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Transcript

Movie Pitch Trade-off · Movie Meltdown

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: We should probably let people know that this is a
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Patreon exclusive episode.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Is it really? And I mean, it was.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Was it not the greatest conversation you've ever had?
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Man, I just never realized I would one day be
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Patreon-exclusive content.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, we are all over the map, and yet
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: somehow we tie it all together, and we never ramble on,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and we're super smart about everything. Everything.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Especially names.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Anyway, yeah, I think you should definitely listen to ridiculous
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: things that we say like this.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: That puts it in perspective.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: To Walter Hill and cancer action mastermind Walter Hill directing
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: music video looking scenes with songs by Jim Steinman with
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: vinyl clad Willem Dafoe in the background. super hot diane
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: lane somewhere there's uh eg daily wandering in just kind
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: of being a random fangirl which is funny like she
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: just kind of pops up and it's like hey i
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: want to get this movie and then she's in it
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: for a while and then um the other one i
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: think i totally forgot was so heavily featured she the
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: the she has hooked up with this manager who is
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: also kind of now her new boyfriend okay i don't
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: know a million years you would think rick moranis Rick
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Moranis in the weirdest looking suit you've ever seen. It's
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: this double tweed on tweed green thing with a bow tie.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Rick Moranis.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Again, for anyone who hasn't seen this, picture all of
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: this shit going on at once.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Okay, gentle listeners, you cannot hear how wide my eyes
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: are at this moment. So apparently, I don't know much
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: about the backdrop of this film, but apparently it was
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: made by one of those legendary Hong Kong film directors
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: who made it on a shoestring budget.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Which is every movie made in Hong Kong.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, especially back in like the 80s, 90s when they
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: were making all those crazy action movies.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: And here's the deal. Apparently, he couldn't actually get.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: The company in Japan to license him some Street Fighter movies.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: So he tweaked it?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: So he was like, you know what? We'll make a
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Terminator ripoff instead. So in the future, somewhere around, I
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: think it's 2040.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: In a post-apocalyptic future, the world, there's like some baddies
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: that are being run by M. Bison, except he's got
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: a different name. That's what I was going to say.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Does he get to use the name? That's why I
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: say tweaked it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: No, his name is like.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: It's G. Bison, and he's a totally different guy.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Well, he looks identical to M. Bison, except for the
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: fact that he's obviously Hong Kong Chinese. That happens sometimes
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: in that part of the world.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: It does. It does, especially when that's your pool of actors. Anyway.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: and I believe he's referred to as the General, and
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: all of his, and his henchmen, who include Kane, and who's, again,
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: goes by like a different name, like Hollywood or something,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: and then there's, And then there's Toyota, and I'll let
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: you guess who that is.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what I was going to say.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, we're just picking random other... Let's just
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: pick some Transformer names.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Yep, and throw those on there.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Jazz, get over here.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: We got some people to kick in the head. Meanwhile,
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: they are opposed by the future cops, which include Ryu, Guile,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: and Vega, for some reason, is one of the good guys.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: And also, he knows exactly what... how things elicit pathos
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: like he watches in comic book frames and in other
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: films like oh slow motion zoom in uh slow pan
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: out he knows how things generate pathos he doesn't know
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: why that's that's fundamentally his problem basically almost all of
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: his films are filled to the brim with moments saying
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: these are things that you ought to care about but
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: the film itself doesn't know why.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: There's music featured so heavily in music video style in
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: the in-between scenes that it still feels almost, it's one
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: shade away from being a full-on musical, but instead it's
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: just a musical fable. A rock and roll fable, if
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: you will.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: Again, I keep wanting to draw back to Crybaby, although
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: I think I'm going to try to figure out a
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: way that I can mention almost any movie that we
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: talk about today as being, oh, like the Vanilla Ice movie.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Um neither crybaby nor vanilla ice's movie had near as
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: many explosions this hat again it's walter hill so when
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: it's time for fireballs to come blazing onto the street
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: they happen and they happen plentifully so yeah if i
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: haven't sold you yet no no no man go go
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: get this movie right now.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: It is very offensive, I'm sure. In our world.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that a good chunk of the planet that
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I will never meet will find that incredibly offensive.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you can't get away with that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Watching it late at night, I was simply fascinated. Guile
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: teaches a music class in which he does a karaoke
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: version of some song that apparently that actor is, in fact,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: famous for in real life, and he seduces a high
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: school girl.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Which happens, sure.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Using, apparently, electricity coming out of his eyes that goes
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: into her eyes.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I try that all the time. Mine is not working.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: It's not as effective for me either.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: But anyway, for Guile, though, Broomhead, it totally works. In fact,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: at one point he says, oh, you want the secret
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: of the broom, which is my power? Well, that doesn't
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: come cheap. Real lines from the movie.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Confusing.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, so they decide to travel back in time,
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: although Ryu doesn't have to travel back in time, because
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: apparently he's married to the boss's daughter.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I remember that part astoundingly clear.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: It's always a good scenario if you can get yourself
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: into that.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: And so they travel back in time, and they find
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: themselves in Hong Kong of the 90s, and in the
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: middle of this really bizarre action comedy that's playing out
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: by this geek in high school who nobody likes, and
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: so they're throwing, like, massive water balloons at him all
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: the time, and he's constantly getting beaten up by other
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: high school students, including.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: And so what does he do?
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Well, he winds up going down to Cuba, getting drunk
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: and composing his masterpiece. And then he comes back, starts
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: sleeping with like the director of the symphony on the sly,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: writes a terrible symphony, writes a great symphony, winds up
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: like traveling around and just having a good time because
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: he's functionally retired, but still like a famous name in
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: the world of classical music.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Good situation to be in.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's like you're watching... That's another part of
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: this movie.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: It's definitely got that eat, pray, love sort of wish
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: fulfillment for people who would like to imagine that they're cultured.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I just want to loiter around and be in wonderful
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: exotic places and.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Have money to do whatever I want.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Or have an affair with Monica Bellucci in Venice, which
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: totally happens. All this basically translates to a giant battle
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: in which everyone winds up in the school with M.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Bison having also teleported back in time. And they managed
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: to somehow, by feeding him like a computer chip, unlocking
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: the judge's secret, quote, hidden power, along with that of
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: his sister, his mom, and his soon-to-be stepdad.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: So get this.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: His sister turns out to be Chun-Li. His mom turns
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: out to be also Chun-Li, but she calls herself Chun-Li's mom.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: And has a slightly different color outfit. And they both,
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: by the way, do the spinning scissor kick, and it's
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: realistic as all hell. The dad, who's been wearing this
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: terrible tan and these awful Hawaiian shirts and looks like
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: a total yuppie, he turns out to be Blanca. And
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: there are some great images of him as a beach
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: ball bouncing around and attacking all the bad guys. And
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: then finally, the loser kid, once his power is unlocked,
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: he turns into... off-brand goku oh lord yes how.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Much crossing over weirdness can happen.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Oh oh oh this movie really tests the bonds anyway
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: i gotta tell you i was like this close to
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: going to sleep when i put that movie on when
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: it started playing i was like okay i'm making coffee
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: like i can't i'm watching i i cannot let this
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: movie go.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: So if you want to hear that kind of really
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: intelligent comments on movies and music and random other things.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: That came about or future interviews with random people such
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: as myself you should.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Definitely uh go to our patreon page again if you
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: don't know how to spell patreon that's fine.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Go to moviemouthdown.com.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're there all the time.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Which you should be looking for new content. All our awesome.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: How often did you say it was updated?
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I'd say once a week.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Once a week.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: You get a brand new episode.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: That's really exciting.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: We used to do other stuff, but nobody paid any attention.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: So if you want to write stuff for the website,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: you can do that too. But nobody wants to do that.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: So that's why I focused on the audio. And we
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: do that. Every week.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: It's where you belong.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that. As time's gone on, I've realized
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: this is my calling. It took me a long time
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: to find it, but this is why I'm still, this
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: many years in, still doing it.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Well, the truth is it actually didn't take you any
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: time to find it. You've been doing it for years.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: It does explain why I had that little mini cassette
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: recorder that I used to carry around.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: As a kid.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: We were just talking about crappy jobs before we started.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: We were talking about crappy jobs. And the thing is,
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: and I think this is true for a lot of adults,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: it's not true for me yet, but that's because I'm a.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Failed adult, is for a lot of our, well. a
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: little bit. The 30s is the age of coming to
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: terms with things, I think.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Yikes.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: But yeah, look forward to that, kids. But I think
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: that many of us find ourselves... We're like, oh man,
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: what am I supposed to be doing?
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: What am I supposed to be doing?
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: And then you kind of look around and realize, wait
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: a minute, I've been doing this for 10 years.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I barely think about it, but it is the thing
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: that I want to do all the time.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Well, with me, I also was doing it well before that.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And they're just.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: most of the time, aside from that little recorder, a
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: lot of the time when I was doing it with
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: other people, I wasn't recording it, but I spent so
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: much time working around other people who were movie geeks,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: sometimes surrounded by movies.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Shades of Tarantino there.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And we would sit there and have these same discussions
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: that we're having now, sometimes with the same people that
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: are on the show now, because I'll dig them up
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: and be like, look, we need to bring them back.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: We need to go back to where we used to be.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And just start with new movies and new conversations. So
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: you really do sometimes realize, oh, what I need to
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: be doing is what I've been doing all along. I
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: just need to find a more useful, more productive way
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: to do it. And that's what this show has become.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: So, hey, man, I'm just saying there may be better
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: podcasts out there.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: I don't believe it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: But yours is the only one I want to be on.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Mine is the only one that I give my time
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and soul to produce. And that's, yeah, that's, that's why
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I try to like reach out to people and be like,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: if you believe in any of this nonsense that I do,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: and there's a handful of people that do, I realized
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that just don't care. And
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: I've come to terms with that over the years, but
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, if there's anyone out there that hasn't signed on,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: but is like, no, I, I at least respect what
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: you're trying to do and respect that you're still at
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: it this far in and, just kick in a couple
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: of bucks. And it, it, it does give me faith.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: The fact that the handful of people that have so far,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, at least this group of people
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: is like, you know, I appreciate the effort you put in.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I like how much work you put into like booking
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: guests or, or can, Again, just getting you guys to
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: sit down with me.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: That's why sometimes it goes as far as years go.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: By and I'm like, oh, I haven't sat down with
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Sterling in a long time. It's just coordinating people to
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: sit down and talk about something is such an ordeal.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: But hey, beyond all that work that you do and
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: everything else, which you do work very hard and we
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: appreciate that. I will say it's really remarkable that you've
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: been able to put together under your own steam such
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: a fine and excellent quality podcast from week to week.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I will give you that credit. I say that, but
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: if you say that, I appreciate it.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: Believe me, I say it partly because speaking as a
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: man for whom half of my friends are imaginary and
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: the other half are on podcasts, yours is one of
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: my favorite.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Well, that's kind of awesome.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: So thank you.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, man.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: If you guys feel that way, yeah, go to moviemeltdown.com.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: The Patreon link is right there on the side. Help
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: keep this dream alive. Damn the man.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Save the meltdown. Where I stole it from. Yeah.