Latest / Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk / Oscar Mike Radio– Vicki Cody - Author, Pilot, and Army Wife
Transcript
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- 4:19That's mvp.va.gov Thanks a lot. Hello and welcome again to OM
- 4:28Radio. I'm Marine Corps veteran and
- 4:30your host. My name is Travis.
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- 4:59It's all good and we're getting to some really good stuff and I
- 5:03love. These kinds of guests coming up
- 5:07got approached, said, hey, I got this person I want you to talk
- 5:11to. She's an author two times.
- 5:13She's an Army wife, Army mom, and you know, comes heavy, as we
- 5:19say, in the Marine Corps. And I started looking around.
- 5:23I'm like, man, we're we're just going to scratch the surface.
- 5:26Vicki Cody, Army Wife Author, Welcome to OM Radio.
- 5:32Well, thank you, Travis. I'm glad to be here.
- 5:34I'm excited about this interview.
- 5:36I, I, I started digging in. I'm like, wait a minute, wait a
- 5:39minute. This isn't just, you know, some,
- 5:41you know, mom or some dad doing a little right?
- 5:45Like, like you're full throttle, ma'am, You live, you know, all
- 5:48gas, no brakes. This is amazing.
- 5:51So before we get into how you got you to be an author and what
- 5:56you do now, you got to start somewhere.
- 5:58And from what I understand you started.
- 6:02Over 50 years ago in this, this line of of work shall we say,
- 6:07how did you get started in the army life and and what led you
- 6:11to say, you know what, I'm I'm in.
- 6:13I'm fully in on this. Well, Travis, I I had no clue.
- 6:18I had no clue. When I met Dick Cody in the
- 6:21summer of 1969. I was at high school, 16 years
- 6:25old. I fell madly in love with this
- 6:28guy. He was a kinetic West Point.
- 6:30We started dating. I knew nothing about the
- 6:33military. None of nobody in my family had
- 6:36ever served. All I knew was he was, he was a
- 6:39cadet. And you know, I was, I was
- 6:41falling in love. And I thought, well, you know,
- 6:43we'll just see where this goes. And it just evolved.
- 6:46And we dated, you know, through high school, college.
- 6:50And then he was already stationed in Hawaii.
- 6:54We get. Well, we make plans to get
- 6:56married and then we have to postpone because of the fall of
- 7:00Saigon. He was on a plane to to go
- 7:02there. Anyway, Long story short, you
- 7:05know, I I think like with so many people you meet, you fall
- 7:09in love, you never know where it's going to lead you.
- 7:11If somebody had said to either one of us or both of us, you're
- 7:15going to be doing this journey for the next, you know, 40
- 7:18something years. I saw my husband go from Cadet.
- 7:23The four-star general. I never dreamed that that's
- 7:26where it would all lead and that we would have two sons, Both
- 7:30sons would go into the military. They're still serving on active
- 7:33duty. They're both Apache helicopter
- 7:36pilots like their dad. You know, I never dreamed, never
- 7:40dreamed any of this. And I think that's what's so
- 7:43much fun. You just kind of go with it.
- 7:47And that's what I did. I I just, you know, decided I'm
- 7:50going to go on this adventure with him and, you know, take the
- 7:53good with the bad, of course, probably back then I didn't
- 7:56think of it that way. You know, this is now me talking
- 7:59at, you know, the age of 70 and looking back at all of this.
- 8:04You know, at the time there were ups and downs.
- 8:06Obviously, you've been in the military.
- 8:08You know what it's like. It's not all smooth sailing.
- 8:12But I wouldn't trade one bit of it.
- 8:15It was it was the best thing for the two of us, for our sons and
- 8:21we just lived the life and and you know took the good times
- 8:25when they came and got through the challenges.
- 8:28And I think, I think that's mostly what has kept Dick and
- 8:31Vicki together for so long because we've been through a lot
- 8:36and and I think that just well, it either breaks you apart or
- 8:39strengthens you. Vicki, I got to tell you, you
- 8:43know, I'm at a point in my life where I I don't believe in love.
- 8:46Like I I think love is a mirage, you know?
- 8:49It is there. It's real.
- 8:52And then I hear something like this and I'm like, I'm just
- 8:55sitting here dumbfound. I'm like, if that's not love,
- 8:58Vicki, what is? What is?
- 9:01I mean through the hard times. You don't even sugar coat like
- 9:03there were hard times, but we made it.
- 9:06Yeah. Yeah, I was just going to say, I
- 9:09mean, there were times I, you know, maybe I didn't want to
- 9:11move to where we were going or he was leaving again.
- 9:15And I had two little kids at home and and I'm trying to take
- 9:18care of the house and the kids. And I didn't know, you know, he
- 9:21was in a dangerous business, flying Apache helicopters.
- 9:24I didn't know what the next day was going to bring.
- 9:27We had so many friends over the years die in crashes, not even
- 9:33in combat, Just, you know, out on a mission.
- 9:36And the helicopter crashes. You know you go through stuff
- 9:40like that And I I guess I was just we were always committed to
- 9:45each other. We really were from the from the
- 9:47very beginning. You know we weren't going to
- 9:49let. I always used to say I'm not
- 9:51letting army life come between us, even though it did a lot.
- 9:56But I tried so hard to keep it from doing that.
- 9:58And and you know, there were ebbs and flows, like in any
- 10:02relationship, but boy, you know. We look back now and we're so
- 10:07lucky and so blessed that we've reached this point in our lives
- 10:10and he's semi retired. He's still working at the
- 10:13Pentagon off and on. He he's never going to give it
- 10:16up. He's had a job in the corporate
- 10:17world for 10 years, but he's he's always back at the
- 10:20Pentagon. But you know we have the the
- 10:24means now and the time to travel, spend time with the
- 10:28grandkids, our sons and their families.
- 10:31I mean it's life is good. We're very lucky.
- 10:35So I've read a lot of military books and you know, the officer
- 10:40side of the house where they talk about going through the
- 10:43military and also most of the guys sometimes think the
- 10:45officers just live and with feather beds and you know, full
- 10:50staff, so on and so forth. And it's not always that way.
- 10:53And one of the things I was very curious about is some of the
- 10:55books and some of the men I've talked to have said, you know.
- 11:00It's it's easy to think of the wife as the dependent, but he's
- 11:02like believe it or not though you know your wife is part of
- 11:07the package, there's an expectation of of service and
- 11:12behavior and accountability to help that person's career move
- 11:16forward. Now I was curious is, is that
- 11:19just anecdotal or or did you find that to be true where maybe
- 11:23you weren't? You know, flying, you know,
- 11:25front seat in that Apache, but you had a part in your in your
- 11:29husband's career on some level. Oh, absolutely.
- 11:33And and we approached it that way, you know, in the early
- 11:38years, because I married him in 1975, S in the 70s, even the
- 11:43early 80s, it was still very old school as far as the, you know,
- 11:49social obligations, responsibilities.
- 11:54Not that I never felt real pressure.
- 11:57I just. I enjoyed it.
- 12:00I felt like I was part of the team.
- 12:02My husband commanded a lot of different units to include,
- 12:06well, I mean everything from a company command battalion.
- 12:10He he commanded the 160th Special Operations Aviation
- 12:14Regiment. He commanded the division.
- 12:16But every step of the way, I loved the fact that I was part
- 12:21of his team, the two of us together.
- 12:24Were, you know, trying to have an impact on the whole unit, the
- 12:28soldiers, their families. I loved it.
- 12:31Now, not everybody does. You know, over the years I met
- 12:35other army spouses that chose not to participate as much.
- 12:41I found that by being part of his life, my husband's life, it
- 12:47made it so much more enjoyable for me.
- 12:49I didn't want to be on the outside looking in.
- 12:51I want to be in it all in. And and again, I think that
- 12:56bonded us too, because we went through these commands.
- 13:00We went through, you know, even deployments, you know, Desert
- 13:04Storm, He was a battalion commander.
- 13:07And so I was back home advocating for the families, you
- 13:10know, running the family support group.
- 13:12If I hadn't had that responsibility, that role, I
- 13:16think I would have been a little bit lost.
- 13:18I I just loved. I love being part of it, but I
- 13:21can't say that I ever felt like. Anyone put that on me, You know
- 13:28what I mean? I'd never really felt the
- 13:30pressure. And certainly as we evolved from
- 13:33the 70s to the 80s to the 90s, more and more I would see
- 13:38spouses that just simply would say I choose not to participate.
- 13:41So they would maybe have they would designate someone to run
- 13:45the family readiness group or whatever.
- 13:49And and more and more, you know, the spouses have jobs, careers,
- 13:54or they choose not to move with their spouse.
- 13:58The geographic bachelor, right? A team effort, yeah.
- 14:04Well The thing is, I I had Lieutenant Colonel, he was a
- 14:07Cobra pilot and and and talked about how you know his
- 14:11commander's wife and some of the other wives in the unit.
- 14:16Were were their right hand. I mean you know there were
- 14:18things that a wife could do to make things happen that and and
- 14:24smooth over things with you know the enlisted crew or the junior
- 14:29officers in a way they couldn't and and it seemed like they
- 14:33really became to rely on them to your point like like they were
- 14:36part of it. They all knew each other.
- 14:38They all understood what was going on and the the senior
- 14:42wives. Were able to navigate the army
- 14:44system to to help out in the way that a lot of people don't know
- 14:47about. Right.
- 14:49And and also, I mean now that I think about it, since you
- 14:53mentioned that as my husband went up in rank, you know all of
- 14:58a sudden one day he's he's a one star general, then two that
- 15:01suddenly he's a four-star general and the Vice Chief of
- 15:04Staff of the Army. And I had grown with him every
- 15:07step of the way, but as he went up and ranked, he needed.
- 15:12He needed me as his sounding board at the end of the day.
- 15:15He had a whole entourage of people around him, people that
- 15:19did for him, people that probably told him what he wanted
- 15:24to hear. He came home at the end of the
- 15:26day. I was that he always said that
- 15:29he was a general at the office and a Sergeant at the house or a
- 15:33private at the house, because I kind of ran things at home, but
- 15:36but I was there to to make sure, you know, that he was.
- 15:40Balanced and and his well-being that that's what I was looking
- 15:45out for in those last years probably the last 10 years he
- 15:48was in the army when he was you know high-ranking.
- 15:52I really wanted to be that for him that support that sounding
- 15:57board. So it's funny how over the years
- 16:02my role changed gradually and and by the time he was the Vice
- 16:07Chief of Staff of the army. Well, even before that, when he
- 16:11was a two star general, that's when our sons started coming
- 16:13into the Army after September 11th and they started deploying.
- 16:17And my husband and I will travel around visiting the spouses and
- 16:22families at the different posts across the United States.
- 16:26And as we met with them, he and I, we had such credibility with
- 16:32these families because our sons were over in Iraq.
- 16:36I mean, they were. To get twice our sons deployed
- 16:39in the same unit. So we were living what they were
- 16:43living. And I think it was, it was a
- 16:46real positive, oh, I don't know the word.
- 16:51They look to us like, OK, those two get it.
- 16:55We weren't just a general and a general's wife.
- 16:58We had kids that were deployed as well.
- 17:01And I think that was some of the most important work that Dick
- 17:04and I did together as a couple. And is the parents of soldiers
- 17:09during those war years. Yeah.
- 17:11Let me ask you about that because you know this is, this
- 17:14is you know not common for me or people.
- 17:18Your your husband flew the a 64 Apache.
- 17:21My Miami W was was Hawk. He might know what this is.
- 17:25It's a radar system to design and shoot down aircraft and and
- 17:28helicopters. So we got the practice against
- 17:30Apaches every now and then. But it's one thing to fly, put
- 17:35yourself in danger. It's another thing.
- 17:37Now you commanded people. What was it like for him to
- 17:41realize that his sons were taking on the same risk, dangers
- 17:45and hazards that he had taken on?
- 17:49And I mean, there had to be a different feeling for you both.
- 17:52But you're right, it was a turning point.
- 17:54I talk about that actually in each book.
- 17:58And that turning point came just after September 11th and our
- 18:02oldest son was in flight school at Fort Rucker.
- 18:06Our younger son was at Texas A&M and soon to go to flight school.
- 18:10They're only like 2 years behind each other.
- 18:13Anyway, our son that was in flight school called his dad and
- 18:18said dad, I want to come to the 101st if you're going to war.
- 18:22This is literally probably September 13th, right after the
- 18:26attacks. He said, if you're going to war,
- 18:28I'm going with you. Can you get me to the 101st?
- 18:31And so my husband hung up the phone and he turned to me and he
- 18:34said, Vicki, you know what do I do?
- 18:36And I said, well, if this is what he wants and and if at that
- 18:40point I thought my husband will go with the whole entire 101st
- 18:44Airborne Division. I said if you're going.
- 18:47And our son's going, I want you together.
- 18:48So I don't want Clint in some other unit that I don't, you
- 18:51know. So anyway, our son did come to
- 18:54the 101st. He deployed immediately, but my
- 18:57husband didn't. My, they kept the headquarters
- 18:59back. They only took, you know,
- 19:01certain units. But anyway, it was during that
- 19:04time that we realized it wasn't just fun and games.
- 19:09Oh, these these boys are going to follow in their dad's
- 19:12footsteps. I never dreamed it would.
- 19:15Involve combat deployments. I.
- 19:18Because when they were talking about joining September 11th
- 19:21hadn't happened. So in my mind I'm thinking oh
- 19:24this is wonderful. They're going to do like their
- 19:26dad, you know, they're going to fly helicopters.
- 19:28This is great. But boy, after September 11th,
- 19:31when the units started deploying and then the war started in
- 19:35Iraq, you know that's when. And I remember many nights when
- 19:40the war first started. And my husband.
- 19:43I was at home. We were there at Fort Myer and
- 19:47you know, the Pentagon was like 5 minutes away.
- 19:49And my husband would be pacing and he'd say, Vicki, I don't
- 19:52know what to do. I can't find out anything.
- 19:54I don't know where Clint's unit is.
- 19:56And I'd say go into the Pentagon, just go there and and
- 20:00find out anything you can. And how lucky we were that my
- 20:04husband, you know, kind of knew what was going on.
- 20:07But at the same time, we were like any other parent out there.
- 20:11We had a son deployed. We didn't know what the outcome
- 20:15was going to be. So at the end of the day, we
- 20:17were like all those other parents out there.
- 20:20And that was, that was, for me, such a a time of change in my
- 20:26life. And that's when I started
- 20:28writing. Literally.
- 20:30I started, I wrote a handbook for the Army to hand out to
- 20:34families, parents of soldiers, and then that led to the first
- 20:37book Army Wife. I had to do something with all
- 20:40that, you know, energy and you know all the the experiences.
- 20:44I just wanted to get it down on paper.
- 20:47So two questions before we go into the books, because the
- 20:49books are army, wife and fly safe.
- 20:54Your husband is a general journal.
- 20:57Not a Brigadier, not a one star, but a true four-star general,
- 21:00right? Yes.
- 21:02And your sons are what? Colonels and Lieutenant
- 21:04Colonels. OK, colonels.
- 21:06So you've watched their careers. Let me ask you something.
- 21:10As a wife and a mom. So I'm trying.
- 21:12I'm trying to just do 2 for one, OK.
- 21:15What was it like watching your husband get his bars?
- 21:21You know his boot Lieutenant butter bars, the gold bars
- 21:24versus when he got his four stars and.
- 21:28Is it any different from watching your sons move up in
- 21:30their careers and watching them get promoted?
- 21:33Did it feel any different? Yes, Yes.
- 21:38In that, you know, I look at our sons and I just think of them as
- 21:44as my boys, I think of them when they were kids growing up.
- 21:49And so it's it's just, you know like I'm always sitting there as
- 21:55kind of an out of body experience because I'm thinking
- 21:58like it it seems like yesterday my husband was pinning on new
- 22:02rank. Now we're pinning on rank on our
- 22:06sons and oh the the pride is unbelievable.
- 22:11I mean I've, I've always been proud of my husband.
- 22:14There's nobody more proud than me.
- 22:16But I have to say, when it's your son's, you just sit there
- 22:20and you're thinking, Oh my gosh, maybe we did something right.
- 22:24You know what I mean? Sometimes we just, we'll say
- 22:27that to each other. Like, we have to pat ourselves
- 22:30on the back and say, hey, I guess we did good because there
- 22:33were so many times during those growing up years when we were
- 22:36moving those kids all over the place, OK.
- 22:39They went to three high schools each.
- 22:41You know, if ever there were kids that that should have, you
- 22:45know, avoided the military, I was thinking these kids are
- 22:49never going to want to do that. You know, they're going to want
- 22:51to go settle down somewhere. But anyway, when we see them
- 22:55doing this now and they're such good leaders, our, our oldest
- 22:59son is a brigade commander at Fort Campbell.
- 23:02He commands the aviation brigade there.
- 23:05We're just so proud of everything he does.
- 23:08And. And our younger son is at the
- 23:09Pentagon, but he's going to go into command of a brigade next
- 23:13summer. And it's like, wow, it's it's
- 23:17just a kind of a a a good, weird sensation, yeah.
- 23:22Because these are the boys you you that you know had ear
- 23:26infections, stay up at night, you know got you know played
- 23:29pranks on mom. You know, right, right.
- 23:31All that stuff. If you'd be a lot of trouble
- 23:33when their dad was deployed they were a handful.
- 23:36I'm. Sure, I'm sure.
- 23:38And then what is it? It must be like a switch and all
- 23:40of a sudden you blink and all of a sudden you're pinning like
- 23:43like the. Silver Eagle on them.
- 23:46Yeah. Yeah, 'cause we just, the
- 23:48younger son just got promoted less than a year ago And so
- 23:53yeah, it is. It's but it's just it is so much
- 23:57fun for Dick and I now to live through it vicariously and and
- 24:04it's great because you know, we never wanted to be totally away
- 24:08from the army. It was hard when my husband
- 24:11retired. You know you it becomes a way of
- 24:13life. So we're getting to live it
- 24:15again through the eyes of our sons, our daughter in And thank
- 24:28goodness we've lived this long. So I'll ask you a question about
- 24:34your daughter in law's in a minute, but you're you're going
- 24:37through this part of your life and and September 11th happens
- 24:41and you start writing the book. What was your intention when you
- 24:46started writing? Was it just to have a way to to,
- 24:49I don't know, cope and deal with what was going on in your life
- 24:53and record it? Or were you trying to achieve a
- 24:57bigger goal? Well, initially it was the
- 24:59bigger goal. Yeah.
- 25:01So I was part of a group of of spouses here in DC when the war
- 25:07started in Iraq. They set up these toll free
- 25:11hotlines for families to call into.
- 25:13Because you have to remember, you know, we had the military
- 25:17had not deployed this many, you know, units since I don't know
- 25:23when. Well, so I think since World War
- 25:252 and yet the National Guard, the reserves, everybody's
- 25:28heading over for the big war. So they set up the toll free
- 25:31hotline. So once a week I'd go and sit in
- 25:33this little phone bank in Washington, DC and answer
- 25:36phones. And every single week I would
- 25:41come home and say to Dick, I'm answering the same kind of basic
- 25:45questions with these, and it was mostly parents and grandparents
- 25:48calling in. It wasn't spouses because I I
- 25:51realized we've done a lot for the spouses over the years and
- 25:54there's all kinds of pamphlets, handouts.
- 25:57The spouse is usually somewhere near the unit, so they had the
- 26:00information. But we were getting calls from
- 26:02parents and grandparents, and we had this big thick notebook that
- 26:06we would leaf through to answer the questions.
- 26:09So I just realized, what if I wrote a small handbook that
- 26:15consolidated a bunch of information that would guide
- 26:19parents through deployments through the army?
- 26:22It was all basic, the kinds of things I've been answering, but
- 26:27at the same time give them personal experiences because
- 26:30I've already lived through it with my husband and now with our
- 26:33sons. So I wrote this little 64 page
- 26:36booklet. It's called Your Soldier, Your
- 26:38Army, A Parent's Guide. Now it's called Your Soldier,
- 26:42Your Army, a Family Guide. And I went to AUSA, the
- 26:46Association of the United States Army, and I said, would you
- 26:50publish this and hand it out for free?
- 26:54And they. And sure enough, they did.
- 26:55They loved the idea. There was nothing out there.
- 26:58That little booklet has gone out to over 500,000 people.
- 27:03It's been printed in Spanish. It was it took off like and
- 27:09that's when we knew people were starved for information about
- 27:12deployments, about the the army, just all those things.
- 27:18So as soon as I wrote that book and saw that how I could reach
- 27:23people with the written word, then I started thinking, well,
- 27:27maybe I should write a a big book about my life as an army
- 27:31wife. And then this was also when our
- 27:34son started deploying like repeatedly.
- 27:37They would come back for 12 months, go back over and it was
- 27:41pretty stressful. So that's when I decide.
- 27:44So I realized then that the writing had become a coping
- 27:49mechanism for me. It was a way to get all of that
- 27:52out there. But that very first endeavor,
- 27:54because I never knew I was going to be a writer, I didn't know I
- 27:57could do this. But when I wrote that little
- 27:59booklet and people from all over the world contacted me,
- 28:03including soldiers, and they would say thank you for writing
- 28:07this, you've you've given me a way to explain to my family what
- 28:12I'm doing. That's when I knew, you know
- 28:15what, the power of the written word, there's nothing like it.
- 28:19You know you can do. Because at one point they said,
- 28:22well, why don't you just do like put that on the Internet, the
- 28:26information. I said no, there's still people
- 28:29out there that want a handbook that they carry around with
- 28:33them, that they can read and flip through from time to time.
- 28:37And I want to do old school, you know, I didn't want just an
- 28:41e-book. I wanted hard copy.
- 28:43And anyway, so that's what led me down this path.
- 28:47So that's your first book. Now now.
- 28:50Correct me if I'm wrong here. Which one was second?
- 28:52Army wife or fly safe then army wife.
- 28:55I wrote that, you know, as a complete memoir my whole the 33
- 29:00years of being an army wife. And and I loved doing that.
- 29:05It took me forever. It took me years because I
- 29:07didn't really know what I was doing at that point.
- 29:11Once. That got published in 2016.
- 29:15Soon after I came across all the letters that my husband had
- 29:20written me when he was in Desert Storm and I had 94 letters that
- 29:25he wrote me. And that's when I thought, you
- 29:28know what, I want to write a book that is literally just
- 29:31about that one year deployment when he was in Desert Storm and
- 29:36and the title came from I I used to, you know say to him in the
- 29:40letters or if I got to talk to him on the phone.
- 29:42I've always said fly safe and I say it to the boys and so that's
- 29:46how the title came to be for that book.
- 29:49And that's based on his letters and my journals from Desert
- 29:53Storm all. Right.
- 29:54So let's start with army wife first before we get to fly safe.
- 29:57Because I'm a big helicopter nut so I got tons of questions.
- 30:00Oh, OK. You you write army wife.
- 30:04Have you ever had another army wife, whether it's junior
- 30:08enlisted or junior officer, come up to you and talk to you about
- 30:12army wife and what that book meant to them?
- 30:15Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, I I always, I get
- 30:20feedback. Still, you know, my books I want
- 30:25to say are are kind of timeless because there's always a new
- 30:29group of spouses coming in or guys like to read my books too,
- 30:35you know, because I make them historically correct and enough
- 30:39action with helicopters and stuff.
- 30:42But Oh yeah, I in fact, just last spring when I was at the
- 30:47big Army aviation convention, I go to it every year and I set up
- 30:52a little, you know, thing and sell my books.
- 30:56There was a brand new Army wife. Her husband brought her over and
- 31:00they'd only been married like six months.
- 31:03And he was so excited. He wanted to buy a copy of the
- 31:06book. And I mean, she just kept
- 31:08looking at it and she said, I can't wait to read this.
- 31:11I've heard from so many people that it's really going to help
- 31:13me and that that just makes my day.
- 31:16When I hear from, you know, a young spouse like that or
- 31:19sometimes I hear from someone from my generation and they'll
- 31:22say, oh, it was so much fun reading either of your books
- 31:26because it takes them back to a time when, you know, their
- 31:29husband was serving. And yeah, so I I want to think
- 31:32that that my, all of my books, you know, give other military
- 31:40service members and their spouses something to relate to.
- 31:45But just as important, I love it when civilians read my books and
- 31:49say, oh wow, you know, I never realized that's what it's like
- 31:53or I never knew that about military life or about service.
- 31:58So to me, it's it's I I like to have both audiences because I
- 32:04want to shine the spotlight on this way of life and how great
- 32:08it is and how great it can be, but how it also comes at a cost
- 32:13often times. So I I try to be very relatable,
- 32:18realistic, the good and the bad, and just hope that I'm reaching
- 32:23people out there that need to read these.
- 32:26Because it seems to me and I I I was not married fully when I was
- 32:30in the Marine Corps. But it seems to me that the
- 32:33themes don't really change from the Civil War, even to the next
- 32:3850 years. You're going to have somebody,
- 32:39whether it's a husband or wife, son or daughter, go away
- 32:43somewhere, a long way away, and there's a void while that
- 32:47person's away. They feel it because they're not
- 32:49around. Their loved one and the loved
- 32:52one feels it because they're not there and there's worry and
- 32:55concern and and stress around anything from, you know, the the
- 32:59the the car battery dying up to a kid getting sick and you've
- 33:04seen that in in every flavor. I would have to imagine over
- 33:08your time, what's how Have you looked at a problem or challenge
- 33:15and said I'm going to deal with this and find that reservoir
- 33:18strength to deal with it. I mean, I can't think of anyone
- 33:27specific, you know, I think I must have possessed this early
- 33:35on being able to adapt. And, you know, like from the
- 33:41very first time that my husband deployed, we postponed the
- 33:45wedding. You know, I I was at the
- 33:48University of Vermont. I'm in my sorority house.
- 33:51The phone rings, you know, hey, Vicki, you know, it's Lieutenant
- 33:55Cody. And he says to me cancel the
- 33:58wedding. I'm going away.
- 34:00And I said, well, what do you mean, I'm deploying?
- 34:02I said, what's deploying? You know, I thought Vietnam was
- 34:05over. You know, this was April 75.
- 34:08So anyway, that very first time, and I didn't really freak out, I
- 34:13remember saying, well, OK, are you going to be OK?
- 34:16Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just watch the news.
- 34:17I'll be fine. You know, don't worry about me.
- 34:20And I remember thinking, wow, all my friends are getting
- 34:22married that summer and I'm waiting around for, you know,
- 34:26word to come back when he's going to, you know, finish over.
- 34:29He ended up in Guam so early on, and I can't say I was happy
- 34:35about it, you know, I mean, I was pretty, you know, I was
- 34:39upset. You know, that's a hard thing to
- 34:41do, to cancel your plans and think, you know, And then after
- 34:46that it was like probably every few years something would come
- 34:49up like that where just when I thought, oh, we're having a baby
- 34:53or or, you know, we're having a second baby and then Dick says,
- 34:56well, I gotta go do this. And then he would always get
- 34:58involved in these special operations missions and stuff.
- 35:03So I learned to accept it, adapt and and I would always tell
- 35:09spouses whenever I was in a position, you know, of
- 35:12leadership or whatever. As a commander's wife, I'd say,
- 35:17you know, if you dig in your heels and say I'm not going to
- 35:20do this or I quit, it's not going to go well for you.
- 35:23I, you know, I would just always tell them, just go with it, get
- 35:27through these rough times because when you come out of a
- 35:31challenging time or a rough time, it's always so much
- 35:34sweeter on the other side. So that's pretty much how I
- 35:38always did it. I write about, you know, a
- 35:42couple of times, like during Desert Storm in the book Fly
- 35:47Safe. My husband, he actually fired
- 35:50the first shots of that war. He went in with a team of
- 35:53Apaches and and they went in behind enemy lines and you know,
- 35:57blew up the radar sites and all that.
- 35:59Luckily I didn't go in at the time, but I had some low points
- 36:04when he sent all his belongings back.
- 36:07So I knew something was coming up where he was going to be
- 36:09doing something dangerous. And I remember a couple of times
- 36:12where I just went in my room and thought, I can't do this.
- 36:18I I quit, you know, And then it's like the phone would ring
- 36:22and you know, it would be a spouse.
- 36:24Hey, you know, Vicki, could you help us do this?
- 36:27And then it's like before I knew when I was involved in something
- 36:29else and I got through my rough patch and then I helped other
- 36:32people get through theirs. So there were, there were times
- 36:35over the years and and couple of times with our sons when I
- 36:39thought, I can't do this anymore, I'm done, I'm tired,
- 36:43you know. Then it's like you get up the
- 36:45next day and I guess I tend to be a positive person.
- 36:49I I try to put a positive spin on things and find the silver
- 36:53lining in all of this, but. But it seems like it's it's all
- 36:57the foundation is attitude. If if you have the fetus
- 37:02attitude or I'm going to quit attitude, you're done like you
- 37:05said, but you had an attitude that hey, I'm going to meet
- 37:09this, figure it out one step at a time and go through this.
- 37:13It's almost, it's almost like Vicky, that you truly are a
- 37:16general. You know, you you are, you know,
- 37:19fully Army strong. Yeah.
- 37:22And you know, Travis, my husband is that way, too.
- 37:25Dick Cody is probably the most upbeat person you will ever
- 37:28meet. So that's infectious.
- 37:31You know, it's like no matter what's going on, Dick will
- 37:35always say to me, Vicki, you're not dying or Vicki, nobody's
- 37:39shooting at me. He would, he would come home
- 37:42from the Pentagon, like during those war years.
- 37:45Maybe he got, you know, verbally beat up by Rumsfeld or somebody.
- 37:50You know, it it was a rough time to be at the Pentagon as a
- 37:53general because my husband was always fighting for the good of
- 37:56the soldiers and and there was an awful lot of bureaucracy and
- 38:00and political stuff going on. He'd come home from the office
- 38:04and he'd say, I told my staff today, nobody's shooting at us,
- 38:09so it can't be that bad. Or he'll just say nobody's dying
- 38:13and then it's like, well, he's right.
- 38:16So anyway, it's very infectious. He's a very positive person.
- 38:21You know, when you think about it, that's, you know that now
- 38:24that's a motivating speech from an officer.
- 38:27Yeah. Hey, hey, Marines.
- 38:28No one's shooting us like, so what's 130 degrees outside?
- 38:35No one? Exactly.
- 38:36Yeah. Yeah, that's what he always.
- 38:41Says, Oh my God, that's a riot. That is an absolute riot.
- 38:44I mean, I love it. And it was just good to see as
- 38:48I'm I'm going through and reading about you and I'm really
- 38:51glad you know Andy reached out to to connect us and I'm like
- 38:56this is we need to hear more of this because it seems to me that
- 39:00a lot of look you know even unless it I've watched the E6's
- 39:04and E7's come in the barracks room with their C bag stuff went
- 39:08bad and it went really bad and and it was just a really big
- 39:11wake up call that. And there's other people
- 39:14involved in this stuff. You know, as you got through
- 39:18rotting fly safe, which, you know, my thing is the Apache to
- 39:22me is, is everybody talks about the Osprey or the new F35 and
- 39:27all with the toys the Air Force, the Navy have.
- 39:30But the Apache is still a unique aircraft platform.
- 39:34Like there's nothing like it. It takes a special kind of
- 39:37person to fly it too, with what is required mentally to be able
- 39:41to fly a helicopter. In the first place.
- 39:45So the the reason I say this is I I read Robert Mason's book
- 39:48called Chicken Hawk and it was about, yeah, I haven't read it,
- 39:52but like my husband, both sons, everybody reads that, yeah.
- 39:55I I read the Marine Corps and found out from Army guys that
- 39:58that is like that was at one point required reading for all
- 40:01army aviators. But he talks about how his wife,
- 40:05Patience, would help him go through preflight checks on.
- 40:10Did you ever do that with your husband?
- 40:12You know, help him go through the.
- 40:14No, but Travis, actually, I I became a pilot.
- 40:17I at the at the age of I think I was 32 when the kids went off to
- 40:22school, when I when the youngest one went to preschool and we
- 40:25were at Fort Leavenworth, KS and my husband was finally in school
- 40:29in a job that was dependable and he was home every evening.
- 40:32I went through flight training and got my private pilot's
- 40:35license. Because I wanted to be, I wanted
- 40:39to be part of his world and and at the time we had just bought a
- 40:42a small 4 seater Cessna and so I really did need to learn about
- 40:48it if we were going to be flying our kids around.
- 40:50But I decided to go ahead and get my license.
- 40:53I wanted to be part of that world.
- 40:55I wanted to know what it was like and it gave me a whole new
- 40:58understanding of your whole company license.
- 41:01No, I I've never flown the other.
- 41:03OK, but but so. Airplanes.
- 41:06I mean, just. I didn't know that.
- 41:08Thanks for letting that slip. That's awesome.
- 41:10That's an army wife, you. I think you need to read it.
- 41:13OK, no, I I didn't get a chance to.
- 41:15Go with your flight training. It was a riot because I never,
- 41:19jeez, I never thought I could do something like that.
- 41:21I wasn't a straight A student. I'm not mechanical.
- 41:24But you know what? That was one of those cases
- 41:26where I did everything I was told.
- 41:29I practiced. I did everything step by step.
- 41:32And then I did it. I had courage.
- 41:34I didn't know I had all right, so I I didn't get a chance to
- 41:38read Army Army Wife. What was it like when you took
- 41:41your husband solo for the first time in the plane?
- 41:46OK, he was really proud of me and he used, he used to get so
- 41:50worried because I would go out with my instructor and fly.
- 41:55And then when I reached the point where I had to do my three
- 41:57solo little cross country trips, you know, go from state to state
- 42:02and we're out there in Kansas and I had to go to Nebraska and
- 42:04Missouri and all these places. My husband was so worried about
- 42:08me. He'd pick the kids up at school
- 42:10and then they'd go out to the airfield and he would pace up
- 42:13and down on the tarmac waiting. And sometimes he would say to
- 42:17me, Vicki, you don't have to do this.
- 42:20And I didn't know I got to do it.
- 42:22And then other times I'd get scared.
- 42:23I'd say, Dick, I don't know if I can do it.
- 42:25Yes, you can do it. And I remember the day that I
- 42:27passed my check ride. We landed and I've.
- 42:31Got my license, I get out of the cockpit, I'll never forget I'm
- 42:35walking towards him. He had the biggest smile and he
- 42:38just gave me this big thumbs up and he said, Vicki, you really
- 42:41did it. It was great.
- 42:43It was fun. That that is that is awesome.
- 42:46I mean, this is what I'm talking about.
- 42:47Vicki. Like if that's not love, what
- 42:49is? You're like, you know, bring me
- 42:52to the light. This is this is amazing.
- 42:54This is amazing. So look, ladies and gentlemen,
- 42:57I'm on with Vicki Cody, army wife, multi author, mom of two
- 43:02awesome army pilots. You know, Vicky, do you have a
- 43:06website where we can connect with you outside of this awesome
- 43:10conversation? Yes, so my website is just
- 43:14www.vickycody.com. That's VICKICOD y.com.
- 43:22I'm on Facebook. Just Vicky Cody.
- 43:24You can Google me, you know Vicky Cody, army wife.
- 43:29But my website has you can read excerpts from my books and also
- 43:35how to order that. That one that's free, that's
- 43:38still out there. Your soldier.
- 43:40Your army, a family guide. You can download that or you can
- 43:44order it for free. It's still, you know, making the
- 43:48rounds. It's still got some good
- 43:49information in it. But you know, my books are
- 43:52available wherever books are sold.
- 43:54They're on Amazon. So I hope.
- 43:57I hope people will check them out.
- 44:00This has just been an amazing conversation, you know?
- 44:03I mean. You're so nice.
- 44:06I feel like I'm just chatting with an old friend this well I'm
- 44:09I'm like this is just the best part of doing this.
- 44:12It it is. And you know, I'm having a great
- 44:15time and and I I wanted you to know that, you know, Well, my
- 44:20first thought is like as an army wife or military wife, what
- 44:24haven't you done? I mean, you you fly.
- 44:26You're an author. You're a supporter.
- 44:28You're you're a mom of two army aviators, husband's an army
- 44:31aviator. So you've done all this stuff.
- 44:34What's next for you? Are you are you're not you're
- 44:37you're obviously not, you know, not moving.
- 44:39You're definitely doing something.
- 44:41What is that something? OK, so I just started.
- 44:45Writing a new book, and this is so far out of my comfort comfort
- 44:49zone. But this is going to appeal to
- 44:51you because I'm writing about a Marine who was injured in Iraq
- 44:59outside of Fallujah. And Adam Kislevski.
- 45:04OK, he He was injured in 2005 and he ended up climbing Mount
- 45:11Kilimanjaro about six months ago.
- 45:14OK, so I'm writing about his journey.
- 45:17He lost an arm and a leg. He's been part of our lives.
- 45:21He helps my husband with some of the nonprofit things that we do.
- 45:24And anyway, Adam has just been such an important part of our
- 45:29lives, and he's such an inspiration that I decided I was
- 45:33going to try to. I've written enough about Dick
- 45:35and Vicki Cody and our kids. So I thought, you know what?
- 45:38This is a story that needs to be told.
- 45:40But it's so hard for me because. I don't understand the Marines
- 45:45the way I understand Army, so it's taking me a little bit of
- 45:50time, but I'm determined to see this through and get Adam's
- 45:55story out there because I just feel like it's really important.
- 45:58And my editor that's been with me for, for my other books, she
- 46:02said, Vicki, you have to grow as an author.
- 46:04You can't just go back to your comfort zone writing about you
- 46:07and Dick. You got to try something new.
- 46:10So it's a big challenge for me. And there's some days when I
- 46:12think, I don't know if I can do this, but I'm determined I'm
- 46:15going to try. And then Travis, I'm going to
- 46:18contact you because when I get that book ready, that would be a
- 46:21great conversation again. Yes, absolutely 100%.
- 46:28And and don't worry, Vicki, you're not the only Army
- 46:31personnel or wife who's looked at Marines and said I I'm just,
- 46:35I got nothing. I'm drawing a blank here.
- 46:37I mean we don't even understand ourselves sometimes.
- 46:40So you're you're not alone. You're not alone.
- 46:42It's. OK.
- 46:44It's OK. It's, it's completely fine.
- 46:47That is going to be an amazing story.
- 46:50Yes, I'd like to have you back on.
- 46:52Absolutely. I mean, 'cause that was that was
- 46:55a real special story about, you know, him overcoming adversity.
- 47:00Right. And and you know, to kind of
- 47:02wind this down, I think this is the theme, you know, where I
- 47:05started resonating with what you're doing is there is this
- 47:08theme of attitude, adaptability through adversity.
- 47:13And you know a lot of us veterans, a lot of active duty
- 47:17people get, you know, in a in a bind.
- 47:20Challenges overwhelm us and it seems like we can't move
- 47:24forward. And I think you're a lesson that
- 47:27that we can all learn from. Right.
- 47:30Right. And that's what I'm that's what
- 47:32I'm you know, hoping comes from this latest because my other two
- 47:36books were about me or my husband.
- 47:40You know what we faced and how we got through it, but for this
- 47:44young? Marine What he went through is
- 47:47unlike anything I could ever imagine.
- 47:50And this kid, Adam, he went on to get his master's degree.
- 47:56He's a, he's a pilot. He got his pilot's license with
- 48:00one arm and one leg and he does all this work, nonprofit work
- 48:05for other wounded warriors and veterans.
- 48:09And I I'm just, I'm just amazed by this young man.
- 48:12And so that's why. You know I'm passionate about
- 48:16his story and hopefully I can do it justice.
- 48:19Well, I gotta tell you, you know, Vicki, I, I, I'm, I'm a
- 48:23little younger than you. I don't want to say how much,
- 48:25but I'm thinking myself. You know, I've got no excuse
- 48:28when I'm feeling tired or run down.
- 48:30I mean you you're, I don't know what batteries you're using.
- 48:33Maybe they're Energizer, I don't know.
- 48:35But I mean you are truly OM. I mean, you're truly on the move
- 48:40and it just seems to be something that that you've
- 48:43really embraced. Oh, I I do my, I do my share of
- 48:48sitting around and and procrastinating and thinking,
- 48:53oh, why am I going to try to write this book?
- 48:55Nobody's going to buy it. Nobody's going to read it.
- 48:59No, I'm just, you know, I I try to be upbeat and I just actually
- 49:04had hip surgery a couple of months ago.
- 49:07Not a hip replacement, but some tendons.
- 49:09I'm I'm an avid skier. We're skiers and I think years
- 49:12of of skiing. But anyway, that was the
- 49:16toughest challenge that I've been through to have an issue
- 49:20like that where I had to stay on the couch for six weeks and I
- 49:22was in a brace and all that. So I'm just coming out of that
- 49:25and I'm like raring to go. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
- 49:33Last question, to kind of wind this down, OK, your husband
- 49:38served for a long time for his country.
- 49:41Your sons are serving their country.
- 49:44Do you see your grandchildren keeping this going and it do you
- 49:50think so? I think so.
- 49:53We have 4 grandsons. I have a feeling maybe one or
- 49:59two out of the four. Yeah, I don't know that all four
- 50:03of them will. But our our oldest son actually
- 50:10married a W Pointer and she served two tours in Iraq as
- 50:16well. And their sons are the ones that
- 50:19I think probably would serve because they're just a little
- 50:23bit more gung ho maybe, you know, having both parents,
- 50:27having served. But you know what?
- 50:30Whatever they choose, I'm all about, you know, I just want
- 50:33them to be happy and find something that.
- 50:36You know it. They're passionate about the way
- 50:39my husband has been passionate and both of our sons.
- 50:43You know, to find something like that in life and and for me, my
- 50:46passion is my writing. You know it.
- 50:49It's the the greatest blessing. If you raise kids that that find
- 50:54something they want to do, if it's service to the nation,
- 50:57that's great too. But if it isn't you know, I just
- 51:00want them to have a passion and follow it.
- 51:03Fantastic, fantastic. So look folks, Speaking of of
- 51:08husbands and and relationships you know husband is on a mission
- 51:12for Vicki right now and we'll be back soon.
- 51:15So we're going to wind this down.
- 51:17You know Vicki, one of the themes for this year in Austin
- 51:21Mike radio has been realizing how much I don't know and and
- 51:25being able to talk with someone like yourself and learn so much
- 51:28and in this time we have together.
- 51:31It is the best part about doing this.
- 51:32I just want to thank you for sharing with me so warmly and
- 51:35candidly and yes you are coming back on where we will make that
- 51:39happen one way or the other it's going to happen and all the best
- 51:43on on your running journey. Thank you.
- 51:46Well, thank you. I, I really enjoyed it.
- 51:48Travis, you're like a dream host.
- 51:50I mean, you, you asked just the right questions, just enough
- 51:54questions and and I, I hope I didn't talk too much because
- 51:57it's like if given the opportunity, I'll just keep
- 51:59talking. But you've been the perfect host
- 52:02and I really enjoyed talking with you.
- 52:05I felt like we were just having a conversation between 2 old
- 52:07friends. Well, that's the whole point.
- 52:09And just a little extra here is I don't wanna cut my guest off.
- 52:15I want you to be able to talk about something that's important
- 52:18to you if you really jive the question right.
- 52:21So I don't wanna be like well hey, she got 9 seconds.
- 52:24On the next one, I want you to be able to, you know, get in the
- 52:28comfort zone and do that. So this this is great.
- 52:31This is great and I it. Was very comfortable for me and
- 52:33I I so appreciate the platform and and getting a chance to to
- 52:37talk about army life military life.
- 52:40So thank you so much. Well, I will have Vicky's
- 52:44website and all the links to her books and OM Radio website post.
- 52:48You've heard her here, folks. She's got another book coming
- 52:50out and we'll be back on OM Radio Vicky, as we say in OM
- 52:54Radio Mission Flight. Thank you and I'll see you soon.
- 52:57OK, thanks. Join us on National Wreaths
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