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Bonus IMPROV - The Gods of Dentistry Are Very Serious · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to friends like us bonus improv joe can we please get a suggestion you sure can jenna
• 0:22
  Thanks. You're always so on top of it.
• 0:25
  I am. Your word is unavoidable.
• 0:30
  I have to go to the dentist, which I feel like is unavoidable.
• 0:36
  And I last time I was at the dentist, I got a stern warning that if I didn't do a better job flossing,
• 0:46
  I would need to get a deep
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  cleaning
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  which is like
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  very invasive and they have to
• 0:54
  numb your mouth and they can only do
• 0:56
  half at a time and then you have to come back another time
• 0:59
  and they do the other half
• 1:00
  so I really don't want that to happen
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  so I've been flossing
• 1:06
  not regularly
• 1:08
  but more regularly
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  and then
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  so next week I go and they
• 1:14
  give me the verdict
• 1:15
  how long have you been kind of trying uh six months right okay that's enough for me yeah um
• 1:24
  i think going to the dentist is avoidable because i have been avoiding it for years
• 1:30
  yeah um but i've okay here's i've heard some stories recently about people like or like
• 1:38
  dentists trying to like sneak in things services that you don't need because they can just bill
• 1:45
  your insurance so it's like oh yeah you got some cavities sure whatever like but you don't but like
• 1:51
  if you get a second dentist opinion like you could get be like no you're fine you have no cavities
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  or like oh yeah you really need this implant or whatever so now i'm wary i'm skeptical
• 2:04
  of dentists did i tell you i wished a cavity away no see why would i go to a dentist if i can do that
• 2:11
  Yeah, they won't admit it.
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  But they were like, oh, you're starting to get a cavity.
• 2:15
  And I was like, no.
• 2:17
  I was deep into my manifestation woo-woo at the time.
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  I was like, I'm not getting a cavity.
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  Never had one.
• 2:22
  And then the next time I went, there was no cavity.
• 2:25
  Wow.
• 2:27
  Yeah.
• 2:27
  I love the dentist.
• 2:28
  I go four times a year.
• 2:30
  Wow.
• 2:31
  That too much So you go quarterly Yeah I go every three months Be back in november baby oh four times no every three months three times four is 12 oh it okay i know you didn mean
• 2:46
  anything by it he was suggesting that you need to take better care of your teeth they always do that
• 2:52
  and then they they do they do casual things like he told me last time i was there that
• 2:57
  looking at my teeth and like starting the preliminary exam
• 3:00
  and then he's like, when we're done
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  I'm going to do a flossing demonstration.
• 3:05
  I'm like, okay, read between
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  the lines. You don't think
• 3:08
  I'm flossing. And to be fair.
• 3:10
  I hate flossing. Well, I told them I don't have
• 3:12
  a sink in my bedroom.
• 3:15
  That would make things so much easier.
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  Like when sometimes you're already in bed, you're like reading
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  and it's like you're getting tired. It's like
• 3:19
  I'm not getting out of bed.
• 3:23
  To go floss?
• 3:25
  Yeah. Every bedroom should
• 3:26
  have a sink in it. Save it for invention of the
• 3:28
  week, my man. I know, I was thinking it.
• 3:31
  Floss tubes.
• 3:34
  You just lie there and think.
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  You just
• 3:35
  imagine more.
• 3:38
  Floss.
• 3:39
  Yeah, flossing hands.
• 3:43
  Nice.
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  They get all up in your jaw.
• 3:45
  Yeah, I like that.
• 3:47
  And now, improv.
• 3:55
  Okay.
• 3:56
  and open a little wider, please.
• 4:00
  Well, thank you.
• 4:05
  Okay.
• 4:05
  All right, so you've been...
• 4:07
  You've been flossing regularly?
• 4:09
  Uh-huh.
• 4:10
  Are you sure?
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  Yeah.
• 4:12
  All right.
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  I did, I did.
• 4:13
  You can answer me.
• 4:14
  You can answer me.
• 4:15
  Yes, I swear.
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  I do it every day,
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  three times a day.
• 4:20
  You know I can tell you're lying
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  from your teeth, right?
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  The teeth tell all.
• 4:24
  No.
• 4:25
  No! I've been trying, I swear.
• 4:29
  Doctor, do you have another tooth liar?
• 4:32
  Yes.
• 4:33
  Very well. I'll add it to his chart.
• 4:34
  Thank you.
• 4:35
  No, that's on my permanent record.
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  Make sure it's in ink.
• 4:38
  I don't know what to do. You know this is hard for me. I'm busy.
• 4:42
  Ah, see that? I can tell that's the truth. I can see it in your teeth.
• 4:46
  Can it come off the file then?
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  No.
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  I wrote it in ink.
• 4:50
  She wrote it in ink.
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  and also
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  selectively lying is still lying
• 4:55
  I wasn't meaning to
• 4:56
  I'm woozy from the gas you have me on
• 4:59
  nope
• 5:01
  joke's on you I didn't give you any gas
• 5:03
  damn it
• 5:04
  feels so good to lie
• 5:06
  um
• 5:08
  open up please no bigger Open wide Open wide Okay No
• 5:19
  I need to be able to get my hands in there.
• 5:22
  Okay.
• 5:24
  Doctor, shall I bring out the mechanical hands?
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  Please, please do.
• 5:27
  No, okay, girl.
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  There it is.
• 5:30
  Okay.
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  Now, let me ask you something.
• 5:34
  Back in 1998,
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  Did you
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  take a 20 out of your grandmother's purse?
• 5:44
  No.
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  I would never steal from Granny.
• 5:48
  Oh.
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  Teeth tell the story.
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  The teeth don't lie.
• 5:53
  Okay.
• 5:54
  Number 28 is clearly telling me.
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  What was she going to do with it?
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  Wait a minute.
• 6:00
  My teeth are telling you I'm lying?
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  I told you the teeth.
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  They tell all.
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  Pull them.
• 6:09
  No, I can't do that.
• 6:10
  Ethically, I can't pull healthy, truth-telling teeth.
• 6:15
  I'll pay cash.
• 6:17
  I'm sorry.
• 6:18
  That's not what this is about.
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  I'll pay double.
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  I took an oath.
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  To whom?
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  To the gods of dentistry.
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  Yeah, the gods of dentistry are very serious.
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  Mess with them at your peril.
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  I didn't come here to be judged.
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  I came here to be told I'm not doing a good job.
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  Hey, you're not doing a good job, by the way.
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  That's all I wanted.
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  Okay.
• 6:40
  Well, you got that.
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  Mm-hmm.
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  Now, I'm going to make this a teaching moment here.
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  This is Rebecca.
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  She's training to be.
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  Dentist in training.
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  Dentist in training.
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  I'm glad I can still call you Rebecca.
• 6:56
  Yes.
• 6:57
  I'm not a doctor yet.
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  I called you right at the perfect moment where we could be friends.
• 7:00
  I don't think so, sir.
• 7:02
  Okay.
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  That was.
• 7:03
  She knows your teeth.
• 7:03
  That's inappropriate.
• 7:04
  are liars.
• 7:05
  Okay.
• 7:06
  Or that you're a liar from your teeth.
• 7:07
  My teeth are lying?
• 7:08
  No, your teeth are the only things that are telling the truth.
• 7:12
  Everything that passes through your lips has to go by your teeth.
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  Your teeth know all.
• 7:17
  I was going to become an optometrist, but the eyes are windows to lies.
• 7:21
  Yep.
• 7:22
  And you prefer...
• 7:23
  Truth-telling teeth.
• 7:24
  Dental lens.
• 7:26
  Rebecca, why don't you go ahead and get in there and let me...
• 7:29
  You tell me what you see.
• 7:30
  All right.
• 7:31
  Open wide.
• 7:31
  wider
• 7:34
  very good
• 7:36
  now tell me
• 7:38
  when you're cozy in bed late at night
• 7:41
  and it's time to floss
• 7:43
  do you floss your teeth are already telling me the answer Rebecca Yas
• 7:56
  Did you say yas?
• 7:58
  I said, yas, I floss.
• 8:02
  Oh, but you don't, sir.
• 8:05
  That's it. If you won't take my teeth out, I'll find a way to have them out.
• 8:11
  And you'll never be able to know if I'm lying again.
• 8:13
  but everyone else will know that you are a liar because you have no teeth
• 8:18
  that's not the only reason people have no teeth i could have been in a drilling accident
• 8:22
  where you were drilling and your teeth fell out
• 8:26
  okay see you can't make up a good lie you know there's no escaping the lies okay well what do
• 8:35
  you recommend i do clearly i can't tell the truth why not why just tell the truth tell the truth and
• 8:41
  shame the devil. That's the motto that's
• 8:43
  written in Latin above the door
• 8:45
  you walked under. Yep. Oh, it's hard
• 8:47
  to see because I've been avoiding the optometrist.
• 8:50
  Because the eyes
• 8:51
  are the windows to lies.
• 8:53
  Okay. All right, look, I can do this.
• 8:56
  Read one more of my teeth,
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  and I'll promise to tell the truth. Very good.
• 8:59
  Doctor, you better do this one.
• 9:01
  You're the professional. Thank you.
• 9:03
  I'm going to read
• 9:05
  your canines.
• 9:07
  Oh, the dog teeth.
• 9:10
  Uh-huh.
• 9:11
  uh
• 9:13
  oh no
• 9:16
  oh
• 9:17
  try to be honest this time
• 9:22
  when you answer
• 9:22
  okay I can do this
• 9:24
  Dr. Flan Hanahan
• 9:25
  I can do this
• 9:28
  thank you for calling me by my first name
• 9:30
  your
• 9:35
  your car
• 9:39
  did you pay money for it or did you find it a different way your 2007
• 9:48
  subaru outback yes is that you really truly your 2007 subaru outback
• 10:00
  I hope you don't take this the wrong way
• 10:06
  Hi-ya!
• 10:09
  End scene