Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / Stop Fighting Your Biology: Why ADHD Moms Need ‘Quick Wins’ to Survive | 028

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Stop Fighting Your Biology: Why ADHD Moms Need ‘Quick Wins’ to Survive | 028 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm Jessica Lynn Lewis.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Today's quick win, pick a process, not a finish line.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or frozen, which we find ourselves in a lot of the times, don't ask, how am I gonna finish this?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's the outcome?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, let's ask, what's the next small action I can take that I can control?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: So why does this work?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at it through an elite athlete lens.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they want to win, but they don't focus on winning.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: They focus on form, breath, and execution.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: So our ADHD brains can work the same way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: When you shift your attention from the outcome or looking at the finish line, and you shift it to focusing on the process, your nervous system actually calms down, the pressure to win drops, and then dopamine arrives during the action, not after.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe not at all because it's waiting for the finish line, and we all know how it feels to wait.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then also momentum replaces the overwhelm.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can stop fighting your brain and start working with it.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So quick wins are process goals, and process goals are how real change can happen.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Process goals are what we're diving into today.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna start by saying this because I think a lot of us need to hear it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you ever feel like you know what to do, but you can't seem to make yourself do it consistently, it doesn't mean you're lazy.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean you lack discipline or motivation.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yes, that can be part of the problem, but a lot of times that's not really the underlying problem.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: It just means your brain works differently.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're a mom with ADHD, you're trying to manage kids, schedules, emotions, meals, work, relationships, your own health, that difference gets amplified.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to dive in why quick wins work so well for ADHD brains.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a hack, it's not a shortcut, it's not just trying to be more productive because we've tried all that.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: We know that doesn't really work.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's definitely not that we're trying to lower the bar and dumb it down.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is more of a neuroscience-based, evidence-backed way of working with your brain and your environment instead of constantly fighting them.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think the more you understand how it works, the better you can work with your brain and teach your kids how to work with their brains.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: This past week I came across a research article someone posted, I think it may have been Adam Grant.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know a bunch of people were sharing it, but it's called The Performance and Psychological Effects of Goal Setting in Sport.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And within the article, it says, the research provides important insights that guide use of goal setting to enhance performance and psychological outcomes in sports.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I thought, hmm, this has got to apply somehow to our ADHD brains as well.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do elite sports athletes and our ADHD brains have in common?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: How did I see this connection?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, in high performance sports, researchers have consistently found that athletes perform best when they're not focusing on winning, but when they focus on their process.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of focusing on the finish line, they paid attention to their body position, their breath, their form, their timing, the next precise movement.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: They're not looking at the scoreboard, they're not looking at a medal.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: They're not looking for the outcome.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And let me remind you, these are elite athletes.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're not beginners.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: They're elite, highly motivated athletes, people who already want to win.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: What the research showed is that outcome focus actually increases pressure, disrupts attention, and degrades performance, even for the best of the best.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And what that tells us is something really important.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Even the most disciplined, driven performers in the world don't do their best to work when their brains are locked onto outcomes.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: They do better when they're anchored in the next small, controllable action.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD brains are interest-based.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: We engage through immediacy, meaning, and feedback, not pressure, not fear, and not distant rewards.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So when we put our focus on an outcome, it means a few things are happening all the time.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: It means delayed dopamine.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Motivation doesn't show up before the action.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's waiting for the outcome, and then it's the dopamine release.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Focusing on the outcome also messes up our time blindness.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Future rewards don't really feel real or regulating.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a huge emotional load.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Especially as a mom when everything feels urgent and the constant context switching, which drains our executive functioning really fast.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're told to just set better goals or be disciplined, stay focused on the big picture, what you're really being asked to do is to override your neurological brain in the way it thinks.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, of course, exhausting.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So quick wins aren't about doing less.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: They're not quick hacks, they're not dumbing things down.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know you, you can handle a lot.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're smart, you're super professional, and you've had great success in your life.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't feel like it right now, but you're also tired.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain doesn't get a rest, it doesn't get to shut down.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And staring at a wall and not thinking sounds amazing right now.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: So quick wins are designed to help you shift your attention from outcomes to inputs, the same way elite athletes do.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: They don't lower the bar, they focus on the things that actually move the needle without overwhelming your nervous system.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to walk you through a few small shifts that can make a massive difference, especially for you ADHD moms.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: One of the biggest shifts is moving from asking, how do I finish this?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: to asking, what's the next small action I can take and that I can control?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so if you're feeling stuck in something right now, here are some questions that you can ask yourself to just kind of help you get a little bit of momentum going.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: These are some other process-focused questions, and it'll help redirect your brain.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're stuck in something, take a minute, think about where is it that you're stuck right now?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And now let's ask yourself what's the one thing I can do right now in under five minutes?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: What about what's the smallest visual step I can take?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do that doesn't require deciding anything else first?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: What would feel like progress, even if it's tiny progress?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what's one thing I can move, touch, or open?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Notice that these questions, none of these ask you to finish anything.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about motion and immediate feedback.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what's going to keep your nervous system calm and your executive functioning working.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: It creates momentum in the moment instead of looking at the finish line and being stuck on not knowing what to do next.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Another shift is trading time-based goals for action-based goals.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of, I'm going to work on this for an hour, it becomes, I'm just going to open up this document.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to write one paragraph.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going, I'm going to unload the dishwasher, not wipe down the whole kitchen.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: These small little actions give your brain a clear, fast win.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And your nervous system can rest a little bit because you're in the process.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing something.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: You have movement.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And a third shift that is really small but really helpful is focusing on visible progress.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Our ADHD brains need to see movement to feel regulated.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's why checking something off feels so good.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's visual progress.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: So each quick win is tangible and doable.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: You probably don't need to push harder because you're probably already maxed out here.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: You just need a system that respects how your brain works in a very demanding, emotionally loaded environment.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Again, quick wins are not about doing less, they're about doing what works with your brain.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that naturally leads to consistency, automation, and sustainability.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode was helpful, I just want you to hear this.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to remember everything in this episode.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just think back and embrace one thing that really stood out to you.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's the power of quick wins.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: I create these episodes for ADHD moms who want change that actually works without burning out or fighting against our brains.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's something we can learn ourselves while also teaching our kids.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm creating a private audio space for you focused on reflection, reframing, and regulation, so you can stay grounded in the chaos and walk away calmer, not resentful.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: My goal is that you don't have to go anywhere else.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can just listen right here, right where you are.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So more information on that coming soon.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, right now I'm just figuring out how to share that, where to send you to get that, and how it works.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So stay tuned for that.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: But right now, you can join our newsletter.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: The link is in the show notes, or you can find us on our website, theadhdmom.com.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: All the links to our social channels are there: YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's all at the top.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Again, our website is theadhhdmom.com.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to remind you that you are not behind.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: You are right where you need to be for right now.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: We're not looking for perfection.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're just embracing our beautiful smart brains and teaching our kids how to do the same.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, have a beautiful week.