Latest / Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland / Improving Tech Hygiene

Transcript

Improving Tech Hygiene · Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland

0:01
Speaker 1: Purposely, your life, God's purpose. Listen at purposely.com. Hey everyone,
0:14
Speaker 1: welcome to the Gospel Tech Podcast. My name is Nathan
0:17
Speaker 1: Sutherland and this podcast is dedicated to helping families love
0:19
Speaker 1: God and use tech. Today we are going to be
0:22
Speaker 1: talking about why technology is such a battle at bedtime
0:25
Speaker 1: and what we can do about it. The premise for
0:28
Speaker 1: this is simply that this is very common. We see
0:31
Speaker 1: across age ranges. Families wrestle to use the best tech
0:34
Speaker 1: well and this is a time of day where that's
0:36
Speaker 1: especially difficult. So we have talked previously about very simple rules.
0:41
Speaker 1: We can follow things like let's get screens out of
0:43
Speaker 1: the bedroom. Let's get screens away from mealtime. Let's talk
0:46
Speaker 1: through the time and the place and the content we consume.
0:49
Speaker 1: But I want to make that hyper practical to the
0:51
Speaker 1: bedtime routine tonight. And I want to kind of frame
0:55
Speaker 1: it in the idea of tech hygiene. We teach our
0:57
Speaker 1: children how to take showers and brush their teeth. Sometimes
1:01
Speaker 1: we even encourage them to wear deodorant. We talk about
1:04
Speaker 1: germs and how we can get sick and why washing
1:07
Speaker 1: our hands is important. This is also true with our technology.
1:10
Speaker 1: We can have proper tech hygiene. We can make sure
1:12
Speaker 1: that our technology is in fact supporting the best possible outcomes.
1:16
Speaker 1: So in order to do this, we are going to
1:19
Speaker 1: talk about big picture, time, place, and content. When are
1:23
Speaker 1: we using it and Where are we using it and
1:25
Speaker 1: what technology are we using? But I want to even
1:27
Speaker 1: get a little more granular than that because you are
1:29
Speaker 1: a parent or a loving aunt or uncle or a
1:33
Speaker 1: grandma or grandpa or a neighbor or a mentor, teacher, pastor,
1:36
Speaker 1: leader of some variety of young people. And in doing
1:39
Speaker 1: these steps, we can actually help ensure that the tech
1:42
Speaker 1: is healthy and that it stays healthy. The first thing
1:44
Speaker 1: we're going to do is build a family framework. So again,
1:47
Speaker 1: on the leader side, you might not be the one
1:48
Speaker 1: doing this. This is what you can encourage families to do.
1:51
Speaker 1: And we can start really, really simple. You can go
1:53
Speaker 1: to the previous episode if you want more detail on it.
1:55
Speaker 1: But you can simply start with the tech framework that
1:57
Speaker 1: says time, place, content. When do we use this technology?
2:02
Speaker 1: So in the case of our sleep, we have to
2:04
Speaker 1: cut it at least an hour before bedtime. We're not
2:07
Speaker 1: going to be watching it to fall asleep. And I
2:09
Speaker 1: know this is the habit we have. And there are
2:11
Speaker 1: certain times where just fine, we have to do this, right?
2:14
Speaker 1: You got to turn on the whale songs. You got
2:15
Speaker 1: to turn on Bluey. Like you got to make sure
2:17
Speaker 1: something happens so your child can sleep. That's a coping mechanism.
2:21
Speaker 1: And we recognize that that's for specific, like the kid
2:23
Speaker 1: has been sick for a long time or is in
2:25
Speaker 1: a series of nights where like nighttime is now just
2:28
Speaker 1: so stressful that we need something to remind that child
2:32
Speaker 1: that he or she can actually fall asleep and then
2:35
Speaker 1: slowly withdraw that coping mechanism and get back to just
2:39
Speaker 1: regular sleep before bed. Standard research says an hour before bed.
2:43
Speaker 1: That's enough time to let your cortisol levels lower from, say,
2:47
Speaker 1: a stressful show or game. It's enough time to let
2:50
Speaker 1: our adrenaline settle in case something was super exciting and
2:53
Speaker 1: we were really competitive with it. Our bodies can get overstimulated.
2:56
Speaker 1: We can get overstimulated by the content, by the speed
2:59
Speaker 1: of the content that we consume. So if you're scrolling
3:01
Speaker 1: a feed, for example, By the questions or the engagement,
3:05
Speaker 1: just the idea is you could just be reading the news,
3:08
Speaker 1: but you can still get really fired up about the news,
3:10
Speaker 1: especially depending on how you take it in. If you're
3:13
Speaker 1: taking it over TikTok versus taking it over in like
3:15
Speaker 1: an actual digital reading format, both can be a lot.
3:19
Speaker 1: And one is more stimulating just on the rate of input.
3:24
Speaker 1: And then there's just the fact that a lot of
3:26
Speaker 1: these screens have blue light that tell your brain to
3:28
Speaker 1: be awake. So an hour before bed is our time.
3:32
Speaker 1: This is a conversation you can have today. Hey, an
3:35
Speaker 1: hour before bed, we're going to put our tech down.
3:37
Speaker 1: We're going to quit watching that movie, stop scrolling the internet,
3:40
Speaker 1: quit playing that game. We are going to model this too.
3:42
Speaker 1: It's part of a family tech framework. The time is
3:45
Speaker 1: going to be established. And if you're not sure how
3:48
Speaker 1: to do this well, certainly the conversation is part of it,
3:50
Speaker 1: but this is where hedges come in. We'll get to
3:53
Speaker 1: this at step five, but just remember that there is
3:56
Speaker 1: digital hedges we can build that can help us follow
3:59
Speaker 1: through on some of these conversational pieces. So We have
4:02
Speaker 1: a timeline. We're going to stop an hour before bed. Remember,
4:06
Speaker 1: we also have talked previously, and maybe you don't remember
4:08
Speaker 1: because it's your first time hearing it. So let's talk
4:09
Speaker 1: about it. How much time in a day? I like
4:12
Speaker 1: the rule of no more than a half of your
4:15
Speaker 1: discretionary time and no more than two hours a day.
4:18
Speaker 1: Half your discretionary time is because I don't think a
4:20
Speaker 1: lot of us would say that it's more important that
4:23
Speaker 1: our children become good at their digital technology than the
4:26
Speaker 1: other things they could do. So great. We shouldn't be
4:28
Speaker 1: spending more than half of our free time on that. Uh,
4:31
Speaker 1: that's so if, uh, like I mentioned previously, uh, my
4:35
Speaker 1: child plays sports, so he only has about 90 minutes
4:37
Speaker 1: of discretionary time. So we're not going to be watching
4:40
Speaker 1: more than 45 minutes of a show. Sometimes he likes
4:42
Speaker 1: to come home, watch a show with his siblings and then,
4:44
Speaker 1: you know, start the bedtime routine. Great. But it's not
4:47
Speaker 1: going to be longer than 45 minutes on those nights.
4:50
Speaker 1: If an Average child, that's three and a half hours.
4:52
Speaker 1: You're talking about an hour and 45 minutes maximum. But
4:56
Speaker 1: that brings us to the, how's it working? Like what's
4:59
Speaker 1: it producing in our child questions? And I'll let you
5:01
Speaker 1: parent that. But time is going to be the first
5:04
Speaker 1: part of this conversation. Then place. Yes, screens should be
5:08
Speaker 1: out of the bedroom. So no one needs a thousand
5:10
Speaker 1: dollar alarm clock. And I say it in that way
5:11
Speaker 1: because that helps us frame usually how that conversation goes. Well,
5:14
Speaker 1: I need this because I need to know when to
5:16
Speaker 1: wake up. We can learn how to use a standard
5:19
Speaker 1: alarm clock. Please do. The regular phone is simply an
5:23
Speaker 1: unfair fight for a tired, anxious brain. Your child needs
5:27
Speaker 1: sleep and needs quiet in order to be as healthy
5:31
Speaker 1: as possible. And the best hygiene for that technology is
5:34
Speaker 1: to get it out of the bedroom. Putting it downstairs
5:37
Speaker 1: is the easiest way. That's what my wife and I do.
5:39
Speaker 1: Anna and I like to put our phones just down
5:41
Speaker 1: in the kitchen. We plug them in. Sometimes, you know,
5:44
Speaker 1: it's a story for bedtime. And so guided access goes
5:47
Speaker 1: on the phone and that helps us like it'll just
5:50
Speaker 1: stay in audible. You can actually block the whole screen.
5:52
Speaker 1: So only the play button is visible. So they're not
5:55
Speaker 1: scrolling through all the content on audible, for example, and
5:58
Speaker 1: then just put it on a low volume on a
6:01
Speaker 1: shelf and set a 45 minute timer. So the child
6:05
Speaker 1: can help fall asleep and then we're good to go. So. Downstairs,
6:10
Speaker 1: in terms of our use, an hour before bed, so
6:13
Speaker 1: we're not scrolling before bed and then walking it down
6:15
Speaker 1: and then trying to fall asleep after we were just
6:17
Speaker 1: inundated with information and entertainment and distraction. of screens needs
6:24
Speaker 1: to be not in the bedroom. We don't need smart TVs.
6:26
Speaker 1: We do not need gaming consoles or smartphones. This can
6:30
Speaker 1: be tricky, and this is where the family framework comes in,
6:33
Speaker 1: where we talk about our family's priorities, and we can
6:35
Speaker 1: simply say we prioritize sleep. If our child goes, yeah,
6:38
Speaker 1: but I don't know how to sleep. I had this
6:40
Speaker 1: this week. A young person said, I don't know how
6:43
Speaker 1: to fall asleep, so I watch YouTube. My follow-up question was,
6:47
Speaker 1: what do you do to ensure that YouTube is safe?
6:49
Speaker 1: And he said, I don't. I was like, okay, well,
6:53
Speaker 1: I hope it's working well now, but like it won't forever.
6:56
Speaker 1: Like at some point you will either make a poor
6:59
Speaker 1: choice or the internet will. And we need buffers and barriers.
7:04
Speaker 1: And one of the great barriers is distance. This needs
7:07
Speaker 1: to be something we do lovingly for our children. Safety
7:10
Speaker 1: is the one A on this conversation of it is unsafe.
7:14
Speaker 1: to have this technology in your room. It is unwise.
7:17
Speaker 1: There is zero research saying that a screen in the
7:19
Speaker 1: bedroom is a good idea. There's a lot of research
7:21
Speaker 1: saying it impedes sleep, that it opens our children up
7:25
Speaker 1: to unsafe strangers, that it opens our children up to
7:28
Speaker 1: decisions they make late at night, which is often, not often,
7:31
Speaker 1: excuse me. If they're going to make a poor choice
7:34
Speaker 1: later when they're sleepier, when they might get hungry again,
7:38
Speaker 1: when they're feeling lonely, when they're feeling anxious, when they're
7:40
Speaker 1: stressed out about not being able to fall asleep, This
7:43
Speaker 1: is when they might go online and look for or
7:46
Speaker 1: bump into what might be very exciting content, but also
7:49
Speaker 1: very unhelpful. All right, so time, our place for the technology,
7:54
Speaker 1: and then the content that is acceptable. Yes, we talk
7:57
Speaker 1: it out. We say this is what our family values are.
7:59
Speaker 1: This is what we believe in. Philippians 4.8 is a
8:01
Speaker 1: great standard. So as we walk through and say, does
8:04
Speaker 1: it encompass this? Not always... The point is not to
8:09
Speaker 1: never see something negative. The point is, what is our
8:11
Speaker 1: heart bringing in and celebrating? And then how do we
8:14
Speaker 1: repent from that? And how do we put ourselves in
8:16
Speaker 1: a position for success? In the case of this content,
8:19
Speaker 1: we do want some parental controls over the device itself,
8:23
Speaker 1: wherever that is in our house. So the TV has
8:25
Speaker 1: some kind of passcode so that our internet has some
8:29
Speaker 1: kind of accountability, again, through hedges. When we are talking
8:32
Speaker 1: about smartphones, video games, streaming services, be it YouTube or
8:37
Speaker 1: even social media, We want to make sure that we've
8:39
Speaker 1: talked about time, place, and content. That's our first barrier
8:43
Speaker 1: to get healthy tech and to get good tech hygiene
8:46
Speaker 1: for our family. The second thing we're going to do
8:49
Speaker 1: is we're going to ensure that the tech that we
8:51
Speaker 1: allow is safe, ready, and good. I'm not going to
8:53
Speaker 1: go deep into that now. Go to our last episode
8:55
Speaker 1: if you want a really deep dive. But safe means
8:57
Speaker 1: it's a good choice for your kids. It is not
8:59
Speaker 1: inherently dangerous. It's not going to have an app store.
9:02
Speaker 1: It's not going to have a browser. It's going to
9:05
Speaker 1: have some kind of accountability baked into it. So smartphones
9:08
Speaker 1: are inherently unsafe. They're not intended for children. And they
9:12
Speaker 1: can be modified to be more safe, and that's okay.
9:15
Speaker 1: Whereas the safest possible tech is going to be some
9:17
Speaker 1: kind of tool tech, be that AutoCAD on something that
9:20
Speaker 1: isn't connected to the internet, or Microsoft Word, for example.
9:24
Speaker 1: That it just, all it does is word process. And again,
9:27
Speaker 1: the device it's on has to also be safe. You've
9:30
Speaker 1: decided it's safe. Your child is ready for this level
9:32
Speaker 1: of responsibility and the outcome is good. You like how
9:35
Speaker 1: it's going. Again, your child might be ready for it.
9:39
Speaker 1: The technology could be safe enough. It has parental controls,
9:41
Speaker 1: but there is some technology that is just a bad
9:43
Speaker 1: choice for a sleeping environment of a bedroom. So when
9:46
Speaker 1: we're talking bedtime routines and tech hygiene, it is unhygienic
9:50
Speaker 1: to have drool tech in that bedroom. We are bringing
9:53
Speaker 1: in distraction and distraction fights sleep, as does excitement and adventure.
9:59
Speaker 1: and every friend we know, and also all of the internet.
10:02
Speaker 1: Like these are not things that help us sleep. So
10:05
Speaker 1: we can find ways to make them safer, but it's
10:09
Speaker 1: the most hygienic to have them out of the room.
10:10
Speaker 1: And we want to make sure that they're safe, they're ready,
10:12
Speaker 1: and that the outcome is good. If we have a
10:14
Speaker 1: child who is tired, if we have a anxiousness or
10:21
Speaker 1: in anger or in distraction. I, as a teacher, am
10:25
Speaker 1: convinced that some of my children who were being called
10:27
Speaker 1: quote-unquote bad students because they couldn't focus or even being
10:30
Speaker 1: called ADHD may have been having symptoms of ADHD or
10:36
Speaker 1: the symptoms were being made worse because they were sleeping
10:38
Speaker 1: very little and a brain that simply couldn't cannot focus
10:42
Speaker 1: or cannot sleep has a really hard time focusing, which
10:45
Speaker 1: is often what we look at when we say, is
10:46
Speaker 1: this thing ADD? Sorry, is this brain ADD? This person
10:49
Speaker 1: is not a thing. Okay. Setting basic parental controls is
10:53
Speaker 1: the next thing we can do. We can set basic
10:55
Speaker 1: parental controls, go to that device. And if it's a
10:58
Speaker 1: console set up parental controls using an app, like on
11:01
Speaker 1: an Xbox, if it's a computer setting up parental controls
11:05
Speaker 1: on the family settings, or if it's a Mac, We
11:08
Speaker 1: can use things like screen time to make sure that
11:11
Speaker 1: our child is using all the best tech well. So yes,
11:13
Speaker 1: you've earned the opportunity to do this. And yes, we're
11:16
Speaker 1: going to make sure we whitelist certain things. This is
11:19
Speaker 1: what you can access and everything else is blocked because
11:21
Speaker 1: it may not be a net gain for you. And finally,
11:23
Speaker 1: we're going to build a hedge. So this is what
11:25
Speaker 1: I mentioned is the last thing we would get to.
11:27
Speaker 1: Building a hedge. We've already done it around our family
11:29
Speaker 1: because we've talked about the timeline. the location and the
11:32
Speaker 1: content we're gonna consume. So we've already had a conversation
11:35
Speaker 1: that we can reference back to and that can adapt
11:37
Speaker 1: as our children grow and as new technology is added,
11:39
Speaker 1: as we've decided, yes, this is safe enough and you
11:43
Speaker 1: are ready for it and I love what it's doing.
11:45
Speaker 1: So like, we're gonna bring this in and we're gonna
11:46
Speaker 1: adapt our rules a little bit. That might be like,
11:50
Speaker 1: instead of using this app on my phone, you can
11:53
Speaker 1: now use it on your phone. Like, okay, the rules
11:55
Speaker 1: can change, but there's always gonna be a hedge there.
11:57
Speaker 1: The conversational hedge is first and foremost, There's no amount
12:00
Speaker 1: of rules that will make your child good just because
12:03
Speaker 1: they're good rules. So instead, what we do is we say, okay,
12:06
Speaker 1: we're going to build a hedge around our device and
12:09
Speaker 1: our network, understanding that we have a relational conversational hedge.
12:13
Speaker 1: These are simply a way for us to lovingly parent.
12:15
Speaker 1: So if and when something goes wrong on the internet,
12:17
Speaker 1: we are there. to lovingly step in, have the conversation,
12:20
Speaker 1: help you debrief, know that you're never alone, that there's
12:23
Speaker 1: nothing you can do or look at online that makes
12:25
Speaker 1: us love you less, and our love for you drives
12:28
Speaker 1: us to take action. We're not just going to let
12:30
Speaker 1: you get hurt by others or hurt others depending on
12:33
Speaker 1: what way that relationship works. So yeah, we're going to
12:36
Speaker 1: see it. We love you a lot. We are not
12:38
Speaker 1: simply going to police you. We are going to parent you.
12:41
Speaker 1: And this goes all the way up as long as
12:42
Speaker 1: they're a child in your home. If you have adults
12:44
Speaker 1: in your home and you're trying to work through that, okay,
12:47
Speaker 1: like that is a different conversation. So we can talk
12:49
Speaker 1: about that another time. An adult in your home depends
12:52
Speaker 1: on what your working adult relationship looks like But it
12:55
Speaker 1: should hopefully be based on a wonderful conversation about healthy
12:59
Speaker 1: tech use. Even adults need to use tech well. A
13:02
Speaker 1: family framework that does apply to our adults. We also
13:04
Speaker 1: need to be off our screens, for example, right before bed.
13:07
Speaker 1: And having no screens in our room is always a
13:10
Speaker 1: net gain. So keep that in mind. Building hedges, though.
13:14
Speaker 1: Device networks. Let's actually do it in reverse. Let's go
13:16
Speaker 1: networks than devices. Network level means we can now set
13:20
Speaker 1: time limits by device. So that last week we talked
13:23
Speaker 1: about school devices that come home. I can say, hey,
13:27
Speaker 1: that new school laptop or that tablet can not receive
13:31
Speaker 1: Wi-Fi after 7 p.m. Or it can only get in
13:34
Speaker 1: this one window from 4 to 7 p.m. Great. That's
13:37
Speaker 1: the only time it has Wi-Fi. It'll automatically shut off
13:40
Speaker 1: even if I'm out of the room, even if I forget,
13:41
Speaker 1: even if I went out to grab groceries, Wi-Fi's off
13:44
Speaker 1: for that device. Network level also allows us to set
13:49
Speaker 1: expectations by users on devices. If we care, we say, okay,
13:52
Speaker 1: this device belongs to that individual. It has these levels
13:56
Speaker 1: of permissions if you want to get that granular. So
13:58
Speaker 1: a high school's laptop, high schooler's laptop could go till
14:01
Speaker 1: 8 or 9 p.m. Whereas the laptop given to your
14:04
Speaker 1: sixth grader might only go to 6 p.m. But whatever
14:08
Speaker 1: the rules might be, you can get granular by user,
14:10
Speaker 1: by device. That's network level rules. And those are super
14:15
Speaker 1: helpful because they include your smart TVs. I get on
14:19
Speaker 1: those because they are tricky. We kind of forget they
14:21
Speaker 1: connect to the internet sometimes. And we might block YouTube,
14:24
Speaker 1: but the browser might be live. So the rules around
14:28
Speaker 1: it from the network levels make that just a lot
14:30
Speaker 1: more simple. So make sure you have some network level rules.
14:33
Speaker 1: They allow you to control when and how long devices
14:36
Speaker 1: can be used, which devices are being used, and then
14:38
Speaker 1: categories for those devices. So your exercise bike might go
14:43
Speaker 1: in one category and your personal computer that the adults
14:46
Speaker 1: use on another, and then the kids' devices can go
14:49
Speaker 1: into a third. Meanwhile, your Roombas and Nest and Ring
14:53
Speaker 1: doorbell can all still work. So get a network level
14:58
Speaker 1: device hedge. Sorry, I mixed device and network. Get a
15:02
Speaker 1: network level hedge here. The ones I really like is
15:05
Speaker 1: the Bark Home. It's, I want to say, $ 90 all in.
15:10
Speaker 1: And that gives you filtering and accountability right on that.
15:14
Speaker 1: So there's no monthly fee with that. You can also
15:16
Speaker 1: just get it and pay, I think, $ 8 a month.
15:19
Speaker 1: But if you're planning on using it more than a
15:20
Speaker 1: year and a half, go for that. The Griffin router,
15:23
Speaker 1: if you need a new Wi-Fi router, you've just been
15:25
Speaker 1: using the one on lease from whatever company you use.
15:28
Speaker 1: It's a very solid product. You don't have to get
15:32
Speaker 1: that top. They just are releasing like a commercial grade
15:35
Speaker 1: one that is incredible, but you don't probably need that
15:38
Speaker 1: at home for most homes. You can simply get that mid-level.
15:41
Speaker 1: I want to say it's 350 bucks. It's a router.
15:44
Speaker 1: It comes with an app. You can set up all
15:46
Speaker 1: the things at the network level that I just mentioned,
15:48
Speaker 1: including accountability and individual devices and individual categories. With that
15:53
Speaker 1: being said, this does take some legwork. So like the
15:56
Speaker 1: Bark Home... has some legwork. There's an app to download.
15:59
Speaker 1: You have to make sure everyone is set up and
16:02
Speaker 1: showing up on the Wi-Fi with their devices. And then
16:06
Speaker 1: you also need to know the Griffin router requires an
16:09
Speaker 1: app as well and some setup. If you really want
16:11
Speaker 1: your own, you're like, yeah, but what would work with
16:13
Speaker 1: my server? I already have set up. Firewall is a
16:15
Speaker 1: great option for that. The I want to say it's
16:21
Speaker 1: right around 400 bucks. Check out those three options for
16:25
Speaker 1: network hedges. Then we go to device hedges. If you
16:28
Speaker 1: want a device hedge, this is for your child who
16:32
Speaker 1: has a personal device on that network. That's fine. You
16:35
Speaker 1: can add extra accountability on that device. So we have
16:38
Speaker 1: common eyes, for example, on the computer. This is being
16:40
Speaker 1: recorded on, and that's what the kids watch their movies on.
16:43
Speaker 1: So I have device level accountability for images specifically. They're
16:47
Speaker 1: not doing a lot of social media. There's not a
16:49
Speaker 1: lot of need to track you know, who's being mean
16:51
Speaker 1: or who's getting bullied or who's coming in contact with
16:53
Speaker 1: unsafe strangers. A lot of this is just image-based. From
16:56
Speaker 1: the network level, I've defaulted all of our searches to
17:00
Speaker 1: the safe search. So Google safe search, as well as YouTube.
17:03
Speaker 1: If they go on YouTube, it defaults to safe search.
17:07
Speaker 1: And then there's this backup redundancy. We use Common Eyes.
17:10
Speaker 1: It's been really robust. It works well. Again, not perfect.
17:14
Speaker 1: So if you have someone who just really wants to
17:16
Speaker 1: go out and make mistakes, this won't change their heart.
17:19
Speaker 1: But it will allow you to see, hey, I noticed
17:21
Speaker 1: like these things are pinging. What's going on? I want
17:24
Speaker 1: to talk about that. We love you. We want to
17:25
Speaker 1: make sure this is as safe as possible. Because again,
17:27
Speaker 1: tech hygiene, that is not helping you sleep. That is
17:30
Speaker 1: not helping your potential. That is not helping your mind
17:32
Speaker 1: and your heart. It's helping you get engaged in content
17:37
Speaker 1: that is a lie. This is not reality. We want
17:39
Speaker 1: the best for you. So our tech hygiene brings us
17:42
Speaker 1: to a hedge on individual devices. that isn't focused around
17:46
Speaker 1: playing whack-a-mole and trying to just blacklist all the bad stuff,
17:49
Speaker 1: but instead provide all the good stuff. And we said, yes,
17:51
Speaker 1: you can have this device. We believe that's good for you.
17:54
Speaker 1: And we're going to do some steps. We're going to
17:56
Speaker 1: take some steps to make sure that this tech is
17:58
Speaker 1: safe as possible for you. With that in mind, when
18:01
Speaker 1: we talk about our hedges for individual devices, I mentioned
18:05
Speaker 1: Covenant Eyes. Canopy is great for like a grandparent's computer
18:08
Speaker 1: because it uses AI to filter out unhelpful images in
18:12
Speaker 1: real time. So you might have safe search on, but
18:14
Speaker 1: this can be one more step. A wonderful step if
18:17
Speaker 1: your kids use a lot of YouTube is to think
18:19
Speaker 1: about buying a premium subscription. Ads on YouTube can be tricky.
18:23
Speaker 1: And paying that money is a very inexpensive investment if
18:27
Speaker 1: you've decided YouTube is a good spot for your child
18:29
Speaker 1: to be. I would encourage you to never let your
18:31
Speaker 1: children use YouTube unattended. It is safe-ish. It is not
18:35
Speaker 1: perfectly safe. And so we want to make sure that, yes,
18:38
Speaker 1: ads are one of the ways we can manage that.
18:41
Speaker 1: Accountability is another way. but parental presence is the best
18:45
Speaker 1: way we can help our kids make good choices online. Parents,
18:49
Speaker 1: as we strive to raise kids who love God and
18:52
Speaker 1: use tech, it's intimidating to look at this next stage
18:54
Speaker 1: of life and think about what academics may look like
18:57
Speaker 1: for them. When you're thinking about college, consider George Fox
19:01
Speaker 1: University for your children because of three things. First, it's
19:04
Speaker 1: going to give you a more intimate, known environment where
19:07
Speaker 1: they have a focus on being known personally, academically, and spiritually.
19:11
Speaker 1: Your child will grow in their faith. 93% of undergrad
19:15
Speaker 1: students at George Fox last year, through the 2025 academic year,
19:19
Speaker 1: said that being at George Fox has helped them grow
19:21
Speaker 1: in their relationship with Jesus. We also want them to
19:24
Speaker 1: grow academically, which means being a part of university with
19:28
Speaker 1: rigorous academic standards and opportunities to be engaged. They have
19:32
Speaker 1: a nationally recognized engineering, nursing, and education programs. As well
19:36
Speaker 1: as chances to study abroad here within the U.S. and
19:38
Speaker 1: then internationally. And finally, personally, to be part of a
19:42
Speaker 1: vibrant campus atmosphere where you can play intramural sports or
19:45
Speaker 1: part of their NCAA Division III athletic programs with 23 students.
19:50
Speaker 1: sports available. The goal here is to Go to a
19:54
Speaker 1: place that's going to support your goals, not try to
19:57
Speaker 1: make you support theirs. To have that goal be to
20:00
Speaker 1: raise you up to be all God's called you to
20:02
Speaker 1: be and to truly equip your young person with my,
20:06
Speaker 1: in my case, my sons or my daughter to love
20:09
Speaker 1: God and then from their love of God to go
20:11
Speaker 1: wherever God has called them. And that includes being equipped
20:13
Speaker 1: with a degree that will help them do that, to
20:15
Speaker 1: be missionally equipped to love and serve others, to lead
20:18
Speaker 1: where God has planted them and to know the gospel
20:21
Speaker 1: for themselves and be able to share it with others.
20:22
Speaker 1: So George Fox University is an amazing resource for our kids,
20:26
Speaker 1: for our community here in the Northwest, and for anyone
20:28
Speaker 1: who's looking to raise up a young person who can
20:31
Speaker 1: love God and from that, love others. We have now
20:36
Speaker 1: talked about tech hygiene. How do we help our children
20:40
Speaker 1: fall asleep best? Well, we make sure we have a
20:42
Speaker 1: conversation around when we use our tech, where we use
20:45
Speaker 1: our tech, and the content we consume. Make an intentional
20:49
Speaker 1: family framework around those three and just have one sentence
20:53
Speaker 1: for each. So when do we use it? We use
20:55
Speaker 1: it for X amount of time. Where do we use it?
20:58
Speaker 1: In public places, whatever public place you decide. And what
21:01
Speaker 1: content is appropriate? You can say it as simple as
21:04
Speaker 1: we want to make sure it's the content that mommy
21:06
Speaker 1: and daddy watch with you. Or you can say, hey,
21:09
Speaker 1: we're going to make sure that it's following Philippians 4.8
21:12
Speaker 1: or go with the Galatians 5.22 if it produces good fruit.
21:15
Speaker 1: But you need a standard. You can say, we're not
21:18
Speaker 1: going to do any violence that shows blood. We're not
21:21
Speaker 1: going to do anything that has people not wearing clothes.
21:25
Speaker 1: You can handle those conversations as you would like. The
21:28
Speaker 1: point is you've talked about it. You can say, we're
21:31
Speaker 1: just going to watch things that are TVPG. It's locked
21:33
Speaker 1: in on the profile. Like you don't have to get
21:35
Speaker 1: super granular on this. It is a wonderful way to
21:38
Speaker 1: bring up the unsafe content conversation of, hey, there's some
21:42
Speaker 1: stuff online that's bad for your heart and your mind.
21:44
Speaker 1: We love you. We're not scared of it. And we
21:47
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you have the safest possible
21:49
Speaker 1: experience online. So we are taking steps, not because we're
21:51
Speaker 1: scared of you, but because the internet is an unsafe
21:54
Speaker 1: environment for a child. And we want you to have
21:56
Speaker 1: the best experience possible. Think through that as you're going
21:58
Speaker 1: through those conversations, because time, place, and content is going
22:01
Speaker 1: to matter. Then we are going to remove screens from
22:04
Speaker 1: our bedrooms. We're going to have a conversation about why,
22:06
Speaker 1: about increasing the sleep hygiene and how to entertainment technology
22:10
Speaker 1: doesn't help us with that. If we have a kid
22:12
Speaker 1: who's like, yeah, but I needed to fall asleep. Maybe
22:14
Speaker 1: there's a way we can work it down. Like I said,
22:16
Speaker 1: the timer on an audible book. Okay. Like you got
22:18
Speaker 1: it for 45 minutes. Like let's work on falling asleep.
22:22
Speaker 1: Maybe that is a way to help you draw down
22:24
Speaker 1: from it. But at the end of the day, it
22:26
Speaker 1: also might just be, no, you know what we're going
22:28
Speaker 1: to do? We're going to go a month without it
22:30
Speaker 1: at all. Because maybe at 2 p.m., it still is
22:33
Speaker 1: too overstimulating by the time you get to 9 p.m.
22:36
Speaker 1: and you're just not able to get to sleep. This
22:37
Speaker 1: might be a sign that it's time for a full
22:39
Speaker 1: 30-day reset. And if that sets off a bunch of
22:42
Speaker 1: conflict in your family, maybe that's a sign that this
22:45
Speaker 1: is really unhealthy and that tech might be the cause
22:47
Speaker 1: of it. It's possible. But maybe tech is just part
22:50
Speaker 1: of the problem and they're using it to mask anxiety
22:53
Speaker 1: or depression or getting bullied or being a bully or
22:56
Speaker 1: being feeling shame about what they've seen online or what
22:59
Speaker 1: they've said online. There could be any number of things.
23:02
Speaker 1: This is why the conversation has to drive the actions
23:06
Speaker 1: we take about technology. It's not just lock down all
23:09
Speaker 1: the tech and everything will be fine. We've seen the
23:11
Speaker 1: human heart has been able to do and want bad
23:13
Speaker 1: things for a long time instead. And by a long time,
23:16
Speaker 1: I mean millennia. Instead, we're going, okay, I love you.
23:20
Speaker 1: And is this fight we're now having about technology because
23:24
Speaker 1: I'm a big meanie or... Is there something else going on?
23:28
Speaker 1: And we need to uncover that in conversation. The goal
23:30
Speaker 1: is not to traumatize your child by isolating them from friends.
23:33
Speaker 1: The goal is to figure out how can we help
23:35
Speaker 1: you sleep? How can we help you stay asleep? And
23:38
Speaker 1: after that, to then come and use tech well and
23:40
Speaker 1: then walk away from it and live the rest of
23:42
Speaker 1: your life. We are going to ensure that the tech
23:44
Speaker 1: that we do allow is safe, that our children are
23:46
Speaker 1: ready and that the outcome is good and we can
23:48
Speaker 1: use a reset for the good piece. relationships, emotions, sleep, enjoyment, time.
23:53
Speaker 1: Do they get better or do they get worse? Setting
23:56
Speaker 1: basic parental controls on each device we allow. And if
23:59
Speaker 1: that feels overwhelming, disallow some of the devices. Go, great.
24:03
Speaker 1: We're just going to focus on these two. We feel
24:04
Speaker 1: like we can handle a laptop and we feel like
24:07
Speaker 1: we can handle the smart TV or the kid's tablet
24:10
Speaker 1: or whatever. Just be like, no, we can't do all
24:12
Speaker 1: of this right now. There's way too much going on.
24:14
Speaker 1: So we're going to simplify for a month and then
24:16
Speaker 1: we'll start adding them in as we begin to gain
24:19
Speaker 1: some context. Again, this might be a clarifying conversation about
24:23
Speaker 1: what is actually pulling on your child's heart and what
24:26
Speaker 1: levels of the family are actually healthy and what just
24:29
Speaker 1: has been normal for a long time. And then we're
24:32
Speaker 1: going to build hedges. Yes, the family hedge around conversation
24:35
Speaker 1: and relationship, but also the network and the device hedges
24:37
Speaker 1: to make sure that these devices are doing what we
24:40
Speaker 1: say they're doing, to make sure the devices are following
24:45
Speaker 1: our family rules. Wow. To make sure these devices are
24:48
Speaker 1: following our family's rules. In light of all this, though,
24:52
Speaker 1: that at the end of the day, the goal is
24:53
Speaker 1: to remember that as followers of Christ, we are new creations.
24:57
Speaker 1: that that then, if I'm a new creation in Christ,
25:00
Speaker 1: as 2 Corinthians 5.17 tells me, then I have a
25:03
Speaker 1: new heart and I also have a new mission. I'm
25:05
Speaker 1: called to love God with all that I am, to
25:07
Speaker 1: love my neighbor as myself and to help others do
25:09
Speaker 1: the same. I'm also told that I should cut off
25:11
Speaker 1: or gouge out anything that causes me to not put
25:15
Speaker 1: my trust in the Lord, anything that causes me to
25:17
Speaker 1: run from Him, which we call sin. We begin trusting
25:20
Speaker 1: in ourselves or in something else other than God to
25:22
Speaker 1: be good enough for us. So, This is really the
25:26
Speaker 1: heart at which we are approaching our tech. When we
25:28
Speaker 1: think through the gospel, the good news that God saves sinners,
25:30
Speaker 1: I'm a new creation, and I want to see his
25:32
Speaker 1: kingdom come in my life and then in the world
25:34
Speaker 1: that he's placed me in. And that includes my family,
25:37
Speaker 1: my children, my workplace, my community, and wherever else he
25:40
Speaker 1: sends me. So think through it in that light that
25:43
Speaker 1: this isn't just, how do I fix my kid? Because
25:45
Speaker 1: our kids are not problems to fix. They're people to love.
25:48
Speaker 1: And instead, we are going to go, okay, how can
25:50
Speaker 1: I love my child well? I'm going to love them
25:52
Speaker 1: well by helping them establish relationships. great tech hygiene. So
25:57
Speaker 1: with that in mind, go use the best tech well.
25:59
Speaker 1: You can write down any questions you've got, comment on
26:02
Speaker 1: this video, or send me an email, nathanatgospeltech.net. And then
26:06
Speaker 1: I look forward to talking with you again next week
26:09
Speaker 1: about how we can use the best tech well and
26:11
Speaker 1: raise kids who love God and use tech. Talk with
26:13
Speaker 1: you then.