Latest / SisterSmart Leadership / 22: The Neuroscience Needed to Create a High-Performance Environment

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22: The Neuroscience Needed to Create a High-Performance Environment · SisterSmart Leadership

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  We all know communication is an important skill for leaders.
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  Then how is it that so many conversations go so wrong?
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  If you want to improve your ability to create stronger relationships,
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  not only with your team but also your peers and senior leaders, you're going
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  to want to listen to this episode because we are going to let you in
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  on the secret to how your physiology could actually be holding you back
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  from being the best that you can be.
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  I'm Jill Avey, a career success coach, and this is Sister Smart Leadership, the
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  show that explores how women can rise from director to vice president and beyond
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  by fully leaning into their feminine energy as their biggest advantage.
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  Let's get you one step closer to the recognition and promotion you deserve.
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  I'm here with Sister Smart coach, Sarah Spencer, and we are combining the
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  latest in neuroscience, which has only become available since the invention
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  of the fMRI with conversation skills to help you open up your conversations
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  in order to get decisions more quickly, problem solve more effectively,
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  discover those new innovations that are going to change your business.
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  So this is our client's favorite part of the Sister Smart leadership program.
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  It's the one that impacts their performance, their team's performance
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  the most, and starts to get them the attention that they deserve.
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  So the first thing that I want to talk about is the two parts of our brain.
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  So Sarah, can you tell us a little bit more about, the
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  primitive part of the brain?
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  Yeah, the, primitive part of the brain, that's that part of our
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  mind that wants to keep us safe.
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  It causes us to, in challenging environments, like to either
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  fight, freeze, or flee.
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  And I think we've all heard the story that, if we're hiking and we see a bear,
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  right, we're going to do one of those.
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  And so it just, and it happens so fast.
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  And it's that part of our brain also that has more of that negativity bias.
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  So it's because it wants to keep us safe.
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  It's not out looking for peace and harmony.
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  It's looking for danger all the time, isn't it?
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  It wants to keep us safe and keep us alive.
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  And so it's not thinking about, those higher functions, which
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  is that, that human brain.
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  Yes, right.
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  And what often happens is this fight or flight mode that you're talking
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  about, this comes from the amygdala and we can feel that as fight.
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  Sometimes we call it amygdala hijack.
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  Sometimes we call it the fight or flight mode.
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  So first is the fight mode and this comes out a little
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  differently in the business world.
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  So, when you're in a meeting, it's not that bear that you're meeting on the
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  trail where you're literally wanting to run and keep yourself physically safe.
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  In a meeting, we're more talking about protecting our ego, not our body.
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  And so the fight mechanism might come out as somebody arguing or
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  digging in their heels harder.
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  And I know this is one of that I feel a lot.
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  And so, that's how we might see that in a meeting.
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  And then the flight mode might come out as feeling like you really
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  need to leave, like, we got to get this meeting over with now.
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  Not this meetings droning on for a long time and I have other things to do, we
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  often feel that, but when there's an urgency to that, and then we're feeling
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  like, we've got to wrap it up now.
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  I, I, or I literally need to leave the room.
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  You have a hard time sitting in your chair.
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  That's a good notice that, flight mechanism might be going on.
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  And then there's freeze, which is more like, a senior leader calls on you for
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  something and your mind just goes blank.
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  It might be something that you know about, you do it all day every day
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  and you can't think of a single thing.
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  That's a common freeze response.
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  And then the next mechanism that we have is appease.
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  So this one often feels like fine, whatever you want me to do.
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  And it might be like crossed arms and a little leaning back of just
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  needing this to get over with.
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  And you're going to tell them whatever they want to hear to be
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  able to get out of this conversation.
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  And then the final one is tend and befriend.
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  So this is what looks like a peacemaking effort.
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  So a lot of people have a great distress when there's argument going
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  on or when it starts to get heated.
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  And so that might feel like, very urgently needing to calm things
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  down and get people to get along.
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  So those are some of the different ways that we can see the fight
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  or flight mode going off in a business situation in a meeting.
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  And we can watch out for that and, and calm ourselves, like, so we can take
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  efforts to calm ourselves in a meeting.
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  And I'm thinking about this one client that we had that really
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  got a lot of use out of this.
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  She was in finance and sometimes the finance people have to be that person
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  who's, you know, I'm not always delivering a message that people want to hear about,
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  we can't do that or the budgets are tight or how much is that going to cost?
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  And, sometimes making hard decisions around money.
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  And so she was really watching for these mechanisms in her meetings and was able
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  to really see when somebody else was having that response and work to be
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  able to partner more with them in those moments so that they didn't feel that
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  and they could calm down themselves.
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  She was also able to notice it in herself when it started to happen to her and be
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  able to, do some breathing and take some take a moment to kind of get out of that
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  mode and back into her better brain.
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  So the better part of our brain is the human brain is what
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  we call it for ease of use.
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  And so what, tell us a little bit more about what the human brain is like, Sarah.
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  Yeah.
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  So the human brain, if we even think about our hand, right?
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  So this is from Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain, right?
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  It's not really what it looks like.
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  So we've got our primitive brain and then the prefrontal cortex,
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  imagine it laying over, right?
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  And so if you look at it, you can almost, notice when you get triggered, right?
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  And then you want to, take a moment like Jill had mentioned to
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  notice if you're going into that fight or freeze or flee response.
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  And this is the part of our mind that masters those higher functions.
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  It's our conscious brain.
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  It's a part of our brain where we access creativity and innovation, where
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  we can really create a environment of trust with our team and belonging.
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  So it's that part of our mind where, the hormone oxytocin comes from and so we want
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  to just be aware when we get triggered and we're in that primitive brain so that
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  we can move to the prefrontal cortex.
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  And so that's where, you know, we can increase generosity with others, we can
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  build social confidence with our team.
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  We can increase group connection.
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  And Jill, you were talking about that example with one of your clients.
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  So we have to also think about mirror neurons.
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  Like what are we putting off?
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  She was noticing that other people on the team were maybe in their primitive mind.
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  And so how could she create that environment that is
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  warm and relaxing, right?
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  It's that fertile ground where we can see each other differently,
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  work better together, have that trust and more openness.
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  Right.
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  And that's what we want.
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  We want to bring more of ourselves to work and be more engaged in that
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  innovative and creative space so that, our team and our organization is
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  accessing more of our full potential.
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  So anything else you want to add about the human brain,
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  the, in our prefrontal cortex?
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  Well, it's really where the magic happens and what makes us able
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  to do what we can do as humans.
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  And so it's definitely the exciting part of our brain that
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  we want to be in more often.
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  So often, instead, we are flooded with the hormone cortisol.
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  And so that's something that we want to really want to watch for
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  because what cortisol does is it prepares our body to fight or flee.
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  It's what is triggering that fight or flight mode that
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  we were just talking about.
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  It's moving the blood to all of the muscles so that your body's ready to go.
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  This goes back to evolutionary times when we were being chased by something it's.
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  So even though we're not being chased by something now, it's,
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  we're protecting our ego.
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  It's still preparing our body to move.
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  And the thing that reason why that's important is because it
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  shuts down the organs that aren't required for that quick movement.
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  So our digestive system, and importantly, the human brain that
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  Sarah was just talking about.
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  So this is the most important part of our brain.
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  It's the part of our brain that we need to, when we are
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  in meetings to be at our best.
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  And yet it's shut down when we're in fight or flight mode.
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  And we just, we don't have a lot of access to it at all.
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  And because that's not the time that we want to, share and bond and partner with
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  people, our body's doing something else.
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  And so this is really important for us when we think about our performance
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  in a meeting, our performance is going to go way down if we've got
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  a cortisol situation, because we are seeing people as friend or foe.
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  And we actually see people as objects, not as as humans.
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  And so that can really make a difference on, how your, How
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  you're behaving in a meeting and, people want to protect themselves.
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  They want to protect their budgets, their departments and their own
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  perception of, how people are seeing them and things like that.
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  So, it's really not the place that we want to be in a meeting.
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  Instead it would be much better to be in that oxytocin state where, oh,
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  you were just talking about that.
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  Sarah, what more can you tell us about oxytocin?
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  Oxytocin, that's that love hormone.
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  And it's not that we're coming to work to be in that state, but it creates
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  more, as I mentioned, more trust, right?
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  And we're appreciating others and their diversity and their
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  differences versus judging, right?
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  You had mentioned friend or foe, right?
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  That we want to be in an environment that isn't, covering for ourselves, right?
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  We want to be in an environment where it's positive and appreciative, right?
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  So more reinforcing the positive versus explaining or judging.
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  And it takes a moment to, shift gears and notice.
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  like the physical, right?
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  So have that physicality trigger you to know, okay, I need to
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  access another part of my brain.
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  Like you had mentioned, like take some deep breaths, right?
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  So that you can, actively increase the oxytocin.
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  Shift and reframe.
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  Is one tool that I know you mentioned in, in the training and then refocus
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  your mind and redirect when you're in meetings are in conversations
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  and you notice you're going into that primitive brain state because.
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  Really where you're going to get the most from yourself and from others
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  and be able to create that space of psychological safety and trust with
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  your team is when we're more actively engaging our prefrontal cortex, right?
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  Those higher functions of our mind.
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  Yeah.
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  I even had one boss that he really liked to manage with fear.
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  And so I would, I would get triggered from him all the time.
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  And I even would write a note in my notebook about, I am safe here.
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  There is, there's no danger here for me because that way I could
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  use my mind to calm myself down versus my body just reacting to him.
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  And, and he was actually a really nice, funny guy, but he just, he
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  just had this habit of using fear.
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  And so, if I could keep myself focused on, the manager that I really liked, and
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  that part of him that I liked more then it would help me stay in the performance
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  that I wanted to be in, in the meetings.
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  I think we had that same boss.
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  And I think those are those learned habits and patterns and
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  behaviors of leading, right?
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  And he must have gotten some, you know, reaction and movement
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  by being in that state.
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  And now there's so much more science on the brain and mirror neurons and how to
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  create an environment trust and belonging.
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  There's so much more leadership information out there nowadays.
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  But I feel like.
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  You know, it's almost like we don't know what we don't know so, I love this
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  part of your course because it really highlights those hidden things about
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  our mind and how we can actively switch from one area of our mind to another, to
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  get the results that we actually want.
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  We want our team to feel comfortable and share content and be at ease
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  so that we get most of them we get more of them in our meetings.
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  Exactly.
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  Yeah.
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  And understanding our physiology is the first place where we can start to do this.
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  So I'm really excited that we got to talk about this today and
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  thanks for joining us, Sarah.
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  My pleasure.
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  Thanks Jill
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  So you can see that we really want to have much more of our conversations in
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  an oxytocin environment because this allows us to be able to use that human
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  brain that we were talking about and not get stuck in our primitive brains.
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  So we like to end every episode by giving you three shifts that you can make today.
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  So our first shift is to watch yourself in conversations and see when you're getting
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  triggered into that fight or flight mode.
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  So I described the Five different modalities that you might feel in that.
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  After you start to notice when you get triggered, your next shift will
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  be to be to notice what your body's telling you because you want to
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  tap into your body sensations here.
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  As, as Sarah was mentioning, it's really good to be able to feel what your body's
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  telling you because that's Always going to tell you faster than your mind because
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  that primitive brain works really fast.
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  You're always going to feel it first before your mind will catch up and
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  figure out what's going on there.
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  So that's your second shift.
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  And then your third shift will be to notice which
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  situations are triggering you.
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  Most often we were mentioning a certain manager that might've triggered us.
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  Sometimes it's a coworker, sometimes it's a subject matter different
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  types of meetings can do that.
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  So.
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  When you can identify where you're getting triggered, it can help you to
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  identify which methods you want to bring with you to be able to calm yourself.
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  So sometimes just coming in, Sarah was talking about reframing.
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  So coming in and just framing your mindset before you come into
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  a meeting can be very helpful.
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  So, have you ever felt fight or flight response in a meeting?
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  We'd love to hear from you if you're watching this on YouTube in the
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  comments to share which one of those fight or flight responses you felt
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  before and and maybe, how that felt for you that we would love to hear that.
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  And also speaking of being able to calm yourself down, head on over to
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  the show notes and get our guide with eight quick relaxation techniques
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  to quickly calm down in a meeting.
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  So this guide will give you a whole handful of things that you can do to stay
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  in that human brain, rather than letting your amygdala get hijacked so that you're
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  at your best for your full meeting.
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  And if you want to dive deeper into women's leadership and how you can
• 14:56
  move up in your career, Subscribe either on YouTube or wherever you
• 14:59
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• 15:05
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• 15:18
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• 15:31
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