of you get away from
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  me you due to clingy. They'll call you clingy now when
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  they were when they were the clingers they were the original
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  clingers. Now they're calling you clingy.
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  What kind of hell? What the hell is that right
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  there? How does that work right there
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  y'all? So that's what you know right
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  there. That's when you know you're in
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  the in the devaluation phase. That's truly when you know it.
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  Like so narcissistic people, they put you on this pedestal
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  and they're going to knock you off of this damn thing.
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  Now they're going to shake this pedestal till you fall off of
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  it. This is what ends up happening.
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  Now the crazy thing about it is the the evaluation phase of the
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  love by me phase does not mean that the relationship ends,
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  right? Because just because I stopped
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  loved by me doesn't mean I'm going to let you go.
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  Just because you're a narcissistic partner has started
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  to started to devalue you, it doesn't mean that they're going
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  to release you. That's not how it works, right?
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  Just because they're devaluing you does not mean that they're
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  going to release you and let you go or do anything like that.
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  That's not how it works. You'll spend the next few years
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  trying to get that love back because you know that I have the
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  capability of loving you and giving you everything that you
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  want me. You know I can become that
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  person over and over again. You want that person back from
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  the beginning. So for the next few years, the
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  next few weeks or whatever the case may be, months, whatever,
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  you're going to spend your time, effort, and energy trying to get
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  that back. You're going to work tirelessly,
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  tirelessly trying to get back to that love that you lost, the
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  love that you want back, the love that you never had before.
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  You're never going to get it back.
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  That's not how it works, y'all. You're not going to get it back.
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  I know it sucks to even say that and whatnot, but you're never,
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  ever going to get it back. The person that they were in the
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  beginning was their representative.
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  It's not really who they are. So as you continue to move
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  forward your journey, just understand, take your time, feel
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  people out, set boundaries, like see how they handle pressure,
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  see how they handle stress. Really truly take your time,
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  take care of yourself. Y'all and I have a you want to
• 13:26
  know more about the love by me phase in the other stages of a
• 13:29
  narcissistic relationship? Check out my course at
• 13:32
  mentalillness.net. It's called understanding the
• 13:35
  seven stages of a narcissistic relationship.
• 13:37
  It goes deep into the love by me phase and into other things as
• 13:40
  well. Y'all and you entered the code
• 13:42
  mothers or fathers get 20% of it makes it like 20 dollars, $20.00
• 13:46
  for a fire course. Hit that subscribe button if you
• 13:50
  haven't y'all. And it's always, it's always
• 13:52
  y'all, please.