Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Sir Potty Mouth

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: Sir Potty Mouth · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kutbooms.
0:02
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
0:19
Speaker 2: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
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Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now in.
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Speaker 1: The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me Ben Mallor,
0:34
Speaker 1: and we are hanging out together here on a Friday.
0:39
Speaker 1: The what is it? Today's the ninth day of January.
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Speaker 1: And on this podcast we have Sir Potty Mouth and
0:49
Speaker 1: on the QD. But we're gonna begin with this so
0:52
Speaker 1: on a weekly basis the journey into the audio world
0:56
Speaker 1: that we do here this being Friday. We have new
1:00
Speaker 1: podcasts all week and long. But we have come to
1:02
Speaker 1: accept many uncomfortable truths about life, such as as I've
1:07
Speaker 1: gotten older, the Malard metabolism has entered the Witness Protection program,
1:13
Speaker 1: which is why I do extreme fasting on the daily,
1:18
Speaker 1: on the daily, and that every time I go to
1:22
Speaker 1: the grocery store and I go to check out, it
1:26
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what line I pick. Immediately the person checking
1:32
Speaker 1: out will want to have a long term conversation with
1:36
Speaker 1: whoever they're checking out. Now, I try to do self
1:40
Speaker 1: checkout as much as I can. One of the stories
1:43
Speaker 1: I go to does not have self checkout, which is
1:46
Speaker 1: a big pain in the behind anyway. Also, that will
1:51
Speaker 1: circle back when you hear someone in business say, we'll
1:54
Speaker 1: circle back to that, that is corporate jargon, that the
2:00
Speaker 1: corporate code for this whatever this is, is never happening. Whatever
2:07
Speaker 1: that is. No matter whether it should happen or not,
2:10
Speaker 1: it's not happening. So when somebody says that, we'll circle
2:12
Speaker 1: back to that never happening. And now, thanks to Live Radio,
2:18
Speaker 1: we have once again been reminded of the most humbling
2:22
Speaker 1: truth of all. Karma owns a stopwatch and has impeccable timing.
2:28
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Did you know that Karma owns
2:30
Speaker 1: a stopwatch and has impeccable timing?
2:32
Speaker 3: It does?
2:33
Speaker 1: It does? Let's take you on a journey through time
2:37
Speaker 1: and space. So we talk often about some of the
2:41
Speaker 1: quirky things that happen on the weekday show. We spend
2:47
Speaker 1: our time here on the podcast The Fifth Hour Podcast
2:49
Speaker 1: talking about that some would say, way too much time, Right,
2:53
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Why do you keep talking about that?
2:55
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Move on? However, it's a good
2:59
Speaker 1: way to document the things that take place. And I
3:04
Speaker 1: know that we talk about it so much. We're almost
3:06
Speaker 1: at the point where some some who listen and think
3:10
Speaker 1: we are just being nostalgic. It's like we're men who
3:14
Speaker 1: still insist on vinyl records that that sounds better, or
3:19
Speaker 1: that the Big East was the top point in all
3:24
Speaker 1: of sports when the Big East basketball dominated every Monday,
3:28
Speaker 1: Big Monday and all that stuff. But here's the deal again,
3:32
Speaker 1: I like doing this podcast. Some days I like it
3:35
Speaker 1: more than others. And I find podcasting to be wonderful.
3:38
Speaker 1: It's very controlled here the ecosystem. It's polite. It's bubble
3:43
Speaker 1: wrap for the soul. It's like live radio. However, is
3:48
Speaker 1: a demolition derby where you are blindfolded and someone else
3:55
Speaker 1: controls the brakes, right, It's that kind of situation. And
3:59
Speaker 1: I do love that I got into it when I
4:01
Speaker 1: was a young dad back in the day. That's why
4:03
Speaker 1: I got into radio now earlier this week, get to
4:06
Speaker 1: the point, please, So the Demolition Audio Derby delivered one
4:12
Speaker 1: of its masterpieces. This was Masterpiece Theater, one of its
4:17
Speaker 1: finest RECs. Took place just a couple of days ago
4:23
Speaker 1: on the Wednesday into Thursday show. So it was the
4:25
Speaker 1: final hour of the Ben Mather Show, a time slot
4:30
Speaker 1: where reality becomes optional. And we have more people listening
4:36
Speaker 1: that hour than we do the earlier parts of the
4:39
Speaker 1: show because of the people getting up early trying to
4:41
Speaker 1: get the jump on work on the Eastern seaboards. So
4:45
Speaker 1: we have a lot more people then than we do
4:47
Speaker 1: earlier in the show listening live. Another podcast is the podcast,
4:51
Speaker 1: and people will listen and consume what they're going to consume.
4:54
Speaker 1: But the callers treat the phone lines like a confession
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Speaker 1: booth with no priest. Although you could argue that I
5:05
Speaker 1: am the audio priest, I am not an actual priest,
5:08
Speaker 1: but on the radio, why not? And so enter Sir
5:12
Speaker 1: scratch Off. Now, if you listen semi regularly, chances are
5:17
Speaker 1: if you've been with the show for any period of
5:19
Speaker 1: time that you've heard the work of Sir scratch Off.
5:22
Speaker 1: He loves the Rams. He liked them when they were
5:25
Speaker 1: the Saint Louis Rams. He likes the back in the
5:27
Speaker 1: day with the La Rams. He loves to call up
5:29
Speaker 1: and talk about the Rams. He also gets very offended
5:32
Speaker 1: about the Dodgers. He's a Cardinals fan. He's got issues. However,
5:38
Speaker 1: he's a longtime member of the Mallard Militia from the
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Speaker 1: state of Arkansas. A senior statesman, if you will, a
5:45
Speaker 1: veteran caller. Veteran caller, the kind of guy whose name
5:50
Speaker 1: alone suggests that he's got opinions, convictions, and at least
5:57
Speaker 1: at least a couple of plastic tubs was filled with
6:01
Speaker 1: old lottery tickets. And he's the guy that will go
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Speaker 1: into a roadside diner in the backwoods of Arkansas and
6:12
Speaker 1: he will say, Hey, can I get a breakfast burrito? Well,
6:15
Speaker 1: why would you order a breakfast baburrito your roadside stop
6:18
Speaker 1: somewhere in Arkansas? Well, I like breakfast burritos. And then
6:21
Speaker 1: he'll start talking. Next thing you know, you'll be in
6:24
Speaker 1: a conversation for an hour. So he hadn't called in
6:27
Speaker 1: a while, Sir scratch off, I was genuinely happy. That's
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Speaker 1: what a loser I am. I was genuinely happy to
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Speaker 1: hear his voice. That happiness lasted approximately and I don't
6:39
Speaker 1: want to exaggerate and I do not want to exaggerate.
6:42
Speaker 1: It lasted approximately eight seconds. Now some background for those
6:49
Speaker 1: in the back of the room. Background for those of
6:52
Speaker 1: you in the back of room. I know JT the
6:53
Speaker 1: Wingman will appreciate this, and so will Lucky Tony. Sir
6:56
Speaker 1: scratch Off over the holidays, had sent me a a
7:00
Speaker 1: bunch of messages on Facebook messager, and I am famously bad.
7:06
Speaker 1: I always apologize in advance for responding to random messages
7:11
Speaker 1: that I get. I get a high volume of messages.
7:15
Speaker 1: It's part of the gig, and it's cool and all that.
7:17
Speaker 1: And this is not an exaggeration. Though I have unopened emails,
7:22
Speaker 1: I think that are old enough to cast a ballot
7:25
Speaker 1: at this point. And because I was on holiday, I
7:30
Speaker 1: saw his messages and I attempted something radical. It's called politeness.
7:38
Speaker 1: I tried to respond, and I got a message from
7:44
Speaker 1: Facebook informing me that I was not allowed to message
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Speaker 1: this particular user, which I found odd. This is not
7:53
Speaker 1: a rejection you can process emotionally. It's not seen, it's
7:58
Speaker 1: not left on red. It's a digital thing. I'm a
8:04
Speaker 1: jig tapping you on the shoulder and saying, yeah, you're
8:08
Speaker 1: not able to talk to this person, You're not on
8:10
Speaker 1: a list. So naturally I mentioned this to Sir scratch
8:14
Speaker 1: Off on the air. I said, listen, Sir scratch Off,
8:16
Speaker 1: I tried to write back. He sounded dazed and confused,
8:20
Speaker 1: as he often does, like a man being told his
8:23
Speaker 1: mailbox has filled up and has now filed a restraining order,
8:30
Speaker 1: And then, like a revival tent sprouting up overnight, the
8:37
Speaker 1: sermon began. I didn't ask for the sermon. Did you
8:39
Speaker 1: ask for the sermon? I didn't ask for the sermon. Well,
8:42
Speaker 1: I got a sermon, and guess what, so did you.
8:45
Speaker 1: It started with I like your show. The man said, now,
8:52
Speaker 1: having done this whatever, this is long enough, we know
8:58
Speaker 1: that that sentence is meaningless. Once the word but capital
9:04
Speaker 1: be But enter's the chat. Everything before that is just
9:09
Speaker 1: a runway. The crash is imminent. You know it is happening.
9:15
Speaker 1: You know it is happening. So Sir scratch Off launches
9:18
Speaker 1: into this long winded critique of my language, not your language,
9:24
Speaker 1: my language, my mouth, my vocabulary. This was less feedback
9:30
Speaker 1: and more old testament, If you know what I'm saying.
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Speaker 1: He spoke with the confidence of a man, Sir scratch Off,
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Speaker 1: who had never accidentally sent a text to the wrong person,
9:42
Speaker 1: then started to wonder, Oh my god, what have I done,
9:46
Speaker 1: and then stared at their phone praying for the power
9:50
Speaker 1: outage to take place. So you want that power, just
9:54
Speaker 1: the thing that doesn't happen. So we explained that, listen,
9:58
Speaker 1: I do a lot of things. There's a lot of
10:00
Speaker 1: things I'm not good at. There's a lot of things
10:01
Speaker 1: I do I shouldn't do. I don't use profanity on radio,
10:05
Speaker 1: not because I don't love profanity. I do love profanity.
10:08
Speaker 1: I enjoy profanity. However, I am regulated by the Federal
10:13
Speaker 1: Communications Commission, whether I like it or not. A group
10:15
Speaker 1: of individuals that has many hobbies. None of them include
10:21
Speaker 1: my happiness. None of them include my happiness. So I said, listen,
10:25
Speaker 1: do you think I worked blue? He had no idea
10:27
Speaker 1: what that meant. I guess that's even over his head.
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Speaker 1: So the FCC does not appreciate creative wordplay involving body parts.
10:36
Speaker 1: They don't. They don't. They don't like pottymouth. So back
10:41
Speaker 1: and forth we went Southern Arkansas drawl versus West Coast
10:48
Speaker 1: overnight sarcasm. And then then, because live radio has a
10:54
Speaker 1: tremendous sense of humor. The gremlin arrived. Knock knock, Who's there?
11:01
Speaker 1: The gremlin? The gremlin? Who so the broadcast line. My
11:05
Speaker 1: broadcast line malfunctioned from the remote studio could put my
11:13
Speaker 1: microphone went silent. In the business, this is a da situation.
11:19
Speaker 3: Dead air? What who?
11:22
Speaker 1: What? Whow so?
11:24
Speaker 3: Dead air?
11:25
Speaker 1: Maybe ten seconds? You understand that in radio ten seconds
11:30
Speaker 1: is not silence. It is a geological area. Mountains can form.
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Speaker 1: There is an entire civilization that can rise up and
11:42
Speaker 1: fall down in ten seconds. Somewhere A program director reaches
11:48
Speaker 1: for antacid, just imagining this, so so scratch Off assumed,
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Speaker 1: since he didn't hear me barking at him, he assumed
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Speaker 1: the position that yours truly had hung up on him
12:03
Speaker 1: very rudely. Something that has happened.
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Speaker 3: I had not.
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Speaker 1: I had not. He was still on the air. He
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Speaker 1: was still on the air, and in what can only
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Speaker 1: be described as a master class in irony, the man
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Speaker 1: who had just spent several minutes lecturing me from the
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Speaker 1: church pew about my language, announced proudly and loudly on
12:34
Speaker 1: hundreds of radio stations, on satellite radio, on endless platforms
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Speaker 1: that I was an asshole. This is the moment live
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Speaker 1: radio earns its pension. There was no dump button, no edit,
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Speaker 1: no rewind, just Karma stretching, crackling its knuckle and saying
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Speaker 1: my turn. Now. Of course Lorraina did hit the dump button. However,
13:07
Speaker 1: it was obvious that whatever had been said was not
13:10
Speaker 1: supposed to be said, and it ended up on the podcast. Now,
13:14
Speaker 1: the hypocrisy of all this was so clean, so delicious,
13:20
Speaker 1: all that deserved a plaque.
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Speaker 3: A man think about that.
13:24
Speaker 1: A man delivers a sermon on verbal hygiene, the higher
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Speaker 1: better person, right, I'm better than you and I know
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Speaker 1: how you should talk, and then immediately swears on national
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Speaker 1: radio the moment he thinks the principal has left the room.
13:41
Speaker 1: It was like watching someone complain about calories while eating
13:45
Speaker 1: with a spoon frosting out of the container. I laughed,
13:52
Speaker 1: not necessarily on the I think there's a little bit
13:54
Speaker 1: of chuckle. I couldn't, but spiritually, I've been driving around
13:58
Speaker 1: last couple of days.
13:59
Speaker 3: I deep in the soul.
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Speaker 1: This was hilarious. And again this is another thing I
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Speaker 1: love doing this, all the stuff I do, the podcast whatever.
14:07
Speaker 1: This is why podcasting will never fully replace live radio.
14:11
Speaker 1: Podcasting does not betray you live radio. Absolutely will. And
14:18
Speaker 1: that's the point. And so where does this rank? We
14:21
Speaker 1: don't do a list. We do not believe in this
14:24
Speaker 1: on Benny's Big Board for Terry and England, Benny's Big Board,
14:29
Speaker 1: the long bizarre history of the Ben Maler Show. So
14:33
Speaker 1: it's likely in the top twenty. It's not certainly near
14:38
Speaker 1: the very top that's reserved. The very top is reserved
14:42
Speaker 1: for the classics Genie and Medford, A Bushing her neighbor
14:46
Speaker 1: on air, the farmer from Georgia. I don't remember the
14:49
Speaker 1: guy's name performing barnyard animal impressions.
14:54
Speaker 3: I don't remember that.
14:55
Speaker 1: Like he was auditioning for a children's show hosted by
14:59
Speaker 1: Livestock mark the full name guy screaming and barking my direction,
15:04
Speaker 1: hollering James snoring like a platypus, and somehow winning a
15:10
Speaker 1: radio game show. Callers being pulled over mid sentence. We've
15:15
Speaker 1: had a few of those. How about Randy from Norman, Oklahoma.
15:18
Speaker 1: I was doing a commercial and in the copy I
15:21
Speaker 1: believe the word bouncy or bouncy error was in the copy,
15:25
Speaker 1: and Randy lost his bleeping mind. Randy in Norman, Oklahoma,
15:32
Speaker 1: And that is how the phrase pro Bouncy Ball was
15:37
Speaker 1: born as a tribute to Randy from Norman, Oklahoma. So
15:42
Speaker 1: live radio is not perfect. It's not always clean, it
15:48
Speaker 1: is not efficient, and sometimes, depending on what part of
15:52
Speaker 1: the Bible belt you're in, it's not safe. However, it
15:56
Speaker 1: is honest. It exposes a lot, especially especially when we
16:03
Speaker 1: think we're preaching wink wink, not not. Sir scratch Off
16:08
Speaker 1: didn't just call the show that night. He contributed to
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Speaker 1: the audio archive, adding a chapter and reminded us you
16:17
Speaker 1: and I reminded us that the universe is listening and
16:19
Speaker 1: that sometimes the universe has a sense of humor. And
16:24
Speaker 1: then I love the fact that he called back the
16:26
Speaker 1: next day, Sir scratch Off defending the fact that he
16:29
Speaker 1: said asshole on the radio show and he was quoting scripture,
16:33
Speaker 1: he said, well, ass is in the Bible, and as
16:36
Speaker 1: Coop pointed out, a whole is not anywhere anyway. I
16:42
Speaker 1: know that podcasting is cool right now, and I'm doing
16:45
Speaker 1: a podcast as I'm talking about this, and this is
16:47
Speaker 1: going to be the future, and someday, someday I will
16:52
Speaker 1: likely only do a podcast that'll be all I do.
16:55
Speaker 1: I'll live a comfortable life and I'll record this whenever
16:58
Speaker 1: I want. But moments like this or why I always
17:02
Speaker 1: believe in live rate, It's why I got into live radio.
17:06
Speaker 1: And when Karma speaks, it doesn't send a push notification,
17:12
Speaker 1: it goes live.
17:12
Speaker 3: We'll do it live.
17:13
Speaker 1: We're gonna do it live, and we'll do it live
17:16
Speaker 1: meanwhile on the QD. So if you didn't get the message,
17:19
Speaker 1: maybe not. Today is not just your normal day.
17:21
Speaker 3: Well, it's a Friday, it is a Friday. However, do
17:26
Speaker 3: you know what this is?
17:29
Speaker 1: No? Okay? Good? Today is Quitters Day on the QD.
17:35
Speaker 1: It's Quittersday. It lands on the second Friday of January.
17:41
Speaker 3: Today being January ninth.
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Speaker 1: This year, and just far enough from New Year's Eve
17:48
Speaker 1: that the confetti has been vacuumed up by your hoover,
17:52
Speaker 1: and just close enough that the treadmill receipt is still
17:55
Speaker 1: in your inbox, so you have that.
17:58
Speaker 3: So it is the only holiday.
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Speaker 1: I'll say, see only holiday on the calendar that doesn't
18:04
Speaker 1: pretend that we are better than we are.
18:08
Speaker 3: Now you think about Valentine's Day is next month.
18:11
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day insists that you spend money on cards and
18:16
Speaker 1: flowers and insists that we are romantic. Thanksgiving, claims that
18:21
Speaker 1: we are grateful. Quitter's Day shrugs and says, you tried something,
18:26
Speaker 1: it didn't work, and that's it. You know what are
18:29
Speaker 1: you thinking? Welcome back, your quitter, Welcome back. Let me
18:33
Speaker 1: give you a hug. It's the day the dream quietly
18:37
Speaker 1: slips out the back door. Now we've mentioned in previous
18:40
Speaker 1: episodes that I do not do New Year's resolutions. This
18:46
Speaker 1: is not a moral stance that I have taken that
18:49
Speaker 1: I am somehow better than you, so much as a
18:53
Speaker 1: logistical one. And as I pointed out, if something is broken,
18:57
Speaker 1: you fix it immediately, schedule the repair for a ceremonial
19:04
Speaker 1: date that exists mostly because a wall calendar flipped over.
19:08
Speaker 1: For example, if your dishwasher is not working, if you
19:11
Speaker 1: have a leak in your sink, you don't say, you
19:15
Speaker 1: know what, I'm gonna wait. It's it's November tenth, but
19:19
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait till January.
19:21
Speaker 3: For no, you grab a wrench.
19:23
Speaker 1: If you're gonna try to fix it yourself, you watch
19:25
Speaker 1: some YouTube videos, or you call the roto router, call
19:30
Speaker 1: a plumber or whoever Mom and pop plumber even better,
19:33
Speaker 1: And you do that, and maybe you put your own
19:36
Speaker 1: bucket under there and at some point just admit defeat
19:41
Speaker 1: and that's it. But either way, action beat symbolism all
19:44
Speaker 1: the time. And this I've learned based on the feedback
19:47
Speaker 1: I get from you, not that I write back to
19:50
Speaker 1: many of you. Put the feedback you send to me
19:52
Speaker 1: apparently puts me in the minority. Most people love New
19:57
Speaker 1: Year's resolutions the way they of movie trailers, not because
20:02
Speaker 1: they represent the reality, because they hint at a better
20:07
Speaker 1: version of us in the future. There's a resolution, say
20:14
Speaker 1: you can watch a ninety minute or two hour film,
20:18
Speaker 1: but a trailer, it compresses the film down to a
20:21
Speaker 1: couple of lines. It's like, I will get in shape,
20:25
Speaker 1: I will eat better, I will lose weight. These are
20:28
Speaker 1: not plans, these are taglines. Is it true that the
20:33
Speaker 1: tradition of New Year's resolutions is really really old?
20:37
Speaker 3: How about four thousand?
20:39
Speaker 1: About four thousand years old, they estimate, dating back to
20:43
Speaker 1: the ancient Babylonians. That sounds like a long time ago.
20:47
Speaker 1: Their year did not even start on the first of January.
20:52
Speaker 1: It began in mid March, on the first full moon
20:56
Speaker 1: after the spring equinox. Bringing the astrology insider Andrea for
21:00
Speaker 1: more on this unless we don't.
21:02
Speaker 3: So this already tells you.
21:04
Speaker 1: You're talking about the Babylonians and you're talking about the
21:08
Speaker 1: calendar being different. This tells you something important here. Resolutions
21:12
Speaker 1: were originally tied to things that really mattered instead of
21:17
Speaker 1: get in shape, eat better, lose weight.
21:19
Speaker 3: Not that those things don't matter.
21:21
Speaker 1: But back in the day, it was agriculture, it was seasons,
21:24
Speaker 1: it was survival. It was not Hey, my fat ass
21:28
Speaker 1: is getting on the peloton and I've got a street
21:30
Speaker 1: gone and all that, and I'm gonna stop drinking for
21:35
Speaker 1: the month of January. If you broke a promise back then,
21:39
Speaker 1: it most likely met that as a Babylonian, your crops
21:44
Speaker 1: failed or your gods got mad, not that you felt
21:49
Speaker 1: mildly guilty while scrolling Instagram.
21:53
Speaker 3: So times have changed now.
21:54
Speaker 1: Quitter's Day, which is today, exists to recognize those of
21:58
Speaker 1: us who set goal not me, and fail to achieve them,
22:03
Speaker 1: and in theory, to encourage you to try again. So
22:07
Speaker 1: it's equal parts compassionate and then brutal. It's the same
22:13
Speaker 1: at the same time. And research does show I was
22:17
Speaker 1: reading about this, actually was it last week or the
22:21
Speaker 1: week before that most people quit their new Year's resolutions
22:25
Speaker 1: around this time. That's why the holidays hear about eighty
22:27
Speaker 1: percent tap out by week two, Tap tap, I'm out,
22:31
Speaker 1: see you later. It's not a failure rate. That is
22:35
Speaker 1: a demographic trend, is what that is. Eighty percent. Most resolutions,
22:40
Speaker 1: according to experts, cluster around the same holy trinity. I
22:44
Speaker 1: want to exercise more, I'm going to eat healthier, and
22:48
Speaker 1: I am going to lose weight. The Big three, the
22:51
Speaker 1: Big three, and these goals. While they are noble, they
22:56
Speaker 1: are also abstract in the way clouds are abstract. You
23:01
Speaker 1: can't see them, you can't point at them, and you
23:04
Speaker 1: can't grab them.
23:06
Speaker 3: I'm I'm going to get in shape is not a plan.
23:10
Speaker 3: It's a vibe.
23:12
Speaker 1: It's like saying you're going to be more interesting or
23:16
Speaker 1: finally understand jazz music. Okay, congratulations. The real problem with
23:22
Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions isn't laziness.
23:25
Speaker 3: It's oh, a over ambition.
23:29
Speaker 1: People start with a burst, right, You're all excited, Yeah,
23:32
Speaker 1: you have motivation that feels infinite. It's like a brand
23:36
Speaker 1: new notebook. You swear you're gonna you're gonna keep neat forever,
23:41
Speaker 1: and then life happens and motivation leaks out.
23:46
Speaker 3: Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.
23:49
Speaker 1: Right leaks out a little bit there, like air from balloon.
23:52
Speaker 3: You forget about behind you know, you kind of forget it.
23:56
Speaker 1: The air comes out, it's behind the soulf or whatever.
23:59
Speaker 3: And January.
24:00
Speaker 1: I know we're doing January ninth, but it's Quitter's Day today,
24:04
Speaker 1: and people look at January first, and the way people
24:08
Speaker 1: treat Mondays as a symbolic reset, even though the week
24:12
Speaker 1: technically starts on Sunday, right, Sunday is the start of
24:15
Speaker 1: the week, not Monday. But you go to work on Monday.
24:17
Speaker 1: Most people don't work on Sunday, although the radio show
24:20
Speaker 1: starts Sunday night in the Monday morning. And human behavior
24:23
Speaker 1: does not reset cleanly.
24:26
Speaker 3: It doesn't.
24:26
Speaker 1: It's more like a cluttered desktop where you keep creating
24:31
Speaker 1: new folders labeled final, final, final, Final, and you don't
24:36
Speaker 1: end up deleting anything normally. What happens is I start
24:39
Speaker 1: deleting stuff when I get the message you're running out
24:42
Speaker 1: of stores. Well I don't want to run out of storage.
24:44
Speaker 1: Well you're running out of storage. Okay, so you better
24:46
Speaker 1: release some how do you delete some? Okay? Let me
24:48
Speaker 1: watch a video on YouTube? Okay, I watched the video.
24:50
Speaker 1: Now I gotta go click on the watch you might
24:52
Speaker 1: call it on the little logo on the upper left
24:55
Speaker 1: hand side of the screen. I gotta click on that.
24:57
Speaker 1: Then I gotta click on system preferences. Then I gotta
25:00
Speaker 1: click on this other little thing. And then I got
25:02
Speaker 1: to leave us. But I can't believe everything because there's
25:03
Speaker 1: some stuff I need, but I have to do it,
25:06
Speaker 1: and I got to do it. And that's it again,
25:08
Speaker 1: eighty percent of people giving up at roughly the same
25:11
Speaker 1: time turns personal disappointment into a communal experience. It's kind
25:18
Speaker 1: of like when everyone leaves a party at once, and
25:22
Speaker 1: you feel a little less awkward about wanting to leave. Now,
25:27
Speaker 1: I try to do the Irish goodbye. As we've talked about,
25:30
Speaker 1: my effort every time we go to a party is
25:32
Speaker 1: do the Irish goodbye. The wife does not want to
25:36
Speaker 1: do the Irish goodbye, so that I get dragged in
25:38
Speaker 1: by marriage to having to do the long goodbye. And
25:41
Speaker 1: then there's always I don't don't leave the party. Don't
25:44
Speaker 1: leave the party that we need you to stay the
25:46
Speaker 1: whole thing, all right. That's that's it, and so it's
25:51
Speaker 1: it's just the way it is. And Quitter's Day is
25:54
Speaker 1: social proof that it wasn't just you. The system is rigged.
26:01
Speaker 1: It's a rig deal. The advice that follows is always
26:04
Speaker 1: the same. Well in you're supposed to set short term,
26:09
Speaker 1: makeable goals, even ef it's a medium, I go short
26:13
Speaker 1: term right. Long term goals are a recipe to stop
26:19
Speaker 1: doing whatever you're doing. You just one step at a time,
26:22
Speaker 1: break it down, make it manageable, bite sized pieces like
26:26
Speaker 1: it's you don't feed a steak to a baby or
26:29
Speaker 1: a toddler. You chop up the pieces of food from
26:33
Speaker 1: the steak and you chew your food and all that stuff.
26:35
Speaker 1: That's good advice. It's also obvious. There's obvious advice, which
26:41
Speaker 1: raises the question of why we ignore it every single
26:45
Speaker 1: year and almost every single time, almost every single time,
26:50
Speaker 1: we ignore it. Now, maybe it's because the small goal
26:55
Speaker 1: is not cinematic, if you know what I'm saying right,
26:58
Speaker 1: Nobody wants a montage where the hero flosses constantly and
27:05
Speaker 1: walks thirty minutes a day and drinks a lot of water.
27:09
Speaker 1: We want the transformation. It's like watching the show house
27:15
Speaker 1: Hunters or love it or list it right, and so
27:18
Speaker 1: you can watch it and they'll go through the whole thing.
27:20
Speaker 1: And you know, however, you can just fast forward to
27:24
Speaker 1: the end, say all right, well which one did they pick?
27:27
Speaker 1: They got three options, which one did they pick? And
27:30
Speaker 1: then just fast forward.
27:31
Speaker 3: There you go.
27:32
Speaker 1: You want the before and after, you want the dramatic reveal.
27:36
Speaker 3: You'd like that. And you know, life is not a montage.
27:42
Speaker 1: It's the slow panshot and change happens the way that
27:47
Speaker 1: rust forms quietly and just little by the little. There's
27:51
Speaker 1: no real applause there.
27:53
Speaker 3: And that's again another issue.
27:55
Speaker 1: With New Year's Resolutions, that you know, it's designed for
28:01
Speaker 1: those of us who who want the glory and want
28:06
Speaker 1: it right away, and then it exposes no. Quitter's Day,
28:11
Speaker 1: which is today, exposes that there's a bit of.
28:13
Speaker 3: A gap there.
28:15
Speaker 1: It's the moment when the dream meets habit and habit
28:20
Speaker 1: wins by ko knockout. So again, Quitter's Day, as I said,
28:28
Speaker 1: might just be that's a weasel word, the most honest
28:30
Speaker 1: holiday we have. And it doesn't judge. It just notes
28:36
Speaker 1: that the data and it shrugs and it winks and
28:40
Speaker 1: there you go. So that's where we are. And if
28:43
Speaker 1: you quit, whether it was today or the last couple
28:46
Speaker 1: of days. Good luck. You have until January first, twenty
28:52
Speaker 1: twenty seven, twenty twenty seven, you can do it all
28:57
Speaker 1: over again. Whoop the damn dude. Yes, absolutely all right.
29:04
Speaker 1: On that note, reminder, Benny versus the penny is up.
29:08
Speaker 1: We'll have all the episodes up and running by the
29:11
Speaker 1: end of the day today for a week week number zero.
29:16
Speaker 1: It's the zero week for the playoffs, right well, it's
29:18
Speaker 1: called wildcard weekend in the NFL, so we've got that covered.
29:21
Speaker 1: The Rams start off the playoffs against Carolina that game on.
29:25
Speaker 3: Saturday Saturday, Saturday.
29:27
Speaker 1: Afternoon, and then continue all the way all the way
29:30
Speaker 1: through Monday night when the Steelers and the Texans play.
29:34
Speaker 1: We got picks on every single game. We'll have fresh
29:36
Speaker 1: podcast here on Saturday and Sunday as well the mail.
29:40
Speaker 3: Bag on Sunday.
29:41
Speaker 1: You have time to send a question in for the
29:44
Speaker 1: mail bag, send it care of Real fifth Hour at
29:48
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
29:52
Speaker 1: Enjoy that and.
29:54
Speaker 3: Have a wonderful rest of your Friday.
30:00
Speaker 2: Order. I gotta go