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Testimony Tag Team - Part of the Plan - Dylan Willis · Providence Voice

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_04: Before we introduce today's guests, we want to invite all our listeners to share their testimonies.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_04: This podcast depends on y'all sharing your stories.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: If we don't get someone to share their story, Charlie is going to turn this into a disc off podcast.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is a real warning.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so if it's if y'all want to hear about flight paths and anheusers and power pockets, Anheusers.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's what's coming if you guys don't spend in those testimonies.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: But uh anyways, after that, you know, threat to the audience, uh, we're going to introduce our guest, and that is Dylan Willis.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: Dylan, welcome on.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for coming in.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks, guys.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_03: Appreciate you having me.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna be a fun conversation.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: So now before we go any further, we're gonna pull up our giant wheel and spinner wheel for the tag your it segment.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: The very big fake wheel.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't be intimidated.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: So the question is, what's a small inconvenience that bothers you more than it should?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: A small inconvenience that bothers you more than it should.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Quite quite a few, I guess I could choose from, but I think the first one that comes to mind is if I ask somebody to do something or instruct somebody to do something or try to teach somebody to do something and they don't recall what I said.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's definitely been a big, big inconvenience for me, essentially, if I'm trying to help someone do something or learn how to do something, that I would definitely say that that's probably you don't like have to repeat yourself.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Don't like to repeat myself.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I communicate pretty clearly and try to make things as simplistic as possible.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if you aren't articulating what I'm saying and processing it and learning from it, then I feel like I'm wasting my breath, I guess.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: I can get that.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can get that for sure.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually funny because the thing that came to my mind was like having to repeat myself, but not for the same reason.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mind if someone's not understanding like the concept of what I'm saying and I have to repeat it.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it's if I say something and someone's like, huh, I didn't hear you, I hate repeating myself.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly what I mean.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, that that's funny.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first thing that popped in mind.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh yeah, I get real bent out of shape over this.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: Something I thought of, and you know, I I think it's I don't I don't know if I get too badly bent out of shape about it, but waiting at like a restaurant or something.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, it's like, wait, if I have to wait in line, the person in front of me is, you know, can't think of what they want and they're taking their sweet time and not really concerned about the rest of us.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: But really, you know, if I really think about it, it's not that much time.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: I, you know, what is it, maybe like an extra minute or something.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: You do get kind of anxious though.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're hungry, you'll like start looking and like kind of bobbing and weaving your head.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: Where's that food?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's been like five minutes.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Lack of urgency for sure.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I think that's something that that can uh if I don't catch it, it can uh I can get a little bit frustrated.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'll go with that.
• 3:31
  unknown: All right.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_04: So, Dylan, uh now that we've uh gone through our tag you're it segment, uh, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: You know, where'd you grow up and you know what are you up to these days?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I grew up primarily here, but I bounced around quite a bit as a kid.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: My dad's a pastor, and I believe I lived in four different states by the time I was 10.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: I was born here in Florida, lived in Michigan, Ohio, Virginia, and then back to Florida ultimately when I was moving into middle school.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: I've been back in Florida since, but I did spend about 12 to 13 years in Orlando, some of which was going to school, some of which was just working, and that's kind of where I got into my career.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm in real estate, so I've been in real estate for about six years, a little over six years.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a very rewarding and fun career, very challenging at times, but I do really enjoy it overall most days, I'd say.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: So I like the appeal of I find that I that career path appealing on some level, but I've never had the guts to go for like a commission-based job like that.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a pirate.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a game, you know, you're kind of just like playing a game, and depending on what your habits are and the things you do every day is what's going to determine ultimately whether or not you're gonna be successful.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that's kind of something that I had to learn early on in my career.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I had some really good mentors in place that kind of taught me that.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I listened and took what they taught me and kind of just, you know, a lot of it is what you learn through experience, and over time things kind of place themselves together.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: It gets a little bit easier, but you have to ultimately kind of just decide that this is what you're gonna do, and it takes a lot of time and commitment on the front end, I'd say for sure.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have something in your career that you're super proud of?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Something you did?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: I would say just getting into it, if I'm being honest with you.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: This was back in 2020.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: I had just met who my wife is now, maybe three months before COVID hit.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I was I was working at a restaurant, kind of working dead-end jobs, like I was, you know, we'll get into a little bit later, but was not in a very good place at that time, just in life in general.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: I had a good friend that was doing real estate, and I walked into work one day.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I worked at the Hyatt Regency on iDrive in Orlando, and they were like, hey, we're gonna be closing for six months mandatory because of this coronavirus thing.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you don't have a job anymore.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it was a terrifying kind of experience and time.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you know, if this is gonna be what I think it's gonna be, this will probably be the best opportunity for me to actually try to make something of myself, quite frankly.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so I took that opportunity and had a good friend, like I said, that kind of mentored me.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was kind of one of those things where if you can do it, I can do it.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, we grew up together and lived some of the same lifestyle, made some of the same mistakes, and so I felt like it'd be a good opportunity for me, and I was genuinely interested in it.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: So to answer your question, I would say just getting started really was probably one of the biggest things for me, definitely.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Taking that first step and yeah, very scary first step, you know, especially given the circumstances, not getting a paycheck.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't gonna get a paycheck anyways, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of had to it you couldn't rely on going back to restaurants, you couldn't rely on that industry, especially at that time.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to find something I could build, something a little bit more formidable and you know, able to have a family and raise a family.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I had just met my who is now my wife at the time, and so I kind of took that time as a time to really just kind of get my stuff together, if I'm being honest.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it worked out.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very blessed.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: God's really kind of helped me through the last six years.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I'm really happy where I am now.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: Still a lot that I want to accomplish, but very cool, very cool.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: Cool to hear that that story of you know, taking a step and and and a step in faith and you know, betting on yourself in a way, you know, and and taking it.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that time of COVID was scary and yeah, nobody knew what was going on.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: And and you know, making that step, that's that's pretty that's an encouraging, cur encouraging story.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so one more small question before we get started.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: But uh Dylan, how addicted to coffee are you?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, very much so.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very much so.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say at least probably three or four cups a day.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, okay.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: But I also, if I'm going to the gym, I'm also, you know, another like 250 milligrams of caffeine for that too.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: So you're pre-workout.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: So definitely very, very addicted to coffee for sure.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: All right, yeah, you're in good company.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: We're we're we're the same.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Pre-workout's not for me.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: It made me itchy.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it will.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_04: I can see that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And hot, very hot.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: So uh all right, so Dylan, we uh, you know, we kind of wanted to bring in and talk to you a little bit about about some some things that you've uh you've kind of let us know about before the show started.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: But so, you know, with as much as as given as much detail as you're comfortable with, you know, just a little bit tell us a little bit about the backstory around how your mother passed.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, for sure.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I was 21.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: I had was living in Orlando at the time.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I had moved to Orlando in 2013.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was there for maybe a week into classes and whatnot, and my parents came up, and that's when they kind of told me that my mom was sick.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I was under the impression that things were gonna be okay.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was young, you know, it was kind of like, okay, it'll work itself out kind of thing.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: And uh over time, me being gone, I wasn't really there to see like how it escalated over time, I guess you could say.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I do remember I was in a really tough place.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was in a really bad relationship.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was not focused on school, I was not focused on the things that I should have been focused on.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Partying a lot, drinking a lot, just not really around the right people, if I'm being honest.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember I totaled my car and I got evicted all within about a week.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Just based off of decisions that I had made that kind of put myself in that position.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember getting a call from my mom.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, after I got evicted, I rented a room from somebody that I found on Craigslist.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Funny enough, you know.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember getting a call from my mom and she was like, I need you to move home.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I can't move home.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, my pride wouldn't let me, essentially at the time.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, you know, I made all these mistakes, I have to figure it out.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can't go back home.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: If I go back home, I'll never leave again.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, you know what?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: It given the circumstances, if you come, this was like nine o'clock at night.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Given the circumstances, if you come pick me up tonight, I'll move home.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I can't promise that if I wake up tomorrow, I'll make that same decision.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so my dad took the phone, he said, I'm on my way.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I was kind of like, shoot, like, okay, you know, I guess was kind of hoping he'd be like, I'll come get you tomorrow, you know.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And he didn't, no of my dad.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's just kind of how he is.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Always has been that like supportive dad for me.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, okay.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I started packing my stuff and I moved home.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I really kind of realized that things were not well.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: She had had a surgery done at one point that was kind of declared her cancer free.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so we were pretty confident, like moving forward, everything was going to be fine.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then a few months later, it was back and like 10 times worse.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was also, again, still partying, drinking, doing drugs, hanging around the wrong crowd.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Anything I could really do looking back now to kind of numb myself from the realization of what was really going on in front of me, I guess.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, you know, it was just like one morning kind of thing, my dad was like, hey, we have to go, you know, your mom's in hospice, like, things aren't looking well, like, we need to go.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, kind of caught off guard in a way, just because I had used so many of these numbing mechanisms to not really think about it.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I was still like, everything will be fine.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she's gonna get better.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's no way my mom would pass away.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of pride really was kind of driving me to think that way.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And when she passed, it obviously hurt.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was my best friend.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say I had a closer relationship with my mom growing up than probably with my dad.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: She was a stay-at-home mom, so it's kind of expected, I guess you could say.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Spent a lot more time with her.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And she was kind of the person who would shoot it real with me.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you need to get your act together, or you need to do this, or you need to do that.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't have that anymore.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because I certainly didn't have the friend group that was gonna do that.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: And to my dad's defense, I don't think anyone would expect him to be able to do that given what he was going through at the time, also.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I felt kind of alone, very isolated, and I just drove deeper into my habits at the time, such as drinking and drugs and girls and different things that I shouldn't have been so infatuated with, quite frankly, at the time.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but it was very difficult, very pivotal, like turning point for me.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up a lot quicker than I probably wanted to.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I had two younger brothers at home that I didn't have a good relationship with to begin with.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: But ultimately there were things I needed to do to kind of step up and help my dad.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom told me like, if something ever happens to me, like your dad's gonna need your help.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: But it was difficult, very difficult, as anyone would expect.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Looking back, it certainly propelled me to good things.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, I miss her every day.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: What's like a favorite memory you have of your mom?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the first one that comes to mind.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, anybody that knows my mom, she's definitely a character, a lot of fun, like very funny, very straightforward.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say the first thing that comes to my mind is like her at my sports games, like yelling at referees, or like you know, she was definitely like that kind of parent.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: She was just very a lot of my memories of her are tough love.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that was big for me because as a young kid, I don't I didn't think I got that from my dad.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, obviously we need that sometimes, in my opinion, and and she really kind of steered me in the direction of ways I needed to go.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Whether I listened or not, she tried to.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: So I was I was gonna ask like when when did you realize like that you needed that tough love from your mom?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then when not until when I got older, you know, like even I'd say recently, honestly, within the last few years, where I really kind of realized like I mean, I was a bad kid.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I got I just I mean, I was, you know, I got in a lot of trouble.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: I got kicked in and out of different schools all the time.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: No way, really?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, all the time.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: I got kicked out of like a kindergarten.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they were like, he can't come back here.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, yeah.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: True stories.
• 13:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think I think we, you know, we hear a lot when we're from our parents, and you know, when we're kids and you know, teenagers, and we'd uh we'd kind of blow off the stuff they say, and then at some point it clicks and they they knew a little bit about what they were talking about.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so I, you know, if only we could see that sooner, I think, you know, we'd save ourselves a lot of definitely headaches.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I tell I think about that with with with my kids, you know, that you know, I try to teach them and and and show them stuff and be tough with them sometimes, but I don't think they appreciate it in the moment, but maybe one day.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: They will one day the blinks there get to So Dylan, what was what was your relationship with God looking like during this time with your mom, this the sickness?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: How did that God was definitely always a part of my life, I'd say.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was me that was running from him, not him running for me.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I grew up in church with my dad being a pastor, and I knew what the gospel meant, and I knew who Jesus was, and I always believed in that, did not take that and live that way, was not obedient, you could say, to what the things of what God asked us to do.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: At that point in time, it was very non-existent for me.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I did not have like a daily walk with Christ by any means.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna do whatever I could do to support myself and prove everybody wrong that had ever doubted me, versus leaning into what God had for me or you know what the Bible says about me.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it was all kind of comparison, and I want to be like that guy.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't I be like that guy?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can't.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody, you know, you can't tell me that I can't be.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And my pride would just grow and fester and grow and fester over time.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, to answer your question, I guess I would just say non-existent at that time if I'm being fully transparent.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: So you know I hear a lot of like I had similar experiences myself when I was in college and and kind of that age range where I'd you know, I'd I wouldn't I wouldn't say I ever walked away from God personally, but you know, I was definitely a time when I was I was not pursuing him and I I knew I was I knew I was doing things that I shouldn't be doing, but I would never, you know, I I wanted what I wanted, I guess, you know, like like you're saying, kind of so I can kind of relate to what you're saying.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I I didn't I wanted to ignore God so that I could do what I want.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: And and definitely scared of what he had.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: It was a fear thing.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be good yet.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was that was my, you know, I want to do what I want to do now so that I'll figure that the God stuff out later.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because if I come to you now, God, then then I might have to put this other stuff down that I really want right now.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, even though that stuff's killing me.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: I um so just another question, kind of going back to this time, you know.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: If you could talk to yourself as a kid going through that difficult time where your mom's sick, you're you know, you're you or or a time when you lost your mom.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: And obviously, you know, you're I say kid, but you know, you are a kid, you're young, you know, at that time.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: What would you say to that younger you that you think would be helpful or or comforting?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_03: So something you like advice or or or anything like maybe because you know what you were going through, what it what would have helped you at that that moment?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I would say for to try to keep it concise, I would just say basically don't give up, like this isn't the end, you know, because at that time you I definitely felt like okay, like what now?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't really I couldn't see past like the next hour.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely could not see like into the future, and I would just tell myself like don't give up.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like there is still hope, essentially, like there's a plan for your life, and your mom would want you to do the right things, and you know that, and try to shorten the mistakes that I made, even coming out of that time, by telling myself that you know, you need to figure this stuff out now, like it needs to be something that you take serious.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: You can't just go to church on Easter when you're going down to visit your parents, like you need to figure this stuff out.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: But that's probably what I would tell myself in short is just not to give up, for sure.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Would you have listened?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Probably not.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Probably not.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because people probably did tell me that they did for sure, and it's like you don't get it, you know, you don't understand what I'm going through, kind of thing.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: And whether they do or not, that doesn't mean that they're not speaking to you out of love.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, people still would tell me, you know, you need to plug in, plug into the Lord and plug into the word.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, just not there mentally, just still running from it, like kind of and honestly angry at God at the time.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like I can imagine.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was a great woman.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why would you do this?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like why my mom?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: And why me?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I made it a lot about me, and it never was about me.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was just part of the plan, and you can't deviate from that.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that's you know, I constantly just in my life have deviated from whatever that plan is.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I still do, you know, sometimes I still make the mistakes that I shouldn't.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And but ultimately, eventually, you know, I feel like we all kind of hit a wall.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of said, you know, okay, I'm gonna try to figure this God stuff out and and really center my life around it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: And do I do that every day?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not the way that I should, but I do try to.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so okay.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's you know, kind of uh something to think about, like, you know, that God speaks to you, you know, He's always speaking to you, but you you know, the right circumstances come along for you to hear it, I guess, to be able to hear it.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Because you can hear it and not, you know, what is God Jesus says, you know, for those who have ears to hear, let them listen, you know, that kind of thing.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe, you know, is that the idea that that we're not always ready to listen?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: We can hear, but we're not always ready to listen.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I I've always felt the call, you know?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was always in the back of my head, and I just ignored it.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to have fun and I wanted to party, and I wanted to be the center of attention.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if I was gonna follow Jesus, then it wasn't gonna be about me anymore.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I wasn't gonna be the center of attention.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's kind of what I was running from looking back, and sometimes what I still find myself struggling with is pride, is the pride that comes along with that and trying to be the man, right?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or be the guy.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's been my biggest struggle in life even since I was young.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think most of us can say that, you know, that I think all of us, if we if we can, you know, see ourselves truly, like we we want to be the point, you know, we want to be the main character.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's that's of our own story, yeah.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but yeah, I I think, you know, but our our lives, you know, aren't about us, you know.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's kind of hard to wrap our heads around, you know.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: I just I kind of go back to the idea, like this thought, you know, like, you know, and you correct me if anything I'd say is wrong, but like, you know, I I wonder, you know, God used this hardship, this unimaginable thing that you went through with your mom, and and you know, used those circumstances to bring you closer to him, to bring to to call you home, you know.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so I, you know, what what we see is you know tragic and and and you know unbelievably sad, you know, that God's weaving it together to to bring us all closer to him, to bring us ultimately to glory with him.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: So, I mean, that's the the happy ending that we the happiest ending we could ask for, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, definitely all always part of the plan, you know, and that's but we don't always see or understand the plan, and that's where the whole basis of faith comes in, you know, and that's where I struggled during that time was like how could this be part of the plan?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like I always knew there was a plan, and I knew I wasn't following the path to be aligned with that, but I certainly when that happened, it was kind of like I'm done with this God stuff for a while.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if I'm being honest.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was very, very angry, and I just wanted to do anything that I could.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do or get my hands on anything that I could get my hands on to not think about it.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: Can imagine that how how tough that must have been for you going.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: So kind of let's kind of maybe you know jump up more today, I guess.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_03: You know, if you're if you're okay change of topics.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: But so you're you're married, you've mentioned your wife have you testing.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Married, yeah, I've been married for a little over three years.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: So my wife Kaylee, she's been a huge blessing in my life.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: A very pivotal moment, you know, in my life was meeting her.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that's, if I'm being honest, kind of what got me back to God in a way.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: She was a very big part of that and very influential in regards to why I kind of came back to God, if I'm being honest.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: We've done that for each other, I'd say, in different ways, but she's definitely slowed me down.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas I can get very, very chaotic if I'm being honest and very busy in my mind.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know how to stop thinking, I don't know how to stop planning ahead, and I don't know how to stop striving or, you know, wanting to be better at something.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she kind of brings me back to earth in a lot of ways that she probably doesn't even realize, you know, just by naturally who she is.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, we've been married a little over three years, no kids.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's been hard.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: We've had a lot of challenges in our marriage, but you know, I I certainly wouldn't change it for the world.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: So getting them brownie points.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:24
  unknown: Yeah.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: How did how did y'all meet?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: We met.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: I was working in a restaurant at the time.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was working at a bowling alley, actually.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: And she was there for her like work Christmas party.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: I had kind of seen her from afar, certainly liked what I saw.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I my phone actually had died.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I took like a little piece of paper, I wrote my number down, and then when she was leaving, I was kind of just keeping an eye out for like when she was leaving.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: And when she was leaving, I had the excuse of asking her, like, you know, how was your time tonight?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I worked there, so I used that to my advantage, I guess.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: And versus just being a random guy at the bowling alley, like, you know, how whatever.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I was just like, you know, how was your time tonight?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I had noticed you from across the way, and I, you know, wanted to give you my number.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: My phone's dead, like, you know, here it is.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever want to reach out to me, like I'd love to get together.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: And she did about a week later.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the rest is history, really.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we started this was in December of 2019, and we dated for a couple of months, and then that's when COVID hit.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so we ended up spending a lot of time together because there was nothing to do.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: You couldn't just go anywhere you wanted to.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: So we spent just a lot of time together, kind of hanging out, and ultimately became best of friends, I guess you could say.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, here we are, six years.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: That was about six years ago.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, starting a starting relationship during COVID.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's uh interesting time to do that.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's yeah, it was, yeah.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely had its challenges, but it had its advantages too.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you try to look on the bright side of things, and we did get to spend a lot of time together.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it prepared us well for marriage only because we weren't just out on dates having fun.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times you were just on the couch talking or having a conversation and you know, really like getting to know each other on a deep level, and I think that was beneficial for us for sure.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_03: So uh, you know, uh how has your relationship, you know, you I think you kind of mentioned like some you know changes over time.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: How how how has it uh changed in the time you guys have been married?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I mean when we first met, neither one of us are really involved in church or had a very close relationship with God at the time.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we were still very heavily kind of in party mode together.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of drinking and a lot of just not really, I guess, the activities that are gonna pull you closer to God.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: And we basically, I guess over time, I think it was maybe a couple of years of that.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we had a really rocky start to our relationship, and we made the mistake of moving in together very early on and not really like honoring what what the Bible says about marriage and and that kind of covenant.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: And we fought a lot, a lot of verbal abuse between both of us, if I'm being honest.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And looking back, it's a miracle that we even made it through like that first year or two was really, really good, but also really, really tough.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: But there was something, I'll just speak for myself, like I just wasn't willing to leave.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like there was something that kept me there.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like I always felt like, okay, this is the girl that you're supposed to be with.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like God was telling me that, even if I wasn't super active in relationship with him.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: I certainly knew there was like something different about it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: I had never felt like this about anybody before.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had been in real estate for about a year or two, and I kind of, you know, made the suggestion like, hey, we should, you know, maybe what would you think if we like found a church to go to?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we did.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it was an amazing church and an amazing blessing for us.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: We made incredible relationships, and and that's really what kind of brought us back to more into the word and learning about God and trying to live that lifestyle a little bit more.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: But ultimately, it was just a very over time kind of thing.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: We got a little bit closer to God and then we'd pull away.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Then we get a little bit closer and we'd pull away.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Or we'd lay something down and then we go back and pick it, but pick it up.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd say probably in 2024, I want to say, is where we both kind of decided like if we're gonna do this thing, like let's do it the right way.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let's try to like make God the center of our relationship and sort through some of these issues that we have.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: And we started to realize a lot of those issues were deep rooted and long before we met.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it didn't really have anything to do with me and her.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was very much so the enemy just trying to use my childhood, her childhood, some of the things that we went through against each other.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: And once I feel I feel like once we realized that, we knew like we're supposed to be here.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because if not, I don't think that that would be the case.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why is why is the enemy trying to pull us apart so hard all the time?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_03: That's a good way of looking at it, yeah.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_03: So it's kind of that spiritual battle, you know.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: If you're doing doing something God wants, you know, then he's gonna try and trip you up and mess you up.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just a I had I had met a great group of guys that I was around at church and had a couple of guys that I worked with at the time that I'm still very close to and have good relationships with.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just kind of time to grow up in a way, you know.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: I met Kaylee when I was 25, and by that time I was, you know, turning 30.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just like, okay, dude, like you can't just drink and smoke forever.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, you you you have to like figure, figure out a way to live life without having some sort of dependency at all times.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, hopefully that answers your question.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of got off track a little bit.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's okay.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, okay, that's good.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: You said that you and Kaylee were working on making God more the center of y'all's relationship.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: What did that look like?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said you guys started going to church.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: What there were there other things?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: I would say honestly, at first, no.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was just going to church and trying to figure out who we were in our walk with God individually, but supporting each other along the way, if that makes sense.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean is by that is basically I had to learn that there were a lot of things that I had to sort through and put down in order to be the man that God wants me to be for her.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I still struggle with that every single day.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think for her, she had to understand and come to a place where she was willing to trust that plan and trust what God had for us and trust me to ultimately lead us to and through whatever that plan is.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like once we got there, it opened my mind and kind of made me realize that, like, yeah, you can do this.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is what you're supposed to do.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you can be that guy that that you really wanted to be and always wanted to be, but it's just not going to be the guy that you dreamed of when you were 16.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's a different version, but it you can have the same impact.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes that impact is just at home.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it can be in the workplace, sometimes it can be at the grocery store.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: But for us, it was very that it took me a long time to really take that heat of leadership.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times that is still my biggest struggle in terms of leading us in prayer and reading the word.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I have a hard time separating my individual time that I spend doing that and putting it together.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I'm constantly at war with that.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like it's for whatever reason, it's just very difficult for me to get to that place.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just an attack on me, and I know that, but I probably do fail at that more than I succeed.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: So that's speaking of kind of where I am today, even that's my biggest issue is trying to lead her the way that the Bible says I should, versus the way that I want to.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: I can relate to you on that.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: I feel that I feel that too, that responsibility.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I've I feel like I do you.
• 31:42
  unknown: Well, yeah.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_03: But I I feel like, you know, sometimes I I get, you know.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I get it right.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes in some areas it's gotten better.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_03: But then, you know, there's something that or I'll maybe something different will come along, the routine gets messed up, or I don't know.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: There's there's a lot of things I want to work on better too.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_03: So I I I feel what you I feel what you're saying there.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just always there's a you know, pastor I listened to, Joe B.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: Martin, and he his biggest a lot of what he says is just like three of the words that or worst words that a man can say is like, I got this, and that's my problem.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is I always think that like I got it, like I can figure it out.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't we don't really need God about this situation.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like our finances, no, like we'll figure that out on our own.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I got it.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Or being in prayer together.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, I I got it.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, we'll do it when I'm ready to do it, or we'll do a Bible study together when I'm ready to do it.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it always just comes back to selfishness and being self-centered and not wanting to be uncomfortable.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I have a pretty stressful job, and when I come home, I I don't want to be in a position where then I have to do more uncomfortable things.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: I've been solving people's problems all day.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so that's where I've struggled in our marriage is shutting down, not really being like emotionally available.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, some of the things that we've gone through and some of the things that like I put her through, or like it's a miracle that she's even still here.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I see her as such a blessing.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I feel like pretty much anybody else would have given up on me.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: I would have given up on me.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, just you have to give credit where it's due.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like she's been amazing, and part of the reason why I'm sitting here today with you guys.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: So that's good to hear.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I uh something that stuck out to me.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_03: You said it a while ago, but you kind of you talked about how you know things were not always good, but you kind of had, and and you didn't phrase it this way, but it sounded like you had like a conviction to stay, to stay together, to, to not not bail.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's that's cool that even though at that time that you weren't necessarily walking with God the way you should, that he was still convicting you that way, and so you could hold on to that marriage.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: He definitely was.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: And looking back, it makes sense why.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: But during that time, it's a miracle that neither one of us gave up.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there were we gave each other both we both gave each other reasons to to walk away.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: And even when we got really close, I just couldn't see a future without her.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how I knew because I had never felt like that before.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: I had never felt like, okay, you know, I might be okay for a week, but like six months from now, when I'm sitting on the couch at nine o'clock at night and I look over and she's not there, like that wasn't gonna work for me.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: That wasn't gonna be an option.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: And she made that same decision because I've given her more than enough reasons to walk away.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I'm so grateful for, and I'm grateful for where we are, and we still have so much work to do in our relationship, and also and hopefully to help other people.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: But hopefully that kind of gives you a little little insight.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think, you know, I think uh you hit it right.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, it's it's well, you know, still got so so much work to do, is what you just said.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's true for all marriages.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think anything's you know, you'll have good seasons and bad seasons, and some days it'll feel like you're everybody's doing great, and then something comes up and it, you know, throws you for a loop, and you gotta figure it out again.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_03: And and it's just a constant, you know, you you're growing, your wife's growing, and and then you guys gotta grow together.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: And some sometimes she grows and you don't, and then you gotta catch up, and then you know, so then it's the other way around.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like sometimes you're growing in a way that you know, and she's gotta kind of get there with you, and so you guys gotta kinda do it together.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, sometimes it's a choice every day.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's been my hardest or the hardest thing about it for me.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I don't want to choose marriage today.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm being honest, I I want to just go to work and do my thing and come home, and but you can't do that, it's not how it works.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's God's used that to really like create friction for me in a good way to kind of strengthen me.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, iron sharpens iron, right?
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what the Bible says.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And just having like good guys around me that keep me accountable to it and call me out when I'm not doing well, and me being in a place to be honest with them when I'm not doing well has been a big reason and part of you know why we're still together and why we still try every day to choose each other.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: And and whether or not what I mean by choosing each other isn't a simple, like, okay, yeah, you're still gonna be my wife, but like, am I gonna choose to really like serve you today?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna choose to really give you like my full attention when I come home at night?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna choose to communicate with you about my day, or I'm gonna say everything's fine?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of times I just say everything's fine.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and mean, and I might truly mean it, but there's always something we could discuss.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: There's always something we could talk about if I'm emotionally available, but most of the time in the past and even sometimes still today, I'm not.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: But she continues to make that choice also to stay, to trust, to know that like we're gonna figure this out, even if you aren't very open or available or want to talk, like I'm still here for you.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: I still love you, and I think that that's what has been beautiful about our relationship.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I mean, I just it's very it's certainly a God thing, how we came together and and the fact that we're still here for sure.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: No doubt.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love what you said about you know, love is a choice, and I I fully agree with that.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: And it's choosing to do the actions that that you know a husband does for the wife or the wife does for the husband, but it's also it's it's just truly a choice.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, I'm choosing it is that simple choice sometimes.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like I'm I'm choosing to be married, I'm choosing to to love you.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I think you know, Hollywood, you know, movies and stuff, they make it look like follow your heart, you know, and do what makes you happy.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, but sometimes choosing choosing your marriage isn't isn't always and the Bible says your heart can be deceitful.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, deceitful above all things.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, it's uh and uh but but you know it's just you know, I think Hollywood's just like I said, is just kind of spilling that lie that you know if it doesn't feel good, get out of it.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: But we we we have we have to choose that daily.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I like I like that you you brought that up.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_03: So something else you've talked about you mentioned to us before before the interview is something I think a lot of men struggle with.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: I know I have, but you know, sexual integrity and and and pornography specifically, you know, and how how has that been uh a part of your Yeah?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it start start off when I was really young.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was six years old, maybe.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I had gone over to a friend of mine's house and his stepdad like forcefully kind of made us watch it.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_05: Man.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I didn't really realize it at the time.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was six years old.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then by the time I was 10 or 11, I mean, I was probably like full-fledged and in an addiction to it, but didn't really know it was an addiction because I was literally a child.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the internet became more accessible as I got older.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Smartphones came out when I was in early high school.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: So it was kind of one of those things that found started to find you, whereas early on I had to sort of seek it out.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I was so in engulfed in other addictions too.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, like marijuana and pills and alcohol, that that was kind of like on the back burner for me.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I was always just gonna have to figure out how to stop drinking and smoking.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like the porn stuff is just normal.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is just what people do.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: So that like I didn't even really think of it as an addiction until later in life.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was very, you know, girl to girl outside of high school, like in college and and through my early 20s.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just very basically anything sexual that I could partake in, I was all about it.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I met Kaylee, and when I met her, I realized I had a problem, like I have a real problem on my hands.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm starting to feel bad about this stuff now, you know, because I I have a partner and I'm dishonoring my partner by doing this, and I know it's wrong.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I always knew it was wrong because I grew up in church, and but nobody ever talked about it.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was kind of like the the secret that you kept that nobody knew.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, when I get married one day, I'll just want to stop and and I'll be fine.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that was not the case.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: It honestly got worse when we were dating and and even in our marriage, especially for like the first year or two.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I had gotten to a place where when I would do it, I would be in such a panic and such an anxiety kind of attack mode afterwards that I couldn't even function.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like I remember one Sunday morning, actually, like we were getting ready to go to church, and I was just like off the walls, like mentally.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could not put a thought together.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: Felt like I was like hyperventilating, like couldn't breathe.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what's going on?
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think I need to go to the hospital.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I she called my dad, and my dad kind of talked to me, and I calmed down a little bit after a while.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: But that's when I realized, like, dude, you got like a serious issue on your hands here, like you need to get help.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I started to talk a little about it a little bit more in like my men's small group at church, and this was in Orlando, and I, you know, started to see a counselor and just kind of talk about it a little bit.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when some of these things came out about how young I was exposed and how deep-rooted that is to be exposed to something like that, especially given the circumstances that it happened, and how hard it is to like that's very deep.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was a long time ago by this time.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it's always been my my biggest battle.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: Pornography is one of those things where you can be addicted to it and be so in engulfed in it, but also still get everything done essentially that you need to, and kind of put on this mask and this face, like everything's fine.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I quit smoking, you know, or I quit drinking at least.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's definitely easy to hide hide the porn addiction for sure.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can relate to that.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: And the shame that it would just continue to build and pile on and pile on.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: I eventually just hit a wall.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I can't do this anymore.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know how I'm gonna stop, but I I gotta tell somebody and talk to somebody about this.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna lose it.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: Or it's just gonna completely ruin my marriage, completely.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because we were not doing well at the time when I kind of made the decision that okay, you need to figure this porn thing out, and you're not gonna be able to do it yourself.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like I always thought, like, oh, I'll just I'm gonna stop on this day, or I'll stop tomorrow.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I won't watch it tomorrow.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then I would.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's the guilt and it's the lies like, see, you said you were gonna stop, you can't stop, you're not gonna stop.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like the things that you would I would hear from from the enemy is like, nah, this is kind of just like a part of who you are, yeah.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like it's all right though, like everybody struggles with it, so don't worry about it.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's a rampant problem, like, for a lot of men, but I also am a firm believer as I kind of grow out of that part of my life that.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can't make that an excuse.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can't just do it because you're a guy.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like that can't be the excuse.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're doing it, and I was doing it because I was number one, running from something.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Or number two, I just didn't have like the biblical foundation or the right group of guys around me to support me through not doing it.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, it was always like, well, it's not your fault.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like what do you expect?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_01: If you, if you see this or you know, this pops up, like, of course you're gonna look at it.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to realize, like, actually, like, I can choose not to.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a really hard choice to make, or I can at least allow it to be more fleeting.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't have to ponder on it.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's been the biggest like improvement for me in that area, I'd say, is just I try not to let it consume me because it was just all consuming at one point.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it did start to mess with my everyday life.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: It did start to mess with my performance at work and who I was at home.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: And my motivation and my drive, and you know, a lot of the goals that I set for myself weren't important anymore.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a little bit of kind of how it became an issue.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_01: As I continue to try to grow and get through that, it's still a very big challenge for me.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not so much the watching of porn, but the lies that I'll still hear.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, you could go back that way.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, you you could do better.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to realize, like, no, actually, like what I have is I'm totally cool with this.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just want to try to make the best of this.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I think things really turned around in my marriage, probably really honestly, only like eight or nine months ago, if I'm being totally honest, where I we both kind of decided, like, we're here, like, we chose each other, let's just actually try to make the best of it and treat each other with kindness and be respectful and show each other love.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I guess I say all that to say you're not gonna defeat or get through that without like a full surrender, like you just can't.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's impossible, for in my opinion.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because you don't have to go looking for it anymore, like it's looking for you.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: And you have to be really careful about the things that you watch just in general.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I could be better about that.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: And the things you listen to, I had to get better about that.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I grew up on listening, like, you know, hardcore rap music, like that is if we're being honest, completely demeaning to women.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to realize, like, dude, you're 30 now.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, yeah, like those days are gone.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: And and I do I still listen to it from time to time?
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, I do.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't let it be like the ever consuming that's all that I listen to.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I mean, kind of going on a tangent, but a little bit just about how I, you know, it's always been an issue for me from a very, very young age.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_03: I have a similar story in how I was first exposed to it.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like my brothers, my brothers and I found a magazine in the woods, and we kind of hid it away and then kept going out to look at it.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_03: That was one of the first times.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then another time, my my best friend who I call my brother, he his stepdad or yeah, his mom's boyfriend or something, but he had a tape, and we I I was like, I'd never seen anything like that, you know, and it's just like, and but I think that was a very it was you know formative, you know, and it really I think it embeds itself when you see it that young, it kind of really kind of embeds itself into you, and it's hard to get out of it.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, so I I I can relate to to a lot of what you're saying.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_03: And especially with, you know, the the internet, you know, and the more mobile it becomes, the easier it becomes to hide.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_03: And and you know, it's and it's an addiction, you know, like with if you're addicted to heroin or something, you know, there's gonna be outward signs that you, you know, you have this, you you might end up on the street or you know, you're losing weight or whatever it might be.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_03: And but you know, with porn, you can just do that, just nobody knows, you know, and you kind of slide it on the radar and you got this horrible secret and this horrible guilt that's you know, and it just progressively gets worse.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that's that's my experience, you know.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_03: So sure.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_03: Starts in one way and it builds and builds and builds, and and it feels like you can't get out.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: But, you know, I know from my experience, I know God, God can take that from you.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_03: So anybody, any, any anybody who's listened to this and and has a similar experience, you know, just there is hope, you know.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, you got to talk about it.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't talk about it at all for a long time because of the guilt.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: And also because I just thought it was okay.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like there was a part of me that knew it wasn't okay, but I was like, actually, it might be okay.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because like, why does everybody do it if it's not okay?
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's the world says.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: The world says, oh, everybody's doing it.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_03: This is this is normal, but normal doesn't mean good.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_03: Normal doesn't mean okay.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, for sure.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's not good.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: And like if anyone's listening, like, and it's it's a something that you struggle with, like you just need to talk to somebody about it.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because I promise there's somebody close to you that struggled with the same thing.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: And talk about it, like be honest.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that was the hardest part for me was the vulnerability behind being honest about it and how bad it really was.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh yeah, you know, I watch porn every now and then.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, it was like a rampant problem in my life on a daily basis, like controlled and consumed me.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to get honest about that part of it.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you can be honest, but I think you need to be honest in a way that reflects what you're actually feeling and like what you're actually going through.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_01: Not just, yeah, I struggle with porn.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, for me, it was like, no, like I'm addicted to this stuff and I can't stop.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's ruining my life.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: And once I realized that and started to talk a little bit about it and open up a little bit about it, is when it got a little bit better.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, it ultimately just came down to, you know, I remember God kind of telling me, like, one of these days, you're just gonna have to make the decision that like that's not who you are.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I've already declared that that's not who you are.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've put a plan over your life and you know that that's not it.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: But like you have to make the ultimate decision that you're not gonna do this anymore.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: And if for whatever reason you do, you need to not condemn yourself.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: And go full-fledged back into it.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what I would do.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, stop for a month, do it again, and be I'm six months later, here we are, you know.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like why bother?
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I'm just I'm not gonna figure this out.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna, I'm gonna fail again, and I'm there's no point in even trying, and so then you kind of throw it all out and then exactly.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: You kind of mentioned telling someone is important, but I also heard you saying some stuff about like a lot of the mental battle that goes on with I mean the porn addiction or really any addiction, I guess I'd lead in to say to that.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: But were there like certain people you found yourself drawn to that helped you with the mental mental battle or maybe other things?
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think so.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think once I finally really opened up to it about it to my wife, that was a big part for me because she received it a lot better than I think I would have expected her to.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like she definitely received it with a lot more love and like grace than I would have ever thought.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: But the big part about it for me was like the guys that were in my small group at the time at the church that I was attending.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of them were like, you know, a little bit older than me and married kids.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was very blessed to have that group of men around me because in a way, I guess you could say like they kind of took me under their wing, like just looked out for me in terms of prayer and like really checking on me.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_01: Not like, oh yeah, we're praying for you.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, it was very specific.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and they'd let you know, you know, and and I remember just pretty much every Tuesday morning, like meeting with them, and there was something about the group that you just felt you could be vulnerable and you felt you could be honest.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: And they those group of guys is what really kind of helped me with the mental battle and made me realize that again, this doesn't have to be who you are.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, these are just decisions that you've made, but that's not who you are, though.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_01: And they were probably the biggest help, I'd say, and kind of just made me realize, like, dude, you have so much more to live for.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you don't really see it because you are still a little bit younger, but like, don't make the same mistakes that we did.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: And like you, you, you, you again, you just have to make the decision, like you have to give it up, like it has to be you.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody can give it up for you.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that was a hard realization for me to come to.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean I'm not gonna look at like another girl like in that way ever again?
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that was completely a foreign concept to me.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I really honestly started plugging into the word more, and I started to read about what it means to be a godly husband and and what a godly marriage looks like.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I mean, if all these guys in my group can do it, or at least are like striving to really do it, then why couldn't I do it?
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they they get to answer your question, they really just like instilled the belief that, like, no, dude, that's not who you are.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, those are just decisions that you're making, but you don't have to make that choice.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like you can stop.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh, I can stop.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't know that, which sounds crazy, but I truthfully didn't, I just thought it was always gonna be a part of my life, and I was gonna have to figure out how to live that way.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of became this like wall of truth, and like anytime you you brought something to the table, they're like, No, and like they're kind of pushing you back with it.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: Very like direct, and and that's kind of I'm a very direct guy, like very straightforward to the point.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't necessarily want you to sit here in a small group and read me Bible verses.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want you to tell me, like, dude, you're screwing up and like you need to fix it.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_01: But we'll help you, like, we'll help you fix it.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: We'll we'll be here to support you.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: We can't do it for you again, but like we will be here to support you.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: We will really pray for you and whatever you need, like, just let us know.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that vulnerability, then it's like other guys start sharing, and you realize that there's eight other guys in the room that are dealing with the same thing.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: And now it's like, okay, this is starting to make more sense to me.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it is a problem for a lot of people, but it's because we're all making the choice to allow it to really be like an idol.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was like again, just had complete control of me.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: And those guys certainly helped me determine that it wasn't always gonna be that way.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's great, man.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you sharing all that.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, yeah.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_03: All right, so uh, you know, now it's time for our tag out segment.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_03: So this is where we're each gonna give like a one-sentence takeaway.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's usually more than one sentence, but uh but and then you can kind of give our audience some final encouragements or thoughts or anything you want to sign us off with.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_03: And uh so I wrote a I wrote a bunch of stuff down and I'm I'm trying to decide what I want to go with.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_03: Kind of a couple things you just kind of just came up with, but I liked how you said, you know, you know, with pornography, it it and I and I can relate to this so well, it just it you you get so beaten down by it and you beat yourself up over it, and it becomes like this this who who I am is is is a person who does this.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I I just who I am.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_03: There's no there's no hope of getting out of it.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I felt that.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_03: And but I like I liked what you said about you know, it's not who you are, it's there's these are decisions that you make.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_03: And he also mentioned something that he kind of touched on this idea that that you don't have to condemn yourself for it, right?
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_03: Because Jesus already took that punishment for us.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so there so that's that's another side of it too, is you know, this guy God is so good that He would take the punishment for us and then still give us a way to be to to take us out of this, to get us away from that sin.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_03: And so I don't know, it's just you know, I think we we a lot of times we flip it around and we think, oh, I gotta get out of the sin so then I can be w with God and be with Jesus and have that relationship, but it's the other way around.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_03: You know, Jesus gives us gives us that and then he calls us closer to him and we we can then leave these things that we're held captive to and and and God's just strengthening us through that, and that's just a beautiful thing.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so definitely.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think the theme that I was picking up on just in a it really in all the things that you talked about, like mental battle came up a lot.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like you were like the I was having these thoughts in my head around this or that.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess the other theme that I found running alongside it was just really plugging into people, plugging into God, plugging into resources that are Christian, biblical based, and just really getting those people around you that you can be honest with to reflect that mental battle on because it can help you correct what's going on in your head.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_00: Here's here's a mirror that you should actually be looking at.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I think that's important.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_00: That seemed to have been something that was important to you in your journey.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_05: Definitely.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I appreciated that.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_05: Definitely.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_05: All right.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_05: So, Dylan, if you just want if there's anything else you want to mention to our audience, or if there's any encouragement.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I'll just say, you know, we obviously talked about a lot of different things, but if you're if you're struggling with something, like you can't be afraid to ask for help.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_01: And you you can't let the world tell you.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I'll speak specifically to men, but you can't tell let the world tell you what kind of man you should be.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like you have to find that from God.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, the people around you that are gonna point you in the right direction.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: And like don't give up, you know, if you're going through something that you feel like you're never gonna defeat or you feel like you're never gonna get by.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you have the right people around you and if you truly believe that God has a plan for your life, then you certainly can get through it.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would just say, don't give up.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, many, many times I've wanted to give up on a lot of different things and promise you you can make it through.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, really appreciate you guys having me on today.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a lot of fun and you know, just great.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this has been great.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_00: We super appreciate you coming on.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and uh to our audience, if today's episode has encouraged you, share it with someone who might need it.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_03: And if you are interested in sharing your testimony, email us at testimony tag team at gmail.com.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_03: This has been Testimony Tag Team, and we're tagging out.