Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Question Time - Balancing Life and Creating Joy with Devi Brown

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Question Time - Balancing Life and Creating Joy with Devi Brown · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

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Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots to keep
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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
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Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ants. This
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Speaker 1: is And the ancestors told me that you would come
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Speaker 1: to give wisdom thousands. They said you would come Droppings
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Speaker 1: Dropping the Gym. Hey, Welcome back to another episode of
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Speaker 1: The Dropping Gym's podcast. As always, I'm your host Stevie Brown. So,
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Speaker 1: first of all, guys, I am so sorry for leaving
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Speaker 1: you hanging the last couple of weeks. I took the
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Speaker 1: last show week off to celebrate my birthday. Shout out
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Speaker 1: to my fellow gym and as and I enjoyed a
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Speaker 1: quick trip to Palm Springs. Side note too, I love
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Speaker 1: getting to the desert every chance that I can get.
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Speaker 1: I feel really recharged by that dry heat and that
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Speaker 1: desert landscape. It's really like something about the harsh landscape
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Speaker 1: and the resilience of its natural inhabitants that really speaks
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Speaker 1: to me, and it makes me feel so centered and alive.
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Speaker 1: I really see myself in that, you know, when I
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Speaker 1: see power, beauty and pain and things, I see myself.
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Speaker 1: It's why I love looking at fire that sounds not right,
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Speaker 1: or rough waves, or you know, the spikes on a cactus.
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Speaker 1: I'm really drawn to and attracted to the survival in
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Speaker 1: it all. But now I'm back to real life, and
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Speaker 1: I decided to do this week a little bit differently.
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Speaker 1: One today turned out to be crazy. Um, the universe
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Speaker 1: was doing the most. A fire started in my kitchen
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Speaker 1: as I was getting ready to go record this podcast.
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Speaker 1: I was making like some Keto bread on parchment paper,
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Speaker 1: and the cart parchment paper cup fire and we had
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Speaker 1: a good fire extinguisher. It was a lot then. Um,
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Speaker 1: the little studio set up I have at my house
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Speaker 1: that the ranch. Uh. I went outside to record and
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Speaker 1: my computer overheated. So guess where I am right now
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Speaker 1: doing the show. I have a makeshift mike and a
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Speaker 1: laptop and I'm sitting in my bathroom. Um. And I
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Speaker 1: only tell you that because just no, I really try
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Speaker 1: to make this episode happen, so you guys would not
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Speaker 1: keep yelling at me and my d M s. And also, um,
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Speaker 1: you know, you do what you gotta do wherever you can. Plus,
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Speaker 1: just so you know, in case audio is a little
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Speaker 1: bit off, I want you all to know why because
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Speaker 1: coming from FM radio, audio is super important to me.
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Speaker 1: So I'm in a bathroom today. Though back to the episode,
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Speaker 1: We're going to do an extra special Q and A episode,
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Speaker 1: So if you follow me on I G you saw
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Speaker 1: that on my stories I solicited y'all for some questions
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Speaker 1: and I ended up getting a ton of great and
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Speaker 1: insightful ones to go through. So if you shot me
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Speaker 1: a question and you don't hear it mentioned here today though,
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Speaker 1: just know that there were a lot um and I'm
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Speaker 1: probably gonna be able to unpack more of them in
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Speaker 1: future episodes. But because I love spontaneity and synchronicity, I
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Speaker 1: wanted to try to give this Q and A the
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Speaker 1: most authentic thoughts and reactions possible, So I picked out
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Speaker 1: of all the questions I got, I picked a bunch
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Speaker 1: and I actually put them all together in a bowl
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Speaker 1: folded up. So I'm gonna pick it out and read it,
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Speaker 1: and you'll hear it as I hear it. Okay, So
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Speaker 1: here we go special Q and A episode of The
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Speaker 1: Dropping Gym's podcast. Here's my bowl. First question, Oh, okay,
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Speaker 1: this question comes from Masterpiece and Progress, and the question
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Speaker 1: is how do I function an extremely toxic work environment
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Speaker 1: when leaving isn't an option right now? I love this question, um,
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Speaker 1: and it's so relatable because you know, in this day
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Speaker 1: and age, everyone is talking about quit your job and
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Speaker 1: you know, find your happiness or follow your bliss, you know,
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Speaker 1: quit your job and find your passion and start a business.
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Speaker 1: And that is quite honestly not realistic for many many people.
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Speaker 1: I sit in that, and I honor that, and I
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Speaker 1: just want to say that I'm sorry, um, that you're
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Speaker 1: experiencing some difficulty at work, especially considering we typically spend
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Speaker 1: more of our lives at work than we do at home,
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Speaker 1: or than we do around people that care about us
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Speaker 1: or doing things that you know, set our souls on fire,
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Speaker 1: so that can be a lot. I had an experience,
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Speaker 1: uh this is probably close to ten years ago at
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Speaker 1: one of the first radio gigs that I had, and
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Speaker 1: life got really hard. You know. It started out as
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Speaker 1: being this incredible gig and opportunity, and just by the
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Speaker 1: nature of where I worked in the way, you know,
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Speaker 1: some some of the work politics went down in that building,
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Speaker 1: and you know, the building switched ownership many many times.
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Speaker 1: It went from being like my dream job to a nightmare.
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Speaker 1: And I remember there was a couple of months before
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Speaker 1: I decided to quit that I would like cry in
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Speaker 1: my car every morning. Every morning, I would get to
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Speaker 1: the parking lot and I would cry in my car
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Speaker 1: about facing this day around a lot of toxic energy,
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Speaker 1: and I would cry for a few minutes. I would
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Speaker 1: wipe my face and I would go in the build thing.
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Speaker 1: I would do the best that I could, but it
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Speaker 1: was extremely hard. So what I what I would share
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Speaker 1: with you is look at the larger context. This moment,
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Speaker 1: I'm sure is highly uncomfortable, and I'm sure you're sacrificing
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Speaker 1: in many different ways and more than likely having to
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Speaker 1: minimize yourself in many different ways. But it's really important
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Speaker 1: that women we're in a difficult space, that we take
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Speaker 1: time to zoom out. You know. It's like, imagine this
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Speaker 1: right now. Imagine you had a polaroid in your hand,
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Speaker 1: like a printed out picture, and you held it right
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Speaker 1: up against your eye. You're probably seeing, you know, whatever
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Speaker 1: color pixelation. You know, you're just seeing like blue or
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Speaker 1: black or white. And then as you slowly move that
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Speaker 1: photograph farther and farther away from that eye, and maybe
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Speaker 1: now you're holding it at arm's length away from you,
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Speaker 1: you can see the grander picture. You can see everything
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Speaker 1: that that picture entails. And it's like that, when we
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Speaker 1: are faced with discomfort that we don't really have control
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Speaker 1: over in our lives, you can just control what you
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Speaker 1: can control and to not attend times that just means
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Speaker 1: you can control how you feel and what your reactions are.
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Speaker 1: So I would really strongly suggest, like in this question,
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Speaker 1: you said that right now, leaving isn't an option, So
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Speaker 1: make a plan, you know, have something to look forward to.
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Speaker 1: You don't like where you are right now, but what
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Speaker 1: are you working towards? You know, in moments like this,
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Speaker 1: like whenever I'm under a lot of stress. I really
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Speaker 1: force myself to dig into me and find what is
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Speaker 1: it that's triggering me and how can I bring less
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Speaker 1: suffering to myself. Again, I can't control anything happening in
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Speaker 1: the world. I can't control anybody's bad day or what
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Speaker 1: they're trying to project onto me because of it. But
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Speaker 1: I can't always control how I feel about myself and
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Speaker 1: my understanding of what my destiny is. So without knowing
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Speaker 1: to too many other details, I would just really recommend
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Speaker 1: that next time you have a free afternoon, really prepare
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Speaker 1: for war. You know, build your armor, get get specific
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Speaker 1: things together to grow your spirit so that you're protected
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Speaker 1: when you go into that toxic space. Recently, what I did,
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Speaker 1: I'm kind of like in a weird space myself with
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Speaker 1: a couple of things in my life, and I just
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Speaker 1: took that afternoon and I found all brand new affirmations
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Speaker 1: that really speak to me at this moment in my life,
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Speaker 1: and I wrote them out and I take them up
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Speaker 1: exactly where I needed to see them. You know, I
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Speaker 1: practiced like a lot of self compassion. Um. I started
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Speaker 1: like doing some journaling, I started, you know, doing some
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Speaker 1: breathing techniques. I make sure that I meditate every day,
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Speaker 1: you know, so if your work environment is toxic, the
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Speaker 1: best thing that you can do for yourself in this
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Speaker 1: moment is really define, excuse me, refine whatever your spiritual
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Speaker 1: practice is. So make sure that you are carving out
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Speaker 1: twenty to forty minutes a day wherever you can fit
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Speaker 1: it in. Wake up earlier if you need to carve
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Speaker 1: out that time, and fill yourself with love and give
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Speaker 1: yourself all the compassion that you are not getting at work,
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Speaker 1: so that you can start your day already full and
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Speaker 1: you're not operating out of a deficit. So again, if
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Speaker 1: nothing else, you know, you mentioned that again, leaving isn't
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Speaker 1: an option right now. That's fine, But what can you
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Speaker 1: do in your life and in your free time to
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Speaker 1: make sure that your spirit and heart is full, that
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Speaker 1: you are getting the adequate amount of love and celebration
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Speaker 1: that you deserve and need so that anytime you're at
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Speaker 1: work and you're not feeling it, you have a reserve
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Speaker 1: to pull from. So I hope that answers your questions.
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Speaker 1: I know, um I didn't have too many details on
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Speaker 1: at but the answer is kind of the same. Even
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Speaker 1: if you're just facing challenges in life in general. You've
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Speaker 1: got to get prepared to go to war, and you've
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Speaker 1: got to love on yourself and give yourself the compassion
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Speaker 1: that you're not getting other places, and give yourself the
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Speaker 1: rewarding that you're not. Also think of the bigger plan.
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Speaker 1: You can't leave right now, but at some point you can,
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Speaker 1: so start plotting and planning, you know, start visualizing what
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Speaker 1: your life will be like at an environment that feels better. Okay,
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Speaker 1: next question, Oh, okay, this one comes from frucous ye list.
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Speaker 1: I think I'm saying that right. Uh. The question is
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Speaker 1: how do you balance spirituality and materialism? Can I have
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Speaker 1: nice things and be a humble servant? That's a great
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Speaker 1: question to uh. You know, I think a lot of
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Speaker 1: it depends on what your motivation is. You know a
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Speaker 1: lot of people use materialism and they use like celebration
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Speaker 1: of things to really give themselves a false sense of
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Speaker 1: self love and also to try to control the perception
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Speaker 1: that other people have of you, or to get other
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Speaker 1: people to see value in you through things. So if
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Speaker 1: that's your motivation, no, you can't have both. You can't
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Speaker 1: have the spirituality and the materialism because they're in direct
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Speaker 1: contrast with one another. UM. You know, I like nice things.
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Speaker 1: I love you know, nice things. I like having nice
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Speaker 1: sheets on my bed. I like using you know, good
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Speaker 1: hair products. I like, um, you know all the trappings
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Speaker 1: that come with that. Um. But I think for me,
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Speaker 1: it's definitely not a must for me to have to
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Speaker 1: feel good about myself. You could drop me in you know,
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Speaker 1: often the desert with secondhand, third hand, fitth hand clothes,
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Speaker 1: and I'm still going to feel good about who i
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Speaker 1: am because that's just the point that I've worked towards
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Speaker 1: in my life right now, So I think, UM, you
12:05
Speaker 1: can absolutely have bolth it's just really important to gut
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Speaker 1: check with yourself of why are you desiring these items
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Speaker 1: and also are you being gluttonous with it? Like for me,
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Speaker 1: I know when I'm out of alignment and I'm out
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Speaker 1: of balance, I can feel it because I'm buying frivolous
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Speaker 1: things I don't need, Like I'm on Amazon every time
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Speaker 1: I think of something, buying whatever it is and then
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Speaker 1: I don't even end up using it. Or I get
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Speaker 1: really stressed out in traffic and I'm cussing people out
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Speaker 1: more often than I normally do. Um, or I'm getting
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Speaker 1: irritated at the smallest things while I'm in traffic. You know, those,
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Speaker 1: to me are what I've recognized to be my triggers
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Speaker 1: of when I am not in balanced and when I
12:46
Speaker 1: am not in alignment. So when I start to notice
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Speaker 1: those patterns, when I start to notice that I'm like
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Speaker 1: aimlessly scrolling on guilt for no reason or you know
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Speaker 1: whatever whatever these shopping apps and websites are. If I'm
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Speaker 1: doing that really for for no reason, not because I
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Speaker 1: need anything or really even want anything, um, then I
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Speaker 1: know I'm just out of balance, and and I work
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Speaker 1: to just really fill in my spiritual practice a lot
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Speaker 1: more UM and check in with myself about what I'm feeling.
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Speaker 1: So I say that to say, you know, I do
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Speaker 1: think sometimes in this culture where we're at right now,
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Speaker 1: people go really over the top with things. None of
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Speaker 1: this stuff really matters, you know, So don'cle broke trying
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Speaker 1: to keep up with the joneses, or don't give your
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Speaker 1: last to wear something that now you put it on
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Speaker 1: Instagram and you're not gonna wear it again. You know,
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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't do that for myself. I think
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Speaker 1: that there is so much beauty in humility. I think
13:39
Speaker 1: there's so much beauty in not flossing all the things
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Speaker 1: that you have, you know, having nice things that you enjoy,
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Speaker 1: but not posting all of them. Um. So I hope
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Speaker 1: that helps. But I do think I don't think that
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Speaker 1: you are not in alignment with God because you like
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Speaker 1: the finer things. I just think it is important to
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Speaker 1: go check on what your motivation is for getting them.
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Speaker 1: Do you really need it? Is there something more impactful
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Speaker 1: you could be doing with that money? Um, because a
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Speaker 1: lot of a lot of this to a lot of
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Speaker 1: the stuff that we even consider to be finer things
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Speaker 1: or deem as you know, the goal. Um, it's just
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Speaker 1: capitalism that made us think we want that anyway. It's
14:21
Speaker 1: just well at photography, this uh faue rarity, you know,
14:26
Speaker 1: then making it seem like something is really rare, when
14:29
Speaker 1: in actuality they could produce as much of it as
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Speaker 1: they want, you know, see, is it? Is it brainwashing?
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Speaker 1: Is it I'm out of balance? Or is it hey
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Speaker 1: I really like this and I deserve it. If it's
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Speaker 1: the latter, then do it get it live? Okay. Next question, Okay,
14:46
Speaker 1: this question is from Love is Loving Me. How did
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Speaker 1: you attract your husband and marriage? Did you use crystals? Interesting,
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Speaker 1: No girl, No, UM, I'm sure that's the question. Actually
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Speaker 1: a lot of people have, especially as they start moving
15:06
Speaker 1: around the spaces and we talk to people so much
15:09
Speaker 1: about you know, vision boarding and and you know, speaking
15:12
Speaker 1: things that they already exist and manifesting and all of
15:15
Speaker 1: that stuff. In my situation, no, UM, I don't necessarily
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Speaker 1: firsthand know anybody that has done that. UM. I don't
15:27
Speaker 1: even think even now, with my understanding of a lot
15:30
Speaker 1: of the stuff in the metaphysics world, I don't think
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Speaker 1: I would ever do that because my my go to
15:36
Speaker 1: is always just work on me, fix me, and everything
15:41
Speaker 1: that I deserve and need will come my way. You know,
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Speaker 1: I think I've done a lot of self work on myself,
15:48
Speaker 1: and I'm constantly growing and learning and changing and evolving, surrendering, expressing,
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Speaker 1: kindness and compassion. So for me, I know love is
15:57
Speaker 1: always head of my way. Like I I truly oh
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Speaker 1: and believe that I don't have to work hard for
16:02
Speaker 1: love because I'm filling myself with all the love that
16:05
Speaker 1: I need and deserve, and I'm doing good to other people,
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Speaker 1: and so love will always find me and be attracted
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Speaker 1: to me. Um, and whatever package it comes. But so
16:16
Speaker 1: specifically for my husband in my marriage. I'll just give
16:20
Speaker 1: you guys this quick little backstory for those that aren't
16:23
Speaker 1: too familiar with my story. UM, so this month actually
16:28
Speaker 1: will be our I think seventh year married. Yeah, our
16:34
Speaker 1: seventh year wedding anniversary. And my husband and I initially
16:38
Speaker 1: met because I was doing radio in l A. I
16:41
Speaker 1: quit that job and I ended up taking a job
16:45
Speaker 1: in Houston at a radio station in Houston, and I
16:48
Speaker 1: moved across the country by myself and I lived there
16:51
Speaker 1: for a little under a year, so maybe like ten
16:54
Speaker 1: eleven months. And at that time, he was living in Houston,
16:58
Speaker 1: and he used to listen to the radio and he
17:02
Speaker 1: heard my voice. And this is his telling. I'm not
17:05
Speaker 1: trying to sound, you know, super extra, but he said
17:08
Speaker 1: he heard my voice. He loved my voice. That spoke
17:11
Speaker 1: to him. So he googled me and he looked me
17:13
Speaker 1: up and then he actually started following me on Twitter. Um,
17:17
Speaker 1: I don't think we had Instagram then, I'm not sure,
17:19
Speaker 1: but he started following me on Twitter and he started
17:21
Speaker 1: interacting with me. And at that time, I I believe
17:25
Speaker 1: I was having a birthday party and he showed about
17:28
Speaker 1: my birthday party to meet me in person, and believe
17:31
Speaker 1: it or not, his first words to me were, Hey,
17:34
Speaker 1: I follow you on Twitter. So that's kind of how
17:40
Speaker 1: we met, UM, and our relationship happened really really fast.
17:44
Speaker 1: I gotta be fully honest with you guys and tell
17:46
Speaker 1: you I never wanted to or cared about getting married. UM.
17:51
Speaker 1: Not not to say that I never thought that I would.
17:54
Speaker 1: It just definitely was not a goal of mine. It
17:57
Speaker 1: truly wasn't even a thought of mine. I didn't even
17:59
Speaker 1: visit lies being married. And I don't know if that's because,
18:03
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of people closest in my life
18:06
Speaker 1: and my family were unmarried women, or if it's just
18:09
Speaker 1: because you know, I think we were. I think I
18:12
Speaker 1: was twenty five at the time. It just wasn't of
18:15
Speaker 1: importance to me at all. I was one fully focused
18:18
Speaker 1: on my career. But life hit me fast, you know,
18:21
Speaker 1: and he he knew really fast, which is what kind
18:24
Speaker 1: of led me to search myself about what were the
18:28
Speaker 1: walls that I was putting up around love. At the time.
18:32
Speaker 1: I didn't want a relationship, UM. I was really super
18:36
Speaker 1: enjoying the single life and I had just actually um
18:42
Speaker 1: taken two jobs in New York, so I wasn't. At
18:45
Speaker 1: the time that I met him. I was actually in
18:47
Speaker 1: the process of moving from Houston to New York City,
18:51
Speaker 1: UH to work at Serious x M and also MTV.
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Speaker 1: So when we met, I think we met you know,
18:58
Speaker 1: he actually he was really shy around me at first.
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Speaker 1: Then he eventually asked for my number and we went
19:06
Speaker 1: on a date, and then we just really clicked and connected.
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Speaker 1: And you know, two weeks in he had, you know,
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Speaker 1: a lot of knowingness of what he wanted. So two
19:18
Speaker 1: weeks into us hanging out, he told me he loved me.
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Speaker 1: That scared me at first. You know, at first I
19:24
Speaker 1: just responded and said thank you, because I didn't know
19:27
Speaker 1: what to say. I didn't know that I felt that
19:29
Speaker 1: just yet. You know, things are moving really fast for me.
19:32
Speaker 1: And then maybe a month into us hanging out, it
19:36
Speaker 1: was time for me to move, and so I moved
19:38
Speaker 1: to New York and and he was just like, listen, girl,
19:41
Speaker 1: like we go together. You can move to New York,
19:44
Speaker 1: but we are together and work exprusive And you know
19:47
Speaker 1: when I ended up falling in love and he ended
19:49
Speaker 1: up asking me to marry him maybe three months after
19:52
Speaker 1: we started dating. And then flash forward a few more
19:56
Speaker 1: months we ended up married. So life happened really really fast.
19:59
Speaker 1: I would not reck in moving that fast to anybody, um,
20:03
Speaker 1: but you know, it worked out for us at that time.
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Speaker 1: So yeah, I wasn't I wasn't consumed with the thought
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Speaker 1: of being in a relationship, getting married, any of that.
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Speaker 1: When I tell you, meeting him caught me so off
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Speaker 1: guard and by surprise and was truly not a part
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Speaker 1: of my life's plan and what I was envisioning for myself.
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Speaker 1: So I would just say, you know, definitely do do
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Speaker 1: whatever you're called to. If you do want to build
20:31
Speaker 1: the vision board with you know, all the attributes of
20:34
Speaker 1: the person you want to tract to you, that's dope.
20:36
Speaker 1: Do it if you want to, you know, do maybe
20:39
Speaker 1: a crystal grid or just put that energy into the
20:42
Speaker 1: universe to bring that love and bring that you know,
20:46
Speaker 1: partner into your life. I say, do it, but do
20:50
Speaker 1: not forget the biggest step, which is making sure that
20:52
Speaker 1: you feel good about yourself, that you love your life,
20:55
Speaker 1: that you have begun to tap in to any of
21:00
Speaker 1: the unresolved issues that you have carried with you before
21:04
Speaker 1: you meet this person. Because when you have a partner
21:07
Speaker 1: and you have a relationship especially in a marriage. You're
21:11
Speaker 1: each other's mirrors and one another's dysfunctions are going to
21:15
Speaker 1: fall on top of the other person. So you just
21:19
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you are prepared for the
21:22
Speaker 1: real work that being in a significant relationship really entails. Okay,
21:29
Speaker 1: let's see. Okay, I like this question. Star asked me,
21:35
Speaker 1: how do you stay positive when you are catching God's fades?
21:41
Speaker 1: I think I said that in my episode where Nita Parker,
21:45
Speaker 1: I was like, God, stay trying to catch my fade? Yeah, okay,
21:50
Speaker 1: how to stay positive when you feel like you are
21:53
Speaker 1: catching God's face. So for me, one of the biggest
21:59
Speaker 1: less and I have learned with my lifetime thus far,
22:03
Speaker 1: it's that I have had to completely strip myself of
22:07
Speaker 1: the thought or belief that life is fair. And I've
22:12
Speaker 1: had to completely strip myself of the thought or belief
22:16
Speaker 1: that by me just being a good person, good things
22:19
Speaker 1: would happen to me, because it's just not true. It's
22:22
Speaker 1: not how life works, is not how the universe works.
22:25
Speaker 1: You know, when you're choosing to be a good person,
22:28
Speaker 1: when you're choosing to grow as a person, you are
22:30
Speaker 1: doing that for you, but it doesn't necessarily change the
22:34
Speaker 1: obstacles and challenges that you're going to face because God,
22:38
Speaker 1: the universe has its own idea of what you need
22:41
Speaker 1: to know and what you need to experience. I've also
22:44
Speaker 1: learned that sometimes it's unfair, but some of us are
22:48
Speaker 1: the cautionary tale sometimes in situations you know, just as
22:53
Speaker 1: much as some of us are going to be the
22:55
Speaker 1: example and the inspirational you know, point for other people
22:59
Speaker 1: to look at. So when I stop looking at life
23:02
Speaker 1: as needing to be fair or needing to have justice
23:05
Speaker 1: for perceived harms that have been done to me or
23:08
Speaker 1: challenges that I'm facing, it freed me up so much.
23:12
Speaker 1: And I can honestly tell you right now, like fully
23:15
Speaker 1: with all of my soul, I need you to know
23:18
Speaker 1: my life. Even though I am doing the work and
23:22
Speaker 1: I'm on my journey, my life is not easy. I
23:26
Speaker 1: have a lot going on um and I feel like
23:31
Speaker 1: every time I get over one one thing, you know,
23:34
Speaker 1: some new challenge comes that I have to face. But
23:37
Speaker 1: something I am committed to is my personal growth and
23:43
Speaker 1: not adding on to my suffering. If I'm already very
23:47
Speaker 1: clear that life is, by nature of how it's designed,
23:51
Speaker 1: going to continuously present me with challenges, I do as
23:55
Speaker 1: much as I can to limit my own self imposed
23:58
Speaker 1: challenges and my own and self imposed suffering. So I
24:02
Speaker 1: work really hard on having peace, on really understanding and
24:06
Speaker 1: knowing who I am, what I stand for, what I
24:08
Speaker 1: believe in, how I act, you know, making good choices,
24:13
Speaker 1: being kind, being compassionate. I give that so much weight
24:17
Speaker 1: in my life because that's the way that I honor myself.
24:20
Speaker 1: And that's that's the way that I build up a
24:22
Speaker 1: tolerance for all the other journeys and adventures you're gonna
24:27
Speaker 1: be on through this winding, twisty road while we're here
24:31
Speaker 1: on earth. UM. So that's what that's what allows me
24:34
Speaker 1: to stay positive even when difficult things are happening to me.
24:39
Speaker 1: I know who I am, you know, um, and you
24:43
Speaker 1: would be really, really really hard pressed to be able
24:49
Speaker 1: to get me out of my character. You don't, no
24:52
Speaker 1: matter who you are, no matter what you try to do,
24:55
Speaker 1: no matter what harm is heading my way, I know
24:58
Speaker 1: ultimately everything is survivable and I'm protected, and I really,
25:04
Speaker 1: even with this challenge, is love my life, and I
25:08
Speaker 1: love who I have fought to become, who I've worked
25:12
Speaker 1: really hard to be. So that's where I drawed my
25:15
Speaker 1: positivity from. I draw my positivity from the fact that
25:20
Speaker 1: I've learned that pretty much everything is survivable. I've also
25:24
Speaker 1: learned how to tap into my own piece. I don't
25:27
Speaker 1: require you know that, I don't require the validation of
25:31
Speaker 1: other people. I don't require life to be fair or
25:36
Speaker 1: for it to make sense for me to enjoy it.
25:40
Speaker 1: If that makes sense. Okay, We've got a few more.
25:45
Speaker 1: This one comes from love mss T Yates. I think
25:50
Speaker 1: I said that right. How do you manage your work
25:52
Speaker 1: life and personal life so effortlessly? Well, first of all,
25:58
Speaker 1: it's not effortlessly, um, you know, and and I know
26:03
Speaker 1: I say this all this time. You guys might get
26:04
Speaker 1: sick of hearing this from me. But I just give
26:07
Speaker 1: life the best that I am capable of in each moment,
26:11
Speaker 1: which is to say that not every moment is going
26:13
Speaker 1: to be the same. And I'm not chasing perfection. I
26:18
Speaker 1: don't need an idea of perfection to be happy or
26:22
Speaker 1: to get the job done. So that's what has really
26:25
Speaker 1: aided me, especially in the last couple of years, of
26:27
Speaker 1: my growth and of my life, so my work life,
26:30
Speaker 1: my personal life. Every day I just do the best
26:34
Speaker 1: that I can. Some days that means I am killing
26:38
Speaker 1: it professionally. I'm knocking out a bunch of stuff, and
26:42
Speaker 1: I'm making all the plans and I'm getting all the
26:44
Speaker 1: gigs and opportunities. Um. But then that also means that
26:48
Speaker 1: I'm going to have less time for my family, and
26:50
Speaker 1: it means that I'm probably going to be pretty conflicted,
26:52
Speaker 1: missing you know, certain moments throughout the day with my
26:57
Speaker 1: beautiful baby boy, quest or not get in enough you know,
27:00
Speaker 1: quality time with my partner, or not being able to
27:03
Speaker 1: be the rock star family member to other people or
27:06
Speaker 1: my friends. Right, But it's given a take. I can't
27:09
Speaker 1: be all things to everybody, So I just try to
27:11
Speaker 1: be the most that I can be to me and
27:14
Speaker 1: for me, and that's pretty much it. You know, there's
27:18
Speaker 1: gonna be people that say that she's you know, she's
27:21
Speaker 1: not there for me enough, and there's some people that
27:23
Speaker 1: will say she's there for me every chance you know
27:26
Speaker 1: she has, and they're both probably right. All I can
27:30
Speaker 1: say is that I just do my best and I
27:33
Speaker 1: try not to get too clouded by other people's desires
27:37
Speaker 1: of me, perceptions of me, or projections on me. I
27:42
Speaker 1: just try to be the most I can be for me.
27:46
Speaker 1: Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I failed, but I try again.
27:51
Speaker 1: All right, let's see tell us about your experience at
27:55
Speaker 1: Deepoc Choper's retreat. That is from Tree Nelly. I of
28:00
Speaker 1: that I got this question. I think I'm actually gonna
28:03
Speaker 1: try to put up on my website carmoblast dot com
28:06
Speaker 1: like a little guide for people and how to pick
28:09
Speaker 1: the right retreat for you. Retreat culture has become really
28:13
Speaker 1: really big in the communities people of color right now.
28:17
Speaker 1: Thank god. I'm so happy they have. But retreating is
28:21
Speaker 1: something that I mean has been done for I don't know,
28:25
Speaker 1: the last hundred years, maybe more. It's been done for
28:28
Speaker 1: a long time and other communities and tapping into Deepak
28:32
Speaker 1: Chopper's retreat is something that absolutely changed my life. UM.
28:35
Speaker 1: If anyone's interested in going by the way, you can
28:38
Speaker 1: go on Chopra Center dot com. They offer a bunch
28:40
Speaker 1: of different types of retreats throughout the year. Probably in
28:44
Speaker 1: the last maybe eight nine years, I've gone on probably
28:51
Speaker 1: going on eight with Deepak. And I also did his
28:56
Speaker 1: teacher's training. That's where I got certified to teach mortal
29:00
Speaker 1: Sound meditation, which is his personal blend of meditation. UM.
29:05
Speaker 1: And that was like I studied for about a year
29:07
Speaker 1: for that, and then we did a week long intensive
29:11
Speaker 1: of learning. But my my experience there was absolutely life changing.
29:16
Speaker 1: The very first retreat that I have ever done was
29:19
Speaker 1: called Perfect Health and it's offered by the Chopper Center.
29:22
Speaker 1: It's a ten day Pancha Karma retreat. It's all about
29:26
Speaker 1: finding Yourudosha Kappa pita vada. Yeah, and it um. It's
29:33
Speaker 1: all about like really resetting your body, mind and soul.
29:36
Speaker 1: Everything that you eat is I your Vedic. You do
29:39
Speaker 1: a lot of spa treatments that are I your Vedic,
29:41
Speaker 1: and learned how to meditate there. It was It changed
29:44
Speaker 1: my whole life. For ten days, I didn't use my phone,
29:47
Speaker 1: I didn't check email, I didn't talk to anybody that
29:51
Speaker 1: wasn't part of the program. I've also done silent programs
29:54
Speaker 1: where you live and meditate in silence for several days.
29:58
Speaker 1: I've done ret reachs that are, you know, in the
30:01
Speaker 1: middle of the mountains of Sedona, out of nowhere. I'm
30:05
Speaker 1: really really into that stuff, and I think that it's
30:08
Speaker 1: super important that if you're looking to be a part
30:10
Speaker 1: of a of a retreat, you do a lot of
30:12
Speaker 1: research because now especially that mindfulness self care retreating has
30:18
Speaker 1: become so on trend and so popular. You could just
30:24
Speaker 1: be involved in someone else's cash grab, but not necessarily
30:28
Speaker 1: getting the soul nourishment that you need or deserve. So
30:33
Speaker 1: do do a lot of investigation in this um. There's
30:37
Speaker 1: a lot of programs out there. There's the Omega Institute
30:40
Speaker 1: and Upstate New York they do a lot of incredible,
30:43
Speaker 1: beautiful programs. There's obviously the Chopper Center, which right now
30:47
Speaker 1: is based in Carlsbad at La Costa Resort Um. There's
30:51
Speaker 1: many there's like a couple in Utah once in other countries,
30:55
Speaker 1: Costa Rica, Bali, lots of different ones. And you know,
31:00
Speaker 1: some of the best ones, to be honest, are not
31:02
Speaker 1: going to have the best photos that they're not going
31:06
Speaker 1: to have the most up to date website, they're not
31:08
Speaker 1: going to have, you know, the great marketing campaign because
31:11
Speaker 1: they're really just committed to doing the work. So they're
31:14
Speaker 1: bare bones about how they present themselves and believe that
31:17
Speaker 1: you know, you'll find them when you're ready. So ask
31:20
Speaker 1: a lot of questions, look look up a lot of things, um,
31:24
Speaker 1: and don't just go with whatever looks shiny or very
31:27
Speaker 1: well presented. Really go with what is the day to
31:31
Speaker 1: day curriculum? What are we there to learn? And do
31:34
Speaker 1: you know the first one that I did every single day.
31:38
Speaker 1: We were learning how to meditate, we were in lectures,
31:42
Speaker 1: we were doing things that were very laid out to
31:49
Speaker 1: invoke certain things in us. So call the numbers, ask
31:54
Speaker 1: the questions. Don't just pay the money without knowing what
31:57
Speaker 1: you're getting into, because if you're really committed to investing
31:59
Speaker 1: your in yourself in this way, really important that you
32:02
Speaker 1: maximize that, especially in these very transformational spaces. If you
32:08
Speaker 1: have the wrong experience, it could really hinder your growth
32:11
Speaker 1: and really just turn you away from from doing some
32:15
Speaker 1: of this self work. But I highly recommend the Chopper
32:18
Speaker 1: Center to be one with you. It is pricey um.
32:23
Speaker 1: Some of them are more expensive than others. The amount
32:25
Speaker 1: of money does not dictate what the experience is going
32:28
Speaker 1: to be, though, So do your work, do your research. Okay,
32:32
Speaker 1: this is the last question. Sean to star pragmatic teachings
32:40
Speaker 1: for inner joy. You always glow. That's my daily goal.
32:43
Speaker 1: But hard to attain Number one. Thank you, Number two.
32:48
Speaker 1: I hear you, girl, It's hard for all of us.
32:52
Speaker 1: It truly is. Nothing is this perceived version of effortless.
32:58
Speaker 1: You know, you just get to a point where you
33:00
Speaker 1: get in a true flow with yourself. And it's not
33:03
Speaker 1: that it's effortless, because you truly are. You know, I'm
33:06
Speaker 1: not rocked or rattled really by much, but it's because
33:10
Speaker 1: I've done so much work to get to that point
33:13
Speaker 1: and I continue to do the daily investment of you know,
33:18
Speaker 1: the spiritual practices and the personal development. That's the biggest part.
33:22
Speaker 1: You can't start it and then think, Okay, I've reached
33:25
Speaker 1: I've learned all there is to learn, and then stop
33:28
Speaker 1: it because you'll forget, you'll lose it. You have to
33:32
Speaker 1: be committed to making this a part of your everyday life.
33:35
Speaker 1: But so teach these techniques, excuse me, and teachings for
33:39
Speaker 1: inner joy this year, I'm super committed to having more
33:42
Speaker 1: joy in my life. That has been an intention I
33:45
Speaker 1: said at the top of the year. And then also
33:47
Speaker 1: on my birthday, I reset intentions and I redo like
33:51
Speaker 1: all of my affirmations and my you know, tweaking of
33:54
Speaker 1: my practices because I kind of look at my birthday
33:57
Speaker 1: as my personal new year. So I give it that
34:00
Speaker 1: same intention um and attention that you would for the
34:03
Speaker 1: new year. But techniques for inner joy. Look for moments
34:09
Speaker 1: of tiny joy and your every day. That has been
34:12
Speaker 1: revolutionary for me right now, just finding all of the
34:16
Speaker 1: beauty and all of the little things, you know, I
34:20
Speaker 1: find that, Like there are moments that I'm outside playing
34:23
Speaker 1: with my kid and the breeze hits my face in
34:25
Speaker 1: a certain way and I'm like, wow, thank you God.
34:30
Speaker 1: You know, nothing is ever going to be perfect a
34:34
Speaker 1: hundred percent at a time. But when we can find
34:36
Speaker 1: gratitude in those tiny, tiny, little moments, when we can
34:41
Speaker 1: celebrate those small kindnesses and small winds just as much
34:47
Speaker 1: as we do the huge you know, shows and acts
34:53
Speaker 1: and gift givings and opportunities, you know, it changes everything.
34:57
Speaker 1: It's changed everything for me. I will celebrate the tiny
35:01
Speaker 1: kindness that I experienced in a day as much as
35:05
Speaker 1: I will celebrate the amazing opportunity that came with a
35:09
Speaker 1: fat check that I get from a company or or something.
35:13
Speaker 1: You know. I want to share this story. I should
35:17
Speaker 1: I share it. Yeah, I'm gonna share it. I want to.
35:19
Speaker 1: I want to tell this as part of a larger story,
35:21
Speaker 1: so I'll probably revisit it in a future episode. But
35:24
Speaker 1: I was having this, this experience in my life where
35:27
Speaker 1: I was deeply depressed and I was barely barely holding
35:31
Speaker 1: it together. And I went to have lunch with a girlfriend.
35:35
Speaker 1: And you know when you're going through something in life,
35:37
Speaker 1: or like if you've been in a place where you
35:40
Speaker 1: are crying a lot, like you're experiencing some real depth
35:43
Speaker 1: of pain and you're you're crying and when you're around
35:46
Speaker 1: other people, you're just trying to hold it together. Well,
35:49
Speaker 1: I remember this is probably ten years ago. I was
35:52
Speaker 1: at the Grove and I was having lunch with a
35:56
Speaker 1: girlfriend and at the end of lunch, I felt the
36:00
Speaker 1: coming into my throat and I remember thinking to myself, Okay,
36:05
Speaker 1: you have five minutes to get out of here before
36:07
Speaker 1: you fall apart. You can only hold it together and
36:11
Speaker 1: keep your face dry for five minutes or you're gonna
36:14
Speaker 1: lose it. And so I was trying to get out
36:19
Speaker 1: of there. I was like, hey girl, I gotta go
36:20
Speaker 1: pay the check. She was like, oh, hang on, I
36:22
Speaker 1: need to go to the bathroom. So I'm sitting by
36:24
Speaker 1: the door and I'm tapping my foot really hard. I'm
36:27
Speaker 1: just trying to distract myself. I feel the water, the
36:30
Speaker 1: warm water, filling in my eyes and this waitress saw me,
36:35
Speaker 1: and she walked over to me, and she bent down
36:38
Speaker 1: and she just grabbed my hand and she I could
36:41
Speaker 1: cry right now talking about it. She grabbed my hand
36:44
Speaker 1: and she put this tiny, cheap, hard candy, like one
36:49
Speaker 1: of those that Grandma is always having the bottom of
36:51
Speaker 1: the purse. She put in the center of my hand,
36:53
Speaker 1: closed my fingers over it, clutched my hand and gave
36:56
Speaker 1: it a squeeze, and just looked me in the eye
36:59
Speaker 1: and smile and weaked, and then got up and walked away.
37:03
Speaker 1: Never saw her again. But there was something about that humanity,
37:09
Speaker 1: that touch, that recognizing that this other human that I
37:15
Speaker 1: don't know is having a hard time and doing something
37:19
Speaker 1: small to make me smile. So that didn't change the
37:23
Speaker 1: problems that I was going through, right, but it did
37:25
Speaker 1: reinforce my understanding and belief that I am cared for
37:31
Speaker 1: by the world, by the universe, no matter what's happening
37:33
Speaker 1: in my life. And so ever since then, especially now,
37:37
Speaker 1: I just love looking for tiny joys. I love photographing flowers.
37:42
Speaker 1: If you follow me on Instagram and you see my stories,
37:45
Speaker 1: I stay with a flower pick like every day. Um,
37:50
Speaker 1: you know, I like I like taking time for myself.
37:52
Speaker 1: I take my I take myself to lunch sometimes, or
37:55
Speaker 1: I make time to just do something that feels serving
37:58
Speaker 1: for me, even if the only chance I get is
38:01
Speaker 1: to walk outside, kick my shoes off, move my toes
38:05
Speaker 1: around in the grass, and feel connected to the earth.
38:08
Speaker 1: To me, that brings joy. So joy doesn't always have
38:12
Speaker 1: to come in the guise of the shopping trip or
38:16
Speaker 1: even the face sheet mask, or the spa day or
38:20
Speaker 1: any grand gesture like sometimes it is just finding the
38:26
Speaker 1: the profound beauty and the little moments in nature. So
38:31
Speaker 1: whatever whatever that is for you, I think that that's
38:33
Speaker 1: a great technique for finding inner joy. Make it a
38:35
Speaker 1: point every day to really feel something, to really smile
38:41
Speaker 1: at something, even if you have to force yourself through it.
38:45
Speaker 1: Make a playlist, you know, with nothing but songs that
38:48
Speaker 1: bring a smile to your face, that, as Marie Condo would, day,
38:52
Speaker 1: sparks joy. You know, give yourself that and whatever little
38:57
Speaker 1: way that you can. All Right, that's pretty much, um,
39:00
Speaker 1: all the questions that I will go through today. But
39:03
Speaker 1: I got a lot, and I think I'm gonna do
39:05
Speaker 1: this more often because that felt really good. Okay, So
39:08
Speaker 1: for time's sake, I think I'm gonna stop right here
39:11
Speaker 1: for now a few housekeeping items. Thank you so much
39:16
Speaker 1: for all of the five star ratings and reviews that
39:18
Speaker 1: you guys have left. I deeply appreciate the fact that
39:21
Speaker 1: so many of y'all are giving me time out of
39:24
Speaker 1: your day to not just listen, but to go the
39:26
Speaker 1: extra mile of subscribing, rating, and writing a review. Usually
39:31
Speaker 1: we only take time in our life to report bad
39:33
Speaker 1: customer service, keep playing, or comment about a bad experience
39:38
Speaker 1: on Yelp or in person um. Personally, I've really been
39:42
Speaker 1: trying to make the time to give praise and celebration
39:46
Speaker 1: of good experiences. That's same energy. So I'm really grateful
39:50
Speaker 1: that y'all are doing the same for me. Really appreciate it.
39:54
Speaker 1: Oh and I have some events coming up soon if
39:57
Speaker 1: you want to connect in person. One's going to be
39:59
Speaker 1: in a a tour in New York and another is
40:03
Speaker 1: going to be a digital offering that will be an
40:05
Speaker 1: out soon. So I'm thinking sometime in the near future,
40:10
Speaker 1: I'm going to have some more access for you guys
40:12
Speaker 1: to this stuff, so you can always check out the
40:14
Speaker 1: events tab on Karma Bliss dot com for more info.
40:20
Speaker 1: We're also having a pretty good sale on crystals right
40:22
Speaker 1: now if you want to check those out. Oh, which
40:25
Speaker 1: reminds me actually before I get out of here. So
40:27
Speaker 1: a lot of the questions that I got to that
40:29
Speaker 1: I didn't get a chance to get to just yet.
40:32
Speaker 1: We're like crystal questions. Like specifically, a lot of people
40:37
Speaker 1: asked me, how did you start on your crystal journey?
40:40
Speaker 1: What are the attributes of this crystal or that crystal?
40:42
Speaker 1: How do you use sage? I got a lot of
40:45
Speaker 1: really specific questions like that. Now I have to tell you, guys,
40:49
Speaker 1: I have a book that answers all of that and more.
40:54
Speaker 1: Like the whole first chapter of the book is dedicated
40:57
Speaker 1: to me kind of talking about how I got into stills,
41:00
Speaker 1: how I use them. Um, I go over a lot
41:03
Speaker 1: of like modalities of healing and and practices like staging,
41:08
Speaker 1: and I give you the attributes if I think around
41:11
Speaker 1: fifty four different crystals and how to use them for
41:13
Speaker 1: different things in your life. So to save time for
41:16
Speaker 1: me and keep me from repeating some stuff, I do
41:19
Speaker 1: want to direct you guys to my book. It's called
41:22
Speaker 1: Crystal Bliss. It's available in all bookstores or you can
41:25
Speaker 1: get it to you quick fast on Amazon Prime. So
41:29
Speaker 1: if you go on Karma Bliss dot com, um, there's
41:31
Speaker 1: links to the book as well, but that book answers
41:34
Speaker 1: all of those questions. Even if you go to the
41:36
Speaker 1: bio of my personal website, which is Debbie Brown dot com,
41:40
Speaker 1: You'll have access to tons of information about me and
41:44
Speaker 1: kind of how I found myself where I am at
41:46
Speaker 1: this moment in time in the world. So check that out.
41:50
Speaker 1: Another quick question, I just looked at my notebook and
41:53
Speaker 1: forgot I wrote this down. Someone asked me, are your
41:56
Speaker 1: eyebrows micro bladed? Yes? Girl, And I know you asked
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Speaker 1: me that because when I put up the prompt on
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Speaker 1: my I G story, I had just got them retouched
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Speaker 1: that morning, so my eyebrows were extra fleaky. But yeah,
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Speaker 1: so I get my eyebrows micro bladed. My girl, Maggie
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Speaker 1: of Impressive Faces in Houston is the first person to
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Speaker 1: do micro blading on me. This is maybe four years ago,
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Speaker 1: and now that I'm back in l A, I have.
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Speaker 1: I used Katie Brows, which is in Studio City, so
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Speaker 1: it's it can be pretty pricey, but I recommend that
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Speaker 1: if you're interested in getting your your eyebrows micro bladed,
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Speaker 1: do a lot of research and do not pay the
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Speaker 1: cheap price because a lot of people are taking other
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Speaker 1: people's photographs of their work and putting it on their
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Speaker 1: Instagram page and people are signing up for them and
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Speaker 1: because the price is cheaper. But that's not their work,
42:53
Speaker 1: you know, this is your face, your face getting tattooed,
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Speaker 1: So you can never do too much research for something
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Speaker 1: like that. Um, but yes, I love having my eyebrows
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Speaker 1: micro bladed. I also get my lashes done and that's
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Speaker 1: pretty much it. I don't really wear makeup other than
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Speaker 1: that really, for no other reason than I'm very lazy,
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Speaker 1: and the limited time that I do have free time,
43:18
Speaker 1: I just kind of want to use for other things.
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Speaker 1: So I work really really hard on my skincare. I
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Speaker 1: use a lot of Eminence products. I get my eyebrows
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Speaker 1: micro related once a year, and I do lashes every
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Speaker 1: two weeks. And for me, that is my recipe to
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Speaker 1: be in my best self while not being stressed doing
43:34
Speaker 1: it in the process. But those are definitely my must have.
43:37
Speaker 1: So yeah, I hope then answered that question. Um so yeah.
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Speaker 1: Karmogoos dot com for more info on the events that
43:43
Speaker 1: I have coming up. You can also sign up for
43:45
Speaker 1: my newsletter there too. My newsletter goes out once a week,
43:50
Speaker 1: usually on Friday's. Okay, that's it. That's all I got.
43:52
Speaker 1: I love y'all, stay open, treat yourself well. Peace big
43:58
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Draw
44:00
Speaker 1: Copping Gym's podcast. This show is executive produced by Adrian
44:03
Speaker 1: Scott and me Debbie Brown. Our theme music was created
44:07
Speaker 1: by producer Day One and the poem that you heard
44:09
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the show, well that was created
44:11
Speaker 1: especially for us by award winning poet Nambie okafor do
44:14
Speaker 1: you have a quick moment right now? Please hit subscribe
44:17
Speaker 1: on the show and if you like what you heard,
44:19
Speaker 1: take it a step further and give us a five
44:22
Speaker 1: star rating. Until next time you connect with me on
44:24
Speaker 1: I g at Debbie Brown or my website Debbie Brown
44:27
Speaker 1: dot com. Be blessed.