Latest / ok storytime / My sister made BAD decisions…and I’m the one paying for the consequences! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3093

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My sister made BAD decisions…and I’m the one paying for the consequences! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3093 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: My sister made bad decisions and I'm the one paying
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: for the consequences.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: That's a bad sister. I, male 21, have a twin sister.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: When we were 12, we emigrated to When we started university,
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: our parents paid for all our expenses so we could
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: focus on studying and not worry about working to pay
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: the bills.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: They had one condition.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: No having children before graduating, finding a job, and becoming
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: financially independent. I've been with my girlfriend, who is also 21,
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: for a year. My sister met Ed, male, 42 last year.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: From the start, my parents were against her dating an
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: older man. They had many talks with her, but.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: She insisted she... loved Ed.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Later, she told my parents she was pregnant. They are
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: not supportive of the pregnancy, which upset her. She told
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: them she didn't need their help, said she was quitting
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: school anyway. And went no contact. By the way, this
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: comes from Throwaway Sister Drama. If you want to submit
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: I'm Dakota.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: We're tired, but we're going to read this story.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: In a tired way.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: We're going to have our thoughts.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: In a tired way.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: I hope all of you have the same thoughts.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: In a tired way.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: And you can tell us what those thoughts are in
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: the comments. She messaged me yesterday saying Ed broke.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: Up with her and booted her out.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: They had been having... problems.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: And he has been seeing other women. She asked if
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: she could live with me until she figures things out.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: She is due in March.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: Here's the problem.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: If my parents find out, they will probably cut me
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: off financially too.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: I do not want to get involved in this drama.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: I am doing really well in school because I can
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: focus completely on studying without worrying about work. My girlfriend,
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: and we do not live together, thinks I'm being an a-hole.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: She says my sister is leaving an awful situation and
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: that I need to help her.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Here are my options.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Be a good brother and a decent person and help
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: out my sister and lose everything. Or tell my sister
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: that you made your bed, so enjoy laying on it.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: What is the reasonable solution to this situation? How do
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: I fix this without burning my future to the ground?
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: There's an edit here. My sister is due soon. Perhaps
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I wasn't clear enough. When she first found out she
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: was pregnant, she reached out to my parents. When our
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: parents told her that they won't support the pregnancy, she
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: said she and Ed are fine without them. Then after
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: the breakup, she reached out. But this time, my parents
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: refused to even talk to her. So she called me
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: instead as a last resort. Ed is a loser with
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: a crappy job. He is still legally married, but separated
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: for years from his wife, which he has children with.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: And there are some comments from OP.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: A downvoted comment asking why his parents would cut him off.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Because there is a huge drama between my parents and
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: my sister. They don't like the money they give to
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: me going to her. If I do, I'll get cut
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: off too, probably. Remember, I'm a person too, says Sorry,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: but yeah, you are the a-hole. Might not be easy,
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: but our moral strength is tested on whether we do
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: the right thing in the face of adversity, not just
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: when it's the easy choice. If you leave your twin
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: sister pregnant... That's right. I don't think OP's working at all.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: His parents are paying for it.
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: I don't know, man. This is tough. I don't know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Can you lie about it?
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: This is way too sticky of a situation for us
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: to be reading this at this time.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I was going to say the same thing.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: This is way too much mental.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Her contact state is 2.15 in the morning.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: In the morning.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: We've been at it since 3 p.m. I mean, you
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: either do that.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: I really do think there needs to be a hard
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: conversation about no one is in a position to be
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: able to take care of this child and provide for it.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: And you need to find something. I don't know, though.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: If any other family could help.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Who knows? Like, crazy. Crazy.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Lil Dippered Glow says, Also, talk openly with your parents
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: about your sister's situation and ask them if they think
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: You should take her in or help her out. I
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: realize you think they would cut off their assistance, but
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: you need to know for sure. OP says, Unfortunately, my
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: girlfriend can't. She lives with a roommate, too, in a studio,
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: and I live in a studio apartment. All our relatives
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: are back home. I'm going to call my parents and
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: beg them to help her, which is my only option
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: at this point. Penguin, it talks nom nom. I suppose
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: that by living in Canada, you guys have strong laws
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: that protect single parents and their children.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: She should fight that in court if able.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: You are in no obligation to help her, and she
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: kind of made her own bed, and your life may
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: be negatively affected if you let a baby move in
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: with you. Opie says, that is if she goes after Ed.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I mentioned about him helping, and she got upset and said,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: forget about him. Same commenter replies, unless something bad happened,
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: she needs to act like a grown-up, because she is,
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: and go to court, and not just forget He is
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: the father of this child.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: He needs to act like one. OP says, I completely agree.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: He is the father. He should pull his weight. My
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: sister wants nothing to do with Ed and expects me
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: to help her.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: She is... my sister, but I don't want my grades
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: to suffer either. OP also adds, Ed already has kids
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: with his wife. I'm not sure if he even wants
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: to be involved. It doesn't really matter what Ed wants.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: It matters what he did, which is knock up your sister.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: He was already involved when he decided to date someone
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: half his age.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Yes. He can be not involved and still help financially,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: but my sister told me to forget about him.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: Lucy loves apples.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Surely you can help her in other ways, such as
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: helping her apply for housing and benefits and supporting her
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: emotionally when the baby is born.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: The real a-holes are your parents, correct? Because what they
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: did was rather callous.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Opie says, To another downvoted commenter, Do they have other siblings,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: and where is she staying?
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: We do have other siblings. We have an 11-year-old brother.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Whoa. Holy age difference, Batman.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: She is, for now, staying at her friend's house, but
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: she has to leave by Friday. And OP expands, well,
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: I feel like an a-hole, but everyone warned her about
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: this creep. Even when she got pregnant, my parents talked
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: to her and she refused to listen. I agree that
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: it's my parents' job to support her, but now I'm
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: paying the price for her mistakes.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: I just don't think anyone can raise this kid, man.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: I don't think your sister can raise this kid.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: It's rough, dude.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Weekly Conversation 8 says, It's a studio apartment. Her living
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: there will probably be against his lease and seriously disrupt
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: his life and education. Imagine trying to study with a
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: crying baby and you have nowhere to go for a
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: quiet place to study. OP says, Oh my god, I
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: haven't even considered that. I doubt my landlord even allowed
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: her and her baby to stay with me. She is
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: unable to take care of her baby, says this commenter.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: What is her plan? Live with you in your studio
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: apartment for an unknown amount of time? Opie says yes
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: until she comes up with a plan.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Why does she need to wait to come up with
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: a plan? Your sister's ticking me off. I know she's
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: in a bad position, but she is ticking me off.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Her plan was, my twin brother, we're going to figure
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: this out together.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Like, take pregnancy out of this picture, and it's so clear.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Imagine this is a business decision. She's like, I'm going
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: to take my life savings. I'm going to take all
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: my money. I'm going to put it into this terrible business.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: And everyone went, do not do that. You're going to
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: lose all your money. And the person you're going into
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: business with is a crook. He's going to steal from you.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: And she goes, no, you're all stupid. And I'm going
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: to be a millionaire and rub it in your face.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: And she loses all of her money. And now she's like,
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I need your help. You'd go, absolutely not. You'd go
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: figure it out. We told you, everyone told you what was.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Going to happen. You did it anyway. I'm not helping you.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: This is the best help I could give you by
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: making you figure it out at rock bottom. But there's
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: a baby involved. OP also adds, When I asked her
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: what her plan was, she had none. When is she
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: planning to go back to work after giving birth? She
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: has no clue. Is she going after Ed for support?
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not. Then there's a permanent thing. She said no,
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: but she has no one and wants my help. What
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: does sister do for work? She now works part-time at
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: shoppers and apparently not getting along with her manager. I
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: really wish my parents would help her. I left multiple
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: messages for my parents. They have not called me back.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: And then later that day, I'm going to my parents'
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: place on Friday and hopefully they won't cut me off too,
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: but who knows really.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: There's another update.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Two days after the first post, probably my last update,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I managed to get a hold.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: Of my parents.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: It turns out they didn't reject my sister. They are
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: willing to help her, but only under their conditions. She
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: needs to go back to school when the baby is one.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: My parents will pay for her expenses and the baby's expenses.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: She's not allowed to party to date. or do anything
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: like that. My parents basically said that if she has
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: time to party or go on days, she has time
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: to take care of her baby. They will help with
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: childcare if she wants to study, rest, go to school, whatever.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: She can move in with them until she graduates and
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: gets a job that can support herself and the baby.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: In other words, my sister did not tell me the
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: whole story. Your sister is a liar. I called my
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: sister after this conversation and she said she didn't mention
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: any of that because this is extremely controlling, misogynistic, and toxic.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I say, I say, do it, block. That's insane. Insane
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that she knew what was on the table and she
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: still has the audacity to be like, misogynistic, toxic, can't
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: believe him. Holy crap, your sister is, oh dude, block.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: I think I would break down to her. And just
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: be like, if you don't do this, you're destroying. So
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: that you can destroy the life of yourself and your child.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: She said they can't control a grown woman or decide
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: her love life. I told her this is really her
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: only option. She said she's disgusted that I abandoned her
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: and put my own happiness first.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Holy crap, Block.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: I asked her what her plan was. She hung up.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: I know I probably deserve to be called an a-hole,
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: but I really cannot afford to quit school right now
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: to help her.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: And that's why you should not do that.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: And yeah, if that was my twin sister, I'd be
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: on my knees being like, you just gotta go home
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: and do what they're saying.
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: They're not wrong. It's not misogynistic. It's not toxic.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: She's still saying that stuff too? Block. You have a child.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: You're gonna have a child.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: What's your plan? To prove them wrong? I'd be like,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: you know what? Best of luck, sister. You had that option.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: You say peace.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: And speaking of peace, My sister-in-law.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: Kept nagging us for a visit.
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: But I don't want her here.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: You should visit somewhere else. I, 28 female, and my husband,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: 28 male, are expecting our first baby next month. We've
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: been married for over six years, and it took us
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: over a year to conceive. I live into the story.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from throwaway26225, and if you
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: slash okay.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: Story time subreddit.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah.
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: I'm Sophia.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give you some good advice, Goofly,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: but guess what? We don't have all the answers. You
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: should tell us what you would do in the comments,
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: because we're going to tell you what we're doing right now.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: My husband is in the military and deploys very early
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: next year for a long time. We are prepared for
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: that separation, but no, it will be hard on him
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to be a part... from our first baby during the
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: whole remaining first year of his life. We have two
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: months and a week where he'll be able to be present.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: In that time, we have three sets of our parents visiting,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: each between five days to two weeks long. None have
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: set days or durations except for my mom, who'd like
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: to be here for the first two weeks-ish after birth.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: My father and stepmother will visit next for around a
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: week sometime in early December to mid-December. No one is
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: able to visit during the holidays and we live states
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: away from most family. My husband's parents will be visiting
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: in early January to mid-January from anywhere from five days
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: to two weeks. They've given us different time frames and
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: I'd love for them to stay longer rather than a
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: shorter amount of time. We have my husband's brother and
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: wife in the same town as us. They may be
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: moving early January to another state. Now to the tricky part.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: My husband's sister, let's call her Stacy, is in her
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: mid-30s and has several kids. Stacy has been wanting us
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: to have kids for years. When we were trying, I've
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: received a lot of advice. And when it wasn't working,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: she made a lot of comments to others about how
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I truly didn't want kids. I do. and how she
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: thought I was hiding medical information.
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: I wasn't.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I became very self-conscious and went to a specialist to
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: get checked, and everything was normal. I told them, Stacy
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: and my husband's family, and they kept asking which exact
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: tests I did and for more information. I told them
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: my OB said it could take a bit over a
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: year for the last of the birth control pills I've
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: been using for seven years to clear from my system.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: I kept getting pressured, so I took an option from
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: the specialist to try a timed conceiving method with medication assistance.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: After a short window, it worked. From there, Stacey told
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: me what I needed to do to have a healthy baby.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: To try home birth or a center and to have
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: a doula. I tried to do as much as she recommended,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: but I feel most comfortable at a hospital as I'm
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: having a high-risk pregnancy due to a health condition I have.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Doulas cost $ 1. 5k on average and that wasn't in our budget.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I tried to be very kind about it and explained
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: to her my decisions as months went by. Every time
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't agree to something, I don't want to try hypnobirthing.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: or told her I didn't know yet. We weren't sure
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: if insurance could help with a doula's cost. I would
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: get a lot of texts for days to change my mind.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: We found out a doula isn't covered, and we told
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: her we couldn't afford one. She offered to cover the cost,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: which is incredibly generous, and I initially said no because
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: that's too much to ask for. But after a couple
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: of days of her texting and my husband's mother calling us,
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: there were some things I stood by, like finding out
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: our baby's gender. My husband and I really wanted to know,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: and choosing a hospital to give birth at, but it's
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: hard having my own opinions and trying to stick by them.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I don't want to upset Stacey and cause more stress
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: for my husband, who also tries to stay in good
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: graces with his family. There are many other things she
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: wants me to do that I don't want to, but
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I do my best to make everyone happy and to
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: prioritize my baby as well. There has been at least
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: one week a month where I get days of text
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: change on what to do and what not to do,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: and if I don't agree... it can get very blown
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: up fast. A month ago, Stacey asked to come out
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: for a few days to meet her son. My husband
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: and I talked about it and decided to say no.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: He has to go back into work starting in January
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: to prepare for the deployment, and he could leave any
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: time from the very end of January to early February.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: No solid dates have been given. After his parents leave
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: in mid-January, we'd have a matter of weeks before he leaves.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: While we do get some time in December to ourselves
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: and our son, we have this January to February window
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: to ourselves as well. My husband doesn't get a lot
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: of time to bond with our son before being gone
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: most of 2026, and we don't get much time to
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: adjust his parents and get to know our new immediate family.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: We want to give our parents a lot of time
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: to meet our son, and we also want time to
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: adjust for ourselves. We explained this to Stacy, and she
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: seemed to accept it after a few days of texts
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: and calls. It was hard for my husband to get
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: her to understand. If he weren't deploying, we'd be more
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: than happy to have her over. My husband's grandmother just
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: told us this week she'd be in the area for
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: a wedding and wanted to visit during the time my
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: husband's parents are visiting in January. None of our parents
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: can be here at the same time. And his grandmother
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: doesn't get along with most of his family. He hasn't
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: told her yet that she can't stay with us because
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: his parents will be here. But we could offer to
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: meet for a dinner if she stays nearby.
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: You should tell her.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: Because it seems like she's going to be mad.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. This is only because she's already in the area.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: And we'd feel awful saying a complete no.
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: Say complete no.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: So you're going to be like, yeah, you can probably
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: stay here. And then when she gets here, she can't
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: stay here.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: What?
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: We can't completely tell her no. Yes, you can if
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: there's no room in your house.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: What?
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: My husband and I can be people pleasers at times
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: and we struggle with letting people down. Stacey heard this
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: and blew up my husband's phone after 6 p.m.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: Last night.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: She's mad that we are allowing the grandmother to visit
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: but not her. Side note, I'm also not letting any
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: more of my family.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: Siblings, grandparents, etc. visit either.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: She doesn't realize that we aren't hosting their grandmother but
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: we plan to call Stacey tonight to explain this. My
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: husband had to work until 11 p.m. last night and
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: go in at 6 a.m., so we couldn't call her
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: and chat then. My husband did respond to a few
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: texts to tell her we are still keeping it to
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: parents only and reminded her that I told some of
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: my family no as well. This did not go over well.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Here is her response directly to me via our text chain. Hi,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I just really want to see my brother as a
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: father for the first time in his life. And it
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: just so happens he has a time crunch before he
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: leaves too. It hurts being lumped and compared to your
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: aunt and sister or other family members when I'm his
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: sister and I'm just wanting to see my brother and
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: support him before he goes too. It would be amazing
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: spending the time seeing him become a father. He got
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: to do this for me and for her son and
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: for his brother. It's that support from your side of
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: the family. Husband literally only has his folks and me
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: and I was literally only planning on three nights and
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: then leaving because it's such travels and it's a lot
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: for me to go solo. So I was hoping I
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: could do this and I've offered to stay at a
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: hotel or their brother's house and I'm still being told no.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Grandma blank doesn't compare honestly and there is a history there.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Really hurtful and I feel a very personal dig even
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: if husband says it's not. I'm not your side of
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: the family. I'm husband's only other sibling other than brother.
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: Who lives there.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: So I ask how could this not feel like a
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: personal dig? I don't know why you wish not to
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: allow me to come visit and support your husband as
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: his sister. Especially since I offered to stay somewhere else.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I'm really hurt deeply. After all the support and time
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: and energy, it hurts to be told no and given
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: all these excuses.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: Shut up. Shut up.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, I could see her side. I could see
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: like she just wants to be supportive and help and whatever.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: And they're just like, no, not right now. You know,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: it might work for you, but it might not work
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: for them. And it has to be, it has to
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: work for both sides of the party. So I didn't
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: text Stacey before or after this as my husband wants
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: to do his best to handle the situation.
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: The last four days text chain ended two days ago.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: It was about Stacey feeling like I'm very cold about
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: pregnancy and not being open and honest when I've been
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: very honest to a fault. I've told her about all
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: of my health struggles. I'm even on bed rest right
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: now because I've been incredibly sick this whole pregnancy. I'm
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: so excited to become a mom and meet my son,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: but the pregnancy has been incredibly hard on my health.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I'm at risk for delivering early, so my husband is
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: doing his best to help me manage anything stressful. He
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: plans to call Stacey tonight, but Stacey did also threaten
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: to cut us out of her lives last night, called
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: their brother for hours until almost 11 p.m., has left
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: family group chats today, and has called my husband's parents today,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: who now also want to call him. We try so
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: hard to make everyone happy, and we almost caved to
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: allowing her to visit despite our timeline, but now we
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: feel lost. My husband's brother and his wife are trying
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: to back us up, but I feel like a villain
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: for causing this situation. Out of my husband and I,
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: I've been advocating more for him to get as much
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: bonding time with our son before he deploys. And I'm
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: a bit selfish myself wanting time to adjust with just us.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: That's not selfish. It's your family. You're allowed to want
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: to do stuff with just your family.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I know it will be a lot to become parents,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: figure out the new us and lifestyle, and to connect
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: with our son as a solid team. As cheesy as
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: it all sounds. Even our parents told us to do
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: so months ago. But now I worry his parents may
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: be changing their minds on that. My husband feels bad
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: for telling Stacey no too and almost changed his mind yesterday.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: He agrees though that we could really use this time
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: together between parents coming and going. I also had an
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: OB appointment today where they did warn me I may
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: deliver early in the next week given the amount of
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: symptoms I've been having four weeks prior to my due date.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: Oh, he's got too much to worry about. Not even
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: including sister-in-law.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: You know, you have a high risk pregnancy. You're literally
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: on bedrest. You're trying to figure out who can visit,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: who can't visit. Also, your husband is leaving to go
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: do other things for work. Like you're trying to adjust
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: as best as you can. And it's hard to allow
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: other people to come in and be like, oh, you
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: should do this, do this, blah, blah, blah.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: And then just like, ah, and also your hormones are everywhere.
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah. And you're pregnant.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: If we end up having extra weeks of time with
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: an early delivery, I'd be willing to try and have
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Stacy over at some point for a few days but
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: we don't know for sure and we were pressured to
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: give answers right away in the past so we did
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I'm so worried that this is causing a rift in
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: my husband's family with us Stacy has severe anxiety which
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: can be why we get a lot of texts at
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: times about matters and I know she truly loves my
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: husband and wants the best for him Am I the
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: a-hole for standing by my husband and I's decision to
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: not have her visit?
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: I believe that if.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I change my mind and cave, my husband will too.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: He would like her to meet our son and knows
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: it would mean a lot, but he knows how hard
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: it will be to lose more time with just us
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: and hosting a lot of people within a month and
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: a half of delivering our son. It's the easier route
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: at this point to cave. I did offer Stacey to
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: visit us after my husband deploys and we do plan
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: to visit her, and his side of the family for
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Christmas in 2026 after he gets back from the deployment.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: It absolutely stinks to have to wait so long, so
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: I feel bad about the long wait for Stacey to
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: get to visit and meet her son. He wasn't enthusiastic
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: about visiting after my husband leaves. My husband mentioned this thread,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: and while I wasn't planning on posting here, I do
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: think it would be wise for me to see if
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I'm being the a-hole. I want to do what's best,
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: even if it isn't what I'd like. Next year will
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: be hard no matter what, and I worry for my
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: husband missing out on so many milestones in our son's life.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do my best to let extended family
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: meet him by flying out to visit everyone while he's gone.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make sure my husband gets all of
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: the updates and as much time video calling our son
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: as he wants. I want to make next year as
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: easy as possible on him and us. I'm not sure
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: if I'm in the wrong here, And I'm incredibly torn
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: about this situation.
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: Am I the a-hole?
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: No. No.
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: No, you're not.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: You're allowed to do what you want to do.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: It's your baby. It's your family. Stop letting people bully
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: you around. Would it be better if I changed my
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: mind about Stacey visiting?
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Stop, girl.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: Stop it. Wake up.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Stop.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: Stop letting her walk all over.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: You stop caving because once you give her that she's
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: gonna keep taking keep taking keep taking and just making
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: she knows what's gonna make you cave and that's not
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: cool that's not a great relationship to have especially with
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: someone who you want to be close with and who
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: you should be close with and i do think that
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: maybe your husband needs to deal with her a little
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: more um i think like he does and obviously he's
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: busy and you're busy and whatnot and maybe just sit
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: down and hash it out over the phone or something
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: because i know she doesn't live there but There's not
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: any problem with just trying to figure it out.
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: But that is the end of that story. I fired
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: my little sister.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: My husband secretly kept paying her.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Why is he doing that?
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: My husband, 40 male, and I, 35 female, run a
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: company together. He is the CEO, and I am the COO.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: We work well as a team. He is more diplomatic
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: and conflict-averse. While I focus on finances, operations, and making
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: difficult decisions when necessary. My younger sister, 22 female, worked
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: for us part-time while studying.
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: Over time, she.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Repeatedly caused problems, including trying to create tension between my
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: husband and me, speaking negatively about colleagues, and making disrespectful
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: comments towards me. After several incidents, we decided to terminate
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: her employment. Although her employment officially ends on the 10th
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: of the month, I recently learned that my husband promised
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: to continue paying her until the end of the month
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: because she wants to go on vacation with her friends,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: and I quote, she needs money. She made him feel guilty.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: She has savings, I think, more than 6K. By the way,
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: this comes from throwaway2204, and if you want to submit
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash OK story
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: time subreddit.
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: I'm Savannah.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: I'm Sophia.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: guess what? We don't have all the answers, surprisingly. But
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: we're going to tell you what we would do, and
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: let us know what you would do.
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: Down in the comments.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Well, guess how my husband reacted to that?
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: He agreed.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: This means she will receive several hundred euros she has
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: not earned despite having very few financial obligations. She lives
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: with my parents and doesn't pay rent and substantial savings.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: She was also the only one in the company who
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: always asked if the money.
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: Will come punctually. It was never late.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: It always bothered me, especially because she refused to do
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: some of the tasks we gave her. It wasn't easy
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: with her. But that's not the point. I just want
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: to clarify that she did a lot of mistakes and
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: once even refused to attend a team's meeting because we
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: told her it will happen between 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: and she thought it was not fair to make her
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: wait two hours. Those two hours were paid, so she
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: was sitting at home doing nothing. This caused a lot
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: of tension and we had to wait for her during
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: the meeting. It was embarrassing, but we talked to her
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: and tried to explain that we do not accept this behavior,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: but her attitude never changed. Stupid me forgot how manipulative
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: she can be. She did that a lot with my parents.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: She also convinced my husband to pick up her work
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: equipment because she doesn't want to bring it to the company.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I called her and told her straight up that we
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: are not paying her more than she deserves. Currently, we
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: released her from her duties and placed her on paid
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: leave until the 10th. She denied it first. Then she said,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: it's something I discussed with my boss and not with you.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: She wouldn't even receive the extra money as salary just
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: as bonus money. I told her she needs to bring
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: the work equipment herself to the company, and she freaked out.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: It's just 30 minutes with the car, but she doesn't
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: have a car. Guess who has a car? Our stay-at-home mother.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: And my sister is the youngest and only one who
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: lives at home. However, I also told her she will
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: only get what she legally deserves. So Reddit, am I
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: the a-hole for telling my sister that she won't get
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: any money from us? I am not responsible for her vacation,
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: and I refuse to pay anything towards her vacation.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Why is everyone allowing her to just do whatever she wants?
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: This is so weird.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I feel like she's not even manipulating anyone. She's like,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I want that.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: And people just do it.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: She's like, give me a job. And they're like, okay.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Sure. Yeah, I don't really know what's going on.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: How old was she again? She's the youngest. She's 22,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: living at home. Yes, there we go. I would first...
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, yo, husband... Why? Why are you doing that?
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, whatever makes it easier to get away from
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: you and get away from this job. Great. But this
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: is not fair. This is not fair in any way,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: shape or form. So why are we doing this?
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Can't she just like, I don't know, figure it out
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: like everyone else in the world?
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Is that too much to ask?
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: There are some comments.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Comment one. He is not going to be a good
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: CEO if he is like that. He will run the
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: company into the ground. OP responds. I told him the same,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: but he says I'm cruel and heartless. Mind you, there
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: was a time when we had nothing to eat and
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: I made pasta with butter because we couldn't afford anything else.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: I am not gifting money. I pay what I owe
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: and that's it. Comment number two says he called you
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: cruel and heartless because you didn't want to give your
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: spoiled sister who essentially has no bills and insulted you
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: and was a bad worker free money? Look into that more.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Question him. Why does she have him concerned for her vacation?
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Why did he hide it from you? She was eight
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: when I married him. She is the youngest in our
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: family and she knows how to get what she wants.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I see that a lot with my parents. He said
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: he didn't want any fights or arguments and she said
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: it's not fair for her because she has to find
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: a new job within three weeks and she's a student.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: I think she made him feel guilty. No, there's no
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: spicy related relationship. She's into girls. I know that many
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: people cheat, but he is an introvert and not that
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: kind of person. He is just too nice, unfortunately. One
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: of my ex-co-workers did overtime. It was not approved and
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: we had to fire him and my husband paid his
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: overtime to avoid a conflict. I wasn't happy about that,
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: but back then, not in the position I am today.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: So your husband just.
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: So, yeah.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know. That's a weird thing to do. I
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: fired you, but you know what? Just because I want
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: to keep things at peace, I will pay you after
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: you're fired.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is weird to go behind your wife's back
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: and just give people money.
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: The reason they got fired was because of that reason.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Number three says, the problem isn't your sister, it's your husband.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: He's the one who promised to pay her when she'd
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: already been dismissed from employment. OP responds, yes, you are right.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Thanks for your comment. He told her that he would
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: pay for it out of his personal funds, meaning from
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: our joint finances.
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: What?
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: As she has no legal entitlement to this payment. She
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: cried and said that she really wanted to go on
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: vacation with her friends and had already committed to the trip.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: My husband is an introverted person who does not have
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: a large social circle and is easily overwhelmed by emotionally
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: charged situations. He particularly struggles when confronted with tears or
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: emotional pressure.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Sounds like your sister's forte.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but also sounds like your husband needs to kind
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: of grow some.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, where's that spine? Why are we such a CPP?
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: Comment number four.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: She didn't earn the money, so there's no reason to
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: give it to her.
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: She sounds problematic and entitled.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: OP responds, she is. We once had a disagreement about
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: vacation entitlement. Because she works part-time, she believed her vacation
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: day should only be counted against the three days she
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: works per week, which would have resulted in roughly 12
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: weeks of vacation per year. Our policy is that all
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: employees receive the same entitlement of six weeks per year,
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: which is already very generous. Legally, it would be four weeks,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: especially for part-time staff, as everyone except my husband and
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I works either 20 or 30 hours per week. We
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: believe that our employees are happier and healthier when they
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: are not overworked. When I explained that she was not
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: entitled to 12 weeks of vacation, she became very upset
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and argued that she deserved it as a student and
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: even said that students should have more vacations entitlement in
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: order to study better.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Shut up. Shut up.
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: Being a student isn't part of the job, though.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: I'm a student. I deserve better than you.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, no. You're just like everyone else. You just
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: happen to be a student as well. Like, if you
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: don't like how it is, don't take the job.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I cannot wait for her to be an adult and
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: be like, I'm an adult. I deserve better than you.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: In reality, she works 20 hours per week and only
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: attends university once a week.
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: Sorry?
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Is that even a student?
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: That's not even a full-time student. Unless she's stacking all
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: of her classes onto one day.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: She's a student. Which is also, don't do that.
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: That's crazy. She wouldn't even be a full-time student if
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: she was doing that. She's a student.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: She has to study and she needs 12 weeks of.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Vacation for one day. Guys, you know what she is
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: full time? A full time princess.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Aww.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Aww. Give her her tiara.
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you don't get any pay. You do get a tiara.
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: There's an update.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: First of all, thank you to everyone who commented. I
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: wrote the original post late at night here in Europe
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: while I was angry and I honestly didn't expect so
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: many people to respond. Reading through the comments made me
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: realize that I was so focused on my sister's behavior
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: that I wasn't paying enough attention to my husband's role
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: in all of this. A lot of you were right.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, that makes sense. Yeah. OP's older, youngest sister
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: makes sense. That's sibling stuff.
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: You've seen it your entire life. It's just there.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: And you're like, I hate that.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: But I think it's both obviously your husband and your sister.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Especially because this wasn't the first time your husband
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: has done something like this.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: My sister was disrespectful and her termination was long overdue,
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: but my husband should never have made promises behind my back.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: For some context, I'm the operations manager of the company.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: We normally discuss every major financial decision together. I only
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: stepped into this role because the previous operator's manager was terrible.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: And since then, I've introduced a lot of structure that
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: simply didn't exist before. We didn't have NDAs or even
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: a formal key Hanover process. Things are a lot more
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: organized now, and the company is in a much better
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: position than it was when I started. My husband and
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I are complete opposites when it comes to management. He's
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: the good cop, and I'm the bad cop.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. He's the giving cop. He
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: likes to give. You're the realistic cop who knows that's
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: not right. Big difference.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I don't mind being the bad cop because I'm fair.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I'll always give people what they're entitled to, but I
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: won't bend the rules just because someone is upset. My husband,
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: on the other hand, hates conflict. He wants everyone to
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: be happy, gets uncomfortable when people are emotional, and has
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: a very hard time saying no. He's genuinely one of
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: the kindest people I've ever met, but sometimes he's so
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: trusting that it's almost naive.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: At a point, it's not even nice anymore. He's just
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: a CPP. He just likes to please everyone. I get it,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: but if he's going to be like a CEO or
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: like a higher up, he needs to learn how to
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: say no.
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah. This husband sounds like me. Dang it.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like if someone asked you something, like your
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: sister was mean to you, and then they said please,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you'd be like, all right, you said please.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: If it was my sister, no. Now, if it was
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: anyone else, yes.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: Like a random stranger.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Like, give me your wallet. You know what? Give me
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: your wallet.
• 33:05
  Speaker 5: I treat strangers so well.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Give me your wallet.
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: I don't have it on me. Okay.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: That's all it takes.
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: Or else I would.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Anyone out there who sees Savannah on the street, go
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: up to her, be like, could I have your wallet? Thanks.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: She'll do it.
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: You're like, well, yeah, what do you need it for?
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: Are you going to do a magic trick?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I would magically make your bank account look really bad.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: After everything happened, he drove to the office and spent
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: the night there. The next day, he talked to his
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: father about the situation. His father listened to the whole
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: story and then asked him, If it wouldn't be better
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: if I were the CEO, that apparently hit him harder
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: than anything I said. There is a little bit left here.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: What are we doing?
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: This is a wake-up call for your husband. This needs
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: to happen. The fact that he promised your sister the money,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: is it too late now? She doesn't deserve it. This
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: is all really dumb. I'd be like, don't give her
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: the money. If it were anyone else, I don't care. Sister,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: the random person that works here, Stop giving people money
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: when they are terminated. It makes no sense.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be like, do you want to, like, how does,
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: you know, people aren't going to take us seriously as
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: a company if this is what you're going to do.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: If this, like, comes out that, like, you know, if
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: we fire people, we still, like, pay them all this money.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine? I work there for a day and
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: you're like, you know what? We're firing you. You gotta
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: let you go. Here's more money.
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: I'd be like, I'll quit every day.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Especially if it's coming from your personal funds. That's blatantly stupid.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: What are we doing?
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: It's not even like the company's paying. It's just like, oh,
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: I just feel bad.
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: I'll pay you.
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: And it's like, no, that's our money. What are you doing?
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Later, my husband called and apologized. He admitted that when
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: my sister started crying, he completely shut down. He didn't
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: know how to deal with it and just wanted the
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: whole situation to end as quickly as possible because he
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: hates emotional confrontation.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: All right, OP, you start crying harder.
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: There you go. You just have to manipulate this man.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: Manipulate him more than your sister.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: No, don't do that. That's bad. But you gotta be like...
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Stop it. Stop it. Grow a spine.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: He promised me that he will never make financial commitments
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: on behalf of the company again without discussing them.
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: With me first.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: As for my sister, she will receive exactly what she
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: is entitled to and nothing more. The extra money that
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: was promised is off the table.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: If she doesn't return the company equipment she still has...
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: The value will be deducted from her final paycheck, which
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: I've already made clear to her, so that's where things stand.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: My husband apologized, my sister isn't getting a special payout,
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: and hopefully this whole mess has taught us that family
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: and business are usually a terrible combination.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: Dang.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, yeah.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes I can see it. But if you guys
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: are understanding and have good communication and work well together, then.
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, some people work.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: It's just any workplace.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, some people can work well together. Other people can't.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: I have always worked with my friends, no matter what,
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: and it's so funny.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Bless you.
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: Bless you.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Thanks.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: And so I always find it really funny that some
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: people can't work with their friends.
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: They're like, no, I can't. I only work with my friends.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: It's terrible.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I hate it. Why are you closing a window?
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: It's daft in here.
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: Daft? It's daft in here.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: It's daft.
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: Two.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Let's go! Usa! Usa!
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: Usa!
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Butterfly, just give Kion the updates throughout the stream.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Well, Sofia was like, I just hope both teams win.
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: I didn't say I hope both teams win. I said
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: it doesn't matter which team wins because I.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Win either way. Come on, Elmo. Pick a side.
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: I'll pick a side for the next one. This one
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: doesn't matter.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: This is like the biggest one for you. What are
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: you talking about?
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: Whoever wins, I win.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: True.
• 37:07
  Speaker 5: It's fine for me.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: Do your parents care? Do you, like, text your parents?
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: My parents don't care about sports. My family's not sports people.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: I feel like the World Cup is more than just sports, though.
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, like, in that sense, like, we're like, oh,
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: that's cool. Like, wow. Ronan Q, what are.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: We talking about? We're talking about balls.
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: Wait, was that the end of the story?
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that's the end of that story.
• 37:29
  Speaker 5: That was the end of that story, and we got
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: another one coming right up.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite short king. We're going to
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors. My brother kept a secret hidden
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: from his partner, so I stepped in. Ooh, big step.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: My brother, 27 male, was in an accident when he
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: was 19. This accident changed everything about both his life
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: and the lives of my sister, 22 female, myself, 24 male,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: and our parents. Four years after his accident, both my
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: sister and I became his caregivers. Years have passed and
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: my brother has mostly recovered to the point where he
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: can live on his own and function almost like anybody else.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: We're all so incredibly proud of how far he's come
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: and so happy to see him back to his old
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: self again. This is where the issue started. His new boyfriend,
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: 28 male, is the sweetest, kindest, most upfront person on
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: the face of the planet. He's also very open and
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: honest about his own hardships that he's faced in his life,
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: and is always talking about how honesty is the most
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: vital part of his healing process. When my brother first
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: started seeing him, I figured that he would have already
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: told him about his disability. And yet, three months later,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: when I officially met his new boyfriend, it became blazingly
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: obvious to both my sister and I that he never
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: told his boyfriend.
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: Well, why would he need to?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user NewTangalo1719. Or Tangelo?
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: One of those.
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: Tangelo. Tangelo.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: to the r slash OKStoreTime subreddit. I'm Kian. I'm Savannah.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia. And we're here to give good advice goofily.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: We don't have all the answers. We only know what
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: we do. So let us know what you do down
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: in the comments down below. As Opie says, I wanted
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: to talk to his boyfriend right away, but my sister
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: told me not to. That I should let my brother
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: tell his boyfriend in time. I agree.
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's not your thing to tell.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: Especially if your brother is recovering. And he's like back
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: to his old self. Yeah.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, don't ruin it. Little B.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Well, OP continues saying that time never seemed to come.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Almost a year later, I went to help my brother
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: move into his boyfriend's apartment and there was no thought
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: or care.
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: That's so messed up.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: That's bad and wrong.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: A-hole move.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: That is badong. Bad and wrong.
• 39:58
  Speaker 5: Badong. That's badong, baby.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: His boyfriend had told me that he was very aware
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: of his disability, but what he knew only scratched the surface.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I explained what things my brother might need help with,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: even though he never asked for it, and I figured
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: it was over. A week ago, my brother called me,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: cussing me out for going behind his back and sharing
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: those details with his boyfriend. I thought I was helping him.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Figured it was too much for him to explain on
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: his own, and I'd rather sleep at night knowing that
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: the man in bed next to my brother knew how
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: to help him completely. My brother insisted that it wasn't
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: my story to tell, and I get that to an extent,
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: but the story did need to be told. So, am
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I the a-hole? And there's an edit, but I think
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: you're the a-hole.
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you're the a-hole. I don't, you didn't
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: need to tell him that.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Like, obviously this was a big thing for him, and
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: you need to let him say that. That's like, Basically,
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: you know, that's like stealing his.
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: Like chance to come out.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like he I guess it wouldn't I
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: couldn't relate it to dating because you would know. But
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: but it's like, I don't know. It's just something that
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: he has to do himself. And, you know, they have
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: to sit down and have that conversation.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: They will i mean you can talk to your brother
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: about it and be like hey i really think you
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: know try to convince him to tell it but you
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: you can't take that away from him you.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Know truly i mean his boyfriend did know on the
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: surface of what's going on your sister told you you
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: literally asked your sister should i tell him and she
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: said don't it's not your place it was never your
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: place to tell him yeah i don't know i think
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: it was an a-hole thing to do uh There's an edit.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: For added context, yes, there is an aspect of danger
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: and safety that does come into play. If I didn't
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: think it may save his life one day, I wouldn't
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: have told it. There is an aspect of his disability
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: that would be almost impossible to hide from a stranger,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: let alone his partner. They've been dating for a year,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: so you think his partner wouldn't know? So, that very
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: visible aspect was the part that his boyfriend did know about.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: My brother has never been ashamed of his disability. That's
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: why I found it so strange that he had kept
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: so much of it hidden from his boyfriend. And there's
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: a consensus. What do we think?
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: I think you're the a-hole. I think they're going to
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: say you're the a-hole. You should have at least gone
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: to your brother and said, hey, I've noticed that you're
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: doing things that, you know, you shouldn't be doing because
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: of your disability. Have you talked to your partner about that?
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Consensus.
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: A-hole.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we kind of called that. Opie continues saying, And
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: we all agree on that. Update three days later. So,
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I was up all last night reading the comments and
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: going over the situation with my girlfriend. This morning, my
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: girlfriend and my brother's boyfriend got the two of us
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: together to talk about it through. They had been both
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: dealing with our separate freakouts for the last week and
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: had already decided to get us together before I had
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: made my post. She's actually the greatest person on the planet.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Now there's two people that's the greatest person on the
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: planet now. You said that about your brother's boyfriend and
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: now your girlfriend.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: They can't all be the greatest.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: Who's the greatest? Me!
• 43:16
  Speaker 5: Why hasn't he mentioned me yet? I'm really, I'm concerned.
• 43:20
  Speaker 5: Did they forget about me?
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: Opie continues saying, my brother and I had a long
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: conversation about everything that happened. I started off with him
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: cussing me out and me apologizing. And then we talked
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: about his accident and the years afterwards for the first time.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Usually we just talk about... It says sporks.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Sporks.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: I think it's sports.
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: I also think it's sports, but I really hope that
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: it is sports.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: I really want it to be sporks. It says sports
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: with a K.
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: I truly hope what they usually talk about is sports.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Which is hilarious. But I'm going to go with sports.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: So usually we just talk about sports or he updates
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: me on what's going on with the fam back home.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: But we had a real conversation about our feelings. Neither
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: of us talk about that stuff. We were raised to
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: be real men and keep those to ourselves. Lucky for us,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: we have partners who are very in tune with their
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: more mushy sides. He told me how he felt like
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: I never stopped seeing him the way that I did
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: the night of his accident. And he's right. I think
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: for years I've seen him the way that I saw
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: him that night. I'd never really gotten to tell him
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: about what that was like on my end. I had
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: been so caught up in making sure that he was
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: okay that it never really occurred to either of us that...
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: I probably wasn't. There are a lot of things that
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: you can't unsee. He never knew what that felt like
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: for me to have gone through that and never be
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: able to talk about it to him. He was always
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: the person I came to when I needed someone. I'd
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: call him when I'd fall off my bike, if I
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: was getting picked on in school. I felt like I
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: couldn't talk to him about that night because I figured
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: that he didn't want to relive it. Turns out he
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: also really wanted to talk about it with me, but
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: figured I felt the same way. And ah, brothers, siblings.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: What do we think? What do we think about the situation?
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: Now you're telling me to think about something else.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. I.
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: I mean, I really... Truthfully, I only want to know
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: what this accident was.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: And I feel like it probably has something to do with, like,
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: mental illness, which is why they're not, like, saying.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: Anything about it. Because I feel like if it was, like,
• 45:19
  Speaker 5: you know.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: No, it was an accident.
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: But, like.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: Well, if you want to know about the accident, I
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: guess you have to talk to the brother, because... What
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: did we learn about this? It's not your place. Yeah. Nothing.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Holy crap. What did we learn about this? Nothing.
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: You can't.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: It's not your accident to talk about.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: It's not your accident to talk about, even though I
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: really want you to tell us what the accident was.
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: I feel like I'll have a better understanding of what
• 45:50
  Speaker 5: this was.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 45:51
  Speaker 5: Sounds like a major car accident type thing.
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's a major car accident because he can't.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: like get up or like he had trouble with with
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: things like lifting it looks like so hmm um no
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: i think you did the right thing let's go ahead
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: and finish up this story savannah learned nothing if you
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: can learn from my mistake speaking about learning learn this
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: okay okay ready for this yeah Disability is different for everybody,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: and it's not something you can really comprehend until it
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: happens to you or a loved one. What makes sense
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: to you in your head may not be the best
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: actual answer, and what works for one person might not
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: work for you. As for the people who called me
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: ableist and infantilizing, we're all doing this for the first time.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Nobody is an expert on how to deal with this stuff.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: It's my first time on the planet as much as
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: it is yours. I know that there's nuance to this stuff.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to do better. Also, I told him that
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I posted it on Reddit for advice, and now he
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: has nicknamed me Reddit Guy. And I have a feeling
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: it's going to stick for a while. Opie says, Hug
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: your fam. They're the best people you're ever going to know. Oh.
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: Sweet.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: Endearing.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: That's a very nice ending. Yes.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: I'm glad it didn't go into something, like, horrible and
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: blow up.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't like you.
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: I'm never talking to you. No contact.
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: No one prepares you for this, especially with a traumatic
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: event like that. I think it is like a big
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: car accident or something like that. You don't want to assume,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: but something with this major that kind of impacted everyone's lives.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: But good on you, OP. Way to actually talk about
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: your feelings with your brother. It only took you that long.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: Best of luck. That's the end of that story. We
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: have another one coming right up.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: My sister-in-law rejected our trip offer, then wanted it two
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: weeks before we left.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Rejected.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: My spouse and I had been planning and booking our
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Europe trip for April 2026. We finalized all our tickets
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: and reservations in November 2025. Around the same time in November,
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: my sister-in-law announced they would have their wedding in October 2026.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: My spouse and I immediately offered, as an early wedding gift,
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: to pay for them to travel with us on our
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: Europe vacation.
• 48:13
  Speaker 5: Including flights, hotels, and activities.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know. That's a fun gift, but they have
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: to plan a wedding.
• 48:22
  Speaker 5: That's true, but....
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I mean... That time frame?
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: That's in.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Seven months? Eight months?
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: Ish.
• 48:31
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Sister-in-law refused because it would be weird, and they preferred
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: to save their PTO for another destination they have yet planned.
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: Fair enough.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: This Thursday, literally the last full week of March, the
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: sister-in-law called and said they changed their minds and wanted
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: to redeem her offer and tag along. Our trip is
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: literally in less than two weeks. I looked up the
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: last minute flight tickets and hotels and everything is massively
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: expensive now. Yeah, it's last minute. By the way, this
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: comes from KindGround3549, and if you want to submit your
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: I'm Sophia.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: guess what? We don't got all the answers. We'd only
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: tell you what we would do, but let us know
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says,
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: we literally would have to spend almost $ 4, 000. more than
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: if we had booked for them in November 2025. I
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: told my spouse I no longer wanted to pay for that.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: We're doing well for ourselves, but that is a ridiculous
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: money difference. I volunteered to be the bad person and
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: told them we could no longer offer that gift to them.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: That's not being a bad person.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Everyone knows... If you book a trip two weeks in advance,
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: or not two weeks in advance, two weeks before the trip,
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: it's going to be a lot more money than when
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: you booked it, say, six months in advance or before
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: the trip. It's, what?
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a, you just can't do that, especially
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: for like an international trip. I could see if like
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: you were going maybe like the next state over or
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: like the next town over or something like, yeah, okay, whatever,
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: last minute, that's fine. But these are like international flights
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: and hotels and everything.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Kind of common sense. Yeah.
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: You got to like make sure you got that down.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Like when they did it in November and they were
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: going in April, I feel like that's like perfect time.
• 50:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: Inevitably drama ensued and the entire vibe is very awkward
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: at the moment or some family members sympathize with me
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: while others said along the lines of well it's just
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: the thing with weddings everything is expensive and you offered
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: am i the a-hole.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Whoever said that is dumb i would be like all
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: right let's look at the price comparison from november to
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: now yeah what are you talking.
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: About Yeah, everything's expensive.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: You know what I would do? I would just give
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: him the money that you paid for, like, originally for
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: your tickets. And he'd be like, there you go. Happy wedding.
• 50:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Ugh.
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: I'd say, oh, then I'm just going to, like, give
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: you more money towards your wedding then. Or, you know.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Use that money for your trip.
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, another trip. Yeah.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: For whenever you want to do it.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's done.
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: Easy.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: Very easy. Very simple.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: There are some comments. Comment number one, I'm having a
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: hard time believing that anyone would say you should honor
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: an offer made months ago that now costs.
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: $ 4, 000 more.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Who genuinely thinks that's reasonable? OP responds, naturally, the aunties
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: who don't have any stake in this drama. Seriously, I
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: don't even know how news travels this fast considering it's
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: not even been two days. Comment number two says, not
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: the a-hole, but info please. Were they going to go
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: on an early honeymoon? Being a wedding present, I guess,
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: led me to the assumption that your trip coincided with
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: their honeymoon?
• 51:48
  Speaker 5: OP responds, thanks for your thoughts. The trip would.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: Be before their wedding since they're traveling in April and
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: their wedding is in October. On number three says, they
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: not only declined your generous offer, but said it was weird.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: So why is it suddenly not weird anymore?
• 52:03
  Speaker 5: Not the a-hole. OP responds, thank you for your thoughts.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: I assume when they said weird, they meant it would
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: be like a long, awkward double date.
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: But I agree. Why not weird now?
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Comment number four says, I'm guessing they realized what an
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: overseas honeymoon would cost them right now and the threshold
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: of weirdness they were willing to deal with adjusted.
• 52:22
  Speaker 5: Ha ha.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: Number five says this person does not sound.
• 52:26
  Speaker 5: Aware of how life works.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Like I said, it's kind of common sense. Why
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: would you guys offered this six months ago? The offer
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: is gone.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: Also, how can they now get time off two weeks away?
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: That was an incredible offer to make in the first place.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: If they do go, I wish you the best of luck.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: It does not sound like they've traveled much if they
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: think it's plausible to tag along to Europe two weeks away.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: OP responds, the sister-in-law owns their own artisan business and
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: the fiance is a consultant, so I guess they can
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: work from anywhere.
• 53:02
  Speaker 5: Uh, there's a little bit left. Okay, so would you
• 53:07
  Speaker 5: do your offer? Or would you be like, you know what,
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: you can come.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: The offer expired. I gave you that offer six months ago.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Or eight months ago. What have you. Not two weeks. Um...
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: We took it out.
• 53:19
  Speaker 4: That's what I mean.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Best thing I would do, and I said it already,
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: give them the amount of your tickets, like what you
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: paid for as like a wedding gift and be like,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: you know what? It won't be weird. You can do
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: this for your honeymoon or whenever you guys want to travel.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: There you go. Very easy. Those aunts, of course, someone
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: has to say something. I would say, shut up. Pay
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: for it then. Where's your wedding gift?
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I would be like, okay, if you guys feel
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: so bad, why don't you pay for it?
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: Oh, you don't want?
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: Okay, got it. Then go away.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:51
  Speaker 5: There's an update.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Thank you, folks, for your thoughts and for suggesting the
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: option to offer my sister-in-law the original money that we
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: would have paid for them in November.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: I'm a simplistic man. I cause it as I seize it.
• 54:04
  Speaker 5: He knows. Wait, say that again.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: I'm a simplistic man. I cause it as I seize it. Yeah.
• 54:10
  Speaker 5: I thought we had the wide angle. No, I mean,
• 54:12
  Speaker 5: you can turn it on if you want.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Overwhelmed in our fluster and frustration, we didn't even think
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: of that. We will offer to gift them the money
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: plus the KitchenAid we already bought as a replacement gift.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: We honestly don't want any drama and hope this will
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: be water under the bridge. Comments. Comment number one, not
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: the a-hole. I just find it funny that you replaced
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: a European trip, flights, accommodations, and activities with a KitchenAid.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: V responds, my sister-in-law mentioned to their mom that they
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: had been wanting a KitchenAid for some time. Where we live, KitchenAid,
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: Cost starts from $ 400 to $ 500. They're pricey.
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: We didn't really want my mother-in-law to pay that much,
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: so when the sister-in-law said no to our vacation offer,
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: we bought the KitchenAid instead.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 54:59
  Speaker 5: And that's all.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: Dasty aunt.
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I hope that your sister appreciates that
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: gift and doesn't, you know, start complaining about that.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: At least she's getting a gift.
• 55:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: Some people just bring, like, a gift card. to a wedding.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: It's like $ 50, which is sad.
• 55:19
  Speaker 5: I mean, if you, I mean, $ 50 is something that
• 55:22
  Speaker 5: you want. Yeah, I feel like I've been to a
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: lot of weddings where people just like gift money.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: Which I think is good. Yeah. Usually it's like $ 100,
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: but it's whatever you have.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Gifts are gifts. Be happy you got a gift.
• 55:35
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I feel like for a wedding, money
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: is good.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been liking, I've been going to a lot
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: of weddings recently for my friends and they just have
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: like a thing. They're like, what they want. Like a,
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: I can't think of the list. It's a list, but
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: I can't think of what it's called.
• 55:49
  Speaker 5: Like a wedding registry?
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the registry. Registries are nice.
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because then I'm like, what's the cheapest thing? I
• 55:56
  Speaker 5: can't wait to make one. What do they put on them?
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: Registry?
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Usually, so like wedding, so like wedding ones, it's usually
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: stuff for like a house.
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: It's for like, like it's like new pots and pans.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: It's for like cooking stuff. Organizers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:10
  Speaker 5: Oh my goodness.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: Like, new like, Plates, new silverware, stuff that they want.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: It's really great.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Like a composter or something that they've always wanted or
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: something like to start a garden or something for.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: Your house or towards their honeymoon. That's what I did
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: for my my my friend's wedding. They were like, we
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: want all these things. And people were like, it's kind
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: of like it looks like an Amazon like.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: Wish list.
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: And like, oh, someone's already got that. Cool. That's done.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: Someone's got that. Cool. Done. And they're like, donate to
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: just our honeymoon. And it's cool. You're like, all right,
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: here's like three meals on us and like a bunch
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: of drinks. Get drunk.
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: I feel like my boyfriend and I would want to
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: do like, I don't know if we would want something
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: like expensive for a honeymoon. Like, I feel like we
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: would just go on an adventure, you know?
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: What?
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: Should we just do a backpacking trip? Yeah, that's what
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: I'm saying. Like, I feel like. We'd probably do something
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: like that. I don't think we would need a bunch
• 57:04
  Speaker 5: of money for that. Well, I mean.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: Let's get to the engagement first. I'm just thinking. She's like,
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited about the registry.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: I can't wait.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: To plan the things that I want.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: That's the wedding. I want the registry.
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: My wedding in five years.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: There's also like they do it for baby showers as well.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: And like babies, you know, because they.
• 57:25
  Speaker 5: Have a registry.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not ready for usually it's just diapers.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: And usually that's like the registry is like with like Target.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: I did that for a friend to diapers. They're like, listen,
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: money or diapers, just diaper. Diapers are so expensive. Yeah.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: Diapers or like any like, you know, baby formula.
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah. People always say like, oh, I don't want that
• 57:44
  Speaker 5: many baby toys because they grow out of them so quick.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 57:50
  Speaker 5: Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My friend's family
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: blamed her for getting cheated on, so I refused to
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: stay silent.
• 58:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you shouldn't. Call them out.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: A bit of background. I'm Middle Eastern in ethnicity, but
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: was born and raised in the UK, so I'm very
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: westernized in my thinking. This story involves my friend, who
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: is of South Asian background. We are all in our mid-30s.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: I've been friends with my friend, let's call her Tara,
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: since the age of eight. So nearly 30 years. She
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: and I would be in each other's houses all the time.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: Even after we grew up and moved away for university,
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: got jobs, got married, and had children, we kept in touch.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Tara got married in her late 20s. She's doing well
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: as a solicitor and has been working since the age
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: of 16. She used to invest her savings in stocks
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: and in ISA, and at 25, she bought her first house.
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: Nice well we can't all be like you tara must
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: be nice tara it's a nice detached three bedroom in
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: a cul-de-sac in cash before she got married.
• 58:52
  Speaker 5: In cash crazy.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: This sounds insane what i hope you continue saying like
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: i said she does very well for herself by the
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: way this comes from user c12342 and if you want
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: to submit your own stories go to the r slash
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: okay story time subreddit i'm kian.
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: I'm savannah i'm sophia and we're.
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: Here to give good advice goofily we don't have all
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: the answers we only know what we do so let
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: us know what you do in the comments down below
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: please As Opie says. So she got married, had two kids,
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: and she and her husband used to split all the
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: bills 50-50. But Tara was responsible for all the holidays
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: and excursions since she earned a lot more. They always
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: kept their finances separate. Anyway, she found out that her
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: husband had been sleeping with her cousin? Her cousin and
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: she had been raised in the same household in a
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: multi-generational setting. So she considered her cousin a sister. Tara
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: punted her husband out and went scorched earth. After getting
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: a divorce lawyer, and after two long years, she finally
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: got divorced. She managed to keep her house and her savings,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: and she had primary custody of her children. She found
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: out that her husband had been taking money from her
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: account behind her back, so she negotiated in her divorce
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: agreement that he would not go after her pension, child maintenance,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: or spousal support in return for her not pressing charges
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: for fraud. Her lawyer was a shark. Scary. and got
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: a good deal for her. Unfortunately for Tara, her family
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: did not stand by her. To them, divorce would bring
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: shame on the family. And as we are Muslim, it
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: is acceptable for her husband to have a second wife.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: When she pointed out that her cousin and her husband
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: were not married and were having a spicy related relationship,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: it was dismissed. In the end, she cut all contact
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: with her entire family. Her children only see their father
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: twice a month and not overnight. From what she said,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: he's not interested in them and usually leaves them with
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: her former mother-in-law. So Tara's mother phoned me, wanting me
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: to get Tara to speak to her again. She said,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: I didn't raise her to an abandoned family, and she
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: needs to raise her children in a two-parent household.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, so we should just dismiss everything that the, you know,
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: husband's doing. It's better to just stay together and make
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: it work.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: Do it for the kids.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: Like, that's not going to help the kids.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: Sorry, it's not. I would be on the phone and
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: be like, shut up. Her husband was stealing money from her,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: cheating on her, and you think that's all good? You
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: think that's okay? If you think that's okay, great. Stick
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: in your old ways. I would say shut up. Dumb.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 5: The TLDR is wrong, by the way.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: Opie says, I answered back, saying, you also raised her
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: cousin and made it okay for her to open her
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: legs for a married man and be a homewrecker, so
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure you can talk about raising people right.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: Opie continues saying, her mother was stunned into silence, started
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: to cry, then hung up the phone on me.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: Good.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: Good. I understand that within our culture, it is very
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: hard to cut off your parents. But in my opinion,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: her mother chose her niece over her daughter and decided
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: that the family's image is more important than her daughter's well-being. However,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: I was really harsh and rude in my tone. And
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: we are taught to respect our elders. And this is
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: where I felt I may have been the a-hole. And
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: that's the end of that. No, you stood up for
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: your friend and you stood up for what's right.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: So, no, you're not an a-hole.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 5: I don't think so at all.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know if an elder was being that snarky
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: and stupid. I'd call him out.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: Same.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: Well, I would try to, but then I'd be like, oh, sorry,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 5: I don't know. But I would be like, I don't know.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Is it rude to be saying the truth?
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Is it rude to be saying the truth? It's all honesty.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 5: Is it rude to be saying the truth? Is that
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 5: what you're saying?
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: You can, we, me and Dakota just read like a
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: story yesterday where like, the guy was mean to his
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: wife and he was like, no, I was just being truthful.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: And it's like, but you could have said it in
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 5: a non mean way.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: It's like, it's how you say things. But also in
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: this situation, just don't go after my cousin.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: Is that, did we have to use big brain thinking
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: on that one?
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 5: Apparently. Hmm.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: That is the end of that story. Oh, and the
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: end of this episode.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: Oh,