Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Ask for a Raise Without a Competing Offer
Transcript
- Lucas: So there's this idea floating around that you can't get a meaningful raise unless you have a competing offer in your back pocket. And I think that's one of the most costly pieces of career advice people follow. Luna: It's pervasive. I've had friends say, 'I can't ask until I have something lined up.' But that's a completely different conversation. Lucas: Right. When you bring in an offer, you're basically negotiating a retention decision for your manager. They have to go to HR and say, 'We'll lose this person if we don't match.' That's a narrow and stressful path. Luna: Whereas asking without an offer — that's a conversation about your value, not about your leverage. Lucas: Exactly. And the data backs this up. Payscale put out a study last year — 2025 — and they found that 57% of employees who asked for a raise without a competing offer still got one. More than half. Luna: That's surprisingly high. I would have guessed lower, maybe 40%. Lucas: Me too. And the average increase for those who succeeded was about 8%. That's not life-changing, but it's meaningful — and it compounds over time. If you do that every couple of years, your career earnings jump significantly. Luna: So what's the right approach? How do you set yourself up to be in that 57%? Lucas: I think there are three pieces. First, you need a clear value narrative — a story of specific contributions, not just 'I work hard.' Second, timing matters a lot. And third, you have to frame the ask as a partnership, not a demand. Luna: Let's start with the value narrative. What does that look like in practice? Lucas: I'll give you an example from my own career. At my second job out of college, I was a content strategist at a mid-size tech company. I wanted a raise after about 18 months. I didn't have another offer. So I prepared a one-page document that listed three concrete wins: I had increased blog traffic by 40%, I had streamlined the editorial calendar cutting production time by 15%, and I had mentored two junior writers who both got promoted. Luna: So you're quantifying your impact. That's key — numbers make it real. Lucas: Exactly. I also connected each win to a business outcome. More blog traffic meant more leads. Faster production meant we could launch campaigns sooner. Mentoring meant stronger bench strength. So it wasn't just 'I did good work' — it was 'this work created measurable value for the company.' Luna: And the timing piece — when did you actually have that conversation? Lucas: I scheduled it for about two weeks after we published a really successful campaign that I had led. So my value was top of mind. I didn't do it during a busy quarter-end or when my manager was stressed about a deadline. I looked at her calendar and picked a Tuesday morning — a low-stress time. Luna: That's smart. You're aligning your ask with a recent win, not asking out of the blue. Lucas: Right. And the third piece — framing. I said something like, 'I'd like to discuss my compensation in light of the impact I've been having. I'm committed to this team and I see myself here for the long term. I'd love to work together to find a compensation level that reflects my contributions.' Luna: That's a very different tone from 'I need a raise or I'm leaving.' It invites collaboration. Lucas: Yes. And my manager responded well. She said she appreciated the proactive approach and that she'd take my document to HR. Two weeks later I got a 9% increase — nothing huge, but I didn't have to threaten to leave. Luna: What about the risk? Some people worry that asking without an offer might signal that you're unhappy, or that they'll start looking for your replacement. Lucas: That fear is real, but I think it's overblown if you frame it right. If you say, 'I love working here, and I want to make sure my compensation reflects my growing contributions,' most reasonable managers see that as a positive signal. It shows you're engaged and thinking about the long term. Luna: But not all managers are reasonable. What about someone who might take it personally or feel put on the spot? Lucas: That's a real risk. If you have a manager who's insecure or controlling, any ask can feel like a threat. In that case, you might need to build more external validation first — like getting positive feedback from other stakeholders, or even doing a market salary check. Luna: So you're suggesting a kind of 'soft evidence' approach — gathering data points before the conversation. Lucas: Exactly. And that brings me to a key point: market data. Before you ask, you should know what your role typically pays. Use sites like Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, or even LinkedIn Salary. If you can say, 'Based on my research, the market range for someone with my experience and results is X to Y,' it strengthens your case without needing an offer letter. Luna: So the core of this strategy is preparation, not leverage. You're building a case based on facts and timing. Lucas: Exactly. And I think that's more sustainable than the offer-leverage game. Because if you get a raise by threatening to leave, your manager might feel coerced, and that can damage trust. But if you get a raise by demonstrating value, it actually strengthens your relationship. Luna: I want to try this myself. I have a performance review coming up in two months. I think I'll start preparing my one-pager now. Lucas: Do it. And one tip: don't just list tasks. List outcomes. 'I managed the newsletter' is a task. 'I grew the newsletter subscriber base by 25% and increased click-through rate by 10%' is an outcome. Luna: That's a great distinction. And I think that's the heart of the value narrative — it's not about effort, it's about results. Lucas: Yeah. And results that the company cares about. That's the filter. If you can tie your work to revenue, cost savings, customer retention, or efficiency gains, you're golden. Luna: Let's talk about what happens after you ask. How do you follow up if you don't get an immediate yes? Lucas: First, don't expect an answer on the spot. Most managers need time to talk to HR or their boss. So you should end the conversation with, 'Thanks for hearing me out. When would be a good time to follow up?' And then set a specific date — say, two weeks out. Luna: And if they say no? Or the raise is smaller than you hoped? Lucas: If they say no, ask for feedback. 'What would it take for me to reach that level? What milestones or achievements would make a raise possible?' That turns a rejection into a roadmap. And if the raise is smaller, you can accept it graciously and say, 'I appreciate this. I'll continue working toward the next level.' Luna: And then you start building the case for the next conversation. Lucas: Exactly. It's a process, not a one-time event. And the best negotiators I know treat it that way — they're always building their value narrative, not just when they want a raise. Luna: I think that's a really empowering approach. It puts you in the driver's seat without needing an offer from somewhere else. Lucas: That's the goal. And it's a skill you can practice. Every time you finish a project, write down what you accomplished and how it impacted the business. Over time, you'll have a portfolio of evidence. Luna: And if that portfolio helps even one listener get a raise they otherwise wouldn't have asked for, then this episode was worth it. Lucas: Yeah, that's the hope. And on that note — quick honest thing — a handful of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that literally funds making this many of these episodes ad-free. So if this show has helped you think through a career move or decision, that's how you can keep it going. Luna: It's a small group that makes a big difference. And we really appreciate it. Now back to the strategy — one thing I want to circle back to is the idea of a 'raise ready' document. Can you walk us through how to build one from scratch? Lucas: Sure. Start with a simple structure. Header: your name, your role, the date. Then three sections: Key Achievements, Skills Growth, and Market Context. Keep it to one page. Bullet points, not paragraphs. Luna: And you bring that document to the meeting, or you send it in advance? Lucas: I like to bring a physical copy to the meeting — it shows you're prepared. Then I leave it with them. If you're remote, send it in advance with the meeting invite. Something like, 'I've prepared a brief overview of my contributions. Thought it might be helpful context for our discussion.' Luna: That sets a professional tone. It's not confrontational, it's collaborative. Lucas: Exactly. And it makes it easy for your manager to advocate for you. They can forward that document to HR with a note saying, 'This person has a strong case, let's discuss.' Luna: So it's almost a tool for your manager, not just for you. Lucas: Yes. And that's the real secret — you're helping them help you. Most managers want to keep good people. They just need evidence to justify the raise to finance or HR. Provide that evidence, and you've done half the work for them. Luna: I think that's a great note to end on. You don't need leverage, you need evidence. And a smart strategy. Lucas: And a little courage to start the conversation. But the data says it's worth it — 57% of people who ask without an offer get something. So why not be in that majority?