Latest / MyMaine Birth / 93. Navigating a Traumatic Birth and Finding Healing: Emily’s Maine Medical Center Experience

Transcript

93. Navigating a Traumatic Birth and Finding Healing: Emily’s Maine Medical Center Experience · MyMaine Birth

0:01
Angela: I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
0:13
Angela: From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
0:23
Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
0:31
Angela: Welcome to episode 93 of the my Main Birth podcast.
0:37
Angela: Today we're going to be hearing from Emily as she shares her powerful story that sheds light on the challenges, the unexpected turns and the emotional aftermath of a birth story that does not go as you imagined it would.
0:51
Angela: I believe it's important to create a safe space for these narratives, to raise awareness and to support those who've gone through difficult birth experiences.
1:01
Angela: To all the pregnant mothers listening, I encourage you to assess your emotional readiness for today's episode.
1:07
Angela: If hearing stories of birth trauma might not be what you need at the moment, please skip this episode.
1:14
Angela: For those of you who've recently experienced birth trauma yourself, I want you to know that you are not alone.
1:19
Angela: I see you, I hear you and I'm here to support you.
1:23
Angela: I offer a virtual service designed specifically for mothers who need to process their birth stories.
1:29
Angela: My birth healing sessions over Zoom provide a safe and confidential space to explore your emotions, find healing and work through any lingering feelings of disappointment, fear or grief.
1:41
Angela: I'm an experienced birth professional and I'm ready to listen, offer guidance and help you navigate the complexities of your birth experience.
1:48
Angela: If you're interested in scheduling a birth healing session, visit my website, mymainbirthcom.
1:55
Angela: Remember, your story matters and I'm here to support you every step of the way.
2:00
Angela: Together, we can heal, grow and find strength in our shared experiences.
2:10
Angela: Thank you for joining me today on my Main Birth, and remember to take care of yourself and each other.
2:13
Angela: And, as always, let's keep the conversation going.
2:15
Angela: You can always message me over on social media.
2:18
Angela: You can find me on Facebook or Instagram at my Main Birth.
2:22
Angela: All right, let's get to it.
2:24
Angela: Hi, emily, welcome to MyMainBirth.
2:28
Angela: Hi, thanks for taking the time to chat with me.
2:31
Emily: Of course.
2:32
Emily: Thank you for having me.
2:33
Emily: I'm happy to be here.
2:34
Angela: Will you start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
2:38
Emily: Yeah, so me and my boyfriend Curtis have been together for about eight years now, been with him since I was 17.
2:46
Emily: And then we have two dogs, a Italian Greyhound and a Black Lab mix.
2:54
Emily: And then we live in Mechanic Falls, so kind of like central Maine area, and we love Maine a lot.
3:00
Emily: We love to be outdoors, take our dogs, walking along with our son Lincoln, who is a two and a half.
3:06
Emily: He will be three in December.
3:08
Emily: Yeah, it's a little bit about us.
3:12
Angela: Tell me a little bit about when you first found out you were pregnant and what were your thoughts in choosing your care.
3:18
Emily: Yeah.
3:18
Emily: So the funny thing is we actually were not trying.
3:21
Emily: I was actually on birth control.
3:23
Emily: I had no idea I was actually pregnant.
3:26
Emily: Funny story kind of how I found out.
3:28
Emily: It was May 22nd, which was my sister's birthday.
3:32
Emily: Earlier in the morning we had went looking for glasses.
3:36
Emily: And we were there looking for glasses and all of a sudden I got like super nauseous and I had to run into the bathroom and I actually ended up getting sick.
3:43
Emily: I thought it was just something silly and my sister actually convinced me on the way home to get a pregnancy test.
3:49
Emily: I absolutely didn't think I was pregnant.
3:51
Emily: So later when we got home I took the test.
3:54
Emily: I was by myself.
3:55
Emily: My sister has a daughter, so she was putting her for a nap and I took the pregnancy test and it was like immediately showed up positive.
4:03
Emily: I was freaking out because I again we were not planning just a big surprise.
4:09
Emily: So I called my boyfriend and told him and I was just crying and he was so excited.
4:14
Emily: And then, as far as like my care, I decided to go with Intermed.
4:18
Emily: I've been with Intermed since I was 18 years old.
4:20
Emily: I see Dr LaVoy and I just absolutely love her.
4:24
Emily: I feel like she's just so personable and just has a very great, just demeanor.
4:28
Emily: She's always made me feel very comfortable.
4:31
Emily: So I stuck there through my pregnancy and for all my prenatal stuff.
4:35
Emily: And I remember going in for my first visit and they did the ultrasound just to see how far along I was, and I was actually already 10 weeks along, so it was very surprising.
4:46
Emily: I was already halfway or just about through the first trimester when I found out.
4:50
Emily: So the first trimester was really good, was a little nauseous here and there, but nothing crazy.
4:55
Emily: And then my whole pregnancy really was just amazing.
4:58
Emily: I had no issues.
4:59
Emily: I loved being pregnant, loved being able to feel him kick, all the little things, and so, yeah, I had really no issues at all through my pregnancy up until I was like 36 weeks.
5:11
Emily: I remember I went in for just like my routine, one of my routine visits.
5:14
Emily: I was, I think at that point, being seen every two weeks or weekly and at that appointment they took my blood pressure and it was high.
5:21
Emily: I believe it was like 150s over, like high 90s.
5:25
Emily: So they were like keeping an eye on that.
5:27
Emily: They had mentioned like the possibility of preeclampsia but they had never like tested or anything.
5:32
Emily: So I just kind of went along with it.
5:33
Emily: They saw me weekly after that for like blood pressure checks.
5:36
Emily: And then I remember I went in for my 37 week appointment, so a week later, and my blood pressure was actually even higher.
5:44
Emily: It was like 160s over like 100.
5:47
Emily: So at that appointment I hadn't even seen my doctor.
5:50
Emily: It was just like a nurse visit.
5:51
Emily: So the nurse went and talked to my doctor and she recommended that I go over to Maine Med to be induced.
5:58
Emily: So because they were very worried about the blood pressure and the baby, so I kind of went along with that.
6:03
Emily: I didn't really have a whole lot of information.
6:06
Emily: Looking back I would have asked more questions.
6:10
Angela: So did they offer you any other options at this point, or were they just like you need to go be induced right now?
6:16
Emily: Yeah, they were kind of just really pushing the induction and at that point I was kind of I was being a little selfish, I was over being pregnant and I just wanted to meet my baby, so I kind of just went along with it, not really thinking much of it.
6:29
Emily: And so, yeah, I got to the hospital.
6:32
Emily: I called my boyfriend he was actually still working, so he left work early and went home and grabbed her bags.
6:37
Emily: And then I called my mom and she met us there as well.
6:40
Emily: She was there the whole time, which she was a very huge support system for me.
6:43
Emily: Don't think I could have made it through without her or my boyfriend, honestly.
6:47
Emily: So, yeah, I got to the hospital.
6:49
Emily: My sister dropped me off because she actually came with me to that 37-week appointment, so she dropped me off and I walked into the hospital alone and like an hour and a half to two hours later my boyfriend had finally met us and my mom and in that two hours they kind of just gave me the rundown and kind of told me the induction process Everyone's different.
7:08
Emily: Sometimes it can take like two to three days, sometimes it works faster for people, and we didn't know if I was dilated or not yet, so they weren't really sure at all.
7:16
Emily: I remember two nurses coming in and they tried to put IVs in me.
7:21
Emily: I think they tried like four times and they could not.
7:24
Emily: So they had to like call someone and do like an IV, ultrasound guided, like do that.
7:30
Emily: So they finally came up and did that, got an IV in, and then finally, I think my boyfriend had gotten there, and then, not too long after he got there, a doctor had come in and kind of explained the process and gave me a couple options, I believe I think first they checked me to see if I was dilated at all and I was not at all.
7:50
Emily: So then from there they kind of gave me my option.
7:52
Emily: I believe they gave me the option of doing like a Cervidil, so the pill kind of soften your cervix.
7:59
Emily: They also gave me the option of the Cook's catheter, so like the Foley catheter, that kind of with the balloon that manually dilates you.
8:06
Emily: So after kind of thinking of my options and talking with my boyfriend, we decided to go with the Cervidil, the pill.
8:12
Emily: So they did that.
8:15
Angela: What was happening with your blood pressure during this time?
8:17
Angela: Was it had it settled or was it still very high when you had made your way over to the hospital?
8:23
Emily: It had dropped like a little bit, but it was still high, that they were concerned about and they wanted to continue the induction process.
8:30
Emily: So I think the main concern was just that my blood pressure wasn't really going down.
8:34
Emily: Looking back, I don't think they like gave me any medications to try to lower it or anything, yeah.
8:39
Emily: So we just kind of went through with it and my blood pressure kind of stayed the same, didn't really get any much higher, just stayed about, I think, like 150s over 90s, over 100s, kind of deal.
8:50
Emily: So yeah, then we did the pill.
8:52
Emily: I think they came back and they checked me a couple hours later and I think I dilated like to one centimeter.
8:59
Emily: So not much.
8:59
Emily: I was a little kind of discouraged, just that not much had happened.
9:01
Emily: So then I think we tried another pill.
9:02
Emily: I was a little kind of discouraged, just that not much had happened.
9:04
Emily: So then I think we tried another pill and just kind of started to get pretty crampy here and there, but kind of just worked through the pain.
9:12
Emily: Walking helped a lot and just moving around.
9:15
Emily: And then I came back a couple hours later and checked me again and I believe at that point I was like two centimeters.
9:23
Emily: So again, not much progress.
9:25
Emily: And then after that we had tried the catheter so that's kind of when things picked up a little bit.
9:31
Emily: They did that procedure and then about four hours after that, the catheter.
9:36
Emily: I actually had got up to go to the bathroom and the catheter fell out.
9:40
Emily: So they checked me again.
9:41
Emily: At that point I was like five centimeters Now.
9:46
Angela: are you still eating and drinking at this point, or at what point did that shift?
9:57
Emily: Yes, so I was still eating and drinking at this point.
9:58
Emily: This was Thursday.
9:58
Emily: I went in Thursday around four o'clock on December 2nd and then after like around when the catheter had fallen out, that was probably around the following day, so Friday morning around like 5am.
10:10
Emily: So then that finally fell out and I believe after that they started me on some Pitocin as well and I was just trying to like rest obviously here and there.
10:19
Emily: And then I remember at one point it was pretty early in the morning, so I think a little bit after that catheter had fallen out, it was like probably six o'clock in the morning and I was resting.
10:28
Emily: I was like actually sleeping and I remember just a bunch of people came rushing in.
10:32
Emily: I guess his heart rate had dropped to like the 40s.
10:35
Emily: So I remember them just coming in and like kind of getting me up on all fours and just trying to like change me around positions to get his heart rate up, which luckily it shot right up, which I was very thankful for.
10:46
Emily: They don't really know why it happened and they had like mentioned if this continues to happen, we might have to talk about like a possible emergency C-section, which I was very hesitant about.
10:57
Emily: I did not want at all.
10:59
Angela: And this was right after they started the Pitocin.
11:01
Emily: You said so right after they started the Pitocin, you said yes, yep.
11:06
Emily: Okay, yeah, so it was very scary.
11:07
Emily: I was willing to do it, obviously if that's what it was going to take to get him here safely, but luckily it did not come to that.
11:15
Emily: So I remember all day Friday day it was a great day.
11:18
Emily: I walked around a bunch.
11:20
Emily: I was still eating, still drinking.
11:22
Emily: Biggest thing for me, I think, when my contractions really started to pick up, was like being in the water.
11:26
Emily: That was just so helpful, just feeling the warm water on me and that just helped me a lot.
11:32
Emily: And like breathing through the contractions definitely helped.
11:36
Emily: And so around.
11:38
Emily: I remember around like eight o'clock Friday night, just after I had eaten, we had ordered some food and all of a sudden I got super nauseous and I just threw up a bunch.
11:48
Emily: I think it was due to like the pain.
11:49
Emily: It was a struggle getting through that night, friday night, but I was able to manage.
11:54
Emily: We just kind of got in a bunch of different positions, tried like the peanut ball, just walked a bunch.
12:00
Emily: And I remember Saturday morning came around and the pain was just unbearable.
12:04
Emily: So I requested an epidural at that point so they had come up and we were able to get the epidural.
12:10
Emily: Still, it was just a very slow progression.
12:13
Emily: Finally, saturday day, around like four o'clock, I just started to feel a lot of pressure.
12:19
Emily: So I had them come in and check me and sure enough, I was 10 centimeters.
12:23
Emily: So they started kind of like coaching me through, like we did some trial pushes, which was great, and I remember the doctor came in and unfortunately it was not my OB that I saw throughout my whole pregnancy, which was also a little discouraging, but I kind of just went with it.
12:40
Emily: I said it's all right.
12:44
Angela: Was it another doctor from Intermed?
12:46
Emily: Yes, yes, and she was very nice, and I also remember there just being like a lot of like residents in the room at the time, which I was okay with.
12:53
Emily: Looking back, I kind of wish I would have said maybe not as much people, but in the moment I agreed to it, which is okay, and so the doctor had come in and introduced herself to me and just kind of told me the plan, and so then I really started pushing around like 430.
13:09
Emily: Within that time, like when I really started pushing the first hour, his heart rate again kind of dropped a couple times and they were not getting a good reading on like the wireless I'm not 100% sure what you call them.
13:22
Angela: The monitor yeah.
13:24
Emily: Yeah, so kind of in the midst of everything, his heart rate kept dropping.
13:28
Emily: They decided to I don't really think everything just kind of happened so fast.
13:33
Emily: I don't really remember them fully explaining it to me but they put like actually like an internal monitor, so it like screws into the baby's head.
13:41
Emily: I think it's called like an FSE or something like that.
13:44
Emily: So they ended up doing that, which just obviously put him into more distress.
13:48
Angela: And you don't feel like that was explained fully to you, like what that was, as they were doing it.
13:55
Emily: Correct.
13:55
Emily: I had no idea until after that it actually screwed into his head.
13:59
Emily: I remember there being like a scab there for a couple of weeks after he was born and I don't know.
14:05
Emily: I really don't remember them explaining it to me.
14:08
Emily: Maybe they did and I was just in so much pain that I didn't fully comprehend it.
14:12
Emily: But from what I remember I don't really remember them going too much into detail.
14:17
Emily: So they kind of did that, put that in and they still were not getting a good reading and then, like I actually pushed for like almost three hours and about 20 minutes before he came out, the thing actually somehow came out unscrewed from his head.
14:32
Emily: It came off.
14:33
Emily: Yeah, um, it was just kind of a nightmare, um.
14:37
Angela: so I still kind of did they try to put it back in, or did they just leave it?
14:41
Emily: they, I believe, just left it.
14:43
Emily: So finally, finally, I felt like this is it, I can't do it anymore.
14:47
Emily: And then I just had one last push and I just gave it my all and finally he came out.
14:52
Emily: And when he came out he was actually blue.
14:54
Emily: He was not breathing they're not really, and I remember them just calling a code, they had to call NICU and they came running in like probably 15 between nurses and doctors and obviously to me what felt like an eternity, I think it was really only like three minutes, but he wasn't breathing and they were just working on him.
15:22
Emily: And finally they were able to get him to breathe and they had to put him on high flow, put an IV in him and finally they were able to get him to breathe and they had to put him on high flow, put an IV in him and I remember they just took him right away to NICU.
15:32
Emily: I didn't even get to experience that, just like skin to skin and bonding and everything that I was looking forward to, so that was very, very difficult.
15:44
Angela: Yeah, that's incredibly difficult.
15:46
Angela: So when did they cut the?
15:49
Emily: cord.
15:49
Emily: I think it happened honestly pretty fast because he wasn't breathing.
15:52
Emily: They like, when he first came out, they laid him on me for like literally a second and then he wasn't breathing.
15:57
Emily: They kind of like sternal rubbed him and still wasn't breathing.
16:01
Emily: So they then, I believe, cut the cord and then brought him over to a table and started like working on him more.
16:08
Emily: So I believe it was pretty fast.
16:11
Emily: And at that point they took him right away to NICU and I remember just telling my boyfriend I didn't want our son Lincoln to be alone.
16:16
Emily: Luckily my mom was there with me by my side for the rest of it, but I remember just telling my boyfriend go be with Lincoln please.
16:23
Emily: I just want someone to be there with him and just make sure.
16:26
Emily: And during all this I don't even really remember it I remember my mom just told me, I think, because I just went into complete shock during all of it I remember just I don't personally remember it, but my mom was saying that.
16:39
Emily: I was just saying it's going to be okay, buddy, it's okay.
16:42
Emily: And I don't even remember it.
16:43
Emily: Honestly, it was all just such a blur to me.
16:46
Emily: So and then my boyfriend Curtis went with our son Lincoln to NICU and I remember probably five minutes after that at this point I was just my head was just so fuzzy I think I had lost a lot of blood.
17:01
Emily: Come to find out I was hemorrhaging.
17:03
Emily: I started, started hemorrhaging and I remember just kind of going like in and out of it, not really fully remembering.
17:11
Emily: They were luckily able to get that under control and my mom was there kind of with me through it all.
17:17
Angela: So do you remember at all if the placenta was birthed yet at this point?
17:21
Angela: So they cut the cord.
17:23
Emily: So actually it was not birth.
17:25
Emily: Um, so this part I vaguely I like vaguely remember the doctor actually had to like go up and literally like pull it out of me.
17:33
Emily: I remember just this hurt, honestly, like more than pushing him out, I remember just looking down and her whole entire arm up to her shoulder was like inside of me just trying to pull it out and make sure she got like all the pieces and it was like obviously they put it in the bucket and I remember my mom like went over to it and they were like examining it very closely and my mom was like what are you doing?
17:54
Emily: Is everything okay?
17:55
Emily: And they were like, just, we just need to make sure we get everything and make sure that nothing is left behind.
18:02
Emily: And so it was just a very chaotic experience and, yeah, it was just very traumatic honestly.
18:09
Angela: Totally.
18:10
Angela: That's super traumatic, oh my gosh.
18:12
Angela: So what happened sort of after that while you were in the hospital?
18:18
Emily: So our son, lincoln was in NICU for four, almost five days and we ended up getting discharged before him but luckily they let us stay with him.
18:28
Emily: My boyfriend had gone home for, I believe, two nights just because we had dogs and I remember being in the NICU room with him and I was just so scared.
18:37
Emily: I remember hearing all like the beeps and everything.
18:39
Emily: It was just every little thing just scared me and I was alone, like having to do it by myself and my boyfriend couldn't be there with me.
18:47
Emily: And yeah, I had like the nurses but still it was just.
18:50
Emily: It was very hard and just seeing him hooked up to like being on oxygen and having like an IV, it was just very difficult for sure.
19:01
Angela: Wow.
19:01
Angela: So when did you get to meet him for the first time after birth?
19:05
Emily: So that was not until the following day.
19:08
Emily: So I had him at 830 that night and I didn't even get to hold him until like noon the next day.
19:15
Angela: Yeah, did they say what was going on with him?
19:18
Emily: Just that they think because he was born at 37 weeks, that his lungs weren't fully 100% developed.
19:24
Emily: They said it can be more common in boys.
19:26
Emily: Um, I guess.
19:28
Emily: So that, yeah, and they just don't know like exactly because the um the thing came on done from his head so they weren't sure like really how long he wasn't breathing for.
19:38
Emily: And luckily, I thank god, he has like no brain damage or anything and he is just healthy and happy as can be and so smart um, so someone was definitely watching over me but but, yeah, um, I never really got like a real answer.
19:55
Emily: They just kind of think that he was not 100% developed.
20:00
Emily: And yeah, and I just remember like a week after we were discharged from the hospital, I remember my mom um had come over to my house and she actually came over and stayed with us for like a week to kind of help out and she kind of had to like process everything because it was like traumatic to watch her daughter, her baby, experience, like what I had to experience, and at the time I didn't hear this like when it was going on, but she had told me that, um, one of the nurses came up to her after Lincoln was born.
20:30
Emily: This.
20:31
Emily: This will stick with me for the rest of my life.
20:32
Emily: She said you might want to take a picture of your grandson because this might be the only time that you see him.
20:37
Emily: Like they didn't think that they were gonna, they weren't sure what was gonna happen and in the moment I don't think the nurse was like trying to be mean.
20:45
Emily: I think she was trying to like cause she sees that that's like her job, she sees stuff that happens like that.
20:52
Emily: So I think out of her heart she was just trying to like say just in case, if anything happens.
20:56
Emily: But yeah, I just remember that and that definitely sticks with me.
21:02
Angela: Yeah, that's.
21:02
Angela: That's terrifying, my gosh.
21:04
Angela: Yeah, yeah.
21:06
Angela: So how was your postpartum then, after you left the hospital, how are those first kind of few weeks for you?
21:14
Emily: so it was pretty tough to be honest at first.
21:17
Emily: I think just based off how he came into the world, um, and then having to be in NICU and just knowing that he came into this world not breathing a lot of nights for like the first month, I honestly would like I did not sleep.
21:30
Emily: I would stay up and kind of watch him and make sure he was breathing and just kind of obsessing a little bit Like I know that's normal for some first time moms, but I think I was like obsessing over it a little bit too much.
21:42
Emily: So that was tough and I actually ended up going to my doctor and talking to her about it and got on some medication and then about like four months postpartum, or probably like five or six actually, I actually started going to therapy, which helped tremendously.
22:00
Emily: Just talking about my birth experience and how traumatic it was for me Truly helped a lot.
22:08
Emily: And then actually along when I was probably three and a half months postpartum, I was actually on my way into work.
22:15
Emily: I'm a CNA at Mercy Hospital, so I was on my way in to renew my CPR certification and I get in a car accident brand new car.
22:23
Emily: I only had it for three weeks.
22:25
Emily: Thank God my son was not with me, but I actually ended up getting pretty hurt from that.
22:30
Emily: I had a pretty bad back injury.
22:32
Emily: So that kind of played into my postpartum experience because I was in so much pain I couldn't really hold my son for as long as I wanted to and breastfeeding became much harder, so I kind of had to stop doing that.
22:45
Emily: And then, I think, like just the stress from everything, my milk production kind of slowed down.
22:50
Emily: So that was very hard and then I felt guilty for a while, just knowing that I couldn't like provide my son with, like the nutrition that he needed.
22:59
Emily: And I was never against formula but I always, like, just wanted to breastfeed to have that special bond.
23:05
Emily: So our breastfeeding journey got cut short, which was very difficult as well.
23:09
Emily: But again, just going to my doctor and telling them those feelings that I was feeling and getting help and going to therapy, truly going to therapy, I think, is what helped me get through my postpartum experience.
23:23
Emily: I went to therapy weekly for almost a year.
23:25
Emily: So yeah, that played, I think, a big part in just my healing and everything.
23:30
Angela: Yeah, really taking the time to unpack everything that you know really went down during your birth experience, like afterwards, if you do have a traumatic birth experience can not only just be helpful but just, you know, like fundamental, like in moving forward like from that with a just you know like fundamental, like in moving forward like from that with a solid, you know kind of state of mind, because it really can, you know, break you down when you go through like an experience like that.
23:55
Angela: It's so traumatic.
23:57
Emily: Yeah, yeah.
23:57
Emily: And I just remember looking at my boyfriend like saying I don't know if I could do this again, like, but since we've, I've worked through it again in therapy.
24:06
Emily: I don't feel that way that I once felt, which is good.
24:11
Angela: When you first were starting the therapy, what were your thoughts?
24:14
Angela: How were you viewing your birth versus as you worked through the process?
24:21
Emily: Yeah, so when I first started therapy it was definitely it was very hard to talk about.
24:26
Emily: Every time I talked about it I would break down and cry.
24:29
Emily: I honestly, for a while I didn't talk about it.
24:32
Emily: I just kind of like numbed myself and shut off my emotions.
24:35
Emily: And I think that's why, like the first like three months of my postpartum were tough, because I kind of like suppressed those emotions and never really felt them and like really dealt with them.
24:48
Emily: So yeah, when I first started therapy it was definitely rough, but my therapist was amazing and we just did a lot of like exercises, just like narratives, like talking, breaking down each part of like my birth experience and like before, when I would look at it I thought like the whole thing was terrible.
25:07
Emily: But really, like looking back at it, it really wasn't terrible until, like I started to have to like push like up until then my whole hospital stay was great.
25:18
Emily: Like we had a couple scares whereas heart rate dropped, but really up until that point everything was great.
25:23
Emily: So we just kind of worked through and did like a lot of exercises and then just weekly like revisiting it and slowly, as time went on, it just got easier and easier to talk about.
25:34
Emily: She just really validated me and just like knowing that I wasn't the only one and that there's other moms out there who experience this too, and that's like a huge reason why I wanted to come on to your podcast, just spreading awareness and like I definitely don't want to scare any new moms by any means, but just knowing that if this does happen to you, you are not alone, because I felt so alone when this happened, like in the beginning.
26:04
Emily: Like looking back, I felt so, so alone, like wow, I'm like the only person this has happened to.
26:10
Emily: But as I've kind of opened up about it and like read articles online and have like become part of like some groups, I am not the only one.
26:19
Emily: There's other moms out there who experience it.
26:21
Angela: So, just like bringing awareness to it.
26:23
Angela: Yeah, that's why we're here.
26:23
Angela: So, just like bringing awareness to it.
26:24
Angela: Yeah, that's why we're here.
26:25
Angela: Very unfortunate, but knowing that, you have like a good community and like knowing that there's other people out there who've been through it, just it helps.
26:40
Angela: So now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting or even new parents.
26:49
Emily: What would be the biggest thing you'd want to share with them?
26:50
Emily: I think the biggest thing.
26:50
Emily: I'm sure you've heard this a lot, but truly, just always listen to your gut.
26:55
Emily: Like I truly believe that if you feel like something is wrong, just go with that feeling and just believe it.
27:04
Emily: Like, for instance, my son.
27:07
Emily: For the first year of his life he probably had like eight to 10 ear infections, so ended up coming to the point where he ended up getting tubes in his ears.
27:14
Emily: But like every time I knew, just like in my gut, like every time I knew he had an ear infection before, like it got confirmed.
27:22
Emily: So just like small things like that, Just always listen to your gut, I would say yeah, that's definitely super important.
27:32
Angela: Do you feel like you followed your gut throughout your birth experience?
27:37
Angela: You know it can be like a whirlwind when you go into your just a regular appointment and they're like, well, you need to go be induced now, you know like, do you feel like it was hard to kind of like, yeah, if you were to go back, would you have made different, maybe, choices.
27:53
Emily: Yeah, that's a really good question.
27:55
Emily: I definitely think I kind of just went along with them and did not follow my gut as much as I liked.
28:00
Emily: I think part of that is I was not educated.
28:04
Emily: I should have been done more research about just pregnancy and birth and taking more classes.
28:09
Emily: So I think I just kind of put it in the hands of the medical professionals and just kind of went along with it.
28:15
Emily: So, looking back and like, obviously as a first time mom, you don't know anything.
28:19
Emily: You just kind of learn when your baby's here.
28:21
Emily: So yeah, I think, definitely looking back, I kind of just put it in their hands and did not follow my gut and I do have regrets about that, but you can't change things.
28:32
Angela: So Thank you so much, emily, for coming on the podcast today and sharing your story, because I think you you know this is just such a great point that does come up over and over again is that if this has happened to you, like you are not alone, and there's so many of us that have gone through these experiences and I just I really appreciate you for being strong enough to come and share your story with us all.
28:58
Emily: Thank you so much, and I thank you as well for just having a safe, safe like spot for people to be able to come to you and share their stories, and I think what you're doing is amazing, so thank you.
29:13
Angela: And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast.
29:18
Angela: Thank you for joining me and listening.
29:20
Angela: If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages.
29:33
Angela: I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide.
29:46
Angela: I want to invite you to grab my top free resource for newly pregnant moms.
29:52
Angela: It's called 37 questions to ask your care provider whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers.
30:01
Angela: This is for you.
30:02
Angela: Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for.
30:12
Angela: So go grab that.
30:14
Angela: It's at mymainbirthcom slash download.
30:18
Angela: Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories.
30:25
Angela: Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.