Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Passenger Princess
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
- 0:04Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
- 0:10Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
- 0:15Speaker 3: Tis we tis the season.
- 0:18Speaker 2: It's every Every season is the season for scrubbing in.
- 0:22Speaker 3: So I have to tell you something, okay, And I
- 0:25Speaker 3: feel like you're gonna agree with this because you just
- 0:29Speaker 3: I just know you are. But normally when I'm like,
- 0:33Speaker 3: I have become a passenger princess. Okay, Robbie just enjoys
- 0:38Speaker 3: driving all the time, like he does not enjoy being
- 0:40Speaker 3: a passenger. He likes driving, so when we go places,
- 0:43Speaker 3: he drives me too. So I'm usually just driving like
- 0:46Speaker 3: myself for the kids. I'm never driving him, I see,
- 0:49Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? Yeah, So for his birthday,
- 0:52Speaker 3: I did some activities that I was I didn't want
- 0:55Speaker 3: to tell him, so I drove him to these activities. Right,
- 0:59Speaker 3: So he is in my car and he is the
- 1:02Speaker 3: worst backseat driver, Like he's just chirp, chirp, chirping away.
- 1:06Speaker 3: But he wasn't wrong.
- 1:07Speaker 4: And and.
- 1:10Speaker 3: Yeah, like I I don't really stop. I drive really slow,
- 1:14Speaker 3: so I will say that I'm like a grandma, drive
- 1:16Speaker 3: really slow. However, I don't fully stop at stop signs.
- 1:19Speaker 3: I kind of just like roll through, roll through, but
- 1:22Speaker 3: I go slow. I'm going slow. I'm not like speeding
- 1:24Speaker 3: through like I'm still going slow. I'm just like slowly
- 1:26Speaker 3: approaching and then slowly I'm off and then up the
- 1:30Speaker 3: canyons with these like windy kind of like these windy roads,
- 1:34Speaker 3: and I don't really stay on my side, I just
- 1:36Speaker 3: like take up the whole whole road because I've never
- 1:39Speaker 3: seen any other cars coming around. And he was like, Babe,
- 1:42Speaker 3: if there was another car coming around the corner, like
- 1:44Speaker 3: that would be so bad. And I was like, you're right, yeah,
- 1:49Speaker 3: it would be it'd be bad. But I haven't seen whatever.
- 1:53Speaker 3: And driving these streets since nine to nine.
- 1:56Speaker 2: Let's just start trying to stay within the lines that
- 1:59Speaker 2: are there for a reason.
- 2:00Speaker 3: Line they don't have lines on them. They're lineless.
- 2:04Speaker 2: What road are you talking about?
- 2:05Speaker 3: Random roads? They're lineless because they're small. There's small roads, okay,
- 2:11Speaker 3: so like they're lineless.
- 2:14Speaker 1: Residential streets often will not what you're saying.
- 2:17Speaker 3: Yes, it's see residentially, I'm not like going down Hollywood.
- 2:21Speaker 2: Boulevard, Okay, I personally so I too, am the driver
- 2:27Speaker 2: of our relationship. Haley is very much the passenger princess.
- 2:32Speaker 2: And it's not because she doesn't want to drive. It's
- 2:34Speaker 2: because I'm like, absolutely not because and I'm not kidding,
- 2:38Speaker 2: Like nine times out of ten we will bicker because
- 2:41Speaker 2: she will do something and she'll be like, babe, I
- 2:44Speaker 2: swear because I'll go I'm a bad backseat driver too.
- 2:48Speaker 2: So it's a bad combo because she'll miss not like
- 2:53Speaker 2: not see someone has their brakes on and slam on
- 2:55Speaker 2: her brakes. Or she'll be staring at me and I'm like,
- 2:58Speaker 2: can you look at the road, and she is so beautiful,
- 3:00Speaker 2: I get distracted. I'm like, well then I need to
- 3:03Speaker 2: be driving. So that's our role. You know, you're so
- 3:09Speaker 2: scary to ride in the car with.
- 3:10Speaker 5: Why You'll just be like let me replay this song
- 3:14Speaker 5: and like fusing with your phone and I'm like, we're
- 3:17Speaker 5: going down literally the canyons, like zooming.
- 3:21Speaker 2: I don't consider you a slow driver, actually really I
- 3:24Speaker 2: don't think so. Really, I think I'm always quite scared
- 3:27Speaker 2: of how erratic and past we're going.
- 3:30Speaker 3: That's crazy. That is like a long day because I
- 3:34Speaker 3: drive very slow.
- 3:36Speaker 2: Well I don't maybe it's slow and erratic either way.
- 3:41Speaker 2: I always am thinking if if it's my choice, if
- 3:44Speaker 2: I'm writing in the car with Tanya, I'm going to
- 3:46Speaker 2: offer to drive, never not offering to drive.
- 3:52Speaker 3: Well, it's all been noted, and I'm gonna start taking
- 3:57Speaker 3: driving lessons because I think.
- 4:00Speaker 2: I think there's some things that you can correct without
- 4:02Speaker 2: needing lessons. Though I think it's.
- 4:04Speaker 5: Stopping at a stop sign.
- 4:07Speaker 2: You can do that, staying on one side of the road,
- 4:11Speaker 2: doabole going to speed limit.
- 4:14Speaker 1: I do want to speed limit.
- 4:16Speaker 2: I drive in my FLD slowly on the freeway, but
- 4:19Speaker 2: that's also dangerous. Why are you going too slow on
- 4:22Speaker 2: the freeway. You're too slow?
- 4:24Speaker 3: Please please, please, please respect. I have some respect on
- 4:28Speaker 3: my name.
- 4:29Speaker 2: Sometimes your conversations, it's like our relationship really mirrors each.
- 4:33Speaker 3: Other, me and Robbie and you and Haley.
- 4:35Speaker 2: Yes yeah, with you being Haley and Robbie and I being.
- 4:40Speaker 3: Like yeah, it's tough being in a relationship with us.
- 4:43Speaker 3: So I understand.
- 4:46Speaker 2: Wow, you're so self aware rate today.
- 4:49Speaker 3: I'm nothing if not aware, nothing aware.
- 4:55Speaker 2: We're skipping the jingle until we have what we want.
- 5:00Speaker 2: So don't worry.
- 5:01Speaker 3: Now, you're just gonna get us singing live each time.
- 5:04Speaker 2: You gotta come with the question on you.
- 5:07Speaker 3: I have an idea. Dear bond Ya.
- 5:13Speaker 1: That was Amy Rose by the way, Yeah, from Sonic Rose.
- 5:17Speaker 3: We'll never know.
- 5:17Speaker 2: We realized that Tonya can't channel Amy Rose unless she's
- 5:20Speaker 2: singing the Dear Bondy. It's a it's a complicated situation
- 5:24Speaker 2: we're in.
- 5:25Speaker 3: You know, who's gonna be really sad one day when
- 5:28Speaker 3: I finally get my role in some animated movie, the
- 5:33Speaker 3: Sonic people will come crawling back to me.
- 5:36Speaker 2: You just watch.
- 5:37Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna hang up on them when they do that.
- 5:39Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna say sorry. I'm already gonna be in
- 5:41Speaker 3: Frozen seventeen.
- 5:44Speaker 2: Wow, we have a long way before she gets hurt
- 5:47Speaker 2: her star.
- 5:51Speaker 1: You see.
- 5:52Speaker 3: That's why I went to y'all.
- 5:53Speaker 2: Are y'all are pretty simpatico? Is that the word? Like
- 5:57Speaker 2: in line with each other.
- 5:59Speaker 1: But it's a rivalry.
- 6:00Speaker 2: Now, she took your job on one sidry it.
- 6:04Speaker 1: Is, you're gonna take her job from Frozen. By the way,
- 6:05Speaker 1: She's coming on the show on Friday, so tomorrow, so yeah,
- 6:09Speaker 1: you're welcome to call her out to.
- 6:12Speaker 3: Promote this movie.
- 6:13Speaker 1: No, she's talking about the Actor Awards oh, the sag
- 6:17Speaker 1: Award formerly.
- 6:18Speaker 2: Known as Yeah, Oh my gosh, you should have a
- 6:23Speaker 2: amy Ro's voice off.
- 6:25Speaker 3: I wonder if she has it down.
- 6:28Speaker 2: I'm sure she auditioned for right.
- 6:30Speaker 3: And that's what she has to use.
- 6:33Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure, but maybe you could give her some tips.
- 6:38Speaker 3: Face to face, just.
- 6:40Speaker 2: Like eyeing her down and she's like, weird?
- 6:43Speaker 3: Why is this girl looking at me so weird?
- 6:47Speaker 1: Dear Bonya, shall we from anonymous fellow scrubbing in crew.
- 6:52Speaker 1: My first time writing in because I genuinely don't know
- 6:54Speaker 1: what to do or who to talk to about this.
- 6:56Speaker 1: I'm three months postpartum after my second child, going back
- 6:59Speaker 1: to where and I decided to join my work indoor
- 7:02Speaker 1: soccer team because I played soccer in high school. I
- 7:05Speaker 1: was nervous and I felt vulnerable because my first time
- 7:07Speaker 1: doing something this active since the baby, and my body
- 7:09Speaker 1: is different now. I had my husband coming. He bought
- 7:12Speaker 1: my two year old daughter and newborn's son. I was
- 7:14Speaker 1: out of shape, but I felt proud of myself. I
- 7:16Speaker 1: could hear my two year old cheer for me from
- 7:18Speaker 1: the stands. On the way home, my husband told me
- 7:20Speaker 1: he heard a woman say that if I was just
- 7:22Speaker 1: coming back from a baby. Maybe I should have joined
- 7:25Speaker 1: a less competitive team. What is she doing here? Anyway?
- 7:28Speaker 1: He told me this because he said it made it
- 7:29Speaker 1: mad and he wanted to defend me. Ultimately, though, his
- 7:32Speaker 1: telling me this story made me sad. I started to cry. First,
- 7:35Speaker 1: it's supposed to be a fun work league. It's not
- 7:37Speaker 1: supposed to be competitive. Second, I was so nervous, and
- 7:40Speaker 1: that's so I confirmed my fears and I felt dumb
- 7:42Speaker 1: going to play. I was proud and happy my kid
- 7:44Speaker 1: could see me out there, but it felt like that
- 7:45Speaker 1: all want us the window. After hearing that story, I
- 7:48Speaker 1: need advice I want to do next. My work wants
- 7:50Speaker 1: me to come play, and my husband's trying to tell
- 7:52Speaker 1: me don't. With some other people still play, it's easier
- 7:55Speaker 1: said than done. Do I tell anyone about this comment
- 7:57Speaker 1: that was said. I'd love to keep playing soccer in
- 7:59Speaker 1: front of my daughter, who cheered for me, but I'm
- 8:01Speaker 1: having a hard time putting myself in a vulnerable position again.
- 8:04Speaker 1: Any thoughts and advice are welcomed. Thank you for being
- 8:07Speaker 1: a space Wherecord write down my thoughts and feelings. Even
- 8:09Speaker 1: if you don't read this on the podcast.
- 8:13Speaker 2: Well that you show up every single week this leak
- 8:18Speaker 2: because you know what you I have. I can say
- 8:21Speaker 2: this because I recently like just sort of playing in
- 8:23Speaker 2: the back and it's not even a league, the basketball
- 8:25Speaker 2: thing I'm playing. It's just like a pickup basketball game.
- 8:28Speaker 2: Going and doing something like that new with people that
- 8:31Speaker 2: you don't know very well or only know on like
- 8:34Speaker 2: a work level, and and putting yourself in a vulnerable position,
- 8:37Speaker 2: especially when you know, like you're not at your peak
- 8:40Speaker 2: athleticism or being in shape is so powerful. And I
- 8:45Speaker 2: hope that you don't let I heard this thing the
- 8:47Speaker 2: other day, don't let the criticism of losers affect you.
- 8:52Speaker 2: And I was like, wow, that is such a thing,
- 8:54Speaker 2: because why do we listen and let things get in
- 8:57Speaker 2: our head when it's from people like you're such a
- 9:02Speaker 2: badass woman going out there having a baby and then
- 9:05Speaker 2: going to play soccer. Like I couldn't even play soccer
- 9:09Speaker 2: right now, it's so much running. So I say, don't listen,
- 9:13Speaker 2: go out there, show them why you wanted to play.
- 9:15Speaker 2: And if you, for whatever reason feel like, hey, this
- 9:18Speaker 2: league feels a little too advanced for where I'm at
- 9:20Speaker 2: right now, I want to join. If you feel that way,
- 9:23Speaker 2: take a step back.
- 9:24Speaker 3: And be she doesn't. She's literally saying she's having fun,
- 9:27Speaker 3: she loves having her kids seeing her out there. She's
- 9:31Speaker 3: enjoying it.
- 9:31Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. But I'm saying if she gets
- 9:33Speaker 2: to a point where she's like, dang, like I'm struggle
- 9:35Speaker 2: or you know, I'm like, but if as long as
- 9:37Speaker 2: you feel good about being out there, I say, you
- 9:40Speaker 2: show up every week.
- 9:41Speaker 3: It just bothers. I know, it's so much easier said
- 9:44Speaker 3: than done. It's so easy for us to sit here
- 9:46Speaker 3: and say, come, don't listen to what anybody else to say, like,
- 9:49Speaker 3: live your life unapologetically be you, and like I am
- 9:53Speaker 3: the first person to say that, But I know it's
- 9:55Speaker 3: so much easier said than done. But at the end
- 9:58Speaker 3: of the day, like, that's your life, you know what
- 10:00Speaker 3: I mean, Like you don't want to have regrets about
- 10:03Speaker 3: something because of somebody else's stupid opinion, you know what
- 10:07Speaker 3: I mean. Like, and we get it all the time.
- 10:10Speaker 3: People are constantly, like even in our Facebook group, calling
- 10:13Speaker 3: us out for things that we you know, like or
- 10:16Speaker 3: how I act, or if I'm annoying, or I find
- 10:18Speaker 3: this or that. If I listen to people, I would
- 10:20Speaker 3: literally drive myself nuts trying to just like appease every
- 10:24Speaker 3: single person. At the end of the day, you have
- 10:26Speaker 3: to live your life authentically to who you are. You
- 10:29Speaker 3: want to go out there, you want to play the game,
- 10:31Speaker 3: you're having fun. It seems like this is the only
- 10:33Speaker 3: person that has a problem with it, and it's not
- 10:35Speaker 3: her problem. It's not her business. I stand on business.
- 10:41Speaker 2: I think you should go up to the girl who
- 10:42Speaker 2: said it and say I heard that. No one's kidding.
- 10:45Speaker 2: I heard that you were talking about me, and I
- 10:47Speaker 2: wanted to know if you were still feeling that way.
- 10:51Speaker 3: But I also think he's not going to do that.
- 10:52Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I would never do that.
- 10:54Speaker 3: But why don't we do that? Why don't we do that?
- 10:58Speaker 2: So yes, sometimes it's just like showing up and like
- 11:01Speaker 2: being good at soccer is the best form of a response.
- 11:04Speaker 3: Yesterday we were or whatever day was, Robbie and I
- 11:07Speaker 3: were out to breakfast and we had Sonny with us,
- 11:10Speaker 3: and this girl at the table was like kind of
- 11:14Speaker 3: just like giving us these like like vibes. That's I
- 11:16Speaker 3: was keeping sunny like on the other side, right, and
- 11:18Speaker 3: she was like being so chill. She didn't jump on
- 11:20Speaker 3: her or she didn't, she was just there. Okay. So
- 11:22Speaker 3: the girl's friend comes back to the table. They start
- 11:24Speaker 3: speaking in a different language that Robbie knows, and they're
- 11:28Speaker 3: like talking madge on my dog. They're like, oh my god,
- 11:31Speaker 3: that girl's dog like just scared me. And the other
- 11:33Speaker 3: girl was like, yeah, her fur just got all over
- 11:36Speaker 3: my food. And Robbie was like, they were talking mad
- 11:39Speaker 3: you know what on Sunny And I was like, why
- 11:41Speaker 3: don't you tell me we were there? Because I literally
- 11:42Speaker 3: would have turned to the table and been like, maybe
- 11:45Speaker 3: if you're trying to talk ish on somebody else, speak
- 11:49Speaker 3: a different language, because my husband can understand you and
- 11:51Speaker 3: I know exactly what you're saying.
- 11:53Speaker 2: I wish Robbie would have responded in the language I know.
- 11:56Speaker 1: I know.
- 11:57Speaker 3: He's just like he's an unproblematic king, like he just
- 11:59Speaker 3: like I can't be bothered. And I was like so
- 12:01Speaker 3: pissed because he said it as we were walking out,
- 12:03Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm tempted to go back there
- 12:06Speaker 3: and just like go off. Why don't we do that?
- 12:10Speaker 3: We should do it more. People need to not be
- 12:12Speaker 3: able to.
- 12:12Speaker 2: Just do this stuff, to speak their minds.
- 12:16Speaker 3: No, like this girl's saying like whatever the soccer team
- 12:19Speaker 3: soccer was saying, It's like, no.
- 12:21Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, Anonymous, what do you get? What do
- 12:25Speaker 2: you get out of not going back to this soccer team? Like,
- 12:29Speaker 2: what do you get out of letting her win?
- 12:31Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 12:32Speaker 2: Nothing, nothing, You're just gonna be like, dang, I wish
- 12:34Speaker 2: I was playing soccer weekly.
- 12:36Speaker 3: Nobody got on her head, and now she's feeling insecure,
- 12:38Speaker 3: which it really.
- 12:40Speaker 2: But I need to take that insecurity and even if
- 12:43Speaker 2: you're scared, even if you're nervous, do it anyway, because
- 12:47Speaker 2: the more you show up and continue to play, the
- 12:49Speaker 2: easier it's gonna get, not only psychologically but physically, it's
- 12:53Speaker 2: gonna get easier. The more you're playing, you're gonna feel better.
- 12:55Speaker 2: You're gonna feel back to your high school self, and
- 12:59Speaker 2: you're gonna feel oud that you're out there, and that
- 13:01Speaker 2: girl is going to be like dang, she's pretty good.
- 13:04Speaker 1: The insecurity is from the other woman, the woman who
- 13:06Speaker 1: said that she clearly wishes she could be out there. Absolutely,
- 13:11Speaker 1: the day you stop caring about what others think is
- 13:13Speaker 1: the day you start living. That's it. And one more thing,
- 13:16Speaker 1: it's it's hard. The next time you score a goal
- 13:19Speaker 1: and you're running back towards midfield, I want you to
- 13:21Speaker 1: look at her. Yes, I want you to stare her down. Yep,
- 13:24Speaker 1: that's it, and she wants She may not even know.
- 13:26Speaker 2: Why, Anonymous, I need an update, but you better be
- 13:31Speaker 2: on the soccer field next week, and if it's in LA,
- 13:36Speaker 2: we'll come cheer you on. Okay, this next one is
- 13:41Speaker 2: it's not funny, but it's it's a dilemma we should
- 13:44Speaker 2: break beforehand.
- 13:45Speaker 1: But I do want to do this one because we've
- 13:46Speaker 1: never gotten anything close to this before.
- 13:49Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's funny.
- 13:50Speaker 4: We're back.
- 14:10Speaker 1: That's right, Dear Banya, all capitalized like it's an acronym.
- 14:16Speaker 1: I've been a Day one listener. I love you for
- 14:18Speaker 1: so much. I only listen to one podcast and it's
- 14:21Speaker 1: scrubbing in. Wow, best vibes, easy going, makes me laugh.
- 14:24Speaker 1: Your half at all, that's nice. I need your takes.
- 14:27Speaker 1: I have a six year old Scottish fold cat. She's
- 14:30Speaker 1: super cute, soft, a lover her butt. She's a COVID
- 14:32Speaker 1: baby and didn't meet anyone else new for the first
- 14:34Speaker 1: year of her life, and as a result, she's incredibly
- 14:36Speaker 1: mean and scary to anyone who comes into my house.
- 14:39Speaker 1: She has nine pounds of terror, and everyone knows it.
- 14:42Speaker 1: She's caused injuries. My sister in law banged her, had
- 14:45Speaker 1: a fridge running away from her. A friend got attacked
- 14:50Speaker 1: on the foot for just standing in my kitchen, and
- 14:53Speaker 1: my boyfriend fell down the stairs and sprained his elbow
- 14:55Speaker 1: after she hissed and lunched at him. My siblings won't
- 14:59Speaker 1: let me, baby said, they're kids because they're so scared
- 15:01Speaker 1: of her. She won't let anyone but me pet her,
- 15:04Speaker 1: and occasionally we cuddle when people come over. I lock
- 15:07Speaker 1: her in my bedroom. I have a huge room, lots
- 15:08Speaker 1: of windows. It's not cruel, I promise, but I do
- 15:10Speaker 1: this because I'm constantly worried she'll attack someone. And here's
- 15:13Speaker 1: the part I feel awful about. My boyfriend is thinking
- 15:15Speaker 1: about moving in, and I'm considering rehoming her. I love her,
- 15:19Speaker 1: but I don't feel super connected. I crave a connection
- 15:22Speaker 1: we don't have. I've even thought about asking the breeder
- 15:24Speaker 1: to take her back. Most people are devastated when their
- 15:27Speaker 1: animal passes, and I'm here, and here, I am contemplating
- 15:30Speaker 1: giving mine away. I feel terrible, but I also don't
- 15:32Speaker 1: want my boyfriend uncomfortable, or anyone else getting hurt? What
- 15:34Speaker 1: would you do? Love you all, Thank you for making
- 15:36Speaker 1: my week twice a week.
- 15:38Speaker 2: Okay, this is a real dilemma. I'm sorry you're going
- 15:41Speaker 2: through it. But the injuries of everyone scattering, preaturing a
- 15:45Speaker 2: nine mold god.
- 15:46Speaker 3: Is lunging at him.
- 15:51Speaker 1: Oh, the sister running and banging her head into the fridge,
- 15:54Speaker 1: that's just great. But this is clearly really a problem
- 15:57Speaker 1: for you. And we're sorry you're going through this.
- 16:01Speaker 3: And I don't know much long time, but I also
- 16:03Speaker 3: don't know much about cats. Like cats have a long life,
- 16:06Speaker 3: like they say, like nine lives, Like she's gonna you're
- 16:10Speaker 3: gonna have this cat for.
- 16:11Speaker 1: Between twelve and eighteen years they much.
- 16:15Speaker 2: I'm being told, there's no wayed eighteen is a long time.
- 16:19Speaker 2: I think twenty is like the oldest cat I've ever
- 16:21Speaker 2: been around.
- 16:23Speaker 1: Scottish fold cats eleven fifteen.
- 16:25Speaker 3: Dogs average lifespans forever, forever, forever.
- 16:30Speaker 2: Don't talk about that right now. Okay, I don't know
- 16:33Speaker 2: much about cats, and cats.
- 16:34Speaker 3: Lived much longer than dogs. Oh learned something Neway.
- 16:40Speaker 2: I don't know if you can train cats like I
- 16:43Speaker 2: don't know if you.
- 16:43Speaker 3: Know a dog camp you can tend to like cat camp.
- 16:47Speaker 2: You know how you can send dogs away to like
- 16:49Speaker 2: a trainer and they can work on behavioral issues. I
- 16:52Speaker 2: don't know if cats have that same they must, I
- 16:55Speaker 2: don't know. They're different. You know, it's a different.
- 16:58Speaker 3: It's feline, it's a Yeah.
- 17:03Speaker 2: I have no issue if you find someone that is
- 17:06Speaker 2: going to love the cat and like be able to
- 17:10Speaker 2: to deal with this cat's temperament and it's all of
- 17:13Speaker 2: it's all the things that it comes with, it's terrorizing behavior.
- 17:18Speaker 2: I am not opposed to rehoming.
- 17:21Speaker 3: Yeah, rehoming and like being diligent and finding a nice
- 17:25Speaker 3: home is one thing. But I feel like just giving
- 17:27Speaker 3: her to a shelter.
- 17:29Speaker 2: I don't support that.
- 17:29Speaker 3: I don't. Yeah, I think that would be really sad.
- 17:34Speaker 2: So I would say, maybe contact the breeder first because
- 17:38Speaker 2: they might be able to They might have like a
- 17:40Speaker 2: wait list, so they might be able to rehome it
- 17:42Speaker 2: to yeh, like.
- 17:43Speaker 3: Some loan, like someone that really wants just a cat, and.
- 17:48Speaker 2: It might her. I don't know if this how it works,
- 17:50Speaker 2: but maybe it's just your's personalities don't mash. Maybe she'll
- 17:53Speaker 2: find someone and be super loving and.
- 17:57Speaker 3: Cuddly, but also you have a life that's like very
- 17:59Speaker 3: it feels very active a lot of people, so yeah, yeah,
- 18:01Speaker 3: like some people don't have very social lives. They're like
- 18:04Speaker 3: a little bit to themselves.
- 18:05Speaker 2: So like the older person, Yeah, this.
- 18:07Speaker 3: Might be a better pairing for somebody like that.
- 18:09Speaker 2: Mm hm. So I would say, don't feel shame in
- 18:12Speaker 2: needing to rehome if you can find a place that's
- 18:15Speaker 2: going to love and nurture this cat. Yeah, they're also
- 18:19Speaker 2: Scottish folds, I think are very like expensive and isn't
- 18:23Speaker 2: that what Taylor Swift has.
- 18:25Speaker 3: I don't know anything about cats, literally nothing.
- 18:29Speaker 2: But I'm really sorry you're going through this because I
- 18:31Speaker 2: know it's a hard decision. But it seems like once
- 18:34Speaker 2: you get the once you can find someone to take
- 18:37Speaker 2: her on, you'll be happy to have her off your hands,
- 18:41Speaker 2: is what it sounds like.
- 18:41Speaker 1: Taylor Swift has two Scottish fold cats. Yeah, Meredith Gray
- 18:44Speaker 1: and Olivia Benson are both Scottish fold cats.
- 18:46Speaker 2: And I think that they're pretty cuddly and sweet, So
- 18:50Speaker 2: I think unfortunately, I think our listener thought that's what
- 18:53Speaker 2: she was getting and unfortunately did not. But I would say,
- 18:59Speaker 2: you know, I don't know, look into training cat training. Yeah,
- 19:03Speaker 2: that's what I would do.
- 19:04Speaker 3: And then if not, I was one Phase one fails.
- 19:09Speaker 2: If base one fails, seek a loving home that will
- 19:13Speaker 2: match this sweet little terror of a cat's life style.
- 19:19Speaker 2: I'm just think Phoebe's nine pounds, So I'm picturing Phoebe
- 19:22Speaker 2: just hissing and like chasing after me speaking.
- 19:25Speaker 3: It's scary. Sometimes she doesn't, sometimes she can.
- 19:29Speaker 2: She's alpha mentality, she's stout, she's dense, dense, Yeah, she's
- 19:34Speaker 2: got some density word. Yeah. Good Luckily, So we're wishing
- 19:40Speaker 2: you the best.
- 19:44Speaker 1: Good luck to your family, good luck to everyone involved.
- 19:47Speaker 2: Who's at risk? Whoa talking that?
- 19:54Speaker 1: All right?
- 19:54Speaker 4: Uh?
- 19:55Speaker 1: High scrubbing and squad. I have a longtime listen and
- 19:57Speaker 1: lover of the pod and very much a beckup. I
- 19:59Speaker 1: hope it can help me navigate a dilemma I'm dealing with.
- 20:01Speaker 1: I've been dating my boyfriend about six months, and he
- 20:03Speaker 1: decided to throw his mom a surprized birthday party for
- 20:06Speaker 1: an upcoming milestone birthday. I love that he wants to
- 20:09Speaker 1: celebrate her in such a thoughtful way. I've been helping
- 20:11Speaker 1: with the planning. I enjoy that kind of thing, and
- 20:13Speaker 1: he's really not the best at it. Here's where it
- 20:15Speaker 1: gets tricky. I've never met her. I just met his
- 20:19Speaker 1: twin daughter for the first time less than a week
- 20:21Speaker 1: ago at a group setting at church. Going to this
- 20:23Speaker 1: party doesn't feel like the right move. I don't want
- 20:25Speaker 1: his mom to feel obligated to spend time with me
- 20:27Speaker 1: in her own celebration when she should just be enjoying herself.
- 20:30Speaker 1: And going from a very brief introduction with his daughter
- 20:33Speaker 1: right into a big family event feels like a lot.
- 20:36Speaker 1: To make it more complicated, he told me he invited
- 20:38Speaker 1: his daughter's mom, her mom's boyfriend, and her mom to
- 20:42Speaker 1: the party. He's also mentioned multiple times in the past
- 20:46Speaker 1: that his daughter's mom won't like me, which has another
- 20:48Speaker 1: layer of awkwardness. I do want to add this. I
- 20:50Speaker 1: know he has dreams one day of having a big, cohesive,
- 20:53Speaker 1: blended family with his future spouse and his daughter's family.
- 20:55Speaker 1: I'm totally on board with that. I'd love for us
- 20:57Speaker 1: to be amicably attending events together and supporting his daughter
- 21:01Speaker 1: as a united front. I'm just not convinced that jumping
- 21:03Speaker 1: into this situation this early is the right way to
- 21:05Speaker 1: build that dynamic. His mom was out of town mending
- 21:09Speaker 1: her before the party is not an option. His daughter's
- 21:11Speaker 1: mom and him were never romantically involved, so it's not
- 21:14Speaker 1: a lingering feeling situation. He really wants me to go
- 21:17Speaker 1: and is clearly annoyed that I'm hesitant. I've met some
- 21:20Speaker 1: extended family and his brother, but only once. I want
- 21:22Speaker 1: to be a supportive girlfriend. I know how much throwing
- 21:24Speaker 1: this party means to him, but I can't check the
- 21:26Speaker 1: feeling that I'm walking into a nightmare. Do I go
- 21:28Speaker 1: and support him? Or is it reasonable to set a
- 21:31Speaker 1: boundary here and sit this one out? Love the girlfriend
- 21:33Speaker 1: with no onboarding?
- 21:36Speaker 2: Hm?
- 21:39Speaker 3: Why have all I need to know?
- 21:41Speaker 4: Oh?
- 21:41Speaker 2: What?
- 21:41Speaker 3: Ami? Because she says I'm trying to find exactly where
- 21:47Speaker 3: she said it, but she said that her boyfriend really
- 21:52Speaker 3: wants her to go. That to me is a green flag.
- 21:57Speaker 3: The fact that he's not trying to hide you keep
- 22:00Speaker 3: you from this party. Imagine he tried to say no, no,
- 22:03Speaker 3: don't come to this party, and like that would be
- 22:07Speaker 3: even more annoying. I think I think you'd feel a
- 22:09Speaker 3: certain type of way if he didn't want you to
- 22:10Speaker 3: come to this party. The fact that he wants you
- 22:12Speaker 3: to come to this party, it's not gonna be about you.
- 22:14Speaker 3: You're not gonna make the mom feel weird because you've
- 22:16Speaker 3: never met you. Go, you be super nice, meet her,
- 22:19Speaker 3: and then be on your merry way, Like just be
- 22:22Speaker 3: a nice, fun guess at the party, don't make it
- 22:24Speaker 3: about you, and go and have a good time. I
- 22:27Speaker 3: don't think it's like I don't think it's setting a boundary.
- 22:30Speaker 3: I also don't think you need to rush into anything,
- 22:32Speaker 3: you know what I mean, especially if you think you're
- 22:34Speaker 3: gonna be with this guy for a long time, if
- 22:36Speaker 3: you're not ready and you're not comfortable. But I feel
- 22:37Speaker 3: like the fact that he wants you to go is
- 22:39Speaker 3: a green good sign.
- 22:41Speaker 2: I agree. I was gonna suggest because she said she
- 22:43Speaker 2: lives out of town. I don't know if it's like
- 22:45Speaker 2: they're driving for the day and then coming back. I
- 22:48Speaker 2: don't know such logistics, but I was thinking, I wonder
- 22:51Speaker 2: if they could set up a like go the day
- 22:53Speaker 2: before and they could go have dinner with his mom,
- 22:57Speaker 2: just so it doesn't feel like you're like meeting her
- 22:59Speaker 2: for the first time the party, you know what I'm saying, Or.
- 23:01Speaker 3: Even like a FaceTime or something.
- 23:03Speaker 2: Yeah, just something where you kind of get a sense
- 23:05Speaker 2: of getting like meeting each other before a party. But
- 23:10Speaker 2: I think even though I totally validate your hesitation and
- 23:14Speaker 2: like the things that you're listing out that would be uncomfortable,
- 23:17Speaker 2: But I think you just go. Don't feel pressure to
- 23:20Speaker 2: sit with his mom or entertain his mom. Just go
- 23:22Speaker 2: and be more of like a support for your boyfriend
- 23:26Speaker 2: that clearly wants you to be a part and don't
- 23:29Speaker 2: overthink the like meeting for the first time part of it.
- 23:32Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 23:33Speaker 2: And if you can make plans and go up a
- 23:35Speaker 2: little earlier the day before, maybe y'all can go have
- 23:37Speaker 2: dinner or you can go to the house just to
- 23:39Speaker 2: say hey, so that that that like initial ice breaker
- 23:43Speaker 2: moment is out before the party.
- 23:45Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 23:46Speaker 2: And if it is at the party, just go and
- 23:48Speaker 2: be like, I'm so happy to be here and I'm
- 23:51Speaker 2: I'm so happy to meet you on your birthday, Like
- 23:54Speaker 2: just be you.
- 23:54Speaker 3: Yeah, happy birthday. What can I get you to drink? Yeah,
- 23:57Speaker 3: let's take a shot together, breaks the ice. Yeah, I
- 24:02Speaker 3: don't drink.
- 24:03Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean read learn about her, learn about her
- 24:06Speaker 2: before you ask about the shot.
- 24:07Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 24:08Speaker 3: I think this is such a green flag and like
- 24:10Speaker 3: not a boundary that you need to set.
- 24:13Speaker 2: And you don't need his daughter's mom to like you.
- 24:17Speaker 2: It'd be great if she does, but I don't nothing
- 24:20Speaker 2: to prove to her. Just be nice. If she wants
- 24:23Speaker 2: to like you, great. If she already doesn't like if you,
- 24:25Speaker 2: if she already doesn't like.
- 24:26Speaker 3: You, No, she she didn't say that. He said she
- 24:29Speaker 3: probably won't.
- 24:30Speaker 2: I know, if it's already assumed, then don't have expected.
- 24:34Speaker 2: Just go in be yourself. Maybe I will hit it
- 24:35Speaker 2: off and it'll surprise everybody. And maybe he's right, maybe
- 24:39Speaker 2: she's just not easy, like maybe she's has a hard
- 24:44Speaker 2: time liking anyone that's new. I don't know.
- 24:46Speaker 3: That's not on you.
- 24:48Speaker 2: I think you go be you, be the star that
- 24:50Speaker 2: you are, and don't feel like you have to like
- 24:53Speaker 2: prove yourself totally because he wants you there.
- 24:56Speaker 3: Yeah, which is key. Yes, which we love, which we love.
- 25:03Speaker 3: I think we're gonna play the birthday game, but we're
- 25:06Speaker 3: gonna take a quick break before we play.
- 25:09Speaker 2: I love that you love playing the birthday birthday game.
- 25:11Speaker 2: You keep coming back for more because you rarely win.
- 25:14Speaker 1: You know, she did win recently when you weren't here,
- 25:17Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if it's that she rarely wins
- 25:19Speaker 1: or that you always win.
- 25:21Speaker 2: I get so lucky though, like I know, I just luck.
- 25:24Speaker 2: So I'm hoping luck is today. I have a feeling
- 25:28Speaker 2: today I pinch the monkey. Oh my god, here we go. Okay,
- 25:32Speaker 2: we'll be back with birthdays.
- 25:50Speaker 1: We're back. I've got here seven celebrities with a birthday
- 25:57Speaker 1: this week. M all right, we're gonna start with Tanya. Okay,
- 26:05Speaker 1: you'll give the agent, Becca will say hi, or Laura.
- 26:07Speaker 1: We'll go back and forth, and whoever gets the most
- 26:09Speaker 1: of the seven correct, is our winner. All right, Tanya,
- 26:13Speaker 1: we begin with you, and who's got a birthday this week?
- 26:16Speaker 1: Dakota Fanning has a birthday this week, and I'm asking
- 26:18Speaker 1: you how old is she turning this week? Tanya?
- 26:21Speaker 3: My god, is Dakota the older the younger?
- 26:23Speaker 1: Well, I can't answer that question.
- 26:27Speaker 3: I'm gonna say Dakota is turning twenty nine.
- 26:30Speaker 1: Twenty nine? Beca? Is she how older or younger? We'll
- 26:33Speaker 1: go that way.
- 26:34Speaker 2: Older.
- 26:34Speaker 1: She's thirty two, very nice. Becca is off to an
- 26:36Speaker 1: early lady, but I just know.
- 26:39Speaker 2: She's older than that.
- 26:41Speaker 3: Elle Fanning is the older one though, No, she's the
- 26:43Speaker 3: younger one.
- 26:43Speaker 1: Yeah, shoes, all right, Beca, this one's for you Emily Blunt.
- 26:48Speaker 1: What do you think about Emily Blunt? What a birthday
- 26:50Speaker 1: we're looking at there?
- 26:51Speaker 2: I'm going to guess Emily is.
- 26:56Speaker 1: Forty four, can turn forty four? That is incorrect. Tanya
- 26:59Speaker 1: is Emily Blunt old or younger than the forty four?
- 27:02Speaker 1: She is turning forty three? Now, Tanya, you should have
- 27:10Speaker 1: an advantage on this one. I think you dated him briefly.
- 27:13Speaker 1: Josh Grobin hardly.
- 27:17Speaker 3: I talked to him up, Yeah, yeah, brave brief.
- 27:21Speaker 1: Kind of did. That was the one where she she
- 27:24Speaker 1: crowdsourced all of her responses amongst the staff and got
- 27:27Speaker 1: a really nice back and forth going.
- 27:29Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 27:29Speaker 1: But the second she tried to on.
- 27:31Speaker 3: Her weekend, so I didn't have anybody around.
- 27:34Speaker 2: Happy Saturday, No, I can't remember.
- 27:36Speaker 1: That was Matthew Perry got Happy Saturday.
- 27:38Speaker 3: Yeah, but she.
- 27:39Speaker 1: Said something to him on her own without running it
- 27:41Speaker 1: by Dimitrio Sierrat. She never heard good.
- 27:45Speaker 2: Riddance, you know.
- 27:47Speaker 1: Yeah, how old is Josh Grobin turning this week?
- 27:51Speaker 3: Forty seven?
- 27:53Speaker 1: Okay, going forty seven? Older or younger? Becca?
- 27:56Speaker 2: Younger?
- 27:56Speaker 1: He is turning forty five? Right, Becca's off to it?
- 28:00Speaker 1: Three nothing lead We might have been going and see
- 28:01Speaker 1: if she gets a clean sweeper young book Josh gro Indeed, Becca,
- 28:05Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler has a birthday this week How old is
- 28:07Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler turning?
- 28:10Speaker 2: I think Chelsea Handler is turning fifty four?
- 28:14Speaker 1: Fifty four older or younger? Tanya younger, she's fifty one.
- 28:20Speaker 1: It's three to one. There could be a comeback of
- 28:22Speaker 1: bruin here because this kind of right in Tiny's wheelhouse, Tanya.
- 28:26Speaker 1: How old is Justin Bieber this weekend? The beebes has
- 28:31Speaker 1: a birthday on Sunday?
- 28:32Speaker 3: Okay, I know this because he is going to be
- 28:41Speaker 3: thirty three.
- 28:42Speaker 1: He is not going to be thirty three older or younger.
- 28:45Speaker 1: Re Becca for a pretty major steel here.
- 28:47Speaker 2: If you pull this off, I feel like he's younger.
- 28:51Speaker 1: He's turning thirty two years old. And Becca snakes Bieber
- 28:55Speaker 1: away from Tanya.
- 28:56Speaker 3: Because he's younger than Selena.
- 29:01Speaker 1: I got two more of you on him, four a lot?
- 29:04Speaker 2: Why not?
- 29:04Speaker 1: How old is Kesha turning this weekend? Becca?
- 29:06Speaker 2: Oh, Kesha? I would think that Kesha's thirty.
- 29:10Speaker 1: Six, thirty six older, younger, Tanya younger. She is turning
- 29:13Speaker 1: thirty nine five to one. And finally, how about Mark
- 29:20Speaker 1: Paul Gossler saved by the bell. Yes, he's Zach. How
- 29:25Speaker 1: old is he turning? This weekend?
- 29:27Speaker 3: Me my turn, here's your.
- 29:28Speaker 1: Turn, your last chance. Only you have one point, but
- 29:32Speaker 1: fifty fifty the big five? Oh is not the case
- 29:35Speaker 1: this weekend? Older or younger? Becca younger? Oh, he's fifty two.
- 29:39Speaker 1: This weekend gets one final score Becca five, Tanya two,
- 29:44Speaker 1: and she's taking it as a moral victory, pulling off
- 29:46Speaker 1: Mark Paul at the end.
- 29:47Speaker 2: There, good job, tom Age.
- 29:50Speaker 1: Yeah no you don't.
- 29:52Speaker 3: Yeah, damn, that's okay. Next time another loss.
- 29:59Speaker 2: Maybe you can lose the most and that's how you win,
- 30:05Speaker 2: chage it. You can be the worst at the game.
- 30:10Speaker 2: You can be the very worst, and that's how you
- 30:12Speaker 2: win it being the very worst.
- 30:13Speaker 3: When my comeback arc starts arcing, you're gonna be sorry.
- 30:18Speaker 3: I'm gonna be proud to say when I start, I'm
- 30:22Speaker 3: not only just gonna be guessing them right, I'm gonna
- 30:24Speaker 3: guess their ages correctly.
- 30:26Speaker 2: Just like not even.
- 30:27Speaker 3: Off the tip. Yeah.
- 30:30Speaker 2: I can't wait for that.
- 30:31Speaker 3: Thank you.
- 30:32Speaker 2: We are done for the day. But we love you
- 30:35Speaker 2: so much. Our love you, our episodes end, but our
- 30:37Speaker 2: love does not guess exactly. I hope you have a
- 30:41Speaker 2: wonderful weekend.
- 30:43Speaker 3: Yes, filled with love and cuddles and if you like
- 30:47Speaker 3: that really good television.
- 30:51Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all the things. I'm We're in the Bahamas. Actually,
- 30:55Speaker 2: as we speak, we're in the Mamas.
- 30:57Speaker 3: That's right.
- 30:58Speaker 2: And and I've already been thinking about sharks a lot,
- 31:02Speaker 2: so just let you know my brain has been reeling.
- 31:05Speaker 2: I told Haley we can swim. It's more about her
- 31:08Speaker 2: because I stay in shallow waters, which I also know
- 31:11Speaker 2: sharks can get in shallow waters. But I tell her
- 31:14Speaker 2: that she just can't go deep, got it, Yeah, just
- 31:18Speaker 2: limitations on, but she doesn't listen, so then I'm just
- 31:21Speaker 2: left stressed.
- 31:22Speaker 3: I don't really liked submerging in water as of late,
- 31:25Speaker 3: so I'm not I'm not sure. Okay, ever since the
- 31:29Speaker 3: New Year, just being completely submerged underwater hasn't really sounded
- 31:34Speaker 3: appealing to me.
- 31:35Speaker 2: I think it really good. It's very cleansing, especially in
- 31:38Speaker 2: the ocean.
- 31:39Speaker 3: We'll see.
- 31:39Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll keep you posted on that if don is submergent,
- 31:45Speaker 2: because we're here with the hard hitting news that's scrubbing in.
- 31:49Speaker 2: We love you so much of a ga