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What are Narcissists like when they are lonely? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time seeing my
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  face or hearing my voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people into the therapy and also
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  validate the victims, survivors and thrivers.
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  The thrivers of say disorders said toxic people said toxic
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  traits. Today's episode is going to be
• 0:28
  about narcissist and loneliness. How do narcissists feel when
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  they are alone, alone. Before we happen to today's
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  episode, y'all, make sure you join my newsletter e-mail list.
• 0:42
  The link is in the description of every single video and
• 0:44
  podcast I do. You don't want to miss out on
• 0:46
  the things that I have coming up next.
• 0:48
  Have a lot of great stuff coming out next.
• 0:51
  Y'all, you don't want to miss out on it, but yeah, hopping
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  into today's episode. Y'all narcissist.
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  How do narcissists feel when they're alone?
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  This right here could rattle you a little bit.
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  Y'all so prep for just so you stay prepped.
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  A narcissist in the mind of a narcissistic person, toxic
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  person, whoever. When we are alone it can drive
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  us crazy. We are I I had a saying on my
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  Facebook a long time ago. It said when I am alone with my
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  thoughts, they become my enemies.
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  It's like my thoughts attack me. It's like it feels like the
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  world is cave in on me. It feels like the world is
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  chasing me down. It feels like I have so much
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  stuff, like whatever I'm thinking is coming in on me, you
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  know what I mean? It's just like I don't have any.
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  It's like even when I'm alone, it's just like it's just, you
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  know, it's wildness. It's like all the negative
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  thoughts that I have bubble to the surface.
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  All of them. I like if if I have a thought, I
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  think it. If it's negative, I think it.
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  And if I tell people like a narcissist when they are alone
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  can be a very uniquely dangerous person.
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  Just based on everything, just based on how things go, just
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  based on the way the world works and stuff like that.
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  That narcissistic person can be extremely dangerous to you when
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  they're alone. But when I'm alone, y'all and
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  just tell me it feels like I'm, it feels like everything is
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  caving in on me. It feels like shame, regret.
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  All these stuff that I've tried to repress down, it just bubbles
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  to the surface. Like, literally.
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  It's just like, you know how? Like, just imagine like a
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  peaceful, serene lake, right? If you close your eyes, imagine
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  the lake and then that lake. In the middle of the lake you
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  see these big these big ass bubbles that start to come out
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  of nowhere. That's how it feels.
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  Y'all the shame bubble, the regret bubble, The bad things
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  that I've done bubble. The dark thoughts bubble, the
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  failures in my life bubble. All this stuff is bubbling to
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  the surface. Y'all so this what like you get
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  a lot of narcissists who hate being by themselves.
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  They just do you. That's why you say narcissists.
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  People cannot stand to be by themselves.
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  They want to move on quickly. They need somebody else to be
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  around. They need somebody else to have
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  in their life. They need somebody else to be
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  with them. They need it, need it, need it.
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  It's not. It's not just a want, it's a
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  need. It's like you cannot breathe
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  without having somebody in your life.
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  And it's hard. Y'all.
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  It's extremely tough to do. And I feel like when my wife
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  left back in March or April of 2020 and I was alone, that was
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  probably one of the toughest times I've had in my life.
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  But it was necessary. It was necessary.
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  Like me being able to be alone was necessary.
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  I want like when she left. And I felt when I when I when I
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  came back home and she was gone, I immediately like, oh, I don't
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  want to be be by myself here. I thought about downloading
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  dating apps. I was about to go on her and
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  just clap all the yeah, I bought.
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  I was about to get loose. I was about to get loose, but I
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  told myself because I've been in therapist so long, I was able to
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  slow myself down. I told myself, look man, look,
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  this is the this is a turning point of your life right now.
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  This is a turning point of your life right now.
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  You can either go over here and get loose and fail, or you can
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  work on yourself, or you can you can deal with the silence, or
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  you can learn to deal with the loneliness.
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  Or you can learn how to deal, how to push through.
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  This time. Then I made a promise to myself.
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  I I challenged myself to be able to be alone.
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  Most narcissists cannot do that. They will not do that.
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  They can't stand it if they're alone.
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  They have if they. They can't sit alone in the
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  silence and deal with themselves.
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  So if they're alone, they drink. If you're alone, you drink.
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  It helps. Very.
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  It helps, yeah, sometimes a certain level of taking a couple
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  of shots or doing some kind of drugs, something like that can
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  help calm your mind down a little bit.
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  A couple of shots clears, it kind of lowers your inhibitions.
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  It kind of clears your mind out. Allows you to relax, right?
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  Allows you to relax. That's why you see a lot of
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  narcissists, They drink, they have addicted, they have a Dick,
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  they get addicted to illegal substances, they get addicted to
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  the drugs and alcohol and stuff like that.
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  You see, you see this happen a lot when you deal with
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  narcissists, you see them get addicted to stuff a lot of
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  times. Y'all because they're trying to
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  drown out the noise. They're trying to stop the
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  bubbles from bubbling to the surface.
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  They go on these benders. They guess how you become.
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  That's how some of them become Alcoholics.
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  It starts off as just a it starts off just as an escape.
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  But then it becomes something way bigger than the net.
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  Because, you know, you're as the more you drank, the more your
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  inhibition goes now and the more it takes for you to get drunk.
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  It is how? Yeah, this part of it, it's part
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  of the dynamic. It's part of it right there.
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  The more you drank, the harder it is.
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  And like I say, it goes through. You go through this cycle right
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  there. You just go through this cycle.
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  It's it's cyclical. It's and the cycle doesn't stop
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  until somebody stops it. You know, it doesn't stop until
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  somebody stops. And so a lonely narcissist can
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  be a very dangerous narcissist, Y'all because they start to
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  drink and do all this stuff like this right here out.
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  And I know people are going to say, well, Lee Narciss end up
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  alone at a lot of most nurses end up alone at the end of their
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  lives. No, they don't.
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  No, most nurses don't end up being alone at the end of their
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  lives. They end up a lot of
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  narcissists, are married for long periods of time, have
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  family and friends that they end up with them at near the end of
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  their life, right when their life is coming to the end.
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  They have family and friends around them consistently, right?
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  Because not everybody knows about narcissism.
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  Nobody knows. Not everybody knows about
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  narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse or toxic abuse,
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  psychological abuse. Not everybody knows what's going
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  on behind the scenes. Some people think, y'all are
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  you. You are happy, You've been
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  together for a long time. So not not not all narcissists
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  end up alone at the end, but they end up internally lonely.
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  So no matter what you do, y'all, even if you have a person in
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  your life, even if you have a person that you love in your
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  life, you still feel endedness, you still feel alone.
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  You just do y'all loneliness. Loneliness is a killer of
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  narcissist y'all. It just does when you become
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  alone with your thoughts, when you get alone, when you are
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  alone with your thoughts, they absolutely become your enemies.
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  They just do. That's one of the this part of
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  the dynamic. They become your enemies.
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  Your thoughts start to attack you and then what can you, what
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  else can you do when your own starts start to attack you?
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  There's nothing you can really do about that in this space.
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  So you get a lot of, you get some narcissist who end up, you
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  know, ending their ending, their existence, taking them, taking
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  themselves out of here, you know, because they can't deal
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  with it. They can't deal with the
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  loneliness, They can't deal with the shame because they they end
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  up taking themselves out of there.
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  And this is no way, this is no way in no way, shape or form me
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  telling you if you have a narcissist in your life that you
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  left and they are alone by themselves, don't go back to
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  them. Because if they have those
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  unaliven, unaliven themselves. Thoughts.
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  They're going to take you with them.
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  Don't sacrifice yourself. Don't do that.
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  You see what I'm saying? Yeah.
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  Don't. Don't do that right there.
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  It just, you know, don't do that.
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  It's just in that space right there, just in that dynamic, you
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  know, That's how the mind works. Y'all.
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  Don't sacrifice yourself for a narcissistic person.
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  You can't call it like if they say, I'm going to, I'm going to.
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  I don't want to be here anymore. Call the hotline.
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  Call the police. Do a Wellness Shack.
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  Do that right there. Protect yourself.
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  You can have empathy and not let your empathy be weaponized
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  against you. Y'all you can, you know, don't
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  let your empathy do weaponize the issue.
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  Because a lot of narcissists like, said they might not be
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  alone at the end of their life, but they'll be internally
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  lonely. Physically, they might not be
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  alone, but internally they might be lonely.
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  You see what I'm saying? Physically alone, internally
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  lonely. You see what I'm saying?
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  Just in this bad space right there, you know, it just, it is
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  how it goes. Y'all.
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  I just feel like a lot of times in these toxic, narcissistic
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  relationships, this how it goes like if you're dealing with a
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  lonely narcissist, there's nothing you can do.
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  Y'all like your presence. Sometimes they take your
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  presence just for granted. They're going to do that.
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  They they always think you're going to be there.
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  They think you're going to be there with them through the
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  through the good times and the bad times, the bad times, which
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  which they caused a lot of the time.
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  Not all the time, but a lot of times.
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  They caused the bad times. You know, it's a good time to do
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  the thick and thin. They causing all the thin times.
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  Y'all they thinning out your relationship.
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  You said they thinned it out. Why?
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  Why? Why are your relationship thin?
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  They are thinning it out, you know what I'm saying?
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  They are thinning the relationship out.
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  They are saying you have to find some peace in your life.
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  You have to be able to find that peace, that space, that great.
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  Give yourself that space and that grace in these situations,
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  in the dynamics. Y'all because as a nurses
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  myself, yeah, I I'm married, I have my children, y'all and I've
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  been working on myself. So it allows me to just enjoy
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  people's company and not need to try to suppress my thoughts and
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  feelings. So I don't feel alone, but I
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  still feel it sometimes, you know, it still comes the lonely,
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  the loneliness hits you in waves, you know, it hits you in
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  waves. It's like you're standing on the
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  beach with your feet on the on the shore.
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  Your feet is on your feet or right there at the at the tide
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  line, right. You know low tide comes in, then
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  high tide, your feet are getting deeper and deeper into the water
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  and then all of a sudden I'm nowhere you can hit by a big ass
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  wave. The waves hit you y'all the wave
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  the the waves and loneliness are going to hit you over and over
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  again. Even if you were surrounded by
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  people you feel alone. And then I tell people y'all.
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  It's just in my mind, in my heart, like part of my story.
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  It says like, I used to be in a room full of people, but I still
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  feel like I was by myself. Is it sometimes y'all?
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  Without that emotional connection, you're always going
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  to feel like you're alone. Even if you have people with you
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  physically, without the emotional connection, you still
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  be lonely. And sometimes loneliness can
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  come from depression, paranoia, whatever it is, y'all it just
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  you still going to feel lonely. You have to deal with that.
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  Y'all they have. They have to be willing to deal
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  with that stuff. They have to be willing to work
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  through their own issues. They have to be willing to fight
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  through it. Because if they don't, then you
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  have to buckle up and then you have to deal with it.
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  And then you have to. You're going to be the recipient
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  of pain and suffering and you don't deserve that.
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  The end of the day, y'all. You have to make the choice for
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  yourself. Thank y'all for tuning in.
• 10:42
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• 10:44
  Look next Thursday. What's next?
• 10:47
  Thursday the 31st? Next 30 to the 31st?
• 10:50
  Yeah, next Thursday, the 31st. 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.
• 10:54
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• 10:59
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• 11:02
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• 11:18
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• 11:26
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• 11:28
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