Latest / Arkansas Athletes Outreach / Ep. 4 - Why Your Words Matter in Youth Sports with Tyler Foster

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Ep. 4 - Why Your Words Matter in Youth Sports with Tyler Foster · Arkansas Athletes Outreach

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to the AAO Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Here at AAO, our mission is to build champions for life through the transformational power of sports.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Here on this podcast, we are aiming to equip you, the parent, the grandparent, the guardian, the aunt, the uncle, leading a child in youth athletics in today's culture.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: So buckle up and thanks for joining us here on the AAO Podcast.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Hey everybody, welcome back to the AAO Podcast for episode four.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: Today we are joined again by Tyler Foster.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, if you haven't listened to episode three, uh where Tyler was with us, uh go get that a listen.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: But Tyler's back today.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to talk a little bit more on the parent side of softball and travel athletics.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: And as well, Tyler, we're going to get into just the nature of year-round sports.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so thanks for being with us again today.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: If you haven't listened to episode three, Tyler's the uh director of operations at Legacy Softball Academy.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so feel free to check them out.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: And thanks for being with us today.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: But uh so, Tyler, you know, one thing that we talked about uh last time was just the nature of, you know, hey, let's make let's equip coaches and let's make sports fun.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Let's make use sports fun again.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, what is it, you know, as far as parents, you know, that you're seeing trend wise, that their perspective is um sometimes difficult to work with as a coach, or you know, you wish they were more informed or educated, I don't know is the word, but more informed.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh what subjects would some of those be?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I would say one thing I I wish that our parents in new sports, and I think this is across the board, I wish they were more informed of is there there is true power behind your word.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And the things that you say to your kid, um, whether it's after a game or after a play.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um so something that I and I like to share this a lot is like, and I I almost brought it today, but I figured this was not the place to do it.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: But let's say I have a plate.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um if I break that plate and I throw it down and just and it just breaks and say it breaks into two, I can glue that plate back together and it will hold.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But if I take that same plate and then I throw it down again, it's gonna break into even more pieces.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then I'm having to use more glue to be able to put that plate back together.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I did it again, say the third time, well then it's almost impossible to put that plate back together.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm making that comparison to is it takes that many atta babes in order to fix something whenever we're we're confronting our kids and telling them like, you should have done this, you should have done that.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, imagine there's that plate breaking.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so you may be able to glue it back together, but then it's going to get to a point to where it doesn't matter how many atta babes you're you're feeding your kid back after you've kind of told them what they've done wrong, it gets to a point to where then it's like, hey, you've you've reached your limit.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: You've reached your limit.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um and now your your kid's shutting down because you've got to be more positive, have more positive reinforcement for our our athletes and understand that they our kids are smart, like um, and they they take heart to what you say.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um because you know our our kids they want to please their whether it's their coaches or or parents, and they don't want to fail for that.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I think if we could just take that into consideration with our with our athletes of knowing that like sit back just a second before you say that, like a little bit of impulse control.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just immediately go right at them and it's like think like, okay, if I say this, how is my kid going to respond in this certain situation?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um so well, first and foremost, thank you for not bringing a plate and smashing it here at the studio.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: I figured this would not be the place for that.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's that was a good choice there, yeah.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: But no, I love that analogy.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because man, it's hard to to dig out of that hole that we're we're inadvertently or and unfortunately putting ourselves into sometimes as parents.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I had told, I mean, I tell this frequently to people, but you know, during a game, you know, what I often see in the athlete is when they there's a mistake or or a success, usually the first person they're looking to isn't to the dugout or to the coach.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Where is it, Tyler?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Mom and dad.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Mom and dad, come on, mom and dad.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Mom and dad, they definitely every time.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm at my daughter's uh volleyball game on Tuesday, and they're they're nine years old, and it's uh it's still it's there, you know, where little little kiddos making make some play.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and she's fired up, she probably did something good.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: I remember the exact spot, go stand there right now, and she's looking over at mom and dad.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I I try to tell parents that.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, hey, you're where they're gonna be looking.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, that's we're talking a little bit more non-verbal communication in that space.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, there's I just and I had uh I had an athletic director, this was back when I was in high school, and his name was John Fraser.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe this might be the one lesson I took from my time with John Fraser, um, was I remember him telling me in another kid, he said, never do the sh the shoulder shrug on the field where you just toss your arms up and you're like, man, yeah.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, You're just tearing, he's like, you're inadvertently just tearing somebody down.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that just really stuck with me.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I it's not necessarily a pet peeve of mine, but I I don't like seeing that, you know, from a coach or from a parent or from another athlete, because I'm like, hey, you're chewing, you're chewing that kid out, you know, you don't even realize it.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um so hey, okay, so what do you think a parent should say then?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what would be your perspective?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, your parents in the vehicle on the way home after a tough practice or game.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what's your take on that?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'd say um I like to kind of teach a rule and follow a rule of for the parents is like, you know, once once you get in that car is take the the take the cap off because then you're no longer you're no longer playing that sport.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're in the car.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: If if your kid wants to address that and wants to discuss what happened in the game, then 100%.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not necessarily what our kids are looking for in that moment, especially after a tough game.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um they're just looking for mom and dad in that calm presence of like, hey, I I need someone right now after what I just went through to to build me up.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't need to have flashbacks of what what just took place on the field or on the court.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um because our our our youth they're already aware of their performance if they had a bad game or if they if they had a good game, like and that sticks with them until their next one.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um so if if our parents can, you know, once you get in that car and the the kind of the rule is like take that cap off, and then like you're no longer ballpark dad or ballpark mom.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you're mom and dad.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's bigger, it's bigger than just sports.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that that's what I would love to see more of our parents do.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that's something that I preach to my group right now, and and I I told them that the very first parent meeting we had.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and I'll say I have I have an exceptional group of parents right now um that are just buying into that, and you can see the difference already in our kids.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um and we've been together two months.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I love that, I love that you said they're bought into that.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone's rowing in the same direction.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, so my daughter's nine, she's doing volleyball right now, and um it's I find and my wife's actually the coach for the team, and so I get to watch that kind of fun dynamic there and and then work through that together.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's it's actually that ride home is really hard for me.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I work in the space.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I work in the space.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and I mean, and I just want to be transparent in that talk.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just even hard for me.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Just like not to because there's always that one thing where I'm like, man, hey Evelyn, you know, try this next time.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I I'm like, I know I don't I don't do that.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I I work really hard to it.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: And um and during the game, to kind of get around that or during these practices, I'm intentionally looking for things that she doesn't realize that she's doing that are positive.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that way I can come back to those later and just talk on that.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, yes, you were a really great teammate.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: You were really encouraging today.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: I noticed that.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm not talking about anything with her performance.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just referring to things that she could control.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's she's a good idea.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: Your attitude was really good.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: I noticed, and you were given so and so high fives after everything.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, that's something I've had to work on.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: But it's I just again, transparently, that's just hard for me.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I again I'm in the space and I'm like, I gotta do a little bit better there.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's tough too.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because that I don't think that's not a skill that inherently we all just have.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's like I I was talking to some of my coaches there, um, and I think sometimes as as parents, as we tend to put on the blinders for our kid and think that our kid I and this nothing's wrong with this.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: We want we want the best for our kid, or we may think like, oh my my kid's D1.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's D1 or bust with my kid.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I think too, is like just setting those realistic expectations that like they're nine or ten.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so like these are those years of w what we've kind of touched on previously in the last episode was the development.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it goes back to that of like that's such a crucial time frame, really, from like nine to thirteen and even fourteen, yeah, of like what we need to instill in our athletes so then that way they have those resources, and they're by the time they're in high school sports, they are fully developed and ready for that.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's right.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, man, I love that.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because again, I think last episode, you know, you said use this term whole development.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: And that I think that maybe speaks into that sum of it.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, kind of as we we talk about success and failure in sports and the idea of development.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do you would you say that success or failure contributes to more development for a kid in sports, or is it both?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what do you see there?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it I think it's it could be both.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think also it it depends on I think parents don't realize then even how much of a role they play in that um with with their athletes, uh the whether it's the sec success or the failures of of what happens on a day-to-day basis within their sporting career.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so, okay, so we're talking um lots of reps, okay?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're talking practice, we're talking games, we're talking car rides to tournaments, lots of reps.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: We have a lot of opportunities for growth.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, in in the nature of youth athletics, um, softball sounds like a little bit basketball for sure, where it's become year-round inadvertently, uh, whether that's club or middle school ball, high school ball, and then they come into a travel season.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, what are some signs that you see or that you're aware of as far as burnout?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's a question I get asked by parents, is like, hey, when is the time for my kid to start doing stuff year-round?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, how do I know that that's good for them?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think yeah, I think I think the second that that your child lose loses the interest or that excitement to even go to practice is when you can see to where it's like it's time, say you're you're telling your kids time to get ready for practice, and you see that just that sigh, or um it's like, I don't really want to do that.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think that is the point that we're reaching of like, okay, we're doing too much.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think I don't know when this really started.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: This wasn't necessarily the case whenever whenever I was growing up here, and especially even in Northwest Arkansas, is more athletes now are specializing in a specific sport.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, whereas whenever I grew up is we we played every sport that we could.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it didn't really allow for the sports that are now to where they're they are year-round.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's a like even for us at Legacy is um, you know, we have fall ball that that runs typically from August till the end of October.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then you have your off-season program that goes the entire offseason.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then come February, March, you're starting back up again and you're you're going into May.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because we have indoor facilities now for baseball, softball.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and so yeah, why aren't we getting some swings in in January?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, keep going though.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think with with uh with that one is if when you the kid's gonna lose interest, or you can tell a kid's reaching that burnout when the kids is not does not have that same excitement to go to practice.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I think like one thing that we try to do, um, and I'd say me specifically with my team is is we try to fill in those breaks.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so say Thanksgiving break, and I try to follow like just our normal school breaks, is Thanksgiving break.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want my kids to pick up a ball.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like don't do anything, like go go be a kid.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like have I love whenever my my athletes are able to have other hobbies outside of just sports.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um and we'll do Christmas.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know what, like spend your time with your family.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like because at the end of the day, like that means more than than any of this, any of the sporting things that we're doing.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um is that quality time.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I think just trying to you can make it year round.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's fine for an athlete, even at a younger age, but I think you've got to you've got to be able to pick up on those cues for your athletes.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when athletes are at practice and they are just kind of dragging, or if you feel like you're just going through the motions, yeah, um, then maybe that's a good time to take that break.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because what I love to see in our athletes then is um it's almost they reach that point where they miss it.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And they get that fire back in their eye of like, I'm ready to go out and compete again, like I'm I'm ready to be with my teammates and continue to grow.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that's what providing breaks throughout the season then provides for your team.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah is that where the girls don't or boys don't, they don't lose that excitement for the sport.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Is there okay, so you know, I think and what I'm taking my takeaway from there is you know, we need we need parents to count the cost as much as they can before they commit.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if that's what you're saying, but that's what I'm hearing a little bit from there is like, hey, let's take an inventory of what we're heading into the next three months, six months, whatever it is.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, what are some questions or what should a parent be looking for in the travel space that they know, like, hey, this is a this is a good environment or it's healthy and my kid is gonna be protected from some burnout.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Is there any any cues that you'd say, hey, yeah, if I was gonna go look at a club, regardless of the sport, I'd be looking at maybe these one or two things?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think that depends on in every I mean there's going to be similarities with every organization across the nation, and especially here in Northwest Arkansas and I our kind of little bubble.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think that ultimately depends on the the coach kind of depicts that climate of what that is, and so I I suggest even for parents if you're looking for specific organizations or development or if if you're wanting to see like how the kids are handling whether that burnout is um you can go to the ballpark and you get a good observation of just watching watching the parents in the stands or watching the coaches' interaction with the players in the dugout or the interaction with the umpires on the field.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's so many different things that go into that to where you can see like, okay, I've seen this team out here every single weekend, and every single weekend it looks like they they are just having the grandest time.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then for me, as like as uh if I if I were to be a parent and have a kid of my own, then that's what I'm looking for for my kid.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Is that to where it's like those kids, even if they're out there, because sometimes we'll we are notorious for doing one-day tournaments, and those are you were at the ballpark for 12 to 13 hours in a day.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if you can see those families and coaches and kids that are still having fun, um then that's where I'm like, hey, that's that's where I would really look at.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because those kids aren't burnout.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: They're um and I think just depending on like as we said earlier, is like there's power behind our work.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if we're listening to how our coach is speaking to the athletes, I mean that could that could additionally add to that burnout is like I'm not receiving the instruction that I feel like is beneficial for me in order to continue to still have the love for the game.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it reminds me a little bit on one of our earlier episodes, we had Jeff Sotoquist, who's a basketball or was basketball coach over at JBU, AD now.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: And that was one kind of one of the things he talked about.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: He was referring more to college recruiting, and he was just saying, like, hey, as a parent or as an athlete, if you're looking to make a decision, you know, and he he was kind of telling you, be guarded of coaches or programs that aren't transparent and won't let you see things.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: And what I'm hearing here is like, hey, you're telling parents, you know, I may take an afternoon and go to the ballpark and just go watch watch a game and see how that is, and you're gonna get really transparent because that coach is out there coaching.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you know, and go see something.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: Again, not a direct parallel, but I'm picking up really similar things there.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, without a doubt.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: Go see something.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: So I really like that.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so all right, hey, as our as a parent or as a coach, um, we've already reached the point where that kid is they're they actually may be a little cooked, they're a little burnt out, they've been at it for a little while.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and I you actually referenced this in episode three, you know, first episode here.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: You were talking about uh the nature of the mental health side of an athlete.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um can you tell us a little bit more about that?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, how are you protecting your athletes over at Legacy?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, how are you remedying those situations?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: What's some of that look like for you guys?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that I strive to do is I I I strive to get to know each individual player um on an individual basis.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so like I don't want to just know um about your like your softball experience or what we're discussing here.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um so like for that mental side is I need my athletes and and all athletes should know like they have a coach that genuinely cares about what they're doing outside of softball.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I'm frequently asking my my kids and was like, hey, what what was one fun thing or a highlight of your day at school today?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or like asking them certain questions about their family and just like for them to know that like as a coach that their coach has an interest in and what they're doing, not just whenever they're coming to you, whether that's two days for practice or the weekend tournaments or lessons, but it's also just like, hey, my coach genuinely cares about me just as a person, yeah, not just as an athlete on this team.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the who, you know, behind it.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: And at the end of the day, like um that jersey's gonna come off, they're gonna put on the street clothes, they're gonna go back to school, they're gonna go do whatever they're doing.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, man, I hope you still love me, like at the grocery store.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: And the thing is, is whether we want to admit it or not, or if we're ready to reconcile the subject, is like, and we're all gonna grow up, or we're gonna keep growing, you know, even at our at our stage of life, we're gonna keep growing.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: And 30 years from now, that athlete's gonna be sitting with somebody and they're like, Man, I have this one coach, and they were super awesome.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: Or they'd be like, Man, that guy was kind of a dud and didn't really make me feel great.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: And uh that's that's where I think we're gonna have to reconcile.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, man, that's the impact I had on somebody.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_02: And we may not know that though for a long time.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's hard, man.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you said that.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we we just had a practice um this Tuesday, and so and I was riding back with one of my coaches, and we were talking about that.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is um he highlighted, he goes, it's it's really neat to just see what what we are doing um for this this specific team, for the girls on this team right now.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I made the reference to him and I told him, I said, you know, I said, it may be tough right now because the group that I coach is 12.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I know some of the things that I'm trying to impart on them or on a deeper level than probably what your majority 12-year-olds are being exposed to on the mental side is.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I told him, I said, you know, we they might not understand right now what what it is that we are trying to accomplish for them, but we are trying to have a skill set that's not just transferable for athletes, but that that that skill set can be generalized in in a public setting.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Of all the lessons that we can learn from sports.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all them.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: I said they by time that see if they're in high school or college or they're becoming young adults, I said they not they may not remember that exact coach or something that said something, yeah, but then all of a sudden those morals and values and characteristics have just been instilled into them, and that's what makes them ultimately who they're going to be.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because we're talking about acorns, right?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: And the nature of, hey, you're planting seeds right now at twelve.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: And man, I and I I think it's admirable because you, Tyler, you may see some of those fruits.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Man, there's a good chance though, you may not see a lot of those.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: There's going to be a coach, Lord willing, three years from now, ten years from now, that's going to see those benefits.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: There may be a spouse, there may be kids down the road, they're going to see the fruits of those seeds that you're talking about planting yourself.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's that's a big deal.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, it's huge.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's a holistic and and I'd say godly view to have on that type of thing.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Without a doubt.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that's that's really incredible.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I could just wrap right now on that, and yeah, you know, that's that's right on the nose.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um well, hey, and I guess as we do kind of head towards the close here, yeah.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Last question, um, you know, what are some patterns you do see um from families that that have healthy experiences in travel ball or or just baseball, softball in general?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: Is there any anything you're just seeing consistently that you're like, yeah, that family's doing something, they're they're doing something right.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think I think those families that ultimately have the most success in this is um they set clear boundaries.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um and what I mean by that is they they have that protected time that that is for their family.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I think like say with my background in teaching, I'm gonna reflect on that again, is um Understanding the importance of schedules.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: And scheduling in with parents, and if you have multiple kids is tough.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to be able to share, like, say for for my team, is like, hey, these are the two days, this is when we're when we practice.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's not gonna be, I'm not gonna throw you for a curveball and say, hey, guess what?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Surprise practice or um our tournament schedule.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: We we make our tournament schedule um in August, and and I will try to stick to that unless rain or anything or for tournament doesn't make.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um but then that allows my parents to have that protected time for them of knowing, like, here's our whole fall schedule.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: This week, this week, this week, we are off.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we are not doing anything sports related.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna go do family, family stuff.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go read.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think ultimately that those are the families that have the most success in that is that they they value and protect that time that is near and dear for themselves and for their family.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I love that because you know what we're talking about, I think there is man, we need we need parents to lead in that space.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: And take that ownership and just say, hey, this is what we're gonna protect over here.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: And then you as the coach and the director over here, is you're saying, hey, this is where I'm gonna come alongside you, parent, as a teammate.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna set this expectation and this boundary that, hey, this practice is gonna be between this time and this time.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna stick to that.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not gonna throw some mandatory thing on that you feel obligated to be at.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: And there's this weird pressure expectation, I'm not gonna put you in that spot.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's what you're saying.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: So another thing we we've been faced with that is um our de our practices are Tuesdays and Fridays.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so we we had we've had it's happened to us once this year to where I've I've scheduled a Wednesday practice, um, knowing that we were going out of town to Kansas City and we weren't be going to be able to practice Friday.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also with with our team, our our the team that I coach is very faith-based.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um and for me, with with the girls and where they're at in their stage of lives right now is they are all kind of like being introduced to their first time with like true youth group.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that is not something for me that I'm willing to take away.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I even I had an athlete that had something we we scheduled to Wednesday practice, but then um goes back to that clear communication with the parents and coaches, and um, you know, those parents were able to notify me, like, hey, this is there is something specifically this Wednesday that my child would love to be a part of.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like when it comes to that, like I'm not batting an eye.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, look, that's more important for me than than any of this.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, go do that.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there will always be another practice.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: And and this is not, I don't think this is your intent, but think about the buy-in you're still you're gonna get from that.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, like go go take care of what you need to and and what's gonna fill your cup up.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, man, because they're so and they're just gonna be more bought into you as a coach because they know hey, we have a great relationship, we can communicate with tuck with coach, yeah, and he'll help us out.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: And we but we gotta honor our things, yes, and yeah, you're just it's coming right back around to you, I know it is.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's not your intent in that, but yeah, I know how that goes, but then 100%.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's awesome, that's super good.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, um, Tyler, we've loved having you.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: Uh thanks for having me.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, before we let you go, you know, we did our rapid fire questions last time.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: I really love doing that.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, can I get you one more time?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do it.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: All right, here we go.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we'll run through these.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, the best thing a parent can do for their young athlete is put them in as many opportunities for them to succeed.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Get them in there, get them a lot, get them exposed to a lot of different things.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's super good.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, hey, when your child succeeds, remember to reinforce that.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like continue to reinforce that that success.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, especially say baseball and softball, those are sports that are based on on failure.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I tell my kids, as wild as this sounds, and I'll I'll throw the statistic out, is you can have a a hitter that hits 300 and is making the Hall of Fame with a batting average of 300.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you if you really break that down into just 10 at bats, you're telling me that that guy girl got only three hits out of out of ten, and they are still considered great.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's that's what I would want to touch on.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: That is like understanding like just because you failed is not it's not the end all be all.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um like you're gonna fail more than you ever will succeed in this sport, but that's what makes the sport so fun.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is that I love that.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: And and kind of again, these are rapid fire, but everything is stated today.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: There's a stat for everything.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Everything.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, ESPN, and they're pulling some stack that's like, how are you guys coming up with this?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: And but reinforcing, you know, those successes and those wins and just driving hard on that, and that's where we're gonna plant our flag on those successes.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh hey, so now you maybe just answer this one, but parents should worry less about what?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: Winning.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: Winning.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know you said.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm I'm sticking to that.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Get away from that.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Let's focus on transformation.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, yeah, I love that.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you came back because you like just doubled down on that.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, no, I still feel the same way.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I will always, yeah.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: That is something that I will I will never switch my focus on.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um now I told my parents this and we had this conversation.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: I said, if I'm in a high school coaching position or if I'm in a college collegiate coaching position, if I don't win, I'm not providing for my family because then I'm potentially losing my job.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: As travel coaches, that's not the case.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, we cannot be focused towards win at all cost.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like we've got we've got to focus on that development and teach them the skill set that they need so whenever they reach that level, they're ready.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they're ready for that next challenge.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's right.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's set the expectation.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, we're probably gonna win some games.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're definitely probably gonna lose some games.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that's just part of this.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: And we're gonna progress through that.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: All right, hey, last question here then for you, Tyler.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: On that leaders in esports should focus more on making sure their kids know that they're valued.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, speaking life into them.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, man.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: Genuine connection.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: Man, hey, you're more than an athlete.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: I can we love you no matter what.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so good.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love that, man.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm fired up for what you guys have going on there.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, you told us last episode, remind us one more time though, if our audience they want to learn a little bit more about what you guys have going on at Legacy Sports Academy, where can they find that out there?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the easiest platform to reach us on or to find anything resource-wise, is is through our website.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: So our website is uh legacysportsacademy.com.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and on there, all of our other social media handles will be there, whether that's Instagram or X account, and then also our Facebook.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um so we're we've pretty much covered it all as far as platforms.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, our website is is their main point of contact.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, man, Tyler, thanks so much for being here.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, I feel like I need to come over.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe get some swings in.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Come on with it.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be a little bit more of hey, guys, girls, this is what you should not do, is this, but yeah, I feel like I need to come check some.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: You definitely should come over sometime.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: All right, we'll see.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: Hey everybody, thanks for listening in today.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, hey, if you want to know a little bit more about what we have going on at AO, feel free to head over to our website, aoteam.org.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, there you can find about leagues, training, camps, um, everything under the sun uh that we can do to serve you, serve your child, uh, and serve our community just as we're trying to transform lives through youth athletics.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so thanks for listening and we look forward to tuning in again.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: That wraps up our episode today.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: If you like what you heard and you want to stay tuned, and you want to help us in our mission, we would love if you'd like, subscribe, and follow along as we're on this mission to build champions for life through the transformational power of sport.