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Katelyn May - Mental Health and Disabilities Specialists · Look Who's Talking

• 0:00
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 0:20
  I am Cameron Minter.
• 0:22
  I am your co-host and your host.
• 0:24
  Jessica Coffie is in the building.
• 0:27
  What's going on, Jessica?
• 0:28
  Hey, Cam.
• 0:29
  What is going on?
• 0:30
  Hey, y'all.
• 0:31
  Not lunch.
• 0:32
  Literally.
• 0:33
  Have you had your lunch?
• 0:34
  I had half my lunch.
• 0:35
  Let me tell you about Jessica.
• 0:36
  Between taping, I ate a couple of bites of my sandwich.
• 0:43
  Jessica will faithfully bring her lunch and eat it for breakfast.
• 0:48
  Okay.
• 0:49
  Because if I'm hungry at 9 o'clock, that's the time I'm gonna eat my lunch.
• 0:53
  It's over.
• 0:54
  It's over.
• 0:55
  It's over.
• 0:56
  You know what?
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  And I would eat anything at any time.
• 0:58
  Wow.
• 0:59
  You might see me eating some fried chicken and broccoli.
• 1:02
  Wow.
• 1:03
  At 8.30.
• 1:04
  So, now...
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  Because as long as you get some kind of nutrients.
• 1:09
  Yeah.
• 1:10
  Now, Jessica, she goes up and down about her health and healthy eating.
• 1:15
  I mean, when she's on it, she is on it.
• 1:17
  But when she's not, you might catch her with some McDonald's and stuff.
• 1:22
  And it just amazes me.
• 1:23
  I'm glad she didn't come to 17 yesterday.
• 1:27
  Because I bought McDonald's for everybody.
• 1:28
  Wow.
• 1:29
  Wow.
• 1:30
  Just an abler.
• 1:31
  Just a complete enabler.
• 1:32
  Hey, if I'm gonna go down...
• 1:33
  I want people to go down with me.
• 1:34
  I love it.
• 1:35
  I love it.
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  If I'm gonna gain these two pounds from these meals, somebody else gonna have to do that
• 1:44
  too.
• 1:45
  I mean, it makes sense.
• 1:46
  It makes sense.
• 1:47
  Exactly.
• 1:48
  It makes sense.
• 1:49
  It's total sense.
• 1:50
  They didn't have to pay for it.
• 1:51
  Yeah.
• 1:52
  Jessica, yeah.
• 1:53
  Over the years, she used to meal prep.
• 1:54
  I did.
• 1:55
  She'd be real serious in the gym.
• 1:57
  Then I changed positions.
• 2:00
  And I don't know whether I'm going to come in.
• 2:03
  Meal prep, that's out the door.
• 2:05
  But you know what?
• 2:07
  So it's so hard as a single person to cook a meal for a single person.
• 2:12
  You're right about it.
• 2:13
  You know?
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  So I was eating out all my meals.
• 2:20
  Because I'm like, hey...
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  Right.
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  You saving that food bill.
• 2:25
  Yeah.
• 2:26
  However, this is what happened.
• 2:28
  Last week, I looked at my bank account and I said, my God.
• 2:33
  It gets you real quick.
• 2:35
  I spend my money on food.
• 2:37
  That's it.
• 2:38
  Do you have one of those trackers that tells you like, oh, I got a tracker for some reason.
• 2:43
  I don't even know why.
• 2:44
  Well, in your bank account?
• 2:45
  Yeah.
• 2:46
  It tells me you spent 80% of your income on food.
• 2:49
  Shut up.
• 2:50
  You know what?
• 2:52
  I would like to know that, but I'm pretty sure I spend 99% of my income on food.
• 2:59
  And it's not just like quick pickup.
• 3:01
  It is, oh, let me sit down.
• 3:04
  Oh, wow.
• 3:05
  Let me...
• 3:06
  But see...
• 3:07
  Okay.
• 3:08
  I like food.
• 3:09
  So you're the type, you can go to a restaurant all by yourself.
• 3:11
  Oh, yeah.
• 3:12
  Okay.
• 3:13
  Absolutely.
• 3:14
  I will...
• 3:15
  I feel a little weird when I go out of town.
• 3:17
  That means you were not single long enough.
• 3:19
  Well, I ain't been single for almost 29 years.
• 3:23
  When you weren't single, you were not single long enough.
• 3:26
  If you hadn't mastered going out, I'll tell you about yourself.
• 3:28
  Wow.
• 3:29
  I guess so.
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  Listen, because I've mastered that.
• 3:32
  If I want some Jeff Rubies, I will go by myself.
• 3:36
  Wow.
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  Table for one, please.
• 3:38
  Wow.
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  That's crazy.
• 3:40
  Thank you.
• 3:41
  Yeah.
• 3:42
  I feel some kind of way when I'm out of town.
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  I think a lot of people do.
• 3:44
  Oh.
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  Like when I go on a business trip and I'm out of town, it's time for dinner.
• 3:48
  Yeah.
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  I'm like, we go to the room.
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  Listen, I go to dinner by myself.
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  I go to the movies by myself.
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  Literally everywhere, I have literally mastered, oh, if my friends ain't got no money, it don't
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  matter because I'm going to do it anyway.
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  I'll see y'all later.
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  Bye.
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  And you know what?
• 4:05
  They know that about me too.
• 4:07
  They know she going to go do whatever.
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  Half the time, I don't even ask.
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  I just be like, hey, y'all, where you been?
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  I've been cooking even when I had a roommate in college and then I went to a single apartment
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  and there's no desire to cook.
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  I mean to really cook for yourself.
• 4:29
  No.
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  But until you look at your bank account.
• 4:33
  Right.
• 4:34
  So let's get back to that.
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  I looked at my bank account and I said, hmm, you're foolish.
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  And what you going to do now?
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  Oh, so I've been cooking.
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  Oh.
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  I brought my lunch today because I put something in place.
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  So I said, oh, restaurant week starts July 18th.
• 4:57
  So I'm going to cook and eat what I have in my kitchen until restaurant week.
• 5:04
  Okay.
• 5:05
  What's restaurant week?
• 5:06
  What?
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  Oh.
• 5:08
  You don't know what restaurant week is.
• 5:09
  You know last week, I heard the soul food week.
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  Restaurant week is when?
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  They trick you to come out and spend some money.
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  Like these expensive sit down restaurants have like the three course meals for $35.
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  That's a deal.
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  Oh, it is.
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  It is.
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  And it's like.
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  See, all things food.
• 5:25
  I need to keep up with you.
• 5:26
  Oh yeah.
• 5:27
  So this always happens around my birthday.
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  You know around my birthday I won't afford to six pack.
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  It's like you almost get it cracked.
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  I know.
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  Around my birthday every year I'm like, I'm going to get my body right.
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  I'm going to have a four or six pack.
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  And then it's restaurant week.
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  And then burger week comes, restaurant week comes.
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  I was on a bachelorette trip.
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  Then my birthday comes.
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  When my birthday comes, it's just all.
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  We have pre-service and we feed everybody.
• 5:55
  Like my discipline is kind of off.
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  Yeah, you're done.
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  You're done.
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  Yeah.
• 6:00
  Well.
• 6:01
  Well that's.
• 6:02
  Maybe I can have a beach body in December.
• 6:03
  Wait.
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  No, I can't because Thanksgiving after Halloween.
• 6:11
  That's when the eating goes downhill.
• 6:13
  That's it.
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  That's it.
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  That's when I start making buttermilk pies.
• 6:16
  Yeah.
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  And they are to die for literally.
• 6:19
  Okay.
• 6:20
  That's enough negativity.
• 6:21
  Let's hear your Coffie break.
• 6:26
  Okay.
• 6:29
  Okay.
• 6:35
  So for today's Coffie break, guys, I want to say just because it takes time, does it
• 6:41
  mean it's not going to happen?
• 6:44
  Now has that ever happened in your life where, you know, you were anticipating something
• 6:50
  and it just seems like it was not going to happen.
• 6:53
  It was going to take forever and ever.
• 6:55
  And then bam, just when you weren't thinking of it.
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  Absolutely.
• 6:59
  It happened.
• 7:00
  Absolutely.
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  And that's a lesson just to keep, you know, pushing forward.
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  You know what I'm saying?
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  When you begin to get in a journey or you're going through a storm, you cannot see the
• 7:10
  end.
• 7:11
  All you see is the clouds that are before you.
• 7:14
  Yeah.
• 7:15
  But if you change your perspective, the sun is shining.
• 7:20
  Yeah.
• 7:21
  You're just in a moment.
• 7:22
  So yeah, if it's just because it's taking long, doesn't mean you're not going to get
• 7:26
  you.
• 7:27
  You're moving through a storm.
• 7:28
  Right.
• 7:29
  And that's a word for those who lose hope and look at their circumstances and say that,
• 7:35
  you know, my life is over because of this scenario at this moment in my life.
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  It's just a bump.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  You gotta keep going.
• 7:45
  Yeah.
• 7:46
  You know what?
• 7:47
  And I take that to like, you know, you can look back at your past and be like, ah, that's
• 7:54
  why I didn't get that position.
• 7:57
  Because there was something greater in my future.
• 7:59
  That's right.
• 8:00
  And you thought that what you was going through was going to take you out.
• 8:04
  Yep.
• 8:05
  And then you don't even have the understanding of when you look back at something that you
• 8:10
  survived or you got through, how impactful, how important that is to your growth.
• 8:17
  And so, yeah, just because it's taken a little while.
• 8:22
  Doesn't mean it's not going to happen.
• 8:24
  Keep going.
• 8:25
  Keep going.
• 8:26
  Don't give up.
• 8:27
  I used to do that in school, you know, final week was, it was rough.
• 8:33
  But I went in with the attitude, it does not matter what happens, today it's over.
• 8:40
  Good or bad, hey, today is over.
• 8:44
  So I'm going to give it all I got and we're going to live with the circumstances.
• 8:47
  You know what?
• 8:48
  Sometimes that, that thing, that result that you're looking for might not be the result,
• 8:56
  the expected result.
• 8:59
  And that's one of the things that, you know, when I look at, you know, doesn't mean it's
• 9:05
  not going to happen.
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  I perceived how it should happen.
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  But when it did happen, it didn't happen like I perceived it.
• 9:15
  That's right.
• 9:16
  It happened even better.
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  Even better.
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  Okay.
• 9:19
  And you were more prepared for it.
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  Exactly.
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  You got to go through some things to be prepared to stand in some places and we don't ever
• 9:27
  want to go through, but going through gives you understanding and gives you longevity.
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  It gives you experience.
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  But in that wait and in that preparation, there's growth.
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  That's it.
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  Because that's the only way you can be able to handle it.
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  Because you're not standing still.
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  Okay.
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  You're going through it.
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  Come on, we going to church.
• 9:45
  Yeah, there you go.
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  You're doing it.
• 9:47
  You're doing it.
• 9:48
  Okay.
• 9:49
  What is, what are we talking about today?
• 9:50
  We're going to talk about the show.
• 9:51
  Okay.
• 9:52
  So today we have Ms. Caitlin May.
• 9:55
  Hey Caitlin.
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  Welcome to the show Caitlin.
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  Let me put your mic on so we can hear you.
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  Caitlin in our Head Start program is one of our mental health and disability specialists.
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  And I think her story is super sweet because she came as an intern.
• 10:14
  This is true.
• 10:16
  Yeah.
• 10:17
  So just talk about your journey from, you know, getting hired, starting at when you
• 10:23
  came to volunteer.
• 10:25
  What were you expecting?
• 10:26
  And then, you know, how did you get the confidence or courage to say, hey, I think I could do
• 10:33
  this.
• 10:34
  Why not apply?
• 10:35
  You know, I think I came in with no expectations.
• 10:38
  And I think that's the best thing I could have done because then everything was a new
• 10:42
  opportunity.
• 10:43
  So I came in and I got to work with Ms. Keisha, who I still love to this day.
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  And Keisha and her team kind of just wrapped around me and supported me.
• 10:52
  Anything I wanted to learn, they showed me.
• 10:53
  And stuff I didn't even know I wanted to learn, they showed me.
• 10:57
  And Keisha just supported me and encouraged me.
• 11:00
  And when it was time to graduate, she's like, are you sure you don't want to stick around?
• 11:03
  I was like, you know what, this might be where I'm supposed to be.
• 11:06
  So I ended up applying and the right position happened and now I'm here.
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  Yay.
• 11:11
  How long have you been with Community Action?
• 11:13
  A little over two years.
• 11:14
  Over two years.
• 11:15
  All right.
• 11:16
  So kind of that COVID introduction.
• 11:19
  Oh, that one.
• 11:23
  She doesn't know us before COVID.
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  That could be good or bad.
• 11:27
  I think it's good, though.
• 11:28
  I think it's good.
• 11:29
  Yeah.
• 11:30
  I think it's good.
• 11:31
  COVID was challenging for everybody.
• 11:32
  Oh, absolutely.
• 11:33
  There was a lot of things birthed through COVID.
• 11:37
  So your position is a mental health disability specialist.
• 11:42
  Tell us what that means, because it's a lot of words.
• 11:45
  It is a lot of words.
• 11:47
  So in my role, I work with all of our kiddos in early Head Start and Head Start.
• 11:52
  So starting age birth to five.
• 11:54
  And I help to identify any of the kiddos that we serve in our program that may need some
• 11:59
  additional help.
• 12:00
  That might mean that they need services like play therapy, or they may need services to
• 12:04
  help with their development.
• 12:05
  So I help to identify those kids, work with our staff and with their families to help
• 12:10
  them find the services that are going to help them get up to par by the time they're ready
• 12:13
  for kindergarten.
• 12:14
  So I'm sure that those are some difficult conversations that you have to have with parents
• 12:18
  because in just seeing your title, mental health and disability specialist, talk about
• 12:29
  just some of the misconceptions about your title or even those words, even those phrases,
• 12:37
  mental health and disability.
• 12:38
  Absolutely.
• 12:39
  And I think any of those words together or separate is scary, especially for parents,
• 12:43
  because a lot of parents internalize that as I did something wrong, something's wrong
• 12:47
  with my child when that couldn't be further from the truth.
• 12:51
  Some of our kiddos that have disabilities have special abilities because of their disability.
• 12:55
  I'd like that.
• 12:57
  And then our kiddos that struggle with mental health, again, another scary term for when
• 13:01
  you're a kid or you're an adult.
• 13:03
  A lot of people don't want to admit that they need some help.
• 13:05
  But the reality of the situation is that we all need help, regardless of our age.
• 13:09
  And some of our kiddos come from backgrounds where they've seen some things, they've heard
• 13:13
  some things, they've been through some things.
• 13:16
  So if we can provide them with support early on, all we're doing is helping them combat
• 13:20
  those challenges now so that they don't come up as their adults.
• 13:24
  Would you say, you know, when it comes to when I think of mental health, like you said,
• 13:34
  we all battle with sometimes, I don't know the right word, like emotional health.
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  I think of emotional health when I think of mental health because that could mean a diagnosed
• 13:50
  or severe disability, but it also doesn't necessarily mean that.
• 13:55
  Absolutely not.
• 13:56
  I think in a lot of our kids, it presents in different ways.
• 13:59
  So for some of our kids, it's a behavior.
• 14:01
  And a behavior can mean anything.
• 14:03
  A behavior could be that they're struggling with the transition into the classroom in
• 14:06
  the morning.
• 14:07
  A behavior could be that they are struggling to share with their peers.
• 14:11
  We see a lot of that pop up with our kiddos and it presents very differently in children.
• 14:16
  But I think that the support that we provide in the Head Start classroom just in general
• 14:20
  helps to combat a lot of that.
• 14:22
  And then we have additional services that we're now able to offer them to be able to
• 14:25
  help even more.
• 14:26
  Yeah.
• 14:27
  So one thing you said, for example, the behavioral challenges in children.
• 14:33
  However, adults have behavioral challenges as well.
• 14:37
  That they do.
• 14:38
  And would you say that's along the same lines of, say if someone doesn't necessarily mean
• 14:47
  to be hurtful, but says something that's challenging to you and an adult pops off.
• 14:54
  That would be the same kind of behavioral challenge, correct?
• 14:57
  Absolutely.
• 14:58
  I think in a lot of our kids, we expect them to act a certain way or be capable of certain
• 15:03
  things.
• 15:04
  But the reality is at that age that a lot of times we have unrealistic expectations
• 15:08
  that a three-year-old is going to sit in circle time for 20 minutes and be very quiet
• 15:12
  and content.
• 15:13
  And that's not the reality.
• 15:14
  So I think a lot of times when we can kind of shift our perspective, that can help as
• 15:18
  well.
• 15:19
  Good deal.
• 15:20
  I think one of the questions I might have after this break is have you noticed a change
• 15:25
  in children before COVID and after COVID?
• 15:30
  That's a question we're going to save for after the break.
• 15:32
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 15:43
  This past year has highlighted the strength of Community Action Council.
• 15:47
  Every day our staff works together to help families recover from this crisis.
• 15:52
  We're educating children at home and in person, helping parents who lost their jobs, and helping
• 15:57
  households avoid eviction.
• 15:59
  Our work at Community Action Council has never been more important than it is right now.
• 16:04
  So why not join us?
• 16:05
  We have employment opportunities requiring a range of skills from entry level to advanced.
• 16:10
  Apply online at commaction.org.
• 16:15
  Community Action Council's Head Start programs are now enrolling for the 24-25 school year
• 16:19
  in 15 counties, including Lexington.
• 16:22
  Head Start offers high quality early childhood education for qualifying families with children
• 16:27
  between the ages of six weeks and five years old.
• 16:29
  Spaces are limited and filling up quickly.
• 16:31
  So to help ensure your child receives the Head Start advantage this year, start your
• 16:35
  application today by calling 859-233-4600 or go online at commaction.org.
• 16:44
  That's commaction.org.
• 17:15
  And you are listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 17:19
  So we're here with Kaitlyn May, who is a disabilities and mental health specialist with Community
• 17:25
  Action Council and our Head Start program.
• 17:28
  So Kaitlyn, we in, I can tell the difference with, you know, our classrooms and the supports
• 17:37
  needed before COVID.
• 17:39
  So before COVID, there were quite a bit of our Head Start classrooms that needed more
• 17:47
  support with guiding behaviors.
• 17:50
  But after COVID, we've seen more early Head Start.
• 17:56
  Can you tell us, you know, is there, why the change?
• 18:01
  You know, I think that's a great question.
• 18:02
  I think a lot of people are asking, why are we seeing such a spike in behaviors?
• 18:06
  Even the school districts are seeing it.
• 18:07
  I think that a lot of it is rooted in the fact that, you know, we get start crazy when
• 18:11
  we're at home.
• 18:12
  I think everybody during COVID got a little start crazy.
• 18:14
  I think that happened with a lot of our little ones, too.
• 18:17
  They had less exposure to the real world, to other kids, to interacting with others.
• 18:22
  And I think that played a vital role in their preparation for school.
• 18:25
  And a lot of these kids didn't get that.
• 18:27
  So I think that they lack those skills.
• 18:29
  And that's why we're here is to teach them those skills.
• 18:31
  And that can be hard with a two and three year old.
• 18:33
  Right, right.
• 18:34
  So with some of the bad, I would say COVID was COVID can equal trauma.
• 18:44
  Just because just because some of the things that we all were used to, we couldn't do,
• 18:51
  we couldn't interact.
• 18:53
  It was trauma for me, at least.
• 18:55
  So can you talk about how different traumas can affect someone's emotional health?
• 19:06
  And not looking at trauma as just abuse, trauma could be a change in the family dynamic.
• 19:15
  Absolutely.
• 19:16
  There's, I mean, any change that happens to a young child outside of their norm is going
• 19:20
  to be hard for them to adapt to.
• 19:23
  I think with some of our kiddos, when they experience a loss in the family, whether that
• 19:26
  be that that family has chosen to leave the family or that there was a death in the family,
• 19:31
  that's really hard for our little ones to understand and comprehend.
• 19:33
  And you have to remember that if they're feeling that loss, the adults in their life are also
• 19:37
  feeling that loss.
• 19:39
  So feeling some of that coming from not only their own emotions, but from their family's
• 19:42
  emotions can present in the classroom in terms of how they attach to adults, how they play
• 19:47
  with their peers.
• 19:48
  So maybe that's that kiddo that's clinging onto your leg and will not let go for dear
• 19:52
  life because they're looking for someone to have that attachment to because that person
• 19:56
  that left their life may have been the person that they were closest to.
• 19:59
  And that can go the opposite direction to there could be those kiddos that are very
• 20:03
  resistant to attachment because they have that fear of if I get too close to you, you're
• 20:07
  going to leave me just like daddy did or mommy did or my uncle did.
• 20:11
  So I think that a lot of times when we have that understanding of what they've been through,
• 20:15
  it's not an excuse, but it gives us an understanding and we can kind of move forward from that
• 20:19
  and help them process that.
• 20:21
  Yeah.
• 20:22
  What advice would you give a parent who their family dynamic has changed, you know, whether
• 20:27
  it's a family member who is gone or say a family where dad or mom's schedule changed
• 20:37
  to where they might work midnights and not see the family.
• 20:40
  Like what would you tell someone or a parent or guardian going through a change like that,
• 20:47
  how they could one, notice if something is different with the child, but also to what
• 20:53
  support or how could they support their child?
• 20:57
  Absolutely.
• 20:58
  So I think a lot of times with kids, we think when something happens, we can kind of just
• 21:01
  shift and keep moving and hope they don't notice.
• 21:03
  But kids are a little more observant than we give them enough credit for.
• 21:07
  So I think that the best thing that we can do is try to prepare them for that.
• 21:11
  So if we know a big change is coming or that a big change has happened, talk to them about
• 21:16
  that and give them some type of warning of, you know, mommy's not going to pick you up
• 21:19
  today.
• 21:20
  It's going to be grandma.
• 21:21
  A lot of times in the classrooms, we use something called a visual support.
• 21:24
  So what that looks like is creating a schedule for the kiddos with what time they're having
• 21:28
  each of their activities and a picture of what that's going to look like.
• 21:32
  And for some of our kiddos, it's individual and we kind of walk them through what their
• 21:35
  day is going to look like piece by piece.
• 21:37
  And for some of our families going through those big transitions where they're experiencing
• 21:40
  some challenges with their kiddos, we recommend that they do that too, so that the kiddo has
• 21:44
  some indication of what's coming next and some ability of predictability.
• 21:48
  You said something really good.
• 21:51
  I grew up where kids didn't get in grown folk business.
• 21:56
  So business was going on, but I may not know the details.
• 22:01
  But like you said, I feel the impact.
• 22:04
  I feel the impact of the stress that's stressing out mom.
• 22:08
  I'm feeling that.
• 22:09
  Absolutely.
• 22:10
  And to deal with that.
• 22:11
  So I would think one way too would be for the parent to get some help.
• 22:17
  Absolutely.
• 22:18
  And for some of our Head Start kiddos, for those of you who don't know that are watching,
• 22:21
  we actually offer free mental health services to our families through Champion.
• 22:25
  And that is an amazing service that I know a lot of our families aren't aware of.
• 22:29
  And we do everything we can to try to make sure they're aware of it because that is amazing.
• 22:33
  A lot of our parents, you know, there's some pride that comes along with getting some mental
• 22:37
  health services.
• 22:38
  And as someone who has been through mental health therapy myself, I know that the impact
• 22:43
  is amazing and it can help you work on your own challenges, but then also help be better
• 22:48
  for your kids.
• 22:50
  I think one of the greatest things about seeking that mental health or emotional support or
• 22:55
  trying to grow that part of you is you learn ways of how to cope.
• 23:02
  First you have to be aware.
• 23:04
  Oh, this is why I react this way.
• 23:07
  Oh, this reaction isn't good.
• 23:10
  So what's next?
• 23:12
  And learning how to cope or learning how to de-escalate yourself is one of the most important tools
• 23:20
  that I've learned myself.
• 23:22
  So what would you tell either parents in learning how to de-escalate?
• 23:30
  Say if their child is, you know, if a child has behavioral problems at school, they might
• 23:36
  have behavioral problems at home.
• 23:38
  How can a parent de-escalate themselves to address a child in a way where the child doesn't
• 23:48
  see them angry?
• 23:50
  I think the important thing with that is to remember that we're always going to be the
• 23:53
  one to model that for our kids, whether it's in a teaching role or as a parent or guardian.
• 23:58
  So one of the things that I had an opportunity to attend a conference last week in Denver.
• 24:02
  It was a conscious discipline conference, which is our social emotional tool that we
• 24:05
  use here at Head Start.
• 24:06
  And one of the things that they talked about in that conference really stuck with me.
• 24:10
  It said that you cannot expect a child to operate in a higher state of being than the
• 24:15
  one that you are currently operating in.
• 24:18
  So if you are highly emotional, if you are in fight or flight, that child cannot respond
• 24:24
  to you in a high state of operating to where, yes, mommy, I will do that, mommy, I'm going
• 24:28
  to put my shoes away exactly how you told me to.
• 24:30
  So I think it's important to remember that we have to escalate or deescalate ourselves
• 24:35
  before we can expect that child to.
• 24:38
  And there's no shame in saying, mommy needs to take a minute to breathe.
• 24:41
  I'm going to come back to you in five minutes.
• 24:43
  There's no shame in that.
• 24:44
  Right.
• 24:45
  There's no shame in saying, I need a few minutes to gather my thoughts before I can come to
• 24:48
  a resolution with you.
• 24:49
  So I think gaining that composure before addressing your child is a key component to modeling
• 24:54
  that for them.
• 24:55
  And I think another thing is, I don't know where I heard this, but the reaction of a
• 25:01
  child is based on something other than what you're looking at.
• 25:05
  You know what I'm saying?
• 25:06
  So the kid is acting out and is acting out because the car is not working the way he
• 25:12
  wants, but it don't have nothing to do with the car.
• 25:14
  You got to find out what's the source.
• 25:17
  You know what I'm saying?
• 25:19
  And that helps me deal with, you know, family, that helps me deal with other folks when they're
• 25:24
  acting out or lashing out.
• 25:27
  I'm like, this, okay, yeah, the car won't start, but what's the real problem?
• 25:32
  Right.
• 25:33
  Absolutely.
• 25:34
  It just encourages us to be better investigators, to get to some root causes.
• 25:38
  Now, you know, I know you don't like me saying this, but some kids are just bad.
• 25:42
  Some kids are just bad.
• 25:43
  Children are not bad, Kim.
• 25:44
  They are not.
• 25:45
  All behavior is a mode of communication.
• 25:46
  I know.
• 25:47
  I know.
• 25:48
  This past year has been...
• 25:49
  I hit the wrong one.
• 25:50
  That was supposed to be my what?
• 25:51
  Commute.
• 25:52
  I'm on the wrong one.
• 25:56
  So what tools or resources would you recommend for parents to, you know, get them connected
• 26:09
  with, get them, you know, a little bit more knowledgeable about, you know, how to identify
• 26:19
  if your child needs additional assistance?
• 26:21
  Absolutely.
• 26:22
  So, at the beginning of the school year, within those first 45 days, our teachers in our classrooms
• 26:27
  are conducting screenings on your kiddos.
• 26:29
  Some of that is related to developmental things.
• 26:31
  Are they walking when they're supposed to?
• 26:32
  Are they talking the way that they're supposed to?
• 26:35
  But then we also do some social emotional screenings.
• 26:37
  How do they interact with their peers?
• 26:39
  How do they, are they aware of safety?
• 26:41
  All of those types of questions.
• 26:43
  So partnering with the teacher in the classroom to say, here are some of my concerns, and
• 26:47
  partnering with the teacher to hear what their concerns are, we can kind of identify where
• 26:51
  those struggle points are and work together as a team to be able to combat those.
• 26:54
  Whether that means that we're seeking out some additional outside help from a different
• 26:58
  agency, or whether we're just partnering to try to game plan.
• 27:01
  How are we going to work on this together?
• 27:03
  Do you ever within your positions, we know that parents or guardians, their first line
• 27:10
  of communication is the teacher.
• 27:12
  Are there any times where you come in and do trainings or communicate with the parents?
• 27:18
  Absolutely.
• 27:19
  Some of that comes from me working directly with the teachers and they let me know, hey,
• 27:24
  I have a family who may need some additional support and I'm happy to jump in when that's
• 27:27
  the case.
• 27:28
  But we also offer different family engagement nights that I have the opportunity to talk
• 27:31
  at engage with the families.
• 27:33
  And we have a parenting credential class where we walk through some of these situations of
• 27:37
  how do we navigate some of these behaviors that are happening at home?
• 27:40
  How can I as a parent deescalate myself to better help my child?
• 27:44
  And we offer that to families free of charge.
• 27:47
  Do you have a particular, we don't have to go into names, but a particular family that
• 27:52
  impacted you and that you that you dealt with and had great results?
• 27:57
  Absolutely, I do.
• 27:59
  There was a family that I was working with that we actually had two of their kiddos.
• 28:03
  And at the beginning, the family was a little resistant to what we were seeing in the classroom
• 28:08
  and some of the delays that we were seeing.
• 28:11
  And you know, I think first impressions are everything.
• 28:13
  So if you come in hardcore, something's wrong with your child, you need to fix this, which
• 28:17
  we don't.
• 28:18
  But if you did, that parent is going to be very standoffish with you.
• 28:21
  So having to meet them where they're at and saying, I understand you're not in a place
• 28:24
  to talk about this right now.
• 28:25
  I'm gonna give you some information to look over.
• 28:28
  And then we're going to kind of circle back to this in a month.
• 28:31
  So we did that with one of our families that we had and we kind of worked with her to get
• 28:35
  to a place where she was comfortable to start having those conversations.
• 28:38
  And once she realized that I wasn't here to force her in a direction, I was here to support
• 28:42
  her in making a decision.
• 28:44
  I think that that really is what shifted our relationship.
• 28:46
  And to this day, she knows me by name, she'll email me, she'll call me.
• 28:49
  I'm here to support her in getting her kids services.
• 28:52
  And both of them ended up getting services and now their development has flourished.
• 28:56
  Are they still in the program or have they already gone on to?
• 29:00
  They're getting ready to transition away from us.
• 29:02
  I'm so sad.
• 29:03
  I love them.
• 29:05
  But I know that they're moving on to bigger and better things.
• 29:06
  And I know that we made an impact with them being in our program.
• 29:10
  Well, Caitlin, I'm so glad that you're here on the show today.
• 29:19
  Contact information and resources.
• 29:22
  I'm going to give them the 233.
• 29:26
  That's our favorite number.
• 29:27
  859-233-4600.
• 29:28
  You're interested in getting in the Head Start program.
• 29:35
  And these services that Caitlin provides are free with every child.
• 29:42
  And whether you want to get connected with the program or you want to talk to Caitlin
• 29:47
  personally about, you know, just identifying some things emotionally and what are additional
• 29:54
  resources you can get.
• 29:55
  Again, you can contact us at 859-233-4600.
• 30:01
  Thank you for being on the show, Caitlin.
• 30:03
  It's been a pleasure having you.
• 30:04
  Thank you for having me.
• 30:05
  I've enjoyed it.
• 30:06
  All right.
• 30:07
  You have been listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 30:10
  Tell a friend, share the show.
• 30:11
  See you when we see you.