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When Business Gets Personal: Navigating Leadership & Friendship · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back to the Bougie Multipreneur, where we talk about building businesses, growing as leaders, and doing it all without losing ourselves in the process.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary Huschauer, and today's episode is one I think a lot of business owners, especially women, struggle with, but don't always talk about it openly.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that is leadership versus friendship in business.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's be honest, when you start a business, especially a small one, your team can start to feel like family.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: You spend a lot of time together, you celebrate wins together, you go through the stressful moments together, and before you know it, those lines between boss and friend can get really blurry.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to talk about where that line should be, what happens when it gets crossed, and how to lead in a way that is kind but still clear.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: So why is this so hard?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start with why this is even an issue.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're like me, you're not trying to be a cold corporate boss.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You want a positive culture, a supportive environment, and a team that actually enjoys coming to work.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, that's a good thing.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But then here's the problem when you prioritize being liked over being respected, things start to fall apart.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You might notice things like you avoid hard conversations.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked about this in the last episode of the Bougie Multipreneur.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: You let things slide that you shouldn't.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You feel frustrated, but you don't say anything.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: You start to carry more weight around the office than everyone else, and resentment builds.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe if you're like a lot of us, passive aggressiveness starts.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that your team is bad, but because you didn't create clear expectations as a leader, this is why things are happening.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You are not their friend first.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: This might be the part that stings a little bit for us, but I'm gonna say it anyways.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: You are not their friend first.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: You are their leader first.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, does that mean you can't be friendly?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: But your primary role is to guide, to set the standards, to make decisions, and to protect the business.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth your business supports your family, your income, your future, and possibly their livelihoods too.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're avoiding leadership to keep friendships comfortable, you're actually doing a disservice to everyone.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: So what happens when we get too friendly?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've been there before.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I a lot of us have.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of my clients and friends.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: When the lines get blurred, we've all done this and lived through this.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: When leadership turns into friendship without boundaries, the big B word, the accountability drops, the respect within the office can slowly fade away, and expectations become unclear.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's favoritism, right?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Intentional or not, it can creep in.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the biggest things, it becomes really hard to correct the behavior.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because now you're thinking, especially if you're like me, I don't want to hurt their feelings.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want this to be awkward.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: What if this affects our relationship?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the reality: avoiding the conversation actually hurts the relationship more because now you're frustrated, they're unaware, and the tension builds silently.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: How many of us, you don't have to raise your hand because I can't see you, feel this way, do this, but not even just at work, maybe at home too, right?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: We avoid things that are uncomfortable to talk about.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're passive aggressively saying things, and we're just letting the tension build up until someone explodes.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Communication is so hard.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, in business, in in marriages, with your kids, with your friends, family.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess this doesn't really apply only to business, right?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: What does stronger leadership look like in your office?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like to lead well and without becoming like cold or disconnected?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Here's some things I've learned.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: We need to set clear expectations from the beginning so they don't have to guess what they're expected to do for their job or what success looks like and where the boundaries are.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's the clarity that creates confidence in them.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: We also need consistency over emotion.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Leadership is not about how you feel that day and how things are gonna be on this day or that day.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's showing up consistently day after day.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Following through these, this is the SOP, this is the plan.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: We are going to stick through it.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that Dr.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary has having a bad day and everything's gonna change today.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's following through, being consistent and treating everyone fairly, not just having your favorites, right?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: But everyone is treated fairly.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times I say, like, treat people like you would want to be treated.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking at the way you treat someone, do you want someone to treat you that way?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Address things early.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: If something feels off, it probably is.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Small conversations early prevent big problems later.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you can just you walk into the office and you just feel something's off with maybe your front desk receptionist.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of just ignoring them, like, oh, she must be in a bad mood today.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna be around her.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: You might want to take five minutes and call them off to the side.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Is everything okay?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: You look pretty down today, or you seem a little bit on edge.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And they might tell you and they might not, but at least you're you're calling it out there because what if they're like that every day?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, Well, I'm just not a morning person.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then why the heck did you sign up to work a shift at 7 a.m.?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: But be kind and direct.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is huge.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: People think that being kind is passive and that being direct is harsh, but it's not true.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: You can say something like, Hey, I want to talk through this because I really care about your growth here.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's being a leader.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: So can you be friends with your team?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is yes, but not at the expense of leadership.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the best environments I've seen in work to build have been respect first, clarity first, and leadership first.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Then friendship can exist over time on top of that already foundation of respect, clarity, and leadership.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's not another way around it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Friendship without structure creates chaos, but leadership with respect, that's the trust that we want.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just say if you are in a situation where your boundaries are blurred, or you feel taken advantage of, or you're avoiding conversations, you're not alone.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is something almost all of us business owners go through at some point.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: But what I've learned the hard way, the longer you wait to fix it, the harder it becomes.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's the hard truth.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Not everyone will grow with you.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Not everyone's meant to grow with you.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not everyone that you started with is meant to end with you.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's okay.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Your job is not to keep everyone comfortable, your job is to lead your business forward.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because remember, you're working for you and your family, your community, and the lives of your employees.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So if you take anything from today's episode, let it be this: you can be a great leader and a kind person, but you have to be clear.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity is kindness, boundaries are leadership, and respect is built, not assumed.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode hit home for you, I would love for you to share it, maybe with another business owner who might need to hear this.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're in a place where you're trying to figure out how to lead your team better, build your systems, and grow without burning out, that's exactly what I do with my coaching.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I offer coaching in consulting for service-based businesses.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot of chiropractors right now, but together we build the systems, the clarity, the momentum.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I even work one on one with their team members.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just the doctor and I.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: So follow me on Instagram, Hillary Hushower Jones.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know how you like it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And remember be a money magnet.