Latest / Tits, Wit, & Grit / Courtrooms, Runways, & Community with Heather Reese
Transcript
- Sara Frasca: Tits Wit and Grit is a podcast created to hold honest, intelligent conversations with women who lead, build, and navigate demanding professional lives. This podcast was born from a belief that women benefit from spaces where experience is honored, perspective is shared openly, and leadership can be discussed in both depth and candor, and maybe even a little laughter. Each episode brings forth voices that will offer insight drawn from their experience, and we will all speak honestly about leadership, resilience, ambition, and personal evolution. So let's get started. Tits, wit, and grit. Laura: Well, welcome listeners. We are so excited to be here for another episode of Tits, Wit and Grit. But before we get into the juicy content, we have got to pause, Drumroll, please. I am happy to announce that today we have received the official notice. The Tits, Wit and Grit name has been trademarked. So all of you that are trying to copy it, steal licensing rights, make t-shirts, we're coming after you because now we own it. no, but seriously, we are super excited. it's been a great journey so far, and I can't wait to see what's ahead. So thanks to everybody for listening. tell all of your friends, it's been an amazing podcast to be a part of. And with that, we've got an even better podcast today. We've got a very special guest who we will let her introduce herself. But we are excited to have her on. Thank you so much. And guest, go for it. Heather Reese: Ha yes, congratulations on the trademark. That's amazing. First off, Tracy Hill: Yeah. Heather Reese: my name's Heather Reese. I'm an attorney in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I'm also a plus size model and an activist. I knew I wanted to be an attorney pretty young. I'm adopted from Peru. I think that representation is incredibly important in this industry. so I especially wanted to push even harder, you know, through school and through law school to make sure that, you know, even though I'm very blessed and I'm adopted and I was raised into a a pretty well off family, that you know, the next little Latina girl could grow up and see that she could become an attorney as well. when it comes to a plus size model, I became one about two years ago when I went through a divorce. And I used to always say, like, maybe this isn't meant for me in this lifetime, maybe the next lifetime. And when I went through the divorce, I was like, Everything is gonna be for me in this lifetime. and I shot my shot on a thread and I got booked and I've done like five runways since then, some like small editorial work, some content work, and it's just it's just been amazing I wanted. I also wanted every other, you know, little girl to see that, you know, beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. Sara Frasca: It's incredible. Bravo to you. Heather Reese: Thank you. Sara Frasca: I love the slogan, no, it's meant for me in this life. I'm gonna do everything in this life. I mean, that's like gets my goosebumps going. Laura: on the model side, obviously, you know, being a woman and you know, our our tits part of the show, you know, obviously, tell us just kind of about that journey as as a woman, a a model, plus size model, but also just kind of any encounters that you had along the way. Heather Reese: Yeah, so it was I saw a thread about two years ago about a woman looking for a plus size model on the East Coast and I like responded to the thread and I said, Hey, not a formal model, but I'd like love to be considered. She wrote back to me and she was like, Send me a walking video and I remember it was like seven AM on like a work day and I said something to my paralegal I like, You to film me walking down the hallway right now. Like I need you to make it look good. She was a Gen Z. And I was like, You need to make it eat Like I need it needs to look good, like I need to get booked. I sent it and she was like, You're booked and you know, it was the most amazing experience. I remember walking in that day and being like, I don't know what I'm doing here. Like I'm getting fitted for clothes and I kept saying to the designers, I was like, I'm not like I'm just a lawyer. Like I don't know what I'm doing here. These girls are all professionals. It was really amazing though, you know. It was with Crusades of Curves run by this woman, Mal. She really does curate a really amazing group of women who were all incredibly supportive, some of which have become my best friends. And they were all very much like, Let me show you how to walk, like let me help you and it's been an amazing journey with them. You know, I've got to walk two of her runways and then I've got to do a few other work for simple size lines. It's been pretty amazing. Tracy Hill: That's fantastic. Laura: You get to keep the clothes. Heather Reese: I know. I wish. Sara Frasca: Okay. Heather Reese: I'm probably not big enough. Maybe if when I become like very big you probably can, but no at mine. I mean you do get a discount. So I walked to I walked to a few shows and I did get discounts for some of the clothes and I was like definitely buying them, so Sara Frasca: Okay, you Laura: Awesome. Sara Frasca: said you said, let's make this eat. What did that mean? Heather Reese: Yeah, so like I feel Gen Z is like, you know, revolutionizing the way we speak, the way we act, the way we move. And I think I was like, I need this to like just look amazing. Like I need them to see this video and be like, We have to have her. And I feel like Gen Z is really good at capturing stuff. Like my paralegal, the she's now one of my really good friends. She like just snapped me into reality. I mean she also catch caught me like when I was coming from a divorce. But she used to always say to me, like, some people are okay with eating crumbs. Stop eating crumbs, Heather. Sara Frasca: Mm. Heather Reese: And I was like, What? That's revolutionary. I've been eating crumbs my whole life. Like, what am I supposed to do? Sara Frasca: I know that one I know that one from a Taylor Swift song, but the other one, it sounds like what you meant to say was this is rad. Make this rad. Tracy Hill: Now you're showing our age, Sara. Heather Reese: Yeah. Yes, make it make it very rad. Yeah, it's it's definitely just you know, it was an overall really great experience and you know, I knew I could count on her to do like some of my social media stuff to make it look good. Tracy Hill: Yeah. Sara Frasca: It's amazing. Tracy Hill: I'm curious, Heather, like modeling, I guess my mind, and maybe it's stereotypical, is typically a a female dominated industry. And you know, what you read about, at least as I was growing up, is it wasn't very supportive. Other women weren't always supporting each other, but hearing what you've said, it sounds like women were supporting each other. I mean, they were taking the time to help you, show you how to walk, etc. I mean, is that what your whole experience has been? Heather Reese: Yeah, honestly it has. And I think I don't know if it's different in the plus size community. I don't know if it's different in the communities that that I was a part of. I I don't know, but I can tell you all my experiences modeling have been incredibly positive. And I did walk into them very afraid, being like, They're gonna be like, Get this girl out of here. Like, what did she do to get here? She doesn't belong here. But no, I mean they've all been incredibly positive and you do, you see those like videos and movies about like these girls like lying to each other and like stealing each other's stuff. And no, I experienced nothing but like the utmost positivity. Laura: So no mean girls, no mean girls in the mix. Heather Reese: No, I didn't really experience any mean calls. What I will say is that being a lawyer, you have a very different way of approaching things, right? Like I'm pretty I'm pretty aggressive and straightforward and like if I want to do something, I wanna do something, and that's not always like the modeling world, right? A lot of the times like you know, you you you take what you're given. And I think that's very different than my personality. So I'm incredibly outspoken when it comes to like if I want to do something, I'm like Hey, I want to do something, or if somebody's offering me something I'm saying, I make limitations on a lot of stuff, like what I'm willing to wear, what I'm willing to do. Not to be rude, just because I also have a professional image I have to, you know, deal with and I already get enough scrutiny for like just existing. So it's like, you know, I have to make sure that I'm paying attention paying attention to those things. So I think sometimes that can rub some people the wrong way, just because they're not used to it. They're not like accustomed to it. Sara Frasca: Hmm. Tracy Hill: Absolutely. Yeah. Sara Frasca: Okay, so those are two big professions and jobs and and time, I would guess, time sucks. How do you manage both of them? And is it like one is sixty percent, one is forty percent, or are you doing a hundred percent of both? Like what Heather Reese: I mean yeah, I don't I can't do a hundred percent of both. I was last year. So I've definitely slowed down a lot. but I'm I'm also pregnant now, so like if you have you've heard me gasping for air in this entire thing, it's because I the baby is taking all of my air. So I literally can't breathe. Thank you. Laura: Congratulations. Heather Reese: Thank you. Tracy Hill: That's fabulous. Sara Frasca: How far along are you? Heather Reese: I'm literally do I'm being induced in a month. Sara Frasca: I mean Tracy Hill: wow. Sara Frasca: this is so exciting like Heather Reese: I'm on the cusp. I'm barely holding it together. I'm sweating. I have three fans going on me. Sara Frasca: well we've all had kids and and now our kids are all older, but we I mean that's like we love we love that for you. Is this your first? Heather Reese: Thank you. It is, it is. Sara Frasca: Gosh, how exciting. Do you Tracy Hill: That's really great. Heather Reese: I'm very excited. Sara Frasca: do you know if it's a little girl or a little boy? Heather Reese: It is a little girl. Tracy Hill: Mm. Laura: Unnamed Laura. That's so awesome. Heather Reese: Yeah, no, we're very Laura: Yeah. Heather Reese: excited. but yeah, it's been quite a journey, you know, being an attorney, being a mom. Like, even just going through pregnancy as an attorney, like I was sweating today in court and I I just took a video and I was like, There's no way I'm gonna make it. I'm like, this is crazy. People literally Sara Frasca: Mm. Heather Reese: go to court until like, you know, they pop and I'm like, This is it's hot, it's summer. I'm running with three fans, people are telling me the wrong way to go, like I'm like, this is just wild my pregnancy hormones are out of control. Laura: Okay, so that is a gritty moment right there. You know, Tracy Hill: Yeah. Laura: one, not only you creating and growing a human inside of you, you're practicing law and you're trying to do it all and how Tracy Hill: Yeah. Laura: how, Heather? What like Heather Reese: my gosh. You know, I don't know how other people did it. I have hats off to everyone here. I don't know how women did it. It is and you know what's so funny? As I used to look at other moms and I would be like, you know, I bet it's hard, but like, you know, we work full time jobs, like we're lawyers. I don't know what I was thinking. That was stupid. That was so wrong. 'Cause now I'm like I see lawyer moms and I'm like, I don't know how you did it. Like, it's literally like your job's already stressful, you're not supposed to be stressed while you're being while you're pregnant and it's like How is that gonna happen? How do you plan Sara Frasca: Mm. Heather Reese: for me to do that? And then just like all of the symptoms. I always thought that it was like I was gonna glow. Like I was and I was like now I get why I glow, I'm sweaty. Like that's why I'm glowing. Sara Frasca: Ha ha Heather Reese: It's not because it's like it's not some like specialty skin thing. It's because I'm literally overheating every five minutes. But yeah, no, I definitely I don't know how people do it. I'm I'm barely doing it, I would say. Like I'm barely barely holding it together, but you have no other option, right? Like this is what it is. You sign up to do it, you sign up to be an attorney. I love being an attorney. You know, and you know, I'm very grateful to be pregnant and and be having my baby. So I'm like, we're just gonna push through it. We're gonna do what we have to do. Tracy Hill: 'Cause you're a badass, Heather. I I mean, let me break it to ya. Heather Reese: Thank you. Thank you. Tracy Hill: But it's it's fascinating. I mean, Sara and Laura both kind of hit on it. I mean, you're in two uniquely different arenas, right? The modeling and as well as the being an attorney, right? And one is predominantly female and the other is predominantly male. What Sara Frasca: Yeah. Tracy Hill: has your journey been like as a female attorney? I mean, just share any Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Tracy Hill: and all of what that's been like for you. Heather Reese: That's like a whole spiel. You know, it's so funny. My Tracy Hill: Okay. Heather Reese: like my best friend's dad, who kind of raised me as an attorney, I always call him my dad. and I used to o like he used to always be like, attorneys are just who they are. Like don't don't sweat it, don't take anything seriously that they say to you. But it's like then you get into that world and you're like, I can't believe people say this stuff. Like I can't believe this is real. Like it's the audacity of men has definitely hit me in a new capacity. Like when I went when I became an attorney, 'cause I was like, there's no way they really talk like this. Like, it can't be real. I would say it's definitely been like an interesting experience. It's taught me a lot of patience. It prepared me for, you know, many things to have to do in the future. But I've worked with some really great men. I've worked with some with pretty crappy men. I think it's like, you know, just people in general, it just sucks because the field is so male dominated. Especially on like the plaintiff's side. Like I do plaintiffs personal injury and I can't even tell you like I've worked with maybe two women in my life. And then even that I've I haven't worked with another minority woman. So it's like, you know, I'm usually the only minority woman in a room. Tracy Hill: What do you do Laura: Okay. Tracy Hill: to navigate it? Like are you leaning into humor? Are you leaning into, you know, anything otherwise? Like how are you navigating that? Heather Reese: Yeah, I think I always try to use humor. Like I think I always try to call out behaviors in like an interesting way. Just 'cause I I just don't I don't always think that like like a an aggressive approach is the best approach. You know, my dad always told me you get more bees with honey and I've really tried hard to do that. But it is kind of annoying because, you know, you walk into things as a woman and you're never really given the benefit of the doubt. Like I'm either too mean and then I gotta be unbearable to be with. Or I'm too nice and then it's like, well then I'm a pushover. But there's like no middle ground for us. Like we're very much either in one of their divisions and I think that that's kind of really hard to navigate. So I've kind of navigated it just by, you know, laughing about it, calling it out, and like being like you didn't really say that, right? Like that can't be true. Or Tracy Hill: Yeah. Heather Reese: like a lot of the times people say things really out of pocket. I'm like, my god, that's so funny, you're the same age as my dad. The same age. Laura: Yeah. Heather Reese: Did you guys go to school together? And people Laura: Yeah. Heather Reese: get so uncomfortable when you say that. Like they're like, What? How old's your dad? I'm like, Your age. Your age. So Laura: Hmm. Sara Frasca: That's the wit in the tits, wit, and grit, my friend. That's Heather Reese: Ha ha. Sara Frasca: exactly why we have it in there. Tracy Hill: Yep, exactly. Laura: So Heather, I wanna go back to and you can like change change the names out of people, but I wanna hear when you said, do people really talk like that? What's been s kind of some of your like like almost like, you know, shit, did they really say that? Heather Reese: Yeah, I mean like I think i it's just it's very interesting being a plus size woman in this field too. Like I feel like I've been complimented by men for dressing really well for my body. And that's such a weird thing to say to someone. Like I'm like, what do you mean? Like did you expect me to like shit? Like and I've never walked up to a man that's like plus size and been like, you know what? You look really good for your body type. Like it's just a weird thing to say. It's like a back-ended compliment. And I've definitely gotten Laura: Like people Heather Reese: that more than once, yeah. Laura: my god. Sara Frasca: like to say like probably commenting on someone's appearance is probably not appropriate in the workplace, period. Tracy Hill: Yeah. Yep. Heather Reese: Agreed. I wouldn't Sara Frasca: I mean Heather Reese: say it to anyone, any gender. Like it's just not it's not a thing that I comment on. Sara Frasca: Yeah, like it I like your earrings Laura: Well I'm Sara Frasca: or your haircut's cute. Those might be okay, but like I your outfit looks good for your body. I mm mm, nope. how long have you been with the current firm that you're in? Heather Reese: Since January, not very long. Sara Frasca: Okay, okay. And do you feel like the industry is getting better? Heather Reese: I feel like it depends on who you work for. Like, Sara Frasca: Mm. Heather Reese: I really like my new boss. He's a Gen X. He's older than me. But he's like with it. And I love that. And he's always trying to be young. And he's funny. So I'm like, I think it depends. It depends on like your vibe Sara Frasca: That's an easy. Heather Reese: and what you vibe with. Tracy Hill: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Laura: Do you have other women attorneys that you your tribe, your village, whatever you want to call it, that you kind of like get together or do the old you'll never believe this, what I heard today? I mean, do you have that in your community? Heather Reese: Yeah, for sure. Like, so there's this really amazing group, that is conferences that's run by a Betty. It's called WILBYBETTY. And I've become friends with so many women from that. You've had a lot of people on from that as well. And I I love Laura: Yeah. Sara Frasca: Yeah. Heather Reese: all of them. You know what I mean? You get to connect with a lot of them and you're like, my god, like are you gonna b let me tell you what just happened? And Tracy Hill: Yeah. Heather Reese: I think that's been a really great experience, like connecting with those women through that. I think I remember the first time I went and I remember saying to Betty, like, this was the oxygen I didn't know I needed to breathe in. Like it is so profound. It is so moving. Because I go to I used to go to so many conferences all the time and I'd be like, this is cool, but like I'm just surrounded by a bunch of like older men and you know, like people that have been in the industry forever and it's it's kind of the same thing over again where they're all telling themselves that they're great. And they are like don't get me wrong, some of the you know, obviously they're really influential men are are amazing at what they do. They spend billions of dollars doing it. But what I love about her conference is that it's like you get such an individualized approach to it as well because everyone is really looking out for you. And I think that's different. That's very foreign I find in a lot of women communities. Like I think like you said, like there's a lot of women communities where women aren't helping each other. So like like the modeling or other things where I think this group, like, they genuinely want to see each other succeed. Like I've kept in touch with so many of those women, Betty included, who like I invited her to my wedding. Like she's one of my she's one of the closest people I know. Like I adore her. and just knowing that the all these women wanna see you win is like such a different experience and it's so uplifting. And it's exactly what you need when you're just like surrounded by like masculine energy in the law community all the time. It's like this is the breath of air that you need Tracy Hill: Mm-hmm. Yeah, Sara Frasca: Great. Tracy Hill: absolutely. Heather, how did you land in the personal injury field? Heather Reese: Yeah, so like I said, my best friend's dad is a p was is an attorney. He's a personal injury attorney. I first saw Tracy Hill: Yep. PI attorney. Okay. Heather Reese: him when I was fourteen do an arbitration in Philly. Tracy Hill: Okay. Heather Reese: And I was like, Wow, that's really cool. I was like, the way that you're able to communicate this story, these facts, the way that the plaintiff is like looking at you like you're the most amazing person and the way that, you know, the arbitrators heard you relay the story. communicate the story and how it was so profound. I was like, I wanna be able to do that. Like whatever you just did with words, I wanna do that. And, you know, that's I fell in love with it after that. Tracy Hill: That's wonderful. Sara Frasca: It's amazing. Laura: Have you ever wanted to switch? You know, Heather Reese: To defense. Laura: yeah. Heather Reese: You know, I think about it a lot, about being more well-rounded and getting both sides, because a lot of attorneys I do know, you know, have done both sides, but I just don't think my heart would be behind backing an insurance company. Like, you know, even though it's a it's a it's an amazing job, I obviously am friends with a lot of women who do it. I just think I don't know if I could advocate as strongly for that. Laura: Sure. Yeah. Heather Reese: to protect pockets of billionaires. You know what I mean? Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Heather Reese: Like it's so innately against the way that I think. You know, especially in in the parts of activism that I do. I think for me it's like I work really hard to promote small businesses and uplift, you know, the women community, the minority community. That to me it's just not something I could align with at this time. Tracy Hill: Mm. You love that. Yeah. Laura: Yeah. I can see I can understand that. So you were getting a little bit kind of the good shit the good work that you do aside from your professional career. Talk a little bit about that. Heather Reese: Yeah, so about I think two years ago, so I when I was going through the divorce, I said I really want to do something for Hispanic Heritage Month. I was like, What can I do? And I was like, I really want to elevate Latino owned businesses. So I wanna make videos for them, you know, telling people about their businesses, not even promoting them, 'cause for me it like, I don't know if people know that you can buy these things. Like I don't know if people know that there is a soap that, you know, is made by a Latino owned business that you could buy instead of buying a big box brand soap. Like I think for me, intentional spending is so important and in today's climate, like knowing where your money is going is such a huge form of activism that people don't see. So I reached out on Threads and I was like, Hey, you know, if anybody wants to work with me, I'd love to work with you. I thought I'd get like two, three, maybe four responses. I've partnered with over a hundred different businesses and brands now. It's been amazing. It's been the journey of a lifetime I've gotten to meet people from all over the United States, not even the United States, and it's definitely been life changing. It's been eye opening. Obviously I I expanded it last year to black and brown owned businesses, then minor then all minority owned businesses, then BIPOC businesses, then women owned businesses, 'cause for me it was like I wanna make sure I'm aligning with my community. And my community is governed by a lot of different things, right? It's not just Latinas. So for me it's just been it's been life changing, it's been amazing. You know, my friends that are attorneys got to watch it 'cause it's all on Instagram and you know, they've bought from the businesses, they're like, my god, that you know, I didn't know that they had this coffee subscription company, you know, and wherever and they were like, This is what I'm getting now, so it's been pretty amazing. Laura: So it's coming up on Hispanic Heritage Month in about a month. What good stuff do you have planned? Heather Reese: You know, I I slowed down because of the pregnancy. Yeah. Other than the Laura: Besides having a baby. Heather Reese: baby, I've slowed down. It's definitely been like very hard for me to like even make videos. Like it's crazy. I used to think I used to make videos every single day. Like I filmed every day. I was traveling to New York every weekend. And obviously after getting pregnant I like, I just I just can't do this. I am tired. so this this Hispanic Heritage Month. I'm gonna be involved in some photo shoots, you know, promoting Hispanic heritage and you know, my Peruvian background, so I'm really excited about that. But I mean, that's if I don't give birth early. If I give birth early, then I will not be in the photo shoots, obviously. But yeah, for that I'm pretty excited. You know, I didn't do anything super big this year, but next year I'm definitely gonna, you know, put on an event. Sara Frasca: That's great. I mean Yeah. And sometimes Laura: But that's some good shit. That's great. Awesome. Sara Frasca: saying no and scaling back allows you to go deeper on the things that so I think it's good that, you know, you're kind of balancing all of the amazing things and amazing work you're doing and saying no to those that don't fit. I think it's an ever evolving change. Heather Reese: Yeah, it's definitely been hard. Sara Frasca: Yeah. Especially when you're, you know, spinning plates and you get a baby with both hands and you're spinning that plate for a little while. Laura: Heather, let's fast forward to I don't know, eighteen, twenty, twenty two years and your daughter says, Mom, I think I want to be an attorney. Heather Reese: I I would be like, I'm stoked, do it. You know what I mean? Like I've definitely acted a whole thing where like my friends' dads were like, Don't be an attorney. That is the worst. it's definitely pretty challenging, but I definitely think it's super rewarding. female attorneys now make up, I think, fifty percent of incoming class, we still aren't represented in managing partner positions. You know, like we're not seen in equity partnerships. And it's just kind of like devastating to think about when you think about that 'cause you're just like, you'll take my money, but we'll never be, you know, people that get to make decisions at this point. So I think the more women the merrier that you can have and eventually they're gonna have to let us make decisions. Tracy Hill: Is that the goal, Heather? Like five, ten years from now? Like what's the path? What's the journey for you? Heather Reese: You know, I think about this lot. I don't because I remember at so many other firms they're like, Do you want to be a partner one day? And I'm like I don't know if a partner life is for me 'cause I think I have like my foot and so many my you know, my toes and so many other things and I'm just like I don't I love being an attorney. It's definitely one of my favorite things. But it's not like the only thing that, you know, identifies. I think it's usually the last thing I tell people about me. Because people always like give you that cringy look where they're like, my god. so like It's usually not the first thing I say, so I don't think it's my biggest identifier. I I mean I wanna do it, but I don't know if I ever wanna do it on like a mass scale. I think I like doing it where I do it here, you know, where I get Sara Frasca: That's it. Heather Reese: to be with somebody else and, you know they manage most of the stuff. And I just get Tracy Hill: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Heather Reese: to go to court and, you know, settle cases and, you know, do my part but Yeah, I mean I think I just wanna I wanna I wanna my life to be a little bit more than just law, but I also want my daughter to see everything about being a female attorney because I think that's been amazing, the community's been amazing. And like I said to Betty, I'm like, I'm gonna bring my daughter next year. Like it's just so important for me f to me that she sees like women in empowering positions and leadership positions and all those kind of things. Like I think my first conference that I went to pregnant was one of her New York events. And I was like, I'm so glad that, you know, even in womb my daughter gets to experience all this hear all these stories, experience all this amazing stuff is for me it's something I really wanted to see that you can kinda you can do it all. You know, you can be Laura: Well Heather Reese: a mom, a speaker, an attorney, you know, whatever else you want to do. Laura: And like they say, you know, if you can't see it, you don't think you can be it. So it's like bringing people into Tracy Hill: Mm. Yep. Heather Reese: Absolutely. Laura: the room, you know, whatever it might, whatever the room is, is great. Tracy Hill: We call that leadership, right? Because it's not just leadership in the external way. Like Laura and I are speaking at an event in October, and part of what we are sharing is that we're actual leaders within our homes as well, right? So we're showing that there are alternative ways to lead in its totality. And you know, one of the things I'm curious about, Heather, is if you've got a leadership lesson that you kind of learned along the way that really has become ingrained in part of who it is that you are and you, you know, will share it in due time when little person has arrived. Heather Reese: Yeah, my mom was really great about she was a computer scientist, in the like nineties, two thousands, when there wasn't a lot of women in that field. And she always kinda said to me, Let somebody else tell you no. You know what I mean? Like walk into a room, dominate it, and let somebody else tell you no. Don't tell yourself no. Don't ever count yourself out. And I think that was really profound in my mindset and really, you know, a big a driving point for me, right? And that's kind of how I function now where I'm just like, my mom never let any of that hold her back. Like she was o usually always one of the only women in the room. and she, you know, was like, This is what it is, this is who we are, this is what we do. So you're gonna do it. And I think that's a very important piece. I want to make sure that my daughter learns. Tracy Hill: so Heather, tell us a little bit about a we call it an shit moment. it's you know, personally or professionally, but a moment that just really puts you back on your heels, my friend. Heather Reese: you know, it's tough. I feel like I've probably had so many. Like I feel like there's there's been so many moments where I've been like snapped back to reality or been like, oof, I probably should have handled that differently. and I never try to wallow in them because I feel like they're the greatest learning lessons for me. Right? Like I don't I won't know to be in a better attorney if I don't mess up, right? And I think like a lot of people's greatest fear is messing up. But I've always said, you know, the first time I still'm like, I'm just gonna ask every question. That's what I'm gonna do. And if it's annoying, it's annoying. But I'd rather ask a question than than guess and think I know the answer and then not and find out I'm wrong. So I would say like for me professionally, there's been probably so many of my first year of practice where, you know, I was trying to be like everyone else where they're like fake it till you make it and I just was like, This can't be me. Like I have to I have to have direction, I have to have understanding, I have to have grounding. And I I went to my boss and I was like, I'm gonna ask you a billion questions, but that's just who I am, because I'm not gonna be the one that comes in and says, Sorry. I'm gonna be the one that says, Is this okay to do? which Laura: Mm-hmm. Heather Reese: I know doesn't fit everyone's personality. Like some people are very anti that and they're like, Nope, I'm gonna I'm gonna shoot it against the wall and we'll see what happens. But I just knew that wasn't conducive for the way that I think and the way that I function and was like, I'll be boring every fifteen seconds. Like I won't be able to breathe. Laura: Well. Heather Reese: I'd rather someone say to me like me say to them like, hey, is this the way proper way to do it? And then, you know, them tell me yes or no rather than me finding out because I've messed something up. 'Cause I think the first time you mess something up in law, you're kinda like, my God, like what's happening? Is my life blowing up? Am I gonna get fired? Am I gonna lose my license? Like, what's happening? And in reality, it's never something that I mean, for me, that you're gonna lose your license over or get fired over. It's just something that feels massive. But in Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Heather Reese: reality you look back and you're like Like this is not a big deal. Just felt like a big deal in the moment. Tracy Hill: Mm. Laura: I I think that's something, you know, for our listeners and we forget like the shit in that moment was it was shit, but looking back on it, it's it's okay. Like we all are gonna have shit moments we're making mistakes and it might seem a mountain of an shit moment, but like you just said, looking back on it, it was like a a mini mountain or a hill, so to speak. So Sara Frasca: Mm. Laura: I think sometimes people don't give themselves grace to be like Have shit moments. As long as it's legal, you know. That's that kind of stuff. Yeah, right. You know. Heather Reese: Yeah. Yeah. Make sure it's always legal. Yeah. Absolutely. I I Sara Frasca: Yeah. Heather Reese: think for me, like it also took like hearing different people's sayings to me where I like some people would be like, It's everybody's first time learning and living. So like Tracy Hill: Mm. Heather Reese: take give yourself grace. Like it's your first time living and it's your first time being an attorney. Like it's your first time learning. And I think that was super hard for me to wrap my brain around at first and then the more I heard it the more I was like, That's true. Like they can't expect me to know everything. This is my first year as an attorney, right? Like they understand when they hired me, they didn't think I was like an attorney of seven years. They knew I had just passed the bar. You know what I mean? So I think just always making sure you put things into perspective. Laura: Mm-hmm. Sara Frasca: All right, towards the end, we generally have a little bit of a lightning round for each of our guests. So hopefully you're okay with some questions that are gonna come at you. first one, all Heather Reese: I'm okay with it. Sara Frasca: right, good. What is a favorite book or a piece of media that you're kind of watching, listening to, reading now? Heather Reese: I don't really read a bunch, which is probably terrible. I've been watching a lot of stuff that I used to watch when I was young, you know, like Will and Grace. Laura: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Heather Reese: and I think for me, like that's been so comforting. 'Cause it's like you know the ending to shows. So whenever I'm really anxious, 'cause like in pregnancy obviously you're anxious a lot. And like nothing is in your control. and somebody once said that to me, they're like, rewatch old shows, not old shows, but rewatch shows that you watched when you were younger. because your brain will do this like comfort thing when you know the ending to something. So I've Tracy Hill: Mm. Heather Reese: absolutely been doing that for a lot of stuff. Like any shows I watch, like T V shows, movies when I was younger, I've watched The Parent Trap like ten times again. I'm like anything like that it's just like a comforting thing to see. And then I'm like, okay, everything's gonna be totally normal and fine. Sara Frasca: All right, what about a phrase or a mantra that you live by? Heather Reese: Let someone else tell you no. Tracy Hill: Hmm. Sara Frasca: I love that. All right, what's one thing that reliably grounds you when things get really heavy? Heather Reese: My husband. Sara Frasca: Hmm, that's lovely. What does he do? Heather Reese: He's a b he works for a bank. He works from home for a Sara Frasca: Okay. Heather Reese: bank, yeah. Sara Frasca: Cool. That's great. Gosh. So sounds like a good partner in life. That's Heather Reese: Very different than me. Laura: That's good. Sara Frasca: great. All right. What's one thing that few people know about you? Heather Reese: I feel like I'm such an open book, which is probably ter I mean not terrible, but hard to answer this question because I feel like I don't really hide anything. Like I'm like this is who I am, take me as I am. I would say, you know, what's pretty funny that people don't know? I love I love the medieval times restaurant. It's one of my favorite places in the world. and I just love that. Like that in the Renaissance fair people think I'm so nerdy, but I'm like, no, this is probably one of my my favorite things. And people are like, I can't be real. Sara Frasca: That's awesome. Heather Reese: Yeah. Sara Frasca: Is the medieval times in Philly? Heather Reese: No, there is one in Jersey and Maryland. So I go to the one in Maryland a lot. Sara Frasca: Okay. Cool. Heather Reese: And like I mean I went there for like every single event for like law school. Like when I graduated law school, like my birthday's in law school, and people were like, What are you doing? And I was like, Trust me. Laura: Yeah. Heather Reese: Trust me, you're gonna love it. It's amazing, it's fun, the chaos, like, I love it. Laura: Yeah. Sara Frasca: All right. cocktail when not pregnant happy hour beverage or your favorite pregnancy beverage, like a tea or coffee or whatever you're drinking. Heather Reese: my favorite cocktail beverage is probably a Long Island. Sara Frasca: Okay, fun. Laura: Nice. You don't mess around. Sara Frasca: Yeah. Heather Reese: I don't. I absolutely don't. Like it that's definitely my go to. My absolute go to. Sara Frasca: That's great. That's great. Okay, anything else you want to impart our listeners with from your story or like one last nugget for them? Heather Reese: I would just say like shoot your shot. Keep always going at it. You know, you'll never know. You could just be, you know, a plus size lawyer from Philadelphia walking a runway in New York. You never know. So it's you know, Laura: Mm. Heather Reese: it's been an amazing journey. I would say just always be true to yourself too. Like your tribe will find you. Authenticity is like key. You know, all the key things everyone always says, I stand by them. I think that they're amazing. Sara Frasca: That's it for today's episode of Tits, Wit and Grit, where bold women, big ideas, and a little bit of fearless attitude collide. Tracy Laskos: If today's conversation sparked something for you, share it with someone who needs it and make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss what's coming next. Laura Raether: Remember, show up with confidence, trust your wit, and never underestimate the power of grit. See you next time.