Latest / Claymore: Become Who You Are / #21: Letter to Families with Father Christopher DiTomo (part 2 of 3)

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#21: Letter to Families with Father Christopher DiTomo (part 2 of 3) · Claymore: Become Who You Are

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Become who you are, podcasts that production of the John Paul two renewal center.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I'm Jack, regurge your host.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us today.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Saint Catherine of Sienna said that if you become who you are, that you would literally set the world on fire and Saint Athanasius and early church father and doctor, the church said that son of God became man, so that we might become God.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: You know, I I'd take a wild guess at this, but I bet you, most of us are just a bit disconnected from that divine life that these saints appointing us to yet John Paul, the second set that there's an echo of this story of this divine life that we are created for inscribed an each human heart.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: And if we put on the proper lens, we put on the proper glasses, we can get in touch with this echo within us in such a way that we have that aha moment.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: See, this is the genius of John Paul, the second theology of the body.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: It connects our lived experience of life to the gospel in such a way that our life takes on a whole new meaning and helps us answer the big questions that our whole culture seems to be so confused about today.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Who am I?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: What's my purpose.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Why were we created male and female?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: How do I find happiness here on earth?
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: How do I find love that satisfies forever glad you're with us.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: And we'll be right back to begin.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Today's episode.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Welcome everyone.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: It's great to be with you.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I'm excited.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Pumped up again to be joined by father Christopher[inaudible], pastor of st.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Galls parish in Elburn Illinois for episode two on marriage, the family, and really what it means to be human using John Paul, the second letter to families as a foundation for our discussions and my interest in doing this mini series came out of two things.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Really.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: First of all, the blessings that Saint John Paul, the second, uh, the second teaching on love marriage and the family had in my own life, especially in the very real struggles of my own marriage.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: And then later when I took up full time ministry, I saw firsthand on a daily basis, the full blown crisis that marriage and the family are having, uh, in today's times and the profound impact that this teaching can have to combat that crisis.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: It is the cure, the vaccine for the pandemic.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: We're seeing a marriages and families today and on top of divorce, abortion euthanasia families, you're dealing with so much with the widespread use of pornography, the confusion surrounding same sex marriage is gender identity.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: And when John Paul began to talk about this in this letter in 1994, the culture has only gotten worse, actually much worse since that.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: And he said, unfortunately, there are various programs in place backed by very powerful resources.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Nowadays that seem to aim at the breakdown of the family.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: And at times appear to be concerted efforts may to present as normal and attractive, and even to glamorize situations who are, which are in fact irregular.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: And, and indeed they contradict the truth.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: He said of love.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: And that should, that should inspire and guide relationships between men and women.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: This causes tensions and divisions and the families and grave consequences follow, especially, especially for children who are now experiencing major anxiety issues, often as a result of this.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: And it's gotten to the point where many parents when confronted by this crisis and the confusion have simply thrown up their hands.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: When it comes to sharing the faith through no fault of their own, they're often poorly catechized themselves.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: They feel ill equipped to deal with and discuss these issues at home or anywhere else.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: So when they try to pass on their faith, often periods become paralyzed.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: They feel threatened as the cultural labels that bigots or accuses them of Patriot for just trying to live out and share the faith.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: So who would blame them for beginning to wonder if the church really has the answers and to think that maybe the culture has a point, maybe there is no objective truth.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe there is no right way to live.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: And in the midst of this crisis and confusion comes along st.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: John Paul, the second with that big smile at his, you know, in confidence with the antidote and a clear truth of who we are and how we're to live as human beings made by love.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: He wrote it, the history of mankind, the history of all of salvation passes by way of the family and that while men and women walk many paths in life, along these many paths or among these many paths, the family is the first and the most important.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: So it's st.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: John Paul truly prophetically points us to the fundamental realities of who we are as in our creation as male and female, the truth of human love, the family that's crucial for society and the church today.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And these are key issues.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: We're facing a personally, I don't think enough people have woken up to the urgency and the need within a church to support marriages and family life, and really making that a priority and parishes and dioceses and catechesis and evangelization, evangelization, evangelization as a whole.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: So father and I are going to follow the example of John Paul.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: The second I take this opportunity to knock at the door of your home, eager to greet you with deep affection, just spend time with you and the sheer.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Remember just as twofold version, this twofold vision, I should say, to help spouses, parents, and young people to understand God's plan and vision for marriage and the family.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: And then number two, to just remind everybody to pray and how to pray if you have questions about prayer, right?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: So at this time, I like to say hello to father Christopher, the Toma, how are you father?
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I'm doing good.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Jack, are you doing
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Good?
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: So how's the battle.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: How's the battle for our hearts and minds taking place with the, with the Corona viruses?
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Are you able to make some progress there?
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: You think?
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: I think people are, it's a, it's a, I think people just are requiring perseverance right now.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: I think people are getting a weary, you know, from being away from the sacraments.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Um, so it's a little bit of a long battle.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: We hope we get back to public masses soon, but, um,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Any word father on when that, uh, when that could come down?
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: No,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Not yet.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Not in our diocese yet.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: I think we're all still.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: I mean, my prayer is that in June when this, I don't think there's going to be much change before the, that executive order, uh, stay in place.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Executive order expires in may, May 31st, but my prayer is that by June, we, you know, we'll be able to get back, but I that's all up to the Bishop.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: And, uh, so we're all just kind of waiting.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: And, um, Ryan,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know some churches and I around the country are opening up for adoration.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Um, are, uh, how about Texas or having Texas?
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Texas.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Louisiana.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: So there's some dices have opened up there.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Every, every place is a little different as far as how much the, uh, the pant, the, uh, the, uh, COVID is, you know, how many cases they have, not everybody has the same number of cases, but yeah, we'll just kind of wait and
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Well, in the meantime, father, you ready to jump in for episode two today?
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: That's, you know, one of the cornerstone passages fathers, you know, uh, for John Paul's work is Matthew 19 verses three to eight.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Uh, when Jesus himself is confronted by the Pharisees with questions on marriage is, uh, specifically divorced.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: And he Pat he points his back better sheets.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: You know, this Hebrew word that the whole Bible starts with to the beginning.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: And it's fascinating, really.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I'm going to ask you father, and while I'm going through this to get ready, and maybe you could read that for us.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: We'll unpack that a little bit, but, but what is that beginning?
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: That Jesus points us to, you know, God's original plan.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: He's pointing us to this place before sin and it's fascinating.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: And I think it, I think it's worth reading a father.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: So if you have that in front of you, could you read that?
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: So verses three to eight and Matthew 19, and I'll put this again in the show notes for people that want to read it again.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce, one's wife or any cause the answer, have you not read that he who made them from the beginning, made them male and female and said, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: So they are no longer two, but one what, therefore God has joined together.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Let no man put us under.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: They said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: He said to them, for your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: But from the beginning it was not.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: So
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you father.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: That's that's the first time, you know, I was studying, uh, John Paul's work father and I, and I, and uh, you know, of course this is one of the cornerstone scriptures that the John Paul uses.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: And I thought, Oh my gosh, cause I was going through some real trials in my own marriage.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: And I thought, wow, you know, Jesus is pretty straight forward about this, right?
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: That, uh, that, you know, he's not gonna allow divorce.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: And why then that Moses allowed divorce in the old Testament.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: He said, well, because of the hardness of your hearts and man, that one really hurt me, father.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: I know when you're teaching about marriage and stuff yourself, I mean, this is a hard saying, isn't it?
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, the indissolubility of marriage, the idea that I'm a man and wife pledged their love for each other and that they have to go their entire lives til death.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Do you part keeping that together?
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: That's a daunting project, right?
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: We look at, um, how frequent divorce occurs in our world and how so many things can happen when you have two independent people who live together as man and wife.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: So many things can come up.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Health sickness, uh, changes in career stress, right?
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: Uh, infidelity, things like that can happen and people hurt each other.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: How do you stay together for a lifetime?
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Uh, and then, you know, it's, it's a daunting task apart from the grace of God.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: It's, it's, it, it looks like a task that can be sometimes seem impossible.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: And, and it was impossible, uh, you know, too many in the old Testament.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Because Moses allowed it, you know, I think Moses probably just threw up his hands.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: He just said, Hey.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: And actually the scripture scholars without getting in the weeds about it.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: But the, I think this refers to the book of Deuteronomy chapter 24, but really what was, what Moses was dealing with was a ma a divorce as just a reality in the life.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: And he was trying to mitigate it.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: He, that law had to do with protecting people.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: It didn't in any way kind of endorsed divorce or, or, or set it up as a, Hey, this is possible.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Now this is, it sort of was a concession to a reality and trying to mitigate the damage that, that comes from it.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: But it was not the ideal.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: We see that a lot in the old Testament, there's things that God allows because he meets his people where they're at and he leaves them on.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: He gradually leads them to the truth, right.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: To a greater acceptance and awareness of the truth.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Uh, but, but it is fascinating that that was not the ideal.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: And our Lord Jesus takes us back to the ideal.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And to the beginning and to beginning before sin, you know, that, that's what he's pointing as to right.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Father I made his point is to before said, he said, look, I understand these, these are struggles.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: And Moses said, in fact, if, if we would have read, I'm not going to take the time to do right now.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: But if we would read the next couple of lines after this in Matthew, uh, it's actually, the apostles are balking.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I, you know, the apostles start looking at each other and go, you know, and in my own words, I'm saying this, you know, th the Jesus really say this, if he did then, and it's not expedient to marry, right.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Maybe we should, maybe people shouldn't be getting married.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: And, and, and I, I could see young people that, that way now, today they see so many divorces, you know, so many problems with marriages.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: They go, well, why even do it father?
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, right.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: We'll get married later.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: People are getting married later in life and they're, they're putting it off and, and postponing it because there is fear.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: There is fear about, about the reality of marriage and can it be, can, can we live it out?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: And, and, and being, and living together, right.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: You asked people, young people.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: And they said, you know, I don't need a certificate.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Well, uh, you know, a marriage in a part of that is just, I don't, I don't trust it.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I really don't trust the institution at all, but right.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: So here's what, you know, it w look, it, this is a hard saying.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: And, and, and, you know, for those people listening that are struggling with their own marriage or ready to divorce, look at, I empathize totally with you.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I was there at the time.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I, I took up my study, my marriage had gotten so bad.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: It might, you know, when I started my marriage, my wife and I, our marriage had gotten so bad that I was praying to God every day that he would give me the grace to stay in my marriage.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Just for one more day, I used to pray, you know, for a while, like, can I stay in it until my kids get to high school or whatever, and then a month, and then a week.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: And finally, I was down to praying every day.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: So I'm very aware of this.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: And, and Jesus was aware of this too.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: He, he was well aware of the struggles.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: My wife and I were having an, our marriage.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: She's well aware of the struggles that anybody listening is having in their marriages, uh, or your friends or your family, but Jesus here, this is the difference.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And this is what Jesus, why he can say this.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: He didn't come to condemn, but to heal, not to give us more rules to follow and say, no, no, you got it.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: You got this tough rule and you gotta file.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Look at, he knows where we came into a fallen world.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: He understands all that.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: He came for simply to restore the grace and the divine life and love and our lives so that we could actually do this.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: You know, Jesus didn't come for sin management.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: He came with the power and this is what I learned firsthand.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: This is what got me so excited about this.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: In the beginning, he gave me the power to come back into my marriage so that I could stop praying to make me do one more day and actually begun.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: When I found out my wife, wasn't the enemy that the enemy was the enemy, and that sin was coming between us.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: And this was a battle that was going on and in my heart and in my wife's heart, but this was a battle of between good and evil between love and lust.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: It was an old battle, right?
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: And so Jesus came in, I, and, and, uh, kind of finish this thought.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: When I first came into teaching theology of the body and John Paul's work, I would work with engaged couples for the diocese of Rockford, actually.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And I would ask them, you know, who wants an average marriage?
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: And nobody would ever raise their hand.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Nobody wants an average marriage.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: They want above average.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: And then the other question they would love to discuss is why divorce?
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: You know, why are so many people getting divorced?
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: And in other words, why does this incredible love that every single couple, nobody goes through marriage, unless they feel this incredible love for each other, right?
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Why does that turn so often to dislike for each other and then to hatred?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: And that's a powerful thought, right?
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Why, how could the beauty and power of love turned to dislike and turn to hatred?
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: And how can we, you know, reduce that?
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: And that's what Jesus is coming in.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: You know, it's just us coming in and saying, look it, you guys are living like cut flowers.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: You're disconnected from the source of life and love.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: And you expect to be able to fulfill it.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: And father, you said this, what do you remember what you said last week?
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: What was so important?
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: One of the things that you've learned in the seminary, that's saying you can't give what you don't have.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: So unpack that a little bit, father for us, will you?
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know, to be able to, um, give anything.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: And that means to be able to give, uh, wisdom, to be able to give sacrificial love, you know, whatever it is, you can't give it if you don't have it and where do we get it?
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: We get it through the Lord through prayer.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Um, so, or you think about this as a father.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: Like if you're, if you say, as a father, I'm going to, I want to teach my children, the virtues.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: I want to, I want them to learn about the virtues of patience and hard work and, and justice and temperance.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Well, if you don't practice them, how are you going to hand them up?
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Not that we have to be perfect in those things.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: We're still, you know, we're sinners, but if you're not trying to cultivate the virtues in your own life, how are you going to hand them on to your children?
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: How are you going to be able to love your spouse sacrificially, if you have not received the love of God, and if you don't receive the love of God regularly through prayer, if you don't let yourself be filled up by God, right.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Prayer, how are you going to be able to pour yourself out?
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: What are you going to pour out if you're not filled with the, with the whole, the love of the Holy spirit, right?
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: And I, and I, yeah, so, and it reminds me of a, of a story.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I remember, um, there's this, there's this couple that would sit in front of me at daily mass.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: They moved now, but, uh, Russell and Laura, these beautiful, uh, couple, they were married about 30 years, a good, good looking couple to a beautiful woman and Russ themselves in good, great shape.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: And, uh, and they used to lean into each other and, and like, you know, just holding hands, you know, and it's that couple sitting in front of me that would look at them.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: I go, Ooh, I want that in my own life.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: You know, they had that, they had that something special.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: You know, they had that chemistry after being married for all those years.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: And, you know, he would put the kneeler down for her and, and in a letter go F you know, it's just a gentleman.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: And she would smile at him when she went by and he just go, Oh man.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: You know, and my heart would ache for that of a relationship.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: So one time, um, one time after a mass, I asked him about that.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: And, uh, and, and Russ said, you know, it wasn't always like this.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: He said it was when Laura got really sick, that I started to come to daily mass.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: And then when Laura got better, she started to come to daily mass.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: And we start to understand this decision of the will to love as God loves.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: And, and you know, it's not that our marriage wasn't okay before, but it wasn't this good.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: And, uh, and, and there's two things that when I looked up at the cross, he said, he said, the first thing is I realized that, that I wasn't the source of love.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And I saw Jesus.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: And I said, that's the way Jesus loves Laura.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: And, uh, and he goes, I want to love Laura like that.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: And then he found the second thing that he couldn't do it until he opened up deeply the Christ and Christ poured himself into him.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: And then he was able to become love to her like he wanted to do.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: And in other words, so again, I'm not the source of love.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I want to open to the, to the person of love.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: God is love.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: And the second thing
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: To be redeemed, to be freed, to be freed of the,
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: And the selfishness, and to be able to be a gift of self, to make a decision as well.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: You know, when we say it's a decision of the will to love someone, it's not a feeling at the end.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, it might have feelings.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I hope it has a good feeling, but, you know, feelings go in and out like the tide, right.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Um, and it's not sex, right.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: If it was just sex, you know, I mean, porn stars would be the happiest people in the world.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Cause they're having sex all the time, you know, but we know that's not true.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: It's a decision of the will to love as God loves.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: And, and at first that doesn't sound very romantic, but the couples that I know that live this out, like Russell and Laura, it's the most romantic thing you'll ever see in your life.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: When you see that I get goosebumps.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: When I think about that, and it comes down to this decision or the will to love as God loves.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: And if you ever want to see what that looks like, just look at a crucifix, like rusted that one day at mass, you know, and it gets us into this paradox.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Father would, I'm going to ask you about, which is this, this God love this gift of self and, and happiness as this paradox, John Paul would say, he, he often spoke to young people and he'd say, young people, you know, your life has meaning to the extent that it's given away as a gift to others.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: My life, your life has meaning to the extent that it's given away as a gift to others, father, you know what, it's this gift of self it's, it's the essence of who we are.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: We are beloved children of God.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: And our purpose is to receive love and then be love in the world.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: It's the two great commandments.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: It's, it's, you know, it's, everything's based on that.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: And so from God, him, his spazz father, we hear man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of self.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: And, and, and, and put you on the spot a little bit.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: What does that mean to you?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: This gift of self father, do you think?
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Well, I think, you know, because it just goes back to the fact that we're made in the image and likeness of God, God is love.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: So we were created to love, right.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: And, and to, and to love means to give yourself away.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: And, uh, there is a, a, um, a battle that we all face because of, uh, because of sin, we all have this drive.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: I think of self preservation.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: We all want to kind of protect ourselves.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: We all want to seek our own happiness, first, things like that.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: But we know that when we actually give of ourselves, that's when we find who we really are, who we are meant to be our best selves, you could say.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: And, uh, I think a lot of people have that experience when they, uh, when they lay down their lives, when they put aside their desires, their needs for the needs of another, you usually you come to a realization of what life is all about.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: You discover who you are, who you're meant to be.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: And then you also discover more God because it's God who gives us the grace to give in that way.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: And, um, so yeah, I mean, I think, I think that's how we were created to love.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: We were created to give, to, to sacrifice, to give ourselves away for the good of another.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: And then we really realized that when we do it, there's no way, no way, no other way.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: We have to realize that by doing it.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: And it's so important to, to, to remember what a paradox and, and, and, and how out of whack that is with today's culture, father, right.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, we have this incredible culture that's out to, to fill ourselves with anything, right.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: This materialistic culture.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: And I, you know, people are not shopping as much as they used to.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: They're not going out as much as they used to.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: So why do they need all those clothes and stuff?
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: And there's a real void and all I could say, and from what you just said here, father, to tell people to reach out, you know, on the phone to people they haven't talked to for awhile to become a gift of self, you know, and, and the same thing in your houses, you know, when, if your spouse is getting on your nerves, your kids are, we're all holed up together, you know, realize that, that, yeah.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: They, they, they, you know, they, they, they scratched me the wrong way today.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: They're irritated me.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: They, you know, just, you know, be a gift of self and learn what that is, right.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: To sacrifice it, to do things for people, even when they're not being nice to you, or they said something, uh, you know, that rubbed you the wrong way and just practice this I'll father.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, the, the, the, the, the marriage vows herself, and I think this is what Christ was getting at, you know, God does not love us and then take it away from us.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: And he made this gift of self to us.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: You could see that very clearly on, on the, on the crucifix, uh, on Christ, given, uh, pouring himself out totally to us.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: And this is the, that we're to love, you know, God's not going to take that back.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: He has, he's going to be the company that I kept.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: And he loved us, even when we didn't love him back.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: And that's what we're called to do.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: That's a very difficult thing to do fathers and to love someone when they don't love you back or when they're not kind to you.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: It's, um, you know, that we talk about the gift of self and the indissolubility of marriage go together, because, um, if you think about it, there's a, there's a wonderful peace and security in knowing that love is forever and that it's not going to be withdrawn.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: We know, like you said, we know that God's love for us is not going to be taken back ever.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: Um, and there's a security that comes in that, and it's supposed to marriage is supposed to have that as well.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: That sense of security that comes in knowing that it's irrevocable, that the love shared between two people, that, that vow is irrevocable and it's, it's definitive.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: And, and, and not to take advantage of that, you know, just like with God, you know, I mean, you and I talked about this previously, you know, God's not like a vending machine, you know, where, where he gives me this.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: And, and then I just take it from him, like a vending machine, or I say a prayer and I expect something good to come out, you know, God poured himself out to us, and now we have to open up and pour ourselves back to him.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: And yeah.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: And if we don't do that, it's really not justice, isn't it?
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, it's not just, if my wife would pour her love out to me and I take advantage of that and, and, and be raped her, or demean her in some way.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's just not a good way to live.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: That's really, uh, you know, when I see that in myself sometimes, you know, and, and the way I can act sometimes, you know, for the people around me and you catch yourself and, and I just try to open myself up to prayer so I can eliminate, you know, not to be a jerk as often as I used to be.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: And I mean that in a little bit facetiously, but, but in a real way, you know, or if I, if I get angry to cut the anger quickly, you know, and, and, uh, look at I'm still human.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I know, but, uh, but to open up to this gift of, of love, you know, and that's why, uh, uh, Jesus saying no divorce, because God is not going to re you know, and, and God's not going to take it back from us.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: You know, this union a community gives us and, and father let's just go over real quickly.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: We did this in session one, but we're created in the image and likeness of God.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: And, and, and so because of that, because of this Trinitarian love where, you know, and I don't want to let you do this father, but Trinitarian love in the work, create an image and likeness of that to be a mirror of that in this created world.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: And, and, uh, can we review that for a couple of minutes, father, you know, and, and, and so that we understand that this call to love as God loves us a very real thing, because we're actually marrying or mirroring, you know, uh, and, uh, as the crown of creation here on earth, uh, the Trinitarian loves story in a created version.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: And,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: Uh, and that's where, you know, love God and love your neighbor is.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: And I think I always go back to, this is so fundamental when we talk about how we're made, created image and likeness of God.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Uh, the two main faculties, uh, that human beings have is our intellect and our free will our will and our intellect, right?
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Our intellect is rational.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: This is what distinguishes us from animals in the world is we have, we have a rational intellect and we have a will that is free.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: So with reason we can know the truth, we can search for the truth.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: And then, and then we can love, we can choose freely, choose to love.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: Uh, this is, this is what makes us like, God, this is what, how we were made in the image and likeness of God, God has an intellect.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: God has a will.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: Um, and you have to have a free will to, to love, right?
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: It's a, you choose to love, it's an act of the will, as you said.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: And, um, so, uh, we're not meant to, I mean, if God is the divine Trinity, if, if, if it's a father, son and Holy spirit and, and the father pouring himself out to the son and love, and the son pouring himself out to the father in love, and the love between them as the Holy spirit, if they're, if the Holy Trinity is one God, but in a communion of three persons, not three gods, but one God, one divine essence, communion of three persons.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Um, then we can't just be in our, we can't just, well, we can, we can live this life in this world, uh, in, in solitude and, and just living for ourselves and not others, but then we're not really being who we were created to be, right.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: We're not imaging the, uh, the, the, the triune God of love, right?
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: We're not imaging that communion of love.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Um, and we're just not made, we're not created to, to, to, to, to act like that or function like that.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: So there's always going to be pain when we, when we try right sin, it's because of the fall that we try.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: But, um, and in some ways it is the default.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: I always say, you know, I think there's a little hurdle of selfishness that we have to always kind of get over, uh, when we want to do something, that's, uh, uh, make a self gift.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: I, I find that, I mean, it's not always, you don't always feel driven to do the self gifs and memes.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: You gotta get over that hurdle that says, ah, I just want to stay in my own safe place and just focus on me.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't want to go, Oh, I got here as a priest, you know, Oh, I got a call from the, uh, the hospital.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: It's like, I actually kind of get excited for hospital calls.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: But I mean, there may be a moment where you're saying, I'm sitting down, I'm having my coffee.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: Like I'm comfortable, I'm having a little rest and peace.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: And I got to go and drive to the hospital, you know, just a split second there's party that says, I'd rather just do my own thing.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Then you get over that hurdle and then you do what you were created to do what you were called to do, and you, and then you come back to the rectory and you say, wow, how beautiful was that?
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: That I, the Lord used me as, as his priest in this moment to pray for the dying, to give them the sacraments, to comfort them, to console them, to pray with them, to give them a sense of hope, right?
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Let me, I mean, the middle, you do it.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: You, it's an amazing feeling.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: And it's, it's that gift of self that didn't then just, Oh, I found who I am.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I found who I'm supposed to be.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: And maybe you don't seriously consider that the hurdle too long.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's a second, you know, but sometimes you do got to get over that thing.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: You got to get over that little self love, um, because we live in a fallen world.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: Like we still have the, you know, that, that thing that holds us back a little bit, you just got to kind of plow through it sometimes with the help of God's grace and with an act of the will.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: And then you find, you know, you experience who you were created to be.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: And, and that, and that translates father.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: It's a great story that translates into our marriages and to our day to day existence, just like that there's days, I feel like sitting there reading the book and my wife walks in, but it's important for me to get up and say, hello and acknowledge that she's there.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: And, and those are those little decisions of the will that we were, we said before, love is a decision of the will.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: And you say, well, that doesn't sound very romantic, but I'll tell you what, when you got back father and, and, and, and you saw that, that you've made that sacrifice, which is a big sacrifice.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: It's sometimes two o'clock in the morning when you, when you're really beat and tired and you haven't slept good already, but you get there and you come back and you go, wow, I know something good happens.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: You know, and the same thing, you know, with my wife, you know, I know something good happened.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: If you try to be kind, you try to be good and, and you're filled, right.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: And, and, and we're not fulfilled just from that, that encounter with that, with that individual person, we're, we're filled with the encounter of the person of the source of love, who was right there.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: And so that gets me to the second part of this father and our final segment, other than, Oh, we want to talk about prayer.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: It's that?
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: How do you bring these two bookends together?
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: So we have this, this relationship, this marriage, just like you have with these, you know, getting up at two o'clock in the morning, and this is your flock, right?
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: This, this is, you know, your, your, your, the bridegroom and persona Christi, that's reaching out to your flock right.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: In this relationship.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: And so that bookend, right, that that's, that, that final bookend of Christ and the church that we read about in revelation, you know, that we're all going to, to our destiny, is to be part of the Trinitarian love story.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: We're destined to share in that exchange.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: That's catechism number two to one, if anybody wants to read it, that, that we are actually created an image and likeness of God, and, and we're destined to share in Trinitarian in that Trinitarian love story, that's where we're going at the end.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Um, and that's the larger story.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: And yet within our own families and our own marriages, and, and, uh, you know, we, we are a microcosm of that, right?
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: That love story living that love story out, but always in connection to the larger story.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: And that's why Jesus took us back to the beginning because into the, in the beginning that love between Adam and Eve, before sin was filled in the ambit, right?
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: The orbit, the ambit, the Maloo of God's love for us, it was all one story we were just expressing Trinitarian love is we are created to do this decision or the will to be a gift to other people because God was raining and pouring down into us.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: And we were just letting us flow through to us and pouring it out to each other.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: And when sin came in the world, all of a sudden there was a barrier there, right?
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: They put on loincloths, they hidden the garden.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: You know, the next generation Cain kills able, I mean, things got twisted fast, you know?
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: And so, uh, you know, the great mystery, John Paul talks about bringing these two bookends together, right?
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: And the Summa of this whole story of bringing the smallest story of our individual lives into the largest story of Christ and the church, so that we can be love in the world.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, this is how we fulfill our existence.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: And, and John Paul would call that a Summa from scripture, Ephesians chapter five, where, uh, uh, you, you remember this well, father, I have it right in front of me.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: So I read part of it.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Uh, but I wanted to unpack this with me.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: It's kind of where we're going to end up the story today.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: And it's, again, it's bringing these two bookends together where we're st.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Paul is talking about this.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: And he said, husbands, love your wives.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, her, this bride, right.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: He's cleansing the bride.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: He's, you know, he, he wants her to come enter this relationship.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: And he says, look, I want you to come into this.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: And he dresses her.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: He comes to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be Holy and without blemish.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: And so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, just like Christ does.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: He loves his wife, loves himself for no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes as a Christ does the church because we're members of his body.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: So then he goes like this.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: He goes, for this reason, a man leaves his father and mother, and is joined to his wife and the two become one flesh.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: So why do we do that?
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: He says, for what reason does a man get married?
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: And a woman get married and become one flesh, right.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: You know, and Jesus point us back to the beginning.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: And, and Saint Paul goes on to say, this is a great mystery.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: And I mean, in reference to Christ in the church.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: So in an essence, you know, it's Jesus who left his heavenly father and his earthly mother to become one flesh with us and our, our desire to become one flesh, to be joined in marriage.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: Again, when all the smoke and fog clears, it points directly to the Eucharist and Christ desire to be one with us.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: And the whole idea behind prayer and the sacraments and everything we're talking about is to open our hearts to that universal love, love, right?
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: That Trinitarian love that Christ came in the world to, to bridge the gap, right.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: To bring us back into that relationship so that we can, we can draw from the source of love.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: We can be redeemed and saved.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: Our sins can be washed away so that we can become without in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: By only by that story of walking into there, are we capable now of staying married forever?
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I mean, you know, again, this love story, um, that we walk into with our, with our wives and the only reason Jesus could say to us, you know, don't, you can't divorce your wives for any cause.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: And the only reason he can say this, because he came to give us the power to do that, remembering again, that our marriage, our early marriage is just a small, tiny reflection of where we're going at the end.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: And at the end, we're not going to be, we're not going to worry about marriage and things, because at the end, this is all pointing to our relationship with our marriage, with, with God himself.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: And of course we pray that our spouses and our friends and our relatives, and everybody's going to be there in, in this great story, uh, father, um, I'm going to leave you with that a little bit.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: And, and, uh, and, and, and maybe just talk a little bit about, again, you know, how, how your role is to bring this really into us as power and, and to beat what a beautiful thing father, um, for you to be able to do that, to be, to, to bring the power of the sacraments and teach us how to pray and bring us back into the story.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: It's, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's an incredible honor.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: I would think
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: And, uh, you know, I go thinking about the priest and then a priest, uh, ministers to the baptize, to the other baptized, who also through baptism have a share in the priesthood of Christ.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: So they offer themselves and their sacrifices of praise and joy and suffering and anything, their work, they offer that.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: But, um, you know, in this Ephesians five, it's the whole idea.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: We could point to a crucifix and say, this is the love of God.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: And I think people can, okay, they understand that we can read the gospels accounts of the passion and say, okay, this is Jesus Christ.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: This is the love of God incarnate, dying for the salvation of the world.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: But you know what, when you have a marriage and you have a husband and a wife, and they sacrifice, love each other sacrificially, and they pour themselves out in love to each other, what they, why this is a sacrament, why matrimony is a sacrament is because then they're able to understand a little bit more of the sacrificial love of God, right there.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: They're able to say, boy, if I, I know what sacrificial love is through the mystery of my own marriage, by my spouse, loving me by me, loving them, how much, and that just how much greater is the love of Jesus for his, for his bride, the church.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: But I got, I, you know, you get a little foretaste it in the sacrament of matrimony.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, a couple of they're faithful to the end and, and, uh, they're taking care of each other when one gets sick.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, by the end of their life, they know what love is.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: They know what, uh, they know what divine love is.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: They've experienced it in their own lives, and it's preparing their hearts for the full manifestation of that divine love in heaven, right?
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: And living out their vocation to make them worthy of that.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, you know, God is this the vine, a person who's who who's perfect and allowing us with our imperfections, right.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: To be joined to him, we know that Christ's sacrifice has to be the bridge, right?
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: There's no way that you're going to take imperfect Jack and, and, and connect him intimately to God who is perfect without a savior in between us.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: But yet, in order to do that in order to be worthy of that, I have to do what you just said, father, I have to begin that love story.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: Now I have to start to love others.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: As Christ loves me today, to be worthy of that.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: And to live the gospel, then I'm living the gospel.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I'm living the great love story that Jesus said, look at the two great commandments, love God, so that he can reign his love into us and then love our neighbor.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: And, and that's the story, you know, it's difficult to do, but on the other hand, it's the most beautiful, um, fulfilling way to live our lives.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Can I share one quick quote with you, Jeff?
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: This is from the catechism.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: This is a paragraph 16, 15, and it's talking about the indissolubility of marriage and it can seem to some people to be impossible, right?
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: This is what it says.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: It says, however, Jesus has not placed on spouses, a burden, impossible to bear or to heavy, heavier than the law of Moses.
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: He himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the reign of God.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be able to quote, receive the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: The grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ cross the source of all Christian life.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: I think that dovetails perfectly with Ephesians five, right?
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: It takes Matthew 19 and puts it together with Ephesians five.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: That is, this is not impossible.
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: It is, uh, it is a grace from the Lord to be able to live the indissolubility of marriage, but it does, it does require taking up your cross, right.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: It does require self-denial and, um, across is what makes it fruitful.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: That was beautiful.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: Father, you know, I'm going to put that in the notes.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: Was that catechism number 16, 15?
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: You said?
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: I'll make sure I put that in the notes.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you for that.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: That was awesome.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: What a, what a way to capstone this whole thing and, and father last, uh, to, to, to kind of wrap this last time we talked about, and, and, and I'll tell you what, when you, since you said that we've been saying that every single time, this silence, you had mentioned silence.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: And, and just to put that into work just before a grace, uh, before mass, uh, you know, streaming mass in the morning before any type of prayer, just being silent for 10 seconds to a minute.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: And, Oh my gosh.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: And I practiced it with my grandkids, even father.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: It was awesome just to be quiet for 10 seconds.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: So thank you for that gift.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: That was a huge gift.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: And that's something that I knew, but I somehow you have to be told to sometimes again, before you're, you're in the right time and the right place.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Now I, you know, I practiced silence by myself, uh, you know, and, and meditation, you know, every day, but, but that was something special to be able to bring this into the family and to bring this into the purse or thank you for that.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: So I, I think I suggest everybody continue to do that from episode one.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: The other thing we talked about episode one is, uh, lectural Davina.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: And so please go back to episode one and, and, and, and talk and listen to what father and I were talking about there.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: And again, in the show notes, I'm going to have a, uh, link, uh, to, uh, to lecture the, from the U S CCB, the United States conference of Catholic bishops.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: Uh, I think that's how you say it, right, father.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: And, uh, and that's so familiar website just talks a little bit about lecture, but really just reading the gospel at night, uh, or sometime during the day and meditating on that.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: And then, and then talking to your family about that huge thing, and father, uh, wanted to, uh, talk, uh, about the rosary, which I, the rosary is just so beautiful and so powerful.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: So father, can you talk a little bit about that today?
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: So we've got silenced, lectural Davina.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: We're going to add the rosary in there, and I'll tell you what, you have a life changing combination here with the sacrum.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: And I just to say a few things about the rosary, I mean, it's, uh, obviously the rosary is, um, about it's meditating on the gospel.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: You know, uh, if you, if you've learned it, if you haven't learned it, it's not a hard thing to learn, but, uh, you know, it's, it's obviously one, our father 10 hail Mary's, uh, usually we pray five mysteries at a time.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: So if we're mysteries, sorrowful, mysteries, luminous mysteries, and the glorious mysteries, but, um, but the whole point is to pray that our father, and then the pray, those 10 him hail Mary's while you meditate on that particular mystery.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: And, you know, even though you might say the hail Mary's out loud, or if you just think them and pray them in your mind, it's not silence, but you know what, because it's a, it's a repetition.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: It does fall into the background, those hail Marys fall into the background.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: And it becomes like a pulsating rhythm where you're praying this beautiful prayer, which comes from scripture, the hail Mary.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: But you're thinking about that mystery.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: You're thinking about the nativity, the birth of Jesus, or you're thinking about, um, the visitation about Mary visiting Elizabeth and sharing with her, the good news that they both experienced.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: Um, and, and you just roll over those mysteries.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: You picture maybe the, the image that you have of it in your imagination, and you're just rooted in the mysteries of Christ, right?
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: Uh, the things he did and said head and, uh, in his is his ministry in this world.
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: And from, I always like to think of it as, like, I kind of think of it as like, from if I could think of it as from Mary's perspective.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: So even, you know, when you pray the fifth sorrowful mystery of the crucifixion and death of our Lord, I try to see it from her perspective, right.
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: How she was, she stood there just a fixed while it broke her heart to see our Lord suffer, but she knew it was the will of the father.
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: And so she was kind of offering it back to the father and I try to see it through her eyes if you can imagine that.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: And, and, uh, and boy, when we meditate on these most important things that, uh, Jesus did with Mary at our side, it really helps us to grow.
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: I think it just gives peace.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: It's if you're anxious, the rosary is a great prayer to think.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, if you're anxious about anything that the repetitive nature of it just it's got a rhythm to it, and it can just let you get anchored in the mysteries of Christ and it can just give you peace, you know?
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: That's, that's beautiful father.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: And I tell you, it's, it's almost like lectural Davina only, uh, w with the rosary, you know, so here we are, you know, reading the gospel at night and, you know, we have spring common, what I've been doing, uh, since this, uh, social distancing thing, uh, is, is just taking a walk.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: Even if the weather is not great, I don't care.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: I put a jacket on and a windbreaker if it's raining a little bit or something.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: And I just, I walk around, I just walk around the block and just slowly praying that rosary and meditating, just like you said, on those gospels, and I'll tell you what it takes me sometimes, uh, uh, sometimes, you know, 10, 15 minutes then to say decade where normally it would just take me four or five minutes, just because
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: Beautiful.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: And there's nothing wrong with that.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: If you, if you want to just pray a decade, it's great to pray the whole rosary, obviously.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: But if you feel called to just pray a decade and a focus on that, and you really want to get immersed in that, that's what God's calling you to do, do it.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: And I, I would tell two families, the rosary is a great prayer for families.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: Some families can sit down and pray five decades of a rosary in 15 or 20 minutes, and they can do that fine.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: Uh, other families, maybe kids are squirmy and they're, they're there.
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: You can't really do that with the pray a decade, right.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: Try praying a decade and just try to get everybody to really, maybe before you pray the, our father, maybe just ask everyone to try to picture the scene.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: What does it look like?
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: You know, try to imagine the colors and imagine what the scene looks like to really let them meditate.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: And then the hail Mary's and the, our fathers, they come, they come naturally, you know, we have those memorized date and then maybe have the kids taking a turn saying one or whatever, but, but, um, you know, just, there's a power in it.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: There's an absolute power.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: And so find a way to bring it into your families to bring it into your marriage.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you, you know, I I've talked to a couples have been married for a long, long, long time.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: And, and how many times I've heard after I've given parish missions or giving, uh, seminars on marriage or whatever, uh, that the secret to my marriage, my happiness, our marriage, and our happiness together as a couple has been saying a decade of the rosary every night.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: I I've heard that so often father.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: So it's so true.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: Those that pray together, stay together.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: There's no doubt about it.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: It'll change your life.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: You know, you know, it's the rosaries like this, you know, I I've had Protestants come up to me.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I walk around with that rosary, you know, and, and, and, and pray it in between.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: And people have seen me with that.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: And they say, you know, what's that all about people that don't know are Protestants and you're praying to Mary or whatever.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: And, and, you know, and, and, you know, I used to explain the rosary a little bit now, I guess I'm just getting to the point where I, I, uh, I just say this, I said, I'm a practical guy, because it's the truth.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: I'm a practical guy.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: And, and, and, and I just got to tell you this, I say the pro the rosary, cause it works.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: That's why I do it because it works.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: And nobody that, that ever prays the rosary ever asks, why do we do this?
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Cause they know you're the millions of millions of people all over the world who pray the rosary every day.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: They never say, why do we pray the rosary?
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: Cause they know it's the same thing with the sacraments, right?
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: Nobody ever says said to me, unless they don't know, unless they don't go, why do we go to confession?
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: I think the rosary is the same way.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: You know, people say, you know, nobody that goes to confession ever asked me, why do we go to confession?
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: Because they know it's powerful because you've got a power, right?
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, feel the power, power, the mercy of the Lord.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, father, it washes over you when you're saying the rosary.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Like you said, there's a piece.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: If, if you want to reduce some anxiety just for a little while and bring some grace into your life, go around the block today saying they're saying the rosary and I, and I'm going to, I'm going to link two books in there.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: Two quick reads.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Uh, they're both based on John, Paul's work one for adults, uh, to help you say the rosary, you can, you can read a little meditation.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: So, you know, you know, which, uh, which mystery that you're, uh, to meditate on when you're playing that decade, sort of make it real easy for you.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: And the other one is, uh, for families.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: So for children and families to say together, and it's a beautiful way to say it because after you say a hail Mary, it gives you just a couple of words or align that you say with the kids.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: And it's a great way to say, like father said a decade of the rosary with your kids, and then you can read a line in between and it keeps it very interesting for you, interesting for the kids and, and brings you deeper into the rosary after you do that for a little while.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: Uh, you'll see the gifts that flow from there.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: So, uh, father, uh, anything you want to wrap up with, uh, we're gonna, we gotta wrap up the session because of time, but anything else you want to, any parting thoughts from you?
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: Uh, I just think, uh, you know, uh, intentionality is always the best thing.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: So try to, for those who are married, tried to be intentional about making, think to yourself, how can I make myself a gift of self today in my marriage?
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: You know, your, your spouse comes down and your wants to talk to you and you got your phone and you're looking at stuff, but your phone down and looking in the face of your beloved and being like, it's a little thing.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: It's a little sacrifice, but it's, it can be huge, right?
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: You just try to be intentional about making a gift of yourself in whatever vocation you have today.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Ah, thank you so much, father.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: And, and next episode, we're going to go a little deeper into the sacraments, really talk about, uh, talk about the sacraments and talk about the grace that flows from the sacraments are really what a, what a sacrament is in, in this image and likeness and really what marriage is a sacrament father mentioned that today marriage is a sacrament.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: What does that mean?
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: You know, and, and so I've got a couple of beautiful stories.
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: I want to tell myself in here, father, and I know you do too.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: So I look forward to that the next episode, uh, in the meantime, remember to subscribe to this podcast, share it with your friends.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: Um, and again, if you are in a good shape and you got a, a stimulus check and you don't need it, please remember the John Paul two renewal center, uh, in, uh, in your thoughts and prayers and, and, and financially, if you can't to is, uh, we've been hurt a little bit by this coronavirus to a father.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Can you, uh, can you, uh, send us out with a prayer, please bless them.
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: The name of the father, son, Holy spirit, heavenly father.
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: You gave us the gift of your son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: And you allow us with your grace to make a gift of ourselves, to others and love and thereby finding who we really are, who we were created to be who you call us to be, to be.
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: So we employed the grace of your Holy spirit, send your Holy spirit into our hearts so that we can make a gift of ourselves to those.
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: We love to those, our neighbors, those who are in our midst, the Lord be with you and we'll nail mighty.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: God bless you.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: The father and the son and the Holy spirit.
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: Hey father.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: Thanks for everybody for being on here to our final, our final episode next week, father.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: Alright, we'll be ready.
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: I'm waiting.
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: I can't wait for it.
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: Alright.