Latest / A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast / Talks to Glenn Fitzgerald about his choice of The Stones of Blood (3/4)

Transcript

Talks to Glenn Fitzgerald about his choice of The Stones of Blood (3/4) · A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

• 0:33
  Hamster with a. Blunt pen knife for doing
• 0:35
  quicker. Welcome to a hamster with a
• 0:38
  blunt pen knife, The Doctor Who Commentary Podcast.
• 0:43
  My name is Glenn Fitzgerald. It's my absolute pleasure to be
• 0:48
  invited on by our lovely host and fearless leader who is
• 0:52
  popping my proverbial hamster cherry over a sausage sandwich
• 0:58
  whilst we celebrate Doctor Who's 100th story and the 15th
• 1:03
  anniversary. I believe the stones of blood.
• 1:07
  Yeah, I was going to bring a cake, Glenn, but unfortunately
• 1:11
  the producer told me I wasn't allowed to celebrate.
• 1:14
  This. 100th episode, so unfortunately I'm just going to
• 1:17
  have to have a boring conversation with you about the
• 1:19
  Key to Time instead. And play around with some
• 1:22
  plastic bits. That's right.
• 1:24
  Wow. I say, though, you said that so
• 1:26
  well, it's like you've been doing this for years.
• 1:29
  Well, you know. It's my you.
• 1:34
  Say the nicest things, Joe My. Mission in life to get every
• 1:39
  person in this ham fam to say that fucking ridiculous podcast
• 1:44
  title at least once. You.
• 1:46
  Know, yeah. Even even people.
• 1:49
  Like bloody Toby Ado, Gary Russell or people like that,
• 1:53
  said it. I'm like, yes, good.
• 1:56
  Well, where are we at? Oh, episode 3 episode.
• 2:00
  Three, we're about to go to a rave that is hyperspace.
• 2:04
  Yes, I hear you were a bit of a raver back in the day.
• 2:08
  Bit of a raver, yeah? Well, you weren't under the
• 2:10
  influence, so were you at the raves?
• 2:13
  I couldn't possibly divulge any information on that.
• 2:16
  That means yes, then. OK, good.
• 2:18
  All right, Well, look, should I count us in and we'll see just
• 2:23
  how many Doctor Who costumes from the past that we see on the
• 2:28
  prison ship that Daryl Blake wanted to fill the spaceship
• 2:31
  with? Let's see how many we actually
• 2:33
  see. Yeah.
• 2:35
  OK, shall I count us in? Let's yes go yeah all.
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  Right in 3/2 one. So there's a lot less blood in
• 2:46
  this episode, isn't there? There's, there's a lot, yeah.
• 2:49
  I think there's a lot less from now on and there.
• 2:52
  Oh. No, this is the episode with the
• 2:54
  campers. Oh the how could I forget the
• 2:57
  campers? You know, now I'll give you 500
• 3:02
  points that you can't spend them on anything, but you'll have the
• 3:05
  points if you can tell me the other Doctor Who story that the
• 3:10
  female camper is in. And we've already talked about
• 3:13
  it on this story. Do you know, every time I see
• 3:18
  her, I think, where have I seen her before?
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  You told me you haven't watched it for 30 years.
• 3:25
  Oh. That'd be dragon fire then.
• 3:30
  It's the girl's mother in that. It's her so I so every time I
• 3:36
  see her and think where the hell have I seen her before?
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  That's a 30 year old. Yeah, a 30 year old memory,
• 3:42
  yeah, but it stays there, doesn't it?
• 3:44
  It does, in fact. Do you ever have that with
• 3:46
  Doctor Who where you watch stories and then you suddenly
• 3:51
  realise that an actor's in another Doctor Who story?
• 3:55
  Oh yeah, yeah, you like, make a mental note of it.
• 3:58
  What was I doing the other day? Oh, it was Revenge of a Sideman,
• 4:01
  and everyone in that was in Something else.
• 4:04
  Stevenson was in Seeds of Death and William Marlowe was in Mind
• 4:09
  of Evil and Kevin Stoney was in The Invasion and I was like,
• 4:13
  bloody hell. It's very incestuous, this
• 4:14
  actor, Paul. Yeah, I don't know if I'm still
• 4:21
  one of the very few people left alive on the planet that keeps a
• 4:25
  A Diary of the Doctor Who episodes I've watched.
• 4:29
  Really. Yeah, mine goes back to about
• 4:32
  1990 something. What the same diary?
• 4:36
  Yeah, it's, it's just just the pad like that, nearly full up of
• 4:43
  all. Every time I watch Doctor, I
• 4:46
  write it down, put the date down so I know when, when and where I
• 4:49
  watched it. Including the new series.
• 4:52
  Yeah. Wowzers, that is a hell of a
• 4:55
  keepsake. Don't know that's your journey
• 4:58
  there though. That is my journey, yeah.
• 5:02
  Gosh. Oh boy, Glenn, these are my
• 5:04
  favorite bits she goes. It's our duty to capture that
• 5:09
  creature. We can track it to its lair.
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  And Tom just goes, come on. Oh, and this one was it.
• 5:21
  She goes, it's impossible. He goes, No, it's not.
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  We're standing still. Oh, it's so funny.
• 5:31
  Here she goes trunching out now. What do you think?
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  Of the you know, the sort of. Ball fighting on the Cliff face.
• 5:41
  You know when he's got his. Cone yeah, brilliant.
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  I don't know if he did he do that himself or was that
• 5:47
  scripted do you think? It sounds very Tom.
• 5:50
  To me, yeah. I mean you, so you don't strike
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  me. Right.
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  So most Doctor Who fans of the era, yeah, that like the horror
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  generally. One, they object to canine
• 6:01
  because it it makes the show a bit childish, and two, they
• 6:04
  object to the comedy. You don't seem to mind either of
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  those things. That's all part of Doctor Who,
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  isn't it? Bless you, we need.
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  More fans like you. You couldn't have Doctor Who
• 6:17
  without a bit of campness, a bit of comedy.
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  Look at this doctor, please keep a grip on yourself.
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  I mean, look, this is Doctor Who being menaced by an enormous
• 6:31
  walking stone, and he's. Enticing it over a Cliff face, I
• 6:36
  mean, it's just glorious. And I think in this episode,
• 6:43
  because you get all those wonderful scenes between the
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  Doctor and Amelia Rumford in the cottage, yeah, where they're
• 6:48
  building the hyperspace thing, you get a peek into what the
• 6:52
  show could have been like, actually, with those two as the
• 6:55
  regulars. Yeah, definitely.
• 6:59
  It would have been so good. Well, it's sort of a warm
• 7:02
  relationship, isn't it? And have you heard, have you
• 7:07
  heard the story, the behind the scenes stories where Daryl Blake
• 7:10
  says, and this is the one story where Tom said his lines because
• 7:17
  the actress playing Amelia Rumford went no, no, no, no,
• 7:19
  what are you doing? You didn't do that yesterday.
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  Behave yourself on the. Set he did what he was told with
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  her about, yeah. So they basically needed to.
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  Bring an old. Movie star every week.
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  And then he'd do his job. I mean, she could have been
• 7:37
  there every week and I wouldn't have minded.
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  No, me neither. Imagine the lions.
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  Glenn, are you from outer space? More inner space.
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  Excuse me, that's filthy. I dare you.
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  This is APG 13 podcast. Thank you very.
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  Much. Really.
• 8:02
  That's that's fucked, isn't it? Fucking hell yeah.
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  Oh, here we go. She's being.
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  A bit. Camp now count the stones,
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  Doctor. Beware the ogre.
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  Isn't it great, the way she. Says that extraordinary.
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  Glenn, I don't wish to alarm you, but three of the stones are
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  missing. I've just seen a shadow go
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  across your window. Oh my God.
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  Boom boom boom. Boom, I'm out of here.
• 8:43
  How do you How do you kill a stone?
• 8:48
  How do you kill a stone? Yeah.
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  I actually I wouldn't have a clue.
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  No, they're. Pretty permanent.
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  Aren't they? I mean, did did we establish
• 9:01
  that once he pushed it off a Cliff, was it actually dead
• 9:04
  because it was still glowing? Yeah, Oh my God, the sequel,
• 9:09
  Glenn. Lucy.
• 9:13
  Voyage, Voyage to the bottom of the Ocry.
• 9:17
  Yeah, that sounds a bit dodgy, but yeah, Which?
• 9:21
  Doctor heard and companion could be in that you know they
• 9:23
  discover the ocry at the bottom of the ocean.
• 9:28
  Oh, are we talking new Who companion?
• 9:34
  Come on, you tell me. I think.
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  I can't imagine the ogre in any other any other story bar Tom
• 9:46
  for some reason. Oh.
• 9:47
  No, I've got it. How about this then?
• 9:49
  Yeah. So Amelia Rumford, Yeah, is
• 9:54
  doing a survey on the Cornish coast, and the Ogrey has been
• 9:59
  washed up. And she's like, I know that
• 10:03
  creature you. Do that too well.
• 10:07
  Well, I'm basically an old woman, you know, So yeah, fair
• 10:10
  enough. It's it's much practice.
• 10:15
  You know, Glen, I still don't understand about hyperspace.
• 10:20
  Can you explain it to me please? In a word, this is where we need
• 10:27
  K9 to explain it. What they sort of say, don't
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  they, that it's it's the same, the same space as the circle,
• 10:36
  the stone circle, but like a different universe.
• 10:40
  Is that right? Or something like that.
• 10:42
  Yeah, it's, it's, is it on a different plane maybe?
• 10:49
  Well, they're all the same, these physicists, aren't they?
• 10:55
  You know, in a minute. She started scratching her head
• 10:58
  with the screwdriver. Oh yeah.
• 11:01
  I mean, I mean, like, some people are just naturally
• 11:04
  eccentric, aren't they? She's very comfortable in front
• 11:08
  of the camera as well, isn't she?
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  She's very. And what's so funny is he has to
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  deliver his lines sort astray because he's got no hope of
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  besting her in the eccentric stakes, hasn't he?
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  It's like when Patrick Trouter met Professor Zarrov.
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  You know, Trout was quite sort of over the top at the start.
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  And then he met Zarrov and he's like, well.
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  I can never be as over the top as that.
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  I'm going to have to just. Play it straight.
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  Look. There she goes, scratching her
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  head. Yes, although she did, you know,
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  she got all the lines out about Einstein's theory of relativity
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  says you can't travel faster than the speed of light.
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  Oh, that's why she had the screwdriver.
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  You said pass me the screwdriver.
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  So comfortable together. Yeah, it would have been great,
• 12:00
  wouldn't it? Yeah.
• 12:02
  Like she might have tempered him a bit in season 17 as well.
• 12:06
  You know, they're sort of more over the top performances.
• 12:11
  Yeah, I I can't imagine her sort of running around Paris or
• 12:17
  anything like that. Are you saying they couldn't
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  have a romance this too? Well, who knows?
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  She'd be like, Doctor, you're not my type.
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  Yeah, she'd reject him, wouldn't they?
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  I don't go for men or aliens. Thank you.
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  I couldn't imagine her Imagine. Her on scar on though facing
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  down Davros. Oh yeah.
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  Oh boy. Davros would be running scared.
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  Oh, yeah, absolutely. He would.
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  Yeah. Oh, imagine her against Lady
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  Adjustra. You know, you don't impress me,
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  you know, you old witch. Yeah.
• 13:02
  What about? What the doctor says.
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  In a minute he goes. Now look, run as if something
• 13:07
  very nasty was coming after you, because something very nasty
• 13:10
  will be coming after you. Where did you get all these bits
• 13:17
  from to make this device? Well, he sort of cobbled them up
• 13:21
  out of the kitchen drawer, you know.
• 13:22
  Do you not remember the Thai monster when he made a sniffer
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  outer with a cup of tea? Oh, the Thai monster.
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  Yeah. Oh, banger.
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  Oh, sorry. Is that a clanger for you?
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  No. No.
• 13:36
  I love it. What's very funny about this
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  scene is he does this whole thing about right.
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  You press the button when it gets to OO37, There we go,
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  switch it on. And it just blows up, doesn't
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  it? That's yeah, that's proper
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  comedy moment. Glenn, I understand that pow is
• 13:59
  a technical term. It means there's sort of great
• 14:02
  big molten. Yeah.
• 14:11
  Now you said the 1st 2 episodes were your favourites, so when we
• 14:15
  go into high space I know you said you find them fun, but does
• 14:20
  your interest weigh in a little bit or are you still on board?
• 14:24
  I'm still on board, but it does feel like a little bit you're in
• 14:29
  a different story. That makes sense.
• 14:33
  I know it's still the same story, but if it, it totally
• 14:36
  switches. But that, that is the beauty of
• 14:41
  this particular story as well. But it can do that and it's a
• 14:45
  smooth as well. It's a smooth transition.
• 14:48
  I just think it covers all the bases for an anniversary.
• 14:50
  It covers all the bases, every part of Doctor Who.
• 14:55
  Oh. Did you hear that line?
• 14:57
  He goes so you know. What they say about hyperspace,
• 15:00
  it's a theoretical absurdity, and that's something I've always
• 15:02
  wanted to be trapped in. David Fisher, this is his first
• 15:09
  script, let's not forget. I think he just gets Doctor Who.
• 15:15
  He he's nailed it and he absolutely nailed it.
• 15:20
  What? Do you think?
• 15:22
  What do you think of his scripts for Androids of Tara and
• 15:25
  Creature from the Pit and the Leisure Hive?
• 15:30
  Androids Tara I absolutely love. Creature from the Pit was never
• 15:37
  one of my favourites and that's nothing to do with David Fisher.
• 15:42
  It's just not for me, that one. But Leisure Hive is brilliant.
• 15:46
  I love the leisure hive. You can hear Cy Heart punching
• 15:50
  the air right now as we. Yeah, I wonder what that noise
• 15:53
  was. Yeah, yeah, Leisure Hive
• 15:57
  actually was going to be the one I watch this coming weekend 0.
• 16:02
  Really. OK, yeah, That time I watched
• 16:05
  that again. Yeah, that is a, that is a good
• 16:07
  story. Yeah, David Fisher, certainly.
• 16:12
  He must have been a kind of fan, I reckon, because he, he, he's
• 16:16
  got it and he's got Tom to a tee.
• 16:20
  I think he's well read as well. I think he he he has read and
• 16:25
  watched a lot of things that aren't Doctor Who because you
• 16:28
  can feel the influences in his work.
• 16:30
  Hammer, the Prisoner of Zender, you know, the science and the
• 16:34
  leisure hive. I just think he's a good all
• 16:37
  rounder. He is and I don't.
• 16:42
  I don't know what other things apart from Doctor Who he did, if
• 16:47
  I'm on it. Now I'm going to give you a
• 16:50
  chance to suggest Doctor Who monsters.
• 16:54
  Top three, of course. Doctor Who monsters that could
• 16:57
  be next to Romana in that cell rather than that stupid robot
• 17:03
  with the red rugby. Lips was there, there was meant
• 17:09
  to bear sea devil. Oh, OK, there's one.
• 17:14
  The Wiran. No, no, no, the Wiran is
• 17:17
  actually there. Is it?
• 17:19
  It's there. Yes.
• 17:20
  Sorry. Come on.
• 17:21
  There's not there. Dead, Dead robot.
• 17:27
  Oh, I can't think. What else?
• 17:33
  I would put, I know it's in the future, but can I, can I tie up
• 17:36
  a tetrap? I think that would be quite
• 17:37
  funny. Oh.
• 17:38
  Pet trap would work, yeah. Or a vervoid.
• 17:42
  A vervoid good choice, yeah. Or do you know?
• 17:47
  Imagine a Yeti. Tied up or an ice?
• 17:50
  Warrior Yeah, I was thinking maybe like something like,
• 17:58
  should we call it a Mark 1 Cyberman, maybe one of the the.
• 18:03
  Mordacian ones, yeah. Mordacian.
• 18:06
  That's the word I was looking for in there.
• 18:08
  What? About a battered Dalek.
• 18:11
  A battered Daleks always good. I mean, I mean battered as in
• 18:15
  beaten up rather than in a fat. Fryer.
• 18:18
  Fat fried. What the Hell's happened to that
• 18:22
  Dalek? He's spent too long in Scotland.
• 18:25
  He's been battered. That's always a good in Dalek
• 18:33
  with Christopher Eggleston, when you go down into Statens Staten,
• 18:38
  into his collection of stuff, his things, and he's got that
• 18:42
  Cyberman head and all that in there.
• 18:45
  Stuffed Slovene hand. Stuffed Slovene?
• 18:49
  Oh yeah. I hear that, you know, no,
• 18:51
  that's quite that's considered gourmet food, you know, in alien
• 18:55
  restaurants of the Galaxy. Well, I will let you be the
• 18:59
  Guinea pig on that one. Sort of like stuffed Peppers,
• 19:01
  you know? But for aliens.
• 19:04
  Shock Eye recommends it greatly. Shock Eye.
• 19:11
  Where's that Dunkirk? Spirit never say die.
• 19:17
  Go on, canine. Oh, no.
• 19:19
  What is this Vivian Faye coming now?
• 19:21
  Oh, no. She's doing the portals because
• 19:23
  she thinks the doctor's going to come back, doesn't she?
• 19:26
  That's right. Yeah.
• 19:29
  Now what do you think about canine having a gun?
• 19:32
  Because it is for the doctor having a gun, isn't it?
• 19:35
  Well, it never really bothered me.
• 19:38
  I think it was a way of giving the doctor a gun without
• 19:43
  physically giving him a gun. Making it sort of cute, you
• 19:46
  know, it's a dog, so we don't mind.
• 19:49
  I mean it, I suppose he, he, he would have been just as good
• 19:56
  without it, but he doesn't really use it that.
• 20:02
  It's mostly stunt. I don't think he killed it's.
• 20:04
  Not really. It, it doesn't, I don't know.
• 20:06
  It's like it doesn't really come across aggressively.
• 20:09
  It's not like he's he's a psychopath.
• 20:10
  Is it psychopathic robot dog? I'm.
• 20:15
  Dead. That would be wonderful.
• 20:16
  Do you remember that being in Android Zatara where he takes
• 20:19
  out like a whole line of guards in one go?
• 20:22
  They're all oh God, here we go. Oh.
• 20:25
  Here we are. Oh.
• 20:26
  Excuse me, why is he coming out of that tin and doing up his
• 20:29
  zipper? Well, I mean, this is something
• 20:34
  you know, I was walking off my. Family Entertainment, Glen.
• 20:39
  It is. It's disgusting.
• 20:40
  Oh. I don't know though, look at
• 20:42
  him. Hello, salty goodness.
• 20:48
  I mean, if you come out of your tent and there was 2 dirty great
• 20:52
  monoliths standing there, yes, what would your reaction be?
• 20:57
  What, are you using dirty great monoliths as a euphemism there?
• 21:01
  As in big silicon based life. Forms.
• 21:04
  Oh, thank you. You do need to be explicit with
• 21:05
  the details, sorry. That's fine.
• 21:07
  I think I'd be quite perturbed actually.
• 21:10
  You would be perturbed, but would you just like go here,
• 21:13
  pack come and have a look at this or would you run around
• 21:16
  like a madman going what the what the fuck Where did these
• 21:18
  come from? I mean, I probably.
• 21:20
  Don't know, think it was a joke like they do.
• 21:23
  But then at this point, you know, I wouldn't grab hold of
• 21:26
  her. I'd go, well it's been fun, love
• 21:28
  and run into the forest. Yeah.
• 21:34
  See that? That scene there that was
• 21:36
  imprinted on my brain for weeks after this was broadcast.
• 21:41
  Russell T Davis as well, says that was one of the most
• 21:43
  formative moments of television when he was a child.
• 21:46
  The horror of that scene, I think because it sort of
• 21:49
  bleaches red and they're just screaming you like you're like
• 21:54
  it's left to your imagination. Yeah, that's, well, that's the
• 21:59
  best kind of storytelling, isn't it?
• 22:03
  Quite often with horror films. This is why I like scary horror
• 22:06
  films as opposed to slasher horror films, because what you
• 22:08
  can't see is more scary, I always think.
• 22:12
  I always say, and tell me if I'm wrong because I think you've
• 22:15
  watched more horror than me, that usually when the horror is
• 22:19
  revealed at the end of the movie, it sort of makes it quite
• 22:23
  safe. But when you don't know what the
• 22:24
  horror is. Yeah, that's when it when it
• 22:29
  stays with you. For example, inside this room
• 22:33
  could be any horror. Look at this black room.
• 22:35
  The second these twinkle bell lights start coming out, well
• 22:38
  then all your horrors gone. Yeah.
• 22:43
  They are great though, aren't they?
• 22:45
  They are. They're very camp as well.
• 22:47
  We are the Magara judge, jury and executioner justice machines
• 22:57
  now. This is so Douglas Adams though,
• 22:59
  isn't it? All of this, like it's that sort
• 23:02
  of humour. Yeah, and it it's a bit red
• 23:06
  dwarfish as well. Would you like a bit of Red
• 23:10
  Dwarf? I love a bit of Red Dwarf.
• 23:13
  Oh, why would you tell me that, Glenn?
• 23:14
  What are your top three Red Dwarf episodes?
• 23:19
  Oh definitely, the first one would be backwards.
• 23:23
  Oh I love backwards so much. Remember when she uneats the
• 23:26
  Eclair? Yeah.
• 23:28
  Oh, it's oh, I love backwards. Yeah, Legion, my name.
• 23:34
  I love Legion. Oh my God no.
• 23:37
  I call it the light switch I. Was going to say that.
• 23:41
  Pray tell, what do you call this?
• 23:45
  It's the light switch. That's too.
• 23:49
  Yeah, guys, so many. So, so many.
• 23:56
  You know what my all time favorite one is?
• 23:58
  Queeg I've. Oh yeah, get down on the floor
• 24:03
  suckers. I love queeg.
• 24:05
  I've only got one thing. To say to you.
• 24:08
  What's? Happening, dudes.
• 24:12
  Although the best. Line is is I reckon, the best
• 24:14
  line in. All of Red Dwarf is still.
• 24:16
  Are you sure Sir? It does mean changing the bulb.
• 24:19
  Oh yeah. That show.
• 24:25
  What's the one? What's the one where I get
• 24:28
  marooned on that icy planet in Starbuck?
• 24:31
  Is that marooned? That's called marooned, yeah.
• 24:34
  That is marooned. Yeah, yeah, I love that one.
• 24:36
  And your your guitar was made at a Javanese camp forward.
• 24:41
  Oh. It's so wonderful.
• 24:46
  But you know what? Actually, I think you can make a
• 24:48
  comparison between Graham Williams, Doctor Who, and Red
• 24:52
  Dwarf, in that they're both very, very funny.
• 24:56
  The jokes are thick and fast, yeah, but they can be
• 24:59
  surprisingly touching at times as well.
• 25:02
  And they're generally great character pieces.
• 25:05
  Yeah, and they're. Both extremely cheap at times
• 25:08
  too. Yeah, I think we can all relate
• 25:12
  with Dave Lister sometimes. Well, I think you can relate
• 25:17
  with any of them really. Yeah, I mean, I think, you know,
• 25:21
  you're either in Doctor Who fandom, you're either sort of
• 25:24
  the Rimmer end of the scale, aren't you?
• 25:26
  Or you're the Crichton end of the scale, which is that's when
• 25:30
  you're really finickety about all the details.
• 25:32
  Or you're the Lister end of the scale, which I think is probably
• 25:34
  where I am, where you're just very cash about it all.
• 25:37
  Yeah, about. I've never been sort of, how can
• 25:44
  I put it? I've never been knowledgeable
• 25:46
  about producers, directors, running times, this, that and
• 25:50
  the other. I just love Doctor Who and I
• 25:51
  just love watching it. I think I just appreciate it for
• 25:56
  that. That's why you're winning at
• 25:57
  life, all right? And the rest of us?
• 25:59
  Are. All.
• 26:01
  Arguing away. There's too much in my head to
• 26:06
  store, like information about what type of film this was
• 26:11
  filmed on or. No, you need to save up some of
• 26:13
  that memory for Star Wars and models and all this other shit
• 26:17
  that you get up to. Exactly too much.
• 26:20
  I'll look at this ship. Yes, it does look a bit like a
• 26:23
  couple of microphones stuck together, doesn't it?
• 26:27
  Yeah, it's definitely one from the BBC local DIY shop that one.
• 26:34
  Which is a shame, really. I'm going to misquote Vivian
• 26:38
  Faye at the end of this episode, you know, and say to you Glenn,
• 26:42
  you will be trapped in a hamster with a blunt pen knife forever.
• 26:51
  Well, what a lovely place to be trapped do.
• 26:55
  You know what I want out the episode there.