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PRETTY RESILIENT - Moving Past Your Limiting Beliefs with Daniela Pierre-Bravo · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The following podcast is a dear media production.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: pretty strong.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: I'm Danielle Robe and each.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Week my guests and I have conversations that put a
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: new spin on pretty. This is pretty smart. Danielle Pierre
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Bravo made it against all odds. She's a highly accomplished
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: TV producer for MSNBC, co authored Earn It with MSNBC
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: anchor Mika Brazinski, and launched her own mentorship platform, Excesso Community.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Here's the twist. Daniello was a dreamer originally from Chile.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: She was raised in a small rural town in Ohio
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: and found out when she was a teenager that she
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: was undocumented, forced to live in the shadows. But she
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: is the living, breathing example of make no excuses. Unable
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: to work, drive, or receive assistance for college. Daniella explains
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: how she managed to graduate finding endless side jobs that
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: paid in cash and wait until you hear the crazy
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: lengths she went to to get a job with Ditty's
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Bad Boy Entertainment in New York When she wasn't even
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: allowed on a plane financial insecurity, she overcame it limiting beliefs,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: kiss them goodbye. If you need a little inspiration to
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: kick life into high gear, consider this episode your lift ticket. So, Danielle,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: you had a seemingly normal first generation upbringing in Ohio
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: and then your world was completely turned upside down. Can
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: you take me to the moment that you learned of
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: your undocumented status?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, define normal. I come from a Latino family.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Is so crazy and Latina. I don't know if it
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: messes too well the no. On a serious note, it
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: was a tough time. I mean, I grew up in
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: a very small town in the middle of Ohio, pretty conservative,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: pretty white, and I had a lot of trouble kind
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: of coming to terms with my own idea, entity and
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: sense of belonging. And so when I figured out when
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I found out that I was undocumented, as somebody who
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: is really type A oldest of five, saw my parents,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: you know, blood, sweat and tears go into their work,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: you know, two and three jobs, and you know, feeling
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: like I was going to be the first to go
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: to college and do all these things and then feel
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: the weight of what it meant to be undocumented. I mean,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: it was just completely devastating, and I feel like now,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: just now, in these past couple of years, people kind
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: of understood what being undocumented means. Right, you can't get
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: a driver's license, you can't work, You're completely in the shadows.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: But even back then, in high school, I mean, I
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: had nobody that I could tell my experience to, and
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: so that was really hard. I was dealing with the
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: harsh realities of actually not being able to do things
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: like apply for college, find scholarships. But then I was
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: dealing with this whole internal psychological mess of who am I.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I was internalizing feelings of not being enough, not belonging,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: and then of not being worthy literally of sort of
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: taking up space because of my undocumented status. So there
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: was a lot going on, and as a young person
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: trying to figure themselves out and wanting to do the
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: things that they tell you to do, right excel, get
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: good grades, get.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Involved doing those things.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: And then seeing closed door after closed door, it was
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: pretty I mean, you know, discouraging. But this is one
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: of the things that I think a lot of first
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: generation immigrants know is that you've got to pave the
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: path without the playbook.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: And that's sort of what I did, or try to do.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: At least you've got to pave the path without the playbook.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: I've never heard it put that way.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I think so many people who are first in anything
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: are the only feel that. So when did you actually
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: find out you were undocumented? Like you came home from
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: high school one day and your parents were like, actually
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: have something to tell you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I get that question a lot, and
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I've talked to other people in my situation, and I'm
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: going to be honest with you, I don't remember one
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: specific conversation that we had and you've I think it's
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: important to understand sort of the context of my life
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: back then. I mean, we were a family where chaos
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: was everywhere. Because when you're an immigrant and your parents
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: have no professional networks to tap into, you've kept to
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: start and work from your bootstraps.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: There's no time for.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: These like talks like and I think we were all
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: sort of in survival mode, right. We were all just
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: worry about doing the next thing and working on the
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: one thing. And I think I think there was a
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: lot of times where it was in my face that
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I was undocumented. But I think part of me, and
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I'm realizing this now, but I was in denial I
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: think there was a lot of times that I might
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: have heard that I was on doc coumented or that
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't have papers and I couldn't do this and
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I couldn't do that from my parents, right. But I
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: think part of me just subconsciously was like, Nope, I
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: don't want to hear that, or Nope, I'm not going
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: to let myself believe that. But it's interesting because it
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: was that sort of self talk that allowed me to
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: keep going and to keep knocking down doors. But that's
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: not to say that it didn't come and haunt me, right,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: because I had all this sort of unconscious sort of
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: things bubbling under the surface, internalized bias against you know,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: being undocumented and what it meant and what did it
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: say about my worthiness, And I never got to deal
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: with it until recently, to be honest, because I was
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: just sort of in this survival mode of just like okay,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: like I need to get you know, these cash paying jobs.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I need to be able to go to college. I
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: need to get on a bus to get an unpetty internship.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Like there were all these things that I was just
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: doing in order to just survive in my environment, which
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: is a long way of explaining you know, no, we
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: didn't have that one sort of sit down talk about
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: my status. It was just me dodging the reality many
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: times to be able to keep going.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I really understand that.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I think it probably became very clear to you when
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: you were trying to go to college, right, because I've
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: heard you talk about not being able to apply for scholarships.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Can you tell me about that.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I was junior in high school getting
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: ready to apply to college, sort of knew about my
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: own documented status, but.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: It didn't really hit me.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: The big kind of wall didn't hit me until I
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: started getting rejected because of the fact that I didn't
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: have an answer to the citizenship question, and so that
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: automatically disqualified me. And I remember, you know, being recruited
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: for this program at Miami University, which was basically the
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: guidance counselor would pick a minority in the high school
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: who did well, you know, had good grades, was really involved,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: and so I sort of fit that bill.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: And the whole thing was to go to the campus.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: They would kind of host you for three days, and
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: at the end of the stay they would give you
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: two thousand dollars per semester. If you decided to apply
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: while you were there. Because it was a paper application,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't fill anything out in the citizenship question and
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: they didn't ask and so somehow I was able to
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: sort of go to school. But that didn't mean that
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I had any of the financial help that I needed.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, I still had to pay everything in cash.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Talk about you know, knowing the value of a dollar.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I paid with everything in cash. So that was sort
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: of the technical way that I was able to get
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: into school.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: But I want to dig into that. I just I can't.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I have to stop you. I'm shocked at that. That's
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: a defining moment in your life. You know, had you
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: not gone to Miami for that program, who knows what
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: would have happened.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that's such a great point.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: And I think that you know, there was so much
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: uncertainty back then, and I kind of related to this
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: sort of crazy time that we're in now.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: You know, there's so much uncertainty.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Like the thing is is that the way that I
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: operated back then is sort of the same way that
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I tell myself with this sort of uncertain path we
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: have forward, is that you can only control what you
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: can control. So it was really hard in high school,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: kind of knowing that when I get to the point
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: of having to apply for college, there wasn't going to
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: be that open path for me, but still having kind
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: of the stamina and the determination of still wanting to
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: get involved, of still trying to find private scholarships, you know,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and so it's it was for me. It was kind
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: of paving the way forward in little, tiny ways and
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: creative ways where you know that again going back to
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: what I said before, without having that playbook, but realizing
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: that you just have to figure it out for yourself,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: which is not the easy way, and it's not how
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I hope that's not how every single first generation student feels.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: But you know, it's hard and I did the best
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: that I could in the best way that I knew.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: How back then, the irony is not lost on me
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: that you were quite literally not allowed to have a voice,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: and now you've made a profession out of using your voice,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: which is really just full circle.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I think about myself in college.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: To be honest, I had a lot of guidance and help,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: and I just I don't know how you figured it out.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I heard you tell this story about an internship that
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: i'd love for you to tell because I just think
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: it's incredibly inspiring.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Do you mind recalling that.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: How I got my first unpaid internship.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: Fun times.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: So I was again before DACA, you know, in this
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: world of like trying to figure things out without having
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: the playbook. And I was so excited because I had
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: made it to.
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: The end of junior year.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I had one semester to go because I ended up,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: you know, getting college credit in high school so that
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't have to pay that much of.
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: A college tuition.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Right I was trying to get out of there and
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: get get into the real world right away. But again, undocumented,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't have Even if I would have, you know,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: graduated from college, I couldn't use my diploma.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: What we was I going to use it with? What
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: was I going to use it?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: At?
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: Here?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I was. I was like, Okay, I made it through college.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Let's go big. It's go big or go home. So
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, if I'm going to be anywhere that
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to get judged, where I can try
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: to be myself, where I can go after my big
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: goals and dreams, it's going to be in New York City.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: At the time, I was still in this small town
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: in Ohio. So I said, Okay, I am going to
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: try to literally apply to everywhere and anywhere that I
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: can that has unpaid internships because it was the only
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: thing that I could get because I didn't have I
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: didn't have paperwork. And so Daniel I applied to like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: boutique pr agencies and jewelry companies and just literally anywhere,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: went on rabbit holes online and perfected my resume. I
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: mean I was like day after day up until three am,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: just like perfecting every little margin on the resume. I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: had some big, some big internships that I applied to,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: like MTV Networks and P.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: Ditty's Bad Boy Entertainment.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: And here I was in the library studying for an
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: exam and I get the two one two number calling
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: my phone and I'm like, holy heck, oh my god,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I run out of the library and
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: it's it's one of the hiring managers at A. P.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: Ditty's company. So she called. She we we're talking.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: She's going over my qualifications and this is the one
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: thing on my resume that I tweaked just a little bit.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I did my research and I thought, okay, I am
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: probably not going to get called back if they know
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: that I'm in the middle of Ohio and the internship
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: starts in two weeks, so I'm going to put a
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: New York City address. I think I ended up putting
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: like the Columbia dorms or one of the dorms of
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: the colleges that were in New York City. And so,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: long story short, the hiring manager says, Oh, we see
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: that you're local. Can you come in for an interview
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: for a second round interview tomorrow?
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: And I'm like so excited. Of course, I'm like, yell yes.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Without even thinking about it, I hang up immediately panic.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: I'm like, how the heck am I going to get
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: to New York City.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: You can't get on an airplane, right.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Get on an airplane, don't have a state I d
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: don't have a driver's license, couldn't drive obviously, And I
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: was like, holy but I'm not gonna I'm not going
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: to lose a shot, Like I have to make something
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: out of this. So I ended up never been on
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: a Greyhound bus before, got on a bus that like
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: a few hours later from Cincinnati all the way to
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Port Authority was like eighteen hours nine stops along the way.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I had like pray that I had timed it right
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: to get there for the internship interview. I get to
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Port Authority clean. Have you ever been to Port Authority Danielle?
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, Yes, it's.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: Like the grossest place on earth.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: So it's like in the bathroom changing watching like my face,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: putting on makeup, running across Time Square.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: I had never been, you know, in this area before.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: You're like, Time Square is huge? How do I even
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: find where I'm supposed to be?
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: And this was like pre uber days.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't know how taxis worked, so I was like
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I had I remember, I had printed out map quest.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: I was like Ford Authority trying to figure out where
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: this building was. But anyways, I ended up getting to
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: the interview on time, and I nailed the interview because
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I didn't sleep at all because it was so sketchy
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: on the on the way to New York on the
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: bus in the middle of the night, and fessed up
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: that I had, you know, traveled from Ohio, and the
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: hiring manager is like, you know, we could have done
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: this over computer, right, And I was like at this point,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: I don't care, just wanted to show you that I'm
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: serious about this opportunity, and she's like, you know, this
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: is unpaid, right, So, long story short, I ended up
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: getting the internship at p Ditty's Backgoy Entertainment. I ended
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: up getting another part time internship at the ad sales
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: department at MTV Networks, which is like the less sexy
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: part of the business, but I didn't care.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: I was so excited.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're in the viacom building. Who cares.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: I go and live for the summer in New York.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't know anybody. It was so excited. I'm like, Okay,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: how the hell am I gonna, you know, survive in
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: this city so expensive? I'm still paying for the last
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: semester in college. Ended up scouring Craigslist. I was a babysitter.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: I walked dogs during my lunch breaks. I worked in
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: clothes as a promoter. I worked in a bar. Like
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: my schedule was so full, but I was so abundantly
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: grateful of just the opportunity of having a chance to
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: be able to make something out of something. And I
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: think that attitude was what got me through everything else.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Career wives and you know, then came Daka and completely
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: changed everything.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: But again, I didn't know it was coming.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: So it was really about figuring one thing at a
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: time and not getting overwhelmed by the constant nos. You
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: got guts, girl, I look yeah, yeah, I look back,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, what had I had done that?
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I think, I don't know.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I think when you really want something, and after seeing
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: so many closed doors in a weird way, it was like, okay,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: like let's see how many no's I can get before
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I can get one yes. And then it became like
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: a numbers game, you know, and you have to find
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: some sort of hope and positivity in the darkness, because
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: there's so much opportunity if you let yourself think that way.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Right, Thank you for sharing that.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I was reading a lot of your articles before this,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: and it's clear that you have a real passion for
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: financial literacy. When I hear you reflect on your experiences,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I'm in shock, and just like admiration, I don't know
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: how you figured everything out without guidance. You must have
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: had a really good internal gut instinct. But I keep
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: hearing you use the word chaos, and I'm wondering when
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: you reflect on all of your experiences, if there's a
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: day that just really stands out as the hardest to
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: struggle through.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and there was a lot of tough days.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And I think that again, I'm just starting to realize
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: what the young Danielle had.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: To go through.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: And it's really hard to see yourself in a sort
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: of a vulnerable and scary, chaotic situation as I was in,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm only now sort of doing the work.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: I think about the time that it was the highest
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: high and.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: The lowest low, which was the summer after my freshman
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: year in college. I had just saved enough money to
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: start my sophomore year of college. Right, I only had
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: like enough cash for the you know, a third of
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: the semester. But that's the way I was going about it.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, I never had enough money for the full year.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: It was just little by little, but had enough money
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: for like the third of the first semester. I was
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: really excited, you know how it is a first year
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: of college. You get into the business fraternities that you
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: want to get into. I was part of a mock
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: trial team. I had, you know, a set group of
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: friends that we all vibed, and it was really exciting.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I felt like I had community, a sense of belonging
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: something that I never really felt like I had. And
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: you know, a couple of weeks away before starting my
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: sophomore semester, really excited to go back. I had worked
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: my butt off that summer with cash paying jobs.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: I had my own Mary Kay business.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Oh that's why your makeup looks so good. This goes
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: way back.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: I loved my time.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I was very kickington and I'm a beauty dougie, so
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: it wasn't it wasn't a hard job, to be honest.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: I was out doing deliveries for my business. And I
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: remember being.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So overwhelmed that day because I had started my morning
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: like at seven am, started getting everything ready for my deliveries,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: and then I was waitressing, and then I was a
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: bus boy, and it was at the end of the
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: day and I get into a fender bender. And what
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: would have been, you know, for somebody who was American,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: it would have been an simple exchange of paperwork and
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: a headache, right, But for me, that was like defining,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Like I was so sickcared because obviously I was undocumented
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: at the time, I couldn't get the police involved, and
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: so I went up to the owner and I was like,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: name your price, like, let's just settle it between us.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: It was a fender bender. I mean, it.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Wasn't like a big crash, and so the worst part
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: is that it was a really old car and where
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I fender bended the car was like a really expensive
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: part of the car. And you know, I didn't I
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: don't know if it actually cost what the number she
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: gave me, you know it was. But she named her
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: price and ended up being every single cent that I
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: had saved up to go back to college. And there
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: went all my hopes to keep going. And I remember
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: my mom going to pick me up. We ended up
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: kind of going into this parking lot of this supermarket
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, and Danielle, I've never
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: seen my mom cry like. I've always seen her as
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: a strong Latina.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: She takes care of everything. She's always got answers for
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: a way to make it through. And she was completely
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: speechless for the first time.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: And that scared me because that, for me was a
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: kind of validation that this might be it, Like my
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: future might have stopped right then and there, because all
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I had was hope, right all I had was one
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: thing led to I had saved up enough money for college.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I was going to go back, and so when that
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: money went away, I didn't know what to do. I
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: didn't know if I was going to go back to college.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: I didn't know, you know.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: And it also hurt like my soul, like my heart,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: like I had put all of my hope and kind
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: of heart into this, and we just like wept there
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: and cried together and held each other, and it was
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: just like that was a really it was a really
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: really sad moment, and I'm now remembering it, and I
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: every time I remember, and I kind of get this
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: like somatic to go back then and I think about
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: the heartache. I mean, it was just heartache of just
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: seeing everything in front of you have the possibility to go.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Away forever and in an instant, it's just in an instant,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: it's so discouraging.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Obviously, you made your way back to school.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: So the story ends happy, but it's not without a
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: ton of struggle.
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Thank you for sharing that, Yeah, And I mean you're right,
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: I mean there was a lot of struggle.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I think this is you talk about defining moment, and
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: this is something that I have since then have held
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: really hear to. My belief system is again, nobody is
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: going to pay that path forward if you don't believe
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: that you can find a way for yourself. Like I
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: couldn't go back obviously that that semester, but I told myself, Okay,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to stay home for six months or for
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: a year, for a year and a half, and so
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I had to have that sort of self trust, right,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: self trust, that's big. I'm not even talking about confidence,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: but having self trust to be able to know that
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: you can get through those things and create your own
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: playbook and create your own sort of value system to
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: keep you going.
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: And I think that that moment I think.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Was really held like a lot of it was very
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: powerful because it taught me sort of the value of
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: self trusting. And I'm a person of faith, so that
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: always helps.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: You Know. It's interesting say self trust because in my
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: like when you told me that story, the first thing
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: that came to my mind was resilience. But I think
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: a step further is self trust, which I don't think
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: I thought about.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, resilience for me has been because it's
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: what is resilience, right, It's not like you go through
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: a tough time and you feel resilient in that moment.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: For me, it was.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: These bursts of things that I could prove to myself
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: that I was. But in order to allow yourself to
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: prove those things, you have to have enough belief in
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: yourself that you're going to be able to get from
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: point A to B without having somebody sort of hold
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: your hand and knowing that you can get there without
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: having a clear roadmap. And more importantly for me, it
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: was realizing that I could do it even though I
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: didn't have anybody before me do it right growing up
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: in a place like I did, in the small town
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: of Ohio that I that I lived, you know, there
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: were no Latinas that I had as an example of
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: kind of professional role models like I didn't have that,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and so and being again in the shadows, there was
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of self trust that I needed to have
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: in order not to believe and internalize the self limiting
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: comments and things that I would hear from people that
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: were part of my community that had ideas of what
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: an immigrant was and what somebody was undocumented was. And
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I would hear those things like oh, those damn illegals
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: or the wet bag comments, and I had to pretend
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: like I didn't feel any of that.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: Right, I was in the shadows, I was.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: A completely different person than I really was, Like I
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: felt like I led a different a different life. And
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: it's interesting because in this book that I'm writing, I'm
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: just getting into this idea of double conscious, right, this
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: idea of navigating the world through the white man's lens
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: while trying to define your own cultural sense of self
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: for yourself.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: And it can get really fuzzy.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: So I think for me, you know, self trust is
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: the foundation of becoming resilient. But it takes work, and
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: it takes for you knowing that you are the only
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: person that can make things happen. You know.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get too esoteric, but when you
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: talk about that fuzziness, I think a lot of high
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: achievers struggle with that because there's a notion of like
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: power through power forward, don't complain, just like figure out
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: the game and learn how to play it and then
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: win it, and you kind of forget along the way.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: How much common sort of microag Russians we can call them,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: actually affect you.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I mean I'm gonna be I mean, here's
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: the thing.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I am a white Latina, like I have my sister
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: is after Latina. She has a Haitian grandfather, so I
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: will never know the level of microaggressions that she has
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: experience or will experience in the workplace.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: But at the same time, I've done a lot of work.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Trying to not let my sense of self be determined
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: by the internalization that I once did about my undocumented
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: status and what that set about my worthiness of taking
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: up space.
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: And I think, you.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Know, yeah, when you get into the workplace and it
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: kind of taught it kind of goes into this idea
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of the imposter syndrome, right, is like you have to
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: keep going. And but the work in getting through the
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, which is something that I do with a
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: mentees that I have in my platform called access so
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: that I just soft launch, is really digging into those
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: self limiting beliefs, because if you don't get to the
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: root of the survival mode that you've been in, you're
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: going to be able to get through your professional life
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: or get to the next step of whatever goals you
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: set out for yourself, but you're never going to be
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: able to really believe it for yourself in a way
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: that allows you to get value back because you're always
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: going to be sort of contaminated by these self limiting beliefs.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: I've never heard it put that way. That's really interesting.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: It's difficult enough to be a woman in your twenties
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: trying to make it, trying to figure out personally, trying
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: to figure it out professionally.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: Of course, what was it like to live day in and.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Day out knowing that your future rests in someone else's hands.
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: I didn't like let myself believe in. I think I'm
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: a little bit of a out rebel in that sense.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Like I knew that was my path, right, Like I
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: knew that I was in the situation we're talking before Daka, right,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: and even now, I mean even as a doctor recipient,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have just come to this place
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: where I'm bolstered because of the sense of victimhood of
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: which I have seen, you know, people in my situation,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Like I hate that, Like I hate the idea of
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: constantly having to prove ourselves. It's exhausting, and I feel
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: like it's something that I have reckoned with only recently,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: because for so long I have tried proving myself. I
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: had tried showinging that you know, I'm worthy.
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: I've contributed. I've done this, I've done that.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: In order to reckon with this idea of people feeling
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: like we're not worthy. Right when I say we, I
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: say do DOC recipients. I count myself in that group.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: The only reason why I'm here is because, truly, deep down,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I have never actually believed that my future is in
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: somebody else's hands, like I would not be here if
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: that was the case. You have to believe that nobody
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: else can control your future really if it isn't, you know,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: determined by you. And that's a hard thing to say
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: when you're talking to people of marginalized communities who have
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: been on the receiving end of racial inequality, right of
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: systemic inequality of somebody like me who has felt the
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: brunt of the inaction of things like DAKA. So it's hard,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: but you've had You have to believe that it's not
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: completely determinant on what you can do or the things
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: that you can do in your control to decide to
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: go off course from what people tell you you can't do.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: I think we're learning more and more about undocumented people,
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: but I still don't think we truly know enough or
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: really understand what a day is like, what do you
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: think people are missing or do not understand about being undocumented,
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: like things that are that we're still getting wrong.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's such a good question.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's a lot First of all,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: there is so much of our economy, you know, that
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: is based on what immigrants do, right, like that at
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: the same time, they are bearing the brunt of all
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: of these things that are happening during COVID. I mean,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: how many essential workers are there that are undocumented, right?
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: And we need to be.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Talking about that, and we need to be talking about
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: the fact that, you know, a lot of them are
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: not going to have access to the vaccination. A lot
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: of them are going to feel like they you know,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: they they can't have access to the vaccination because they
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: might get deported. There's a real fear within those communities.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: And it's important to understand the totality of the contribution
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: and the you know, the weight that they have on
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: this economy. I think that is a big portion of it.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: But the other portion of it, and I say it
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: from you know, first hand account, like there's a lot
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: of kind of shame that I have internalized that I
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: am just starting again to sort of dig through and
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I think about the families who have grown up and
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: make status families and the inadequacy they might feel because
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: of the internalization that they have through the narratives, the
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: false narratives about immigrant communities. And that's scary because I've
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: been there, and I know of people who have been
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: held back psychologically because they feel that they're just not
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: worthy of taking up space. And I think that one
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: of the reasons why I uncomfortably, uncomfortably put myself out
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: there and talk about my story over and over again,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: and I wrote. I wrote the book with Mika, and
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: I'm deciding to write a second book based on my
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: story but also about identity and belonging, and not just
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: on documented communities but within marginalized communities across the country.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Is because I want people to feel empowered to know
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: that they are. Narrative is not defined by other people.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot I think that people get wrong
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: about in documented communities that we really need to learn
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: more about. But that's just some of what you know
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: from a personal perspective.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: So you mentioned shame.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I'm wondering what's been the mental and physical cost of this?
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: How much time we have?
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think like it's in a very
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: blunt way, Like I'm wondering if you're willing to share that,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: because I can imagine you're dealing with a lot.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, my mental health is something that I have
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: to work on every single day. There is a silver
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: lining in this COVID pandemic era. I don't know if
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I can say that it doesn't sound right, but in
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: terms of finding self care, like actually finding self care,
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: it's been really useful for me. I've just been getting
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: into meditation and have you know, used simple things like
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: mindful eating and movement as medicine. Like I didn't realize
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: the impact of self care on my mental health because
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: it was never something that was talked about in my tea.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: It's not something that you had time for. If we're
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: being honest, right, like you were in survival mode.
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: That's exactly right.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: And I think that it's not just my survival mode,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: it's it's sort of it's generationally right, Like I saw
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: my parents in survival mode, my my grandparents in survival mode,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: and what does that mean? Right, It's this sort of
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: constant moving in a fight or flight mode, And when
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: you're in constant fight or flight, you don't really have
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: time to ask yourself the questions that would allow you
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: to slow down because you're just in autopilot mode. You're
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: just trying to get to the next thing. And for us,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: we had to be that way because you know, we
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: were constantly trying to find a way to find our
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: you know, financial footing.
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: Like I am the oldest of five, and you know.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: We were always going through chaotic moments of being evicted
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: and my parents would open up a restaurant and it
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: didn't do well, and they were working two three jobs
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: and the factory closed down, Like I mean, it was
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: one thing after another. And so from that perspective, I
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I never saw my mom slowed down and talk to
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: us about how to better manage anxiety and stress because
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: she never did it for herself, and so it was
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: something so foreign to us. You know, we talk about
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: mental health in the Latino community, which I'm very glad
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: that recently I have been seen a little bit more
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: breaking down of the stigma and mental health with mental
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: health within our communities. But back then, like going to therapy,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: it was like, oh, the crazy uncle who drinks too much,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: you know, like it wasn't something that you took seriously, right,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: mental health is something that I am sort of constantly
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: working on.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Do you find now in reflection, that there's any advantages
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: to all of your experiences?
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think there's a lot of resilience there.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Like you mentioned earlier, I didn't know that I was
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: when I was doing these things right in survival mode,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: one thing after another, trying to stay a float. I
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: wasn't you know, I wasn't thinking I'm resilient. But you
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: look back and you say, you know, there is a
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: lot of emotional strength there. But at the same time,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I look at people who are my age or who
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: were my age back then when I had to go
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: through all that struggle and sacrifice, I hope it's not
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: the same that they have to go through, Like it
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be that hard to be able to go to
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: college and get an education and get your foot in
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: an industry that you want and find mentors. But at
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: the same time, I think it's all been part of
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: my purpose, and it's all been part of my why.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: And in this moment, I'm really proud about the work
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: that I'm doing, not only in my day job, but
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: in the projects that I'm doing solo, and all of
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: these things that I'm doing in this moment, and it's
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: taken me a long time to get here. You know,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: they all go back to finding meaning through the struggles
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: that I went through, and you know, giving whatever little
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: knowledge I have about getting a leg up as a Latin,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: as a first generation immigrant, and handing that playbook helping
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: helping the next generation get a leg up, and hopefully
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: wishing that they don't have to go through the same
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: level of the same sacrifices and struggle that I that
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: I've had to go through.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Now hearing your story, it's clear that that probably comes
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: from a place of not having financial stability at all,
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: which is understandable. But I heard you mention your new platform.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: I'm wondering if you can expound on that.
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so excited.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: I soft launched Access a community, which is a mentorship
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: platform for women who want to be able to develop
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: in a very kind of safe community. It's funny because
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: the book. The whole reason why Mika and I wrote
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: the book was because I had pitched to her two
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: years and us working together this platform that I wanted
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: to create, but really I didn't really know what I
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: was saying, but I wanted to collaborate with her, and
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I wanted her to know that I brought the message
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: of knowing your value to a very deep level because
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: I had to know that for myself in order to
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: get ahead in my career and in my life. And
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: so I had pictured her this idea of creating this platform.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: At the time, I had called it access for women
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: like me who struggles I identified with, you know, Latinas
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the country, or you know, marginalized communities,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: women of color who didn't have the professional mentors to
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: learn from or the resources and access to tools on
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: how to develop themselves professionally.
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: So I piloted with a group of girls.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I did a shout out on my social channels and
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: I had so many responses, And basically I created curriculum
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: for three pain points which came out through the focus
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: groups that I did earlier last year. And there are
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: three areas that we really tackle and dig into in
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: our community, which is getting access to new opportunities and
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: networking effectively, getting career clarity, and asserting yourself on the job.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: So dealing with all these sort of self limiting beliefs
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: that kind of go hand in hand with the imposter syndrome,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: how to be a stronger leader, how to develop your
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: leadership style, and so what I do, what my focus
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: is is that I have these different cohorts, and there
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: are these very intimate cohorts. I split them up anywhere
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: between four to eight women and it's been incredible because
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: we've had working professionals come and mentor these groups. I've
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: created a curriculum and we meet bi monthly for an
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: hour each and really hone in on different lessons based
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: on each specific pain point that these women are going through.
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: And Danielle, it's.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Incredible because most of these women, like I would say
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: seventy five percent of the women in the community are
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: women with advanced degrees.
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: They have master's degrees.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: And they just you know, but they have, you know,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: the background of being a Latina or being the first
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: and not having those mentors, and so you know, the
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: feedback has been incredible because they you know, a lot
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: of a lot of what I hear from the girls
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: is they're not girls or women, but is that they
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: are able to learn more about themselves and the tools
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: and the tactics on being better, you know, better leaders
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: within their communities or within their organizations in a sound
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: and safe space. And it's great because this is it's
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: a global community. I've had women from South America, Central America, Canada,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: all coachs of the US represented. We've had girls from London, Slovenia,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: and so you could be in one of these cohorts
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: with women all over the world, but you're all going
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: through the exact same thing.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: So you know what's so exciting to hear too, is
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of platitudes around how to
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: make it at work and how to know your worth
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: and ask for your value, and there's very few practical
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: tools to actually do it. I've actually yet to find them.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: So to hear you speak so practically is so exciting.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think you know. I'm in that space.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: I'm in the women development space. And I am telling
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: you as you know, as somebody who can relate to
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: the struggles of people for my community, it's like I
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: wish I had that sort of honest advice, honest feedback,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: and I see that with a lot of young people.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: It's like they just need somebody to give it to
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: them straight. And you know, a lot of the practices
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: that we do in these cohorts is things that make
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: the women at first maybe feel uncomfortable because it's taking
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: them out of their comfort zone. Like I have this
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: one activity where I have them present themselves and we
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: keep going at it and edit, like what is it
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: that you do, how you do it, and who you
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: do it for? Like talk about yourself, and it's so
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: hard for these women to do that. I just have
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: to share this one anecdote. There's this girl from Cheating
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: incredible girl, and she is the founder of a three
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: D prosthetics company, and we have this exercise where I
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: kind of gave them this formula on how to talk
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: about themselves effectively in front of people. It could be
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: a stranger, it could be somebody that you're networking with,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: but it's so important.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: You know that, Danielle.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: It's so important for you to be able to articulate
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: what you do and how you do it effectively.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: I find it hard to do and I'm in the
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: world of communication, so I totally identify.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Well we practice and really kind of self critique each
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: other in a very constructive and loving and safe environment.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: With this girl she was introducing herself for the first
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: time before I kind of gave her the formula to
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: kind of help her out, and she said, you know,
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I work in a three D prosthetics company and I
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: have you know, I work in real estate on the side.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: What she really needed to say was that she was
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: CEO and founder of this company. And it's just so
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: crazy how hard it can be to talk about yourself
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: in a way that actually articulates what you do and
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: how you do it and the missed opportunities that you
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: can have if you don't know how to talk about
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: yourself effectively. And so that was just a big aha
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: moment for her. And it's the sort of lessons that
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: we kind of go through is saying, Okay, I hear you,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: but what is it that you really do? And then
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: they start digging into like more clear language, more effective language,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: And it's just amazing how just presenting yourself more effectively
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: can change the way that you're perceived.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: Are you able to share like two questions that people
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: can ask themselves in order to get those answers to
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: communicate more effectively?
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, I mean we really dig in because on the surface,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: you know, one of the answers could be I'm not
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: confident enough. Right. So it's like one of the things
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: I have the girls answer for themselves, for example, let's
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: be more specific when something comes up in our groups,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: for example, like why do you have trouble raising your
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: hand in a meeting?
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: To be more.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Specific, I'll ask them where does that come from? Why
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: are you afraid to raise your hand and say what
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: you really wanted to say?
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: I maybe I'm just not confident enough. Okay, who told
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: you when you were growing up that you couldn't raise
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: your hand?
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: And so what starts to emerge is like, after you
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: know several kind of digging in, is that you know
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: this girl grew up in a family where she sat
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: at a dinner table.
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: She was the youngest.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: She was part of an immigrant family that told her
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: if she spoke out of turn that it was impolite.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: So what happened is every time she started speaking out
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: of turn and raising her voice at the dinner table,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: her parents would remind her to know her place, especially
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: if they had company over. So what happened is that slowly,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: from her upbringing right, her voice started to be silent.
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: So when this little girl.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: Started to get into a place in a professional environment
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: where she was highly capable, and she was very studious
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: and had the right answers and had valuable things to say,
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: it was hard for her to speak up because things
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: would get stuck in her throat. And again, it all
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: went back to her upbringing. So that's one of the
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: questions that I would ask, who told you you couldn't
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: raise your hand?
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: Who told you?
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Who was the first person that made you feel that way?
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: And once we bring up these subconscious things, like the
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: girl had no idea, it was related to that, it
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: started making sense to her and it was sort of
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: her aha moment. And it wasn't just about raising her
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: hand in a meeting. It was just it was more
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: about finding her voice okay, and where are other places
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: in her job right, in her professional role that she
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: could dispel those things that she was told that she
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: couldn't do right, which limiting beliefs that she brought from
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: her personal life into her professional world.
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: So that's why I've sort of built this space.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: Because we talk about professional advice and tactics and practical
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: things to do in the workplace, it is so much
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: deeper than saying the five things that I'm making more confident.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: Right, it's always deeper. It's never easy.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: Come on, exactly, give me a book or two that
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: has really shifted your perspective or something you think everyone
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: should read.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: Becoming, I mean that's I mean, who hasn't read Becoming
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: by this point? But I absolutely loved and still identified
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: with Becoming in the lessons of identity and belonging in
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: that book. And then another book that I loved also
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: is hell Billy Algae that I recently read and was
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: so excited that it came into a Netflix sery or
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: a Netflix movie growing up in the middle of Ohio.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, so many lessons about identity and overcoming and belonging.
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: So yeah, those are my two books.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Those are two great ones.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: Earn it.
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: Of course I reread Ernie.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: We have to plug it, of course. Okay.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: The number one tip in asking for a raise, and
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: this is not like an easy answer, but you can
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: just kind of give like the first thing that came
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: to your mind.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Data, data, data, data, and it all goes back to data,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: not only just like I'm not I'm not just talking
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: about like the data about what you do in terms
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: of like spelling, out like I did this, this, this,
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: and this, and then explain it to your boss. But
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: any time you feel like you're getting into negotiation and
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: you feel kind of the creeping in of bias or
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: kind of blinders from your boss, whoever it is, if
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: you revert it back to data, and you revert it
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: back to numbers and things you've been able to achieve
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: and accomplish, I mean it completely flips the script. You know,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: you should look at yourself as a business entity, right,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: I almost say it's like, don't bring your personal self
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: to negotiations. It's like one business doing business with another business.
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: Think of yourself as your own LLC.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: That's a really good one. I've never thought about that.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: I like that a lot.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: And then I made a pretty smart card deck that
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: I'm going to send you. It has fifty two questions,
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: so I pick one at random, and you actually got
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: a fun one. It was do plants thrive or die
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: in your care plants? Yeah?
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: Oh my god.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: So the funny thing is is that my boyfriend loves
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: plans and he went away to Mexico for like two
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: weeks and I forgot they were there.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: So that that answers your question.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: I'm with you mine too. It's I don't it's sad.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: I just get preoccupied.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like the feathery long non real ones. I
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: don't know if they do, I don't know their name,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I love I love real plans.
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: I just can't can't.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: Take care of them, not at this stage, at least
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: we're not there.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And last question, what is the smartest decision you've
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: ever made?
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: To get on the bus? Do it anyways? That's that's
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: a message. You're scared, You're you're worried, do it anyways.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: I love that. Thank you, Danielle.
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Danielle. This was really fun.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: It was really fun. You're so full of information and perspective.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: I'm really grateful for your time.
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: Thank you appreciate it.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: M H.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: All right, today is a good day. To have a
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: good day. I'll see you next week.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: MHM.