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You Need These Dating Tips For Summer If You’re Single! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:18
Speaker 1: I do Part two. It's your celebrity mentors, Susan and Joan,
0:22
Speaker 1: and we are at the Bottle Rock Festival here in Napa.
0:26
Speaker 1: So excited to be.
0:27
Speaker 2: Here, so exciting to be here. How about yesterday, Oh
0:30
Speaker 2: what a great vibe. It was such.
0:33
Speaker 1: Energy and the performers are like the headliner, but the
0:37
Speaker 1: food is a closed second. I haven't the best time
0:41
Speaker 1: eating my way through the festival.
0:42
Speaker 2: It's so true. And you turn me onto that, Thank you,
0:45
Speaker 2: jo a lobster corn.
0:48
Speaker 1: Dog with I had one. Oh my god, that was
0:52
Speaker 1: an experience, you know. I gotta say I love a
0:54
Speaker 1: corn dog anyway. A lobster CornDog, a caviar is just
0:57
Speaker 1: taking it to a next level.
0:58
Speaker 2: I really thought it was going to be massive crowds,
1:03
Speaker 2: people stuck together, you know, but everybody is just doing the.
1:07
Speaker 1: It and it's a gigantic place. And I'm so surprised
1:10
Speaker 1: how they can have more than one I've never been
1:12
Speaker 1: to a festival, by the way before, so I am
1:14
Speaker 1: very surprised to see that more than one musical performance
1:17
Speaker 1: can be happening at the same time. And it's the
1:19
Speaker 1: way that the stages are arranged, and I guess the
1:21
Speaker 1: sound goes in different directions. So yeah, so I was,
1:25
Speaker 1: you know, watching one, and then I walked over and
1:27
Speaker 1: then Rush was here and it was a completely different crowd.
1:29
Speaker 1: And the place is gigantic too. I think that helps.
1:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was a lovely day to boot.
1:34
Speaker 1: And I'm so impressed. And I can't believe I'm saying this,
1:36
Speaker 1: but the bathroom situation is so good.
1:39
Speaker 2: Well, Joe and we do have VIP the vipes, but
1:42
Speaker 2: I was in the regular bathroom because I had to
1:43
Speaker 2: go so badly once I got there.
1:45
Speaker 1: Oh, our mimosa has just arrived, Thank you very much. Yeah,
1:49
Speaker 1: I can't reach myself.
1:50
Speaker 2: To my friends.
1:52
Speaker 1: I'm reaching. Sorry, I'm a microphone right in front of
1:56
Speaker 1: my mimosa. That is not right.
1:57
Speaker 2: Good friends, Good festival, and I do Part two.
2:00
Speaker 1: I love that. That was perfect season.
2:02
Speaker 2: Okay, Jen, and I have a question. Who are you
2:04
Speaker 2: excited about seeing performed today?
2:06
Speaker 1: Oh God, that's a hard one. I have like a
2:09
Speaker 1: very diverse musical repertoire. So so we saw Foo Fighters
2:15
Speaker 1: last night. That was like an experience that I've never
2:17
Speaker 1: had before. So that was so, so so fun. But
2:19
Speaker 1: like there's part of me that's like a little bit
2:21
Speaker 1: of a Casey in the Sunshine Band kind of girl,
2:23
Speaker 1: and I love Ludacrous, So I mean there's so teddy swims.
2:27
Speaker 1: I mean there are like there's so much music to
2:31
Speaker 1: listen to, and I feel like we're at our last
2:33
Speaker 1: day and I can't believe it, but I think we're
2:34
Speaker 1: finishing off with the band because we have Backstreet boys.
2:37
Speaker 1: How about you?
2:37
Speaker 2: Street boys are the best. Everybody's going to be so excited,
2:40
Speaker 2: But for me, I know I'm coming back next year.
2:44
Speaker 2: I really enjoyed this.
2:45
Speaker 1: I said the same thing. I was asking, we don't
2:47
Speaker 1: get invited by iHeart were coming anyway, And I was
2:51
Speaker 1: asking people how much tickets cost, and they ate cheap,
2:54
Speaker 1: but I think it's worth the dollar and I would
2:56
Speaker 1: absolutely come back. Okay, you and I we're gonna make plans.
2:59
Speaker 2: Okay, and that's we all know. Memorial Day, this is
3:01
Speaker 2: the kickoff to summer. So we're going to bring you
3:05
Speaker 2: some hot tips. In the first tip i'd like to give,
3:07
Speaker 2: you can wear white whenever you want. You don't have
3:10
Speaker 2: to wait till Memorial that.
3:12
Speaker 1: I love that, and you and I just had that discussion.
3:14
Speaker 1: And I grew up in a house where you didn't
3:16
Speaker 1: wear white until after a Memorial Day, but then you
3:19
Speaker 1: have kind of swayed me in our discussion. So I'm
3:21
Speaker 1: with you, and I think white is welcome.
3:23
Speaker 2: I think you can do it. All right, We're going
3:26
Speaker 2: to talk a lot today. I know, meeting men, well.
3:30
Speaker 1: We're in our sixties, so we have some experience in this.
3:32
Speaker 1: Even though we've both been married, we've also spent our
3:35
Speaker 1: single year. So let's talk about that. You want to
3:38
Speaker 1: do the first question.
3:39
Speaker 2: Sure, what is your hottest tip to meet men in
3:42
Speaker 2: real life? Where are they?
3:45
Speaker 1: Where the heck are they? I think we hear this
3:47
Speaker 1: question all the time. We've been very lucky. But we
3:50
Speaker 1: also had to go on national TV to meet a man.
3:52
Speaker 1: So you you went on I know, I actually met
3:59
Speaker 1: what know. I wouldn't recommend that because that's a hard
4:02
Speaker 1: one to get. So I feel like those summer months
4:05
Speaker 1: are an open invitation. I think that is actually a really,
4:08
Speaker 1: really great time to meet a man. So if you,
4:10
Speaker 1: you know, there's a whole part of me that goes,
4:12
Speaker 1: you know, go pick up some golf clubs and learn
4:14
Speaker 1: how to golf, because.
4:14
Speaker 2: I wish you would. We could be partners.
4:16
Speaker 1: I know, I'm going to like it's always been one
4:18
Speaker 1: of my dreams, Like I have time to do it,
4:20
Speaker 1: and I actually gone to a country club, So I
4:22
Speaker 1: don't know what the heck. I'm not why I'm not
4:23
Speaker 1: doing that. I feel like that's a really good place,
4:26
Speaker 1: but I feel like being outdoors. Go to like I
4:28
Speaker 1: live in DC, go to a NATS game, just like
4:33
Speaker 1: there's just a festival, people so many. You need to
4:36
Speaker 1: give yourself a large amount of people to choose from,
4:39
Speaker 1: or like if do you have a waterfront and walk
4:41
Speaker 1: along the river or walk along the lake or whatever,
4:45
Speaker 1: just be outside. Yeah, you know, and you know what
4:48
Speaker 1: my biggest suggestion is, like, if you go to a
4:50
Speaker 1: restaurant and you're with a girlfriend, do not sit at
4:52
Speaker 1: a table. Sit at the bar because it's spurs conversations.
4:55
Speaker 1: I think I've met more people sitting at bars, but
4:57
Speaker 1: I'm not like interested in meeting anybody. I have somebody now,
4:59
Speaker 1: But conversation it's just a great and I think it's
5:02
Speaker 1: even if the person you're talking to is in single
5:05
Speaker 1: it just opens up a world of maybe other people
5:07
Speaker 1: that you would have.
5:08
Speaker 2: Never met exactly. And of course there's dating apps, which
5:11
Speaker 2: I know we've all tried, and some succeed, some fail,
5:14
Speaker 2: and you go back to it a couple of years later.
5:16
Speaker 2: It is a thing.
5:18
Speaker 1: It's funny the younger generation seems to be using the
5:21
Speaker 1: dating apps more than the older generation. And to me,
5:24
Speaker 1: I think so. I always say, like, if I go
5:27
Speaker 1: into a restaurant or a bar, I assume everybody my
5:31
Speaker 1: age is what's there is married yes, or they're in
5:34
Speaker 1: a relationship yes. When a young person goes into a
5:37
Speaker 1: bar or an event or whatever, they assume everybody there
5:40
Speaker 1: is single and ready to mingle. It seems so weird
5:43
Speaker 1: to me that they are using the dating apps because
5:45
Speaker 1: they could just go out into the wild and find
5:46
Speaker 1: somebody so much easier than we do.
5:48
Speaker 2: But it's if you don't have the type that sits
5:50
Speaker 2: at a bar or dance, you know, goes to the club. Yeah,
5:53
Speaker 2: and that you don't meet them yeah.
5:54
Speaker 1: Yeah.
5:55
Speaker 2: And my age either they're still married or they've already
5:58
Speaker 2: gone their past. It's not that many left.
6:01
Speaker 1: They're either dead or married. This is so bad, Okay,
6:08
Speaker 1: because I don't think we had the golden answer to that,
6:09
Speaker 1: but I think we gave maybe a few good suggestions,
6:11
Speaker 1: like get out there is basically what we're saying exactly. Okay,
6:15
Speaker 1: what are three things you should ask a man when
6:18
Speaker 1: you meet him to determine if he's this is a
6:21
Speaker 1: hard one, looking for something serious or not. So basically,
6:24
Speaker 1: is he looking up for a looking for a hookup
6:26
Speaker 1: or casual dating or does he want to have a relationship?
6:29
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? Sorry?
6:31
Speaker 2: I have three things that when I was going out
6:34
Speaker 2: meeting for the first. First of all, if I don't
6:36
Speaker 2: have chemistry, I'm not asking him anything. I know within
6:39
Speaker 2: the first few minutes whether I'm going to see this
6:41
Speaker 2: person again, but a couple of them. One would be
6:45
Speaker 2: if this was the last time we would ever see
6:48
Speaker 2: each other, what is it you would want me to
6:50
Speaker 2: know about you?
6:51
Speaker 1: Oh? I love that.
6:52
Speaker 2: It's a good one, right.
6:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's so these are that's so like thought provoking,
6:57
Speaker 1: Like I would probably have to sit there for like
6:59
Speaker 1: three minutes and say, okay, hold on, let me let
7:00
Speaker 1: me think about what I want to say.
7:01
Speaker 2: To be is a good thing? Yeah, if you thought
7:03
Speaker 2: about it because you were listening, Yeah, they just blurred
7:07
Speaker 2: out something, you know.
7:08
Speaker 1: It may it may show you that they have maybe
7:10
Speaker 1: a little arrogance or narcissism. If they have like this,
7:12
Speaker 1: idea about themselves that's so accurate. So I would have
7:15
Speaker 1: a hard really have a hard time answering that, to
7:17
Speaker 1: be honest.
7:18
Speaker 2: Another one I have, what makes you feel most alive? Oh?
7:23
Speaker 2: I love that.
7:23
Speaker 1: I could answer that one quickly.
7:24
Speaker 2: I think, Okay, if if someone asked you that.
7:27
Speaker 1: If some I probably say my family like being surrounded
7:29
Speaker 1: by my kids and my grandkids, like they're like your
7:31
Speaker 1: legacy anyway, and you you know, you made them alive
7:35
Speaker 1: and they like they're an extension of you, and you know,
7:38
Speaker 1: not only did you birth them, but you raise them
7:40
Speaker 1: so like when they are you're a good yes. Yeah,
7:44
Speaker 1: how about you?
7:44
Speaker 2: How about this one? How is your experience going so
7:48
Speaker 2: far in the dating world? Oh? So then you kind
7:51
Speaker 2: of feel the answer being, oh, he's dated a lot
7:54
Speaker 2: or he's not taking it serious. And I guess that
7:57
Speaker 2: goes back to the original question, what is he looking for?
8:01
Speaker 2: If we're supposed to guess?
8:02
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's really really hard because I
8:05
Speaker 1: think some of these, like your questions were like not
8:09
Speaker 1: like so intrusive, but like questions that I would want
8:11
Speaker 1: to know, Like you're obviously aren't going to be able
8:14
Speaker 1: to say, hey, are you in this for sex or
8:16
Speaker 1: you in this for a relationship.
8:17
Speaker 2: But like you don't I think you could.
8:19
Speaker 1: Maybe you could. I don't know. I could never actually
8:21
Speaker 1: ask that, but maybe it's okay, maybe people do. I
8:25
Speaker 1: feel like, have they ever been married before? Because a guy,
8:28
Speaker 1: a man who's never been married makes me think that
8:30
Speaker 1: they are not maybe really relationship material, you know, especially
8:33
Speaker 1: at our age. Okay, so younger people, I don't think that.
8:35
Speaker 1: But if they're in their six seiesson they've never been married,
8:37
Speaker 1: I don't think they're looking for something super seriously. Yeah,
8:41
Speaker 1: I think it's a hard question to ask. In the beginning,
8:42
Speaker 1: I think you came up with really good ones and
8:44
Speaker 1: you're going to get the sense of a person. But
8:46
Speaker 1: also I also think though that they might not know
8:50
Speaker 1: what they're looking for when they first meet you, because
8:52
Speaker 1: it me determined on the you know, who the person is.
8:55
Speaker 1: So as they get to know you, maybe they'll think
8:57
Speaker 1: more relationship versus more just you know, hook up. So
9:00
Speaker 1: I think you almost have to give somebody a little time,
9:02
Speaker 1: like you're not going to be able to find that question.
9:04
Speaker 1: They answered that question out right away?
9:05
Speaker 2: Would I try to do? It's something I want to ask.
9:08
Speaker 2: I want to be able to answer if they asked me.
9:10
Speaker 1: Yes, well yeah, because you've already thought.
9:13
Speaker 2: It and you know you don't want the conversation. You
9:17
Speaker 2: got to be yourself, right, You can't pretend you're somebody
9:20
Speaker 2: you're not. I'm silly, I'm loud, I'm you're fun. They
9:24
Speaker 2: need to know that right off the bat.
9:26
Speaker 1: I think also, like for me in a relationship, and
9:29
Speaker 1: it's a deal breaker if there's not good banter. So
9:32
Speaker 1: if you have to go in there thinking of questions
9:35
Speaker 1: that you're going to ask somebody, and you have to
9:36
Speaker 1: have like that in your like the back of your mind,
9:38
Speaker 1: like that person probably isn't the right person for me.
9:40
Speaker 1: Like the back and forth should just be natural. You
9:43
Speaker 1: should it shouldn't be forced, and you should get a
9:45
Speaker 1: sense of a person just from that banter.
9:46
Speaker 2: I think we need to laugh within the first five minutes.
9:49
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one. And I can't imagine
9:51
Speaker 1: anybody ever having a hard time talking to you, Susan.
9:53
Speaker 1: So I think you're going to find out a lot.
9:56
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to the next one. Should you always
9:59
Speaker 2: leave the house with makeup on in case you meet
10:02
Speaker 2: a man in the real world. Now we're going to
10:05
Speaker 2: have a lot of difference.
10:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know me, You've probably hardly ever seen
10:10
Speaker 1: me without makeup on. I do not, okay, So I
10:13
Speaker 1: feel like one of those old ladies that gets up
10:16
Speaker 1: every morning and puts her lipstick in her brush on
10:18
Speaker 1: before she goes, like out into like her own kitchen
10:21
Speaker 1: or something.
10:22
Speaker 2: I do.
10:23
Speaker 1: I put makeup on before I go out.
10:25
Speaker 2: You run ups, You're gonna go upstairs and put.
10:28
Speaker 1: Something will I know? I'm so weare.
10:31
Speaker 2: But you know what, that's why she's always beautiful.
10:33
Speaker 1: That's not true. That's not true at all. But I
10:35
Speaker 1: think the problem is one of the things about me
10:37
Speaker 1: is I'm an early bird, so I have all this
10:39
Speaker 1: time in the morning before the rest of the world
10:41
Speaker 1: is up, so I have time to do it. I'm
10:43
Speaker 1: up at five o'clock in the morning. I think of it.
10:45
Speaker 2: If you did meet somebody in a natural no makeup,
10:49
Speaker 2: your your hoodie and your jeans or whatever to run
10:51
Speaker 2: to the store, they're going to see your worst. If
10:54
Speaker 2: they ask you out, they're going to see really good They're.
10:58
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not sure. I don't think I have as
11:01
Speaker 1: much self confidence when I don't have makeup on, So
11:03
Speaker 1: it helps me feel better about myself and maybe like
11:06
Speaker 1: more likely to talk to somebody.
11:07
Speaker 2: It's just a personal thing.
11:08
Speaker 1: It's just thank you. But I'm guessing that you will
11:12
Speaker 1: go out without makeup, and I've see you without makeup.
11:14
Speaker 1: But you know what, I'm going to tell you something
11:15
Speaker 1: else about you. So you have a little more of
11:18
Speaker 1: an olive complexion. And I am a pale face, and
11:21
Speaker 1: so I look really bad when I don't makeup on
11:23
Speaker 1: to be honest, I look I look like I don't
11:26
Speaker 1: have any eyelashes, Like I don't have much, So I
11:28
Speaker 1: have to have a little bit just so you can
11:29
Speaker 1: even see my face.
11:31
Speaker 2: I know. I Okay, let's move on. Okay.
11:34
Speaker 1: We always hear men like to feel needed. Should should
11:37
Speaker 1: women be asking for men's help to gain attention when
11:41
Speaker 1: looking for someone to date? Or does that just go
11:43
Speaker 1: against presenting yourself as a strong independent woman?
11:47
Speaker 2: Well, what do you think The truest statement and one
11:51
Speaker 2: of the things that I will honestly admit that I
11:54
Speaker 2: failed in my marriage is I didn't thanks for taking
12:00
Speaker 2: out the trash. Oh you did such a good job, Dicky,
12:03
Speaker 2: wasn't that handy? My dad was more that guy for
12:07
Speaker 2: a lot of the me too. I had a tool shed,
12:09
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
12:10
Speaker 1: I'm me too. I have the tools in our in
12:11
Speaker 1: our family, in our house.
12:13
Speaker 2: But asking them to do something for you that you
12:17
Speaker 2: can't physically do, usually it had to do with something
12:20
Speaker 2: that was heavy or but I think men do need that.
12:24
Speaker 2: They say they want independent women, and that's a wide,
12:28
Speaker 2: wide spectrum independent women. But as a female compared to
12:34
Speaker 2: a male male men.
12:37
Speaker 1: Height, you have other things that they can do things
12:39
Speaker 1: we don't do. There's also a little bit of that
12:41
Speaker 1: that like plays into the flirting and I am I'm
12:45
Speaker 1: about I'm all about a flirt. I love a good banter,
12:50
Speaker 1: I love a good back and forth flirting. I love
12:52
Speaker 1: the playfulness that so like, you're so tall, can you
12:55
Speaker 1: come bring your tall cute self over here and get
12:58
Speaker 1: that off that top shelf? Or I say, punkam and
13:01
Speaker 1: my gas? Would you get out? Be a sweetie and
13:02
Speaker 1: get out and put my gas And like then they
13:04
Speaker 1: feel like they're doing something really nice for you.
13:06
Speaker 2: So we're walking the handed hand and their big guy,
13:09
Speaker 2: burly kind of guy. I just feel so tiny and
13:13
Speaker 2: fatiguous to that big strong body. You do have to
13:17
Speaker 2: compliment them, you.
13:18
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And then there's the whole thing that presenting yourself
13:21
Speaker 1: as a strong independent woman, which we obviously are. You
13:23
Speaker 1: and I have taken care of ourselves for a lot
13:25
Speaker 1: of years. Sometimes we don't need a man like them.
13:28
Speaker 1: Thinking that we don't need them, I think it is
13:30
Speaker 1: hard for them. So you need them in different ways.
13:33
Speaker 1: We are fine, and they know that because they've seen
13:35
Speaker 1: that we've lived independently. But to show them that we
13:38
Speaker 1: need them a little bit for other things or that,
13:40
Speaker 1: you know, we would get that off the top shelf eventually,
13:42
Speaker 1: but we'd have to bring to pull the chair over
13:44
Speaker 1: and climb up on it.
13:45
Speaker 2: And just if you had a not so great day,
13:48
Speaker 2: somebody to listen to you at the end of the
13:50
Speaker 2: day and not judge you for anything. Yeah, that's like
13:53
Speaker 2: your best friend. That's what we all want.
13:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I totally agree.
13:56
Speaker 2: I agree. All right, Now we're going to move on
13:58
Speaker 2: to some dating tips. Mmm mmm, okay, what is the
14:02
Speaker 2: one thing divorced women or would a women need to
14:06
Speaker 2: avoid when dating again for the first time.
14:10
Speaker 1: I think I know the answer to that.
14:12
Speaker 2: Go ahead, there's I'm sure there's many.
14:13
Speaker 1: I'm sure there are many. I know what it is
14:15
Speaker 1: for what it was for me, Okay. So I had
14:20
Speaker 1: an amazing husband and you've heard me talk about him
14:22
Speaker 1: a million times, and I was really looking for another John,
14:27
Speaker 1: and it was so a fair not going to find
14:31
Speaker 1: another John. And it took a long time for John
14:33
Speaker 1: to become my John, you know, Like I didn't feel
14:35
Speaker 1: that way about him the day, you know, I met him,
14:38
Speaker 1: But as I got to know him, I learned all
14:39
Speaker 1: the wonderful things about him. So looking for the same
14:44
Speaker 1: person to replace the person that left you. But I
14:46
Speaker 1: think for a divorce woman, she may be looking for
14:48
Speaker 1: the opposite, or think she's looking for opposite. But I
14:50
Speaker 1: think everybody has a type, and I think they're going
14:52
Speaker 1: to a lot of divorce women are going to end
14:54
Speaker 1: up with the same kind of man because it's their type.
14:57
Speaker 1: So I almost think the answer is the same. Don't
15:00
Speaker 1: be looking for the person the same person that you
15:02
Speaker 1: just laughter that just left your.
15:03
Speaker 2: This is true for me. It's don't fall fast. I
15:07
Speaker 2: dive in with you, I get excited. I'm in love
15:10
Speaker 2: with being and I'm in love with falling in love.
15:13
Speaker 1: I think that's I think you are too.
15:15
Speaker 2: Yes, And another big one, don't ignore a red flag
15:19
Speaker 2: when you say it because nothing's going to change. You
15:23
Speaker 2: cannot change people. You can modify behavior in yourself. And
15:28
Speaker 2: there's something they're doing that bothers you.
15:30
Speaker 1: You'll make excuses for them. You'll keep trying to excuse
15:32
Speaker 1: that red flag, and it's never going to go anywhere.
15:35
Speaker 1: You are so right. How many people in the dating
15:47
Speaker 1: roster is a good amount? How much is too many?
15:50
Speaker 1: How are you a multiple dater kind of person? You
15:53
Speaker 1: want more than one guy.
15:54
Speaker 2: That gest quality, not quantity. I don't forget their name if.
15:58
Speaker 1: I date it for them or a conversation you had.
16:01
Speaker 2: Honestly, Joan, I don't think I'm a dater. I don't, yeah,
16:05
Speaker 2: date around like that. I meet somebody either I want
16:08
Speaker 2: to date him and have turned into a relationship or
16:12
Speaker 2: you move on.
16:13
Speaker 1: Yeah. So yeah, And you said you always know, like
16:16
Speaker 1: within the first.
16:16
Speaker 2: Few minutes whether I'm attracted or work there.
16:20
Speaker 1: I like dating. I like the beginning of the relationship.
16:24
Speaker 2: If you had two days a week, two different men,
16:27
Speaker 2: and you're going to see two different men for several months,
16:30
Speaker 2: do you have a conversation about it or you just
16:32
Speaker 2: do it?
16:33
Speaker 1: Well? I mean it was something that I thought bothered
16:35
Speaker 1: either one of them, that I would date, I probably
16:36
Speaker 1: wouldn't continue to date them. I guess, I don't know.
16:39
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm in a relationship now. But like in
16:41
Speaker 1: my dating days and when I was first getting back
16:43
Speaker 1: into the dating world, I had no desire to only
16:47
Speaker 1: like have one like, I really wanted to explore what
16:49
Speaker 1: was out there. It's been a lot of years, have
16:50
Speaker 1: been thirty two years since I dated, Like I felt like, I,
16:53
Speaker 1: you know, I needed to kind of dive in and
16:55
Speaker 1: see what like was going to work for me this time.
16:57
Speaker 1: Because when I was like I was dating when I
16:59
Speaker 1: was younger, I was looking for a father, like somebody
17:01
Speaker 1: that could bother my kids and could be a great
17:03
Speaker 1: husband and a companion. And I was looking for something
17:05
Speaker 1: completely different. So when I got back out in the
17:07
Speaker 1: dating world, it was a whole new thing for me.
17:08
Speaker 2: You already had all those things, the first house, the
17:11
Speaker 2: first this.
17:13
Speaker 1: Fun somebody that had some sense of adventure, and I
17:16
Speaker 1: got that in Chalk. I really did. Like he's like
17:18
Speaker 1: in a lodge in Montana right now, hunting by himself,
17:20
Speaker 1: so like he's very adventurous, crazy. Yeah, okay, oh no,
17:25
Speaker 1: now we're moving on the sat.
17:29
Speaker 2: All right.
17:30
Speaker 1: I could know you could ask you want to do
17:32
Speaker 1: you want to start to the sex talk off?
17:34
Speaker 2: Oh do this to us tips? Is watching porn with
17:39
Speaker 2: your partner a good idea or does it set unrealistic
17:44
Speaker 2: expectations in the relationship.
17:47
Speaker 1: So first of all, like I this is a no
17:51
Speaker 1: judge zone. Okay, absolutely, if somebody wants to watch porn,
17:54
Speaker 1: I think they should watch porn. And I think there's
17:55
Speaker 1: a ton of it out there. I mean, you you
17:57
Speaker 1: hear about it all the time. I have never been
17:59
Speaker 1: a porn person, but I don't think I've ever had
18:02
Speaker 1: a partner that was interested in it, So no one's
18:05
Speaker 1: ever asked me. And I know that, Like there's like
18:10
Speaker 1: channels on TV, but I have it restricted. I have
18:12
Speaker 1: grandchildren who live in my home, so I don't have
18:15
Speaker 1: anything opportunity that I could actually even access.
18:17
Speaker 2: I didn't even know there was a I think it's
18:19
Speaker 2: a boy channel one.
18:21
Speaker 1: I mean, I have things restricted, so like that's not
18:23
Speaker 1: on there. I don't want them to accidentally come across it.
18:26
Speaker 1: He's six, but he uses the remote control, so yeah,
18:28
Speaker 1: it could happen. But when it comes to like the
18:32
Speaker 1: whole concept of it, like I think it's fine the individual, Yeah, sure,
18:36
Speaker 1: Like why not if it's what you need to maybe
18:39
Speaker 1: make your sex life more exciting, or even to have
18:42
Speaker 1: a sex life, maybe that's what you need to get going, and.
18:45
Speaker 2: You're both enjoying it.
18:46
Speaker 1: That's a personal thing.
18:47
Speaker 2: Knock yourself out. Absolutely. When I watched Maybe three, Debbie
18:51
Speaker 2: does Dallas like, oh yeah, fans over sixty will know
18:55
Speaker 2: what that is. And I was with girlfriends and I said,
18:58
Speaker 2: I have to see it.
18:59
Speaker 1: Like, what's the big thing?
19:00
Speaker 2: Crazy? Ridiculous. I was expecting like a story plot, you know, leading.
19:04
Speaker 1: To a movie that ends in this free sex scene.
19:07
Speaker 2: This is bad. This is bad, But I get it.
19:09
Speaker 2: For some people it stimulates them or maybe new positions
19:15
Speaker 2: or something they're going to.
19:16
Speaker 1: Watch, show them something different.
19:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if they're both on the same page, yeah,
19:20
Speaker 2: and they enjoy it, knock yourself out. But honestly, I
19:23
Speaker 2: want to know what listeners out there write in and
19:26
Speaker 2: tell us your thoughts on this.
19:28
Speaker 1: I know this could be an episode I feel like
19:30
Speaker 1: because I don't know enough about it to actually speak
19:33
Speaker 1: to us to this, and I would love to hear
19:35
Speaker 1: other people's opinion. The one thing that the one thought
19:38
Speaker 1: that kind of comes into my mind is if you
19:40
Speaker 1: don't watch it, together, Like, say, a man is watching it,
19:42
Speaker 1: and certainly, I mean, I think that's pretty much everybody knows.
19:45
Speaker 1: Men watch porn and and it is what it is,
19:48
Speaker 1: as long as it doesn't take them outside of their
19:50
Speaker 1: marriage and it stays. And if like, if they're better.
19:53
Speaker 2: Than their partner, like they're not even interested, they'd rather
19:55
Speaker 2: do that, that's a problem.
19:57
Speaker 1: That's a proble.
19:57
Speaker 2: It's a red flag.
19:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah, maybe a red flag. I'm right here,
20:00
Speaker 1: I have the real stuff. You don't need to watch it. Okay,
20:05
Speaker 1: let me go to the next one. Oh gosh, the
20:08
Speaker 1: producers give us some crazy questions. Drive vagina as drive
20:13
Speaker 1: vagina as you age happens other than lub Is there
20:17
Speaker 1: any natural things at work of vitamins for certain kinds
20:20
Speaker 1: of food Susan go for jan about it.
20:24
Speaker 2: I really researched this. I'm so glad because it does
20:28
Speaker 2: happen to all of us. It's a latus estrogen. It
20:31
Speaker 2: happens as you age. Absolutely personally, I'm on the bioidentical hormones.
20:35
Speaker 2: I don't have this issue. But I did find out
20:40
Speaker 2: there's a device, there's actually several One is called sculpt
20:44
Speaker 2: Her and believe it or not. It's a red light.
20:47
Speaker 2: So my first thought, I'm like, how do you It
20:50
Speaker 2: helps circulation, your tissue, vitality and the main they're the
20:56
Speaker 2: main causes of your dryness. So it's a mechanism that
21:00
Speaker 2: you put inside right ten minutes a day. And there's
21:03
Speaker 2: another one called joy Lux be Fit and it was
21:07
Speaker 2: created by an obgyn. Okay, they're claiming real improvement, moisture, sensitivity,
21:13
Speaker 2: and comfort because some people that go through it it hurts.
21:17
Speaker 2: Even Yeah, I didn't experience that, but I do believe
21:21
Speaker 2: in my red light therapy. I use it at least
21:23
Speaker 2: five times a week. I use it with it.
21:25
Speaker 1: I use it on my face every single night. So
21:27
Speaker 1: why not travel my hotel room right now?
21:29
Speaker 2: Would you try that if that was an issue for you?
21:31
Speaker 2: I think I would.
21:32
Speaker 1: Absolutely well, So it has been an issue for me.
21:34
Speaker 1: I use the premar and cream, so you use it
21:37
Speaker 1: twice a week and it's really no big deal. But
21:39
Speaker 1: it is an estrogen, and estrogen is known to cause
21:42
Speaker 1: cancer in women in some women, and I would love
21:46
Speaker 1: not to use that, but you know, if it helps,
21:49
Speaker 1: you have to. I mean, like, it's very uncomfortable not
21:52
Speaker 1: using it, so I use it. I can't believe I'm
21:54
Speaker 1: telling like the whole world this, but here I am
21:56
Speaker 1: why because you're normal, You're And also I think that
21:59
Speaker 1: people listen you to just deserve to know this because
22:01
Speaker 1: you know, maybe they're not experienced this now, but you
22:04
Speaker 1: know hearing this and if it happens to you in
22:06
Speaker 1: five years or whatever, like you have some like some tools.
22:08
Speaker 1: But I love the idea of that red light therapy.
22:10
Speaker 1: I will certainly try it ten minutes. It makes you
22:13
Speaker 1: lay down for ten minutes or sit down. I don't
22:15
Speaker 1: know whatever is it, but yeah, and if it works,
22:17
Speaker 1: you don't have to put that chemical on you. So
22:19
Speaker 1: I love that idea and thank you for doing that research.
22:22
Speaker 1: So that was really, really, really helpful.
22:24
Speaker 2: I didn't find any vitamins or kinds of foods that
22:27
Speaker 2: would help.
22:28
Speaker 1: I'm like, are you eating the foods or are you?
22:30
Speaker 1: Are you putting them all? God?
22:31
Speaker 2: That could be back to avocado.
22:34
Speaker 1: I don't know.
22:46
Speaker 2: How do you keep the spark alive when long distance?
22:51
Speaker 2: How about sexting? And what is the key to a
22:55
Speaker 2: good sext message? Pictures or no pictures?
23:00
Speaker 1: So I have not had a lot of experience the texting.
23:03
Speaker 1: Maybe a small amount of experience with texting or sexting.
23:07
Speaker 1: But I think keeping the so first of all.
23:12
Speaker 2: Long distances long that you know I'm dealing with that.
23:14
Speaker 1: I know both of us have that, and yes, I'm sorry.
23:17
Speaker 1: It's a little hard. It is. It truly is so.
23:20
Speaker 1: I mean, and the sex part of it certainly is
23:21
Speaker 1: like maybe the one of the big things that you
23:24
Speaker 1: black or not even just just the physical touch like
23:26
Speaker 1: having the person sitting next to you hold in your
23:28
Speaker 1: hand or whatever.
23:29
Speaker 2: The minutes. Yeah, right, how he keeps the mapp over
23:34
Speaker 2: the phone. I was uncomfortable. As bold as I am,
23:38
Speaker 2: that's one thing that I was not comfortable.
23:40
Speaker 1: I feel very odd and I've never sent a picture
23:43
Speaker 1: ever ever.
23:44
Speaker 2: I'd send the picture before I do it live, like
23:47
Speaker 2: face touched.
23:47
Speaker 1: I could never do it live.
23:49
Speaker 2: And they're waiting, they're trying to do it at the
23:51
Speaker 2: same time.
23:51
Speaker 1: I don't really get it.
23:52
Speaker 2: It was odd. I'm going to fake it just to
23:56
Speaker 2: get it over with because I'll finish.
24:00
Speaker 1: I know. I find it very like it seems like
24:02
Speaker 1: you're you're playing a part in a movie. Like I
24:05
Speaker 1: don't really I think it'd be very hard to get
24:07
Speaker 1: into it, like get into the like get into the
24:09
Speaker 1: whole action.
24:10
Speaker 2: Some people it's they like and this part of it,
24:14
Speaker 2: you know, and they can do it because they're not
24:16
Speaker 2: next to each other.
24:17
Speaker 1: It's only over a screed. Yeah, for me, that was worse.
24:21
Speaker 1: I feel like then they're actually watching you. Like I
24:24
Speaker 1: close my eyes a lot everything.
24:27
Speaker 2: I don't have to see it.
24:28
Speaker 1: I know. Chuck always like just kidding, like he'll have
24:31
Speaker 1: eve been in his office, like in a meeting, and
24:32
Speaker 1: and he'll go send me a pick, like he's always
24:34
Speaker 1: seen send me a pick. I've never sent him a pick,
24:36
Speaker 1: but he just thinks it's funny.
24:37
Speaker 2: You should shock them sometimes sometime, like even in your
24:41
Speaker 2: nightgaye or so sexy.
24:44
Speaker 1: That's on, I should do it. I think he might
24:47
Speaker 1: have a heart attack, so I don't know. I'd like
24:49
Speaker 1: to keep him around, so I might not be able
24:51
Speaker 1: to do that.
24:51
Speaker 2: He mightn't do it.
24:53
Speaker 1: Okay, then, oh well, the next question is thoughts on
24:55
Speaker 1: spacetime texting. Any tips on how to do it right
24:58
Speaker 1: or why to avoid I think you and I have
25:00
Speaker 1: already answered that one. We don't know how to do
25:03
Speaker 1: it right. I were uncomfortable.
25:04
Speaker 2: So there's a thing like some men like women to
25:07
Speaker 2: dress up for bedtime. Yeah, another thing I'm comfortable with.
25:11
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I put on loves.
25:15
Speaker 2: Stockings, you know stockings. Oh I'm like, oh, I put
25:20
Speaker 2: them on before I get into bed. Like it's a
25:22
Speaker 2: hard thing, you know. I kind of like the poor
25:25
Speaker 2: and I guess we're going back to that.
25:26
Speaker 1: I don't I don't feel it either or either, Like
25:30
Speaker 1: I don't get dressed up before I go, but I
25:31
Speaker 1: take up all my makeup and I look really bad.
25:33
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry.
25:34
Speaker 2: I just prior to that.
25:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, I got it the make up on
25:39
Speaker 1: and only undressed partially, and they like heels, like.
25:42
Speaker 2: Seriously to go to bed and you have to walk
25:45
Speaker 2: in and and show the part that if you walked
25:49
Speaker 2: in and I was putting it on, okay, yeah, Like
25:52
Speaker 2: I'm a little behind in that area.
25:53
Speaker 1: I used to say that. So like my late husband
25:57
Speaker 1: I had, we had a good sex life, and I
25:59
Speaker 1: used to say, like, if I don't want to have
26:01
Speaker 1: SEC that night, I have to go into the closet
26:03
Speaker 1: and change because if he sees me undressing, it's a
26:05
Speaker 1: done deal. Yeah we're doing it.
26:07
Speaker 2: Yeah.
26:08
Speaker 1: So and I love that about him. I love that
26:09
Speaker 1: he like loved my body even you know, years later,
26:12
Speaker 1: But there are some nights I was like, I just
26:13
Speaker 1: got to closet and change.
26:15
Speaker 2: And a lot of times women will feel self conscious. Yeah,
26:18
Speaker 2: you know. And I've talked to men and especially Fred
26:21
Speaker 2: and I got a big belly, or this is happening
26:25
Speaker 2: that beautiful? They don't.
26:27
Speaker 1: They don't care, but we agree with you.
26:30
Speaker 2: They know it doesn't bother them. A woman's body is
26:33
Speaker 2: a woman's body, no matter how big or small or
26:36
Speaker 2: uneven it is. They get turned on by the.
26:39
Speaker 1: Totally agree with you. Yeah, they're not seeing that we
26:41
Speaker 1: are like saying or saggy boobs or whatever. Yeah, they're like,
26:44
Speaker 1: they're just boobs.
26:45
Speaker 2: We've had children. I've heard women share that they have
26:48
Speaker 2: basectomies because of breast cancer. But they're alive and well
26:52
Speaker 2: and they're uncomfortable getting naked in front of somebody. But
26:56
Speaker 2: you would think that if that's your partner and you're
26:59
Speaker 2: going to have sad you love him, right, that's right
27:02
Speaker 2: and he should be able to accept. But it's more
27:05
Speaker 2: the individual herself.
27:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are way more conscious about It's like, you know,
27:10
Speaker 1: they say women put on makeup for other women or
27:12
Speaker 1: for themselves. They don't put it on for a man,
27:14
Speaker 1: and that is very true. Like I don't put on
27:16
Speaker 1: make up for a dress for me. You know me too?
27:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well I love this. This was a fun day.
27:22
Speaker 1: It was a great conversation.
27:23
Speaker 2: Might have to rent some porn this weekend and see
27:25
Speaker 2: what I'm missing, you know what you think?
27:27
Speaker 1: And I'm going to practice my sex and skills. Can
27:28
Speaker 1: I send you a couple of times? Can you tell
27:32
Speaker 1: me how the hell they're working on you?
27:34
Speaker 2: I can see the head guys, they switch teams.
27:38
Speaker 1: I think. I think next time we do a podcast
27:40
Speaker 1: like this, I would love to have a man's opinion
27:42
Speaker 1: on some of these things.
27:43
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, we'll do it. Three not a three had
27:49
Speaker 2: to go? There? Didn't you have to go?
27:51
Speaker 1: That wasn't one of our questions today.
27:53
Speaker 2: Perfect.
27:54
Speaker 1: I can't believe the producers.
27:55
Speaker 2: Left that out. With that being said, this was great.
27:59
Speaker 2: So honestly, I could talk to you about anything.
28:03
Speaker 1: I think we do that all the time. We've never
28:05
Speaker 1: had like a silent moment when we've been together. We
28:07
Speaker 1: always have something to talk about. We have good banter.
28:11
Speaker 2: Yes we do, Yes we do. And with that said, yeah,
28:15
Speaker 2: if you're single and ready to mingle this summer and
28:20
Speaker 2: you want some help in finding someone in chapter two.
28:23
Speaker 1: We're here to help. Send us an email or leave
28:25
Speaker 1: us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes,
28:28
Speaker 1: so follow us on socials too. We want to hear
28:30
Speaker 1: from you absolutely.
28:31
Speaker 2: I definitely want to know if you watch porn m
28:34
Speaker 2: and if you say you're dating quantity. There's a lot.
28:38
Speaker 2: It's your vagina to try.
28:41
Speaker 1: And what is the question? What are the questions you
28:43
Speaker 1: ask in a first date? Oh yes, yeah, these are
28:46
Speaker 1: good questions.
28:46
Speaker 2: We have even better ones. Yeah, I'd like to know them.
28:49
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
28:50
Speaker 2: And this is I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast
28:53
Speaker 2: where falling in love is the main objective.
29:00
Speaker 1: Se