Latest / Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr. / He Went From Def Jam To Hotel Rooms… Then God Turned It Around | JeVon DeWand (Love You Moore Show)

Transcript

He Went From Def Jam To Hotel Rooms… Then God Turned It Around | JeVon DeWand (Love You Moore Show) · Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr.

0:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey family, Willie Mojoon.
0:01
[SPEAKER_05]: You're here and welcome to another episode of The Love You More Show.
0:05
[SPEAKER_05]: What this environment has been set up for people just like you and I, who've been through hurts, habits, hangups, heart breaks, and our journey to loving ourselves again just a little bit.
0:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Come on, say it with me more.
0:17
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0:19
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0:25
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0:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Subscribe and I promise you you gonna love it here.
0:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Come on somebody before we get started I would love for you to hear about my amazing partner RX Outreach.
0:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Now with this new beautiful bill medical expenses and insurance has gone through the roof
0:46
[SPEAKER_05]: But I want to make sure to all of my people that you continue to get your medicine and little to no cost.
0:53
[SPEAKER_05]: And that's why I partnered with my friends at RX Outreach.
0:57
[SPEAKER_05]: So whether you've lost your job and you said, man, I've fallen on some hard times financially.
1:02
[SPEAKER_05]: And I no longer can afford my medicine or maybe you say I just don't have insurance no more because it just costs too much.
1:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Our ex-outreach will take great care of you.
1:12
[SPEAKER_05]: So head over to rxoutreach.org forward slash Willie Moore Jr. or click the link in this YouTube or call this little number right here.
1:20
[SPEAKER_05]: So come on, put that number right there.
1:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Come on, somebody.
1:22
[SPEAKER_05]: You see it?
1:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Call it.
1:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Let's want to make sure that you get what you need.
1:25
[SPEAKER_05]: All right?
1:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Now it's time for the show.
1:32
[SPEAKER_03]: Love, love you more
1:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey family, Willie Mojoon.
1:44
[SPEAKER_05]: You're here and welcome to another edition of The Love You More Show.
1:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Family, listen, I am so related about the conversation that we are about to have today.
1:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Have you ever had moments in your life where you think to yourself, God, where are you?
1:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Have you ever had people let you down?
1:59
[SPEAKER_05]: They said they were going to do one thing with the end up doing another.
2:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Have you ever thought that you were at the pinnacle of your life in career and the bottom falls out?
2:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Well,
2:09
[SPEAKER_05]: The gentleman that I'm about to sit with today have worked with the likes of one, 12, and the dream.
2:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Some of the highest level artists in the music business.
2:20
[SPEAKER_05]: In fact, at one point of his life, he was the face of the Atlanta Braves.
2:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Today, he's a rise and star in the inspirational format.
2:29
[SPEAKER_05]: He worked for some of the most amazing producers, and he given us that knocking gospel music.
2:34
[SPEAKER_05]: He goes by the name of Giovanna Warn.
2:37
[SPEAKER_05]: What's happening, champion?
2:37
[SPEAKER_02]: What's up, champion?
2:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Good to see you, man.
2:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Love you back, man.
2:40
[SPEAKER_05]: How do you feel, man?
2:41
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't never had it this good.
2:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I have to tell people that.
2:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, so right now, yeah, it's the battle of the bling.
2:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know he was gonna put it on.
2:49
[SPEAKER_02]: You already know what happened.
2:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember I woke up this morning.
2:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I looked outside, and I seen that hat.
2:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it was peeping through my window.
2:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, with my brother, when I ran over your house, he did the same thing, brother.
3:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Man, literally, I said, man, I'm gonna go, I said, this is gonna be your mind.
3:03
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm gonna put some on.
3:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
3:05
[SPEAKER_05]: So let me put some on.
3:06
[SPEAKER_02]: You did.
3:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, we're flexing up each other.
3:08
[SPEAKER_05]: So here's the thing.
3:09
[SPEAKER_05]: I like to do an icebreaker and it's not this joke That people do and then it lands late and he like what was that about?
3:17
[SPEAKER_05]: This icebreaker is actually what you and I love to do.
3:21
[SPEAKER_05]: It's called music.
3:22
[SPEAKER_05]: This song is called turning point.
3:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Check this out
3:24
[SPEAKER_04]: Why?
3:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Say a lot of people don't understand again, right?
3:27
[SPEAKER_04]: So there's no stability in this doll, while you live in our firm, there's a dream I'm saying, if people don't buy your news, if you don't eat, then so it'll be half way So I'm saying yeah, I'll tell you that I'm a real man Steady striving for the storm, I'm only forcing you fame On my face, I'm smiling, in my home
3:54
[SPEAKER_04]: My promise at times, I wanna break down No one loves you, it's me It's time we're going up and going back now If you believe, you'll love me Taking private precautions, times getting harder Do what we gotta do to feed our sons And notice, you won't let us survive I'll think you got your word You just told me to claim it And it's all I do
4:43
[SPEAKER_05]: The name of the song is Terny Point, featuring my dear brother Tank Major Love to him.
4:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Javon, you have done everything from choreography to writing music to even starring in certain movies.
5:00
[SPEAKER_05]: What was your biggest terny point in the industry that kind of shifted your trajectory?
5:05
[SPEAKER_05]: What would you say out of all the things you've done?
5:07
[SPEAKER_02]: What was the biggest terny point?
5:13
[SPEAKER_02]: finding a way to bed on yourself.
5:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And at that time, to bed on yourself, was all the times I was behind so many different people, and I end up getting a deal at Death Jam, with my brother Sheet Dog, who passed.
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've been trying to get a major deal.
5:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been out here dancing and rapping all along.
5:32
[SPEAKER_02]: stage is everywhere you can imagine.
5:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still independent and she cares to it rest in peace.
5:39
[SPEAKER_02]: He took me to L.A. Reece and I can't make him drink the water but you deserve to be there.
5:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, well if you take me, I'm gonna get him drunk.
5:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So he took me to New York and I performed in front of L.A. Reed and he went crazy sign, he locked me in the building, all these things happened, right?
5:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, unfortunately, she killed Stewart past and that was the biggest turning point for me because I was right there.
6:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I was doing Hollywood with Judge Ferry when I first met him.
6:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to bow out to, you know, again, chase out of the building.
6:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It's all these things happening.
6:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, okay, my music was still clean.
6:14
[SPEAKER_02]: It was called Hollywood.
6:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
6:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like inspiring the youth and all these things.
6:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And then he passed.
6:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And he was my in-r.
6:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I got lost.
6:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I was lost in the shuffle.
6:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, okay, I'm doing this new show called Dreamland It's on BET.
6:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I produced that show.
6:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm working right now.
6:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna face all the braids.
6:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm thinking everything is add No, you know what I mean?
6:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Like man you go to the turn of fear.
6:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna face all the braids.
6:37
[SPEAKER_02]: The theme song all these things like yeah God is happening is happening
6:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Boom, he's gone.
6:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Now I have nobody to speak to.
6:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I have nobody to connect in deaf jam.
6:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I'm lost against.
6:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I'm sitting here with music.
6:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sitting here with, you know, frustration.
6:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, man, I quit.
6:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And that was the turning prize like me.
6:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not doing that anymore.
6:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I'm going to do now is I'm just going to go to where I elevate where I can control my own destiny.
7:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And at that time, I didn't know what that was, yeah.
7:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know what that was.
7:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So now you're talking about yellow slips all along my door, because I don't have nothing.
7:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Coryography is over with.
7:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I left it.
7:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Acting is over.
7:16
[SPEAKER_02]: At the time, I was trying to go act.
7:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It was the times where people want me to come do casting and I didn't come because I was touring.
7:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Then I had my son.
7:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So now my son is here and I'm like, okay.
7:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I thought the turning point was to quit,
7:30
[SPEAKER_02]: God said, this was the turning point to live, but God soon as I had my son, that was my particular new purpose in my new energy.
7:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And that was the biggest turning point for me.
7:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Not just to have a son or a kid, it's because he know he gave me a God child.
7:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's the truth.
7:45
[SPEAKER_02]: He never left my side.
7:47
[SPEAKER_02]: He never wanted to leave my side.
7:48
[SPEAKER_02]: He always was there in hugging on me, no matter what.
7:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm talking about, I'm walking out, leaving.
7:54
[SPEAKER_02]: and at the time the mother of my child in a hotel is trying to figure out how we're going to eat, rent, no building, no car, nothing, bro.
8:03
[SPEAKER_05]: So divide to those people, I want to run the story back, because a lot of people don't know.
8:10
[SPEAKER_05]: that you've been in behind, a lot of great music, one of the most amazing choreographers.
8:15
[SPEAKER_05]: One of the pillars in my opinion, when I first met you, that was like, oh no, you know he did the drink, he did the dish, he did the dead.
8:22
[SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, wow, like one of the pillars of Atlanta music scene, you find yourself with your name and lights.
8:29
[SPEAKER_05]: As a man, you feel like it's about to happen and the rug is pulled from up under you.
8:35
[SPEAKER_05]: Now you have a son, you say that you're living in hotels with the mother of your child.
8:40
[SPEAKER_05]: As a man, what does that make your mind feel like when it's like, I can't provide the way I want to provide for my family the way I want to, and I know I got it on the inside of me.
8:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Alusa, just as the truth, no matter of the potential that you may have in the mirror, right when you look in the mirror, you see full potential of what you are, what you could have been, how close you are, but it's not real if it didn't happen.
9:11
[SPEAKER_02]: When I leave at that time with the mother my child is seeing in my son, and I'm pulling away from you talking about a travel age.
9:18
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to just talk about a regular hotel bro.
9:20
[SPEAKER_02]: A travel age and you pull in off and you're pulling off not to go to work.
9:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Only you're going to try to figure out how to get to work because you ain't gonna know a car either.
9:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It's gone.
9:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It's over.
9:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm like man, it's over's not at that time.
9:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're talking about calling the friend to pick you up.
9:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So every time a person came and picked me up, it would be a sheep dog or whoever it was at the time.
9:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Every time you roll down that street, every stoplight was a transition stop to my mind.
9:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And boy, I'm lost.
9:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm gonna do now.
9:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I got somebody depending on me.
9:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Not just me or man I'm what I'm gonna do.
9:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't fake it.
9:57
[SPEAKER_02]: They say fake it to you make it how you're gonna fake something you ain't got So then you might put these clothes on and you know spread your love you know at that time maybe You know some shag on some Yeah, it's me.
10:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you see me.
10:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I can go to the clubs trying to net work and do these things and I say men I I really am already watered up because it's the truth.
10:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I I really was a Master
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: of Smokey Roberts and Tears of a Cloud, the Master of it.
10:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I walk in there, hey, Javine, fine, this and this and this and this but when I leave out, man, I don't even know what it go, bro.
10:31
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the truth, no way.
10:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing, sleeping in storage rooms, and I get up and put the little clothes on, same thing again, hand wash it, go back out.
10:40
[SPEAKER_02]: When I got a network, I got a network, I got a get-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out-out
11:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
11:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you're talking about your show, love you more.
11:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I am the essence and the definition of exactly that DuPane and trauma bro like straight up and this is Nuju Vaughn I'm just taking you back to Vaughn how did you find it and you know I'm saying you might go out in
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Give love on another level to so many different people as you talked about.
11:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I found the dream I brought the dream to trick you Stuart.
11:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I had Estadine Grammy Award rendering right to trick you Stuart I brought you know Rico loves sending a car thinking about writing a song because he would come over and wrap with me He was amazing him in the cornerboards and one day he was just like I'm confused I'll know what to do when you wrote this song called throwback, but he needs a hook JQ walks out I introduced that blue can trail.
11:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I find her and bring it to red zone
11:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And the biggest thing that I realize is that at that time,
11:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know who I was in my value.
12:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just giving.
12:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I bought into so many words that we hear all the time.
12:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Team, family, love.
12:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was really open to that because you're talking about a person that was abandoned from it from a childhood.
12:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So any time you came to my life and used those words, I connected to those words, because you told my man that didn't get hooked as much.
12:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So any hook that I got, even if it was verbally and with it, so that's the breaking point of breaking a person heart.
12:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it ain't about a woman or relationship.
12:34
[SPEAKER_02]: It's about the people around you and your circle.
12:37
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why so many kids can go and be in the bloods and cramps because it's the true love, but really it's not.
12:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just a facade, because you empty.
12:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
12:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that time.
12:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey, family, we're going to get right back to this amazing conversation, but I want to challenge you right now to subscribe to this channel.
12:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I've been told that 60% of the people actually watch this show are not currently subscribed.
13:03
[SPEAKER_05]: So that means that I need you to press subscribe, right?
13:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Leave a comment because we want to let the world know that these conversations are making an impact all around the world and the easiest way to do that is for you to subscribe to this channel.
13:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Go now, now back to the conversation.
13:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Let's run back as a child growing up.
13:20
[SPEAKER_05]: You're from Atlanta.
13:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and I know that your father worked really, really hard at the stadium.
13:29
[SPEAKER_05]: And his name rings Bill, you know, when he transitioned, you know, I was just grateful.
13:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I just interviewed you.
13:37
[SPEAKER_05]: So I went there and he's like, yeah, you know, everybody rings Bill.
13:40
[SPEAKER_05]: So he said that wasn't a lot of hugs and love.
13:43
[SPEAKER_05]: What was it
13:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, of course, the same amazing story of most black women having a single parent.
13:52
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, trying to make it work in my mom can only give me exactly what she had.
13:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So let's know, fault and side of this conversation.
13:59
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom is beautiful person.
14:01
[SPEAKER_02]: My dad is too, but the relationship didn't work.
14:03
[SPEAKER_05]: So they divorce, so they broke up.
14:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, so they can work.
14:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So a lot of times when divorce happened, in relationship don't work, a lot of times, co-parenting don't either.
14:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You're very blessed for a relationship and a divorce to happen and co-parenting is still amazing.
14:20
[SPEAKER_02]: So because you've got to get through those feelings and never get those feelings in a lot of times, human beings are not,
14:26
[SPEAKER_02]: great at managing the fillings for the kids or whatever the kids may be.
14:32
[SPEAKER_02]: So a lot of times, even my father, great relationship, I love him, but I remember at times, you know, sitting on the steps and I hear him tell me, I'm on my way, I'm on my way, I'm on my way, and I pack my bags, my brother,
14:46
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, might meet, pet my bags and sit on the steps and just wait and he never come.
14:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I always broke my heart to say, and I told him this, so rest in peace I love him.
14:57
[SPEAKER_02]: By I told him, I said, you know, the hardest thing for me to get over is the point you told me was going to do something that you didn't do.
15:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I never told my son I'm gonna do something I didn't do.
15:10
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm in LA where I am, Willie, and he said you coming to my game, I said I'm gonna try my best.
15:15
[SPEAKER_02]: If I tell him that I'm coming, I'm coming.
15:19
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm coming.
15:19
[SPEAKER_02]: They need to go stop it.
15:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Ain't learned stopping it.
15:22
[SPEAKER_02]: period.
15:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what I got from my dad and I told him we sat down one time and I was just like, that's where hurt me the most is because I'm a good kid and I'm playing football and I'm blessedfully good and I'm like, how do you not come to my game?
15:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't on the bench.
15:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I'm doing something.
15:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing something.
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And you didn't show up for me.
15:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So show up and up is bigger than what most people could ever imagine.
15:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Especially for a kid, because those are the things that he or she has to try to get over for a lifetime.
15:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And even rebuilding that friendship and our relationship, which I did and forgiveness for me, not for him.
16:02
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's still in pain as you can see that if you reflect far enough back, then tears are going to roll even though I'm healed.
16:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You probably think that I'm not healed at this point, but we're talking about it.
16:14
[SPEAKER_02]: But not, but I am healed, but I know it's somebody out there that's not.
16:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So if God using me for my tears or whatever, I don't even care because I got to that point, right?
16:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So that was the toughest part seeing that and saying I was like a write a book called around the corner.
16:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I've got so many times he told me around the corner.
16:36
[SPEAKER_02]: But that corner must have came from LA because it never came.
16:41
[SPEAKER_05]: So what type of excuse did your mom give you for your dad or did she wish you ever to give you the comfort and love that you need it when that didn't happen?
16:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, not at that time.
16:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
16:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes, you know, you're talking about, uh, black, strong woman, making way for five boys.
16:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Till you're five of you guys.
17:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, five boys.
17:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You got to think about it.
17:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I give my mama, and any other mothers out there, a true hand clap from the bottom of my heart, no matter because I know how tough it is to raise one.
17:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And to raise five.
17:13
[SPEAKER_02]: boys, that is immensely tough.
17:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So at that time, she's probably only the health, the the volume or the capacity to give me anything at that time.
17:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Because first of all, depends on how you look at my dad and what happened in relationship, because I didn't know what happened.
17:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So you can't give me that because you're probably going to go with the feeling I can't really remember But you probably go with the feeling I told you you know how most people are told you You don't do what you're gonna do whatever and I'm not saying she did or not I'm just telling you the other side I didn't get the
17:47
[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay, because it ain't okay, so and if it was gonna be okay, it wasn't there at that moment in that time So you got to think about it.
17:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I don't have that and here I have a Mother that is trying to give everything she has and everything she don't have to make it happen
18:09
[SPEAKER_02]: for five boys.
18:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And that ain't easy.
18:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So my mom would get all the praise for me.
18:15
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what we've been through, no matter how many times you're arguing, no matter how many times I got put out, no matter how many times whatever, because also I was not the greatest kid.
18:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I was not the greatest guy.
18:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I was fighting the pain that I could not speak.
18:34
[SPEAKER_05]: I can only imagine how many kids right now fighting the pain that they don't have the words to communicate.
18:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
18:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's why it's important to show that you have is the beat of voice of the unheard, the beat of pain and the passion.
18:48
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I'm giving it to you, passion and transparent, especially for these kids.
18:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you have pain bottled up inside, but you don't know how to say it.
18:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So you just send over there in the corner in the dog.
18:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
18:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been that.
19:00
[SPEAKER_05]: So when you look at,
19:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Why do you think a loving guy would allow you to navigate such troubled waters that such a young age?
19:12
[SPEAKER_05]: How have you turned what you had to go through into maybe a lifeless?
19:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Easy.
19:19
[SPEAKER_02]: No one is exempt from adversity, no one.
19:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But see, there's a thing about that I've learned later on in life.
19:32
[SPEAKER_02]: We go through pain, but we got to find a way to make our pain our champagne.
19:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I like that.
19:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
19:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we got to make our pain our champagne.
19:41
[SPEAKER_05]: You go through that again.
19:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to get you created two times a third time.
19:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to be like, I forgot who told me to do that.
19:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So I love we got to make our pain our champagne and through our pain we don't know how to celebrate it.
19:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Because in the darkness, you can't find it, right?
19:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You're sitting in the darkness and you cannot find it.
19:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're trying to make something not, what's tangible?
20:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything you hear in your neighborhood is gone fire.
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything you hear in your house is arguments.
20:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything you hear around you in the music and everything around you telling you you can't.
20:09
[SPEAKER_02]: you're not, you're this, you're that, all you hear is death, all you hear is darkness, you don't even know what it turns.
20:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So soon as the first person coming your life and say something positive or a pro and give you any type of affirmation, you go.
20:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So what happened is, it's something that then that I did not have.
20:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Even the people that I helped and didn't reciprocate it to me and all of these things that took me through those tumultuous times I would be so man and so hurt and like and I asked these questions like why I name a lot of question God 1000 maybe a million times like why I ain't didn't nothing why why and he never answered me
20:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Never.
20:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I never got no clarity.
20:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And if I ask my mother or my or anybody next to me, they can answer me either because most people don't have your why.
21:00
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't.
21:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had to go and change and then find and say to myself, why not?
21:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's when the power of the depression went up the ladder.
21:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I didn't know that there was a debasement in depression.
21:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So have
21:18
[SPEAKER_02]: for you, where you got people, and I'm speaking for the people, man.
21:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Because now you make me go back.
21:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of times, I make sure that I put up cement walls not to go backwards, but it's impactful and it's important to me, that I know if somebody that's living in the present right now.
21:44
[SPEAKER_02]: that don't know they don't make it through or know how they're going to make it through.
21:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm speaking for them because I'm not talking about motivation.
21:54
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not motivation.
21:55
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a true life.
21:57
[SPEAKER_02]: When the gun is in right there, it's easy.
22:01
[SPEAKER_02]: It's way harder not to do it.
22:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It's easy to do it.
22:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It's easy to say.
22:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm tired.
22:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you young?
22:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And you ain't got no circle, you ain't got no culture, you ain't got no boys and girls club, you ain't got nothing.
22:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And when you walk outside, all you see and you hear is the same thing, bro.
22:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So no matter what you do, you start looking for that love that you're probably never going to find, because the love is actually inside of you.
22:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And until you do exactly what this show is, love you more, love you more, looking at mirrored stuff, saying I am worried that I am powerful, I am sufficient, I am God's child, I am, I am, I am, I am worthy.
22:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And until you start saying it over and over again, I start taking it.
22:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And most people in the artist development, Jagged Edge won't tell everybody about her work with.
22:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And they'll tell you, they will come in and I will do mirror work.
23:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And they would think it's for them only, but it was for me.
23:02
[SPEAKER_02]: They're walking, I'd be like, say, I'm a star, say I'm a star.
23:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay all these things in the mirror, because you need to believe it.
23:08
[SPEAKER_02]: But I was really working on my reflection, so I can know what to reflect.
23:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I don't speak power into me, and I don't believe it.
23:16
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no way for you to even believe the residue that comes with me.
23:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, let's talk about that basement moment.
23:22
[SPEAKER_05]: You said something powerful that, however low you think you are, there's something lower.
23:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, what was your basement moment that made you say, hey man, I gotta get up this ladder, like what was the, I had moment?
23:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, you had this basement moment, what was that?
23:35
[SPEAKER_05]: And then what was something that kind of prepped you to get you out of there?
23:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so many different things.
23:40
[SPEAKER_02]: When my brother Mike, he played, his name is Michael Coyante.
23:44
[SPEAKER_02]: He played more of a daddy rolling my life than anybody.
23:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It's my older brother.
23:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And he always would be the person that gave back to me in some type of way.
23:55
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm trying to play baseball, he the person is in the house, let me throw the sock to him.
23:59
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm trying to play football, he's the person doing that.
24:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So he always did that.
24:03
[SPEAKER_02]: My first car, it was his car.
24:05
[SPEAKER_02]: He gave it to me.
24:05
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
24:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So all those little peaks of sunshine, I would give it to him starting the first, but the biggest thing is it's the day that I walked outside, right?
24:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And my reframing moment really happened for me is I have a brother and I know a lot of people have rotten his in their life.
24:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And this part that does it all the way to today.
24:32
[SPEAKER_02]: My brother, Rodney, is deaf.
24:34
[SPEAKER_02]: He can't speak, he crippled, his legs don't work, all these things in his life, right?
24:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And every day I go to my mom house to this day, I got to see a man with courage to crawl up the steps, with a bowling this mouth.
24:51
[SPEAKER_02]: crawling his knees in the kitchen, cook his own food, do everything they do you want, you don't need to do.
24:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Watch his dishes and then crawl down the steps again.
25:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Every day and one day I'm sitting outside and I'm thinking to myself, how do you have the density, Javan?
25:12
[SPEAKER_02]: When God put you an example right in front of your face, of real courage.
25:17
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not me.
25:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't have the courage you had.
25:20
[SPEAKER_02]: He worked at UPS that stripped that away from him.
25:23
[SPEAKER_02]: He'd been robbed of, I don't know how many times ten, because you can just push him now.
25:26
[SPEAKER_02]: He lost it.
25:27
[SPEAKER_02]: He went and tried to get his own part, man had it, lost that.
25:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Confine love when he did some certain things in life, you know what I mean and brought on some more trauma Like straight up for real and I'm like man, this man doesn't come out the house I don't know the last time he'd been to a of function 5, 6, 7 years to where he don't even order his groceries and don't come outside
25:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm light to myself, how do you have a density to be talking about anything when God has gave you an example?
25:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I missed that example because I'm still sitting in my guilt.
26:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sitting in the gift though.
26:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's when I became a way more aware and gifted when I started looking at him.
26:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So every time I'm back hurting you and I talked about the back and you said, man, we're going these things and you're back.
26:14
[SPEAKER_02]: My car wreck, I remember everything and I'm doing it.
26:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So every time it hurts and every time it hurts, I just go to writing it.
26:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, man, God, thank you, man, for letting me walk again.
26:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You know how many people wish they could walk again?
26:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Move again, talk again.
26:28
[SPEAKER_02]: He's never gonna get that chance, bro.
26:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And it changed my life and every day to this day is my reason why you see me out in the street celebrating.
26:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody, like, oh, Jivina had promoted her song.
26:39
[SPEAKER_02]: He's doing promotion.
26:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, nah, I'm talking to the promoter.
26:43
[SPEAKER_02]: This ain't promotion.
26:45
[SPEAKER_02]: This is God.
26:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I crawled on my knees for six, seven, eight months.
26:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Can't get to the bathroom side it pains.
26:51
[SPEAKER_02]: All these things, crying bent over the bed for six hours and 35 minutes in a preposition.
26:57
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the only way it will stop.
26:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I had to get on my knees willing and bend over to take my back over the bed at my brother house Dante and sit there and just sit there and couldn't do nothing I mean it's killing me like I mean crying I'm calling all of these things and that's the only position that you think God put me in that position for no reason
27:17
[SPEAKER_02]: He put me in that position for the reason, for the reason, bro.
27:24
[SPEAKER_05]: So when you look at the type of lifestyle that you've had to live, shout out to everybody, make sure you subscribe to this channel, deep conversation, shout out to all the brothers who listen to it.
27:32
[SPEAKER_05]: I appreciate all your comments.
27:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Having that type of example of a father, who may have done his best, you don't know what his father went through.
27:44
[SPEAKER_05]: What type of father did his example make you?
27:49
[SPEAKER_02]: The greatest person to be the most transparent man that I could be.
27:54
[SPEAKER_02]: One thing about my father, regardless of any and on in column of states, life lessons of growth, that's why I called it the growing circuit and growing.
28:03
[SPEAKER_02]: My daddy, heart is amazing.
28:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, he's going to tell you, he can meet you one time before you leave.
28:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you.
28:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you when he's at the state front of the ring that he's the energy.
28:14
[SPEAKER_02]: He's the smile.
28:15
[SPEAKER_02]: He's all of that.
28:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So he gave me the passion and he gave me the courage to love out loud.
28:21
[SPEAKER_06]: Mm-hmm.
28:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Because sometimes we just love, but we don't love out loud.
28:25
[SPEAKER_02]: It's very, they make it very awkward to say, hey, as a brother, man, I love you.
28:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah, we do that.
28:30
[SPEAKER_05]: It's awkward.
28:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, but I love you, man.
28:31
[SPEAKER_05]: I remember the white used to be like,
28:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it took me a while, night when I get out the phone, but I broke love, you man.
28:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
28:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, come on with that love.
28:39
[SPEAKER_02]: My brother, my dad broke that code.
28:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
28:42
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't matter who it is, he's gonna say it.
28:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's gonna say it over and over again.
28:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what you got to remember, it's like, we're like laptops.
28:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You either download good software or you download viruses, up to you.
28:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you got to get them out, my dad, it downloadly, that and me.
28:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you, son.
28:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care.
28:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever happened, I did it wrong.
28:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever the case may be.
29:00
[SPEAKER_02]: This happened, but I want you to know that I love you.
29:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you.
29:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you.
29:03
[SPEAKER_02]: over and over again and he taught me how to love and me and my son has brought that generation occurs from the beginning.
29:09
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no way that we get off the farm with each other and he's going to lead to.
29:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's the most beautiful part of it.
29:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:17
[SPEAKER_02]: He leads.
29:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Make it sure that you verbalize the love and make it sure he will.
29:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Quick.
29:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Pop, love you, you to go, you to go pop, not just me giving him something, checking on you, you to go where you at, love you man, and that's one of the biggest accompaniment, accompaniment of my life because I got my son to be different than his friends, and then his friends be different like man, I want to die like yours, and when I'm talking to my son, they all want to sit around and listen.
29:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you talk to him like a man.
29:48
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
29:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Like a human, like a serious, like you pay attention.
29:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
29:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
29:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, hey, son.
29:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna force it on you.
29:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not here to change a mind.
29:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I just told him this other day.
29:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, I'm just here to ask him to it.
30:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
30:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you add the right things enough, you have to change that in a way.
30:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you have to.
30:06
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, you know, when I went through the wars and, you know, I often see it.
30:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I had such a, like a grudge, I had a man who kind of turned it back on nature, just still do.
30:20
[SPEAKER_05]: If you don't take care of your kids, I'm wrong with you, nobody in my circle wrote that way.
30:24
[SPEAKER_05]: However.
30:27
[SPEAKER_05]: as I grew up, I learned to kind of understand that some women have the ability to choose words.
30:36
[SPEAKER_05]: That can hurt a man so bad, that without the right tools, he will literally like avoid and those years will go by so fast because he just afraid to face this type of aggression and aggressiveness from a woman.
30:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Doesn't make it right, or whatever.
30:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Do you think that with some of the things you've had to endure inside of your family in terms of with the mother of your child, or maybe women that you've had along the way?
31:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Do you think some of those words kind of landed and it made you
31:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Said maybe daddy might have went through this do you think that gave you a heart to forgive him for some of the things that he didn't do because you grew up and Saying you know, you kind of grew up and went through some things right absolutely I mean Come on, let's be real everybody want to talk like everybody's just the greatest gift to mankind And we know that's not man old woman and a lot of times we miss manage our feelings so we miss manage our mouth and we miss manage our actions
31:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, that's just being went thousand man or woman.
31:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So and like you said without those two's you're going to mismanage it and sometimes Verbal abuse Especially for certain people man or woman.
31:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm talking about a man right now.
31:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Verbal abuse of things that you say to a man He may never forget compared to you being them up in his and he had a fight outside in his you know eyes black and in the heels
31:55
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you hear your, if you, the first person you meet is your mother, and that's the first woman you meet and she break your heart, you're in the world of trouble.
32:02
[SPEAKER_02]: You're in the world of trouble, it's the first woman you meet is your mother, and your mother break your heart.
32:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't say discipline, you break it.
32:09
[SPEAKER_02]: If it's anything to the rib, you know, you ain't this, are you a mistake?
32:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I wish I never had you so far for so long.
32:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Those things right there would collapse a man.
32:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm telling you, it can slap some women, but I'm talking from a man standpoint because you're asking me a question, it'll collapse you, bro, because it'll make you shut all the way down.
32:27
[SPEAKER_02]: All the way to taking care of the dollar, taking care of the kids, all that, because we are not as men, I say this all the time.
32:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And this to truth, I say women are like,
32:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Not all.
32:40
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot.
32:41
[SPEAKER_02]: A light rubber bands.
32:43
[SPEAKER_02]: They being but don't break.
32:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But a man, once he has loved and been broken, he may not have a love on that love again.
32:51
[SPEAKER_02]: He has to really go get the tools to do it again.
32:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So if my father has been through those things, it's going to take a lifetime to try it again.
33:00
[SPEAKER_02]: It's gonna take a lifetime and doesn't mean that he can be small enough as you're using tools to say we're hey Since I've been through it now, it sounds good, but she don't talk to me crazy and this and it's I ain't showing up no more I'm cool.
33:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm shutting down.
33:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll just pay child support and we'll talk about it later because I ain't got time for the headache Because once you get to a certain point man or woman you looking for peace.
33:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, that's what you're looking for Are you looking and what you're looking for peace?
33:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and when you get the peace, and a lot of people don't know what peace really feel like.
33:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And when you get it really, you like when I ain't trading that for nothing.
33:35
[SPEAKER_05]: nothing.
33:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing.
33:36
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going on?
33:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing.
33:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Money can't do it.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Car can't do it.
33:40
[SPEAKER_02]: A woman can't do it.
33:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing can change it because you like me.
33:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I finally found it.
33:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been looking around this whole world for this feeling and you think I'm by to let you come in here and invade it and with that negative energy and you see I call it mountain top bunkers and valley top and valleys.
33:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Most people like yourself we visit the valley.
33:58
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't live in it.
34:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Thanks.
34:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
34:01
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't live in it.
34:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So I always say inspiration and expectation cannot cause this.
34:07
[SPEAKER_02]: We inspire the best and they expect the best.
34:10
[SPEAKER_02]: We ain't the same.
34:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And when you get around too many expectations, it's going to dim your light and your inspiration.
34:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You can inspire because no matter how much you give, it will never be enough.
34:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And if the words are not, and they think, me and are not mental, women are confused if you think that.
34:34
[SPEAKER_02]: We are strictly mental.
34:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So you think we just physical, I told a young lady the other day, we're not, we actually visual, then physical.
34:42
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why people talk about what you look like when you're in home going to bed, because we visual and we're also mental too.
34:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So after six, I call it that and then what?
34:51
[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing he's going to do is start counting down with those.
34:53
[SPEAKER_02]: like her, does she touch me, does she listen, is she might then think in the beginning because he's thinking physical in a physical world.
34:59
[SPEAKER_02]: But after that, he's going mental if you want to take your home to his mama or he want to take you home and take you down the line to God.
35:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, he's going to think on another level.
35:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it true, man?
35:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So me and a very mental.
35:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So if that's the case, and I'm not talking my ego-tistical only, let's get that out the way everybody got double standards, but I'm singing and stereotypes.
35:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not always ego-tistical.
35:20
[SPEAKER_02]: He's just a thinker.
35:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you could talk to his mind more than you talk to his heart, you're in trouble.
35:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I tell women at a time, I swear to God, you got a daughter, right?
35:32
[SPEAKER_02]: You got a son, correct?
35:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Love both of them.
35:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
35:34
[SPEAKER_02]: But what was the feeling when you first had your daughter?
35:39
[SPEAKER_05]: to fill in that I had when I first had my daughter.
35:45
[SPEAKER_05]: I think it was the overwhelming feeling of love.
35:48
[SPEAKER_05]: And I think it was the overwhelming feeling with my boys.
35:51
[SPEAKER_05]: But I think I went inward.
35:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I was like, I got to be a better version of myself.
35:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Stop right there.
35:57
[SPEAKER_02]: You say that one more time?
35:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I got to do it.
35:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I got to be a better version of myself.
36:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So why would most women, not all?
36:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, why would most women lose the little girl in them?
36:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Why would they lose it?
36:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
36:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So it'd become a woman right in these days and age.
36:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And you hear a lot of them say, I don't need a man.
36:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm independent on this.
36:18
[SPEAKER_02]: But you just said, my little girl made me want to be better and go inside to be better.
36:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you find a woman that knows how to still be the little girl that you see in her, you're going to protect different.
36:33
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to love different.
36:35
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to move different.
36:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're natural thing that God put in you is going to say, protect, serve, bring those things and do all of those things.
36:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to move you different because you speak into your heart, not to your mind.
36:49
[SPEAKER_02]: You get it?
36:50
[SPEAKER_02]: So your dog is like, yeah, my son, I might rough you up.
36:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on, get up boy.
36:53
[SPEAKER_02]: But my son, my your dog only have one.
36:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I can back care as a leaf through people, right?
36:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I got that dog to touch you and stick that lip out.
37:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You like, oh my God, I said, no, but I'm going to have to sneak her this ice cream.
37:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, because there's a level of vulnerability that she has.
37:08
[SPEAKER_05]: So my question now is like, of course, I want to get into a little bit of music.
37:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to just kind of talk about what you're doing now with the Lord is doing.
37:16
[SPEAKER_05]: But I got to ask you this, you know, a man with so much wisdom.
37:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, you out of that basement now.
37:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, your record went number one with the 12 stars.
37:25
[SPEAKER_05]: You worked on with Jazzy Faye.
37:26
[SPEAKER_05]: It seems like in this middle ground of your life, God is deciding to like, all right, now I show turn, right?
37:33
[SPEAKER_05]: You performed on the stellar awards.
37:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Like does companionship, is this deal something that you will want, or do you kind of feel like, hey man, I'm going to protect my piece at all costs and that's not really something that I wanted at this point in my life considering what I've been through.
37:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, absolutely, companionship is definitely what I want, what I have, and you know, someone that is beautiful in my life at this point right now.
37:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, okay.
37:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the kicker though, right?
38:00
[SPEAKER_02]: So this is important in that middle ground of growth, for you not to
38:06
[SPEAKER_02]: and try because you know nothing is guaranteed right nothing in life is guaranteed right when you're talking about it but what you want to do is be the best person that you can be before you decide to be the best person for somebody else
38:21
[SPEAKER_02]: It's you have to do that.
38:23
[SPEAKER_02]: So if I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm saying, bro, you still have a little bit more growing to do in this area, this area, this area, and why you're doing it.
38:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, are you doing the work, you in the gym, same thing, training?
38:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you in the gym?
38:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you working on your recipe and your system?
38:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So that the case is, when you say yes to this young lady, when you say yes, you're saying it from the deepest
38:51
[SPEAKER_02]: See a lot of us speak strictly from villains and this is why we're in and out of love all the time Because it's a feeling based it's not valued based and it's very hard to get to value When my grandmother said you're coming in the morning and I know what she mean, God woke you up
39:11
[SPEAKER_02]: everything else is gone.
39:13
[SPEAKER_02]: They would hold hands, right?
39:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And go to bed and pray about it and close to close that day and never speak about it again.
39:20
[SPEAKER_02]: The next day no matter what happened.
39:23
[SPEAKER_02]: But most of us bring it back.
39:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of times I read things while I'm in my transformation of what I'm doing because I'm not perfect.
39:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just present, right?
39:31
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm working on I read some of the
39:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, the definition, the material question for us, do you think that the speaking and speaking in the tongue is one of the most powerful things that happens in today?
39:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you feel that this is one of the most powerful things we have?
39:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
39:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, we agree.
39:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you have read the definition of the past, it says something that is going and will never come back.
39:58
[SPEAKER_02]: But do you know that most
40:03
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what it says?
40:04
[SPEAKER_02]: What does it say?
40:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever you write down and whatever you speak is your future.
40:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So now let's take that.
40:11
[SPEAKER_02]: If we say him and everybody that's watching that speaking our tongue is powerful, biblically, spiritually and worldly, it's powerful and you agree with this and you read and say, well, the future definition says whatever you write down and speak is your future.
40:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Then we wouldn't that mean that every time you're getting your journal and you write your past and what we just did speak your past without, I'm gonna tell you in a minute, without and you speak it, you and the hams to will of why you're always in the present of your past and your future because all you do is live it all over again.
40:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Over and over again.
40:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You live it over again.
40:52
[SPEAKER_02]: You've like man my journal.
40:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been through this I've been through that and then Willie I did this and it's now I'm living and we can't live in the present Because by time you look up for your future you back at the past again So soon as a girl comes in Willie life or Javanol life for whoever's watching
41:08
[SPEAKER_02]: If you haven't let go the past and you've been talking about it forever, it's going to be your present in your future.
41:14
[SPEAKER_02]: The hardest thing is not to date in my opinion, another person.
41:19
[SPEAKER_02]: The hardest part, the hardest thing about dating is dating yourself.
41:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I enjoyed that.
41:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Good.
41:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh man, we like going out of Ethiopia.
41:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
41:28
[SPEAKER_05]: So old table feels.
41:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
41:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're breaking the generational curses to traditions and conditions that were taught.
41:35
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what somebody told me?
41:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Other days he was like, yeah, black women are hard and difficult.
41:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I went over here and watched this.
41:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I went over here to African-file male culture woman.
41:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I went to Germany.
41:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I found me a German woman.
41:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I went over here and found me Japanese agent all these things.
41:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So far, I'm so wrong.
41:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And you would take that depending on who said it to you and you would apply it to your life, even though you haven't did it and experienced it.
41:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to break that because you already came in with a stereotype that a black woman has to work trip a time harder to impress you because you're thinking that all black women are difficult, which is a lie, all black women are not difficult.
42:10
[SPEAKER_02]: All black women are not, you know, hard to deal with.
42:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Is there some, yeah, there's some black women, some white women, some Chinese men, some black men, me, you and everybody else be deal for good at times, because we hear men.
42:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Why do you say they're white men?
42:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Why women say white men are different?
42:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
42:25
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the time, if you're not, the word aware.
42:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You would do that.
42:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I was that person that gives you more fear because you'd like men I ain't but do that man really most told me you know saying he got married and it was terrible And you told me it was terrible and and Katie both said don't you do it?
42:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean and everybody else and that's thing you know, and I turn on the radio and here it go Don't you don't need it don't you don't get one so everything's society and everything on social media And everything is telling me my life in my future
42:56
[SPEAKER_02]: when I could have just been right in front of my future, but I can't see it, because I'm blocked.
43:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
43:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey, I like to take a moment to let you know about a beautiful opportunity called the flat out family.
43:08
[SPEAKER_05]: AKA our Patreon community.
43:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Now, if you would like to see these amazing episodes a day early, you need to be a part of our Patreon.
43:17
[SPEAKER_05]: And of course, there's so much value that we like to add in our community.
43:21
[SPEAKER_05]: On Monday's, we do our best to make sure that you get the influence and finance that you need with my sisters and I thought on Tuesday, AJ Jordaner is doing his best to give you job opportunities.
43:31
[SPEAKER_05]: On Wednesday, it's all about relationships.
43:33
[SPEAKER_05]: On Thursday, baby, we put in some scholarship money in your student pocket.
43:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Come on, somebody.
43:38
[SPEAKER_05]: And Friday's, baby, we do our best to give you some celebrity guests.
43:42
[SPEAKER_05]: My job is to add value, and my motive is to see you in.
43:47
[SPEAKER_05]: So join the flat out family today by clicking the little link in this YouTube or heading over to flatoutfamily.com.
43:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Now back to the episode, flat out.
43:55
[SPEAKER_05]: Indeed.
43:57
[SPEAKER_05]: You've all just had as we land this plane.
43:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Mm-hmm.
44:01
[SPEAKER_05]: When I look at you, I see a man who is getting to the promise but still fighting through a lot of disappointment.
44:07
[SPEAKER_07]: Mm-hmm.
44:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Not that we want to live in that past because we know that there's a beautiful future.
44:13
[SPEAKER_05]: How do you get rid of the past disappointment when people may not have did what they said they were going to do?
44:22
[SPEAKER_05]: That you see these people get rich off of everything that you put in place.
44:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Like how does one...
44:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Do what you said, put the past in the past tent knowing that there was a life that you had in your heart and your head that you wanted at that time that never came to life because of the mistakes of some of the people who are aligned with you.
44:44
[SPEAKER_02]: The hardest thing to do.
44:47
[SPEAKER_02]: is to be every day of everything that you've been through and try to forget it.
44:54
[SPEAKER_02]: You ain't going to forget it.
44:55
[SPEAKER_02]: The brightness too good, right?
44:56
[SPEAKER_02]: It remembers.
44:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And every time you go through something, it takes you back to the things that you've been through that didn't turn out that way or for you.
45:05
[SPEAKER_02]: But this is what I do.
45:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't just go to the gym.
45:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't call it working out.
45:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I call it training.
45:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I train my mind.
45:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I train my body.
45:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I train my spirit.
45:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I train my emotions.
45:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I train it.
45:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So I have to train it because if I don't direct my mind, my mind going to direct me, it's going to do that, it's going to think for you.
45:23
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I have to do is go and do it and it's going to give you bad thoughts and no matter what, because once you see a person you do all these things you did, I forgive everybody that didn't do right by me.
45:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you think they fall.
45:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna say a dream.
45:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Love them proud of them.
45:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Great.
45:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I was a vessel and God used that vessel for that, right?
45:41
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, yesterday, you know, Taiyo Cruz, all these people that I worked with did anything for that.
45:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I understand now, and I'm gonna be clear.
45:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I do understand why Tina Turner told I, you can have everything just give me my name.
45:56
[SPEAKER_02]: because I work for that.
45:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like anybody that comes in your life and I'm asking you a question, anybody that comes in your life like you're doing now on your platform, carry Dougas and what he's doing in the music and jazz affair and gas money.
46:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And anybody that's spending time with you unwrapping the gifts with you, spending money on you, you should throw them a parade.
46:15
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how thankful you should be, about anybody that believes in you, everybody that's in this room that comes in this room that say, hey, this is willing more and I got willing more back and I'm going to do the makeup, I'm going to open the door, hate you, find you on some water, I'm producing, I don't care who it is, you it's a parade, whole time.
46:32
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a parade and when I learned this, people love you, they just love you on your level.
46:38
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't love you on day level.
46:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So they never want to see your own day level or go beyond that, because we have a bad man or robbing kind of ideology, not super-friends.
46:49
[SPEAKER_02]: But I always say everything around me is super-friends.
46:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So I keep talking to myself over and over.
46:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So today you would think that I was
46:57
[SPEAKER_02]: way more in pain than I actually am.
47:02
[SPEAKER_02]: But I went in the bathroom because I'm really not.
47:05
[SPEAKER_02]: But I went in the bathroom today and I said, God, do me a favor.
47:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Bring it up.
47:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Bring it up.
47:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Bring it out.
47:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care what you do.
47:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I just did this in your bathroom right there.
47:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I went to the bathroom and tried that.
47:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I told you.
47:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I went twice.
47:19
[SPEAKER_02]: The first time I had to use the second time I had to
47:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Real talk and that's why when they say he was red, I was coming out of the bathroom and I was already in there in the mirror saying God listen I'm over some of these things in my life a lot of these things are indeed it, but I need you to bring it back because I'm speaking for the people that's not over it I'm speaking for the people that's going through it.
47:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm speaking for the people that's lost I'm speaking for people that's counting themselves out.
47:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm speaking for the people who says man nobody cares about me I've been you and it's hard to get motivation activation from a person that ain't been you.
47:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been there
47:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been, I've been a walking miracle, five blood clots in my lungs, my brother died from it.
47:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been with my car shot up 32 times and I'm still here.
47:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been crawling on the ground and I'm still here.
48:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been to jail.
48:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been kinder.
48:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been one to murder myself.
48:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been done all of that and I'm still standing right now today talking to you and power.
48:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I decided that God wouldn't done with me and he went through with me.
48:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And you know what's amazing?
48:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I gotta say this for everybody out there.
48:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I really don't want people to keep shaping your life.
48:24
[SPEAKER_02]: You got to shape your life.
48:26
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a difference.
48:26
[SPEAKER_02]: They taught me out of my faith.
48:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I grew up in the church.
48:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I grew up in the church.
48:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I was in the town of shows.
48:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I sang in the choir.
48:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's amazing because I knew church very well.
48:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I just never knew God.
48:41
[SPEAKER_02]: almost hit that for a second.
48:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew church very well.
48:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I just never knew God.
48:45
[SPEAKER_02]: He knew me.
48:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Fifth grade Miss Milton to tell you what you're doing to be divine for, you know, um, career day.
48:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I said no or in the fifth grade.
48:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm thinking it's about animals.
48:56
[SPEAKER_02]: She's seen me lately.
48:57
[SPEAKER_02]: She's late now.
48:58
[SPEAKER_02]: It was God talking to you when about animals.
49:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Because that's my servene and I always say if servene is beneath you, then leadership is beyond you.
49:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So all we don't want will is play and tennis because all we do is serve.
49:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So in that servene sometimes is going to be painful if you think that you don't suppose to be used.
49:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So in all those cases that I talked about, I didn't understand that I suppose to be used.
49:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just not going to be misused and it's only one word that I am today, then I wouldn't
49:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So everything I've been through.
49:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I say to myself you either bad pick or you a bad picker You got to figure out which one you want bro Hey Don't block don't block don't they man don't blame the world.
49:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm good don't blame the world Hey man, so listen you know I like to put a ball this thing and today is no different
49:55
[SPEAKER_05]: I think you get an opportunity to really see that that paying can't really define who you can be.
50:04
[SPEAKER_05]: What you don't know is that, you know, the gospel music industry, javada is making ripples, man.
50:12
[SPEAKER_05]: really shaking things up and it's like, you know, it's not what they're used to, but it's who exactly he is called to be.
50:18
[SPEAKER_05]: And so my challenge to you on the other side of the camera, the question becomes, are you going to waddle in where you were or are you going to move forward into the purpose that God has called you to?
50:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Like the transparency that you experienced today is something that God wants to use in your life as well.
50:34
[SPEAKER_05]: African American people specifically you I know all types of people watched this show.
50:38
[SPEAKER_05]: I know that many of us, we are taught to be ashamed.
50:40
[SPEAKER_05]: You hold your secrets of your family close to your chest.
50:43
[SPEAKER_05]: But now in this particular
50:47
[SPEAKER_05]: time in our life, I think we really have to lean on to the word of God when he says that people are over the cumb by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.
50:57
[SPEAKER_05]: The one thing that I've learned is that when we say the blood of the lamb and this makes sure some people look like the blood of the lamb, my brother Nate and I were talking about it, the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.
51:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Those two are equally important.
51:12
[SPEAKER_05]: your testimony and the blood of the lamb, meaning the cover of Jesus, and your testimony are equally important.
51:20
[SPEAKER_05]: And I think it's time for you to stop polishing it up, dressing it up, and hope that you can make somebody else feel better about what God put you through.
51:31
[SPEAKER_05]: I want you to think about it like this.
51:34
[SPEAKER_05]: If you are a loving father and you are training a football player, and somebody asks that little football player who later becomes an NFL star, how'd you get there?
51:46
[SPEAKER_05]: And they say, man, glory to God, glory to my father.
51:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, now I want to get into what will happen.
51:51
[SPEAKER_05]: And you don't tell the good part and the bad part, you do it in justice to the people who are attempting to learn from you.
51:58
[SPEAKER_05]: And I think church in this culture has become so used to giving this beautiful story that people can live up to.
52:05
[SPEAKER_05]: And you've just done a disservice to the body of Christ and people that love us.
52:10
[SPEAKER_05]: What I heard today was transparency, and my challenge to you is not to be ashamed of your story.
52:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Because in this case, the blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony.
52:21
[SPEAKER_05]: are equally important to bring people back into the kingdom of God.
52:25
[SPEAKER_05]: You've been through something and people deserve to know it because you don't look like what you've been through.
52:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Don't forget to love yourself.
52:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Love you more.
52:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Love you more.
52:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Love you more.